Daina and Ahmet Don't Tell the Bride

This programme contains some strong language

Every girl dreams of her wedding. But what happens when she has no say

on her big day?

Don't Tell The Bride is back.

This is all for the name of love.

12 gallant grooms are taking control with 12 grand apiece.

Give it to me!

And just three weeks to organise a wedding.

-Absolute idiot.

-They are more daring...

-Why are we here?!

-..more ambitious...

-Why has he done this?

..and more outrageous than ever before.

It's not a joke.

Will the glass slipper fit?

-Oh, my word.

-Hell no.

-Will true love conquer all?

-Horrid, horrid, horrid.

Oh, my God, it's going to be on the beach.

And will there be a fairy tale ending?

Don't like it!

-Is it the right ring?

-Turn that camera off.

Or just a damsel in distress?

-Wishes do come true.

-Sometimes, they don't.

Tonight, the gloves are off as professional boxer Ahmet...

-Bring it on!

-..plans a knockout wedding for his bride-to-be, Daina.

Would you be open to doing this routine in a Michael Jackson outfit?

But while she's inspired by Beyonce and bling,

he's thinking ritzy and elegant.

Posh. Posh, with a twist of us.

-Ghetto.

-Yeah, ghetto.

-With so much at stake...

-I look like an idiot.

..and a bride on the edge of her ringside seat...

I imagined a stripper dancing in front of Ahmet. Don't get me angry.

-Will this ambitious groom...

-I feel like I'm going to pass out.

-How is everyone getting there?

-There's only one car.

-..be able to go the distance?

-Oh, man, I forgot all about that.

Or simply be knocked out in the first round?

Oh, it's going to be some ghetto wedding, man.

Turn it off. I'm not even joking.

When professional boxer Ahmet spotted full-time student

Daina at a London nightclub, he knew he'd found a total knockout.

Creeped up, creeped up, I walked through the crowd, and I poked her,

and she started screaming...

I was not screaming!

And I just thought, "Awkward..."

Like he just came, put his arm around me straightaway.

Even though you're standing here in your military jacket,

your bright red hair, your shiny pants and long nails, I don't care.

I said, "You know what? I'm going to phone you tomorrow."

It was not like that. It was, "I'm going to phone you, yeah?

"I'm going to kiss you on the cheek

"and I'm going to go." And then he kissed me and ran away.

No-one's ever been that comfortable before.

I've never had anyone that's been bold, and I like that.

Three years later,

this image-conscious duo are certain they will go the distance.

She's beautiful, she's fun to be around,

-she's more like my friend, as well.

-You are my best friend, Ahmet.

You're like my lover, but I love you like a sister.

-That's disgusting.

-I know.

It is disgusting, but, you know.

-Got you!

-Ha-ha! Ahmet! He's very funny. He's just very funny.

He's confident, he's determined, he's driven, he's very passionate.

And I like that. He's very ambitious.

# Tearing up the floor... #

Ahmet's not the only one with big ambitions.

-22-year-old Daina is a diva in the making.

-Maybe do that again?

I've been singing since I was, I would say, 14.

And her biggest influence is the King of Pop, Cliff Richard.

Kidding. It's Michael Jackson, obviously.

I am Michael Jackson's daughter.

# Say what! #

It's definitely about the music and it's definitely about the dancing.

While Daina's fighting for fame,

25-year-old Ahmet is aiming for titles.

Started boxing when I was 14.

Boxed for England, national titles, the aim is to be British

and world champion.

Ranked in the UK Top 20,

Ahmet's commitment to his sport is unquestionable.

Anything I do, I put my all in. Anything.

He can hold his own in the ring, but at home,

Daina's is the real heavyweight.

I make all the important decisions in the relationship.

Because most of the time, I'm just focused on what I'm focused on

and I don't care about anything else.

Because, you know, I can't be arsed.

So much so that when it came to getting down on one knee

and proposing to the love of his life, well, he didn't.

I just thought, you know what, he's taking too long for my liking,

-so I'm just going to ask.

-I know I would have proposed eventually.

I don't believe he would eventually have done it.

A lot people might think, "Oh, yeah, she proposed, so it's like you're

"being forced or something." But it's not even that,

because I'm my own person.

I could have said no.

Ahmet may be his own person, but since Daina

moved into his mum's home, he's got two women to answer to.

-Ahmet! Do you want something to eat?

-Coming!

Like Beyonce and Jay-Z, they've even got his-and-hers tattoos.

Putting a ring on it just isn't enough for some people.

They represent that we know what we're thinking, but nobody

else knows what we're thinking, because people don't get us.

People kind of... Never thought we would last.

I've had people just directly like,

"Oh, my gosh, you're still with him?!"

It's now crucial for dominant Daina that Ahmet gives her

the wedding of her dreams.

The wedding day is very important,

just that things go the way I want them to go.

I'm just spoilt.

So if I don't get my own way, I just won't do it,

I'll just be like, "No, not doing it."

I just wouldn't turn up.

And demanding Daina has got something specific in mind.

If I didn't get married in a church,

I don't think I would go through with it, because I'm not

doing this for the law, I'm doing it for God, I'm doing it for us.

Daina may want a traditional ceremony,

but everything else she wants to be different.

If I had a big pink princess wedding, I would feel like an idiot.

Oh, hell yeah. I hate flowers. I don't want a horse and carriage.

I'm not Cinderella. I love this. I don't want to be a normal bride.

I want them to think, "Yeah! She better work!"

So, the bride knows what she likes.

Trouble is, the groom thinks he knows, too.

