Malia Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents


Malia

Teenagers take their first holiday abroad without their parents, who are secretly watching. Joe gets up to all sorts with his mates and Millie relaxes with her girlfriends.


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Transcript


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This programme contains some strong language.

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The first ever summer holiday with your mates.

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A rite of passage for every teenager.

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Freedom...

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Temptation...

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and excess.

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All away from Mum and Dad.

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Absolutely wasted.

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If my dad saw me dressed like this, I would not have a roof over my head.

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But what they don't know

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is that their parents are coming too.

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-Secretly watching to make sure their kids can stand on their own two feet.

-My God.

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I can't believe I'm seeing this.

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It'll be an eye-opening experience.

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Look at the state of your daughter.

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But will it bring them closer together?

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We're proud to have such a nice child.

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You're a credit to our family.

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Or drive them further apart?

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She's in for a bollocking dressed like that.

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Seriously.

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Coming up - it's sun, sea, boozing and brawling in Malia...

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as 18-year-old party animal Joe Major leaves his doting family behind...

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He loves everybody, he loves life.

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Golden child's the right word for him.

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..for one last blow-out with the lads before they all go their separate ways.

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No parents about, no one giving you rules, no responsibilities.

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And art student Millie Butler escapes from her mum...

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I know I'm irrational with her. It's like, if she's not with me, she will die.

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..for her first-ever girlie holiday.

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Your mum is your mum.

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What she doesn't see or know won't hurt her.

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I think it will be interesting to be a fly on the wall on Joe's holiday

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because we'll see another side of him.

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No, don't do that... What's he...?

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But is it a case of being careful what you wish for as the parents secretly watch their kids?

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What's she doing? Oh my God.

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And give Joe and Millie the shock of their lives.

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Joey!

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Shit!

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Passports. Passports.

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The teenagers are packed and ready to go.

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In Norfolk, it's an early start for 18-year-old Millie and her best mates, drama student Holly,

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Francis, the youngest of the group,

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and fashion-mad Amy.

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Let's go, let's go, let's go!

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Don't enjoy yourself too much.

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Be good, be good.

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Be good!

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I'll be seeing ya!

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Leader of the pack Joe and his 11 mates have spent the last year saving for their lads' holiday.

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It's finally time for the off.

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Let's get these tops out.

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With Joe is old school friend Chi Chi,

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wannabe DJ Dom

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and the Romeo of the group, Dec.

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I can't wait!

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It's 1pm, we're on the bus on the way to the airport.

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We decided to go for a few drinks beforehand and we're buzzing because

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it's three hours till we're on the plane.

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Ain't we, boys? Come on! Yeah!

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As soon as we get off the plane, drink, dropping the bags down and that's it.

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We don't even want to know what our room is like. Bags in - out.

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That's the plan.

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Ooh ahh, Malia. Say, ooh ah, Malia!

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Every week in the summer, over 35,000 people descend on Malia

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looking for sun, sea and cheap booze.

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At the quieter end of the town, Millie and the girls have just arrived at their hotel.

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I can see the sea from here!

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Is this how they normally give people rooms?

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I know they said the hotel wasn't gross and scummy but...

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-There's hairs in the bed!

-Hairs...

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-Mouldy fruit.

-Look at the bin.

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-No one's left anything in the toilet though.

-That's one plus.

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I think us girls are definitely more chilled than our parents.

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If something goes wrong, there's nothing you can do about it if you've got no control about it.

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If you spend an hour going on about it, ranting, it's not

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going to change it, so you might as well just sit on your bed and chill.

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This is Millie's first-ever holiday without her over-protective mum, Bev.

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I do fear she'll...

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probably have one or two days when she's not very well

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and she'll have to realise what she can and can't do.

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My mum's one for thinking that no one can look after me as well as she can.

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I think it stems from when I was a baby. I had meningitis.

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She rang the doctors and said I was ill and they just said, bring her in tomorrow and in the end, she ignored

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them and brought me to hospital and they said, if you'd left her overnight, she'd have died.

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You don't make a connection but years later, after I've been so

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protective of her, irrationally so - I know I'm irrational with her -

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it's like if she's not with me, she will die.

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This is cosy!

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Joe and the lads have chosen a cheaper hotel

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on the other side of Malia, renowned for its party atmosphere.

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-It's massive.

-It's like a little flat.

-It's our penthouse suite.

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-This is Bitch's bedroom.

-Bitch, the biggest drinker in the group, and Chi Chi are in the room next door.

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Mirror to check yourself out before we go out. Come through here...

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This is our kitchen area with our sink.

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This is quite nice.

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We've got a bit of a hob and a fire cloth just in case.

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Nice. Like it.

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At home, Joe is the baby of the family.

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The youngest of three, he's always been golden boy.

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I just want to go out now.

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And get drunk.

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As you have more children, you do learn to relax

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and by the time Joe came along,

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he probably could get away with a lot more than the other two.

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We had some enjoyable holidays when they were younger.

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We went to Filey.

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We used to plan our holidays on the children, keeping them happy.

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Sometimes we had to forfeit what we would like to do but you do, as parents.

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We like to drink with Major, he gets it down in one.

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Joe's one of those people that a lot of lads would love to be like because he's got so much confidence.

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He's got far more confidence than I've ever had in my life

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-and he's loved by everybody.

-Oi James, you dick!

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Joe and the lads are heading down to infamous Malia Strip.

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There are over 100 bars and nightclubs,

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all competing to get the teenagers in,

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offering free entry and alcoholic drinks for as little as 60p.

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I can't wait! Look at these geezers.

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Trying to stop us!

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Lads, stop!

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Ah! Come on!

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Where shall we go? Who's up for what?

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Peach! Let's go!

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# I'll show you the time of your life

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# I'll walk you home safe from the dark

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# I'll give you my jacket, I'll give you my heart

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# But she won't come dancing tonight

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# She's having the time of her life

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# Doing all I can do, just to be close to you

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# Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat... #

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We're having a brilliant time.

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It's brilliant. We've all had a few more drinks.

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Brilliant drink deals - three vodkas and Red Bulls. I'm absolutely loving it as we speak.

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Joe and Millie have no idea that tomorrow their parents will

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fly out to secretly watch what they get up to.

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We've got such high expectations of Joe and it'd be a shame if they get lowered.

