Wayne and Leanne Don't Tell the Bride

Wayne and Leanne are mad about each other.

I love Wayne loads, absolutely loads.

He's the best person in the world, definitely.

There's not anyone else out there.

Leanne can't wait to get married and expects the fairy-tale wedding.

I've been dreaming about this since I was little,

being that princess with your Prince Charming.

But fairy tales aren't cheap and their two kids are a priority.

Since the recession, my hours at work have cut back, I'm earning less money.

Yeah, things aren't going great.

So, we are giving them £12,000 towards their big day, but there's one big catch.

Control freak Leanne has agreed, in the presence of a lawyer, to let Wayne organise the wedding alone.

You mustn't talk to each other, you mustn't text each other. You have to live apart completely.

And Leanne won't know a single thing about the wedding

until the big day in three weeks' time.

-I'm nervous now.

-Oh, you poor thing(!)

-Don't start being cocky and stuff.

-Well, it's fine.

-Stop.

Will football-loving Wayne score an own goal?

She's left me in charge, so... oh, well.

Can he get the bridesmaids on side?

I don't think they were too thrilled about the colour, but stuff 'em.

And will he remember whose day it really is?

Is that what my whole wedding's going to be,

jokes and just stupid little things?

Can this man give this woman a day to remember?

Shoes.

I'm worried it will all go wrong. I don't want to do this any more.

Today, Leanne is moving out of the home she shares with Wayne and taking their two boys,

one-year-old Kyle and three-year-old Harvey, with her.

Do not go out drinking with the lads all the time.

It's not an excuse for a piss-up for three weeks.

-You've got me all wrong.

-The main party is the wedding.

-That's a bit harsh.

-No.

In the three years they've been together,

Leanne has always been the boss.

-I would say I wear the trousers in the relationship.

-Yeah, I have to go along with that.

-Look at me. What one do you want to wear?

-Either one.

-Just pick one.

-If I make decisions, they're wrong.

-Yeah.

-I make decisions but they're wrong.

-Just pick.

-That one.

-No, that one, not that one.

Wayne has never even dared buy Leanne a present.

At Christmas I buy my own presents, I wrap 'em and then I open 'em myself.

-But I give you the money to do all that.

-You do give me the money.

Growing up, Wayne was a real mummy's boy.

Wayne was definitely mother-coddled. Mum always done things for him.

Even changing oil on the car, mum would say,

"Your father will do that for you, you can't do that yourself."

His mum even helped Wayne to propose.

I made a few phone calls with him, set up, made reservations.

-I didn't know that.

-Yeah.

-Who did... Did he do rose petals on the bed?

-Oh, yeah.

Did he do that, or did you do that?

We both did it, I helped him.

Already like a daughter to me.

Now, mum is banned from

helping to organise the wedding, so it's up to Wayne to satisfy Leanne's high expectations.

-There's another suitcase at the top of the stairs.

-Is that a joke?

That has to be a joke.

I would never have enough money for my wedding.

I would be talking in the region £250,000, easy.

I think it's completely impossible to pull off Leanne's perfect wedding.

Her head's in the clouds.

I am hard to please, very hard to please.

Always been and I always will.

Something everyone seems to agree on.

Leanne's very high maintenance, I would say.

Very, very.

I wouldn't like to organise Leanne's wedding, definitely not.

It's too...unachievable.

And if he fails to achieve the unachievable, there'll be nowhere for Wayne to hide.

If she doesn't like it, she'll walk down the aisle with a face like a slapped arse and she'll tell me.

The time has come for Leanne and Wayne to say their goodbyes.

-Are you going to miss me?

-Mmm.

-Love me?

-Course I do.

-Trust me?

-No.

For the next three weeks, Leanne's wedding and Wayne's life hang in the balance.

Imagine I've got your wedding wrong.

The next time they'll see each other will be at the altar.

Luckily, Mum's there to comfort her little boy.

Come on, Mum, let's go.

Leanne is moving back in with her own mum and dad.

Hello!

Letting Wayne organise the wedding is stressful enough, but living back home won't make it any easier.

And I thought maybe put the travel cot there.

-Yeah.

-And if maybe Harvey can have his little bed down there or share the bed with us, it's up to you.

There's lack of space here, really. We are all on top of each other, and now I've moved back.

I've got two children and there's only two bedrooms. So, it's going to be tough.

Stay with Nanny, stay here for a little while?

Yeah.

Maybe as weeks go on and she doesn't see Wayne,

as it dawns on her what's about to happen, she's going to get quite stressed.

It's going to be mayhem for the next three weeks.

BOTH LAUGH

Wayne's best man is his cousin, Nigel.

All right, sexy! How's it going?

-How's it going, mate?

-Straight away, they agree on a course of action.

-Pubbing it? First point of call, is that right?

-Definitely, mate.

You've got to make all the decisions. If you're saying pub, I'm quite happy to do that.

That's what echoing in my head - pub, pub, pub,

and I've got a little voice saying, "Don't go to the pub", but that's Leanne.

-Leanne who?

-Exactly, it's just a voice.

-Yeah.

Wayne's usher, Mills, joins them for a pint. The first big decision is where to get married.

I want to try, possibly, to get a church,

that's what I want to try first.

Wayne's not religious but he'll do whatever it takes to fulfil Leanne's dream.

I know that Leanne's nan was very religious

and it would mean something to her to get married in church.

-What church are you thinking?

-I don't know. You need to go...

-How many churches do you know?

Have you ever been to church?

Um... A couple of weddings,

a funeral and that's about... And school sort of things.

-No, you've not been to church.

