Two desperate mums send their wayward teens Jade and Connor to Seattle to be straightened out by old-fashioned, strict, evangelical Christians, the Smith Irwin family.
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Around the world, many parents raise their kids on a diet of strict discipline...
As I am I'm the head of the house, I expect them to obey these rules,
whether we are right or not.
Say sorry. You will not do again.
My father controls my life every day.
Are we going to see some progress?
..and immediate consequences.
But can traditional parenting change the lives
of rebellious British teenagers?
-Come and get me, I'm drinking underage.
I took LSD, cocaine,
When you're 17, you need to go out, you need to party,
because before you know it, you will be like, that's it, game over.
I'm not coming back today, by the way. See you in 20 years!
She's so incredibly rude.
She's just a cow, really.
-So disrespecting me, telling me to eff off.
-Dad, just be quiet!
Cheers! I don't really care what people think about me. Rules are made for breaking.
To find out, two teens who have never met before
will leave their fraught families behind...
Go on, give us a hug. Come on.
Behave yourself, Shola.
..and head off to the far corners of the world,
where they will live according to strict rules imposed by new parents.
-Do you want a punch? Do you want a punch?
Get off me. Get off.
Do me a favour and, for once, put some effort into your life.
-Get off, get off!
-Move out, move out, just go out.
-The world does not revolve around you.
-That's why I'm trying to walk away and she's following me.
They can't programme me.
If all the British teenagers were like them - no good.
This programme contains some strong language.
What's your problem?
Do you know how it is to walk in heels?
18-year-old party girl Jade Bare doesn't know when to stop.
She stays out all night boozing.
My life is going out and getting drunk, shopping, looking good,
getting told I look good and just having fun.
But Jade's drinking is out of control.
Start out getting drunk at my friend's house or my house.
Drink a bit, on the way here, drink a bit, go to a bar,
drink a bit, get here, drink a bit.
By the time we leave - legless.
Mum Rebecca is at the end of her tether.
It's getting out of hand and it's painful
to see somebody just, literally, destroy themselves.
Jade was raised in East London by her single mum,
after her dad left when she was young.
I have given her everything. I've put everything on hold for her.
I've been a father and mother in her life for the last 18 years.
But that never stopped Jade idolising her dad.
I really, really, really, really loved my dad.
He was like a proper main part in my life.
And with Jade's dad dying two years ago, it's made matters worse.
Now he's gone, I don't really care about anyone else.
I don't even care about his side of the family.
I only cared about my dad.
When she lost her dad,
I think that's when things really again just got out of hand.
Jade's relationship with her traditional Ugandan mum
is now at breaking point.
I just don't feel like I want to be around my mum any more.
You call to say, "When are you coming back?" She doesn't answer the phone.
You do the waiting game until she comes back.
-Jade, you need to look respectable.
-I do look respectable.
No, no, you're going out and walking out like that?
I'm not going to say what I feel that you look like.
I just come home when I come home - if I come home.
I'm not coming back today, by the way. See you in 20 years!
If I weren't going out, I'd just be depressed.
But since I go out, I just think it's fun.
There's no point of life if you're not going to go out.
I feel I'm losing her, there's no connection, we're losing that...
No relationship between mother and daughter.
Connor, your brother had £10 in his wallet.
I never touched it.
Sorry, I don't believe you, I just don't believe you any more.
-So who took it, then?
-I don't know.
What the fairies come in, did they?
17-year-old stoner Connor Jones,
is stealing off his family, to fund his drug habit.
I smoked it once a week, twice a week, three times a week and now, every day.
But I have to smoke more than £10-worth, otherwise it won't affect me.
Connor lives with single mum Sue and younger brother Harry,
but he doesn't lift a finger around the house.
Connor's day - basically, he gets up and goes out and meets his mates.
Probably go and smoke some dope, have some drink.
Comes back, stays up all night and sleeps all day.
But not having a job doesn't stop Connor from splashing the cash.
I used to spend at least £100 a week, easily.
Any money, it would be on weed.
Out of work and with no education,
Connor's disruptive behaviour is ripping the family apart.
-When are you going to do something with your life?
-I went to the Job Centre yesterday.
-You don't work, you've got no money coming in.
-I have now, haven't I?
-£50 a week and what is that going to be spent on? Dope.
-Yeah, well, it's my money - my money, my life.
Oh, I have sat down and cried on my own. I've sat down and thought, "Where have I gone wrong?"
I'm just hoping, in a few years' time, that he realises what he is doing.
But it's not just his mum who is affected by his behaviour.
I'm a dad.
He's seven months now. A little kid called Louis.
With the girl for eight months and she fell pregnant.
She had the kid. I haven't really paid any attention to it, to be honest.
The first two months, he was a really good dad,
but then after that, he just started fading away.
I'd ask him to come round and help me and he was just like, "Nah, I'm with my mates."
