Lauren and Perry Don't Tell the Bride

-Every girl dreams of her wedding.

-I want to be you now.

But what happens when she has no say on her big day?

Don't Tell The Bride is back.

This is all for the name of love.

12 gallant grooms are taking control

with 12 grand apiece.

-Give it to me!

-And just three weeks to organise a wedding.

-Absolute idiot!

-They're more daring, more ambitious...

-Why has he done this?

-..and more outrageous than ever before.

It's like a joke!

-Will the glass slipper fit?

-Hell no!

-Will true love conquer all?

-Horrid, horrid.

Oh, my God! It's on a beach.

And will there be a fairytale ending?

-Is it the right ring?!

-Turn that off!

-Or just a damsel in distress?

-Wishes do come true.

-Sometimes they don't.

# Five, four, three, two, one... #

Tonight get ready to jam as Mod music lover Perry...

That looks the nuts.

-..drums up a gig-inspired wedding...

-You can smell the stale beer.

-..for his hippy bride-to-be Lauren.

-I could be like Titania with a daisy-chain headdress.

-While she shuns the limelight...

-I don't want any showy-offy crap.

-..he's determined to put her centre stage.

-We're the show.

So we're platformed up and unavoidable.

-But by walking in the footsteps of his idols...

-Paul Weller, Oasis, Ocean Colour Scene.

-Who's this?

-..and choosing a dress that's all about him...

-It's been three weeks.

-I want to see her in something that gets everything racing.

-..will he be in tune with his bride?

Or will he be totally off-key?

I'm trying to think of the negatives and really there isn't any.

Pissed off.

This programme contains some strong language.

Childhood friends Perry and Lauren first met at primary school,

but it took 20 years for Lauren to realise he was the man of her dreams.

I sent him a message that said, "I had a dream about you." He replied straight away.

-"You've taken my world and flipped it upside down."

-You were always poetic. Even when you asked me out,

-"What is this bloke going on about?"

-# I want to live like common people... #

-It was a daunting prospect to ask Lauren out.

-There's no hiding from the fact I'm from an estate

and her mum and dad had their own house. I was so petrified. I had her on a pedestal.

But I did ask her out.

-But the date wasn't quite what romantic Perry had in mind.

-I did ruin it

by having a conversation about how much I hate flowers, roses, how I'd be put off a guy with flowers.

Not knowing that Perry actually had bought me flowers.

And then the incident in the park...

I was desperate for the loo and I had to go and do a wee in the middle of the park.

-Perry probably wasn't seeing me in the best light.

-But it didn't matter because Perry was already smitten.

Her cheeky little grin. That was me, if not in love, falling at that point.

Just three months later Lauren had also fallen...pregnant.

-We kind of slipped up once.

-In that five-day window.

Super-fertile Perry.

Now a proud father to 18-month-old Noah and with his bride-to-be pregnant for the second time,

-Perry has less time to enjoy his great passion in life.

-Indie music. Mods.

Bands like The Kinks, The Who, The Jam, Paul Weller.

It's basically made me who I am.

All my 20s, my social life was gigs, going to watch live bands play.

Despite also working long hours at Heathrow Airport, he always has time for his dream woman.

My guitar is named Paloma after Paloma Faith. My actual dream girl.

Actual dream girl?

Back in the real world, Lauren is the grown-up, balancing her job as a bank manager with being a mum

and running the family home.

If I left it to Perry, things like finances, planning important trips, holidays, stuff like that,

nothing would get done.

-You having fun?

-Great, yeah.

So you're just going to continue doing that and I'll tidy up?

-He's like a massive child.

-Ready. Yeah!

Sometimes I think Noah is a bit more mature than Perry is.

Desperate for her starry-eyed boyfriend to grow up, Lauren started pushing for a proposal.

I've spent probably the last 18 months nagging Perry about getting married.

But when Perry recently popped the question on top of the Eiffel Tower, surrounded by tourists,

his bashful bride-to-be was mortified.

He pulled out this box and went on his knee and I just froze, panicked. I was like, "Get up!"

I just felt a complete wave of embarrassment.

Although she finally said yes, it seems music-mad Perry's attempts at romance hit all the wrong notes.

Can he strike the right chord with the wedding?

I'd like something really nice and chilled and not showy-offy.

Nothing garish. "Look at me!"

Oh, dear. Because Perry is planning the exact opposite.

Lauren deserves a massive gig. It'd be unjust to have anything else.

We've got the audience, the guests, and we'll be onstage, up in lights. We'll be the gig.

I'd like to get married outdoors somewhere really, really, natural,

earthy. Midsummer Night's Dream-y.

-Will Perry's plans be music to Lauren's ears?

-I think I'll give the wedding that we both want.

She may not know that she wants it, but she'll turn up and think,

"Yeah, that wasn't too bad."

If Perry gets it really wrong, I'm worried that I'll behave like a real spoiled brat,

kicking and screaming. And crying.

-What's Mummy doing?

-It's almost time to say goodbye.

-You nervous?