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After about six hours of drinking at 4 o'clock in the morning, it may be a different Joe we see.

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# You've got to slow it down baby, just get out of my face. #

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Why don't we get a soft drink and an alcoholic drink?

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In our two drinks, can we get a soft drink?

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Millie and the girls are also getting their first taste of the Malia nightlife.

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Ooh ah, Malia, say ooh ah Malia!

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We want to know how she handles things. It's a perfect opportunity.

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What parent gets to see first hand?

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I hear about what they do on a night out and you think, oh...

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but seeing it's going to be scary because I may want to jump in and go, "Don't do that!"

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The girls have managed to stay up until 7am...

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Half an hour ago it was dark.

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-What the hell happened?

-..in time to see Malia in its full glory.

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In the cold light of day, it's pretty dirty and scummy.

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Lots of drunk, naked people around.

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-But it's what the destination is built for, basically.

-What, to be dirty?

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No, the nightlife is advertised to be this sort of place.

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What's happening?!

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In the UK, the teenagers' parents are setting off.

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I don't want to see her having sex on a beach.

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That, I don't think she'd do that, but that would be my worst nightmare.

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We think it's going to be an amazing sort of experience to see Joe

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away on holiday without our supervision.

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The teenagers are at their hotels recovering from the night before,

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and Amy and Holly have already made some new friends.

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So, how are you planning on spending your first night in Malia?

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With you, hopefully!

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-Was that a bit cheesy?

-Yeah.

-Was that a bit cheesy?

-Yeah.

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-It's true. Honestly.

-Oh, God, are we going to have to spend the whole night running away?

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Bloody chavs.

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The parents have just arrived at the airport.

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With Bev is her friend, policewoman, Yvonne, who has come to offer moral support.

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-Hello!

-Nice to meet you!

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-Hi, I'm Angela!

-Is it bad?

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-It was a long day.

-We've heard a lot about you.

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Nice to meet you. I'm Clive. Angela.

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Joe's dad and mum.

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Gin and tonic time.

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-I think so.

-You think?

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-Good idea.

-Glass of vino and a beer.

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And a beer. I'm ready for a beer. Il know that.

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It must look so gay.

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Come on, Dom.

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The lads are getting ready for another big night out.

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There's a fancy dress party at their hotel, and Joe and Dom have decided to go as fairies.

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Do you like that?

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Bitch is going for a different look.

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I think them boys see themselves as pretty boys, so they've gone

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for a camp look on purpose, to suit their personality.

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Whereas I've just gone for out-and-out ridiculous.

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-Can I have one on the guns?

-I've had to cut a hole in it

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to go to the toilet, so I'm not sure how long it's going to last.

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The hole is there.

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I'd just got to pull it around.

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I think we're going to see a different Joe to what we see at home, personally.

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I know the lets himself go when he's out, but I think he's going to really let himself go.

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I'm expecting Malia to be like Blackpool, basically.

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And I hate that place with a vengeance.

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To get to their hotel, the parents are going through the Malia Strip.

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If they are spotted by any of the teenagers, it's game over.

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Shall we shut the curtains. Because they might see us.

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Looks like this is it.

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This is the Strip.

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Malia 2010! Alperton, man!

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That's a big crowd, there.

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Oh, crikey, look at this down here.

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Ooh, ah, Malia, say, ooh, ah, Malia!

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This is more what I was expecting.

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I feel really nervous because I think they might spot us.

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Is that Millie in that black and white dress?

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-No.

-No?

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That's exactly what I expect them to do!

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I think it's awful.

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I think it's awful, and I

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know later on, you know, and I'm going to say to the girls, why on Earth do you want to be here?

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But I think it's a rite of passage. They do need to come and do it.

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Across town, Joe is leading the way with the drinking games.

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Get up! Get up!

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Do you need some help?

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All right, have a beer, spin 10 times.

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I came off that spinning, pissed.

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Oh, my God, I'm going to be sick.

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VOMITS

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He's so sick.

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-That's so funny.

-I drank beer, sambuca. Hang on.

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It's out of my stomach now.

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Let's get out there and have a party on the Strip!

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I only be sick because I know that once I'm sick,

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I can start again.

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It's like rejuvenenavating myself

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into a new person.

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And then I'm back on it again. Like a fox.

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But on the way down to the Strip, foxy Joe and his tutu have attracted some unwanted attention.

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-3,2,1.

-Tongues?

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-No tongues?

-I've got a girlfriend!

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So what!

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I've got a boyfriend!

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-I've got a boyfriend!

-No! No!

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I'm getting raped!

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It might just be harmless fun, but Joe's had enough.

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I'm getting so worried now.

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We're going to get turned on.

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What are you doing?

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-Pretending to be pissed?

-Where are you going? I'll see you boys there.

-Candy.

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We'll meet in Candy.

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SLURRED SPEECH >

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I'm not even pissed. I'm just scared that they're gay.

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Actually gay.

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I'm just worried that they actually are gay. Oh, fuck!

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If my dad saw me dressed like this, I would not have a roof over my head.

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Basic!

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Next morning, and the parents are going to see footage of Millie and Joe's holiday so far.

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That's Holly.

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Oh, it's dark, I can't see.

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Oh, there she is. They're good girls, you see, they've got their water.

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Oh! They'll be on that pole in a minute!

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There's Amy! That's a bit short!

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It's shorts!

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-That's Millie.

-What has she got on? That little green dress, that's nice.

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They've got some male attention.

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Doesn't she look lovely?

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-That was all right.

-That was all right. So far so good.

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-That's Joe!

-LAUGHTER

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They're snogging!

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He's dancing like me!

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Oh, he's going to race.

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-A drinking game!

-Oh, no.

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They're going to be sick!

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Oh, he's been sick! Oh, no!

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He's vomiting!

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Nice!

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-Watch this bloke!

-HELPLESS LAUGHTER

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Come here, you!

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No! Don't!

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-3,2,1.

-He didn't like that.

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What are they doing?

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He likes it.

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-No.

-Don't do that.

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What's he doing?

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-That's awful!

-Is he one of their friends?

-No.

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Don't know who they are.

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What on earth is he doing there?

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Is Joe on his own here? Joe's on his own.

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He's not got any mates with him. What's he doing on his own there with those two blokes?

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-Oh, no.