-No, not generally. I'm not a religious person.

There's a church down the road by you. Go down there, knock on the vicar's door and have a chat.

Say, look, what's involved and could I get married in a church? Is it actually possible?

As the boys set off on their religious mission,

across town, Leanne and her mum are on a mission of their own.

It looks like a church, looks like somewhere you should get married.

Sort of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise wedding. Just grand and amazing.

That's what I want, something impressive and everyone goes, "Wow, do you remember their wedding?"

But a church wedding would also be a mark of respect

to Leanne's grandmother, who died five years ago.

I think I dream of a church wedding because I used to go to church with my nan when I was younger.

She was very religious, she went to church every Sunday.

I always imagined her being part of my wedding.

Because she's not here, it's really important for me to get married in a church.

I just feel closer to her. I can't imagine doing it any other way.

Leanne may not have a say in the wedding, but that's not going to stop her dreaming.

I'd have the choir, I'd have the bells being rung.

-The choir would be really nice up there.

-Lovely.

Yeah, big massive, grand wedding.

Everything very expensive and maybe a bit...

do you think unobtainable? Or...?

What does that mean?

-That you're not going to get it.

-Yeah.

What she could get is their local parish church,

although it's a bit less grand than St Mary's Redcliffe.

Bloody prison, barbed wire everywhere.

Oh, mate, I love it.

-Oh, yeah.

-I love it, mate.

You can laugh, Nigel, but unfortunately for Wayne,

if he wants a church wedding, time is not on his side.

-If you want to get married in a Church of England...

-Yes.

..there need to be banns called,

and they have to be called on three Sundays before the wedding.

-So, if you want to get married in three weeks' time, you've only got today.

-OK.

Then the banns could be called starting tomorrow.

Yeah.

I'm not quite sure what to do with that.

-Marriage in haste is not normally a good idea.

-Yeah.

-What do you want to do, church thing or not?

-Well,

it would be a nice wedding, but where would you have photos taken? Next to the barbed wire?

-If Leanne pulled up outside that, I think she'd just get out of the car and run.

-Yeah.

But obviously, if I commit to this, I've got to try and get a venue to fit around this.

It's a lot of pressure, definitely a lot of pressure.

Serious pressure.

Either they marry here or there'll be no church wedding for Leanne.

By the next morning, he's made up his mind.

Last night, I basically didn't get a lot of sleep,

just running things through my mind.

I wasn't really happy with the look of the church, from the outside.

The inside was OK but...it just didn't have that kind of...

look or feel I was going for, or I'd imagined I'd go for.

So, yeah, I kind of, just kind of crossed that one off the list.

But Wayne has no time to wallow.

With no church, he needs a venue that will wow his hard-to-please fiancee.

Civil wedding venue in Bristol.

The perfect wedding reception would be in a big castle-type building, maybe an old castle.

It would have to be very, very big with loads of countryside by the side of it for the good photos.

There would have to be a lot of candle lights around

with Swarovski crystals scattered all over the tables so they'd catch the light.

Luckily, Nigel has the perfect place in mind.

This could be the best venue you're going to look at, mate, telling you.

I think you may be wrong, but...

Wayne and Nigel are massive Bristol City fans.

Worship the ground!

If Wayne surprised me with a football stadium, I would be kind of devastated.

I wouldn't know what to say, to be honest, I'd be really upset.

I am seeing signs everywhere, Wedlock Stand, Williams Stand.

-Williams Stand, mate, it's a sign.

-That's it.

-Here we go.

A photo shoot next to the grounds, with you and the bride.

A nice picture of the best man and a few of the lads in there, that's always quite a nice shot.

-It's a secret. That's the bottom line, it would be amazing.

-Yeah.

She's left me in charge, so... oh, well.

Gary Johnson up there was the manager of Bristol City, as you know.

Got the trophies behind and everything as well.

As much as she might hate pulling up outside of a football stadium,

inside, she couldn't really complain.

I thought that was really good but I've got to think, at the same time,

is it something Leanne would accept?

Would she be able to look past the fact that she was in a football stadium?

Maybe a blindfold would help.

Just two days apart and Wayne has forgotten all about Leanne's lofty standards.

She, meanwhile, knows exactly where she'd like to celebrate her wedding.

Absolutely love it because it's got your castle, with your new, and it's old and new.

Cadbury House is one of Bristol's most exclusive wedding venues.

The photos would be amazing here.

I don't know, it just looks expensive in that grand like princessy type, really nice.

Luckily for Leanne, Wayne also has a castle on his list,

a stunning Tudor castle.

-That's a bit more like it, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-What would Leanne think of this?

-I think she'd like it.

It's a castle, isn't it? Definitely looks a bit more fairy tale.

Leanne's dream venue may be olde worlde

on the outside but it's got to be contemporary on the inside.

-It looks really modern, doesn't it? What I wanted. It's not old-fashioned.

-No.

I hate the medieval-type decor.

I cannot stand it. The big fireplaces. I like everything modern.

-Lovely, isn't it? Nice size.

-Yeah.

The spotlights are really nice as well. Yeah.

Spotlights are much better. I love spotlights.

-And look at the rocks in the background as well.

-That is nice. That is really nice.

The worst thing I could think of is Wayne's done the opposite to this. This is my dream wedding.

This is me.

Wayne's Tudor castle is contemporary, if you're Henry VIII.

And it's starting to give the boys the heebie-jeebies.

It's quite... Don't know, dungeon-like, isn't it?

There are weapons everywhere!

So, I'm worried if she doesn't like it, you know, she's going to attack me with one of those.