Yeah, pretty nervous. I'm not really thinking about it right now.

The next time they see each other will be in three weeks at the wedding and for Lauren

-it's a final chance to make sure he has her in mind.

-Just think with every decision,

what would I do, how would I feel.

-Just trust I'll make it as enjoyable as possible for both of us.

-You better.

Please just don't embarrass me.

This is the first time the couple have been apart since Noah was born.

-You all right, fella?

-Give Daddy a kiss.

Be good.

# And you let her go... #

For the next three weeks, Lauren will be moving back into her family home.

I'm gutted.

I feel pretty bad at the moment. I won't see my girlfriend for three weeks. Hope I don't fall apart.

I don't even think I can put into words how much I'll miss him.

It's just everything. Playing with Noah, making me laugh.

Everything, really.

-Da-da.

-How much will you miss your daddy? You're too busy.

-Gone.

-Daddy's gone, yeah.

Let's get this thing done, let's get this wedding sorted and get Lauren back, get the boy back.

Da-da.

Helping Perry keep the show on the road will be school friend and best man Michael.

-How you doing, mate?

-The boys used to be flatmates so Michael knows all of Perry's strengths...

-..and weaknesses.

-My role is stopping Perry totally ruining it.

Whether it happens perfectly is whether he listens to me. And it could still go wrong.

-It needs to be a gig theme. I'm kind of thinking there's got to be a stage.

-Right.

There'll be a band playing music to her walking down.

And that'll be the gig starting.

Are you getting married on the same stage as the band?

Yeah, definitely. It'll be a band playing music, her walking up...

-That's fine, that's fine...

-Listen, listen.

She's onstage and I'm onstage with her. So we will be the gig.

-Everything you've said is banging. I like the whole idea.

-So the venue must have a stage.

Well, mate, it's your day.

I know what he wants, he knows, but he's got no thinking, no planning, no consideration.

Apart from that, he's perfect.

With no idea she's being lined up as the headline act,

Lauren's out with bridesmaids Nicola, Amy and younger sister Lee.

Have you got a worst-case scenario? What would make you freak out?

My big fear is he'll embarrass me. Some big public display of affection

and people will think it's a joke.

I'm worried he'll try "to show everybody how funny I am".

It's my wedding! It's important to be traditional.

It's day one of wedding planning.

With Perry's younger brother Chase on board, the boys shortlist venues for their gig, sorry, wedding.

-How many are you inviting?

-Around 100.

Off the top of my head, say, the Forum in Kentish Town.

-Lovely. It's got a stage.

-You've got 100 people. That's holding, like, five thousand.

If you're going for the Mods and that sort of theme, don't they have pubs and things like that?

You're wasting money booking a bigger place and it'll drown out the people you've got. Two massive negatives.

You're all negative. That's all I'm getting from you right now.

'It's hard because they're not'

from the same tastes as me. My brother likes his rap music. Not even rap.

It's like jungle. Michael, his iPod would be full of loads of rubbish.

'They can't see things the way I'm seeing things.'

My brother's one of those people that don't like to take advice from people.

-He likes to do it all himself.

-He's not a normal chap, though.

-No.

-Know what I mean?

-Not normal at all.

So there's not going to be a normal wedding, he's not a normal chap

-and we'll have to arrange it not normally. Simple as that.

-Genius.

So the boys are on the hunt for a not normal venue to fit Perry's not normal wedding.

They've lined up a couple of viewings, one at the Forum in Kentish Town

and the other a Camden boozer loved by the Britpop pack and a one-time haunt of Madness.

See what I mean? Straight away.

Look at that. You can't escape what the place is all about.

There's posters everywhere. You could create a wicked mood. It is up close and personal.

There's no escaping it.

If getting married in a pub wasn't enough of a treat, there will be no escaping the limelight for Lauren.

-We could do what we like with the stage?

-Do what you like.

-Yeah.

-The whole place here would be yours to do what you like.

The decoration, the posters, we wouldn't touch any of that. That's the feel we're looking for.

Could you give us a price?

-Well, on condition that they would have their drinks here...

-Yeah.

-..I'd give it to you free.

-Free?!

-So we could hire out the venue for free?

-Hire the venue for free...

-Because we're using the bar.

-For using our bars.

-OK.

-Is that fair enough?

-Blimey.

On condition they're fairly good drinkers!

'There's that smell of stale beer from the night before.

'That immediately gets the sense going for me and I'd hope for her.'

I'm trying to think of the negatives and really there isn't any.

Other than the stage, the bar and the smell of stale beer. Yeah, no negatives.

Meanwhile, Lauren's on the scent of something completely different.

She's escaped the city and brought sister Lee to her perfect woodland venue in East Sussex.

It would be the ideal place for me to have my Midsummer Night's Dream, candlelit wedding in the forest.

In private, which is really important. You can't see anything for miles. Just trees.

Just empty and quiet. You could imagine walking through the grass. Wouldn't it be nice?

Even nicer in bare feet.

This is Lauren's perfect dream wedding venue. It's outdoors, it's nature. Later on in the evening

it could be lit up with fairy lights. It's got everything that she's always wanted.