I want to give Daina a wedding that she wants, you know.

It's going to be chandeliers, you know, posh.

I wouldn't ever want anything posh.

Just because it's posh doesn't mean that we can't do it.

Why can't we have urban and posh, mix them together?

But for this groom with a view, there's just one slight issue.

I've never seen Ahmet plan anything, ever.

I don't think he actually realises how much goes into a wedding.

It's only one day!

For Daina, giving up control won't be easy.

But she's at least hoping it will change Ahmet's ways.

I want Ahmet to plan the wedding,

because I want him to do something for once.

Listen, I'm going to handle this wedding and you're going to like it

and it's going to be a very enjoyable experience.

You'll be smiling, and you'll be like, "Ahmet, you're the best."

-That's it.

-All right.

Please, God, help me.

The time has come for Daina to pack her bags with what

she needs for the next three weeks.

I don't use all this stuff, though, but I don't want to pick.

-It's only three weeks.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

Don't try and act like you don't care! Don't you say,

"It's only three weeks," cos you care.

Let me help you. Get you out of here faster!

I'm joking!

And for a couple who've been inseparable for three years,

saying goodbye is bittersweet.

Daina, I won't miss you if you do this. OK?

DAINA SOBS

Stop!

Next time we see each other, we'll be married. OK?

We'll be married next time. Next time, OK?

I don't like to see her cry. But it just spurs me on even more.

Ten miles away, in Leyton,

east London, Daina is moving back home with her mum and brother.

But with everyone out for the night, it's a lonely homecoming.

Hopefully it's worth it.

I say hopefully. Should be.

Don't know.

It's the first day of wedding planning,

and Ahmet's best man and oldest friend, Nathan, is on hand to help.

-All right?

-All right, yeah.

It's funny, Ahmet the wedding planner. Since I know him,

I know for a fact he doesn't know how to plan a wedding, innit.

I'm thinking, we plan out venues and stuff, churches, receptions...

What churches did you have in mind?

My idea was getting my uncle to marry us, he's a pastor.

He's got a church that he'll marry us at.

But I'm thinking that, I just want a church that can fit a lot of

people and obviously the reception, that's like the main thing, innit?

Almost like, kind of, posh, posh with a twist of us.

-Ghetto!

-Yeah, ghetto!

Ghetto, urban, whatever.

I'm thinking like chandeliers, kind of thing,

fix it up and make it look sick.

-What's in here?

-With planning barely started, Nathan's focused.

On his stomach.

Nathan? Listen to me, man!

I'm listening to you!

We have to get the numbers for the churches

and see if I get permission, and get married on the date! I need to know!

-You need to calm down.

-I am calm.

-You need to calm down.

-I'm calm.

-Stop stressing.

-I'm not stressed.

He might not be stressed, but back in Leyton, Daina is realising

that a man who gets punched in the head for a living is going to

have to think for himself for once.

I think Ahmet will just decide based on what he thinks

I would say if I was there.

That's what I think he will try to do,

but probably will get that wrong, because he doesn't really know,

because most of the time he doesn't listen to me.

So, he's probably going to get all the decisions wrong.

It's not just Daina who's worried.

Her mum, Lauren, has got that sinking feeling.

I know she's worrying about what he's doing.

I know I'm worrying about what he's doing, I can't even sleep.

I'm just scared of what he's going to do. I know he'll be...

Oh, I just don't want him to just spoil her day,

I just really hope he does good.

But what if he thinks that he's making something good, and he ain't?

Because he has done that a couple of times.

He wants to make a surprise for her and it always

turned into a disaster.

Daina is very, very hard to please.

Against the odds, Ahmet's off to a cracking start,

visiting his uncle's Pentecostal church in south London.

It's Ahmet's first time here, but the venue, popular with

the West Indian community, is exactly what Daina wants.

Nah, man. It's more like a... Sunday church service kind of feel.

It hasn't really got that wedding kind of feel.

I want her to walk down that aisle thinking,

"Your life's going to change."

-You seem like you want an echo kind of place.

-Yeah!

Like an auditorium. This is more like a Sunday school, church service.

So, Ahmet's thinking

less West Indian chapel, more Westminster Abbey.

But Daina's dream venue, her mother's Pentecostal church

in Leyton, is uncannily similar to the one Ahmet's not keen on.

This is really nice.

This is nice.

-Yeah. It's got a warm feeling to it.

-Yes!

This is what I want.

After we get married, I want everyone to pick up tambourines

and we're all going to, "Reeeeh!"

And everyone's like, "Yeah!" That'd be really, really good.

NATHAN IMPROVISES TUNELESSLY

Nah, I want that kind of wedding, wedding.

-This is church service, then.

-Like, I want...

SHE IMPERSONATES WEST INDIAN PASTOR

"Ahmet! Will you take..." Stuff like that,

like a proper Sunday service feel, that's what I want it to feel like.

Heavenly Father...!

"Praise the Lord!"

I'm looking for an old vicar kind of church.

I want to say something more Cinderella-ish, if that makes sense.

More Cinderella-ish.

Whatever church he chooses, it has to be warm, we have to

get married in a warm church, not those big, tall, Catholic churches.

-They're always cold.

-The ones with the gargoyles.

I don't like those kind of churches.

I don't like the churches with the stained glass windows.

So, Ahmet's found the perfect venue,

and he's off to tell his uncle that he doesn't want it.

Yes, uncle. Salutations, yeah?

It's a nice church and everything, but in my head,

it's not the church that I want.

Think beyond the church, just for a little bit.

You sure you're doing the right thing?

I haven't seen her in two days and I feel alone!