Obviously, he was with his mates, getting stoned.
I've probably seen him, since he was born, twice,
maybe about five times, probably.
If I had a tenner, I'd think, "Louis or weed?" I'd buy weed with it."
In a desperate bid to change their lives, Jade and Connor's mums
are sending them overseas,
to live under another family's strict regime.
-OK, bye, Jade. Be good.
She's a lovely girl when she wants to be,
but I have to say, in the past two years,
I don't understand her myself
and I would say it's her last chance to get things right.
-See you later.
-All right, bye.
He has got a soft spot, but he can be very headstrong
and, hopefully, they'll be stronger than him.
-You all right? I'm Jade.
-I'm Connor. How are you feeling?
-I'm well scared, are you, about..?
-They ain't taking my fags.
-Come on, then.
MUSIC: "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
Connor and Jade will be heading to Seattle,
the largest American city in the Pacific North-west.
28 miles from the centre of town, they'll be staying with
the Smith-Irwin family,
under the watchful eyes of mum and dad, Denise and Rob.
The couple both have children from their previous marriages.
Denise's sons, 21-year-old Josh and 17-year-old Isaiah
and Rob's daughters, 16-year-old Laura and 14-year-old Brooklyn.
Lord God, bless this food into our body...
The couple are a united front, with strong beliefs.
Quite often, when I'm
having conversations, I will use the term...WWJD.
What Would Jesus Do?
You know, every step of our lives and our decisions
are strongly based on Christian fundamental belief.
To us, it's basically a daily part of life.
And it was their faith that helped Denise,
after an accident left her paralysed.
The last thing I remember is crossing the double yellow line and the SUV that we ran
rolled over three times and the roof crushed in over my head,
so I ended up with a spinal cord injury.
You have to make a choice, whether you're gonna let that stop you
or just make you stronger. I was always strong in my faith.
That's what pulled me through a lot - faith.
Cool, nice shot.
But the accident has not stopped Denise
handing out the rules and chores around the house.
-What are you doing?
-My mom, she's strict.
Looks like you tidied up a bit.
Probably the most enforced rule -
no drugs and no drinking or tobacco products.
Go ahead guys, clean up.
We're expecting them to follow our rules
and deal with the consequences if they're not.
After an 11-hour flight, the teens land in Seattle
and head to their new family.
I just hope to God that they're not just complete twats.
I am proper nervous now, now we're coming up to it.
Wow, look at their house.
All right, here they come.
-I think the one with the belly on the end, that's the dad.
-He's fat, ain't he?
-How are you doing?
Good to see you.
We're so glad you're here, nice to meet you.
-Hi, how are you?
It's wonderful to meet you. Hello, dear.
We're so glad you're here. Let's go inside and show you the house.
This will be your room, Connor, this week.
What, in 'ere, yeah?
-I've never seen such a clean room.
-Neither have I. Everything's perfect.
The mum seems nice. Mum seems really nice,
she seems like a real nice girl, but the dad...
-Dad seems like proper like...
-Proper weird, doesn't he? He's like a ginger freak.
Them kids at school you never liked, the old gingers.
The house is massive. I've never seen a house like that in England.
I was proper shocked. It's proper nice, like, it seems a bit
upper class, though, innit, like a bit higher market?
Got to take your shoes off when you're walking through the house, it's like, yeah...
Before the teens settle in, Denise and Rob want to explain
what they expect over the next seven days.
Could you guys come down here, we'll have a quick talk.
Hi, you guys.
Well, now is the time
we need to talk about house rules.
First, and primary things that we insist on, is that
we don't permit drinking, smoking - no alcohol, no cannabis,
Is there no way we can smoke anywhere - outside the house?
We're expecting that you're going to give up your cigarettes
and that there's not going to be any smoking.
I won't be giving up my cigarettes.
-We'll have to come to some kind of agreement on that.
-Five a day.
Um, shoot for three, shoot for three.
-Come on, I know you can do it.
-Four a day, I'll compromise at four, that's in the middle.
Do your daily chore. Jade, your chore will be setting the table for dinner, and then, Connor,
your chore will be after the dinner, dishes are cleared,
to wipe off this table and the counters after dinner, each day.
Computer, we do have, over there on the wall.
There is one for everyone to use. You may use that, we do not allow Facebook.
-What do you use your computer for, if you can't go on Facebook?
-There's an amazing number
of things you can do with a computer, without getting into a social network.
-I want to clear up something. Smoking, where would you want me to smoke?
-Off the premises.
-Maybe off on the street.
-On the street, between the cul de sac.
What just around the corner, sort of thing?
-The circle thing at the end of the pavement.
Right, I'm going for a fag.
There's, like, ten people to fucking set a table for.
I ain't setting no table, that's just bullshit.
I'll eat at the table, I don't mind. If you're upstairs, that's fine.
