Malia Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents


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Transcript


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This programme contains some strong language.

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The first ever summer holiday with your mates.

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A rite of passage for every teenager.

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Freedom...

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Temptation...

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and excess.

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All away from Mum and Dad.

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Absolutely wasted.

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If my dad saw me dressed like this, I would not have a roof over my head.

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But what they don't know

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is that their parents are coming too.

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-Secretly watching to make sure their kids can stand on their own two feet.

-My God.

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I can't believe I'm seeing this.

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It'll be an eye-opening experience.

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Look at the state of your daughter.

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But will it bring them closer together?

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We're proud to have such a nice child.

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You're a credit to our family.

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Or drive them further apart?

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She's in for a bollocking dressed like that.

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Seriously.

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Coming up - it's sun, sea, boozing and brawling in Malia...

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as 18-year-old party animal Joe Major leaves his doting family behind...

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He loves everybody, he loves life.

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Golden child's the right word for him.

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..for one last blow-out with the lads before they all go their separate ways.

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No parents about, no one giving you rules, no responsibilities.

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And art student Millie Butler escapes from her mum...

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I know I'm irrational with her. It's like, if she's not with me, she will die.

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..for her first-ever girlie holiday.

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Your mum is your mum.

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What she doesn't see or know won't hurt her.

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I think it will be interesting to be a fly on the wall on Joe's holiday

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because we'll see another side of him.

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No, don't do that... What's he...?

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But is it a case of being careful what you wish for as the parents secretly watch their kids?

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What's she doing? Oh my God.

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And give Joe and Millie the shock of their lives.

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Joey!

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Shit!

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Passports. Passports.

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The teenagers are packed and ready to go.

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In Norfolk, it's an early start for 18-year-old Millie and her best mates, drama student Holly,

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Francis, the youngest of the group,

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and fashion-mad Amy.

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Let's go, let's go, let's go!

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Don't enjoy yourself too much.

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Be good, be good.

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Be good!

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I'll be seeing ya!

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Leader of the pack Joe and his 11 mates have spent the last year saving for their lads' holiday.

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It's finally time for the off.

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Let's get these tops out.

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With Joe is old school friend Chi Chi,

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wannabe DJ Dom

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and the Romeo of the group, Dec.

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I can't wait!

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It's 1pm, we're on the bus on the way to the airport.

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We decided to go for a few drinks beforehand and we're buzzing because

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it's three hours till we're on the plane.

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Ain't we, boys? Come on! Yeah!

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As soon as we get off the plane, drink, dropping the bags down and that's it.

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We don't even want to know what our room is like. Bags in - out.

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That's the plan.

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Ooh ahh, Malia. Say, ooh ah, Malia!

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Every week in the summer, over 35,000 people descend on Malia

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looking for sun, sea and cheap booze.

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At the quieter end of the town, Millie and the girls have just arrived at their hotel.

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I can see the sea from here!

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Is this how they normally give people rooms?

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I know they said the hotel wasn't gross and scummy but...

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-There's hairs in the bed!

-Hairs...

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-Mouldy fruit.

-Look at the bin.

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-No one's left anything in the toilet though.

-That's one plus.

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I think us girls are definitely more chilled than our parents.

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If something goes wrong, there's nothing you can do about it if you've got no control about it.

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If you spend an hour going on about it, ranting, it's not

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going to change it, so you might as well just sit on your bed and chill.

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This is Millie's first-ever holiday without her over-protective mum, Bev.

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I do fear she'll...

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probably have one or two days when she's not very well

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and she'll have to realise what she can and can't do.

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My mum's one for thinking that no one can look after me as well as she can.

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I think it stems from when I was a baby. I had meningitis.

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She rang the doctors and said I was ill and they just said, bring her in tomorrow and in the end, she ignored

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them and brought me to hospital and they said, if you'd left her overnight, she'd have died.

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You don't make a connection but years later, after I've been so

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protective of her, irrationally so - I know I'm irrational with her -

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it's like if she's not with me, she will die.

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This is cosy!

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Joe and the lads have chosen a cheaper hotel

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on the other side of Malia, renowned for its party atmosphere.

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-It's massive.

-It's like a little flat.

-It's our penthouse suite.

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-This is Bitch's bedroom.

-Bitch, the biggest drinker in the group, and Chi Chi are in the room next door.

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Mirror to check yourself out before we go out. Come through here...

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This is our kitchen area with our sink.

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This is quite nice.

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We've got a bit of a hob and a fire cloth just in case.

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Nice. Like it.

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At home, Joe is the baby of the family.

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The youngest of three, he's always been golden boy.

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I just want to go out now.

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And get drunk.

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As you have more children, you do learn to relax

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and by the time Joe came along,

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he probably could get away with a lot more than the other two.

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We had some enjoyable holidays when they were younger.

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We went to Filey.

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We used to plan our holidays on the children, keeping them happy.

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Sometimes we had to forfeit what we would like to do but you do, as parents.

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We like to drink with Major, he gets it down in one.

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Joe's one of those people that a lot of lads would love to be like because he's got so much confidence.

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He's got far more confidence than I've ever had in my life

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-and he's loved by everybody.

-Oi James, you dick!

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Joe and the lads are heading down to infamous Malia Strip.

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There are over 100 bars and nightclubs,

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all competing to get the teenagers in,

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offering free entry and alcoholic drinks for as little as 60p.

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I can't wait! Look at these geezers.

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Trying to stop us!

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Lads, stop!

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Ah! Come on!

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Where shall we go? Who's up for what?

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Peach! Let's go!

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# I'll show you the time of your life

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# I'll walk you home safe from the dark

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# I'll give you my jacket, I'll give you my heart

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# But she won't come dancing tonight

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# She's having the time of her life

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# Doing all I can do, just to be close to you

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# Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat... #

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We're having a brilliant time.

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It's brilliant. We've all had a few more drinks.

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Brilliant drink deals - three vodkas and Red Bulls. I'm absolutely loving it as we speak.

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Joe and Millie have no idea that tomorrow their parents will

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fly out to secretly watch what they get up to.

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We've got such high expectations of Joe and it'd be a shame if they get lowered.