-I've got a headache and I can't even sleep.

-Oh, dear. All right.

So, you feel the feeling? It's not good to be alone.

We're going to pray. Father, we thank you...

Luckily, Ahmet's uncle has got a direct line to someone

he thinks can help.

Father, they need a proper church to have the ceremony.

There is a place, and you know it.

I'm asking that you make direct comment as he searches.

In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Well, God bless you, sir, and I'm sure you'll find a place.

Turning his back on the church

Daina would have loved, Ahmet may need

some divine intervention, especially with his mum waiting at home.

So, what happened, then?

-The church ain't good.

-OK. So, what are you going to do?

Going to research some today, and I'm going to do it tomorrow.

I've had enough, Mum, I'm going to lay down.

You need to go on the internet, and look for a church.

No, I'll do my research. I'm on it, Mum.

Slow progress, fam.

AHMET GROANS

The next morning, Ahmet's heading

to see another church he's always liked the look of.

It's not the Pentecostal church Daina wants but St Mark's

in Kennington has exactly the grand, posh feel he's after.

First impression of this...

Yeah, it's all right.

Daina gets out the car, she goes up the steps, big pillars...

Yeah.

It's got all the opulent features that he wants and Daina doesn't.

But as it's not his local church, he's meeting the vicar

to see if he can marry here.

-What's your address?

-SE22.

-Daina's address?

-E10.

OK, I can tell you straight off

that neither of those addresses will be within the parish, OK.

Basically, one of you has to have lived in the parish

for at least six months or if one of your parents or grandparents

were married in this church.

Do you think you or Daina qualify in any way...

-..under any of those circumstances?

-I don't think so.

-I don't think so.

The other thing you need to know about the Church of England rules -

we need three weeks, basically, to do the banns of marriage.

-Yeah.

-Now, it seems to me,

from today you've only got two Sundays.

If only I had another week.

That's right, if you only had another week,

I think your options would be much bigger.

The Church really wants to help you but you've got a problem,

you've got a problem about how anyone can do it...

-In that timescale.

-..in that timescale.

OK.

It's a huge set back for Ahmet.

A faltering start means he's out of time on his dream

of a church wedding.

Now, I don't want to go to no registry office.

Go into an office, like I'm going for an interview or something.

Ah, signing papers.

I don't want to get married and that kind of feel.

I want a big church like the one we just went in.

Something like that.

Undeterred and desperate for a majestic church setting,

Ahmet's discovered a chapel in Peckham.

It's got the impressive entrance he wants.

This looks proper. Big doors and that.

Yeah, it's nice.

The problem is, it's been unused for almost 80 years.

So there's no vicar.

It DOES have a licence for civil weddings,

but it's a bombsite.

Cor blimey.

Cor blimey indeed.

It needs a lick of paint.

That's the first thing that comes in my head - lick of paint.

Bombed in World War II,

the only surviving features are the stained glass windows.

Daina will be pleased(!)

But with time and options running out, Ahmet sees potential.

I think I could possibly turn this into something good.

It doesn't look like it now...

but with a lot of love...

this could be turned into something nice.

That's what it's all about in the end, innit? Love.

Well, they say love is blind.

With the registrar and venue hire costing a grand,

Ahmet's meeting the manager to seal the deal.

It's a blank canvas,

so I'm basically going to just rearrange it

and make it into something romantic.

Red carpet, chandeliers, all that - I'm just going to go all out.

-Oh, that'll look amazing.

-I think that's a deal.

-Shake right there.

-Thank you very much.

His first decision made, Ahmet's pleased with himself.

But Daina might not be - he's hired a derelict building

that was once a church, but is no longer a church.

It's not a church being used but it's a church.

You can see it's a church, it was a church.

To my eyes, it still is a church.

OK, Ahmet, it's a church.

Let's pray you can convince your mum.

-MUM:

-Hello, how'd you get on then?

-Yeah, I got a place.

-You got the church?

Yeah, it's a church.

-Yeah, where?

-It's local, about ten minutes away, it's good.

Definitely going to have it for a Sunday.

-And you can get married there on Sunday?

-It's a church!

-You're hiding something.

-I'm not.

-You are.

-I'm not.

-Do they have church services there?

-It's a church.

It's so not a church.

With no idea of Ahmet's choice of bombsite... Erm, church.

..diva Daina is focused on showing mum Lauren, best friend Jamal

and head-bridesmaid Troy her dream dress.

I don't like this, this is like a pencil skirt thing.

But this, I want all of this.

The dress is the most important thing to me about the day.

I feel good when I look good.

If I don't feel that way, then I won't feel he feels that way

and that would just ruin my whole wedding.

HE LAUGHS

Put it right back. Put that right back! Why's it so long?

-I don't like it.

-Classy bird or...

It looks like a granny, it looks like a granny hillbilly dress.

He knows I like to show my legs, I like my legs.

I like short dresses, I don't like straps.

So he probably will pick me a short dress

but it just won't be a nice short dress.

Across town, Ahmet and Nathan have the difficult task of finding

a dress for a bride who's desperate to be different.

I like this Cinderella kind of thing, this is nice.

Woo, big.

Fit seven dwarves under there, innit.

You're practising your winding as well.

HE RAPS AND LAUGHS

If you dance with a rat, you have to practise it.

-SALESWOMAN:

-This one's quite sweet.

-That's nice.

-I like that, it's probably like Cinderella.

Let's see what it looks like in the flesh.

There we go.

-Hey!

-Woo.

Mm-hm.

Yeah, I like this. I'm not sure if Daina's...