-Where are you going?

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-I'll see you boys there.

-Candy.

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We'll be in Candy.

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Oh, dear.

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That was a bit of a shock, actually.

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I didn't like that, I have to say. Because he was on his own.

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Yes, because he was on his own, and I think...

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-That was the worst thing, it was...

-When you're on your own, it's like...

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-He didn't look comfortable with it, did he?

-He handled himself ever so well.

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-He did.

-Considering he had a few to drink.

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He did exactly the right thing.

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-That got rid of them.

-That wasn't very nice.

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No, I didn't like that, not at all.

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When he's walking down the back streets of Malia with those

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two Geordies or whatever they were following him,

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touching him up, basically, as a father, I don't like that and, I was just hoping that

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Joe'd get rid of them.

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My first impression was, Joe, turn round and give them a right hook.

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Not the right thing to do, but, you know, I just wanted him to get out of that situation.

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I feel so sorry for Angela and Clive

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because I know if that was my boy,

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I know how I'd be feeling. I'm thinking thank God it's not.

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This is our room.

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As you can see, it's not exactly in the best shape.

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I've still got loads of stuff in my suitcase, I've got pants everywhere,

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towels everywhere,

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rubbish everywhere. We don't spend much time in here.

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So, we don't care.

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This is just where you sleep for three hours. She's brought all this stuff and I've not even used it.

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I feel really bad. Antiseptic wipes, probably won't use them. Blister plasters, really?!

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Anadin, that's quite useful when you wake up with a hangover.

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So, we'll give her five out of five for that.

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Joe might be the baby at home but when it comes to the lads, he likes to take the lead.

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Joe has always been the leader since we've been a group. Joe has everything about him to be a leader.

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He's good looking, charismatic, confident.

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Joe has persuaded the rest of the lads to leave the confines of the hotel to go go-karting.

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He was the one who said let's go go-karting.

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If it wasn't for Joe, we'd be slobbing out at the pool.

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But half an hour later, there are still no go-karts in sight.

0:21:330:21:37

We've been walking for ages because someone took us the wrong way to find the go-karts.

0:21:370:21:46

I'd like to go go-karting but it's finding it for a start.

0:21:460:21:50

And getting the opening hours.

0:21:500:21:52

The organiser Joe has cocked it up again.

0:21:520:21:55

First time we've gone out and we're lost.

0:21:550:21:59

We don't know if it's open because apparently it's too hot.

0:21:590:22:01

We'll find out anyway.

0:22:010:22:03

This is a quality establishment. I like it.

0:22:030:22:06

This is my event organisation.

0:22:060:22:09

It took us about four hours to get here but we're here and ready.

0:22:090:22:12

I need a pint but there's no bar. I'm well annoyed!

0:22:120:22:15

# I don't want you to be no slave.... #

0:22:160:22:20

On the beach, the girls are checking out the local talent.

0:22:200:22:23

# But I want you to be true... #

0:22:260:22:30

They're all rather nice specimens.

0:22:300:22:34

Amy is the most outgoing of all of us.

0:22:340:22:37

She likes the boys.

0:22:370:22:39

She's gutsy, she'll walk up to someone if she wants to or if you do a dare, she'll definitely do it.

0:22:390:22:44

Have you guys seen...? The Greek god.

0:22:440:22:50

The water sports guy?

0:22:500:22:52

Hello!

0:22:520:22:54

I think we should film him on our camera.

0:22:540:22:55

Did you see him in the outdoor shower?

0:22:550:22:58

-Like in Sex And The City.

-He looked at me.

0:23:000:23:03

Unfortunately our guy was wearing panties.

0:23:030:23:07

To get a better view of this Greek god,

0:23:070:23:09

the girls are planning on taking a ride on Zeus's banana boat.

0:23:090:23:12

We're about to go banana boating.

0:23:120:23:16

-We budgeted for it.

-Just about.

-We didn't realise it would be this expensive.

0:23:160:23:22

We get taken out on a boat by Zeus.

0:23:220:23:25

-The Greek god!

-He's priceless!

0:23:250:23:28

Amy won't be the only one enjoying the view.

0:23:280:23:30

Bev and Yvonne have arrived at the hotel next door to catch a glimpse of Millie and the girls.

0:23:330:23:40

-Is that them?

-Who's that?

0:23:400:23:42

-Francis.

-Is that Millie?

0:23:440:23:46

Look at Millie!

0:23:530:23:54

She's putting on her life jacket.

0:23:540:23:56

Oh, my God.

0:23:560:23:58

I bet they're going on that bloomin' banana boat.

0:24:010:24:04

THEY SCREAM

0:24:130:24:15

Oh, look at this. That's fabulous.

0:24:170:24:21

Oh, he's zig-zagging.

0:24:280:24:30

He's trying to get them to come off.

0:24:300:24:31

GIGGLING

0:24:390:24:40

I feel really sneaky spying on Millie.

0:24:440:24:46

It's the sort of thing she thinks I do.

0:24:460:24:48

It's nice to see her in the flesh.

0:24:480:24:51

The unbroken flesh.

0:24:510:24:53

To be more precise!

0:24:530:24:54

I know parents worry about their children but I've gone to the nth degree.

0:24:580:25:02

It's made my life difficult. I feel restricted by it.

0:25:020:25:07

I'm sure Millie feels restricted and I don't want to spoil our relationship.

0:25:070:25:11

She's tolerated me all these years but if I carry on, the damage will be done.

0:25:110:25:18

I could always get some Pot Noodles.

0:25:180:25:21

The boys are on a tight budget.

0:25:210:25:23

Chicken and mushroom.

0:25:230:25:25

To make sure they have enough for essentials like booze, Joe and Ben have found a way to save money.

0:25:250:25:31

We need a favour.

0:25:310:25:32

-We bought some mussels, frozen mussels.

-First of all, why?

0:25:320:25:40

Because they're gourmet and we like mussels.

0:25:400:25:43

-Oh, OK.

-To be fair, they were quite cheap.

0:25:430:25:45

You want my opinion as a Greek person or as a woman?

0:25:450:25:48

Both. How do you heat them up?

0:25:480:25:52

Is it boiling water?

0:25:520:25:54

You're going to have them on their own, boiled?

0:25:540:25:58

You want something to make them taste better.