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After about six hours of drinking at 4 o'clock in the morning, it may be a different Joe we see.

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# You've got to slow it down baby, just get out of my face. #

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Why don't we get a soft drink and an alcoholic drink?

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In our two drinks, can we get a soft drink?

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Millie and the girls are also getting their first taste of the Malia nightlife.

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Ooh ah, Malia, say ooh ah Malia!

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We want to know how she handles things. It's a perfect opportunity.

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What parent gets to see first hand?

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I hear about what they do on a night out and you think, oh...

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but seeing it's going to be scary because I may want to jump in and go, "Don't do that!"

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The girls have managed to stay up until 7am...

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Half an hour ago it was dark.

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-What the hell happened?

-..in time to see Malia in its full glory.

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In the cold light of day, it's pretty dirty and scummy.

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Lots of drunk, naked people around.

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-But it's what the destination is built for, basically.

-What, to be dirty?

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No, the nightlife is advertised to be this sort of place.

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What's happening?!

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In the UK, the teenagers' parents are setting off.

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I don't want to see her having sex on a beach.

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That, I don't think she'd do that, but that would be my worst nightmare.

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We think it's going to be an amazing sort of experience to see Joe

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away on holiday without our supervision.

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The teenagers are at their hotels recovering from the night before,

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and Amy and Holly have already made some new friends.

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So, how are you planning on spending your first night in Malia?

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With you, hopefully!

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-Was that a bit cheesy?

-Yeah.

-Was that a bit cheesy?

-Yeah.

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-It's true. Honestly.

-Oh, God, are we going to have to spend the whole night running away?

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Bloody chavs.

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The parents have just arrived at the airport.

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With Bev is her friend, policewoman, Yvonne, who has come to offer moral support.

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-Hello!

-Nice to meet you!

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-Hi, I'm Angela!

-Is it bad?

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-It was a long day.

-We've heard a lot about you.

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Nice to meet you. I'm Clive. Angela.

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Joe's dad and mum.

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Gin and tonic time.

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-I think so.

-You think?

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-Good idea.

-Glass of vino and a beer.

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And a beer. I'm ready for a beer. Il know that.

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It must look so gay.

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Come on, Dom.

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The lads are getting ready for another big night out.

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There's a fancy dress party at their hotel, and Joe and Dom have decided to go as fairies.

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Do you like that?

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Bitch is going for a different look.

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I think them boys see themselves as pretty boys, so they've gone

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for a camp look on purpose, to suit their personality.

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Whereas I've just gone for out-and-out ridiculous.

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-Can I have one on the guns?

-I've had to cut a hole in it

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to go to the toilet, so I'm not sure how long it's going to last.

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The hole is there.

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I'd just got to pull it around.

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I think we're going to see a different Joe to what we see at home, personally.

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I know the lets himself go when he's out, but I think he's going to really let himself go.

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I'm expecting Malia to be like Blackpool, basically.

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And I hate that place with a vengeance.

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To get to their hotel, the parents are going through the Malia Strip.

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If they are spotted by any of the teenagers, it's game over.

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Shall we shut the curtains. Because they might see us.

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Looks like this is it.

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This is the Strip.

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Malia 2010! Alperton, man!

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That's a big crowd, there.

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Oh, crikey, look at this down here.

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Ooh, ah, Malia, say, ooh, ah, Malia!

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This is more what I was expecting.

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I feel really nervous because I think they might spot us.

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Is that Millie in that black and white dress?

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-No.

-No?

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That's exactly what I expect them to do!

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I think it's awful.

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I think it's awful, and I

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know later on, you know, and I'm going to say to the girls, why on Earth do you want to be here?

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But I think it's a rite of passage. They do need to come and do it.

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Across town, Joe is leading the way with the drinking games.

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Get up! Get up!

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Do you need some help?

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All right, have a beer, spin 10 times.

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I came off that spinning, pissed.

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Oh, my God, I'm going to be sick.

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VOMITS

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He's so sick.

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-That's so funny.

-I drank beer, sambuca. Hang on.

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It's out of my stomach now.

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Let's get out there and have a party on the Strip!

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I only be sick because I know that once I'm sick,

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I can start again.

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It's like rejuvenenavating myself

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into a new person.

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And then I'm back on it again. Like a fox.

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But on the way down to the Strip, foxy Joe and his tutu have attracted some unwanted attention.

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-3,2,1.

-Tongues?

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-No tongues?

-I've got a girlfriend!

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So what!

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I've got a boyfriend!

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-I've got a boyfriend!

-No! No!

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I'm getting raped!

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It might just be harmless fun, but Joe's had enough.

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I'm getting so worried now.

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We're going to get turned on.

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What are you doing?

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-Pretending to be pissed?

-Where are you going? I'll see you boys there.

-Candy.

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We'll meet in Candy.

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SLURRED SPEECH >

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I'm not even pissed. I'm just scared that they're gay.

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Actually gay.

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I'm just worried that they actually are gay. Oh, fuck!

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If my dad saw me dressed like this, I would not have a roof over my head.

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Basic!

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Next morning, and the parents are going to see footage of Millie and Joe's holiday so far.

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That's Holly.

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Oh, it's dark, I can't see.

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Oh, there she is. They're good girls, you see, they've got their water.

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Oh! They'll be on that pole in a minute!

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There's Amy! That's a bit short!

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It's shorts!

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-That's Millie.

-What has she got on? That little green dress, that's nice.

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They've got some male attention.

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Doesn't she look lovely?

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-That was all right.

-That was all right. So far so good.

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-That's Joe!

-LAUGHTER

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They're snogging!

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He's dancing like me!

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Oh, he's going to race.

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-A drinking game!

-Oh, no.

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They're going to be sick!

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Oh, he's been sick! Oh, no!

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He's vomiting!

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Nice!

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-Watch this bloke!

-HELPLESS LAUGHTER

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Come here, you!

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No! Don't!

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-3,2,1.

-He didn't like that.

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What are they doing?

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He likes it.

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-No.

-Don't do that.

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What's he doing?

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-That's awful!

-Is he one of their friends?

-No.

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Don't know who they are.