If she's going to like the long train because you know we get down...

Like, when it's coming to party time.

What about if I wanted to bring up the front just past the knee.

It can be shorter at the front

-but obviously you've got to get the right proportions.

-Yeah.

So I wouldn't suggest going right up here.

Because you're going to lose the balance then the dress body

is too short for the skirt.

I think I'm not looking in the right place right now.

I need something that's going to make a statement.

The dresses in the shop are a bit typical.

Typically, Daina's found a dream dress that does make a statement.

ALL: Wow.

I love this dress.

-Oh, my God.

-Same here.

Yes, honey.

-Yes, yes.

-Oh, it's so pretty.

-Yeah, it's proper.

Everything about it's perfect from this material to the contrast.

-This.

-The perfect dress for you.

Is Ahmet going to be loving this dress and getting this dress? Nope.

Oh, gosh. Back to reality.

I have to have this.

If I don't have this, it has to be something better.

I'm scared.

And I don't see how Ahmet could find something better than this.

Oh, dear.

Determined to find something unique and boutique,

Ahmet and Nathan are heading to swanky Islington in north London.

And having dismissed a long princess as too safe for his bride,

he's chosen...

Well, he's chosen something almost identical.

That looks all right.

-It's got the beautiful princess fairytale.

-Yeah.

But I don't know, like, Daina with her style...

she would want something that's a bit more different as well.

It's like it was tailored to her.

-It's risky business getting a dress and altering it.

-It is risky but...

You know, I want Daina to have that unique affect.

As Ahmet sets about "alterising" a designer dress...

..Daina's getting down and dirty with hers.

I'll be walking down the aisle like it's a catwalk.

"What do you mean?" Yeah.

This is perfect, I can literally dance in this and everything.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

Do a duck walk.

ALL: Yeah!

Oh, this is probably the worst part of this whole experience.

Looking at something that I probably just won't even have.

All I can just do is hope that this one time he won't get it wrong.

Under pressure to get it right,

Ahmet's called in the dress designer to bring his ideas to life.

Yeah, well, I'm trying to be a bit creative here.

You know, trying to add my little touches.

Like, you see where it comes up past the knee round here?

I'm thinking to have the whole dress all the way round at that length.

More like a tutu.

As long as he doesn't get "too-too" carried away!

This is sort of what you want?

He's getting carried away, isn't he?

REALLY carried away.

Obviously pleating that way just to like a crystallised tail.

Crystallised tail?

Put some gems on there, you see my idea?

-Yeah, man.

-It's a goer, innit? Think I should take the chance?

Amazing what you can do with some bulldog clips.

-Mm-hm.

-Word to the mother.

-Altogether, that's £1,868.

-Woo-hoo!

Do you know what?

Like I said, you only get one dress but that's a big cut from my budget.

Sold. Oh, that handshake was expensive,

that's probably the most expensive handshake I've ever had.

So, for almost a sixth of his budget,

Ahmet's completely redesigned a designer dress.

That is the most money I've ever spent on a piece of clothing

but it is customised. You're not going to get another one.

That's a piece made by Ahmet.

Hopefully, she'll appreciate it.

You know.

Let's just hope, all I can do is hope, it's in God's hands now.

It's in your hands.

One week in and Daina's taking best friend Jamal to see a venue

she'd choose for her reception.

And for this fame-hungry bride,

it has to be one of London's top celebrity haunts.

-Ooh.

-That's really, really nice.

I'm loving this, this is really nice.

Cos we'll all...

Does it feel, when you're in a club...

-Exactly, you literally eat...

-Dance, you sweat it out.

Get up and dance straight.

Just go crazy.

You don't have to think about ruining stuff.

-Cos it is a club.

-This would be the perfect place.

Over in east London, Ahmet's got his eye on a reception venue too.

He wanted posh but this old town hall is less VIP, more OAP.

Oh, wow. I like this.

I love the...

The decor.

-Yeah, this is nice.

-It's a theatre.

It's spacious. Let's go.

It'll hold all 150 guests.

Great, it's enough to make you... Well, do this.

DANCE MUSIC

They seem to like it.

But while the boys are in a spin,

Daina's got her heart set on a more risque form of entertainment.

I would have it at the wedding for sure.

It's your personality.

We're crazy, we're wild and let's have fun.

Would you be open to doing this routine in a Michael Jackson outfit?

STRIPPER: That can be done.

-That's it, sold.

-Yes!

That's it, it's done, I love it.

Can you imagine? While everything's going on, partying's going on...

You've got a girl hanging from the ceiling.

We've got a girl hanging from the ceiling in a Michael Jackson outfit!

Back in Shoreditch,

there's something hanging from Ahmet's ceiling too.

This is quite elegant, you know?

You've got chandeliers, nice decor on the balcony.

It is nice in here.

When it's all done up, it could be nice, really nice.

You couldn't put this in, like, a hall.

You don't want a normal wedding.

I don't want people to think, OK, we're going to go

and just go to just a regular hotel or a banquet suite

-to do the reception.

-That would be nice.

But it's not nice for me.

Imagine when I start putting lights and fixing it up and whatnot.

Daina would like this, I think, as well.

You need the club.

-Mm.

-We literally have to have a club.

-How would you feel if Ahmet doesn't get you a club?

-I'd be gutted.

I think I'm just going to go to the straight question of how much is it?

You're looking at 4,500, which is a 14-hour day.

I know it is pretty soon and I'm on a budget.

I'm probably thinking, like...two and a half?

It could be possible, I'd have to speak to our sales manager

and she'll be able to say yes or no.