Yeah, you ain't got to set the table, that's why you'll eat off it. I've got to set it.
-I ain't touching any of that stuff.
-That's just bullshit.
-They're zombified in that house.
They need some fucking alcohol in them, that's what they need.
Every weekend, the whole family has to work together on the household chores.
The British teens have only just arrived, but that doesn't mean they're exempt.
OK, so today's Saturday and we're going to do our yard work chores,
so let's all pitch in and do it together so we can get it all done and have fun, OK?
Connor, we'll have you work on pulling the weeds.
-So how long is this all going to take?
-It may take up to two hours or so.
-Two hours?! Pulling weeds?!
At home, Jade never lifts a finger to help her mum.
-What's weeds? Them green stuff?
-Yeah, all the green stuff.
Can't I just sit down?
Maybe you just like help out for a little bit and then maybe...
I'll pretend to be over here.
True to form, she decides to leave the others to it.
I'm not really interested. I looked well bored.
I think I looked proper rude, I was well bored.
But I'm not doing no yard work.
It's proper hot, as well.
Might just pretend to faint.
-Yeah, I've got really bad hayfever. I'm actually not lying.
Yeah, like really bad.
I don't have any info on your medical stuff,
so I'm going to take your word for it. Fine?
Jade may have got out of yard work,
but she still needs to help Denise with some other chores.
Connor is hard at work,
but that doesn't mean he's sticking to the rules.
Defying Denise and Rob, he sparks up right outside the house.
Take a break, take five.
I don't want to take a break, I want to get it done, I'd rather sit here smoking and get it done.
We're going to stick to the rules, we talked about it.
You'd be more happy, me getting it done. It makes more sense,
me getting it done, instead of taking a break.
I don't want a break, I'd rather get it done and smoke.
We did our negotiation earlier at the dinner table.
Take a break, take five minutes down at the road.
I don't want a break.
Well, if you want to smoke, just go down to the road there.
I'm not having a break, I'm not breaking.
-Here we go, perfect. We need five pounds.
Yeah, they look good.
Shopping done, Denise seizes the chance to get to know Jade better.
What do you do when you're at home?
I'm not at home a lot, I don't like being around my mum
anymore, she just shouts so much, so I just avoid it.
Tell me more about your family, because you talk about your mom,
why not your cousins, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, dad?
My dad died when I was 15,
just before my 16th birthday, yeah, so now it's just really like
my aunts, my uncles and my cousins and stuff, so yeah.
That's so sad, I didn't know about your father.
That was fairly recent, that was just a couple of years ago.
It only happened two years ago, hmm.
Do you miss your dad?
I don't really like talking about it or nothing.
I'd rather just forget it.
Sometimes things are really hard in life,
but this could be a challenge.
If you think about it and you talk about it,
instead of bottling things up,
you let things out and discuss them, you feel better inside.
An hour after signing up to the rules,
Connor's having second thoughts.
I know I said I'm going to do four,
I only did that to keep you happy, because I didn't want to sit there
and just absolutely argue straight away.
I take a man at his word, and I don't appreciate
the deceitfulness that you decided to try to fool us this morning.
I wasn't trying to fool you at all.
You just said that to appease us,
you had no intention of following through with your word.
I want to change my word, then.
Then it's not going to work in this household,
because we are not going to permit somebody to come in and smoke.
Can we change how many I'm on a day, then?
Can't we put up how many I'm on a day, then?
Listen, you want to compromise?
Yeah, I want to change four a day, cos that is bad.
I'm going to give you six a day for two days, then we're back
to four on Monday, is that going to work for you?
And don't tell me something to try to appease me.
I want to know the truth on this, because I've got to make a decision.
-So I've had two now, so I can have four more.
-Yes. You're in?
Yeah, all right.
He's going to make some type of an agreement just as a way
to pacify us. That's not good enough for a man,
a man's got to put his word out there and be honest
to his word, so I'm holding him to his honesty.
And it seems Jade's doing no better at sticking to her word.
Still dragging her heels over chores, Denise has to jog her memory.
-Set the table so we can eat.
-I don't know how to.
-I'll help you.
-The other way.
Yeah, but closer.
Fork and spoon, fork on your left, that on your right.
Might as well just go to a restaurant.
Yeah, sometimes it's easier,
but it's nice to have a home-cooked meal sometimes, too.
Can I rest for a minute? My legs hurt.
-Your legs hurt?
Don't try to fool me! I know you're tired,
so come on, finish up so we can eat, you need one more napkin,
and the cups are way down on the counter.
I'll wait for you out here. This is taking an awful long time.
I'm not doing it tomorrow, that was proper tiring.
I felt like a slave.
Connor's also irritated by Denise and Rob's regime,
and vents his frustration on 17-year-old Isaiah.
Smoking rule's annoying, but I'm keeping to my word on that,
but the rules are pretty straightforward.