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What on earth is he doing there?

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Is Joe on his own here? Joe's on his own.

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He's not got any mates with him. What's he doing on his own there with those two blokes?

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-Oh, no.

-Where are you going?

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-I'll see you boys there.

-Candy.

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We'll be in Candy.

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Oh, dear.

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That was a bit of a shock, actually.

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I didn't like that, I have to say. Because he was on his own.

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Yes, because he was on his own, and I think...

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-That was the worst thing, it was...

-When you're on your own, it's like...

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-He didn't look comfortable with it, did he?

-He handled himself ever so well.

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-He did.

-Considering he had a few to drink.

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He did exactly the right thing.

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-That got rid of them.

-That wasn't very nice.

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No, I didn't like that, not at all.

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When he's walking down the back streets of Malia with those

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two Geordies or whatever they were following him,

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touching him up, basically, as a father, I don't like that and, I was just hoping that

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Joe'd get rid of them.

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My first impression was, Joe, turn round and give them a right hook.

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Not the right thing to do, but, you know, I just wanted him to get out of that situation.

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I feel so sorry for Angela and Clive

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because I know if that was my boy,

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I know how I'd be feeling. I'm thinking thank God it's not.

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This is our room.

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As you can see, it's not exactly in the best shape.

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I've still got loads of stuff in my suitcase, I've got pants everywhere,

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towels everywhere,

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rubbish everywhere. We don't spend much time in here.

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So, we don't care.

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This is just where you sleep for three hours. She's brought all this stuff and I've not even used it.

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I feel really bad. Antiseptic wipes, probably won't use them. Blister plasters, really?!

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Anadin, that's quite useful when you wake up with a hangover.

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So, we'll give her five out of five for that.

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Joe might be the baby at home but when it comes to the lads, he likes to take the lead.

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Joe has always been the leader since we've been a group. Joe has everything about him to be a leader.

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He's good looking, charismatic, confident.

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Joe has persuaded the rest of the lads to leave the confines of the hotel to go go-karting.

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He was the one who said let's go go-karting.

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If it wasn't for Joe, we'd be slobbing out at the pool.

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But half an hour later, there are still no go-karts in sight.

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We've been walking for ages because someone took us the wrong way to find the go-karts.

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I'd like to go go-karting but it's finding it for a start.

0:21:460:21:50

And getting the opening hours.

0:21:500:21:52

The organiser Joe has cocked it up again.

0:21:520:21:55

First time we've gone out and we're lost.

0:21:550:21:59

We don't know if it's open because apparently it's too hot.

0:21:590:22:01

We'll find out anyway.

0:22:010:22:03

This is a quality establishment. I like it.

0:22:030:22:06

This is my event organisation.

0:22:060:22:09

It took us about four hours to get here but we're here and ready.

0:22:090:22:12

I need a pint but there's no bar. I'm well annoyed!

0:22:120:22:15

# I don't want you to be no slave.... #

0:22:160:22:20

On the beach, the girls are checking out the local talent.

0:22:200:22:23

# But I want you to be true... #

0:22:260:22:30

They're all rather nice specimens.

0:22:300:22:34

Amy is the most outgoing of all of us.

0:22:340:22:37

She likes the boys.

0:22:370:22:39

She's gutsy, she'll walk up to someone if she wants to or if you do a dare, she'll definitely do it.

0:22:390:22:44

Have you guys seen...? The Greek god.

0:22:440:22:50

The water sports guy?

0:22:500:22:52

Hello!

0:22:520:22:54

I think we should film him on our camera.

0:22:540:22:55

Did you see him in the outdoor shower?

0:22:550:22:58

-Like in Sex And The City.

-He looked at me.

0:23:000:23:03

Unfortunately our guy was wearing panties.

0:23:030:23:07

To get a better view of this Greek god,

0:23:070:23:09

the girls are planning on taking a ride on Zeus's banana boat.

0:23:090:23:12

We're about to go banana boating.

0:23:120:23:16

-We budgeted for it.

-Just about.

-We didn't realise it would be this expensive.

0:23:160:23:22

We get taken out on a boat by Zeus.

0:23:220:23:25

-The Greek god!

-He's priceless!

0:23:250:23:28

Amy won't be the only one enjoying the view.

0:23:280:23:30

Bev and Yvonne have arrived at the hotel next door to catch a glimpse of Millie and the girls.

0:23:330:23:40

-Is that them?

-Who's that?

0:23:400:23:42

-Francis.

-Is that Millie?

0:23:440:23:46

Look at Millie!

0:23:530:23:54

She's putting on her life jacket.

0:23:540:23:56

Oh, my God.

0:23:560:23:58

I bet they're going on that bloomin' banana boat.

0:24:010:24:04

THEY SCREAM

0:24:130:24:15

Oh, look at this. That's fabulous.

0:24:170:24:21

Oh, he's zig-zagging.

0:24:280:24:30

He's trying to get them to come off.

0:24:300:24:31

GIGGLING

0:24:390:24:40

I feel really sneaky spying on Millie.

0:24:440:24:46

It's the sort of thing she thinks I do.

0:24:460:24:48

It's nice to see her in the flesh.

0:24:480:24:51

The unbroken flesh.

0:24:510:24:53

To be more precise!

0:24:530:24:54

I know parents worry about their children but I've gone to the nth degree.

0:24:580:25:02

It's made my life difficult. I feel restricted by it.

0:25:020:25:07

I'm sure Millie feels restricted and I don't want to spoil our relationship.

0:25:070:25:11

She's tolerated me all these years but if I carry on, the damage will be done.

0:25:110:25:18

I could always get some Pot Noodles.

0:25:180:25:21

The boys are on a tight budget.

0:25:210:25:23

Chicken and mushroom.

0:25:230:25:25

To make sure they have enough for essentials like booze, Joe and Ben have found a way to save money.

0:25:250:25:31

We need a favour.

0:25:310:25:32

-We bought some mussels, frozen mussels.

-First of all, why?

0:25:320:25:40

Because they're gourmet and we like mussels.

0:25:400:25:43

-Oh, OK.

-To be fair, they were quite cheap.