-I could be like Titania from Midsummer Night's Dream. Daisy chain headdress.

-Yeah.

-All floaty.

-It would be lovely.

-It would.

Oh, well. Back in the Big Smoke, Perry's at his second gig venue, the vast London Forum.

When the bird...the bride rolls up,

-you could have the metal barriers outside, where people queue at a proper gig.

-Do you like it?

Yeah, I like it. It's the Forum, innit?

Cor. Smell that. You can smell the stale beer as soon as you walk in.

-You're definitely not normal with the, "I love the stale beer smell".

-That's just not right.

It's part and parcel, isn't it? It just reminds you. It's nostalgia.

-But it's nature, not nostalgia that Lauren wants.

-Oh, smell the leaves.

-Yeah.

-You can't smell the petrol and the fast food restaurants.

-Yeah, just smell the air.

-And you don't hear cars, you hear birds singing. Or tweeting.

Or whatever. It's just like a secret wedding. That's what's important.

-I don't want any showy-offy crap.

-Yeah.

What? Like a big showy-offy stage at the biggest music venue in North London?

Does this mean we've made it? This means we've made it.

Lauren and I will be here and now we've got all the eyes looking at us.

We're the show. This is what I mean.

We're platformed up and people are looking. We're unavoidable.

Think about standing right here have been Paul Weller, Oasis, Ocean Colour Scene.

Who are these people?

I don't want it to be a big spectacle. It's a wedding.

If everything's a massive big embarrassment, there's only so much I could take on that day.

I may go back to being spoilt and have a real bitch fit.

If Perry really messed things up, she could do a big wobbly. I don't want to be around then!

And that wobbly could be right in the spotlight, centre stage.

-Great, innit?

-Despite being offered the pub for nothing, Perry's decided to fork out five grand

to hold his wedding on the sacred stage where his heroes have stood at the London Forum.

-Brilliant.

-Let's sign some things.

I'm getting married.

I feel euphoric at the moment, really upbeat about it. It's great stuff.

Great stuff. It's mental.

It's not going to be up her street, it's not, but she'll walk in

and get that smell... As soon as she sees what we've done to the place, she's going to be having it.

Or she might be having a fit.

Back at home, Lauren's stressing about Perry planning her big day. I can't think why.

I hate being away from Perry because I feel like I don't really have control over what he's doing.

If Perry starts making decisions that are showy-offy,

that would annoy me. I hope he has some list he's working to.

-I can't imagine he'll have a list.

-I hope he doesn't do stupid things.

Lauren is known to be stroppy and have tantrums.

No matter what he does he's going to be worrying about what she's going to be like.

It's day six and with his venue booked, Perry's on a roll.

The boys are heading to Norfolk on the hunt for some Mod transport for his bride-to-be.

His pregnant bride-to-be.

-# People try to put us down

-Talkin' 'bout my generation

# Just because we get around... #

Listen to it. Listen to it.

-It'll cause a ruck, a stir. It'll cause a stir seeing that coming up the road.

-Beautiful.

-You could get the Norwich Mods to ferry him to the wedding.

-Would you do that?

-Of course.

- There's local London Mod clubs. - There would be a lot around the London area.

-Not as cool as the Norwich Mods.

-Well, obviously.

-But Michael can see a hole in Perry's plan.

-What's going to happen to her dress? Not a lot of space.

-Is she going to fit on it with her dress or not?

-We'll have to wait, won't we?

"Sorry, you'll have to walk, love."

But Perry's not one to dwell on the negatives.

He's got something else in mind, like what he'll be wearing.

-What about clothes-wise?

-You want a sharp suit.

-Exactly.

This man here, that looks the nuts. That's what I'm looking for.

-Sharp.

-It is sharp, definitely.

- If you've got some time to spare, get a tailor-made suit. - That's what we don't have any of.

He's right. They don't have any spare time, but there's always time for a quick ride round the block.

# I'm staying out for the summer... #

It's the end of the first week and with absolutely no say in her own wedding,

Lauren is curious about the choices her mum Dee made for her big day.

-Is it your wedding photos?

-Yeah.

I like your dress, Mum. Proper hippy. That must be where I get it.

I dug it out. Do you want to see it? I thought you might wear it, but it might be a bit too small.

-Go and get it.

-Let me get it.

I always imagined her getting married in a meadow in bare feet with flowers in her hair.

With nature. Hopefully, it might be something like that.

-Here it is.

-Oh, I love it.

If you don't like the dress Perry gets, quickly put that on!

But as a hippy wedding couldn't be further from Perry's mind,

it might not be all peace and love on the day.

She was quite spoilt by us. There's been a couple of times when Lauren's wanted something so badly

that she's kicked through a window and had to be taken to hospital.

'I hope she behaves on the day.'

I think it will be obvious from Lauren's face and the way she acts whether she's happy

or disappointed.

With his gig venue booked, starry-eyed Perry now wants to see his name in lights.

Luckily for him, he's got the perfect surname for the occasion - McBride.