-I'm grounded this week, I can't do anything.
-You're grounded, yeah.
I got grounded for two weeks cos I came home late one time.
What, for just coming in late, how late was you?
An hour and a half.
-You were grounded for three weeks?
-Two weeks, for being an hour and a half late?
I would just go out anyway, that's awful.
For Denise and Rob, the evening meal is the cornerstone of family life.
Lord, you are my shepherd, I shall not want,
thank you for bringing our two guests here today.
We love this opportunity to have Jade and Connor with us
for the remainder of this week and we hope it can be very productive.
-Bless this food to our body. Amen.
-Do you always pray, before every meal?
-Dinner time meals, yeah.
We feel it's important to be thankful for the things we have.
-What's your favourite dish in England?
-Chicken and chips.
-Do you like your chicken done any special way, barbecued?
-I like Nando's.
-Do you not have Nando's here?
-No, what are they?
I don't even have dinner with my mum but, if I do,
I just go to my room and watch telly.
These people are proper family.
I think sometimes you just want to do your own thing
but they seem all together, you've got to be together. I don't really like it.
It's just like when they go out and do their meals and pray
and all that, it's so weird, it's random, how they do everything,
everything's really organized, and they run everything day-by-day,
like a schedule sort of thing, I run my day like a flow,
just go with the plan, see what happens, if I want to do something I'll do that.
# Born in the USA, I was born in the USA... #
It's the teens' second day in Seattle, and the 4th of July.
One of the biggest days in the American calendar,
where they celebrate independence from the British.
Knowing Connor has an eight-month-old son, Rob wants to know how he intends to support him.
What do you think it costs you for cannabis, and all this?
50-60 a day, and then at the weekend it could be like 500.
That's awful, if you took that money and you packed it away
for a month, what do you think you would do with all that money?
I would probably just buy some Xbox stuff or just buy something for my room.
That's a lot of money you could put aside,
think about how you could use that money for your son.
Obviously I'll put some away for him in his own little piggy bank, whatever you want to call it.
-I'm going out for a fag.
I'd like to see him step up and state he's going to take on
a manly responsibility for raising a good household.
It takes a lot to raise a baby, and he's going to be faced
with some more difficult challenges than he's ever seen before.
Independence Day is a time for celebration, but for homesick Jade,
yesterday's talk of her father means that, for once,
she is not in the mood to party.
Hey, look at me,
is everything OK?
Are you sure?
You know, if you need to talk,
just to let me know
and we'll go off to the side and have a chat,
because I really want to know what's going on with you.
I'm all right.
I don't think you're OK, actually.
I know you're not OK.
I wish I could give you a hug.
Can you come over and give me a hug? Just turn around a little bit? No?
You're sad about something.
I'm all right.
Jade, when there's tears rolling down your face...
My eyes are just itchy.
Back in the UK, Jade would drown her sorrows in drink, but in America
it's not just the family's rules that are getting in her way.
I really want to go to a corner shop and get a bottle of vodka
and just go to the park and sit there and drink,
but I can't do that here cos I'm not 21.
As part of the Independence Day celebrations, the Smith Irwin family
has been invited to a neighbour's party.
For Denise and Rob, it's a good opportunity to test Jade and Connor's resolve.
There's going to be some alcohol there.
We don't want to take any of that.
I don't drink a lot, so it don't bother me.
How about you, Jade, do you think it's going to be a temptation?
Just remember our rules, no drinking, no smoking, no drugs.
Same goes over there, we're all going there as a family,
use your manners and be polite,
we'll have a good time and stay away from the alcohol.
At the neighbour's party, being confronted with the temptation
of alcohol means Jade can't shake it from her mind.
Did you get drunk when you were younger? Did you go to clubs?
21 is pretty strictly enforced around here.
I started buying alcohol when I was like 14, 15.
I wouldn't call it a party, I would not call today a party,
at all, more like a little adults' gathering.
In terms of alcohol I might smuggle one just for the fact that
I want some alcohol, get a little cup.
With the Independence Day fireworks in full swing, Jade and Connor
decide to sneak into the neighbour's house...
-They've got them little fruity things!
And Jade is quick to grab the alcohol.
-But it looks like they've been rumbled by Josh.
-Want to head out?
All right, we'll come.
You can't just like lounge around their house,
we may as well just head home.
Having smuggled a bottle of alcoholic juice back home,
the British teens have no qualms about breaking Rob and Denise's strict prohibition rule.
I don't feel guilty, Connor might. What is there to feel guilty about?
It's juice. Put it in the post-box.
BURPS Oh, pardon me.
That is just gross.
It's Connor and Jade's third day living with the Smith Irwin family,
and their first working day in Seattle.
Rob is a strong believer in the Christian work ethic.
Morning, Connor. Are you up yet?
