Ritesh and Sheena Don't Tell the Bride

Ritesh and Sheena are totally in love.

They're desperate to get hitched but have ploughed all their pennies into an ice-cream business.

There would have been no way that we would have been able to save the cash.

So we're giving them £12,000 for their big day,

but there's a catch.

They have agreed, in the presence of a lawyer, that Ritesh will organise the wedding, alone.

-Alton Towers! Hire a balloon. Crisp packet.

-No.

They'll have absolutely no contact...

This could be the reason why I end up hanging him.

..and the bride won't know a single thing about her wedding until the big day in three weeks' time.

-Thinking, "What are you doing?"

-Three weeks apart will push their relationship to the limit.

-What?!

-Argh!

-Will the groom cock-up the catering?

-No-one even eats cake, people eat chips.

-Chips on the wedding day?!

Will he and his best man ever take things seriously?

I love it when a plan comes together.

Will the wedding day be a total wash-out?

Heavy rain and wind.

Can this man give this woman a day she'll never forget?

50/50 on, like, brilliance or just complete disaster.

Today marks a special day for Sheena and Ritesh, also known as Ricky.

After two years of dating, the couple are celebrating their formal engagement.

This traditional Hindu ceremony unites their families and makes their commitment public.

The milk drinking ceremony is really important because it's that first initial stage

of the two of us coming together

and everyone giving us their blessing saying, "Yeah, this is great."

Wow, it's lovely.

They may be sealing their love today but in 24 hours' time they'll be saying their goodbyes.

Sheena will be entrusting her wedding plans and her future happiness, to Ritesh.

Their engagement party may be formal but their first encounter was anything but.

We first met at the gym. She was like this gazelle

running on the treadmill, getting faster and faster.

Quite hypnotic at first.

I'd look at her and think, "Wow, she's quite nice."

And both knew early on that this was fate.

We went to see a psychic about two weeks into our relationship.

-He goes, "You'll get married."

-But he also thought we were brother and sister...

-At the beginning.

-He says, "Does your sister want to ask me any questions?"

I said, "You're not the best, are you?"

The couple live in Leicester but they don't share a home.

He's got his own flat.

I live with my parents because in the Asian culture you're not supposed to live together

-if you're not married.

-It gets frowned upon, doesn't it?

Once they've tied the knot, Ritesh and Sheena will be able to live together at last.

But when Sheena finally does move in it's pretty obvious who'll be running this household.

Put it straight in there.

I'm not the boss.

Eh, don't put it there!

-I'm like a supervisor! Put the grater away, we don't need that any more.

-Just dominating.

-No, I'm not!

-Strong-minded.

Takes over everything that I do.

No, no, no!

But with his dominating future wife out of the picture, will relaxed Ritesh cope alone?

Our standards are high, which really great, I think, because Ritesh has got to work hard to meet them.

Burnt again!

It's not just Sheena who'll be casting judgement on this groom's plans,

the whole community will be watching.

If I don't pull this off, the family will be forgiving, but I don't think they'll forget.

You better...make me happy, otherwise he will hear it for the rest of his life.

He will! And I think he knows he will.

It's time for Sheena and Ritesh to say goodbye.

The biggest day of Sheena's life is now in her man's hands.

OK, see you in three weeks, yeah?

See you on our wedding day.

See you.

He always says to me, "Just always tell me what makes you happy and I'll make it happen."

And in his own way, he does.

I think that's really beautiful.

Sheena's barely left and Ritesh is already feeling emotional.

I just feel...

really tired.

I think I'll have a bit of a nap or something in a bit.

It's OK, cos the next time I see her we'll be getting married.

Yeah, it'll be all right.

Hi, Mum.

How are you feeling? You're going to miss him?

Yeah, a lot.

For Sheena's mum it's a chance to prepare her daughter for married life.

-You could learn cooking in three weeks.

-Cooking?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, but Dad, will you eat my food?

If it's as good as Mum's.

It's day one and time to knuckle down.

Ritesh has invited his cousin and chief usher, Nimesh,

along with best man, Bav, to get the ball rolling.

-Venue?

-Food.

-OK...

-Clothes. Like your clothes as well, the bridesmaids.

-Four...

-Transport, horse and carriage or anything like that.

-We've got to do the venue by when?

We'll start getting onto the internet now.

-Funky places to get married.

-That's the one, that's what you want, yeah.

-Bav, on a good day, he's like David Hasselhoff.

-HE LAUGHS

Welcome to mine and Ritzy's world.

But on a bad day... Do you remember that woman in Last Of The Summer Wine?

Fabulous Places To Get Married, it's a book.

-It's a book?

-Yeah.

First search he comes down with!

Nora Batty, yeah, that's what he's like. That's exactly what he's like.

Bav is like Nora Batty on a bad day, but on a good day he's a Hasselhoff.

Do you want a cup of tea?

-Get off!

-Nimesh, he's like a hawk.

He just like walks into doors and breaks a door.

-Sit here with him and do it.

-I've got the Hasselhoff on one shoulder and the hawk on the other shoulder.

Can't go wrong. Alton Towers!

Are you taking the piss?

When people pump him,

he starts rolling with those ideas.

-'How can I help?'

-Alton Towers, please.

Those ideas from being a small idea, maybe just as a joke, grows.

-Hire a balloon.

-Yeah.

-Pow!

-To where?

-Alton Towers.

-I'm quite peckish to be honest with you.

-All right, let's do it. Get the number for Pizza Hut.

So in three hours the only thing they've settled is their stomachs.

Fortunately, best man Bav's back on track.

We can't spend all day doing this.