I think it's a bit old-fashioned. I mean, especially these guys.

I think that would freak her right out. It's freaking me out.

-I suppose it is quite fairy-tale.

-It is a fairy tale.

-But is it the fairy tale Leanne wants?

-Yeah, it's dungeon-like...

-It's dark and...

You can imagine people being chained up in here.

Couldn't you?

Next up, Grade II-listed Leigh Court,

built at the turn of the 19th century by Bristol's first recorded millionaire.

Look at the size of that. Look at those pillars. That's huge.

Right, for the ceremony, the Great Hall is licensed for ceremonies.

That's amazing, innit?

Look at that ceiling. Yeah, that's got wow factor.

Wayne is impressed, but will it live up to Leanne's expensive tastes?

Leanne will love it. I'm confident... Well, I'm never confident,

but in this instance, I'm confident. She'll love it.

At the same time, I don't want to get excited because I haven't talked money yet and this looks expensive.

-Doesn't it?

-Yeah.

-To be fair.

But with 12 grand burning a hole in his pocket and a demanding bride to keep happy, what's expensive?

The total is £5,593.

Well, I'd like to stop you there because I have decided this will be the venue, definitely.

Wayne spends nearly half his budget in one fell swoop,

on the ceremony, a sit-down meal for 70 and a party for 120 guests.

Very excited, I've just bagged myself a mansion, of sorts.

What I just saw was the fairy tale I've been looking to deliver so...

I've still got a lot of other things to tackle

but I think I'll sleep well tonight.

-Cake, say, about £500.

-Bride's dress, a grand.

Five and a half grand down, Wayne and Nigel finally decide to draw up a budget.

So, what do you want for entertainment, mate?

I like the idea of a swing band.

So, what do you reckon then, £400. Transport.

-Transport, I've no idea whatsoever.

-Say £300 just in case.

-Photographer, I've no bearing.

-Say £600.

Flowers, I haven't got the foggiest.

Having always relied on his mum or Leanne to handle finances, money isn't Wayne's strong point.

The downfall with my estimations is I've not really researched the prices or costs at all.

These numbers I'm plucking from thin air, so...

in my head, in my crazy little head, I'm doing well.

And the completely made-up grand total is...

£12,310.50.

-It's tight, very tight, but doable.

-Definitely doable, mate.

Doable if they can match real things to their invented prices.

The next day and the boys decide to tackle the biggest challenge of all.

-Hiya.

-Hello, are you all right?

-We'll be looking for a bride's dress, shockingly.

-Where is the bride?

I'm not allowed to see her.

Next time I see her, she will be wearing the dress that I choose.

-Right.

-There's a lot of pressure.

We need to make sure it's perfect, then.

It's probably the most daunting decision out of all the decisions I have to make.

If she's not happy with the dress, she will stamp her feet,

and she won't come to the wedding. So, yeah, it's quite an important decision, this one.

If he picks out a dress that I hate, I'm not getting married in it, full stop.

If I don't like it, I'm not wearing it.

Luckily, Nigel is on hand to help Wayne focus on what's important.

How do you picture Leanne?

She's got a big chest, so you might as well show it off.

I don't want them out, that's just, like, tacky.

In or out, either way, it won't be Leanne's decision

but that doesn't put her off visiting an exclusive bridal boutique

with her mum and maid of honour, Jenna.

I've come here because this place has got the princess, fairy-tale, sparkly dresses

that will make me feel like a princess on my special day.

But hard-to-please Leanne is seriously picky.

I don't like that. I don't like that, that's too much.

I don't like this. This is disgusting and I don't like the pattern.

I don't like the ruffles on the bottom. I don't like them.

I'm really hard to shop with and I won't compromise. If I don't like something, I don't like it.

That's just the way I am. I'm very fussy.

It's like a witch dress. They look like mermaids.

-It's always hard work with Leanne.

-Yeah.

Wayne really has his work cut out.

He's brave for taking this challenge on. It's a big challenge.

-He's brave for even marrying her.

-Yes, definitely even braver.

-Braver for marrying her.

-Yeah, he's got it for life now, that's it.

Can't get rid of her now.

But she might want to get rid of him if she saw how he's going about looking for her dream dress.

I feel really nervous.

-You look great,

-Thanks, mate.

-You look hot.

I tell you, you fit it well.

-I'm pretty speechless. That's all me.

-Is that all yours?

-There's no padding there. That's me.

I should get her exactly the same and when she turns up, I'll just go,

"One of us is going to have to change."

At the boutique, Princess Leanne has found a dress

that's spookily similar.

-That fits you perfect.

-That's really nice.

I absolutely love this dress.

Oh, Leanne.

That is beautiful.

Oh, no, I'm crying.

I'm going to cry now.

She may love the dress, but unfortunately for Leanne,

in this fairy tale, it's the prince who's in charge.

I'm gutted.

Aw!

I love this dress, I love it and I can't pick anything,

and everything he's going to pick will be totally different.

It's probably going to be something I hate.

Realising he risks Leanne's wrath,

Wayne is back in trousers and finally taking his task seriously.

-Silk dress.

-OK.

-It's British made.

Swarovski crystals on the top.

-She'd really like that. There's no pattern, it's just crystals. What is the price?

-£1,090.

-The dress has the crystals Princess Leanne loves.

-OK, yes.

But are they enough to satisfy her appetite for bling?

Desperate for a happy bride, Wayne digs deep into the wedding budget.

But he's still not sure it will be enough.

I don't know, I just kind of get this kind of pit of my stomach

kind of sickness that says, what if she doesn't like it, what if she doesn't want to wear it?