Today is a working day, you got a son to feed so that's something
you're going to be thinking about the rest of your life.
-It's time to get up.
-It's like four o'clock in the morning!
-I don't wake up this early.
Well, you'll come around, but we need to see progress in five minutes
otherwise it's going to be a little bit of a different wake up call, OK?
HE BANGS PAN LIDS TOGETHER
That's just really horrible!
We told you it was going to get worse, you've got to start
making some progress. It's a regular work day, and that's what we do.
When you're going to school or you're going to work,
you've got to get up in the morning, you've got to do it.
To teach the British teens the value of working hard to help others,
Denise has arranged work for them at a local charity, accompanied by Isaiah and Laura.
Taking charge of the teens is Jean, one of the shelter's volunteers.
I want to tell you about Mary's Place.
This is a day centre for homeless women, and women with children
who are in maybe perhaps transitional housing.
-A homeless shelter?
And she's quick to put the teens to work in the kitchen
making lunch for the residents.
You've got to wash your hands, put on some gloves.
How do you want your onions cut?
Jean's interested in the teens' plans for their future.
Laura, so what is it you're planning on doing?
Well, I'm looking at going into a career in finance.
-A person who's good at math.
So any of the rest of you have plans for your future?
I just smoke a lot of marijuana, all the time, like every day.
So how do you pay for this habit?
I used to work - I did like construction work
and labouring and all that.
Just whenever really you can get money off your parents, your family.
I don't like taking money off my family, but if I have to, I have to.
What about you, what do you do?
I don't really do a lot, except for drink and go out.
So that's what you want to do with your life?
Yeah. I live for the weekend, I live to drink and I live to party.
It's lunchtime, and the teens need to serve the residents.
Do you want any salad or anything?
But it's all a bit too much for workshy Jade.
'That was boring -
'I don't know, it might get more interesting.'
My legs hurt, and I just want to go home and sleep.
After lunch, the residents want to warn the teens
about how addiction has affected their lives.
I went to prison due to drugs,
and didn't see my children for three years,
I missed the birth of my grandson...
So December 1st, I just decided I was not going to get high any more..
-How old was you when you first tried it?
-Well, I was 19, and I'm 47 now.
There was a lady in our shelter, she went out,
bought herself some pot, smoking - next thing, she'd smoked
so much of it that she was basically comatose.
Her friends got panicked, they took off and left her in the park, passed out.
So people say, "Well, smoking pot isn't a bad thing" -
anything that you abuse to the point
where it takes you over like that, IS a bad thing.
I have five kids,
I've been on the streets since I was like 13.
Taking care of myself, selling drugs, prostituting, doing drugs.
I take responsibility for the actions that I've done, you understand?
But once you've done it, there ain't no taking it back!
-Is it Jade?
Yeah - Jade, what you'll find is it's fun for now and you'll have
friends who'll party with you, but let's say you turn around
and you don't have the money to buy the admittance thing to a club and
you don't have the money to buy the drinks and you don't have the money
to get the pot, those friends are going to fade away.
And you're going to be possibly doing stuff that you never considered yourself doing.
They were probably just like me
when they were younger, going out and having fun.
I really hope, seeing you and how much of a nice person you are,
I hope you don't end up there,
I really want you to have a great life.
Oh, no, you're really upset! You're like, really upset.
I'm just like, really emotional.
Oh, it is an emotional time. It's a really stressful day.
When that woman was on about the weed and all that,
I don't even want to touch that stuff any more, that is horrible,
and I used to smoke that all the time.
You're an idiot.
Connor may have turned his back on weed,
but the war on drugs is not over.
Denise has suspicions after the party, and summons Josh.
I saw the teens were going into the fridge with the alcohol in it.
I don't know if they took any or if they decided not to.
-They must've been pretty sneaky.
You didn't see them taking a sip of it, or opening it?
No, they must've stowed it away for later or something.
So they might've walked away from it, and...
Yeah, I'm guessing they took it here,
because that was at the very end of the party, and then we just left and came home.
Oh, it was at the end of the party. So it was after the fireworks?
-Er, yeah, it was right after you left.
That totally makes sense now because they had that time from
getting from the house to here, they could've been drinking along the way.
I was with them the whole way, they didn't drink at all.
-Yeah, I don't know what they did.
Maybe they drank another time that I didn't see or something, but...
What did they do with the bottle? Did they drink it?
They probably brought the bottles here and they're not open, that's my guess.
I need to talk with them.
Yeah. I can't say for sure whether they took the bottles...
I understand. And I'm not going to tell them you told me that.
Determined to dig out the facts, Denise calls Connor outside.
Is there anything that you need to tell me, that happened yesterday at the party?
-Nothing at all?
-Yeah, I'm positive.
Today I was informed that you and Jade had taken a drink.
I haven't touched any drink or nothing like that.