No, we'll get sorted in a bit.

-We need to decide what theme we're having.

-Bollywood.

-Bollywood theme, yeah?

-OK, is that for the reception party, yeah?

-Yeah.

The idea of him organising a theme-based wedding, it horrifies me, to be honest.

-You have to find a venue today, you know that.

-I know.

-So whatever's open, that's what we pick.

I've always wanted a stately home or a setting like a castle or something.

-Forestry Centre. How about this...?

-What's that?

Write the postcode down, what is it Delta, Echo, twelve. Eight, Jay, X-Ray.

-I'll remember it, don't worry.

-DE12, innit?

-Have you got any good CDs?

-We can't go to this venue with no music on.

-Try and get the Rocky theme tune as well.

-Eye Of The Tiger, yeah?

Right, wicked, let's go.

Why Eye Of The Tiger, though?

MUSIC: "Eye Of The Tiger" by Survivor

-Delta, Echo, twelve.

-Yes.

-Eight, Juliet, X-Ray.

-Beautiful.

# Rising up, back on the street

# Did my time, took my chances

# It's the eye of the tiger... #

With the sat-nav fully primed, the city boys leave Leicester and head to a venue deep in the countryside.

Way! Go on, then.

I can't believe you've got a sat-nav here, Bav.

Detour over. It's not long before the lads come across another diversion.

"Caramel crunch, London fruits, Irish cream, rum and raisin...

-"Whisky and ginger."

-Nah, it's a bit early in the day for me.

Ah, that's better.

Next up, Rosliston Forestry Centre.

Nestled in the heart of the Derbyshire National Forest are...

a tent, a stage and a hut.

It's not exactly a stately home but Ritesh is organising this wedding, not Sheena.

-What's this?

-That's the stage.

This is champion, isn't it?

It's got the X-Factor, ain't it?

But does it have the "Wow" factor his bride expects?

For Sheena, there's only ever been one option, a stately home.

She's at Stapleford Park with sister, Pooja.

I'd love to get married here.

Or a hall!

Or a school hall or something. I don't think he'd do anything like that, ever.

I really don't think he'd do something like that.

Do you?

He wouldn't do it somewhere like that, would he?

Funnily enough, Ritesh is on the phone to the caretaker of a local community hall.

I'm looking to see if I can hire it for a wedding.

Yes, very quick, she's a very demanding woman.

Oh, my God, this is amazing!

This looks beautiful.

Look at the dining table. Thank you all for joining us today.

Thank you to all our guests.

-Look, that's the food area. People will sit in there eating food.

-Wow!

It's so lovely.

I want room service. Ding!

See that trolley there? I could come in on it and you could push me in.

Imagine the wedding song and that.

I'll come in, take me to the stage.

MENDELSSOHN'S WEDDING MARCH PLAYS

Sheena comes up that side, over there, on another trolley like that.

-We meet in the middle and...

-Yeah.

If he's not thought like this, God help him.

You've just got to not think of it as a...

-sort of gym hall.

-It IS a gym hall.

Sheena will be the last of her sisters to marry.

Both Pooja and Neena had large Hindu weddings.

With over 500 guests to cater for, Neena chose a hall for hers.

But there is nothing traditional about this Indian bride.

I want a stately home.

If you don't find a stately home, what choice has he got?

He doesn't have to go to a school hall, though.

Where else can you go?

No. No. No, no.

The boys are also going off the idea.

-It's not what you want, is it? Or is it?

-No.

What kind of hall do you think you want?

We want scenic, the bling factor.

If it rains or the weather's damp from the night before, it's going to get really muddy.

-Yeah, it'll be like Bollywood Glastonbury.

-Yeah!

We'll this provide, like, you know, those hooded plastic bags?

For the guests. "There you go, love.

"There you go, Grandma.

"Put it on and have a good time."

But practicalities won't dampen their enthusiasm.

The lads rush back to book their outdoor venue.

This time, they've borrowed a mate's car, complete with trailer.

It's more suitable for country pursuits.

It's just down there, you missed it.

But not for these two townies.

Particularly when it comes to reversing.

I can't stop the road, can I? I don't have authority to do that.

Got it.

Back on track, the lads finally arrive at the Forestry Centre.

So, how much will Ritesh's al fresco fantasy set him back?

If we look at everything for 220 guests would be £4,797. That's for everything.

-OK.

-Time to down-scale the dream.

-We could maybe give the dance floor a miss.

-Yeah, forget the dance floor.

-Forget the dance floor. Carpets?

-Do we need carpet?

-No.

-Toilets, yes.

-We don't need toilets. It's all right, we don't need it.

You've brought it down by about £1,400.

How about if I say to you about £3,600?

-£3,600 in total?

-You're invited as well, Debbie.

-£3,600 will be fine.

Done. Thank you, brilliant.

The best meeting of my life!

For a bargain £3,600, Ritesh has got himself an empty tent and a field.

A fact that hasn't escaped his best man.

If it does rain and people are outside dancing or whatever, what can you suggest?

Umbrellas.

Ritesh is taking an almighty risk.

I've been thinking about the rain.

I've seen this big thunderstorm in the middle of my wedding.

She says, "I do." Bang!

It just chucks it down.

Then if it comes up all sunny, yeah, me and Bav and Nimesh, we become wedding planners.

I hope there's not a whole wedding outside.

Because, if there is, then, you know,

look at today. Look at yesterday and look at the day.

It is 50-50 on, like, brilliance or just complete disaster.

This could be the reason why I end up hating him.

But if does all go warm and it's sunny...

I missed the bloody cup. Yeah, it'll be fine.