On the wedding day, I want a sign on the stage over the band saying, "The McBrides",

symbolising that me and Lauren's wedding is actually a gig.

-Can I help?

-We're hoping so, yeah. I'm looking for letters.

-OK.

-Spelling out McBride.

Each neon letter costs £200. The lights are on, but is anyone home?

-How many is that?

-Five.

It's seven. What am I thinking?

M-C-B-R-I-D-E.

-Yeah, seven.

-I didn't want to say nothing.

Extraordinary.

Something like that, you're looking at 1,500 quid.

It's so hard. It's so hard to commit to it.

-I know what I've got in front of me.

-Without the sign...

-The band, the dress, photographer,

rings, suits... So that, say that was all a grand each, plus that.

That's the whole twelve grand.

-Did you do food?

-Did I do food? The band, photographer, wedding dress, rings, suits.

Whoa.

Perry's being given one final offer.

If you ring me on Tuesday and you can get £1,000, I'll do it.

Right. I want to get the dress bought. That's the biggest thing.

Get that sorted and then we'll get back on the case, Matt. I'll let you know.

It's the beginning of week two and with the dress in mind, music-mad Perry finally hits the right note.

-Hiya. You all right?

-He wants a gown for his pregnant bride and knows exactly what he needs.

-We need something for a wedding and it's got to be a dress.

-But even the dress is all about him.

I want something to jump out at me. She's quite curvy, isn't she?

I've not seen this girl for three weeks. I want to see her in something to get everything racing.

Hi! Nice to meet you.

Across town, Lauren's brought her sister Lee and bridesmaid Anna to pick out the dress she'd choose

if she were in charge. Nearly three months pregnant, she wants a dress to hide her bump, not show it off.

Have you got any ideas?

No straps at all. Just like empire line, then...

On my wedding day, I don't want to be feeling fat.

I don't want people thinking, "She looks fat."

What about this, fish-tail?

It's too tight for me. It's too fitted.

I don't want something that draws attention to my...lumpy bumpy bits.

-What shape dress are you looking for?

-Hourglass.

-What you've just done is that. Slender all the way down...

-That shape.

I like it. I think that's the shape.

Is this lace?

I like the look of lace.

I thought lace was a little busy and it is really popular now.

That straight away makes me not like it.

-This one, for me, is absolutely beautiful.

-But this isn't about you, it's about me

-and you definitely don't have the chest for that dress.

-Oh, OK.

While Lauren wants a dress to flatter her curves, for Perry it's got to be tight.

Really, really tight.

It doesn't go in enough.

Hasn't got the curvage.

I like that. I do like that.

-I think with Lauren's chest as well.

-You can see it there, can't you?

-That's basically number one so far.

-It's only number two, innit?

-There we are.

We don't need Carol Vorderman.

-Oh...

-This is lovely. I honestly don't care what you say.

Lauren's fallen for a classic ivory gown that fits snugly on her waist

and flows into a full skirt complementing her curves.

-It reminds me of, like...

-I love this bit.

-..19-whatever era.

-Hollywood, like, Oscar-y.

-It's really lovely.

It's the traditional dress this bride thought she didn't want.

I feel like I'm betraying my hippy...hippiness.

-I love it. I really do.

-'She didn't want to be a traditional bride'

and she'll kick herself later on, thinking, "Oh, God! I'm being like everybody else. I'm not different."

She's going to look lovely. Well, hopefully, if Perry picks her something nice like that.

I just feel incredible. Confident, slim,

I feel special. I don't know. I just feel how I should feel in a wedding dress.

I'm happy, but... really scared now because what chance has Perry got?

Well, he's got a 50/50 chance, really, as he's choosing between a lace dress Lauren would hate

or a figure-hugging satin dress similar to the one she loves.

I'm just torn. I'm torn.

-Mate, this is totally crunch time.

-Let me just think a minute.

Will he choose left for lace or right for satin?

I'm going for that one. That's the one. I'm going for that. Got to go for that one.

That is it, innit?

The only difference is it's lace. I said to myself that the satin thing would be more traditional

and that one's lace.

Yeah, OK, that's it.

So Perry's forking out nearly £900 on his dream dress for Lauren -

a super figure-hugging lace number to show off every curve.

I don't think she's got any excuse not to like it. She does look great in stuff that shows off her curves.

There's no doubt about it.

With the bride's dress out of the way, Perry can turn back to the important stuff,

like whether to blow a grand to see his surname McBride up in lights.

-That was your beginning idea. Lights.

-Yeah, yeah.

Right.

This is all numbers. We need to break it down.

250...

With only the venue and dress paid for so far, he's decided to make up the cost of everything else

-and base his decision on guesswork.

-I've done band, dress, food, suits, rings, flowers...

bridesmaid dresses...

-I said...

-So we come to just under £11,000, but that's without the sign.

-So that gives us about a grand and so we should get the sign.

-It's down to you.

-We can afford it.

Right, we've made the decision. We're going to go for the light.

Amazing what you can achieve with a made-up budget, isn't it?

