Episode 1 Young, Dumb and Living Off Mum

This programme contains strong language.

Your children are cute. Then before you know it, they're all grown up

and ready to fly the nest. That's how it's supposed to work.

-Stop acting like a spoilt brat!

-Well, I am a spoilt brat!

In these recession-riddled times it's harder than ever

for young people to get a job so what chance do these reprobates have

of standing on their own two feet?

SCREAMING

-Mum!

-This lot are selfish...

You give me money so I don't have to work. That is MY reality.

-Sponging...

-Give me your change.

-Lazy...

-You ain't ironed that yet, have you?

-Jack, I've just ironed it.

And completely useless.

I don't know how to use the washing machine, the microwave, the dryer...

But I can lick my elbow.

Their parents are sick of waiting for them to grow up and move out

but they've only got themselves to blame.

Grace has been one of my biggest mistakes in life.

I'm ashamed of myself really.

I've kind of reached a point where I can't do it any more.

So they're finally kicking them out and forcing them to run their own home.

# Party rock! #

Not one bit of food in the house.

We've got to buy sheets, pillows, everything.

I know this isn't prison but they're doing better off in there than we are here.

# Party rock is in the house. #

They'll be made to get jobs like the rest of us.

SCREAMING

Do you want to do some work?

Let me know when it's convenient for you, you know?

SHE RETCHES

-I've never seen such a negative group, such a negative attitude.

-I don't get it.

No, cos I'm meant to be head chef.

HE SCREAMS

It kinda makes you despair for humanity sometimes,

seeing people like this.

It's all under the watchful gaze of their own parents,

who will judge their progress.

I just thought they acted like spoilt brats, every one of them.

And each week the most useless gets the boot.

At stake, the prize of a round-the-world trip.

Woo!

Will a month of independent living make them finally grow up?

I can't live with animals.

This is who we are!

-I'll smack you in the face.

-I hate her.

I didn't realise how hard it would be for me.

Or will they remain Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum?

-I've

-BLEEP

-had it through, now

-BLEEP.

# You know we're superstars

# We are, we are

# Ow! #

For the next four weeks, these young, spoilt and unemployed

layabouts will be leaving behind the comforts of their homes.

I can't cook, I can't clean and I can't use a washing machine.

And challenged to live independently in London's East End.

It's not the best area.

I like Chelsea and Knightsbridge. The posh areas!

And it will be here that our motley crew will live.

The only problem is they won't have Mummy and Daddy to clean up after them.

So let's meet them.

Is that like a pizza thing?

I definitely won't be using that.

# Cos you were born this way, baby. #

Introducing 18-year-old delightful diva, Ruby Jo.

If I don't get my own way all hell will break loose.

But it's Ruby Jo's mum that has to cater for all her needs.

I do feel a lot of the time like I'm a slave for Ruby Jo.

Mum! Mum! Mum!

Can I have a new brew please, Mum? That one was minging.

I know for a fact she wants to get me out the house.

It's got to that point now where I've really had enough of it.

Next to arrive, it's Jack and Jade.

-You all right? It's nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

When 19-year-old Jack isn't in a nightclub getting girls, he's at home

getting his mum to do everything for him.

-Mum, get in that kitchen and make me a cup of tea, please?

-Jack, I'm tired.

Thank you.

Even though his mum is disabled, he still makes her wait on him hand and foot.

-Mum?

-He's never helped me once and he knows what it's like

with my disability.

'She's got arthritis.' Can I have a cup of tea?

-Seriously, I want one.

-Goodness sake!

I don't feel that bad. I'm not asking her to bungee jump,

she's just walking from room to room. She's fine, she loves it.

Next it's 18-year-old Jade,

-who's turning childlike tantrums into an art form.

-Are you taking the piss?

I have a tantrum if I don't get my own way.

Do you think I'd wear that?

I have a tantrum if I've just had enough. SHE SCREAMS

I have one whenever.

Do you seriously think I would wear them?

She doesn't want the responsibility of being an adult.

You'll have to get me the ones I want.

There's something in my body that just goes...and that's it. Argh!

It just becomes too much and I want to cry sometimes.

Right, we've got to find another room, where is it?

-We need this one now.

-No, n-n-n-n-no.

For Enzo at 20 years old,

he's surely the world's biggest Mummy's boy.

There you go.

My relationship with my mum is great. She does look after me,

she does make my life really good.

I like it.

He doesn't do anything for himself.

I don't know how he'd manage if he had to look after himself.

I don't know how I'd cope because I haven't had to.

It's driving his dad bonkers.

-You can't even make toast.

-No, I...

-OK, OK.

-Go and make toast.

He has taken full advantage of it.

He needs to get away from this house because cos he's never really

been away from his mother.

For Ryan, 18, life is one big, work-free fantasy.