RAIN BATTERS CAR ROOF

Come rain or shine, Ritesh will have mouths to feed. Lots of them.

If they can do a mobile catering unit outside, just like quick chip food and stuff like that.

They'll be doing food for about 100, 150 people maximum.

-That'll be a big bite out of his budget.

-If you want a three-tier cake, they're quite expensive.

But no-one even eats cake. But people eat chips.

-Chips on a wedding day?

-I'd like to factor it in.

If you can factor it in, I'd got for that that ahead of the other things that we've got.

You'd rather have the chips than the decor?

Yeah.

Food's at the forefront of everyone's mind.

-When it's bubbling, then you put in onion.

-OK.

Sheena's mum wants her to be fully prepared for married life.

A lady has to cook and serve with husband.

Mum, I go to work.

When I got married, you know,

when I come home, then I had to cook.

Mum, we eat together. We're not like you.

Thank God you are engaged now.

Because if we go somebody's house and you bring Ricky, I don't feel comfortable.

Yeah, but why not?

It's better if you are officially engaged.

-So you can tell everybody, "My daughter's engaged?"

-Yes.

-Officially.

It's day five. Although the boys have only

booked a tent in a field, success seems to be going to their heads.

-We're on a roll, in't we? We can't go wrong.

-I think we're superstars for the day.

Superstars need alter egos to match.

We have to give ourselves proper big boy names. Like a star name.

You know, like Jamie Fox and Tom Cruise.

Stuff like that. So I can be like...

-"Kutz". You can be Kutz.

-Kutz.

-I'll be "Flex".

-Kutz and Flex?

-Yeah!

That's the one!

-So, with the crucial decisions made...

-I'm Kutz, this is Flex.

..it's down to business.

And every reception needs a caterer.

£1,300, plus £420.

£1,720.

-£1,720? If I can get you waiters at a cheaper price, would you be happy with that?

-Yeah.

Thank you very much. We'll be in touch later on.

-That's amazing. Thank you.

-Cheers.

-Bye.

The taste of success.

THEY LAUGH

They've knocked 25% off the asking price.

Yes!

There's no messing with these bad boys.

High five, Flex!

Nice one, Kutz.

THEY CHUCKLE

Spending time with her mum has reminded Sheena how important tradition is to her parents.

Usually, the eldest one gets married, then the middle one, then the younger one.

Because my younger sister got married last year as well, I think they felt like I needed to get married.

Just to make sure there's nothing wrong with me!

She hopes that trusting Ritesh now will lead to equality in their marriage.

I think it's an opportunity for me to let go

and put him in the driving seat.

Ritesh may be in the driving seat, but it's an uphill journey.

His venue comes with absolutely nothing.

Nothing to eat, nothing to drink, nothing to sit on or at and nothing to eat off or with.

So, he and cousin Nimesh head off to book crockery and table linen.

-If you get stuck on what to say, just stay quiet.

-Yeah, of course.

OK. That's our table.

Knife, fork. Wine glasses.

£6.30 each, plus VAT for your cloths.

That's a massive one, to be fair. The tablecloths.

Is there nothing you can... £6.30, knock it down to a fiver?

-Can't come down on them.

-Oh, Brenda, come on.

We're washing them for you. People would charge a washing service.

£6.30 a tablecloth?!

That's a joke, innit?

I wouldn't pay £6.30 for a tablecloth ever in my whole life.

-No, you wouldn't.

-It's a tablecloth!

£6.30, I want you to lie on that table and let me eat the food off your body.

I wonder what his guests would make of that!

Still, there is no time to waste.

Ritesh has to see a man about a horse.

He and Bav head deep into the countryside.

Beautiful. Look at the scenery.

-It's a

-BLEEP!

-I've been to a lot of countrysides. People do live through these fields.

-No-one... Look at it!

Once again, the city boys are in unfamiliar territory.

We're in the middle of the field.

I'm not too sure which way to go round. Have you got a secret path?

I don't mind looking at the countryside, but I wouldn't want to live in it.

-A lot of people want to live in the countryside.

-Some people use toilet roll to wipe their ass,

-and some people use water out of a bottle.

-Yeah.

You're the bottle man and and I'm the toilet paper man.

I'm Ricky. I'm Corin and this is Harry. Wow!

Beautiful.

-Do you want to have a sit in it?

-Yeah.

-It's quite nice.

-As you know, we're on a very, very strict budget.

We've still got to get the bride's dress.

We went for the horse before the dress.

Right. The important bits!

Our budget, usually, is £550 for a wedding.

-We budgeted around £200, didn't we?

-400 quid's got to be the limit.

I'm sold on it, to be honest with you. 400 quid. Bargain.

That's another deal done and another box ticked.

See you, Harry.

But the feel-good factor doesn't last.

-500 yards, sharp left.

-Sharp left.

-At the end of the road, turn left.

-You've put the same details in we just came from. Look.

I didn't. I put an LE...

I put "LE5" in, Ritesh.

I don't think I need to sort my head out, you need to.

Are we missing Sheena, is that what it is?

-Eh?

-What did you do last night?

You were meant to come round to my house and

found out you were watching Ghost with your box of Kleenex last night.

I weren't missing anyone, I weren't doing anything.

-I sat in and watched a film.

-Watching Ghost!

It's a good film, innit?

It's your sensitive side, is it?

You can honest, just say so.

-Don't worry about it.

-I'm missing a lot of things.

Oh, yeah, you don't have to tell me that!

I'm missing peace and quiet.

# I need your love... #

10 days in and Ritesh still doesn't have a wedding dress, rings, flowers or any invitations.