-OK, nice one.

-Cheers, thank you.

-Nice one.

Two and a half grand later

and Ahmet's booked an old-fashioned, opulent town hall...

without a VIP rope in sight.

Daina would like that place.

-Mm.

-You know, if I fix it up, the visualisation that I'm giving to you,

-you know she'll like it.

-Word to the mother, son!

Over the next few days, with best man Nathan at work,

Ahmet's left alone to bag some essentials.

First stop, wedding rings.

I finally got her ring.

A snip at 35 quid.

Next, a cut-price flower girl dress.

I think she's about that big.

I can't remember. Why am I putting it against my chest like I'm wearing it?

Cheers, nice one.

And he's even bargain shopping for Daina's shoes.

They look all right, they'll go with her dress.

I think she'll like these.

Cheers, bye.

And with those discounts in the bag, he needs one more item...

I'm looking for the stag jacket, innit.

This time, there's no expense spared.

I spend nearly two grand on her.

Just for one item.

Come on, man, I need something to make me smile.

-SALESMAN:

-750, I'm going to do you for £500.

-It's on offer for your wedding.

-OK. Thank you very much.

All right, take care.

With a week until the wedding, and no news from Ahmet,

Daina, her mum and Jamal are hitting the hard stuff -

it's time for ice cream.

So far I haven't had an invitation so are we even having a wedding?

I don't know, I have to wait on an invite as well.

I don't know where I'm going.

I don't know if it's even in London.

Much less England. I don't known nothing!

What if he's done nothing?

I'm not going to lie, I'm getting a bit worried.

My concern is having Ahmet's stag-do.

-Cos if Nathan does it...

-I'm thinking strip club as well.

Yeah, make her all dance up on his lap and everything.

Oh, my gosh, I've lost my appetite.

My stomach just turned when you said that.

I imagined a stripper... dancing in front of Ahmet.

Don't get me angry.

If he goes to a strip club, he knows how I'm going to react.

So he best know me and walk straight out of that strip club if that happens.

# You're a troublemaker you're a troublemaker... #

Across town, Ahmet's stag party is under way,

-with not a stripper in sight.

-Come on, lads, let's go.

Well, not till they get inside, anyway.

This is what I did not want, you get me?

I don't know why they took me to a strip club. I don't understand that.

-I know Daina's not going to like it. Nathan is an idiot.

-Let's do this.

I've never been to a strip club and I never planned to go to a strip club.

Now you're here, bro.

It's all right, having a bit of fun in there.

Wa-hey! Whoa! Get in there, sonny Jim!

Ahmet got a nice little dance.

Two lovely birds shaking, wiggle, wiggle.

I was very jealous, very jealous. I wish that was me.

No, I didn't have a lap dance.

Um, is that lipstick on your cheek?

Awkward.

Oh, yeah, they all chipped in together and bought me a dance,

but I just sat there and closed my eyes.

Like, OK, you're wasting your money.

They're all laughing, laughing, laughing. I just want to go, man.

I want Daina.

If she finds out about tonight, you'll want a stretcher.

With only days till the wedding,

Ahmet sent Daina to Walthamstow, east London.

She's been told to find a spot marked by an X

and await instructions.

What she doesn't know is that Ahmet is watching her every move,

and has planned a thriller of a wedding

invite for Michael Jackson fan Daina.

-I don't get it.

-What's happening?

-I'm really confused.

-I'm confused.

-I'm confused.

MUSIC: "Thriller" by Michael Jackson

SHE SCREAMS AND LAUGHS

# ..Something evil's lurking in the dark

# Under the moonlight... #

Not only has Ahmet arranged a flash mob,

but he's even booked a special guest.

SHE SCREAMS

That's Nathan! Nathan!

The invitation!

"You're getting married this Friday. See you at the altar.

"I can't wait to see you and call you my wife. Love you, Ahmet."

Give me a hug, you.

It's all about making her happy, man.

But with just three days' notice to her wedding

and a shoddy invite, she's not completely happy.

It's not a lot of time to be prepared,

but I'm literally really excited.

He could've got a better invite, though!

That's from your uni book, probably.

This actually looks like my notebook.

One surprise down, one to go.

This time, it's for Daina's bridesmaids.

Ahmet has bought their dresses online,

-and the big surprise is it's these or nothing.

-You know what this is.

These are the lovely dresses I bought you online.

I think they're nice, so you'd better like them,

cos you're going to be wearing them.

And at £11 each, they're a bargain.

Do you know what? I can never tell what a dress looks like

until I see it on a girl. Because everything just looks like big cloth.

I'm not really going to know. Look at me, I can't even unfold the dress.

Jeez. It's like I'm making it more tangled.

What the hell is going on? What is this?

That's not how the dress looks like on the back. Really?

Oh, my days, what am I doing? Why is it like this?

-Oh, I'll deal with it later.

-I hope it's nice. I hope it fits right.

I don't even want to think about it.

-We're going to make it look good, don't worry.

-Try it. Damn.

Those are your dresses.

Ahmet, we're not going clubbing! Oh, my God.

When I went online, I looked at the model in the picture, it looked good.

-Yeah, she's a model.

-You guys are models. Look at you.

All right, let's just go try them on.

-Don't worry, man, you guys will look good.

-Right.

-Ahmet, if they don't look right...

-You look all right.

I'm kind of happy with that reaction.

I thought they were going to be like, "What the hell? Get out of here."

Let's see what it looks like when it's on, do you know what I mean?

-That's nice.

-Yeah, it's nice for clubbing.

-But it's sexy. It's good.