0:25:430:25:45

You want my opinion as a Greek person or as a woman?

0:25:450:25:48

Both. How do you heat them up?

0:25:480:25:52

Is it boiling water?

0:25:520:25:54

You're going to have them on their own, boiled?

0:25:540:25:58

You want something to make them taste better.

0:25:580:26:01

But we're not sure what to do with them.

0:26:010:26:04

Bless the woman who runs the hotel.

0:26:040:26:07

She gave us a lovely recipe.

0:26:070:26:09

But it involved feta cheese and olive oil, spices, tomato sauce and we thought it's too much effort.

0:26:090:26:17

Look at this, a pot noodle which already has herbs, spices, olive oil and chicken, sweetcorn.

0:26:170:26:22

Pour it in that and we're off.

0:26:220:26:24

That looks minging. Why have you put it in a bowl?

0:26:240:26:29

Because it looks more gourmet.

0:26:290:26:32

A nice sprinkle of the mussels on it.

0:26:320:26:36

It smells not very good.

0:26:360:26:38

It's called fish.

0:26:380:26:40

-I think it's quite nice.

-Not too bad.

0:26:440:26:46

-Do you want more mussels?

-I'm all right, mate.

0:26:460:26:50

Coming to Malia to secretly watch their kids was a difficult decision

0:26:530:26:56

but with Joe and Millie on the cusp of adulthood, the parents are keen to see how they cope on their own.

0:26:560:27:02

It was hard to come and do this but actually it was the best thing to do.

0:27:020:27:06

Being here has made me feel I've probably not given Millie enough credit.

0:27:060:27:13

And I'm sorry for that.

0:27:130:27:15

It's been quite difficult being on the same island and not doing anything about it.

0:27:150:27:19

He's 18, an adult but I feel as a mother I want to be with him and make sure he's OK.

0:27:190:27:26

It's 1:00am and the boys' night is just getting started.

0:27:330:27:36

They're heading to the Malibu Club, one of the busiest venues on the Strip.

0:27:360:27:40

ROWDY SINGING

0:27:400:27:41

Joe's parents, Clive and Angela, are also on their way to the Strip.

0:27:480:27:53

-I'm a bit nervous.

-Why?

-I don't know what to expect.

0:27:530:27:59

I'm nervous in case he spots us.

0:27:590:28:02

Ooh, ah, Malia, I say ooh ah Malia!

0:28:020:28:05

Ooh, ah, Malia, I say ooh ah Malia!

0:28:050:28:08

This is the true Joey, what we're seeing tonight.

0:28:080:28:11

-I wasn't expecting this.

-It's exactly what I was expecting.

0:28:170:28:21

I didn't expect to be going down a dirt track in the pitch black.

0:28:210:28:27

With the strip 50 yards away.

0:28:270:28:30

We can hear the music but can't see a thing.

0:28:300:28:32

It's so nerve-racking.

0:28:410:28:43

Here's the TV screen, let's have a look.

0:28:430:28:47

Whilst the kids are partying downstairs,

0:28:470:28:50

the parents are watching

0:28:500:28:51

on a live feed upstairs in the manager's office.

0:28:510:28:54

He's on somebody's shoulders!

0:28:540:28:56

No, Joey!

0:28:560:28:58

He's on Dom's shoulders.

0:28:580:29:01

At least he's not got that stupid tutu on.

0:29:010:29:03

They're fighting for the pole, I can't believe it.

0:29:030:29:06

Let the girls go on the pole, lads, and you watch.

0:29:060:29:10

# Ba, ba Americano... #

0:29:100:29:11

They look really happy tonight.

0:29:180:29:20

It's fantastic compared to last night.

0:29:200:29:24

If only he could see us up here now.

0:29:310:29:34

I don't think he'd be very happy.

0:29:340:29:37

We're just above you, mate.

0:29:410:29:43

Yep! We're watching you!

0:29:430:29:45

They're having a really good time.

0:29:470:29:49

It's a fantastic environment down there.

0:29:490:29:51

I feel we need to go down there and join them!

0:29:510:29:54

Moments after Clive and Angela leave, Joe gets into a play fight,

0:29:560:30:00

and for the second night running he's on his own.

0:30:000:30:03

There's a little bit of me still wanting him to be my baby.

0:30:050:30:09

She still calls him your baby, don't you, although he's six foot three.

0:30:090:30:13

He's got to be on his way now, really.

0:30:130:30:17

This is the start of it.

0:30:170:30:19

This is the start of his new road in life, really.

0:30:190:30:21

You all right, Joe?

0:30:210:30:23

-No, I'm not all right.

-Your lip hurting?

-I'm in pain.

0:30:270:30:31

My face hurts and me foot hurts.

0:30:310:30:35

It hurts so much.

0:30:370:30:39

I don't know where anyone is now.

0:30:390:30:41

Yeah, my foot, I kicked Dom on his shin and it really, really hurt.

0:30:410:30:46

I'm suffering a bit.

0:30:460:30:48

So that's why it hurts.

0:30:480:30:50

My mouth is bleeding. I can taste blood now.

0:30:550:30:59

-What's happened?

-Why do I taste blood?

0:30:590:31:01

Because I accidentally smashed a bottle and I still drank it.

0:31:010:31:05

This morning the parents

0:31:440:31:46

are watching footage of what they missed last night.

0:31:460:31:48

-Are you nervous?

-A bit.

0:31:480:31:50

Doesn't she look gorgeous?

0:31:530:31:55

-She's like a film star.

-Photogenic.

0:31:550:31:58

-Francis?

-No, Millie.

0:31:580:32:00

-Francis looks lovely.

-They both look gorgeous, like models.

0:32:000:32:03

Have you guys seen...

0:32:030:32:06

the Greek god?

0:32:060:32:07

That's a new bikini. I don't know that.

0:32:080:32:12

What are they talking about, a bloke? Greek god.

0:32:120:32:14

Like in Sex And The City with you!

0:32:170:32:19

Yeah, I was like this... And he looked at me and went like that!

0:32:190:32:22

Unfortunately our guy was wearing panties.

0:32:220:32:25

-Little strumpets.