Still, at least he's agreed a price for the tablecloths and crockery.

-Excellent.

-'OK, then.'

Brenda, you're a star.

Deal done at 230 quid.

That's pretty much done for today, I think.

I need to go to the loo.

I'll take that, cos it's a number two.

Oh, thanks for that(!)

Across town, Sheena's wondering if the wedding will ever actually happen

and confides in best mate Jas.

Still no news on the date.

-My God.

-He hasn't even sent any invites out.

-That's Ricky!

No, but you would think, you know, the first thing you would do is sort the date and venue out.

At the moment, I don't know anything about what I'm wearing.

-Nothing.

-Jewellery, hair.

-Nothing. It doesn't even feel like I'm getting married.

It'll be memorable whichever way it goes, that's the thing.

-Either it'll be hideous...

-But I don't want people to remember my wedding just because it was a joke!

Ritesh has certainly made some interesting choices so far.

But he's finally made it to the printers and he's having another brainwave.

-You know what I'm thinking? Can you do this? Can you make bags?

-Yeah?

Like, could you make, like, a crisp packet?

No.

Which is the one that you can get done the fastest?

I can do this one.

Yeah, how much will that cost me?

-£78.

-I can't afford that. I want to spend £60 on invites, what can you do for me?

If you go for this size, £65.

-£30.

-No.

-Come on!

£40, it's a one-off special deal.

It's a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity right now, you've got here.

It's £40, that's it. Come on.

-Look, there's a picture of God here.

-No, sorry.

-Last price, then we have to go.

-This is it.

-This is it, look,

-Yeah.

-OK?

At £45, the printer's a broken man.

I feel a bit cheeky, bringing the Almighty into...

I'm sure God will be OK for one day.

Nice one, Bav.

A quick prayer might help when it comes to making arrangements for Sheena's hair.

This bride's pretty particular about how she looks.

OK. So, what are we doing with your hair on the day?

I want it with quite a lot of volume.

But quite straight. But not too curly at the ends, but a bit flicked out.

I can't believe you're letting him choose your dress, choose your hairdresser for you.

-How fussy you are!

-I'm not fussy!

You make our life hell when you come in here!

I know. I just like it my way.

Shame it's not going to be your way, love.

Stop putting your fingers through it, it looks nice.

-I know.

-It's lovely.

-Stop making me out to be a demon, cos I'm not.

Do you know, if I want, I could put it half up later.

-You're ruining it now.

-I'm just saying, throughout the night.

-If you get hot?

Yeah, that's what I sometimes do.

I know what Hindi means now. How can you let someone else pick everything for you if you're so fussy?

With the wedding only 10 days away, you'd think that Ritesh would be dress shopping.

We've come to get a wedding suit.

But not this groom.

Yeah, that's cool.

The main man is sorted but his sidekick's harder to please.

Because he's wearing cream, I don't think that me and the ushers should wear cream.

They've got a grey three-piece suit.

Have you got any other colours in besides the grey?

-We've got black.

-OK.

-What else have we got?

A very dark grey.

I think it's going to have to be a kind of light grey, to be honest.

Wow, that looks good.

It just looks like a normal suit.

So what we need to do is incorporate it.

If we could have the pink shirt and pinstripes, that will work. And the dark grey.

Or, like, more of a silk material kind of thing.

Fashion diva, isn't he?

-What do you think, Bav?

-Going to change the shirt.

-Yeah.

-Better? Prefer that?

-Yeah.

£670, that brings it down to.

-Gives you a bit of a discount.

-Do it to £650?

As it's a very special one-off, I don't normally do that. OK.

-£650.

-Thank you very much.

Another bargain, and they've still got nearly half their budget left.

-We got another deal.

-Yeah.

-Let's roll.

That way, yeah.

You seemed like a diva before, eh?

Sheena will have no part in planning this wedding, but it won't stop her dreaming.

She's hoping her married sisters can help her pick out a dress.

-I don't want white.

-Would you wear any other colour but cream?

-Like, pastel pink?

-No.

-Would you wear a crown?

-No.

-Have you got to choose your shoes? You've got to get your feet into them.

-Look how nice they are.

Shut up, Neena. We're not here to crucify me. It's my wedding day!

Someone should remind Ritesh.

The wedding's just over a week away and the boys are finally on the hunt for her dress.

-You're never going to wear it again, are you?

-No.

No point spending millions on it and blowing the budget cos then we'll lose out on other things.

It's worth spending a bit of money on it.

-We'll see. Let's get inside and we'll have a look.

-Yeah.

That's really nice.

-It's not bad, is it?

-No.

It's got that Princess Diana thing to it.

She probably could have...

She did a lot of work for charity.

-She did.

-She might have brought her dress here.

-We might get Princess Diana's...

-It's wishful thinking if it ends up Leicester, put it that way.

Blissfully unaware that her groom is looking at Princess Diana rip-offs

in a charity shop, Sheena's setting her sights rather higher.

Let's have a look that one.

-That is lovely, actually.

-I think that would really suit you.

Ricky's never going to pick a dress like that.

What's it smell like?

-That bit! The armpits!

-It smells new.

-Does it?

Yeah. She'll never know, honest.

-But Sheena knows exactly what she wants, and it's nearly a grand.

-This is silk.

-Oh, yeah.

I really do like that cos the stripes go across there and it makes you look a bit bigger up top, doesn't it?

-I wouldn't get really excited. He's not buying this dress.

-What about that for Neena and Pooja?

There's stains on it.

Come on, open your eyes, son.

Are you seriously...?