I like it. I would advise you to keep that dress for future.

I'm telling you, it's good. I won't lie to you. Trust me, it looks good.

You both look good in that.

There's good-looking people at this wedding, man. Show it off.

-He's trying to set us up with his mates.

-You cheeky...

THEY LAUGH

It can run man, it's nice. I like them.

The more I look at it in the mirror,

the more I feel they're nice dresses. It probably could work.

They just need to be jazzed up.

He did all right.

I've never really known a bridesmaid dress to be so...sexy.

But Daina does like sexy.

He made the right choice with the dresses. I'm nervous.

I am.

Sex is back, baby. Do you know what I mean? Sexy is back.

MUSIC: "Bringing Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake

So, you know, that was your cue to put # I'm bringing sexy back... #

I'm bringing sexy back and I walk away.

Two days to go and the boys have finally decided to check how

much of their budget they have left. Well, it might be handy to know.

Let's do the big numbers, man.

500 + 600 + 2,592.

-Tell me that number.

-10,328.

They've paid for some essentials - caterers, the cake,

suits, a stag jacket and a lap dance.

-But there's just one grand left and lots to sort.

-Oh, my word.

The budget you have, that's not going to cover everything at all.

It's not even funny.

The budget all but spent, Ahmet's posh wedding may be anything but.

I'm not good at this.

Told you, write things down, take off how much things have cost.

Instead of saying could have, would have, should have,

what are we going to do right now?

It's two days to the wedding

and he's only just figured out that he's overspent.

Ridiculous. He should have been budgeting from day one.

I've got the red carpet just delivered, red carpet going down.

I'm going to put tea lights going all the way down.

I thought you'd have trees.

What am I going to do, pull some plants out of the front

and just throw them down with the roots showing?!

-What is that going to look like?

-You're laughing at me.

It's not even funny.

This red carpet, walking down the red carpet with no trees.

-It's going to be a ghetto wedding, man.

-Say the word ghetto again.

-Ghetto ain't good.

-Yeah, I think it's all gone pear shaped.

With time and money running out, Ahmet is heading back

-to his reception venue to weigh up his options.

-I feel under pressure.

In a way, it's kind of exciting. It shouldn't be exciting.

I should be scared, man.

I should be disappearing for a couple of days,

and hopefully it will blow over.

The venue have agreed to provide 15 tables, so Ahmet has two days

to find chairs, table dressing, plates and cutlery for 150 guests.

-So, how do you see the room being laid out?

-DJ up there.

-OK.

-Possibly. Or maybe down here. I don't know. Probably down here.

-Speakers, whatever.

-OK.

-Can I see a table?

-Of course you can.

Hold on a second. What about these chairs?

They're just old chairs, we're in the process of getting rid of them.

-I'll make them brand-new.

-We don't charge for them.

We don't charge as well? Can I have a hug, please?

-Thank you.

-And he's straight onto his mum to report the good news.

There's old chairs there, they're going to get rid of them,

but with white covers, that's it! And I can have them for free.

So, that's hallelujah right there, isn't it? Do you know what I mean?

All right, my battery is low. All right, bye-bye.

My battery's not really low, I just said that to get off the phone.

Oldest trick in the book.

With just a day to go,

Daina is off to see the £1,800 tutu dress Ahmet so carefully customised.

-This is it.

-Look at that dress.

That lacy looking Little Bo Peep looking... I'm scared now.

I'm hoping there's something completely not this inside.

-Can I wait outside?

-No, you have to come in with me.

I can't do this by myself.

Hello! Lovely to meet you. Hi. How you feeling?

Scared. Really scared.

Shall we go into the changing room?

-Oh, gosh.

-Ready?

-Yeah.

I'm actually shocked.

He actually chose a short dress.

I'm not crazy on the train.

I'm not even crazy on the back either. Oh, no. No.

No. I think I might change my mind if I put it on.

I might fall in love with this cape thing. Who knows?

I'll try and fall in love with the cape for the sake of Ahmet,

cos I really don't like this cape!

SHE SIGHS

I'm scared.

I'm really scared. Looking at the dresses in here, I really am scared.

I'm scared of what her dress is going to look like.

-Sorry.

-Why are you laughing?

-You look like a fairy.

-I look like a fairy?

SHE CHUCKLES

You just said I looked like a fairy.

It's nice.

Does it look like I'm wearing a cape?

No, but it looks like you've got some...bum pad!

SHE CACKLES

I turned and it makes you laugh,

you're not making this any better, you're laughing.

Because it just goes like this, and it's got a cape on it.

It's like, OK. Trying to hide an elephant. The cape needs to go.

-Didn't like the cape when I looked at it in the back.

-Neither do I.

-It's like you're Elvis at the back.

-Is it like an Elvis cape?

"Thank you very much."

I don't want to look like fairy Elvis, thank you very much!

So that's the tiara.

What about now?

You're proper just making me not want to look at this dress.

It's time for Daina to see herself in her full glory.

I look like an idiot.

Mm-mm. Hell, no.

I don't know what to do. So this dress was just cut?

Yes, it was floor length, so all the underskirt and petticoats

-and everything have been shortened.

-I wonder if it could be cut more.

-I don't know. Ask him.

-He's just gotten it slightly wrong.

Mum, don't you think you can call him and ask him

if they can alter this?

Hello.

We looked at the dress and everything,

-we want to know if we can alter.

-Oh, don't get on my nerves. Really?

Something has to be done, cos she doesn't like the front.

HE GROANS

With no money, all Ahmet can offer are minor alterations.

OK, cool. Bye.