0:25:580:26:01

But we're not sure what to do with them.

0:26:010:26:04

Bless the woman who runs the hotel.

0:26:040:26:07

She gave us a lovely recipe.

0:26:070:26:09

But it involved feta cheese and olive oil, spices, tomato sauce and we thought it's too much effort.

0:26:090:26:17

Look at this, a pot noodle which already has herbs, spices, olive oil and chicken, sweetcorn.

0:26:170:26:22

Pour it in that and we're off.

0:26:220:26:24

That looks minging. Why have you put it in a bowl?

0:26:240:26:29

Because it looks more gourmet.

0:26:290:26:32

A nice sprinkle of the mussels on it.

0:26:320:26:36

It smells not very good.

0:26:360:26:38

It's called fish.

0:26:380:26:40

-I think it's quite nice.

-Not too bad.

0:26:440:26:46

-Do you want more mussels?

-I'm all right, mate.

0:26:460:26:50

Coming to Malia to secretly watch their kids was a difficult decision

0:26:530:26:56

but with Joe and Millie on the cusp of adulthood, the parents are keen to see how they cope on their own.

0:26:560:27:02

It was hard to come and do this but actually it was the best thing to do.

0:27:020:27:06

Being here has made me feel I've probably not given Millie enough credit.

0:27:060:27:13

And I'm sorry for that.

0:27:130:27:15

It's been quite difficult being on the same island and not doing anything about it.

0:27:150:27:19

He's 18, an adult but I feel as a mother I want to be with him and make sure he's OK.

0:27:190:27:26

It's 1:00am and the boys' night is just getting started.

0:27:330:27:36

They're heading to the Malibu Club, one of the busiest venues on the Strip.

0:27:360:27:40

ROWDY SINGING

0:27:400:27:41

Joe's parents, Clive and Angela, are also on their way to the Strip.

0:27:480:27:53

-I'm a bit nervous.

-Why?

-I don't know what to expect.

0:27:530:27:59

I'm nervous in case he spots us.

0:27:590:28:02

Ooh, ah, Malia, I say ooh ah Malia!

0:28:020:28:05

Ooh, ah, Malia, I say ooh ah Malia!

0:28:050:28:08

This is the true Joey, what we're seeing tonight.

0:28:080:28:11

-I wasn't expecting this.

-It's exactly what I was expecting.

0:28:170:28:21

I didn't expect to be going down a dirt track in the pitch black.

0:28:210:28:27

With the strip 50 yards away.

0:28:270:28:30

We can hear the music but can't see a thing.

0:28:300:28:32

It's so nerve-racking.

0:28:410:28:43

Here's the TV screen, let's have a look.

0:28:430:28:47

Whilst the kids are partying downstairs,

0:28:470:28:50

the parents are watching

0:28:500:28:51

on a live feed upstairs in the manager's office.

0:28:510:28:54

He's on somebody's shoulders!

0:28:540:28:56

No, Joey!

0:28:560:28:58

He's on Dom's shoulders.

0:28:580:29:01

At least he's not got that stupid tutu on.

0:29:010:29:03

They're fighting for the pole, I can't believe it.

0:29:030:29:06

Let the girls go on the pole, lads, and you watch.

0:29:060:29:10

# Ba, ba Americano... #

0:29:100:29:11

They look really happy tonight.

0:29:180:29:20

It's fantastic compared to last night.

0:29:200:29:24

If only he could see us up here now.

0:29:310:29:34

I don't think he'd be very happy.

0:29:340:29:37

We're just above you, mate.

0:29:410:29:43

Yep! We're watching you!

0:29:430:29:45

They're having a really good time.

0:29:470:29:49

It's a fantastic environment down there.

0:29:490:29:51

I feel we need to go down there and join them!

0:29:510:29:54

Moments after Clive and Angela leave, Joe gets into a play fight,

0:29:560:30:00

and for the second night running he's on his own.

0:30:000:30:03

There's a little bit of me still wanting him to be my baby.

0:30:050:30:09

She still calls him your baby, don't you, although he's six foot three.

0:30:090:30:13

He's got to be on his way now, really.

0:30:130:30:17

This is the start of it.

0:30:170:30:19

This is the start of his new road in life, really.

0:30:190:30:21

You all right, Joe?

0:30:210:30:23

-No, I'm not all right.

-Your lip hurting?

-I'm in pain.

0:30:270:30:31

My face hurts and me foot hurts.

0:30:310:30:35

It hurts so much.

0:30:370:30:39

I don't know where anyone is now.

0:30:390:30:41

Yeah, my foot, I kicked Dom on his shin and it really, really hurt.

0:30:410:30:46

I'm suffering a bit.

0:30:460:30:48

So that's why it hurts.

0:30:480:30:50

My mouth is bleeding. I can taste blood now.

0:30:550:30:59

-What's happened?

-Why do I taste blood?

0:30:590:31:01

Because I accidentally smashed a bottle and I still drank it.

0:31:010:31:05

This morning the parents

0:31:440:31:46

are watching footage of what they missed last night.

0:31:460:31:48

-Are you nervous?

-A bit.

0:31:480:31:50

Doesn't she look gorgeous?

0:31:530:31:55

-She's like a film star.

-Photogenic.

0:31:550:31:58

-Francis?

-No, Millie.

0:31:580:32:00

-Francis looks lovely.

-They both look gorgeous, like models.

0:32:000:32:03

Have you guys seen...

0:32:030:32:06

the Greek god?

0:32:060:32:07

That's a new bikini. I don't know that.

0:32:080:32:12

What are they talking about, a bloke? Greek god.

0:32:120:32:14

Like in Sex And The City with you!

0:32:170:32:19

Yeah, I was like this... And he looked at me and went like that!

0:32:190:32:22

Unfortunately our guy was wearing panties.

0:32:220:32:25

-Little strumpets.

-My mum will probably worry and be like,

0:32:250:32:28

oh, don't go on the banana boat.

0:32:280:32:30

She said that!

0:32:310:32:32

Too much danger!

0:32:320:32:34

THEY ALL LAUGH

0:32:340:32:36

Anybody would think I were a bit of a worrier.

0:32:390:32:44

I feel really happy for you, because I think that's lovely.

0:32:450:32:48

I think it's just shown them having a good time and chilling about the lovely pool area.