-My mum will probably worry and be like,

0:32:250:32:28

oh, don't go on the banana boat.

0:32:280:32:30

She said that!

0:32:310:32:32

Too much danger!

0:32:320:32:34

THEY ALL LAUGH

0:32:340:32:36

Anybody would think I were a bit of a worrier.

0:32:390:32:44

I feel really happy for you, because I think that's lovely.

0:32:450:32:48

I think it's just shown them having a good time and chilling about the lovely pool area.

0:32:480:32:55

I'm a bit nervous about what's to come for us.

0:32:550:32:58

How glamorous do they look around people, the girls?

0:32:580:33:00

He's got nail varnish on.

0:33:000:33:04

He's got that suntan lotion that I bought him to put on his wrist,

0:33:040:33:07

just to make sure that he takes it when he goes out.

0:33:070:33:10

Yeah, but he's got nail varnish on, Angela.

0:33:100:33:12

My mum thought it was an absolutely brilliant idea, but I've not used it.

0:33:120:33:15

It is a brilliant idea! He's not used it!

0:33:150:33:19

She said I can wear it like when we go like out and about.

0:33:190:33:25

-Yes!

-I ain't going to carry that around,

0:33:250:33:28

am I, at the end of the day?

0:33:280:33:30

I'll get shot.

0:33:300:33:31

You'll get shot with that on but not with nail varnish on! Come on, Joe, get a life.

0:33:330:33:37

She's bought all this stuff and I've not even used it. I feel really bad.

0:33:370:33:41

Oh, my God. You should feel bad.

0:33:410:33:44

You all right, Joe?

0:33:480:33:51

Oh, my God. Where is everybody else?

0:33:510:33:53

No, I'm not all right.

0:33:530:33:54

I'm in pain.

0:33:560:33:57

My face hurts, my foot hurts.

0:33:580:34:01

It hurts so much.

0:34:030:34:05

I don't know where anyone is now.

0:34:050:34:07

He's on his own again.

0:34:070:34:10

My mouth is bleeding, I can taste blood now.

0:34:100:34:12

-He's got blood?

-He hasn't, has he?

0:34:120:34:16

I accidentally smashed a bottle and I still drank it.

0:34:160:34:19

That was strange.

0:34:220:34:26

But it's the look. I can tell, Joe's face, when he's not happy.

0:34:260:34:30

And he wasn't happy there, was he?

0:34:300:34:33

I was a bit upset to see him with a cut lip and blood on his foot.

0:34:330:34:39

We'll have to get the full story there, see what's been going on,

0:34:410:34:45

so I'm now a bit worried about as to what has been going on.

0:34:450:34:47

The girls...

0:34:470:34:49

are behaving really, really sensibly.

0:34:490:34:53

I'm just now wondering why I was so anxious and so worried.

0:34:530:34:58

They seem to be very, very tame, don't they?

0:34:580:35:00

They're more tame than they are at home.

0:35:000:35:03

I agree with that.

0:35:030:35:05

I'd like to see something more exciting happening with them,

0:35:050:35:08

really - really letting their hair down a bit and having a good time.

0:35:080:35:12

I don't think they seem to have done that yet.

0:35:120:35:14

Over at the girls' hotel, Amy is panicking.

0:35:250:35:28

Greek love god Zeus has turned up and is waiting for her in the hotel bar.

0:35:300:35:34

I was joking with our gorgeous Greek god, Zeus

0:35:340:35:39

and he was like, "Oh, yes, come out tonight, I come to your room".

0:35:390:35:42

I was thinking, "Yeah, yeah,"

0:35:420:35:44

And he's actually turned up.

0:35:440:35:45

So now I'm like, oh, my God, what the hell am I going to do?

0:35:450:35:48

No, like when you do it properly.

0:35:530:35:55

-It means I've got to wet my hair again.

-OK, leave it.

0:35:550:35:57

-It'll still look lovely.

-No!

0:35:570:35:59

Oh, for fuck's sake, I can't cope!

0:35:590:36:03

He's absolutely gorgeous and he just flirts a bit. Chill.

0:36:030:36:06

Ame, are you actually all right?

0:36:110:36:13

You sounded very upset. Because it's fine, we'll be ready.

0:36:130:36:17

-It'll be fine.

-Are we waiting for two more?

0:36:170:36:20

What time are they going to get here?

0:36:200:36:22

A few minutes.

0:36:250:36:27

Shall we stay here and have a drink?

0:36:270:36:30

Yeah.

0:36:300:36:31

Millie, Francis, you're here.

0:36:310:36:33

I feel we're not going to see Amy much tonight.

0:36:330:36:36

I think he's a bit pervy. He gave me a little look.

0:36:390:36:42

"Oui, oui, oui, me Greek man."

0:36:460:36:48

I think there might be a bit of a language barrier.

0:36:480:36:51

The conversation is lagging.

0:36:510:36:53

And the language barrier

0:36:580:36:59

appears to be too much and Zeus doesn't hang around.

0:36:590:37:02

He went off down to the bar with his friends,

0:37:020:37:05

but he said that he's going to come to the strip later,

0:37:050:37:09

so we'll see what happens.

0:37:090:37:12

I'm not fussed either way.

0:37:120:37:14

He's a lot more shy than when he was taking us in the banana boat, a bit like "neeurgh".

0:37:140:37:19

I'm quite happy to have a good night with our girlies.

0:37:190:37:22

But I really need a wee, so that's where I'm going.

0:37:220:37:25

It's four in the morning and Joe and his best mate Lloydy

0:37:260:37:29

are on their way back from the strip.

0:37:290:37:31

Everyone else has gone bed.

0:37:310:37:34

Actually, to be fair, everyone else has gone to bed.

0:37:340:37:37

We're the last men standing. I told you at the start of the night

0:37:370:37:40

I'd be the last one standing, and I'm proving it right here.

0:37:400:37:46

Dom and Chi Chi haven't made it to their beds.

0:37:570:38:00

Dom and Chi Chi. I was totally wrong.

0:38:000:38:02

I'm just worried about Dom.

0:38:020:38:04

-Chi Chi.

-Dom.