So the designer has been given the go-ahead to fit the dress.

-And, with a bit more leg, Daina is a lot happier.

-Yes, now I like it.

-Now I like it as well.

-Now it looks like you.

Now that it's been slightly altered at the front, I really,

really love this dress.

It's lovely.

-That's all it needed.

-The perfect dress.

-Yes!

Look at the train! As soon as he pinned up just the front.

-Yes, that was a big difference.

-The cape doesn't even matter any more.

-He can have the cape.

-The butt cape.

LAUGHTER

With time running out, Ahmet is desperate to see his posh

reception venue all dressed up, but there's a problem.

We haven't been contracted to set up the chairs and tables.

-Just put them on?

-Just put them on.

-Just the chair covers.

We don't actually have the manpower to do it.

-And we've only got till six o'clock.

-What time is it now? Wow.

Have you got any friends you can call?

-As many friends as possible.

-Yeah, yeah.

So, right now, I'm by myself

and I basically need to man together right now, innit?

I can't pick these tables up by myself.

Bruv, bruv, it's the ASAP thing right now.

-I can't believe this.

-Where's your best man?

Isn't he supposed to be your sidekick?

Yeah, he is supposed to be but I don't know where he is right now.

I'm going to see how heavy the chairs are.

As a goodwill gesture I'll see if I can help you.

So, do you think you can manage the tables?

I'll try. How many do you think you can take?

-That much?

-Right.

I can do three.

What's 150 divided by three?

How many times I'll have to go up and down the stairs.

This is a joke, man.

Sadly, it's no joke.

Ahmet has just two hours to set up an entire reception venue.

HE PUFFS AND PANTS

But the last three weeks have taught him something.

If you ever get married, yeah, don't you be in charge of nothing.

Yeah?

It's the morning of the wedding

and along with bridesmaids Charelle, Troy and Paige,

Daina's waiting for something special from her groom.

The shoes you'll be wearing today...

Oh, hell, no.

Hell, no.

You would never put those on your feet.

Ahmet knows I would never, ever, ever, ever

pick up these and buy them.

E-ver!

The thing is, you haven't tried them on yet. You never know.

Try them on?!

-These are what you're wearing to your wedding.

-Are you serious?

-Yeah.

Are you serious?

The shoes have bombed,

but oblivious, Ahmet's working on the chapel,

which, funnily enough, was also bombed.

This is a nightmare!

How long have you got left?

About now I'm saying, "Ten minutes."

Get home, shower, ten minutes changed, get here at 3.30pm.

Cor.

Back in Leyton, Ahmet's put his creative flair to something else -

Daina's make-up.

Oh, wow!

This is so bright.

He was very specific about the colours.

Red, gold and white.

If he's picked this colour scheme for the wedding,

why does it have to be all over my face?

15 minutes later,

shock has turned to tears.

-Jamal, I look like a clown.

-Yeah.

-It's way too much make-up.

-I really feel like a clown, a drag queen.

With the wedding turning into a circus,

it's phone call time.

-Hello, hello, hello?

-Basically, the make-up

-is not working out.

-Really?

-She looks kind of a clown right now.

-Oh, my days.

She's going to do it herself, cos she said she can do it better.

-Do, that then.

-But I want to know, what time's the wedding?

Don't worry, someone's going to pick you up, man.

-Literally, we're running around. What's going on?

-Get dressed.

Get dressed, man. Get dressed. I'll give you an hour and a half.

Oh, sugar.

All right, then. See you. Bye.

-You have less than an hour.

-That's fine.

Oh, my day. Too much to do.

This is crazy.

An hour later and looking less like Coco the Clown,

Daina's ready to inspect her bridesmaids.

ALL: Oh!

Make-up, make-up!

-I love it.

-That's good. I'm happy now.

Oh, my gosh. Guys!

Out of time, boxer Ahmet's already feeling like he's done 12 rounds.

-I'm going to pass out, man.

-You ain't going to pass out.

I feel like I'm going to pass out.

-What if Daina gets there before me?

-She won't.

Let's go.

THEY SHRIEK

Oh, I love it!

-Do it, do it, do it!

-Dip.

THEY CHEER

It's been a roller-coaster morning,

but Daina's finally getting in the mood.

She's even wearing those £20 trainers

and with Ahmet arranging for his uncle to drive Daina

and her brother, nothing's bringing this bride down.

It's not a limo, but...

Oh, well, it's taking me to see my man, so bye.

LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

Problem is, that car is the only car.

Where's the taxi, or whatever we're getting?

-We don't know how we're getting there?

-Honestly, this is not funny.

How are we getting there? I'm calling now.

Oh, my gosh. I'm really trying not to be stressed right now.

-Hello, Ahmet?

-Hello?

How's everyone getting there? There's only one car.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. I forgot about them.

Car-wise.

-Has she gone?

-We can't go nowhere.

-Shit, I forgot all about that.

-Oh, shit.

-We have to leave now, or she won't be getting married.

Oh, my gosh. The stress.

Oh, my days.

With boxer Ahmet on the ropes,

it's down to Daina's friends and family to sort their own cars.

Is it going to work?

I'm not getting in the car till I know it's going to work.

It's going to work. You get in the car first.

Someone's going to have to come with me in this car.

Come. You get in the car. We have to run now.

But with no space, mum Lauren is forced to squeeze in

with Daina and her brother.

The bridal party finally leaves an hour later than planned.

One, two, three... Two people go with Daina, sit next to her.

Troy drives.

Yeah.

Can't forget transportation.

That was the first thing after planning where it's going to be

and whatever he's going to do.