So obviously I'm still innocent until I've actually been proved that I've taken it.
Can you send Jade out here, please?
Jade...they want you.
Josh, do you want to play table tennis?
So is there anything that happened at the party...
..a choice that you made or anything that you did that you weren't supposed to do?
-Or were tempted, and gave into the temptation?
Can you look at me when we talk? I'd like to see your eyes.
-We didn't take nothing.
-You didn't drink any alcohol?
-We looked in their fridge.
-Tell me about that.
There's like, different drinks in there.
Then one of them dropped, and then... Not dropped, like broke,
and I tried to close it and it hit it,
so it made like, loads of noise, then I put it back in...then, yeah.
I've been accused of taking alcohol from their neighbour's fridge.
-So... I don't understand why.
I saw you guys looking in there, but I never saw them
take any alcohol, and that's what I told her when she asked.
I feel like they don't trust me at all,
and it's actually really annoying
that they've accused us of something that we haven't done.
With no concrete proof, Rob and Denise decide
their best tactic is to give Connor and Jade the benefit of the doubt.
My initial feeling is that I believe you,
and I'd like to continue believing and trusting you.
We don't know - maybe you guys took a drink, but that's your own conscience,
so you need to stay true to yourselves in this.
-Absolutely, we care a lot.
We just want to make sure we're doing the best we can to help you make good choices.
Oh, I feel so guilty. I feel SO guilty...
They're all big about trust and that, and they said they believed us
and they trusted us, so...I feel like shit, to be honest about it.
Lying to Denise. So bad, so, so, so bad.
I've never really felt like that before,
I've never really had a guilty conscience, it doesn't come up a lot,
and I...I feel really awful.
Jade, I'll take the elevator,
I'll meet you right in the front of the car.
Before the teens head home, Denise is keen to have some more quality time with Jade.
And Rob wants to make sure that Connor returns to the UK with the right attitude.
What time do they normally start work in England?
Usually we start about eight o'clock. Eight, half eight.
Eight o'clock. So you want to get up have a little bit of breakfast.
If you keep on getting yourself involved in cannabis and
smoking, you're going to be wasting a lot of money that you work for -
so think about all the hours you put in just to support that nasty habit.
I'd do what you said, put some money aside from my wages
each like, month or whatever when I get money.
-That's something you can put into your son, right?
It's going to get really tough and you're going to want to quit,
but you know what, you can't quit, you've got to keep going, keep persevering.
Denise wants to get to the bottom of why Jade was upset on the morning of Independence Day.
-You were crying, something was really bothering you.
Nothing major, I'm fine now, so it don't really matter.
And erm, so you think it might have anything to do with your dad?
-No. I don't like talking about it, though.
I think maybe one of your challenges you might consider is an emotional challenge.
What I mean by that is challenging yourself to talk about things
that you don't want to talk about.
It doesn't sound like she talks about
her feelings about anything too much to anybody.
So that's the challenge, is trying to get her to talk and open up.
After some one-to-one time with the British teens, Denise and Rob
have arranged for them to work with some young people with disabilities.
-Hi guys, welcome. I'm Ed.
-Hi, I'm Jade.
-Hi, Jade. Welcome to Outdoors for All.
So, we've got a camp going on today for kids with disabilities,
and we've got a lot of volunteers who are similar aged.
The teens will be doing outdoors activities in pairs.
Jade is teaming up with Brian, and Connor with Michael.
Michael, this is Connor. You guys will be kayaking and hiking buddies today.
Connor's keen to get to know his buddy a bit better.
-What, like, disability do you have?
-I have really small lungs.
-You have small lungs?
-Oh, so you have a problem breathing?
Having been born with underdeveloped lungs,
Michael finds physical activity difficult,
but it's really important for him to keep fit.
Why don't you have a race?
The first one to get to there. Both of you, go on. Don't run across...
Come on. Keep running.
London party girl Jade's a little more out of her comfort zone.
Oh, yeah. I'm wearing flip-flops and we're going hiking...
-Yeah, that's pretty funny.
-So that's a bit dodgy.
My feet are going to hurt by the end of this.
-Do you want me to clip them up for you?
With his own eight-month-old son, Connor's been a reluctant dad,
but away from home it's proving easier.
So if I show you... Stay there. You do it like that, and like that.
-Do you understand?
So keep practising that.
And we're off.
I don't like hiking. I don't like walking a lot,
I'd rather get a bus up here.
Well done, buddy. Have fun?
-How do your arms feel?
-Good? Do you feel strong?
I enjoyed it a lot, it's good fun.
It's good to teach them a few life skills like that, so I enjoyed it a lot.
Lunchtime gives the teens a chance for a quick catch-up.
I got on well with him,
I hope he enjoyed himself. Quite funny, actually. Yeah, it was good.
But how does that make you feel about your son and that, like, working with a little kid, and...