Who DOESN'T want their name up in lights?

Maybe a bride who shuns the limelight?

Just saying!

It's the end of the second week. Short of cash, Perry's opted not to have a stag, but he's splashed out

on a hen night for Lauren and her friends.

I just hope, right...

"Here's £100. Your first cars will be with you for 5.05. Have fun."

No "I love you"? No "love, Perry"? We still don't know where we're going!

For Lauren, the hen night is Perry's first chance to show just how well he knows her.

It needs to go along the Lauren lines, a little bit out of the box.

But Perry is thinking INSIDE the box and is sending Lauren

to one of south London's most popular hen destinations - the Wimbledon Dogs.

We're going towards Wimbledon. There's Wimbledon tennis...

-Lauren just doesn't know it yet.

-Wimbledon Common, Wimbledon Dogs.

-If we're going to the dogs, I'll tell the taxi man to turn around.

-We're not going to the dogs.

He wouldn't send you on a shit hen do just for fun!

I swear to God I know this road! I'm not even joking. We're going to the dogs.

You see? Wimbledon Stadium.

Oh, my God! Why would he do this to me?

All the people in there will be like, "Look at these fucking idiots! A hen do at the dogs?!"

-I can't believe it. How humiliating!

-I'm going to kill him.

I'M going to kill him. It's ridiculous!

I'm going to be embarrassed going in there to the dogs. If they do hen dos, it'll be like tacky shit.

He's done this to wind me up, 100%.

I'm not being funny. Do people come here out of choice or is this prison?

# Every day I love you less and less... #

It's proper pikey, innit?

Everyone's, like, staring at us!

So the canine hen do has been, well..."ruff"!

And Perry is well and truly in the dog house.

I think he'll pay for this.

All this jokey business, I hope he's got that out of the way now and he can do things properly

because I won't be happy.

Tonight is a demonstration of what will happen if it goes wrong.

There are just a few days to go before the wedding

-and Perry faces the tricky task of choosing dresses for Lauren's four bridesmaids.

-How are you doing?

I feel like the meat to the lions at the moment.

Having forked out a grand on his neon sign, Perry knows he now needs to economise.

The girls won't mind.

-What's the budget?

-£40 each.

-Are you joking?

-Don't say I don't give you anything!

-Shut up! 40 quid?

-40 quid.

-How good am I?

-We're in the wrong shop.

-My heart is going now.

-I thought this would be easy.

How hard can it be to find one dress to suit four completely different women?

-They don't have the right sizes.

-Can't we just rip it up the back or something?

-Rip it?

-Yeah, get a bit of back on the go.

-I think that's really funny!

-You good at stitchwork?

Perry has no idea. It's down to us to find something that fits us that we can afford. This is hideous.

But struggling to find anything within their measly budget, the girls have to add money themselves.

-20 quid each, girls?

-Yeah.

-20 quid?

-This is 60 quid.

-We each have to put 20 quid towards it.

Yeah, all right, I'm happy with that, but I don't want you going mental!

-What do you think?

-Yeah, yeah. Quality. I think we've got all we're looking for.

I've given it four ticks. It's that thing going off in me head again. Brilliant!

-Could that be the sound of alarm bells?

-We've got the dress.

-Right.

What about footwear...?

Erm...

-Yeah, footwear.

-Weren't you supposed to provide us with shoes?

-In a perfect world, yeah.

-What did you think we were going to wear on our feet?

-Nothing?

Is there any possibility that you've got shoes that would go with the dress yourselves?

It's a massive oversight. He's assumed that we're girls and we'll just have shoes.

I hope that on the day there aren't other things that have been forgotten about because it could be disastrous.

With only a quarter of his budget remaining and half a wedding still to organise,

music-mad Perry is on a mission to sort out...

a pair of Mod era suits.

-This is the beef?

-The roast dinner buffet catering.

-I do like that!

-An antique wedding band for Lauren.

-170.

-Iconic, Mod-themed paper decorations.

-Fantastic.

-All right?

-Yeah, wicked.

-And, of course, the...

-Wedding cakes.

-Good lad.

And he's even done a cheesy deal on Lauren's invitation.

-Hello.

-How are you doing?

-All right.

-I've come bearing gifts.

-Thank you. Well...

-Is it actually a pizza?

Oh, bloody hell!

Thursday?!

Thursday!

-I can't keep that! How am I supposed to keep that for the rest of my life as a memory?

-He wants pizza.

-Pizza!

From Daddy!

Oh, my God, look!

There's only one pizza here. Where's the other one?

I'm glad he's picked something untraditional, as well as feeding me.

This is for me and now everyone's eating it.

We're just helping you out, aren't we? You've only got two days now to get skinny.

Oh, yeah. Size 14 to a size zero in two days(!)

Hmm!

With all of his budget now allocated,

Perry's decision to blow £1,000 to see his name in lights has come back to haunt him.

I need to get a photographer, but we've got no money for it. We've got no leeway.

It's the most important day of our lives. What's the point in creating a day, like, if it's just gone?