Car, transportation.

That should have been the next on the list before anything else.

You're going to marry somebody and you don't want them to get there.

No?

Angry mother-in-law en route, then.

Still, with his derelict church dressed and guests arriving,

Ahmet can't worry about Daina's mum being cross,

not when his mum's cross too.

I'm very disappointed.

I wouldn't have chose this building at all.

He could have chose somewhere much better, I think so.

I don't think she'll like it.

What is this?

This isn't a church.

It's a church!

OK, it's not a church and she's gutted.

A bit like the church that isn't really a church.

I can't even stress about this. Nothing is going to ruin today.

Not even these big pillar things.

Ladies and gentlemen,

can I ask you all to stand for the entrance of the bridal party?

Do you take Daina to be your lawful, wedded wife?

I do. I will, yeah.

-LAUGHTER

-..to be loving,

faithful for the rest of your lives together?

-I do.

-I give you this ring as a token of my love.

These promises I make to you for the rest of my life.

..to be faithful always.

SHE CRIES

LAUGHTER

It is both a pleasure and a privilege to declare you are now

husband and wife together.

CHEERING

-How do you feel, girl?

-Really, really, really happy.

-All right.

You look fine, too. Mmm-hmm.

So after all Ahmet's hard work, it seems Daina's happy.

Just not with the venue.

This venue ain't the one. The stained glass windows.

-It's like a death place.

-Oh, OK.

-Or the dress.

-Don't like this. This is Elvis coat.

-Oh, well.

-And what are these shoes?

-SHE LAUGHS

-But I just tried, innit?

-I'm fine.

-I don't care.

-You look beautiful.

-I don't care.

She does care, and she's not stopping there.

-You didn't even get cars.

-Do you know what?

I've been running around like a madman.

I don't plan to ever do this again.

Obviously, I'm not going to get married again but, you know,

I'm not doing it.

And as the journey continues to the reception,

Daina's questioning takes a dangerous turn

onto the subject of Ahmet's stag party.

-Where did you go?

-Went to a club.

-What club?

-A boozy club.

Did you go to a strip club?

Were there strippers there?

-Do you know what..?

-Ahmet, there were strippers there?!

-Daina...

Daina. Daina. Daina.

-Listen...

-I don't care. Please turn that camera off. No.

I beg you turn that off right now. I'm not even joking.

-There were strippers there?

-Nathan brought me there.

-There were strippers, Ahmet.

-Don't get twisted, Daina.

-Why should I get out of the car?

-I never disrespected you.

Emotions high, all of Ahmet's plans are hanging in the balance

and with 150 of their closest friends and family waiting inside,

it's an awkward arrival.

Trust me. Trust me, Daina.

-Daina, listen. Look at me.

-I don't want to hear it. I really don't.

-I didn't want to be there, Daina.

-I don't want to hear it.

My defence is I got taken there and nothing else appeals to me but you.

But it's the truth.

-You shouldn't be upset because you said...

-Why wouldn't I be upset?

-You should know, Daina, I only have eyes for you.

-I don't care.

I don't care.

The fact I was there, OK, I understand.

Whatever. Can we just do this?

I wouldn't...

Oh, allow me.

See?

She might be icy now,

but will the bride who wanted a VIP nightclub reception

warm to this elegant, old venue,

which Ahmet painstakingly prepared himself?

Yeah, I'm just trying to, you know...

This is my designing,

you know...

What do you think?

Yes!

Come on, let me show you.

She may not have wanted to be a princess on her big day,

but what about a queen?

You like our chairs?

I'm shocked.

This is us.

Like I said, you're my queen.

You didn't do this.

-I didn't do this?

-No, you didn't.

-Yes, I did!

-No, you didn't.

I did do it! Oh, my gosh!

-Everything here is my creation.

-This is really nice.

It's really, really nice.

Still don't believe you, though.

-I think I deserve a kiss on the cheek.

-No, no, no, you don't!

-Come on.

-No.

This is really, really nice.

Ahmet's posh reception has saved the day.

Although he may not like the result.

Do you know what this is actually showing me? That you are just lazy.

-I'm lazy?!

-Yeah, you are.

Because if you're capable of doing this,

why do you make me do everything?

You actually have ideas.

-Yeah.

-They're good ones.

-I learned from the best, Daina.

So Daina has been won over and so have the guests.

It's lovely!

I can't have expected more. This is perfect. It's actually perfect.

Look at this. This is great. This is fantastic.

So, can we first of all give a round of applause

to Ahmet for an incredible, incredible wedding?

I'm really proud of you, Ahmet. Well done. You done good.

Basically, my little Dainy-wane,

you're a wifey now.

I wish you and your new bride happiness and peace.

To Ahmet and Daina.

So, after three weeks apart, was it all worth it?

You done amazing. I couldn't have planned better.

I think you know me better than I know myself.

Cos half of the stuff I said I would never like, I like. I love.

It was definitely a lot of ups and downs but it was all worth it.

Don't you feel I've earned a kiss?

You earned more than a kiss.

-Oh!

-But that's not for the cameras.

Come on, guys. Don't just watch, join in.

Next time, action man Kev plans a sky-high wedding.

The end of your life is near.

But without his bride-to-be, Trish, to rein him in...

It's the most stupidest idea you've ever had

in your whole life, entire life.

..will daredevil Kev...

Looking out the window thinking, "I'm jumping out in a minute."

..pull off his soaring ceremony...

SHE SCREAMS

..or will he simply crash and burn?

It's damage limitation now.

I'm having a panic attack.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd