Jacqueline & Sylvia/Tracy, Theresa & Lesley Family Finders

Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons.

Oh, I had no information at all about where my mum went.

And when you do lose touch with your loved ones...

You don't know who you are, where you've come from.

..finding them can take a lifetime...

I might have a brother that's still living here.

..especially when they could be anywhere, at home or abroad.

And that's where the Family Finders come in.

From international organisations...

Hi, it's The Salvation Army Family Tracing Service.

..to genealogy detective agencies...

For someone to say that it's changed their life,

it makes coming to work, you know, really, really special.

..and dedicated one-man bands...

It's a matter of how much effort you really want to put into it,

how badly you want to solve the problem.

..they hunt through history to bring families back together again.

Finding new family is wonderful.

In this series, we follow the work of the Family Finders.

Suddenly, you get one spark of breakthrough and there they are.

Learning the tricks they use

to track missing relatives through time...

I didn't think I'd ever find sisters, but I have.

..and meeting the people whose lives they change along the way.

I've been waiting to meet John my whole life.

Since we've met, I feel part of a family again.

You've just completed my life for me.

In the search for long-lost relatives,

if finding a distant family member can be an extraordinary moment,

then finding a sibling can be a momentous event.

Across the UK, there are hundreds of organisations who specialise

in bringing brothers and sisters who have lost touch back together.

But many people decide to turn family finder on their own.

Today, we follow two stories of sisters who started out

by doing it for themselves.

First, we meet Jacqueline, whose quest to find out about her

birth mother uncovered a sibling she never knew she had.

Suddenly, there was someone in my life...

..who I could identify with, really.

I cried.

And it was my sister.

And we follow the story of Teresa and Tracey as they search

for the sister they haven't seen for 40 years.

-I've got butterflies in my stomach.

-Have you?

-What about you?

Uh, I've got a massive moth, I think.

Oh, this is getting almost unbearable.

Actress Jacqueline Clarke has spent a career playing out the fictional

dramas of other people's lives on both stage and screen.

But the true story of Jacqueline's own family life has also taken

several dramatic turns.

She was born in 1942 and grew up in south-west London.

I remember my mother always, because she was a pianist,

playing in the morning, which was glorious,

so I was brought up with a lot of music.

Not that I understood much about classical.

And I remember going down to the local sweet shop with my father

because we had coupons in those days, it's just after the war.

While Jacqueline was still a young child, her mother revealed

something that was to change her world forever.

I was nine when I was told and she called me in from the garden.

She said, "Sit down, darling, I want to tell you something.

"It's something important. Your father didn't want to tell you,

"but I think it's important that you know."

And then she said, "Do you know Daddy and I adopted you?"

"Your mother was a young girl

"and she couldn't keep you, darling, and we went and chose you,

"you're very special and we love you very much." All that went on.

And I said, "So, do you mean I don't belong to you?"

And she said, "Well, you do belong to us, darling, of course, you do."

I went to the bottom of the garden and sobbed.

I was...

..so disappointed that they weren't my real mummy and daddy.

And I thought, "OK, it's all right, you know, it'll be fine."

And I thought, "I'm not going to talk to them about it,"

because I know my mother found it so difficult to tell me

because Father really didn't want to tell me.

And I thought, "OK, it'll be all right."

OK, then got myself together and decided, that's it, I'll just go in.

I went in and had tea and it was never spoken about.

Jacqueline's parents never mentioned her history again,

and she put it to the back of her mind.

During my teenage years, during growing up, getting married,

it never crossed my brain about even thinking about finding out

about my birth family at all.

It was only after that my father died that I sort of thought,

"Ooh, I might want to know about it," but I wouldn't have done

because Mother was still alive.

When she died five years later, then I thought, "Hmm."

After the death of her adoptive parents,

Jacqueline decided to search for her biological mother.

She employed a professional family finder

and, eight months later, received a call.

My genealogist said,

"Are you sitting down and have you someone with you?"

I thought, "Well, why do I need that?"

So I didn't sit down and I didn't have anybody with me

and I rang and I was told,

did I know I had a sister?

30 miles away in Reading, siblings Tracey and Teresa knew

nothing about an older sister

until a knock on the door one day in 1974.

Our parents, they'd gone out shopping

and I can remember before they went, our mum said,

"If anyone knocks on the door, don't answer the door."

And lo and behold, there was a knock on the door

and this couple at the doorstep, and a lady with dark hair,

that's all I can remember and they asked, "Is your mum and dad in?"

It was like, "No. Sorry, Mummy's not back.

"They'll be back in half an hour."

And then my mum and dad came back from the shops,

they greeted them as if they knew each other.

I can remember feeling as a little child thinking,

"How come they know them? I don't know them.

"I've never seen them before. Who's that?"