# I don't belong here... #

With son Noah in tow, Perry has no choice but to beg at the Bank of Mum!

Nana!

All right? How are you doin'?

'Perry lived with me for a long, long time.'

Then when he met Lauren, it was hard for me, really hard, because he's always been a mummy's boy.

How's everything going? All right?

It's been bloody expensive. We've just had to cut out on everything.

And one of the things is the photographer, innit?

Yeah, you've got to have a photographer.

-We have.

-You've got to, haven't you?

-Really.

-I was hoping you'd help with that.

You want me to take the pictures?

PERRY LAUGHS

No.

-You want me to pay for your photographer?

-Yeah.

-And how much is that?

-Eight hundred...

-Eight pounds?

-800.

If you could sort that out, that'd be the best wedding present I can receive.

I'll give you the money.

-That's all right?

-I suppose it'll have to be, won't it? I knew he'd come to me.

Are you nervous about the wedding?

Do you know what? Um...

I don't think I've had... I don't think I've had time to get nervous about the wedding, to be honest.

I don't think I've had the time to sit there and think, "Blimey, I'm actually getting married!"

It's going to be emotional, innit?

-Yeah, I think so.

-I think it's going to be really emotional.

-Yeah.

I think he'll make a fantastic husband, a fantastic provider and he will look after his family

because his family are number one.

I just knew that one day he would meet someone special and Lauren is someone special.

For Perry to have met her, she's got to have been special. More special than me.

850 quid to my old dear is a lot of money. It's a lot of money in anyone's book.

She's always been good like that. She always looks after me. That's a huge relief.

He's gone £800 over budget, but thanks to Mum, that's the photographer now sorted.

It's the day before the wedding

and Lauren has brought her mum and sister to see the dress Perry picked for her.

I feel sick. I don't know if that's because I'm nervous about the dress, anxious about tomorrow.

It's massively important that I feel good in it and don't feel fat.

I hope you like it. Try not to swear, eh?

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Nice to meet you.

-Looking forward to seeing your dress?

-Yeah, I'm scared. I'm really scared.

-Would you like to take a seat?

-Thank you.

-Are you nervous then?

-Yeah.

Conscious of her growing bump, pregnant Lauren fell for a flattering A-line dress.

The last thing she wanted was anything lacy or tight.

Oh, God, I'm shaking!

Oh, my God! It's lace.

Oh, my God, it's got all, like, diamantes and stuff on it!

I thought that Perry knew that I didn't particularly like sort of detailed stuff.

-Is it tight all the way down?

-Yes.

I always wanted something that was quite loose-fitting to hide the lumps and bumps,

whereas this is probably going to show them all. I need to get it on.

For Lauren's mum Dee, the suspense is just too much.

Hurry up! Oh, God...

- Oh, it's lovely. - It's beautiful.

It's really nice, yeah.

It fits beautifully.

It feels so good.

-Wow!

-Mum, don't cry because you'll make me cry.

Oh, it's lovely.

It's not over-the-top bling. It's quite pretty.

You'll have to practise trying to walk.

-I never would have thought about lace. What about these bits that go across?

-They're very slimming.

-Are they?

-You look very slim.

Amazingly, holding Lauren in all the right places, Perry's vision for a tight dress has paid off.

I can't believe it. I can't believe I never would have thought of trying something like this on.

-Your boobs look nice.

-It looks really good. Your figure looks really good.

-It suits your shape.

I feel really skinny. I don't feel fat or pregnant.

I can forget going to the dogs!

-He knows your shape better than you do.

-I feel like a proper bride. I just feel sexy and curvy.

I don't want to fall over!

With its figure-hugging fit, there's barely enough room for Lauren to walk,

let alone get on a scooter, but that's the last thing on Perry's mind.

Hi, it's Perry McBride.

Hello.

There needs to be curvature going from the bust down to the hips,

then kind of going along down to her thighs, then spreading out from her knees. All right?

OK then. Thanks. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

We've got to get the tailor in, Lauren, because he wants it tighter at the bottom. Really tight here.

-I'm never going to be able to walk.

-He specifically wants it like that.

Who has he become overnight? Alexander McQueen?

-I'll not be able to walk. It's hard enough anyway.

-It's such a shame. It looks so lovely the way it is!

-Under the bottom...

-I'm going to take from the back as well.

I think it's going to be quite hard to walk,

especially now that it's going to be a lot slimmer than it actually originally was,

but...no frowns today from me.

But Perry is not just stopping at the dress.

He has also given strict instructions to the hairdresser.

'I'd like Lauren to have black and red hair.'

Throw that in with a white dress as well, they're all colours that go together, so it'll look really good.

And Perry's inspiration for his bride-to-be? His dream girl, Paloma Faith.

-What's Perry asked you to do?

-He booked in to have your hair coloured.

-Oh, no way!

Oh, my God!

-He wants you to have something really bright in there.

-Oh!

-I don't know what's happened to Perry. He's like...

-He's got a look and a theme in his mind.

It doesn't take Lauren long to realise who she's being modelled on.