No, don't be silly.

I'm only laughing cos you are.

I'm deadly serious about it.

WOMEN GASP

Isn't that gorgeous?

Da-a da-da.

I think she can see herself in this one.

I think it's a perfect size.

And there's only one in the whole shop.

-BOTH:

-Ricky's not going to choose it.

-RICKY SIGHS HEAVILY

-Did you have a look in bridal magazines?

No, I just thumbed the Thomson Local, didn't I?

This is absolutely stunning. I love it.

Are you feeling a bit emotional?

No.

I just want it.

-Oh, dear.

-Let's get this over and done with.

We're doing some... wedding dress shopping.

-Right.

-We just need to get this over with quite quickly.

OK. This is a plainer one without the detail on the top.

Right.

This is completely plain.

-Which one are you liking at the moment?

-That one.

That's what I was thinking.

What we can do for her, if you'd like it either

side of the chiffon, you can sort of create your own design for her.

More on this side rather than the right-hand leg. She's right...

She's left-footed, actually, isn't she? She walks with her left foot.

Can you try it on?

-No.

-SHOP OWNER LAUGHS

You need someone to walk with it on.

I'm not putting on a wedding dress, no. Let's go on that in the street. I'll ask some girl.

-How tall is Sheena, did you say?

-About that high.

I used to have a pair of nunchakus when I was a kid, and it had two red handle things on it.

You noticed the red, but then when you looked at it, the chain in the middle was made out of silver.

You want to notice the bride and then look at everything else separately.

-Yeah.

-Perfect.

At least she knows what he's on about.

Hey, Rick. This is Karen.

Hi. You all right?

Here we go.

Could you stand over there and just walk this way?

-It's a little bit too long for her.

-OK.

The groom's come over all Gok Wan.

Drop the chiffon here. We'll put it on the side bits and the front as well.

Drop the pattern down from there.

Put one across there and one across there.

One there and there. Six bits of chiffon with two bits of embroidery down the side.

-Just two motifs on each one.

-Yeah, that'll be beautiful.

Yeah, cool. I'm happy with that.

-All right, headgear.

-I wouldn't mess with Sheena's hair if I were you.

I'd go with just a tiara.

It's a risk this groom's prepared to take.

My budget's between £350 and £400.

-I could bring it down to maybe £500.

-Could you put in anything extra with it, like shoes and a tiara?

Yeah, if you do it for £500, I'll give you the shoes and the tiara.

Wicked. Do I have to pick shoes or will you pick them for me?

-Yes.

-Yeah. Thank you so much.

-Job done.

-Click your heels.

But not in Sheena's world.

I want two dresses.

The inner child steps out.

Because you're only going to get married once, so why not?

Can I just have a look at this one, please?

Princess Sheena wants to wear a sari for the reception.

I just walk in like this.

-And when you dance, you can have it up.

-Hello. SHEENA LAUGHS

-Is it theatrical enough for you?

-Yeah, it's lovely.

Her fantasy budget would allow for two frocks.

If I was a guy, I wouldn't go on my stag so I could give my bride the best...

You think he shouldn't go on a stag he should spend £1,000 on a dress for you?

Yeah. Because it's our day.

-And he can go out with the lads any time.

-That's not really "our", is it?

Right now, the stag party's the furthest thing from Ritesh's mind.

He's just had bad news.

-Have you seen the weather forecast for your big day?

-Oh, no!

-Oh, no!

-Heavy rain and wind.

BLEEP!

One week to go, and Sheena's getting ready for her hen do.

I might as well go and enjoy tonight

with all my girls

and have a little bit of a party.

And then I'll start worrying about everything again tomorrow morning.

Ritesh is worried right now.

He's got a foot infection and he's threatening to pull out of his stag.

Best man Bav's not having it and drags him to the doctor's.

Are you going to be OK? Aww. Bless.

If this happened to you, you would have started crying by now.

-Sore?

-Yeah.

This is called cellulitis.

It's infected.

Stag night is tomorrow night?

Yeah. Shall I cancel it?

No, it should be OK. We'll have to clean this up tomorrow properly.

-That should do the trick.

-Excellent.

Thank God. I thought you were trying to bottle it.

-Jesus.

-Yeah, thank God for that.

Yeah, thank God, Ritesh. Plonker.

INDIAN MUSIC PLAYS

Oblivious to her man's near-death experience, Sheena's getting into the swing of her hen night.

I'd like to thank you all, all my hens, for coming out tonight.

THEY CHEER

MUSIC: "Kiss, Kiss" by Tarkan

MUSIC: "Circus" by Britney Spears

TV PLAYS

MUSIC: "Single Ladies" by Beyonce

It's the morning of the stag do and the invalid has been to A&E to fix his foot.

Three injections went in, pow, into my feet.

I nearly passed out and that.

I felt dead faint, but I managed to stay on and that.

Can't feel a thing. It's brilliant.

My whole foot's numb. I could do anything with it.

We've have got a stag to go to now.

Ready. Quite excited now, actually.

MUSIC: "I'm Not Alone" by Calvin Harris

THEY ALL CHEER

You've got to wear a sari.

THEY CHEER

There's a coach.

Roll in, lads.

-Your carriage awaits.

-Let's do it.

Broom, broom, broom!

MUSIC: "Shake It" by Metro Station

ALL: Stag! Stag! Stag! Stag!

ALL: Stag! Stag! Stag! Stag! Stag! Stag!

ALL: Stag! Stag! Stag! Stag! Stag!

Her hen night is Carry On Camping

and a man's/boy's thing night out is blood sport.

THEY CHANT: Stag!

MUSIC: "Be The One" by Jack Penate

Ever since the engagement, Sheena's family haven't stopped celebrating.

But for a bride, it's hard to muster any enthusiasm when you're completely in the dark.

I'm feeling just like really tired about not knowing.

Tired about just going along with things.

I'm losing the excitement, which I don't want. I think that's cos it is wearing me down.

Mentally, it's like, "Oh, God, I'm on this treadmill."

I'm not able to get off and I don't know where I'm going. That's exactly how it feels.

Ritesh is also in a reflective mood.

You only meet like someone like that once in your lifetime, don't you?

It took me 29 years to meet her. 28 years.

I think I was 29, don't know.

So, yeah, it took me a long time to meet her. You just know, don't you, I guess, when you're with someone?

I'm only going to get married once. And that's why I think...

Well, that's why I know, really, that she is the right person for me.

Over the next few days, Ritesh spends two-and-a-half grand on rings...

Yeah, that should do me.

-..flowers...

-We're looking for a little pink posy for the bride.

-..a cake...

-Nice ice cream.

..coaches for his 220 guests,

a car for his bride...

-Which car?

-'The white one.'

-Oh, you're a star. Yeah, go on then.

-..and decorations for the marquee.

-I'll fill the confetti bombs halfway, but not full.

-OK, brilliant.

But he still needs bridesmaid dresses for Sheena's sisters.

I'm looking for bridal dresses.

-The colour scheme is ivory.

-Yep.

-Got like a pink colour scheme with it as well.

-OK.

-Is that a dress?

-That is the dress.

-That's like a top dress.

-No, no, no, it's a bandeau dress.

-That's really nice, yeah.

-Yeah?

Yeah, that will be...two of them. I thought that was a skirt!

It's a dress!

Neena and Pooja arrive to try on their skirts.

-I mean, dresses.

-Hello!

-BOTH: Hello.

-Have you got them dresses?

-Yeah!

That's nice, isn't it? Oh, they're gorgeous!

-What do you think? Do you like it?

-Yeah, I do, actually.

In the nick of time, they remember whose side they're meant to be on.

Just wondered that, if she was having a white dress, like we're wearing quite an English dress,

then if we change into a sari in the evening, would she feel like she kind of needs to more...?

-Shall we leave that?

-Yeah, leave it in my head.

-You take care.

-Think about it, think about it a lot.

-See you.

-Bye.

-SHE SIGHS HEAVILY

As long as I stick with what I'm happy with, it won't go wrong.

If anything, I'll be happy.

The wedding's in three days, but Sheena's still in the dark.

Her mum's throwing her a mehndi night, the Indian equivalent of a hen party,

where the bride-to-be is prepared for married life.

But without an invite to her own wedding, this bride is in no mood to celebrate.

I've not heard anything at all.

I don't know if we've got a wedding date. Ricky, what are you doing?

You know, you should have let me know by now.

It's hard to just get excited at the minute. I'm not feeling very excited at the minute.

I just want to get on with it, I just want to have my wedding day.

I just want to live happily ever after. KNOCK ON DOOR

Come in.

-Hi.

-I'm coming down.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah.

-Who else is downstairs?

-Everyone's here, that's what I'm saying, so you ought to get a move on.

Well, no, they can wait. I'm sorry.

It's my... It's up to me, isn't it?

I've been doing things at the house, haven't I?

It's going to be the longest hairdo in history.

-Yeah, and it doesn't look any different every time I do it.

-Can you not let go of this?

-Is that what you're saying?

-No!

-Can I let go?

-No!

Finally, she's ready to greet her guests...

Hello, everybody!

..and prepare for her new role as a married woman.

The henna ritual symbolises the strength of love in a marriage.

The darker the paint dries, the stronger the love.

Look, I've got an R in my hand. Ricky has to find the R in my hand.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-The bearer with gifts.

-Oh, God. You're going to make me cry.

I am, cos I'm scared about Ricky.

Oh, my God! Look at that picture!

He is...!

-Oh, my God!

-Why?

-That's the worst picture he could ever have used!

-I think that's really cool.

Are you all right? You've got a date now, and you've got a time.

-Oh, my God!

-Are you going to wet yourself?

Are you all right? Ah!

I'm so happy. I've got a date!

Put it there!

-Oh, my God!

-OK, he's real now. There's no turning back now.

He's cool. No, I can't wait. I can't wait to get married.

With the invites delivered, the boys indulge in a bit of back-slapping.

Our names are on this now, so our reputation is at stake here.

-Yeah, this is like, do you remember when Predator 1 first came out?

-Yeah.

And it was like brand new footage, it was a brand-new concept. It just like blew the whole world away.

Well, we know the day is going to be brilliant, it's going to be fantastic, hey? So...

The only doubt is the old weather thing, but even then...

Nah, where there's a Plan A, there's a Plan B.

What it is, I'm going to have a little word with the big man later.

-Who, Wayne? What, God, you mean?

-Yeah!

OK!

And Bav's off on one again.

What I've decided is, you'll be busy with Sheena, so I've got to correspond with him.

Two walkie-talkies, I'm Delta One, he'll be Delta Two.

Sheena will be known as the Eagle.

-And you'll be known as Ritzy A. Right?

-Yes.

-So what will happen is, like, I'm going to tell Delta Two,

-aka Nimesh...

-Can't I be Flex? But with the E on the end, like Flex-E.

It's not a walkie-talkie name. It's got to be proper, innit?

Eagle, Delta, A-Delta, you know... Two and all that?

-So we're going to be known as the A-Team on the day.

-Yeah.