It made me feel like I actually made the effort to be a proper dad and all that,
so I can't wait to do that with my son.
So I actually feel like a dad,
and I never felt like that before. So it's like a new feeling for me.
Kind of sad, but kind of happy feeling.
Mixed emotions, really.
Not too deep...!
Basically, I will be it,
and you have to go and hide.
One, two, three, Michael!
We can do it, Brian... Come on, let's try and turn around.
Come on, Brian.
You're doing it.
I'll just relax...
I'm your British guest.
Spending time with these kids, I really miss my son a lot.
It's really hard to think about it and all that
so hopefully when we get home I'll spend a lot more quality time with my son
and take him down the park and play with him.
So, now I'm going to catch myself some kids.
Back at the house,
Rob and Denise are keen to know how the teens got on.
Been looking forward to seeing you guys all day, hi.
-How did you guys like it today?
-It was fun.
Yeah, it was funny.
We got like paired up with like kids, we went for a little hike,
walked up the hike together and then went to the kayaks together.
My guy had, um, I was asking him about it,
he said that he has very, very small lungs,
so he couldn't breathe properly and he can't exercise very well.
It's frightening when you think about it all the gifts that
you're given and, you know, that you're fully abled.
Some people aren't quite as fortunate in that regard.
Just cos they have disabilities it doesn't mean they can't do anything we can.
I think you've been displaying more characteristics of a man,
you're conscientious of people around you
and you're taking on more responsibility
and if you keep on that path,
I can see things improving for you and your son.
You know, you want to be able to get together with him,
you want to have that father-son bond,
and you want to be that person that he looks up to later in his life.
That's what I felt like today that when I was with the kiddie I was with today -
he was quite young, he was only about six or seven,
so we kind of had like a father bond, me and him at one point.
That's what I found, it was like a new feeling for me,
that's what I want to be like with my son all the time.
Yeah, yeah, so that new feeling, it really feels good to have that?
-Yes, it does feel good, really good.
So I'm going to get this other stick, you guys, don't stand around.
Give us some more slack here.
I need to speak to Louis, see Louis more and I need to be there for him.
I'm obviously a young dad and I'm still learning,
but I will try a lot more to see him when I get back.
It's the teens' final evening
living as members of the Smith Irwin family.
But Denise and Rob still have concerns about Jade.
Hey, Jade, would you like to come in and talk for a bit?
You haven't talked that much about your dad.
I don't actually know what I feel, like, I haven't actually got a feeling about my dad dying.
It's still not that real because no-one really told me
what was going on, so I was just like, oh,
because I was just about to do my exams,
so no-one really wanted to say, "Yeah, your dad's dying".
When was the last time you saw your father?
I ended up going out on the Saturday. I went to my friend's house,
then my mum tried to ring me like 50 times.
I just chucked my phone in my bag, that's what I always do,
and she tried to ring my friend, but I was like "Just ignore it", so...
Did you feel like you had time to say goodbye?
No, I felt really guilty.
I think that's probably why it's worse because I feel really guilty.
He wouldn't want you to carry any guilt like this, really.
Do you think you ever grieved your father's passing?
No, I don't think I did it properly, I think it was a bit...
I think my grieving was drinking,
that's how I got rid of my pain and stuff,
that's why I just carried it on.
It takes a lot of courage to face difficult emotions sometimes
and so what you're saying is you think that you turned to drinking
instead of face that challenge.
Yeah, I was drinking a little bit before,
but after that I just literally went out to drink.
I'd usually go to school, but even sometimes during the school week
I'd drink and I'd have exams the next day
and I'd drink in the morning.
But it's just carried on now, I've just got used to it so I just drink.
I think that's a huge self discovery, that you just made,
you just said that out loud,
because it's the first time I've heard you speak about that
and it sounds like you've been doing some thinking about that.
I don't know, she talks about my dad dying now.
I never actually thought it was real until today,
so that's why I'm kind of like oh, maybe...
Maybe I should talk about it, I don't know.
Like sometimes you wake up and you're like,
"Oh, let's talk to my dad", but you can't, so you're like, oh.
I think I blamed my mum, I blamed my aunts,
my uncles and everyone that really knew for not telling me.
But being able to talk about it made me feel a bit better.
I can't wait to go back and see her and see how things change and that.
And, I don't know, maybe I'll stop going out
because sometimes I go out just to defy my mum.
The teens' time living with Rob, Denise and their family
has come to an end, but Jade still has something on her mind.
When we went that party, I kind of lied.
I did have a little drink, but that's because that day
I was really upset and I'm used to just being like,
"I'm going to get some drink",
so I just caved in at that point.
You've like put trust in me and that
and I kind of broke that trust and it brought my conscience back,
like, oh, someone's actually cared enough to like be,
"Oh, right, I believe you".
And I'm like really sorry for like lying.