It wasn't until some months later that the girls learnt

the true identity of the mysterious lady called Lesley

who had turned up at their door.

Our dad sat us down and said,

"Actually, Lesley is your sister." He was married before.

-So, that was the first...

-That was the first we knew.

-Yeah.

Teresa and Tracey began to build a relationship with their

17-year-old big sister, Lesley.

It was quite exciting to know that we had another sister.

I used to love going round there and staying overnight.

We remember going to a function.

-We are assuming it was her wedding that we attended.

-Hm.

But Lesley didn't stay in their lives for long.

After Tracey and Teresa's parents moved house, they lost contact.

As the years went by, Teresa and Tracey grew up

and started families of their own, but thoughts of their

long-lost sister were never far from their mind.

We've always wondered where Lesley was,

always wanted to know how she was and where she was.

So ten years ago, after taking up genealogy as a hobby,

Teresa decided to look for Lesley.

Teresa started with the two things she knew about their older sister.

First, her name at birth, Lesley Probert.

Secondly, because Teresa and Tracey thought they remembered being

at her wedding, they assumed Lesley had married.

I found her birth and I found her birth certificate,

but I was trying to find her marriage.

And we were pretty sure it was around 1974. I tried everything.

I thought maybe she'd reverted back to her mum's maiden name

or anything like that but no.

-We just drew a blank.

-We just drew a blank, yeah.

Then in October 2015, something happened that was to make

their quest to find their sister all the more urgent.

Brian, the father they shared with Lesley, died.

I felt that she deserved to know that her dad had passed away,

whether she had a relationship with him or not.

You know...

I think you've got to know these things, haven't you?

Desperate to find their sister, it was then that Tracey and Teresa

turned to a professional family finding company.

But would the professionals have any more luck in tracing Lesley

than Teresa and Tracey?

All this waiting and finally...it's going to happen, isn't it?

Oh, my God!

Television and theatre actress Jacqueline Clarke hadn't been

looking for siblings when she started delving into the

circumstances surrounding her adoption, but now it looked like

she had uncovered a sister she never knew she had.

I didn't cry, strangely enough, which I thought I might blub,

but I didn't and I thought, "Wow!"

But because that sister was an unknown being,

I didn't even think what she might look like,

I didn't think anything about it.

I just thought, "Oh, this is wonderful,"

cos I'd always wanted a sister.

And I thought, "Oh, this is another adventure and I've

"got to follow this one up."

The next stage was to make contact.

The genealogist wrote a letter to the woman she suspected

to be Jacqueline's sister.

70 miles away that letter landed on the mat of Sylvia Bowman.

When I opened it, that was a shock.

It was from an adoption agency

questioning if I could kindly help

because they were seeking some

relatives from a person named Valerie.

When I saw that name...

Well, I did, I cried.

And it was my sister.

MOUTHS

Sorry.

And this lady asked me...

..if I wanted to find her.

Anyway, yes, I did. She had given me a date.

I couldn't wait for two o'clock.

Then suddenly, the phone goes and it's two o'clock, dead on two

and I pick it up and I hear, "Could I speak to Mrs Gosney, please?"

And I went, "Hello, Sister."

She went, "Oh, I don't believe it!"

Jacqueline had found her sister and now they had made contact,

the sisters could start filling in the blanks about just what

had happened 70 years ago.

Sylvia was born two years before Jacqueline.

She was adopted at the age of four.

Being told I was adopted was because of my friend, close friend,

she was adopted too.

And so, I remember talking about her and saying to my mother that she

was adopted and I probably wasn't aware what it meant.

So then Mum chose to tell me that I was similar to her,

that I was adopted, they cared for me.

Now after 70 years apart, the two sisters were back in touch.

They wasted no time in meeting up.

We were going up the stairs and my daughter as we just got to the

top of the stairs said, "Mummy, she's here."

Fell into each other's arms, that was it. Just spontaneously.

I can't believe it.

We hugged and we cried.

And then we went for a drink and we just stayed there for hours...

..just talking and laughing.

And she is such a live wire. She's lovely. And it just clicked.

You're never quite sure how long you've got to look at each other

cos I thought, "Oh, that's what you look like."

I was really chuffed. She looked great.

And we chatted from 11.30 to 3.45.

It's as if I'd known her for years.

No airs and graces, it was just so natural

and so lovely.

The newly reunited sisters still have lots to catch up on.

Today, they are meeting up again to find out more about

the years they spent apart.

I have never seen photographs of Jacq's album and her life

and I've also brought a few of mine.

So, yes, it should be a giggle.

SHE GIGGLES

-Hello! Come in.

-Thank you!

-Sweetie, what you got? Ooh!

-Love you to bits! Come in, come in.

-Thank you.

-Come sit down.

Right, I want you to really understand what I was like

when I was first adopted, OK? Here we go.

-Oh, wow!