-You know?

-We've got no worries at all now!

-I'm hoping at the end of it,

right, the whole event finishes, is a roaring success,

and I'll be like, "I love it when a plan comes together!"

THEY LAUGH

This is your cue to put A-Team music on in the background!

THEME TUNE TO "THE A-TEAM" PLAYS, ACCOMPANIED BY DHOL MUSIC

Time for a final budget check before the lads hit the shops to make their tent in a field look like Bollywood.

-So, how much have you got?

-Right, basically, we're down to 436 quid.

The target for today, lads, is negotiate, negotiate, negotiate.

We'll try and get some things free.

Mannequins, if we can.

Man-e-what?

-You know what I mean.

-OK, fair enough, go on.

-Plonker!

Plonker, innit?

They head to a sari shop.

But not for Sheena's second dress.

Imagine that draped across your tables and up and down the pillars.

Plus, if you want to go for two colours... What's that, green...?

-£126.

-Call it £120?

I'll do it for £125. And that's...

-That's a quid!

-That's more than... That's more than we ever do.

They must be losing their touch!

And this DIY wedding still needs more props.

-Wow, that's awesome!

-That's awesome, yeah.

-So, these are actually, erm...

They've got like water pumps inside them, and they look nice to create an entrance.

You can't have a top table for bride and groom and not have thrones.

Yeah, that's true. Have you got cushions?

-Are you going to scatter them around or...?

-No, there's a chill-out area.

Yeah, we're having a chill-out area, yeah.

Let's go for them.

-That's amazing, that's proper amazing.

-Quality, that is, yeah.

-Thank you for that.

-No problem.

-We're done.

-All done.

It's the day before the wedding, and Ritesh has been tallying up his costs.

We did a rough budget yesterday and we weren't too sure how much money we had left.

But we worked it out, and I've got down to...

£11,881 spent, which leaves me with £119.

All I've got left to do is get the soft drinks.

And, erm, that's it. That's absolutely everything in.

It's a very big day for Sheena.

With the wedding in just 24 hours, she's finally going

to see the dress that Ritesh has so painstakingly designed for her.

-Are you all right?

-My heart's beating, I can feel it in me.

-We're going in.

-Just try not to say you hate the dress.

-D'you want to go and try it on or...?

-Yeah.

-Yeah? You want to go straight in?

-Go for it, yeah.

She had a tiara on.

Oh, God, no! He's bought me a bloody tiara!

Oh!

I'm not wearing a tiara.

-Sshh!

-Oh, my God!

Oh, wow!

OK, are you ready to look?

Oh, that's lovely.

-It's gorgeous.

-It is lovely. I love the dress.

-Did he do quite well?

-Yeah, he did.

He did very well!

I'm not wearing a tiara. I'm not wearing this! THEY LAUGH

It's not funny, I'm not joking.

See, you can just have it so you don't see it, like that.

-Oh, God, no, I don't like it.

-Can I just take it off one minute?

-Yeah, sure.

-I'm going to put it back, and then see what we can do.

-Why would he chose a tiara, he knows I don't...?!

-Sshh. I thought that looked really...

Look straight and put your hands down.

-Have you got any grips between you?

-I've got one hairpin. Just...

It's Princess-y, isn't it?

It's lovely. Makes you...

-Will you be able to take it in a bit?

-Erm, we can do some alterations.

-Someone does have to ring Ricky.

-OK.

So you just have to work out where you're going to wear your tiara.

Hello, Ricky.

Hiya.

-We've just tried to dress on.

-'Yeah.'

-It's a bit big.

-Is it? OK.

-So it needs to be altered, we just need to get authorisation from you to alter it,

-cos you obviously have to pay for the alteration.

-What?!

No, no, she can't. I've got no money left.

But you have to, cos it's just kind of falling off.

Can't she pin it or nothing?

No, you can't pin it, it needs to be altered.

We've got no budget left. Can't you take her to McDonald's, fill her out a bit?

I don't think her boobs are going to grow with a Maccy D's.

You know what you can do, chicken fillets. I've seen it on TV.

Can he understand, the dress is big... And we need to alter it.

A whole size?

What you could do is, you could return the tiara and get the alteration done.

Which would cover you, wouldn't it?

Yeah.

SHE SCREAMS WITH JOY

Return that tiara, then.

-If only it were that simple.

-Hello?

Hiya.

Erm, the only problem with that is, cos we did such a good deal and everything with the dress,

-that doesn't cover all of the alterations.

-OK. How much am I left owing?

-Half.

Half?!

-It's still going to be £50, yep.

-OK, let's do it, 50 quid.

-Bye.

-'Bye.'

-OK.

That's blown my budget, hasn't it? Jesus!

-I can now pin it for you.

-We've done a deal.

-So you're happy? No tiara!

-Really happy.

I always get my way!

-Ricky's quite, erm, quite chilled.

-He's like Blu-tack, I can mould him.

Oh, my God! Everything's so perfect!

I'm going to have to go with one drink across the board.

And if anyone ever asks why, you know, there wasn't any other

soft drinks, I'll just have to say, "Well, look, Sheena's dress fits really nice. That's why."

I'm surprised because it's so me.

And I love it, and I love the detail.

Like that bit there. Cos I thought he'd go extreme.

I thought he'd go really plain, and really simple. Or big meringue.

And is none of the two, it's beautiful.

I feel like a bride, I feel like a wife.

Over at the venue, Bav and Nimesh have been left in charge of set dressing.

And the pressure's getting to them.

-It's too short, just leave it now.

-It's you!

It's me, I said leave it. You're the plonker.

I'm not even going to say anything!

Watch the tables.

One more time, go on.

Watch the linen as well.

Pull it.

-No, pull it.

-I don't want you pulling it. Come on, stop messing about.

-Pull the ladder, and I'll do it!

-All right, calm down, everybody!

Get down here, and do it. Come on.

Good!

VAN HORN TOOTS

-He's five hours late, but Ritesh is back in charge.

-The top table is there...

And it was tables along, across...

-Yeah.

-Up to about here.

-To be honest with you...

We've been here since about, what...?

-10 o'clock.

-So what d'you want to do now then?

Move the tables in the middle.

Keep walking, keep walking.

Keep walking.

And stop.

See you, guys!

Last one in, first one out!

I can't believe you're doing that, leaving us to do all the hard work!

It's going to be brilliant, yeah. It's going to be a really good day.

Best day of my life, if I be honest with you, eh? Ever!

You can't top your wedding day, can you?

It just feels amazing. And at the moment, it's like there's lots of fireworks going off inside of me.

Erm, and it's really important, because this is just going to make us instead of just going out,

girlfriend and boyfriend or whatever,

it just gives us that togetherness, that we're one now.

And I feel more solid, I think, that, you know, I'm getting married and he's going to be my husband.

It's going to be the best thing I've ever done in my life.

It's for the rest of my life. Every time I'm going to wake up and look at Sheena's face, I'll just think,

-"You're the best thing that's ever happened in my life!"

-I think for my family as well,

it's like she's... You know, they can wash their hands of me.

But more than that, it's just that I've grown up as well, I think.

And now I'm going... to be somebody's wife now.

The wedding day has finally arrived and Ritesh is a very lucky boy. The weather's perfect.

Cheers, a job well done.

But all is not sunny at Sheena's.

The hair stylist has just arrived, with strict instructions.

It's got to be the way Ritesh wants it.

Oh, my God, really?

Oh, my God!

They're lovely, aren't they?

-Where's your walkie-talkie?

-Just here.

Go in the other room and put it on, see if it works.

Delta two, come in, over.

'Delta one, over.'

We have a code red situation.

-Like that?

-No, I don't want it all curled.

Not all of it in curls, just sections.

I'd rather have it straight.

Mum, will you call Neena?

Neena!

Oh, my God, you lot look lovely!

That looks lovely, doesn't it?

Don't cry, you're spoiling your make-up.

Sheena, you're spoiling your face.

Stop crying for one minute. I just want you to stop.

Can we just have a loose curl?

If it drops, we've got GHDs and we'll work it out.

Is that all right? Yeah?

Oh, dear.

-Here you go.

-You can stop that now, please.

Can you just not look in the mirror for a minute, and let's have a go with the hair?

But Sheena's waited three weeks for this day,

and what Ritesh wants, Ritesh gets.

-Sorry for being a nightmare.

-No, you're OK.

I haven't got my shoes on.

-Do you like it?

-Mmm, beautiful.

Oh, my God!

He did it proper vintage.

When Sheena comes in with that horse and cart, "bling de tha bling".

SHEENA GASPS Wow!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, my heart's beating.

GUESTS CHEER AND APPLAUD

My wife.

SHE SOBS

-Do you like it?

-It's beautiful. Thank you.

Do you take Sheena to be your lawful wedded wife?

Yeah.

Do you take Ritesh to be your lawful wedded husband?

Yes.

-Do you like it?

-It's gorgeous.

Ritesh, I give you this wedding ring...

-Ritesh, I give you this wedding ring...

-As a symbol of our marriage.

As a symbol of our marriage.

I promise to care for you...

I promise to care for you...

To love and honour you.

I just feel overwhelmed.

It's all right, sorry, sorry.

It gives me great pleasure now to be able to pronounce you both

-as husband and wife.

-Thank you.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you so much.

I never, ever, ever in a million years thought my wedding was going to turn out like this.

It feels like we're in the Bahamas, it doesn't feel like we're in England.

It's so detached from anything I've ever been to.

He's just done perfect, and he looks...amazing.

I'm so loved up, I feel stupid!

-He pulled out the stops.

-Amazing, wasn't it? Amazing.

I could never have imagined him doing this.

When we walked in, I think we both were like, "Wow".

I just want to say everybody I love are here today, and that's what's important to us.

And this is like a magical dream come true, everything is.

Dinner is served!

We didn't expect anything like this.

We're just so shocked. Even Sheena, always she was talking and her dream came true.

I think it's a unique setting.

Everything completely different from everybody - venue, and the atmosphere and everything.

Beautiful.

Wow, he's done so well, I'm so proud of him.

-To see the smile on her face, that's it, it's enough.

-It's so romantic.

It's been absolutely fabulous. Everyone's happy, everyone's telling me how brilliant the venue is.

-God, thank God.

-He played it...

The weather's been on our side. It's been brilliant, we can't fault it.

I told you, Kutz and Flex Wedding Services Ltd. It's been perfect.

-ON PA:

-Sheena?

-Yeah?

-There's a big surprise for you.

Oh, God, not again!

Please can we have the blindfold?

Watch my hair!

MUSIC: "Dum Maro Dum"

Oh!

Oh, working this!

Oh, my God!

GUESTS LAUGH

CHEERING AND WHISTLING

I don't think I'd have done anything like this, but the way he's done it, nobody could top this.

It's just... Everything's perfect.

This is the best day of my life.

And I've got the best wife of my life, ever.

Proper chuffed, man, proper chuffed.

I've been really, like, "My way or the highway."

And now I'm just like, "You know what? It's your way all the way."

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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