0:32:480:32:55

I'm a bit nervous about what's to come for us.

0:32:550:32:58

How glamorous do they look around people, the girls?

0:32:580:33:00

He's got nail varnish on.

0:33:000:33:04

He's got that suntan lotion that I bought him to put on his wrist,

0:33:040:33:07

just to make sure that he takes it when he goes out.

0:33:070:33:10

Yeah, but he's got nail varnish on, Angela.

0:33:100:33:12

My mum thought it was an absolutely brilliant idea, but I've not used it.

0:33:120:33:15

It is a brilliant idea! He's not used it!

0:33:150:33:19

She said I can wear it like when we go like out and about.

0:33:190:33:25

-Yes!

-I ain't going to carry that around,

0:33:250:33:28

am I, at the end of the day?

0:33:280:33:30

I'll get shot.

0:33:300:33:31

You'll get shot with that on but not with nail varnish on! Come on, Joe, get a life.

0:33:330:33:37

She's bought all this stuff and I've not even used it. I feel really bad.

0:33:370:33:41

Oh, my God. You should feel bad.

0:33:410:33:44

You all right, Joe?

0:33:480:33:51

Oh, my God. Where is everybody else?

0:33:510:33:53

No, I'm not all right.

0:33:530:33:54

I'm in pain.

0:33:560:33:57

My face hurts, my foot hurts.

0:33:580:34:01

It hurts so much.

0:34:030:34:05

I don't know where anyone is now.

0:34:050:34:07

He's on his own again.

0:34:070:34:10

My mouth is bleeding, I can taste blood now.

0:34:100:34:12

-He's got blood?

-He hasn't, has he?

0:34:120:34:16

I accidentally smashed a bottle and I still drank it.

0:34:160:34:19

That was strange.

0:34:220:34:26

But it's the look. I can tell, Joe's face, when he's not happy.

0:34:260:34:30

And he wasn't happy there, was he?

0:34:300:34:33

I was a bit upset to see him with a cut lip and blood on his foot.

0:34:330:34:39

We'll have to get the full story there, see what's been going on,

0:34:410:34:45

so I'm now a bit worried about as to what has been going on.

0:34:450:34:47

The girls...

0:34:470:34:49

are behaving really, really sensibly.

0:34:490:34:53

I'm just now wondering why I was so anxious and so worried.

0:34:530:34:58

They seem to be very, very tame, don't they?

0:34:580:35:00

They're more tame than they are at home.

0:35:000:35:03

I agree with that.

0:35:030:35:05

I'd like to see something more exciting happening with them,

0:35:050:35:08

really - really letting their hair down a bit and having a good time.

0:35:080:35:12

I don't think they seem to have done that yet.

0:35:120:35:14

Over at the girls' hotel, Amy is panicking.

0:35:250:35:28

Greek love god Zeus has turned up and is waiting for her in the hotel bar.

0:35:300:35:34

I was joking with our gorgeous Greek god, Zeus

0:35:340:35:39

and he was like, "Oh, yes, come out tonight, I come to your room".

0:35:390:35:42

I was thinking, "Yeah, yeah,"

0:35:420:35:44

And he's actually turned up.

0:35:440:35:45

So now I'm like, oh, my God, what the hell am I going to do?

0:35:450:35:48

No, like when you do it properly.

0:35:530:35:55

-It means I've got to wet my hair again.

-OK, leave it.

0:35:550:35:57

-It'll still look lovely.

-No!

0:35:570:35:59

Oh, for fuck's sake, I can't cope!

0:35:590:36:03

He's absolutely gorgeous and he just flirts a bit. Chill.

0:36:030:36:06

Ame, are you actually all right?

0:36:110:36:13

You sounded very upset. Because it's fine, we'll be ready.

0:36:130:36:17

-It'll be fine.

-Are we waiting for two more?

0:36:170:36:20

What time are they going to get here?

0:36:200:36:22

A few minutes.

0:36:250:36:27

Shall we stay here and have a drink?

0:36:270:36:30

Yeah.

0:36:300:36:31

Millie, Francis, you're here.

0:36:310:36:33

I feel we're not going to see Amy much tonight.

0:36:330:36:36

I think he's a bit pervy. He gave me a little look.

0:36:390:36:42

"Oui, oui, oui, me Greek man."

0:36:460:36:48

I think there might be a bit of a language barrier.

0:36:480:36:51

The conversation is lagging.

0:36:510:36:53

And the language barrier

0:36:580:36:59

appears to be too much and Zeus doesn't hang around.

0:36:590:37:02

He went off down to the bar with his friends,

0:37:020:37:05

but he said that he's going to come to the strip later,

0:37:050:37:09

so we'll see what happens.

0:37:090:37:12

I'm not fussed either way.

0:37:120:37:14

He's a lot more shy than when he was taking us in the banana boat, a bit like "neeurgh".

0:37:140:37:19

I'm quite happy to have a good night with our girlies.

0:37:190:37:22

But I really need a wee, so that's where I'm going.

0:37:220:37:25

It's four in the morning and Joe and his best mate Lloydy

0:37:260:37:29

are on their way back from the strip.

0:37:290:37:31

Everyone else has gone bed.

0:37:310:37:34

Actually, to be fair, everyone else has gone to bed.

0:37:340:37:37

We're the last men standing. I told you at the start of the night

0:37:370:37:40

I'd be the last one standing, and I'm proving it right here.

0:37:400:37:46

Dom and Chi Chi haven't made it to their beds.

0:37:570:38:00

Dom and Chi Chi. I was totally wrong.

0:38:000:38:02

I'm just worried about Dom.

0:38:020:38:04

-Chi Chi.

-Dom.

0:38:060:38:08

Two hours later at the girls' hotel, Amy has just arrived back after

0:38:310:38:35

getting separated from the others earlier in the night.

0:38:350:38:38

Are Millie and Francis already back?

0:38:380:38:41

The girls have been worried about her.

0:38:430:38:45

-Oh my God, Amy, we've been worried.

-Why have you been worried? I'm fine.

0:38:450:38:48

-Why are we screaming?

-Because the fucking cameras are on me.

0:38:480:38:53

The time is about half six, I think, in the morning.

0:38:530:38:57

I'm not totally sure. We've had a night out on the strip.

0:38:570:39:01

It was quite disjointed. We lost Amy for a little while.