-SYLVIA LAUGHS

I'm just worried about my mouth being opened, but perhaps I was...

-Well, that's not... That's not old, is it?

-No.

-It's never been closed since, has it?

-How lovely is that?

But, look, you've got to see this, which is hilarious.

That's what I'm really like now, though. Have you got one like that?

-A little bit older, I would say.

-Ah!

That's lovely. I do look quite sweet, do I not?

-Yes.

-Apparently I was a very...

One changes as they get older, don't they?

-That was me at school as a prefect.

-I was one as well.

-Were you?

-Yes.

-How long for?

-Three years.

-This is in Weybridge.

-Is that you?

-Yes.

You've always remained a corker.

-Gosh, you were pretty, darling.

-I like that I "was".

-And still are.

Somebody said to me, "You used to be quite attractive."

They said that to me other day. I said, "Thank you." Anyway...

-But the real ones.

-Ooh.

-Yes.

-And that's you there by the sea. Where did you go?

-Pagham.

-Yeah.

You ought to see the sort of caravan we stayed in.

-You stayed in a caravan?

-SYLVIA LAUGHS

-They're real old-fashioned, though, today.

-A little round one.

-Yeah.

-That was my mum.

-That's your mum? Oh, that's your mum.

That's Tess, the dog. That's...

-Is that your mother?

-It is.

-Ironing and she's got a fag in the mouth.

-I know.

My mother used to smoke, but she gave up.

No, Mum used to smoke a lot.

-Love the knickers. Look at that.

-No, that was a knitted bathing costume.

Every time I went into the water, it stretched!

-Brilliant!

-I know. It was yellow and brown. I felt like a bumblebee.

Not a good colour. How awful.

Finally, the sisters have one last piece of their family puzzle

to put into place today.

They're going to see the house where their mother lived

when they were both born.

That's where we used to live all those years and years ago.

-I don't remember a thing.

-You don't remember anything.

-No.

Well, there you go, Mum.

We're back.

-Little did you think we would be.

-Yeah.

Yes, I was actually born there, so that's a full circle now.

Wow, all these years later. 74, in fact.

Yes.

I find finding Jacq's a whole new life,

a whole new venture for me and my family.

She is great.

Ooh, it has been a long journey, but it's been remarkable having met

my sister and I think we both needed to be here together today

and I think that will make it even more of a cemented thing,

that we actually know this is the place we both were

when we were very small.

Incessantly we say it's great to have found each other, don't we?

Yes. Ooh, I'm so lucky, it's great.

We're both lucky.

And the fact that we get on so well.

Yeah, we do, don't we?

We laugh a lot, we chat a lot, we're everything...

And I just know we can always be together

and confide in each other and be there for each other.

Yeah. Always.

-Yes, we're proud.

-It's good.

Enough.

In you go, Sis.

In Reading, Tracey and Teresa's search for their long lost

half-sister Lesley had hit a brick wall.

Very frustrating because I got

folders galore, certificates galore, but the one person

I was really trying to find, I couldn't find.

After the death of their shared father,

they made one final attempt to find her

this time with the help of a professional family finding company.

There wasn't a match for Lesley with the surname that she was born with.

We then started to look at her mother and what she'd done

after the separation from Lesley's father

and found that she'd remarried in the 1960s and saw that

her surname had changed.

The researchers discovered that Lesley had officially adopted

her stepfather's surname.

This is why Teresa and Tracey hadn't been able to find her.

So, although this was a fairly short trace,

we did find an awful lot of information and there was

a lot to get through before we were then able to go away

and trace her to her current address.

The best part of our job is being able to phone our clients

and tell them that we've been successful in the search.

So it's wonderful for us to be able to do it because

we know how much it means to the people that come to us.

It was absolutely amazing because I spoke to her in the morning and

by the afternoon, she had found out what Lesley had changed her

name to and tracked her down and, yeah, found her within 24 hours.

It was just...you know, amazing.

-You phoned me, I was in the high street.

-Yes.

And I let out a big scream in the middle of the high street.

The family finding company contacted the Lesley they had found

to confirm she was the right person.

When I spoke to the lady on the phone, she said,

"Do you know this Lesley Probert?" I said, "Yeah, it's me."

"Do you know a Teresa and Tracey?" I said, "Yeah, they're my sisters."

And she said, "Thank God we found you."

And I thought they must've been looking for me.

I don't know how long they'd been looking.

It was just... It was amazing. to think that she actually...

Well, right from that we knew she'd probably wanted to be in touch.

After making contact through the family finding company,

now the sisters could be put in touch directly.

I said, "Yeah, I do want to be in contact, yeah,"

so I gave her my e-mail address and it's just been constant.

We sent an e-mail just to sort of say hi.

We even worried about what to put in the subject line, actually.

"What shall we put, what shall we put?"

-And we just put...