0:38:060:38:08

Two hours later at the girls' hotel, Amy has just arrived back after

0:38:310:38:35

getting separated from the others earlier in the night.

0:38:350:38:38

Are Millie and Francis already back?

0:38:380:38:41

The girls have been worried about her.

0:38:430:38:45

-Oh my God, Amy, we've been worried.

-Why have you been worried? I'm fine.

0:38:450:38:48

-Why are we screaming?

-Because the fucking cameras are on me.

0:38:480:38:53

The time is about half six, I think, in the morning.

0:38:530:38:57

I'm not totally sure. We've had a night out on the strip.

0:38:570:39:01

It was quite disjointed. We lost Amy for a little while.

0:39:010:39:04

It wasn't a big deal at all.

0:39:040:39:06

I kind of knew where she was and it was fine.

0:39:060:39:10

Like I say, just a bit of an emotional night.

0:39:100:39:12

I think she's just had a few too many to drink,

0:39:120:39:14

and...

0:39:140:39:16

like I don't know. She's thinking things bigger than they are,

0:39:160:39:20

and it's really not a big deal.

0:39:200:39:21

Joe and Millie's holiday is nearly over, and in less

0:39:320:39:35

than 24 hours their parents will reveal what they've been up to.

0:39:350:39:39

Am I missing my parents?

0:39:390:39:41

I feel terrible saying it,

0:39:410:39:44

but I've not really thought about them much because

0:39:440:39:47

half the time probably in Malia, I've been drunk,

0:39:470:39:49

so I've got no control of it, and the other half I've been asleep.

0:39:490:39:53

You're not really your true self with your parents.

0:39:530:39:56

You're kind of the person that they want you to be.

0:39:560:40:00

Then when you're with your boys, then you can just

0:40:000:40:02

unleash yourself a bit, just have a bit more fun.

0:40:020:40:05

I think my mum would have let me do all the things we've been doing.

0:40:110:40:14

However it would have been a bit more of a drag because she'd obviously have to have her say.

0:40:140:40:20

When it's just you girls, and it's just your friends,

0:40:200:40:23

you want to do the same kind of thing.

0:40:230:40:25

There's no one saying, well, be careful or anything like that.

0:40:250:40:29

It's nice just to... it's more relaxing in that sense.

0:40:290:40:32

It's half past 12 - another big night in Malia.

0:40:360:40:40

Let's get fucked!

0:40:400:40:41

Everybody wants a bit of the cock.

0:40:410:40:43

Tonight both groups of teenagers are going to one of the strip's biggest venues, the Candy Club.

0:40:480:40:53

And so are their parents.

0:40:570:41:00

I'm hoping to see them having a bit of fun tonight.

0:41:000:41:03

The clips that I've seen, the girls have not been particularly

0:41:030:41:08

dancing, so as we're going to a club,

0:41:080:41:10

that should be really good.

0:41:100:41:12

As the girls warm up with some drinking games,

0:41:170:41:19

the parents are making their way down a back street behind the strip.

0:41:190:41:23

I'm in a hot sweat. I don't know why I'm getting in a hot sweat.

0:41:370:41:41

This is the last opportunity for the parents to see

0:41:410:41:43

how their kids behave when they're not around.

0:41:430:41:46

Joe and Millie have just met in the club...

0:41:500:41:53

And there's no keeping them apart.

0:41:550:41:57

Millie's kissing.

0:41:590:42:01

She's kissing Joe!

0:42:010:42:03

No, she's not. He's whispering to her.

0:42:030:42:05

-Just talking.

-Looks like they're kissing to me.

0:42:050:42:07

Oh, my God.

0:42:130:42:15

Oh, my lord.

0:42:190:42:22

How big's your garden...

0:42:220:42:24

for a marquee?

0:42:240:42:26

It's nice to see Joe without a dress on, to be honest.

0:42:270:42:31

-And there's no nail varnish.

-Oh, I say!

0:42:310:42:33

It's the Cheeky Girls.

0:42:380:42:40

I want to be up there doing that.

0:42:450:42:50

It'd take me 20 minutes to get up there.

0:42:500:42:53

It's been brilliant.

0:43:020:43:03

I'm glad we saw all this, aren't you? It's been absolutely fantastic.

0:43:030:43:06

It's been brilliant to watch them having such a good time.

0:43:060:43:09

This is what I hoped we'd see.

0:43:090:43:10

They were all really happy, Millie's group and our group,

0:43:100:43:14

and joining up together just like really good friends,

0:43:140:43:17

like they'd known each other for ages.

0:43:170:43:19

They just seemed really happy to be together.

0:43:190:43:21

Millie, Joe and Chi Chi have had a good time.

0:43:240:43:27

But moments after the parents leave

0:43:270:43:29

the evening takes a turn for the worse.

0:43:290:43:32

Come with me now. I swear on my fucking life, come here.

0:43:370:43:40

Joe has just heard from one of the lads that Chi Chi has been punched in the face by a stranger.

0:43:400:43:45

He's trying to find him.

0:43:450:43:48

Chi has been hit.

0:43:480:43:50

-Come on!

-Fuck off, seriously.

0:43:500:43:53

I don't know.

0:43:530:43:55

We were dancing on the dance floor and this guy grabbed this guy in the white T shirt that was our friend,

0:43:570:44:02

but I didn't notice it was him, and this other one started smacking him

0:44:020:44:06

and then he came out and I realised it was him

0:44:060:44:08

because I'd been dancing with him and he'd bought me a drink,

0:44:080:44:12

and so I went off after him but I had blood all over me and he was like,

0:44:120:44:15

"I'm fine, I'm fine," it all over his face.

0:44:150:44:17

Joe tracks down Chi Chi at the medical centre.

0:44:170:44:20

Did he go up to you and hit you?

0:44:200:44:23

What a prick.

0:44:230:44:24

Have a good night...

0:44:280:44:29

The last thing I want is for you to go out and find a fight.

0:44:290:44:32

-Just have a good night...

-Chi, fucking look at you, Chi.

0:44:320:44:35

Every day the doctors here deal with up to 50 violence related injuries.

0:44:350:44:40

Help her, help her.