For Leanne, trying on dresses has made her realise just what she has given up.

I'm worried it will all go wrong.

I'm worried because I'm not going to have the perfect dress.

I'm not going to have the venue, there's going to be things I'm going to hate,

and I don't want to do this any more.

It's the start of the second week and Wayne so far has managed to find a venue and a dress.

There's loads of things I need to do. I haven't got bridesmaids dresses,

I haven't got a suit, I haven't got any transport, I haven't got a cake, I haven't got any flowers.

Once I get the ball rolling and I've secured a few things,

I'll feel a bit better about the situation.

At her mum's house, Leanne and Jenna are indulging themselves in wedding fantasies.

I want our wedding to be one of those weddings, not, "Oh, it's Leanne and Wayne's wedding,"

but, "Wow, do you remember their wedding?"

Since getting engaged last year,

Leanne has been compiling a scrapbook of her favourite ideas.

I love the butterfly theme, a little butterfly and crystals stuck in between the bouquets.

Wayne doesn't have a scrapbook or much of a plan.

With no idea what colour scheme to go for, he's turning to the florist for help.

Have you got any idea of what you want?

-Not a clue, unfortunately, I know nothing of flowers.

-OK.

-I've no idea about anything.

-OK. Vibrant colours, pastel colours?

I just want to avoid pink.

-You want to avoid pink.

-Because it's a bit girly for my liking.

-Right.

It's not a view Leanne shares.

This is the colour of the bridesmaid dresses I'd have.

I just like the pink, that's what I like. I like fuchsia pink with white.

She knows what she wants and is equally clear about what she doesn't want.

Orange would look horrible on me.

Orange can wash people out.

Yeah, because I'm so pale.

So, what are we looking at, sort of oranges?

Orange is not too bad.

-Yeah, I think orange sounded better.

-Oh, dear.

That will be my colour scheme sorted for the wedding, hopefully.

3 and 9, 39.

4 and 2, 42.

Leanne works part-time in a bingo hall and spends her day checking cards.

Checking full house on the pink page. 6434.

But with the wedding a week and a half away,

it's the cards she can't check that are worrying her now.

I'm worried now because no-one has had their invitations.

If they don't get sent out soon, they are not going to be able to turn up.

I would have liked my invitation as soon as he would have found somewhere.

That's obviously not the case, we're still waiting.

Don't panic, the invitations are in safe hands with best man Nigel going all arts and crafts.

I've gone like super girly, with a bit of red, nice red.

Someone has conveniently forgotten the orange colour scheme.

Isn't red Bristol City's colour?

-Scissors.

-We need scissors.

-I need scissors.

This is going to fail miserably, isn't it? Let's be fair.

You could just do a ribbon, a little bow.

You should have cut this.

Oh, look.

That's not bad. I'm quite impressed with that.

Classy, elegant, that says expensive, doesn't it?

-It does say expensive. It's nice.

-Hello.

-I need your help.

With the outside of the invitation designed, Wayne asks sister Michelle to print up the inside.

I've got a rough kind of mock-up,

which is like that, but...

Oh, my God, rough is the word.

Michelle's clearly not surprised by the state of the invite.

-Scribbly and rough.

-It's a draft.

Wedding invitation scribbled.

Oh, he's such a mummy's boy.

Mum did everything for him.

You're just jealous because you got no attention whatsoever.

-I didn't get any attention...

-Bitter and twisted.

-..because you had all the attention, Mummy's boy.

Why bark when you've got a dog?

That's horrible.

Charming, Wayne(!) Isn't it time you learnt to bark for yourself?

For the last ten days, Leanne has been struggling to adjust to the harsh reality

of losing control of her own wedding.

-I regret the way we're getting married.

-Yeah.

You don't realise until you're going through it what it entails,

and how much you'll worry about stuff.

I walk past things and I think, that would be gorgeous,

I'd have that at my wedding, and I'm thinking, do you know what? I'm not going have any of that.

It's not going to be how I always dreamed when I was a little girl.

I have had it planned in my head since I was about seven or eight.

And it's not going to be anything like that, it's going to be completely...different.

It might not be all bad.

It might not be all bad, but after last week's visit to the florist, it will be all orange.

Today, Wayne's buying dresses for bridesmaids Michelle and Jenna.

What will they make of his colour scheme?

You probably won't like it, but it's like that colour I'm going for.

-That will make me look horrible.

-Give it a try, you might change your mind.

-I'll try anything you want.

-Yeah.

-Oh, you're so accommodating, I thought this would be hard.

I didn't think they were too thrilled about the colour, but stuff 'em.

This is not a colour I would have envisaged. It's very unusual.

Isn't it?

I wouldn't have picked orange.

Yeah, they might not like the dresses, but... It sounds harsh, but I don't really care.

It's awful. I can't wear this.

It's quite unusual.

I can't say I've ever seen it worn as a bridesmaid's dress before, this colour.

Leanne will hate it, the colour. She'll absolutely hate the colour.

At least the professional approves.

It's a very modern colour, um, so I'm quite impressed.

And after the girls swap dresses,

even they start to change their minds.

-This one's better.

-Yes, it is.

-I do like this one a lot better.

I did prefer it without the straps

although I do think my boobs look better in this one.

They suit you, anyway, both of you, the colour.

Since when have you said anything complimentary?

-Yeah, Wayne.

-Well, I chose it...

-So you're complimenting yourself!

-So I'm complimenting myself, really.

So, we've got the £260 for your dresses

and then you are taking the two... children's ivory from the sale.