Perry's completely in love, obsessed, besotted with Paloma Faith.

Hopefully, he'll realise he's marrying me and not her!

# All in the blink of an eye... #

He loves Paloma Faith and Lauren loves Robert Pattinson,

but she wouldn't want to change Perry on their wedding day.

But that's not stopping Perry and soon enough, the transformation is complete.

Oh, my God!

It's massive.

Oh, my God!

How do you feel about...? Basically, Perry is just turning you into Paloma Faith.

Maybe she's invited!

You wouldn't want that.

It's the night before the wedding

and Perry has moved out of their flat where he's been living on his own for the past three weeks,

so the girls can move back in to get ready for the big day. But the place is a tip.

I thought it would have been nice and clean, but it's a mess.

The cupboards are bare and the bride isn't happy.

There's nothing for breakfast tomorrow.

-There's no tea!

-No?

-No tea bags?

-There's no tea bags.

-Are you kidding?

-No, I'm not joking.

-There ain't no coffee either.

-But we do have some burnt toast!

Here you are.

Oh, my God!

Perry, what on earth were you thinking, like...?

-Is there nothing at all?

-Not even a cup of tea!

-No coffee.

There's no milk, no tea. Perry should have thought about those things.

-What do you want for breakfast?

-There's nothing to eat for breakfast.

-And you've only just got home.

-I've just got home. It's 20 to 9.

-I'm pissed off.

-Perhaps putting your bride in a mood

the night before you turn her wedding into the spectacle she doesn't want might not be ideal.

It's the morning of the gig-themed wedding and instead of looking forward to seeing her fiance,

the bride is still stewing from the night before.

-Do you feel emotional about today?

-Not at all.

Maybe later, but at the moment, I'm just like... "Blah-blah, whatever!"

I just hope that he's had a shave and got rid of his sideburns.

I don't want to see ginger sideburns today.

Ready to roll, big boy?

Perry has five hours to get his gig venue decorated and ready for the show.

He's also got to build his own wedding cake

which involves putting three cakes one on top of the other.

-How on earth are we going to do this?

-Cut round there.

-Why would you do that?

-Once you stack 'em up, you'll have bits of cardboard sticking out.

-Yeah.

-This thing could take ages.

-It's making me hungry.

Just when grumpy Lauren had almost given up, romantic Perry strikes gold.

Oh, my God! Oh, thank you!

Ironically with flowers which Lauren normally hates.

On Valentine's Day, if Perry sent me red roses, I'd throw them at him,

but red roses for my wedding day, I'm impressed.

-Is that all you do?

-Yes.

I love my hair and make-up.

-Ready?

-Yeah. I feel good, I feel pretty, I feel confident.

Let's get this dress on.

Hello, dress.

-Whoo!

-Yeah!

It's time for Lauren to show off her figure-hugging dress to her adoring fans.

Wow!

I love it!

-How lovely is it?

-It's lovely, Lauren.

I can't quite walk...

But can you get on a scooter?

-Would you like me to put this on?

-Yes, please.

Will it cut off my circulation? That's it, right?

-DOORBELL

-Hello!

-Hello!

-Oh, you look beautiful.

-Thank you, Daddy.

It makes me feel very, very proud of you.

Oh, my God, they're lovely!

And with the back-up girls all in their stage gear...

-I never thought I'd like that colour.

-..it's time to get this act on the road.

-Chop-chop-chop! Are we all ready?

-Yeah, we're ready.

-OK then, we're going.

-Come with me, girls.

-Who's going to lock the door?

20 miles away, Perry is still putting the finishing touches to his Mod-themed reception room.

-What on earth is going on round here?

-They were all right before you joined in.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa!

LAUGHTER

It will take Lauren an hour and a half to get to the venue.

Luckily, Perry has decided against stuffing Lauren on the back of a scooter.

-Oh, my God!

-SCREAMING

He's sticking her on the side of one instead.

I'm going in there? Oh, it's freezing!

Hello!

I don't care, I don't care...

I can't believe it. It reminds me of my youth.

How am I going to get in? I can't get down. Oh, my God!

-Oh, no...

-Health and safety, unfortunately.

-No way!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

I wish I was going on one!

CHEERING

Whilst Lauren sets off for the Forum, Perry is ensuring she makes a grand entrance.

Got the sign. When that switches on, it's going to blow her head off.

Squashed in her sidecar for the long drive, Lauren might want to blow someone else's head off.

She'll probably be doing her nut. She's had her hair and make-up done.

She's got this helmet thrust upon her head. She is probably kicking off!

But there's not much you can do about that

as the bride who didn't want the spotlight is now in central London, drawing a crowd!

Mike! Michael! Let's go, man!

And just 40 minutes before curtain up, Perry has finally made it to the dressing room.

I'm going to be late for my own wedding. Ten to one. I'm getting married at half past!

I think this is Perry all over. We're a bit intrigued to see how Lauren turns up.

The weather's cold and windy. She's going to be frozen!

Here she comes!

Oh, my God!