-It's Teresa and Tracey, sort of thing.

-I think we were so more worried about putting her off, weren't we?

-Yeah.

For the last two weeks, Teresa and Tracey

have only been in touch with Lesley by e-mail.

Much of their older sister's early life is still a mystery.

Lesley's parents, Brian and Rita, had married in 1954.

Two years later, Lesley arrived, but her parents split up

while she was still a toddler.

I can't remember them being together...

..cos I think I was only about two when they split up.

But I do remember going to my father's house where

he lived with my nan and grandad.

Years ago, parents didn't divorce too often

and so I was sort of an outcast.

"Ooh, where's your dad, then? Why don't you live with your dad?"

And then I was bullied at school because of my surname.

So the kids used to say Probert the robot.

My mum remarried when I was six so my mum said,

"Do you want to change your name by deed poll?"

Think about it and she explained to me what's going on to do that.

And I said, "Yes."

From then on, everything was in the name of Cross.

Lesley's birth father, Brian, had also remarried

and had Teresa and Tracey.

Although the two families lived near each other, there was no

contact until 1974.

I was 17. I knew by this time that he had remarried and got children.

I think I just got up one morning and thought, "I'm going to go

"and see if they still live in Sunningdale Avenue."

I was intrigued to meet them.

Um, I think that's what made me go and knock on the door, really.

And I can remember Tracey answering the door.

She was only little and I thought,

"God, it it's like looking in a mirror."

I thought, "Yeah, I've definitely got the right house."

It's a little mini me standing there.

I was getting married that year.

I just really wanted them to be a part of it.

But her two half-sisters were soon to disappear from Lesley's life.

For a couple of years, they were part of my life and then,

I don't know, all of a sudden, they just moved.

I never heard from him again.

I just put it down that he didn't want me in their lives, really,

so that's another reason why I didn't look for them.

I didn't really want to be rejected.

The sisters found each other just two weeks ago.

They still haven't met yet.

Tomorrow, they will see each other for the first time

since they lost touch all those years ago.

It's been a whole mixture of emotions all the way along,

but I think now that we're getting closer and closer

to meeting her, it's just excitement.

To meet Lesley, it's going to mean the world. I really can't wait.

It will be fantastic.

I've always wanted more family, to be honest with you,

and this might be the chance.

I don't think I'm going to sleep properly tonight knowing that

they're going to be here.

It's hours away now and in two and a half weeks,

it's just gone crazy and now it's down to hours.

Absolute... I'm... Oh!

I'm bursting. I'm bursting!

-The big day's here now.

-Yeah. I can't wait to meet her. No.

-I wonder what she looks like.

-I know!

-Will she look like us?

I wonder if she's as nervous as we are.

All this waiting and finally, it's going to happen, isn't it?

It's almost a lifetime...we've lost.

All those years when we could've been...

..we could've been really close all those years.

-I've got butterflies in my stomach.

-Have you?

-What about you?

I've got a massive moth, I think.

Oh, this is getting almost unbearable.

That's the road. That's the name of the road?

-What, Lesley's?

-Yeah.

-Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my God.

After being separated for most of their lives, now the three sisters

can finally be reunited.

Oh, my God.

ALL THREE SOB AND LAUGH

-I can't believe it's been so long. So long.

-40 years!

-I know.

Where does the time go, huh?

-This is the strangest thing, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-I know, it is.

-Do we look anything like we did?

-No.

-No!

-No!

-Good, good.

No, not a bit.

-It's really nice to see you, it really is.

-Yeah, it really is.

Now they are back together, Teresa, Tracey and Lesley

can start to fill in the blanks of the last four decades

and solve some of the family mysteries.

-Did you go through school as Lesley Probert?

-No.

-Oh!

-I was getting bullied at school because of my surname.

-Oh, right.

-Until we all became...

-And that's why I couldn't find you on Ancestry.

They have years to catch up on.

And there's one photo that has special significance for them all.

Pictures already.

-Oh, there we are!

-You've got that horr...that dress on.

No, you loved that dress.

It was long.

-Wow.

-You can just see your head.

-You can see my little head popping out.

So, it was your wedding day.

And look at me in that yellow jacket, wow.

Tracey, I'm so glad you put your head forward like that.

While they reminisce about the years passed, after nearly half

a century apart, the sisters can now look forward to a future together.

It's been brilliant and I really feel like I know Lesley already

even though it's just been today. And, no, I'll never forget it.

It's been wonderful.

I've only met her a few hours now,

but I feel like I've known her all my life

and we've got a lot of catching up to do.

And I feel that we've missed out,

I really do, but now's the time to make up.

To be in contact with them is just the best. It's lovely.

I'm not an only child any more.

I wish it had happened sooner.

I do wish it had happened sooner, but it's happened now and it's...

That's going to be us. We're family now. That's it.