-I still don't think Leanne will really like them.

-Really?

This is the one colour, she said, "I hate that burnt orange colour."

She actually said that? Oh, wow.

With the bride and bridesmaids taken care of,

Wayne wants to get the boys suited and booted.

The next morning, he heads to the tailor

with his wedding posse, all nine of them.

Normally, Leanne picks out my clothes but today, I get to choose my own, so something different.

Do you think that will get the thumbs up?

Daddy, you look smart!

It gets the thumbs up from Harvey, but that's another big dent in the budget.

£882.

-That's £800-odds is...

-How much was your budget?

About £600, so over quite a lot.

It's nearly £300 more than he'd allowed for.

With a week to go, Wayne is running out of time and money.

Yeah, I'm just worried that I'm going to go over the budget

because I've got no money myself to contribute to this

and I know my mum and dad have no money to put into this.

He needs to make some cuts, but does he lose the elements

he thinks Leanne will want or the ones he wants himself?

I've always put my family first, I've always put Leanne and the kids first,

and that's why I'm finding it hard to cut things I know she'd like for things that I like.

The next morning, and Wayne's meeting up with sister Michelle to talk through his concerns.

Yeah, it's definitely been hard to forget about Leanne, try and put that voice to the back of my mind

and concentrate more on what I want because I've never really done that.

I always put them first, her first, and just think of what she would like,

but I can't make decisions with that kind of conflict going on in my mind.

Well, for the wedding, I suggest you forget about Leanne,

and just focus on what you like and what you want,

because that's all you can rely on.

If you try and second-guess Leanne, you could get it wrong.

At least if you choose something that you like, that's all you can do, really.

What she said does make a lot of sense. So, thinking

in terms of what I like and hoping that she'll appreciate it

because it's what I've created, that's a really valid point so I'm glad she's made that.

# And now the end is near... #

Buoyed by Michelle's advice, he decides to book a live band,

something he's been keen on from the start.

I can imagine that at the wedding, that would be really good.

For me, swing music is quite elegant, quite classic.

I'm phoning to enquire about a swing band being able to play on...

But a swing band is not what Leanne had in mind for her fairy-tale wedding.

I'm pretty certain that Leanne hates that type of music

so there might have to be some kind of compromise there

because she'll hate it, I know she'll hate it.

Wayne hopes to sugar-coat the pill by arranging to fulfil a promise he once made her.

I've got a rather odd query. Basically, my fiancee,

she wanted me to sing to her on our wedding day,

and I was just wondering was it at all possible for the band to learn the song

so that I may sing to her with them kind of playing in the background?

I'm a bit nervous myself.

I'm not great singing in public but it's something I promised to her,

so, if everything else goes belly up and she doesn't like it, this should be kind of the icing on the cake.

A nervous groom turns to right-hand man Nigel for support.

We'll put it higher because the band will be quite loud.

-Stand there so you're looking at everyone in the room.

-Yeah, but I...

-You've got to do it.

It's just the nerves, and this is just with me and Nigel.

If I'm feeling this nervous now with all those other people,

I'm just going to, yeah, probably going to pass out or something.

Just sing to me and Jo, sing to us. We've got the cat,

-we've got some random dog.

-That's my audience.

Cat and dog, sister.

I tell you what, let's even stick Tom Cruise in there.

Now, that WOULD impress Leanne!

Right, DJ Simmons is going to rock it.

# ..need to know, if you don't know... #

-I'm really nervous I can feel my voice is going.

-Come on.

Oh, this is hard.

Come on, sing it.

What will I do with my hands?

Whatever you want. # You're the only one for me. #

-Go on, sing it, go on.

-I can't, mate.

-Come on!

Stressful, I'm finding it really hard, it's unbelievable.

I'm dreading the day, just for this five minutes of singing.

Why? Why? Why do I need to sing to her?

Why can't she accept I've done this for three weeks,

-planned her wedding for her and that's not enough, I've got to

-BLEEP

-sing to her as well?

With five days until the wedding,

Leanne's hen night is about to begin.

For Leanne, it will be an indication of how wisely her groom has been spending his cash.

I don't think Wayne should have spent any money from the budget on the hen night.

I want the night to be cheap and nasty.

If it's cheap and nasty she wants...

Wayne's booked her a free room above a pub.

It's all right but I'm not staying there all night, that's a pub, not a club.

I'll do what Wayne says and spend some of my hen night in there. Some.

But he did splash out on a little present for his bride to be.

"I love my Wayners". Oh, bless!

I'm not wearing it. I'm not wearing it, sorry.

-Go on.

-No, I paid too much for my dress.

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

There they go indeed - Bristol must be holding its breath.

You're Wally Man!

Wally...

At the hen, Leanne has the no-frills evening she said she wanted, but she's not impressed.

There's not enough people around, it seems too empty.

I don't think this is Wayne's idea to come here.

If it was, I'm surprised and I'll be worried about the wedding.

Leanne calls time on Wayne's shoestring shindig.

We're going to party!

She's pleasing herself, but as usual, Wayne is happy to follow orders.

Down in one, down in one, down in one!

Leanne's dad, Nick, is under strict orders from his daughter.

I'm a bit worried, I've got to keep hold of him and keep him steady

but I don't think it's going to happen, I must admit.

Oh, well, Nigel seems like a responsible chap.

And after two and a half frustrating weeks apart,

Wayne can't wait to see his bride.

Just marrying Leanne, that's the only thought going through my mind and I can't wait.

It's only one week away and it's the only thing I'm looking forward to,

so that's what's getting me through tonight.

With Leanne in charge of the hen party, good times are back on the agenda.

As the stag draws to a boozy conclusion, the boys are full of self-congratulation.

It'll be the best day, and at the end of the day, we can look at each other,

when she's walking down that aisle, and shake each other's hand

and say, didn't do a bad job, eh, boys? Didn't do a bad job.

Bristol lads didn't do a bad job, eh?

The following morning, and Wayne is not well.

I am going to sleep today all day, and possibly be sick.

He still has the photographer, transport, hairdresser, make-up artist

and accessories to find, but it looks like nothing much is going to happen today.

He's got something in his hand.

With three days to go, Leanne gets her first indication

of just how much love, care and attention Wayne has lavished on her big day.

It's an invitation to the wedding with a tea stain on.

They say don't judge a book by its cover, but on this occasion...

I will see you pitch-side on super Sunday. Kick-off at two o'clock.

It will kick off, I'll kill him. There's no way in this world...

-I think he's winding you up.

-Yeah, I think he is.

-I really don't think... He's not going to send people invitations like that, is he?

-No.

Not that far off, actually.

Is that what my whole wedding will be, jokes and stupid little things?

It is a serious day. I know, but it's a serious day.

It's meant to be MY day, but he's just going to ruin it.

With only 48 hours to the wedding,

Wayne still has a few loose ends to tie up.

Here we go.

This Sunday, then?

Very short notice, yeah.

All right, thanks a lot, Wayne. Bye.

He's only got £50 left in the budget

and he still has to find a tiara for his bride.

That's under £50, so I'm happy already. Do I look pretty?

I think we should go for it because I can't be bothered to shop around for crap.

The final thing on the list is Leanne's shoes

and they come straight from the bargain bin.

Shoes, tenner, bargain.

-I mean, it wasn't about the price, let's be fair.

-Yeah, it was.

Maybe a little bit about the price.

-Thank you, cheers.

-Well, done today, mate.

Yeah.

-Hi.

-Hello.

For the last three weeks, Leanne has been completely in the dark.

It's been a nail-biting experience.

I just want mine taken off and new ones put back on.

But no amount of pampering will stop Leanne worrying about the unknown.

Do you know what I am dreading?

Walking down the aisle and everyone looking at me.

That's what they're going to do, you silly cow.

Everybody's going to be looking at me! Well, it's your wedding day.

-Where am I going to look, what am I going to do, it's embarrassing.

-Look at Wayne.

But one worry sits above all the others.

I'm praying my dress has got loads of sparkly bits. If it has, it'll be all right.

-If it hasn't, I am probably not going to like it.

-If you can bear it, then bear it just for him.

-Yeah.

-The thing is, my taste and his taste are completely different.

-Yeah.

Let's hope we get this kind of weather.

Finally, everything is in place and the boys have a chance to reflect.

As I say, mate, everything you've done, you've done really well.

When we first started, there was a bit of stress. You've done pretty well.

I'm impressed. I always said you could do it. You need faith in yourself.

I don't think we've forgotten anything. And what a venue as well.

Does Wayne think all the effort has been worth it?

Yeah, with anyone else, I wouldn't have gone through with it, but for her, I'll do anything.

What's different with Leanne, then? To all the other birds, you know.

I don't think it's their fault, but they were pretty much pushovers, if you know what I mean?

She's a bit more feisty, she won't take my crap that other girls have always put up with.

She won't take it at all.

But it's that side of Leanne he also dreads the most.

There's definitely things that won't be perfect for her, she's so hard to please.

I will be a bit gutted, I've put three weeks of work into it.

She can't hate everything, surely not.

I just hope she likes the dress, I think that's the most important thing.

-Everything else she could accept...

-If the dress is wrong, then...

If she don't like the dress, then... that's my main, main concern, I'm dreading that.

Wayne's anxious nights are nearly at an end.

It is the day before the wedding and time for Leanne to see her dress for the first time.

I'm not looking forward to it, I'm worried I'll hate it.

He spent £1,000 on the frock, but Leanne is the girl who wanted a £250,000 wedding.

Are you excited?

-Nervous.

-He put a lot of effort into picking your dress.

-It isn't really sparkly, is it?

-He's gone safe, I think.

It's just plain. I expected loads more sparkly bits because everyone knows that's what I want.

-It's what I like.

-I do think it's nice, though.

It's got crystal at the top. I know it's plain otherwise.

No, it's plain.

Will the demanding bride feel different about the dress once she's in it?

-I think that'll be her true reaction...

-When she's got it on.

When she sees it, she'll either love it or hate it, so fingers crossed.

I just hope she likes it.

It needs something adding to it, it's too plain, but I like it.

-I like the shape. I think he's got...

-The shape's right, definitely.

-It's just too plain.

-Yeah. Maybe a few more sparkles.

-It needs something added to it.

I love the shape, I really do, because it pulls my waist in. I've got a boyish figure.

Leanne wants it to have more wow factor, but it's not up to her.

She sends Jenna off to phone Wayne.

I don't care how much it costs. He's got an overdraft, tell him.

I don't care, it needs to be adjusted.

-Thank you, Jenna. He did good.

-Yeah.

Yeah. A bit more plain than I wanted,

but if they can sort it with crystals, it's perfect.

You need to trust him a bit more now.

-Hello, Wayne.

-Hello, Jenna.

-Well, she likes the dress.

-Yeah.

-One problem, though.

-OK.

-It's a bit plain.

OK.

She wants some more crystals put on to the dress.

Will that be extra cost? Because I've got no budget left at all, that's the thing.

She said she doesn't care how much it costs, you have to do it.

If that's what she really wants, there's nothing I can do.

If that's what has to happen, that's what has to happen, so...

All right. All right, then, thanks. Call you in a little bit.

All right. Bye.

It just feels like I've stressed for three weeks,

especially with the dress, I've really tried and it just seems like it's being thrown back in my face.

-I feel like

-BLEEP

-to be quite honest with you.

I was talking to Jenna about Mummy's dress.

-Mummy doesn't like her dress.

-Why?

I don't know, because she's a fussy cow.

I did the best I could, and it wasn't good enough.

She's probably not going to like the shoes, probably not going to like the tiara

and she's probably not going to like the whole wedding,

so, Mummy and Daddy might not be getting married.

Wayne's tried his hardest but Leanne doesn't spare him a thought

as she cracks out the credit card and pimps up her dress.

I'm happy. Once it's customised into a Leanne Fernley dress,

or Leanne Williams nearly, I'll be happy.

Just loads more sparkle. He's done really well with the shape.

I love the shape, so perfect there, but too safe.

-I'm proud of you, Wayne.

-Yeah.

Yeah, you've done my friend proud.

This is, like, impossible.

It's the night before the wedding and there is one last surprise Wayne wants to give his bride.

A pendant with a photograph of Leanne's nan inside.

On our wedding day, it will be, or would have been, her nan's 60th.

Her nan was kind of like her second mum.

They were just really, really close.

She'll be wearing this locket on the day

and effectively, her nan will be walking down the aisle with her.

There you go, that's done.

I'm pleased with that.

I hope Leanne is.

For Wayne, it's been a tough but empowering three weeks.

I've found it hard to break away from what I used to do

because I normally let other people make decisions.

I'd just do what other people want to do.

Finding my own voice was quite liberating.

I mean, before I'd just go along with what she wants and now I've been liberated, so to speak.

I know that when she comes back into my life

and we are living together again, I'm going to want to do things my way.

After three weeks of separation, the big day has finally arrived.

It's 10am, just four hours before the ceremony

and Leanne is still without some key items.

Wayne? Have you not got my text messages?

Leanne's got no dress, no tiara.

We can't finish her hair until she's got her tiara.

Pretty nervous now. All of a sudden, it's kicking in.

It's a rush now, isn't it?

Why does she need her dress so soon? She doesn't need them till one.

It's three hours. It doesn't take three hours to get into a dress.

Wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses.

Leanne's dress is now blinged up to her high standards.

Now the crystals are on there

she's probably got the dress that she wants now, I would say.

The bridesmaids, too, have their dresses, but they are not exactly happy.

Doesn't look as though they fit properly.

You can tell this is not me for like a size eight.

-That neck is so wide. Why would you have a neck that wide?

-It looks puckered.

They don't fit properly.

Michelle's doesn't even look pressed and Jenna's won't even stay up. It's awful.

They are ill-fitting, bright orange, and Leanne is about to see them for the first time.

Ah, look at you.

Oh, you look so cute. I would never have picked that colour myself,

it would have been a different colour if it was me, but I do like it.

But I am not happy with the fit.

You should have been for second and third fittings.

That's not good, I don't care.

Luckily for the girls, Leanne's dad Nick has a solution - his mum.

There's a young lady here needs assistance very soon.

It's all last-minute chaos.

She's shaking.

She may be shaking, but super-nan Pearl isn't stirred and saves the day.

-Is that better.

-Yeah, that feels a lot better.

-Yeah.

-That does feel a lot better.

-You are beautiful.

-Thank you.

You are welcome, my sweet, you really are.

Meanwhile, the boys are helping each other get dressed and Nigel is on top of all the little details.

-Got the tissues for the tears, mate.

-Did you bring tissues?

-Of course I did.

I think I look all right. I'm getting a bit stressed now because I'm running out of time.

Haven't done my hair yet, got loads to remember and I'm a bit rushed

and I don't like being rushed. I hate it.

You look handsome, scrub up well.

Drive careful.

It's an hour and half to the ceremony

and Leanne's wish for big hair has definitely been granted.

It's a bit big.

A bit too big, yeah.

The sides, I need it...

You look like Sandy from Grease.

I want it more modern, it felt a bit too old-fashioned.

I want my hair quite volumed... The thing is, I don't know. I don't know what I want.

She doesn't know whether she's coming or going.

She just wants everything to be perfect.

I don't think she knows what she wants or what perfect is.

The cars arrive.

Leanne wanted a horse and carriage for her fairy-tale wedding, but will these suffice?

A Bentley. Ohh. A Bentley, I didn't realise.

Oh, well done, Wayne.

But with ten people to transport to the venue, Leanne's quick to spot a problem.

-There's only two.

-The Mercedes is going to take the bridesmaids first

then come back for Mum and we'll go with the Bentley after. You've got lots of time yet.

Princess Leanne is finally ready to face her public.

Look at Mummy. Oh, doesn't Mummy look beautiful?

-Yeah, nice.

-Oh, you look beautiful, Leanne.

-Thank you.

-Definitely proud to walk her down the aisle, yeah.

There's just one final touch from Wayne,

the pendant and a little note to his bride to be.

"Today on our wedding day we are sadly reminded

"of those who could not be here to celebrate with us.

"Among those is a woman who..."

Oh, get someone else to read it, not Mum.

'She would have loved to be here for you today and she will be watching over you.'

It's Nan.

I need a cigarette, I'm not joking.

Shut up, stop crying. Stop being a berk.

It's such a nice thought.

I really didn't think Wayne would even think about anything like that.