I'd love to live the celebrity lifestyle.

The limos, the parties, the headlines,

you know, "Ryan's sleeping with so and so." Just the dream.

And while Ryan parties it's his mum that pays the bills.

Ryan does absolutely nothing around the house.

I love been treated like a princess, everything done for me.

I feel like Cinderella.

He goes out with his friends a lot, he drinks,

he parties...That's about it. He has beaten me down.

I'd just like him to realise what it's like to live

out in the real world.

# Today I don't feel like doing anything. #

19-year-old Tom never pulls his weight around the house.

In fact the only weight he does pull dangles between his legs.

A typical day in the life of me, I just lay about all day.

Watch television, watching DVDs and masturbating.

In fact, this is one young man who gives a new meaning to the word "lazy".

If I could be one animal I'd be a cat

because all you have to do is lay around and sleep.

He's got the best life in the world.

If someone pushed his chest in and out, he'd be absolutely chuffed.

He wouldn't have to make the effort to breathe.

The last two people to arrive are Gracie and Sophie.

20-year-old daddy's girl Gracie gets what she wants at any cost.

I love shopping because I don't have to pay for it

and I can have whatever I want.

'People who say things like money can't buy you happiness...' Thank you!

..clearly don't know where to shop. I like this one.

And she expects her taxi driver dad

to pay for a lifestyle he can't afford.

It's lovely.

Unfortunately or fortunately she has some lovely friends but their parents are multi-millionaires

and she sees an Audi TT and she wants one.

This will probably put my dad in debt for the next ten years, but...

SHE GIGGLES

If Gracie's used to having rich friends...

she should get on spiffingly with final member of the house,

18-year-old Sophie.

My great grandmother's Veronica Spencer Churchill,

so related to Winston Churchill. Blue-blooded, that's what Grandma says.

And high society spendaholic Sophie

has never had to worry about money before.

Whatever I want my dad will pretty much get me.

£595, I think.

I've spent a fortune.

I got a bag that matches.

£13,000 in the past two months. It's almost impossible to say no.

If I dropped dead tomorrow she won't have the skills

to live in this world.

So, those are the young dumbers and they are home alone...

I wonder if there's anything in the fridge?

..with the cupboards bare.

No, look at that, empty. We've got a letter.

-We've got a letter.

-Do you want to listen to this?

-Oh, wow.

"Welcome to your new home, we hope you like it.

"As you may have noticed, there are two envelopes.

"One contains eight individual envelopes which are £29.52.

"This is to last you four days."

-GASPING

-What is that?

-How much?

-£29.52.

It's the equivalent to someone living on Jobseeker's Allowance.

"This covers food, drink and living essentials."

-Really?

-I doubt it.

"The other envelope contains £450 in cash.

"You should spend this on everything you need to make this house your home."

No way, that's so good.

"Have a look around, see what you think you need to live.

"Good luck and happy shopping. Love, parents."

Oh, my God, we get to go shopping.

Oh, no. We've actually got nothing.

Do we have to buy duvets and sheets then?

Oh, my God, we do, don't we?

I haven't even seen a kettle. There's literally nothing here.

For the new housemates this just got serious.

-We need to go shopping today because we need duvets.

-I can't sleep without a pillow.

Think about that money, there's eight of us.

We need to buy 16 pillows. I have to sleep with two pillows.

I'm worried about not being able to afford the bed covers,

like the duvets and stuff.

All my bed stuff is, like, goose down,

which is £1,000 for a double duvet, so yeah.

-Shall we go then?

-Yeah, let's go.

For the first time ever their mums and dads

won't be doing everything for them.

Instead they'll be watching from afar,

assessing the progress of their kids working and living on their own.

That was a bit out there, I thought.

And they'll decide who to give the boot to,

based on who has made the least effort.

That is really hard.

I don't think they really tried to follow it through to the end. They just had a laugh.

Leaving one of them at the end of the four weeks

deemed fit for adulthood.

Winning themselves a round the world trip

and total independence from their parents.

With all that at stake, it's essential the young dumbers

start off by spending their household allowance wisely.

So, where will they start?

-It's six for £2, isn't it?

-We've just found duvets for £1!

That's pillows, and then down there is duvet covers.

And Ryan thinks creatively about how to make savings.

I suggested to eat out of these because they're cheaper.

I know it's a dog's bowl, which is stupid. But it will be a lot cheaper.

We needed a kettle. £15, this one's nice.

With limited funds, it's important the group prioritise.

Is duct tape is a necessity?

-No, it's a bit strange.

-For somebody who doesn't shut up?

Let's get some party stuff to decorate the house for a party.

And it's not long before they're all distracted by the party products.

Twister! For our party tonight.

We need balloons!

And take liberties with the try before you buy policy.

You look nice with pink hair!