Thanks for letting me know, I forgive you, Jade,
thanks for telling me, I really appreciate that.
And that's another thing, that's courage to do what you just did.
It wasn't all Jade at all, I did take some part in it,
At the end of the day it's not just Jade it was kind of both of us.
How did you feel about when we sat you down and we looked
in your eye and we told you that we trusted you and all?
I felt so bad, I even said that so many times, I felt awful.
That says a lot about your character,
I'm really glad you guys said something.
I've learnt too much this week.
I've learnt how to talk to people better,
I've learnt how to get up out of a room and not to be lazy,
I've learnt to go out and have better highs than smoke weed.
I want to be a dad, definitely. I'm responsible for bringing him into the world
and there's nothing worse than being brought up without a dad.
At first it was like pulling teeth to get her to talk,
"I don't wanna talk about it, I don't wanna talk about it".
She wouldn't talk about anything and then after a bit of prompting,
as we got more familiar with each other and comfortable,
she opened up slowly, so I see some growth in that area.
I've learnt maybe I should help others a bit more
instead of just thinking about myself.
And not to go out as much and drink and get drunk and...yeah.
I'm going to try and like talk to my mum
and build bridges with her and that.
I just want to say goodbye, thanks a lot for coming out this week.
Thanks for having me.
Give me a hug, I'm going to miss you.
Have a good trip, see you.
We've just loved having them here this week.
And I think we got a positive outcome.
Sad to see them go.
Hopefully this time away maybe has made both of us think and, er...
think about one another.
So as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder and I feel I've missed her.
How are you? Are you tanned?
I'm sorry about my behaviour,
but there was one day at the thing,
they made me like talk about my dad and I got really upset.
Jade, since all these things happen. I didn't see you cry.
You were suffering in silence.
I've seen the impact of grief on people.
I've been there, I know, I know what I'm talking about.
I'm glad that at least you are aware,
you'll be able to deal with this.
We talked and that and it was like...
it was good.
'I would say it's the beginning'
because that goes to show
that she has insight into what she's been doing.
Hopefully it all keeps on going good, innit?
This is his chance of a lifetime
for him to go and do this - if he comes back and goes straight back to his old ways,
it would devastate me, I'd be really upset.
There's my humble home.
'It's important that he's changed for him, he's got a young baby,'
he needs to actually grow up a little bit and stop being a kid.
-You all right?
-I ain't too bad.
-I missed you.
-How was your week?
I missed you as well, mate.
-Have I got a new Connor?
How did it go?
Oh, it was brilliant, I loved it, every moment of it.
The stuff I did was incredible. I ain't touching weed again,
no way, the stuff I've seen, no way!
I've never cried when you've come home before, mate.
I loved it, every moment of it, it was brilliant,
I've got so much to tell.
Every day just changed my life completely.
I took your tenner which I'm not proud of and I'm sorry.
Obviously I wasn't in the right mind and if I get money, if I get a job,
I will give you it back, so I'm sorry about that.
I shouldn't have lied.
Oh, come here.
I don't feel weird at all I'm just glad everything's changing
and everything's more happy and different.
I've never been like this with my family before it's just great
to all come back together.
Yeah, I just feel so happy I've had this experience,
it has changed my life around,
and I owe it to Denise and Rob, to be honest.
I have been seeing Louis a bit more
and it's a lot better, he's actually starting
to realize I'm his dad.
It's just really nice to see him smile with me and know who I am.
One, two, three.
When I was on drugs and drink and all that,
I didn't really care to be honest, the only thing I cared about
was getting high, but now I would drop anything
to be with him, he actually means so much to me.
It's an incredible feeling,
it's one of the best feelings in the world.
I'm not cleaning the bloody chairs.
-'Next time on The World's Strictest Parents...'
..stroppy Essex girl, Georgie Weare...
Have you washed your hands?
..and party animal, Callum Watson....
Suck it dry! Suck it dry.
..get new parents in North Carolina.
You're not out with it every single day.
You cannot treat adults like that.
-Put your smoke out.
-You lied to me.
-I'm getting very frustrated right now.
I don't care if you're frustrated or not, OK?!
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
Email [email protected]
Two desperate mums send their wayward teens to the USA to be straightened out by old fashioned, super strict, Christian parents. 18-year-old Jade Bare's dad passed away two years ago. Now she barely speaks to her mum and spends all her time in clubs, pubs and parties. Joining Jade is teen dad and dope fiend Connor Jones, who would rather roll a spliff than change a nappy.
For a week they must live under the strict supervision of the Smith Irwin family, evangelical Christians living in the suburbs of Seattle. The teens are sent to a homeless refuge to meet former drug addicts and realise that drug taking and drinking could lead to a life of sadness and degradation. When Connor meets a disabled boy on an activity day, he realises that his dope smoking is no substitute for the natural high of being a father.