0:44:420:44:44

Chi Chi has been told by the doctors at the medical centre to come back tomorrow for an X ray.

0:44:470:44:52

What happened, I went for a piss, I came outside,

0:44:520:44:55

walking towards the lads, and someone just hit me in the face.

0:44:550:44:59

So I stood up and was like "what?"

0:44:590:45:02

He hit me in the face again,

0:45:020:45:03

so I thought fuck this, started getting involved,

0:45:030:45:06

and it was mates, mates, mates, and I thought fuck this, so I shoved them all aside and walked outside.

0:45:060:45:12

I knew that he would not have done anything wrong because he's not the sort of guy,

0:45:120:45:16

so a few of us were just a bit like, we just wanted to see who it was and say to him, "Why did you do that?"

0:45:160:45:21

We didn't want him to get away with it cos at the end of the day it's

0:45:210:45:24

one of our best mates who's been hit for no reason, so we wanted to get to the bottom of it.

0:45:240:45:28

I just hope he can come out tomorrow, seriously.

0:45:280:45:31

I hope it doesn't ruin his holiday.

0:45:310:45:33

It's the last day of the holiday.

0:45:370:45:39

Tonight, Millie and Joe will find out exactly what their parents have been up to.

0:45:390:45:44

But right now the boys have only one thing on their minds.

0:45:440:45:48

How are you doing, Chi? You all right, mate? What's up?

0:45:480:45:51

Chi Chi, who has been at the hospital all morning.

0:45:510:45:53

I'm sorry, Chi, mate.

0:45:530:45:56

Bad news. Chi just rang.

0:45:560:45:58

He has to stay another night, because he's got a thing on his nose.

0:45:580:46:01

He has to stay for two nights, so he can't fly back with us. James is going to stay with him.

0:46:010:46:06

He has to stay in the hospital.

0:46:060:46:08

They've done this operation and they said you have to wait 48 hours.

0:46:080:46:11

Chi Chi doesn't want his broken nose to ruin the final night.

0:46:170:46:21

So the lads are going ahead with their plans to celebrate Bitch's 19th birthday.

0:46:210:46:26

# Happy birthday to Bitch

0:46:260:46:28

# Happy birthday to you. #

0:46:280:46:32

Make a wish.

0:46:320:46:35

Everyone is upset about Chi Chi's nose and how he can't be here today for the final day.

0:46:350:46:40

But looking back on it, we've had a good week anyway, and he said to

0:46:400:46:44

me on the phone earlier, "Have a good night for me".

0:46:440:46:47

So I'll make sure that happens.

0:46:470:46:49

But their party is about to be gatecrashed.

0:46:520:46:54

I just can't wait to see their faces when we start explaining that

0:46:580:47:01

we've been in the nightclubs with them and we've been on the strip.

0:47:010:47:04

They're going to be in turmoil when they realise that we've been following them around for a week.

0:47:070:47:11

For this game you're going to be blindfolded. It's a taste test.

0:47:110:47:15

The lads are finishing their holiday just as they started -

0:47:150:47:19

with more drinking games.

0:47:190:47:20

I've got butterflies in my stomach now.

0:47:220:47:25

I just want to get it over and done with now.

0:47:250:47:27

It's quite exciting.

0:47:270:47:29

It's very exciting.

0:47:290:47:31

I love this sort of thing, but even I'm sort of got the butterflies.

0:47:310:47:34

I'm going to place a shot glass in everyone's hand.

0:47:340:47:39

There's nothing in it yet.

0:47:390:47:41

Three, two, one, drink.

0:47:460:47:49

-Ready?

-Are you going to tiptoe?

-I'll tiptoe.

0:47:510:47:54

-Keep the taste in your mind.

-I'll drink that all day.

0:47:540:47:58

Three, two, one, drink.

0:48:020:48:04

Now, one at a time, I'm going to ask you what you've been drinking. Joe.

0:48:070:48:11

Yes.

0:48:110:48:13

-What was your first shot?

-Peach schnapps.

0:48:130:48:16

-What was your second shot?

-Apple sours.

0:48:160:48:18

-What was your third shot?

-Peppermint mouthwash.

0:48:180:48:21

Are you absolutely positive?

0:48:210:48:23

-No.

-Remove your blindfold, Joe.

0:48:230:48:25

Surprise!

0:48:300:48:32

We've been watching you!

0:48:320:48:35

THEY ALL SCREAM AND SHOUT

0:48:350:48:37

We've been watching you the whole time!

0:48:460:48:49

-We've been watching you since the first day of your holiday.

-Literally live?

0:48:490:48:55

Yeah. We've been down the Strip, in the nightclubs, haven't we?

0:48:550:48:59

We've been in the nightclubs. We've been here the whole time.

0:48:590:49:02

We've been to the Malibu Club.

0:49:020:49:06

-Oh, shit!

-We watched you on the podium.

0:49:070:49:10

-What about your sun cream?

-I've used it every day, Mum.

0:49:100:49:12

You haven't. I know you haven't.

0:49:120:49:14

Shit!

0:49:140:49:16

"Who's going to wear one of those bangles of suncream?

0:49:160:49:19

-"My mum's packed me this."

-Crap.

0:49:190:49:21

-How do you feel about seeing us?

-I'm happy.

0:49:210:49:24

It's a bit weird.

0:49:240:49:26

We wanted to see how you behaved on holiday when you first sort of the holiday with the lads.

0:49:260:49:31

Shit, then. Oh, crap.

0:49:310:49:33

We wanted to know, like a fly on a wall sort of thing.

0:49:330:49:36

What did you think, then?

0:49:360:49:38

We've seen video coverage that was quite distressing

0:49:380:49:42

to us as parents, honestly.

0:49:420:49:44

-What? What?

-With those blokes...

0:49:440:49:48

With the blokes, that was quite upsetting to me,

0:49:480:49:51

I have to say, first of all to see you in a dress and nail varnish.

0:49:510:49:55

To be serious about it, we weren't sure if they were joking or not.

0:49:550:49:59

-I can't even remember.

-You know what happened to Chi last night.

0:49:590:50:03

You was in a vulnerable position that night with those two guys.