Having finished covering each other with silly string,

they head for the tills to pay.

But they realise they've overspent on party products.

Who's looking silly now? Oh, the irony!

-The stuff we've got through so far is very essential, like party stuff.

-OK, right.

And, instead of returning any of the party props, Sophie gets Jade to put the kettle back.

Do we need a kettle? Have you got one? No?

-No, you haven't got enough.

-We can boil water in a pan so we're getting rid of the kettle.

That'll make things a lot cheaper.

But boiling water in a pan is not something Gracie likes the sound of.

I'm getting severely annoyed. It's just ridiculous. The point of this trip was to get stuff we need,

not that we want. We're going to get home, get everything out and then tomorrow we'll need something

and realise we don't have it and don't have money left.

This is all the stuff we thought we'd be able to afford but actually can't.

Outside the supermarket, Gracie makes her feelings known to the rest of the group.

Why do we need plastic cutlery and we've got Twister

and hula hoops? Know what I mean? This is just ridiculous.

-I don't want live in a kebab house.

-It's good that we've got Twister.

A kebab house with Twister and hula hoops? Sounds like heaven!

Come on, sis, we've got to make it fun.

Back home, the kids settle in and unpack their new things, and their suitcases.

Where am I going to put my staff?

With only one wardrobe in the girls' room, they're going to have to share.

I'm an organisation freak and I cannot keep my stuff in my suitcase, if you guys don't mind.

I've got OCD, so I'd literally, like, panic, like, freak out

if my stuff was in my suitcase.

Sophie's used up all the space, so Gracie has nowhere for clothes other than the floor.

My clothes are all unorganised and it's doing my head in already.

-I don't have anywhere else to put them, so...

-There's two drawers, so me and Ruby put our stuff in them.

I feel like I'm going to cry.

But it's not just sharing a communal space that the parents want their kids to experience,

it's all aspects of adult life, including feeding themselves properly.

So, after making sure they have everything they need for a party,

it's time to think about a food shop,

which involves popping down to the local kebab house.

-Can you put it in the corner?

-Which? The right or the left?

-That one, please.

This is depressing.

Although posh girl Sophie isn't impressed by the menu.

It's, like, my worst nightmare, it's, like, come true.

This thought about, in mind right now, that I would love to have is anchovies, olives and hummus

and taramasalata with pitta bread, like, warmed up, toasted, cut into soldiers.

And her high-society attitude is starting to grate on some of the others.

I've had a bit of a problem with Sophie,

how she's Little Miss Perfect and no one else is good enough

to be around her and all that kind of stuff.

It's just a bunch of crap, isn't it, really?

So they're already rubbing each other up the wrong way.

Let's eat!

Bad news, considering they'll all be working together tomorrow.

£26, please.

Each week, the parents will take it in turns to send their kids

into the real world of work.

I'm losing my bloody temper.

It's a chance to learn how to be responsible,

behave professionally and grasp the meaning of hard work.

-There you are.

-Oh-ho-ho!

This week, Gracie's dad will be choosing the placement.

Unlike Gracie, dad Graham works long hours to provide for the family.

I work six days a week.

Grace needs to learn that money doesn't grow on trees and she's got to learn that, you know,

there's a sort of self-satisfaction in going to work and getting a wage

and achieving something.

Graham knows that, in times of recession, the way to survive as an adult

is to get out there and graft.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello.

-Hello, guys. It's Graham here, Grace's dad.

-Hello, Dad!

-Hello, Gracie's dad.

Oh!

-Dad!

-Get lost.

-Dad, what is wrong with you?

No! No!

SHE GASPS

This is going to be fun.

-Thanks, Dad. Bye.

-Oh no!

-That means we'll have to get up at seven.

-I'm scared.

-We've got to tour people around somewhere.

-That'll be fun.

-What a div!

Back home, these slackers take a relaxed approach to anything that resembles work.

I think I'm too high maintenance to work. I can't be expected to run around after other people.

They should be running around after me.

My grandmas never worked, my uncles never worked, none of them ever work, so why should I?

Life's to short, you know, and I know that's a deep thing to say...

I'd rather spend my time going shopping, nails done, beauty stuff,

going clubbing with my mates.

Don't hold down jobs, don't like working, don't need to work, so...

I'd love to be a celebrity. That's probably the only job I'm willing to be.

It was first founded in Roman times.

With that work ethic, it's amazing they've even bothered

to open the information packs they've been given.

Does anyone else hate history? It's history, been and gone.

It's a good job they have, though, since part of working in the youth hostel tomorrow

involves guiding the guests around London.

It's nerve-racking because we have to remember all this staff.

-Why not improvise?

-Elaborate, just lie.

-Yeah, lie. Just improvise it.

-They won't even know Tourists won't have a clue what we're on about.

-They won't know.