He has really, really surprised me, honestly,

I can't emphasis that enough.

Honestly. I'm shocked.

At the venue, the guests have arrived.

There's just the small matter of the bridal party.

Nearly, we're nearly there.

It's ten past two and the ceremony should have started ten minutes ago.

I've got no bride.

Don't stress, a few more minutes.

Nigel may not be worried, but Wayne has done his sums.

-The car has to make two journeys yet.

-Two journeys?

Yeah, one of the car's got to make two journeys, so...

And if the first journey hasn't even been made...

-Hello.

-Hello, Wayne.

The ceremony should have started ten minutes ago.

Yeah, we know, but there's been second thoughts and all-sorts here.

That's not even funny, that's not funny at all. You'll be ages.

I am looking at maybe three o'clock wedding now.

Three o'clock? You'll be lucky.

Sorry, ladies and gentleman.

Just to keep you informed.

The bride's running a little bit late, as are her bridesmaids,

there's been a kerfuffle with hair and make-up.

I think we are looking at possibly about a 40-minute wait.

Her man isn't at all surprised.

Yeah, and Leanne always causes a drama wherever she goes, so this is typical Leanne.

It's gone three o'clock by the time the leading lady is ready to make her entrance.

I don't want my dress to get wet.

Wayne has arranged a detour for his football-loathing bride.

Do not do this! I'm getting out. I'm going.

No, I'm not having it. I'm sorry, I'll go.

You'd better be joking.

I never went through this stress for three weeks to get married here. I'm getting out.

As Leanne's mood darkens, the car spins away from the ground.

It's not there.

You'd better be lying! You're horrible.

I was about to get out!

That's horrible!

But what will she think of the real venue?

Oh, it is nice.

It's kind of a big grand building, so he got that right, flipping hell.

He's doing well.

# Today this could be

# The greatest day of our lives

# Before it all ends

# Before we run out of time

# Stay close to me

# Stay close to me... #

I love you so much. Well done, babe.

Of course, today's ceremony is really a public declaration of the commitment

that Wayne and Leanne have already made to one another

but I'm pleased to know that they have chosen

to mark the exchange of vows and promises in a very traditional way.

I understand Nigel had the responsibility of looking after the rings

-and I'll ask Nigel, have you got the rings?

-Oh, definitely, yeah.

Excellent, we'll have them now. Once again, Wayne, if you would now repeat after me.

Leanne, I give you this ring...

-Leanne, I give you this ring...

-..with a faithful commitment...

-..with a faithful commitment...

..to deepen and strengthen my love for you.

..to deepen and strengthen my love for you.

-To support and comfort you.

-To support and comfort you.

-And to cherish your joys.

-And to cherish your joys.

-For as long as we both shall live.

-For as long as we both shall live.

It is my honour and pleasure to be able to say you are now husband and wife.

And of course, you may kiss the bride.

Wayne's efforts seemed to have worked their magic

and Princess Leanne has got her fairy tale.

And Wayne's surprises just keep coming.

Oh, you've got my doves. Are you lying?

Go on, babies.

He's done really, really well.

I'm kind of happy that he's done well,

but a part of me is, "Damn it, we'll never hear the end of it."

He has surprised me. Everything is perfect, so...

And you know how fussy I am, I'm a spoilt little brat.

He's done it well, take my hat off to him, that's all I can say.

I am very proud of Wayne. He's done fantastic.

He has done really well. I am really proud of him.

Right move, get inside now, come on.

Move it, move it, come on.

All I want to say is thanks for everyone for coming.

And Wayne, I could not have done it better.

You have done... CHEERING

To be here today and for her to love everything is just crazy, I didn't think she would.

But she seems happy so.

She's also a little drunk, but happy she definitely is.

Well, she can't keep her hands off him for one, so he must have done a good job.

Wayne is the most sexiest man in the world.

It's true, I can't help it.

I feel shaky when I look at him and I cannot help it.

It's an absolute brilliant job. I always said he could do it.

He just needed a bit of confidence.

And look at it, everyone's having a good time.

Later I hope he sits down and takes a moment and thinks,

"Actually, mate, I didn't do a bad job."

Pats himself on the back and says, "Yeah, I can do it, I don't need anyone to hold my hand any more."

I love you so much, you are amazing, you are my soul mate

and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

I love you with all my heart, I love you with all that I am, and thank you for being my wife.

Leanne, too, can't help showing her feelings.

No joking don't, don't.

You're kissing it cos it's got chocolate on it.

It's time for Wayne to face the music,

as he gets ready to deliver his biggest surprise of the day.

# It's undeniable

# That we should be together

# It's unbelievable how I used to say that I'd never find you

# One, you're like a dream come true

# Two, just wanna be with you

# Three, girl, it's plain to see

# That you're the only one for me

# Four, repeat steps one through three

# Five, make you fall in love with me

# If ever I believe my work is done

# Then I start back at one. #

-You are buying me birthday and Christmas presents.

-Why?

-For a surprise.

You have done this and it's absolutely amazing, and more than I could have ever even imagined.

I can't even believe it, I'm so shocked, I can't get over it.

You're buying me Christmas and birthday presents.

The last three weeks, I've experienced life with beer and football

and they are not being cut out of my life any more.

I'll give you beer and football, I'll knock you out.

# You threw out the life line

# Just in the nick of time. #

You're still under the thumb, back under the thumb, get used to it, I'm Mrs Williams.

# Three, girl it's plain to see

# That you're the only one for me

# Four, repeat steps one through three

# Five, make you fall in love with me

# If ever I believe my work is done

# Then I start back at one. #