After a chilly 20-mile journey through the heart of London,

the bashful bride who hoped for a private woodland wedding away from the spotlight

has arrived at the world-famous venue, the Forum.

I'm at the bloody Forum!

How can I get married in there?

I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe it.

Oh, my God, I can't believe I'm here getting married!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, here, here. Thank you very much.

Oh, my God! This is mental.

I'm completely overwhelmed. I can't... I would never have imagined this in my wildest dreams.

It's... It's mental.

Determined to transform his windswept bride into Paloma Faith-style perfection,

Perry has organised a last-minute hairdo before her grand entrance.

I've literally seen so many of my favourite bands in this place performing and I'm getting like...

It like... It would never be something that I would think would be even possible, like...

Oh, my God!

I'm completely overwhelmed, like...

I didn't think I could ever be as happy, ever.

I'm shaking!

After three weeks of waiting, the time has finally come for Lauren to face the music,

Perry's carefully chosen music.

INTRO TO: "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis

CHEERING # How many special people change?

# How many lives are living strange?

# Where were you while we were getting high?

# Slowly walking down the hall

# Faster than a cannonball

# Where were you while we were getting high?

# Some day you will find me

# Caught beneath the landslide

# In a champagne supernova

# A champagne supernova in the sky... #

APPLAUSE

-Lauren, I give you this ring...

-Lauren, I give you this ring...

-As a symbol of our marriage.

-As a symbol of our marriage.

-And I call upon...

-And I call upon...

-..these persons here present...

-..these persons here present...

-..to witness that I, Perry...

-..to witness that I, Perry...

-..do take thee, Lauren...

-..do take thee, Lauren...

-..to be my lawful...

-..to be my lawful...

-..wedded wife.

-..wedded wife.

These last three weeks have possibly been the most agonising, but most joyful time of my life.

And to see you here has made it... And to see you here has made it all worthwhile.

-I've missed you so much.

-I missed you too.

If you would like to place the ring on Perry's finger...

-Have you tried this on?

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

-I, Lauren...

-Do take thee, Perry...

-Do take thee, Perry...

-..to be my lawful wedded husband.

-..to be my lawful wedded husband.

-And to be loving and faithful to you...

-And to be loving and faithful to you...

-..throughout our married life.

-..throughout our married life.

Lauren and Perry,

it gives me great pleasure to tell you that you are now husband and wife together.

Lauren, you may kiss your husband.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-That was all right, wasn't it? Eh?

-Yeah.

This is huge. This is a lot of work and he's done really well.

I thought he would do good, but not this good. This is amazing.

-One, two, three...

-Cheese!

I am impressed with all the little touches. He's done really well.

'I know that Lauren organises everything and in the past, Perry's tried to, but this is perfect.'

He's outdone himself.

With the marriage register signed,

all that's left is to see if Perry has struck the right chord with his Mod-themed reception.

There has been some mish-mash of colours at this wedding!

-Have you seen the tables though, what they are?

-What?

-Look at the pattern.

Oh! Duh!

I see it now.

-Is this my wedding cake?

-Yeah.

-Did you make it yourself?

-Yeah.

-No, you didn't!

-Make it by hand, you mean?

-Yeah.

-No, we just put it all together.

-Put loads of cakes together!

-Yeah.

Where did you get that from?

-Oh, that is the tackiest thing I've ever seen!

-Aw!

Oh... Oh, it tastes nice.

And with the bride's unique stamp of approval, Perry's roast dinner buffet is served.

Not all of it!

APPLAUSE

Lauren Kettles...

Honestly, love, you've been my saviour.

You've been the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was nothing without you. Now...

Now I'm the richest man in the world, everybody. Thank you very much!

He's chosen me to be the best man. I can't thank you enough. You'd have broken my heart if it weren't me.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done.

CHEERING

# Baby, I'm yours

# Baby, I'm yours

# And I'll be yours until the stars fall from the sky... #

Very, very proud of her. I'm proud of Perry.

It's the best gig I've ever been to. It's in lights!

For him, I've really wanted it all to work. Today was absolutely fantastic.

She's had an amazing day. It was so beautiful watching them get married.

# Baby, I'm yours... #

Every decision that he made has been amazing. My dream weddings pale in comparison to this now.

It would never have been anything like this. This is so grand.

-It's on a massive scale. I would never even think it was possible.

-It's been brilliant, class.

I've married more than my Paloma Faith.

Next week, the beach beckons for risk-taking Irishman Rory...

I always remember it to be bigger.

..as he plans an outdoor, Irish seaside wedding...

-That'd be nice.

-..for his patriotic Welsh bride-to-be, Rhiana.

To life as a single woman!

-Will the tide turn...

-It's starting to rain now.

-..for this risk-taking groom?

Or will his wedding be a total washout?

# People try to put us d-down

# Talkin' 'bout my generation

# Just because we get around

# Talkin' 'bout my generation

-# Things they do look awful c-c-cold

-Talkin' 'bout my generation

# I hope I die before I get old

-# Talkin' 'bout my generation

-My generation... #