0:39:010:39:04

It wasn't a big deal at all.

0:39:040:39:06

I kind of knew where she was and it was fine.

0:39:060:39:10

Like I say, just a bit of an emotional night.

0:39:100:39:12

I think she's just had a few too many to drink,

0:39:120:39:14

and...

0:39:140:39:16

like I don't know. She's thinking things bigger than they are,

0:39:160:39:20

and it's really not a big deal.

0:39:200:39:21

Joe and Millie's holiday is nearly over, and in less

0:39:320:39:35

than 24 hours their parents will reveal what they've been up to.

0:39:350:39:39

Am I missing my parents?

0:39:390:39:41

I feel terrible saying it,

0:39:410:39:44

but I've not really thought about them much because

0:39:440:39:47

half the time probably in Malia, I've been drunk,

0:39:470:39:49

so I've got no control of it, and the other half I've been asleep.

0:39:490:39:53

You're not really your true self with your parents.

0:39:530:39:56

You're kind of the person that they want you to be.

0:39:560:40:00

Then when you're with your boys, then you can just

0:40:000:40:02

unleash yourself a bit, just have a bit more fun.

0:40:020:40:05

I think my mum would have let me do all the things we've been doing.

0:40:110:40:14

However it would have been a bit more of a drag because she'd obviously have to have her say.

0:40:140:40:20

When it's just you girls, and it's just your friends,

0:40:200:40:23

you want to do the same kind of thing.

0:40:230:40:25

There's no one saying, well, be careful or anything like that.

0:40:250:40:29

It's nice just to... it's more relaxing in that sense.

0:40:290:40:32

It's half past 12 - another big night in Malia.

0:40:360:40:40

Let's get fucked!

0:40:400:40:41

Everybody wants a bit of the cock.

0:40:410:40:43

Tonight both groups of teenagers are going to one of the strip's biggest venues, the Candy Club.

0:40:480:40:53

And so are their parents.

0:40:570:41:00

I'm hoping to see them having a bit of fun tonight.

0:41:000:41:03

The clips that I've seen, the girls have not been particularly

0:41:030:41:08

dancing, so as we're going to a club,

0:41:080:41:10

that should be really good.

0:41:100:41:12

As the girls warm up with some drinking games,

0:41:170:41:19

the parents are making their way down a back street behind the strip.

0:41:190:41:23

I'm in a hot sweat. I don't know why I'm getting in a hot sweat.

0:41:370:41:41

This is the last opportunity for the parents to see

0:41:410:41:43

how their kids behave when they're not around.

0:41:430:41:46

Joe and Millie have just met in the club...

0:41:500:41:53

And there's no keeping them apart.

0:41:550:41:57

Millie's kissing.

0:41:590:42:01

She's kissing Joe!

0:42:010:42:03

No, she's not. He's whispering to her.

0:42:030:42:05

-Just talking.

-Looks like they're kissing to me.

0:42:050:42:07

Oh, my God.

0:42:130:42:15

Oh, my lord.

0:42:190:42:22

How big's your garden...

0:42:220:42:24

for a marquee?

0:42:240:42:26

It's nice to see Joe without a dress on, to be honest.

0:42:270:42:31

-And there's no nail varnish.

-Oh, I say!

0:42:310:42:33

It's the Cheeky Girls.

0:42:380:42:40

I want to be up there doing that.

0:42:450:42:50

It'd take me 20 minutes to get up there.

0:42:500:42:53

It's been brilliant.

0:43:020:43:03

I'm glad we saw all this, aren't you? It's been absolutely fantastic.

0:43:030:43:06

It's been brilliant to watch them having such a good time.

0:43:060:43:09

This is what I hoped we'd see.

0:43:090:43:10

They were all really happy, Millie's group and our group,

0:43:100:43:14

and joining up together just like really good friends,

0:43:140:43:17

like they'd known each other for ages.

0:43:170:43:19

They just seemed really happy to be together.

0:43:190:43:21

Millie, Joe and Chi Chi have had a good time.

0:43:240:43:27

But moments after the parents leave

0:43:270:43:29

the evening takes a turn for the worse.

0:43:290:43:32

Come with me now. I swear on my fucking life, come here.

0:43:370:43:40

Joe has just heard from one of the lads that Chi Chi has been punched in the face by a stranger.

0:43:400:43:45

He's trying to find him.

0:43:450:43:48

Chi has been hit.

0:43:480:43:50

-Come on!

-Fuck off, seriously.

0:43:500:43:53

I don't know.

0:43:530:43:55

We were dancing on the dance floor and this guy grabbed this guy in the white T shirt that was our friend,

0:43:570:44:02

but I didn't notice it was him, and this other one started smacking him

0:44:020:44:06

and then he came out and I realised it was him

0:44:060:44:08

because I'd been dancing with him and he'd bought me a drink,

0:44:080:44:12

and so I went off after him but I had blood all over me and he was like,

0:44:120:44:15

"I'm fine, I'm fine," it all over his face.

0:44:150:44:17

Joe tracks down Chi Chi at the medical centre.

0:44:170:44:20

Did he go up to you and hit you?

0:44:200:44:23

What a prick.

0:44:230:44:24

Have a good night...

0:44:280:44:29

The last thing I want is for you to go out and find a fight.

0:44:290:44:32

-Just have a good night...

-Chi, fucking look at you, Chi.

0:44:320:44:35

Every day the doctors here deal with up to 50 violence related injuries.

0:44:350:44:40

Help her, help her.

0:44:420:44:44

Chi Chi has been told by the doctors at the medical centre to come back tomorrow for an X ray.

0:44:470:44:52

What happened, I went for a piss, I came outside,

0:44:520:44:55

walking towards the lads, and someone just hit me in the face.

0:44:550:44:59

So I stood up and was like "what?"

0:44:590:45:02

He hit me in the face again,

0:45:020:45:03

so I thought fuck this, started getting involved,

0:45:030:45:06

and it was mates, mates, mates, and I thought fuck this, so I shoved them all aside and walked outside.

0:45:060:45:12

I knew that he would not have done anything wrong because he's not the sort of guy,

0:45:120:45:16

so a few of us were just a bit like, we just wanted to see who it was and say to him, "Why did you do that?"