0:50:030:50:06

Although they were messing around with you,

0:50:060:50:09

they could have been muggers.

0:50:090:50:11

But you was in such a state that you weren't to know if you'd been mugged or knifed or whatever, had you?

0:50:110:50:16

That's a concern to us as parents.

0:50:160:50:18

We loved the times when you're having a great time.

0:50:180:50:20

-We had a good time anyway, didn't we, boys?

-ALL: Yeah!

0:50:200:50:23

What's the song? Ooh, aah, Malia.

0:50:230:50:26

Say ooh, aah, Malia.

0:50:260:50:28

Oh, my days! I'm pleased to see them - obviously, it's your mum and dad.

0:50:300:50:34

But you're not pleased to see them with my boys in Malia

0:50:340:50:37

because it's just like hold on,

0:50:370:50:39

this is the reason why I came to Malia, to get away from them.

0:50:390:50:43

It's 3am and Bev is preparing to surprise Millie.

0:50:440:50:49

-I'm nervous now.

-What do you think she's going to say?

0:50:490:50:52

I haven't a clue.

0:50:520:50:54

In fact...

0:50:540:50:56

I didn't even think about it until you said.

0:50:560:50:58

-I know, I've worried you, haven't I?

-You've really worried me about that.

0:50:580:51:01

I didn't think that Millie would be cross.

0:51:010:51:04

You know better than I do.

0:51:040:51:05

I know, but you've set me thinking now.

0:51:050:51:07

I don't think she's going to turn around and say "Get lost".

0:51:070:51:10

-If she does, can you pick me up off the floor?

-I will.

0:51:100:51:13

Millie and the girls are determined

0:51:180:51:20

to make their last night in Malia one to remember.

0:51:200:51:22

Off, off, off, off, off!

0:51:220:51:26

I don't think my mum would like the strip at all.

0:51:340:51:38

She'd say everyone was uncouth,

0:51:380:51:40

which I guess they are.

0:51:400:51:42

But you've just got to go with it.

0:51:420:51:45

Mum is about to see for herself.

0:51:450:51:47

She's on the strip and heading towards Millie.

0:51:470:51:50

X Factor!

0:51:500:51:53

Let me give you a fucking mangina, shall we?

0:51:530:51:55

I don't know, I didn't look!

0:52:010:52:03

All right, OK, are we ready for this?

0:52:100:52:12

I am.

0:52:120:52:14

Shit!

0:52:190:52:22

You've no idea. Do you know how long I've been here?

0:52:290:52:31

-How long?

-Five days.

0:52:310:52:33

What?! You've been here the whole time? You never went to Malta?

0:52:330:52:37

I've seen you on a banana boat.

0:52:370:52:41

I was hiding behind the thing with binoculars!

0:52:410:52:43

Guess where I went last night?

0:52:450:52:47

-We were there.

-We were there.

-Did you see us?

0:52:520:52:55

We were watching you.

0:52:550:52:58

We've been ducking and diving. Are you cross with me?

0:52:580:53:02

No!

0:53:020:53:02

I thought you might have been.

0:53:020:53:04

Listen - I did it because I thought if

0:53:080:53:10

there's a problem then I can be there.

0:53:100:53:12

If it had been you that had been smashed in't face I'd have been able to come.

0:53:120:53:16

But now I've done it, I'm not going to do it again because...

0:53:160:53:19

Please don't do this on another holiday.

0:53:190:53:22

Actually seeing what you've done and how you've coped,

0:53:220:53:25

I'm really proud of you.

0:53:250:53:27

I don't have to bother, do I?

0:53:270:53:29

Give us a kiss.

0:53:290:53:31

The next day and Clive and Angela

0:53:370:53:39

are catching up with Joe before they fly home.

0:53:390:53:41

I was absolutely shocked to see you.

0:53:410:53:43

When I took the blindfold off, I just thought, oh, no.

0:53:430:53:46

I didn't know what to do. I never saw it coming.

0:53:460:53:48

We've been a fly on the wall,

0:53:480:53:50

and I don't know if I'd want to be a fly on a wall again,

0:53:500:53:53

but we've had an insight into your sort of holiday, what you enjoy, how you get on with your friends.

0:53:530:54:00

We're proud to have such a nice child that we've brought up,

0:54:000:54:06

and you're a credit to our family.

0:54:060:54:08

We're so proud of you this week.

0:54:080:54:10

If I wasn't so hungover I'd probably cry.

0:54:100:54:14

Thank you.

0:54:140:54:15

After a week of watching Millie from afar, Bev's finally getting some mother-daughter time.

0:54:170:54:22

Being able to see you this week from a distance, I've seen you completely differently.

0:54:220:54:28

The differences at home

0:54:280:54:31

in our house I saw you as my child...

0:54:310:54:35

but seeing you here, I saw you as an adult.

0:54:350:54:39

I think this experience has been brilliant timing

0:54:390:54:43

because I'm on the cusp of everything that's going to start happening,

0:54:430:54:46

like moving into a new house.

0:54:460:54:48

You won't know where I am all the time,

0:54:480:54:50

and actually I'd be fine, but you wouldn't. I think this...

0:54:500:54:55

You've got more out of this experience than I have.

0:54:550:54:58

You were always mine.

0:55:020:55:04

When you were born, you were always mine.

0:55:040:55:08

You've been the only thing that has been constant in my life.

0:55:100:55:14

When you were born, my mum said...

0:55:160:55:18

"Bev will never be on her own again".

0:55:240:55:27

And you won't.

0:55:360:55:37

No, I won't.

0:55:390:55:41

That's why it's been so hard

0:55:410:55:44

to let you go.

0:55:440:55:45

Give me a hug.

0:55:490:55:52

Don't get mascara on my top, though.

0:55:520:55:55

-I love you, do you know that?

-Yeah, I love you, too.

0:55:550:55:57

Next time it's high thrills...

0:56:000:56:02

Dancing...

0:56:020:56:04

Snogging...

0:56:060:56:07

She needs to put them boobs away.

0:56:070:56:09

And getting busted with your pants down on party island Ibiza.

0:56:090:56:14

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:56:270:56:29

Email [email protected]

0:56:290:56:32

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