0:45:160:45:21

We didn't want him to get away with it cos at the end of the day it's

0:45:210:45:24

one of our best mates who's been hit for no reason, so we wanted to get to the bottom of it.

0:45:240:45:28

I just hope he can come out tomorrow, seriously.

0:45:280:45:31

I hope it doesn't ruin his holiday.

0:45:310:45:33

It's the last day of the holiday.

0:45:370:45:39

Tonight, Millie and Joe will find out exactly what their parents have been up to.

0:45:390:45:44

But right now the boys have only one thing on their minds.

0:45:440:45:48

How are you doing, Chi? You all right, mate? What's up?

0:45:480:45:51

Chi Chi, who has been at the hospital all morning.

0:45:510:45:53

I'm sorry, Chi, mate.

0:45:530:45:56

Bad news. Chi just rang.

0:45:560:45:58

He has to stay another night, because he's got a thing on his nose.

0:45:580:46:01

He has to stay for two nights, so he can't fly back with us. James is going to stay with him.

0:46:010:46:06

He has to stay in the hospital.

0:46:060:46:08

They've done this operation and they said you have to wait 48 hours.

0:46:080:46:11

Chi Chi doesn't want his broken nose to ruin the final night.

0:46:170:46:21

So the lads are going ahead with their plans to celebrate Bitch's 19th birthday.

0:46:210:46:26

# Happy birthday to Bitch

0:46:260:46:28

# Happy birthday to you. #

0:46:280:46:32

Make a wish.

0:46:320:46:35

Everyone is upset about Chi Chi's nose and how he can't be here today for the final day.

0:46:350:46:40

But looking back on it, we've had a good week anyway, and he said to

0:46:400:46:44

me on the phone earlier, "Have a good night for me".

0:46:440:46:47

So I'll make sure that happens.

0:46:470:46:49

But their party is about to be gatecrashed.

0:46:520:46:54

I just can't wait to see their faces when we start explaining that

0:46:580:47:01

we've been in the nightclubs with them and we've been on the strip.

0:47:010:47:04

They're going to be in turmoil when they realise that we've been following them around for a week.

0:47:070:47:11

For this game you're going to be blindfolded. It's a taste test.

0:47:110:47:15

The lads are finishing their holiday just as they started -

0:47:150:47:19

with more drinking games.

0:47:190:47:20

I've got butterflies in my stomach now.

0:47:220:47:25

I just want to get it over and done with now.

0:47:250:47:27

It's quite exciting.

0:47:270:47:29

It's very exciting.

0:47:290:47:31

I love this sort of thing, but even I'm sort of got the butterflies.

0:47:310:47:34

I'm going to place a shot glass in everyone's hand.

0:47:340:47:39

There's nothing in it yet.

0:47:390:47:41

Three, two, one, drink.

0:47:460:47:49

-Ready?

-Are you going to tiptoe?

-I'll tiptoe.

0:47:510:47:54

-Keep the taste in your mind.

-I'll drink that all day.

0:47:540:47:58

Three, two, one, drink.

0:48:020:48:04

Now, one at a time, I'm going to ask you what you've been drinking. Joe.

0:48:070:48:11

Yes.

0:48:110:48:13

-What was your first shot?

-Peach schnapps.

0:48:130:48:16

-What was your second shot?

-Apple sours.

0:48:160:48:18

-What was your third shot?

-Peppermint mouthwash.

0:48:180:48:21

Are you absolutely positive?

0:48:210:48:23

-No.

-Remove your blindfold, Joe.

0:48:230:48:25

Surprise!

0:48:300:48:32

We've been watching you!

0:48:320:48:35

THEY ALL SCREAM AND SHOUT

0:48:350:48:37

We've been watching you the whole time!

0:48:460:48:49

-We've been watching you since the first day of your holiday.

-Literally live?

0:48:490:48:55

Yeah. We've been down the Strip, in the nightclubs, haven't we?

0:48:550:48:59

We've been in the nightclubs. We've been here the whole time.

0:48:590:49:02

We've been to the Malibu Club.

0:49:020:49:06

-Oh, shit!

-We watched you on the podium.

0:49:070:49:10

-What about your sun cream?

-I've used it every day, Mum.

0:49:100:49:12

You haven't. I know you haven't.

0:49:120:49:14

Shit!

0:49:140:49:16

"Who's going to wear one of those bangles of suncream?

0:49:160:49:19

-"My mum's packed me this."

-Crap.

0:49:190:49:21

-How do you feel about seeing us?

-I'm happy.

0:49:210:49:24

It's a bit weird.

0:49:240:49:26

We wanted to see how you behaved on holiday when you first sort of the holiday with the lads.

0:49:260:49:31

Shit, then. Oh, crap.

0:49:310:49:33

We wanted to know, like a fly on a wall sort of thing.

0:49:330:49:36

What did you think, then?

0:49:360:49:38

We've seen video coverage that was quite distressing

0:49:380:49:42

to us as parents, honestly.

0:49:420:49:44

-What? What?

-With those blokes...

0:49:440:49:48

With the blokes, that was quite upsetting to me,

0:49:480:49:51

I have to say, first of all to see you in a dress and nail varnish.

0:49:510:49:55

To be serious about it, we weren't sure if they were joking or not.

0:49:550:49:59

-I can't even remember.

-You know what happened to Chi last night.

0:49:590:50:03

You was in a vulnerable position that night with those two guys.

0:50:030:50:06

Although they were messing around with you,

0:50:060:50:09

they could have been muggers.

0:50:090:50:11

But you was in such a state that you weren't to know if you'd been mugged or knifed or whatever, had you?

0:50:110:50:16

That's a concern to us as parents.

0:50:160:50:18

We loved the times when you're having a great time.

0:50:180:50:20

-We had a good time anyway, didn't we, boys?

-ALL: Yeah!

0:50:200:50:23

What's the song? Ooh, aah, Malia.

0:50:230:50:26

Say ooh, aah, Malia.

0:50:260:50:28

Oh, my days! I'm pleased to see them - obviously, it's your mum and dad.

0:50:300:50:34

But you're not pleased to see them with my boys in Malia

0:50:340:50:37

because it's just like hold on,

0:50:370:50:39

this is the reason why I came to Malia, to get away from them.

0:50:390:50:43

It's 3am and Bev is preparing to surprise Millie.

0:50:440:50:49

-I'm nervous now.

-What do you think she's going to say?

0:50:490:50:52

I haven't a clue.

0:50:520:50:54

In fact...

0:50:540:50:56

I didn't even think about it until you said.

0:50:560:50:58

-I know, I've worried you, haven't I?

-You've really worried me about that.

0:50:580:51:01

I didn't think that Millie would be cross.

0:51:010:51:04

You know better than I do.

0:51:040:51:05

I know, but you've set me thinking now.

0:51:050:51:07

I don't think she's going to turn around and say "Get lost".

0:51:070:51:10

-If she does, can you pick me up off the floor?

-I will.

0:51:100:51:13

Millie and the girls are determined

0:51:180:51:20

to make their last night in Malia one to remember.

0:51:200:51:22

Off, off, off, off, off!

0:51:220:51:26

I don't think my mum would like the strip at all.

0:51:340:51:38

She'd say everyone was uncouth,

0:51:380:51:40

which I guess they are.

0:51:400:51:42

But you've just got to go with it.

0:51:420:51:45

Mum is about to see for herself.

0:51:450:51:47

She's on the strip and heading towards Millie.

0:51:470:51:50

X Factor!

0:51:500:51:53

Let me give you a fucking mangina, shall we?

0:51:530:51:55

I don't know, I didn't look!

0:52:010:52:03

All right, OK, are we ready for this?

0:52:100:52:12

I am.

0:52:120:52:14

Shit!

0:52:190:52:22

You've no idea. Do you know how long I've been here?

0:52:290:52:31

-How long?

-Five days.

0:52:310:52:33

What?! You've been here the whole time? You never went to Malta?

0:52:330:52:37

I've seen you on a banana boat.

0:52:370:52:41

I was hiding behind the thing with binoculars!

0:52:410:52:43

Guess where I went last night?

0:52:450:52:47

-We were there.

-We were there.

-Did you see us?

0:52:520:52:55

We were watching you.

0:52:550:52:58

We've been ducking and diving. Are you cross with me?

0:52:580:53:02

No!

0:53:020:53:02

I thought you might have been.

0:53:020:53:04

Listen - I did it because I thought if

0:53:080:53:10

there's a problem then I can be there.

0:53:100:53:12

If it had been you that had been smashed in't face I'd have been able to come.

0:53:120:53:16

But now I've done it, I'm not going to do it again because...

0:53:160:53:19

Please don't do this on another holiday.

0:53:190:53:22

Actually seeing what you've done and how you've coped,

0:53:220:53:25

I'm really proud of you.

0:53:250:53:27

I don't have to bother, do I?

0:53:270:53:29

Give us a kiss.

0:53:290:53:31

The next day and Clive and Angela

0:53:370:53:39

are catching up with Joe before they fly home.

0:53:390:53:41

I was absolutely shocked to see you.

0:53:410:53:43

When I took the blindfold off, I just thought, oh, no.

0:53:430:53:46

I didn't know what to do. I never saw it coming.

0:53:460:53:48

We've been a fly on the wall,

0:53:480:53:50

and I don't know if I'd want to be a fly on a wall again,

0:53:500:53:53

but we've had an insight into your sort of holiday, what you enjoy, how you get on with your friends.

0:53:530:54:00

We're proud to have such a nice child that we've brought up,

0:54:000:54:06

and you're a credit to our family.

0:54:060:54:08

We're so proud of you this week.

0:54:080:54:10

If I wasn't so hungover I'd probably cry.

0:54:100:54:14

Thank you.

0:54:140:54:15

After a week of watching Millie from afar, Bev's finally getting some mother-daughter time.

0:54:170:54:22

Being able to see you this week from a distance, I've seen you completely differently.

0:54:220:54:28

The differences at home

0:54:280:54:31

in our house I saw you as my child...

0:54:310:54:35

but seeing you here, I saw you as an adult.

0:54:350:54:39

I think this experience has been brilliant timing

0:54:390:54:43

because I'm on the cusp of everything that's going to start happening,

0:54:430:54:46

like moving into a new house.

0:54:460:54:48

You won't know where I am all the time,

0:54:480:54:50

and actually I'd be fine, but you wouldn't. I think this...

0:54:500:54:55

You've got more out of this experience than I have.

0:54:550:54:58

You were always mine.

0:55:020:55:04

When you were born, you were always mine.

0:55:040:55:08

You've been the only thing that has been constant in my life.

0:55:100:55:14

When you were born, my mum said...

0:55:160:55:18

"Bev will never be on her own again".

0:55:240:55:27

And you won't.

0:55:360:55:37

No, I won't.

0:55:390:55:41

That's why it's been so hard

0:55:410:55:44

to let you go.

0:55:440:55:45

Give me a hug.

0:55:490:55:52

Don't get mascara on my top, though.

0:55:520:55:55

-I love you, do you know that?

-Yeah, I love you, too.

0:55:550:55:57

Next time it's high thrills...

0:56:000:56:02

Dancing...

0:56:020:56:04

Snogging...

0:56:060:56:07

She needs to put them boobs away.

0:56:070:56:09

And getting busted with your pants down on party island Ibiza.

0:56:090:56:14

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:56:270:56:29

Email [email protected]

0:56:290:56:32

BBC Three throws open the doors on the ultimate rite of passage for the average teenager - the first ever summer holiday abroad without their parents. But what these teenagers couldn't possibly have guessed is that whilst they enjoy their first taste of freedom, with all its temptations and excesses, they are being secretly watched... by their parents. It will be an eye-opening experience, but will it bring them closer together or drive them further apart?

It's sun, sea, boozing and brawling in Malia, as 18-year-old Joe Major leaves his doting family behind for one last blowout with the lads before they go their separate ways, while 18-year-old art student Millie Butler escapes from her mum for her first ever girls' holiday.

Mayhem ensues as Joe begins his holiday by throwing up in the toilet before hitting the strip clad in tutu and nail varnish, and in the same resort Millie lets loose with her girlfriends. Both are blissfully unaware that their shocked parents are there to witness it all.

As Joe tries to hold his holiday and his mates together amidst a bust-up and a trip to the hospital, his parents must come to terms with some of his more outrageous party antics. Meanwhile, Millie's ever-watchful mum realises that her daughter has grown up and it's time she finally let her go.


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