I could just waffle all day and they'd believe me. They won't even understand me.

I'm not going to spend all night reading them because

the more you try to remember, the more you're likely to forget.

After about 10 minutes of attempting to prepare for tomorrow's work placement,

Gracie decides a different approach might be better suited to them.

The plan this evening is to get stupidly drunk and have a good night,

-I think, get to know each other a bit better.

-Here's to our first day of independence.

-Cheers, everybody!

-Woo!

-Oh, my God!

SCREAMING AND LAUGHTER

Want to come and play "I'd Never" with me?

Sophie is used to people being at her beck and call and demands that everyone plays

-a drinking game with her.

You guys, we're going to play "I'd Never". He's up for it.

-Your bitch is up for it.

-Bitches?

-Your bitch.

-No! How dare you?

-She's my bitch.

-Coming out for a cigarette?

Come over here, darling.

WHISPERING

But being referred to as one of Sophie's bitches isn't something Gracie appreciates.

Maybe we have to make an effort but I'm not letting anybody talk to me like a piece of shit.

-No, never. No, exactly.

-I've got no reason to. I don't let my mum and dad do it.

-Exactly.

-It's cos she thinks she's better than everyone else.

-Yeah, but she's not.

-Just because I'm not up my own arse.

-Yeah, exactly.

-And talking like I'm Daddy's Little Princess, whatever.

-Not that Sophie noticed.

-I'm getting on with Jade and, like, Ruby and the other girl.

I can't remember her name.

-What's the other girl's name? I can't remember.

-Her name's Crazy Gracie.

-Gracie. Crazy Gracie.

It's midnight and, even though the group need to get up

in six hours for work, they'd rather carry on chatting and drinking than going to bed.

-When did you find out that you were gay?

-I came out when I was 12.

-Really?

-Wow!

-Were your parents cool about it?

My dad was fine with it straight away, my mum, at the time

she was a bit upset in case I got bullied or stuff like that.

-You wouldn't have kids, would you?

-I'm... I.

-I'm totally against it.

-Yeah.

-I literally am totally against two guys having a kid.

-I think that's completely wrong.

-No.

-No, I don't.

I'm not going to argue with you but I disagree with that.

You think it's OK for two guys to have a kid?

That kid will get bullied like shit, it will grow up without a mother.

Every single kid needs a mother. I am totally against it.

It's really surprising me that you say that, cos I just think it's, like, 2011.

Everybody needs a mum and everybody needs a dad.

Straight up, if you want kids and you're going to be responsible, why the fuck not?

-Go for it, deffo.

-You guys are the first people I've met that agree with it.

-Where are you from?

-That's really upset me and I feel like crying, but I won't cos there's a camera.

-Aww!

-No, no.

-No, I feel like an absolute arsehole now.

-No, you don't, you don't.

-I don't think you should feel like that. My best mate's gay.

I just don't think, like... So what if he turned around and said,

-"Me and my boyfriend are on about adopting?"

-I would say to him that I don't think it's a good idea.

-You all right, Ryan?

-Yeah.

-You sure?

-Yeah.

-No, you're not.

-Do you need another drink?

-Yeah.

-Sorry.

-Give me a hug.

Come on, let's have cheese and onion crisps.

It's safe to say that, if I ever decide to adopt, I won't tell you.

Shouldn't be allowed to adopt. Fucking stupid bitch.

It's like, I mean, come on, yeah. If that's her view, yeah, say it to whoever,

but you don't say it in front of a gay or a lesbian, do you?

Even though she's offended Ryan and some of the others as well,

Sophie doesn't see what all the fuss is about.

They were all on about, "It's 2010, blah blah blah."

I don't give a shit if it's 2010.

It could be 2000 and fucking 13, I'm still going to think the same thing.

-It's 2011, Sophie.

-Is it? Really? You're joking. 2011?

I didn't even know that.

Oh, my God! And I'm so behind. I never know what day it is either.

While Sophie gets around the mind-boggling fact that it's 2011,

the others gossip about her comments.

That was just so small-minded.

-It's not the fucking 1900s any more, or whatever it was.

-No.

Seriously.

Thinking Sophie is still outside, Gracie chips in.

She should be ashamed of herself. She's a horrible person.

She's a bully, thinks she's better than everyone else.

TOILET FLUSHES

Cow. That's what I think.

Little Miss Perfect.

I think she's a fucking idiot. I can't stand her.

-You all right?

-I'm pissed off.

-Why?

-I was brushing my teeth and I could here them gossiping about me

and I'm not impressed. That's so fucking childish. If they've something to say, say it to my face.

It's one thing I can't stand, is people who gossip behind my back.

Like, if you have something to say, say it to my fucking face.

-Says she behind Gracie's back!

-Bitch.

As Sophie goes to sleep, Gracie decides it's time to rally the troops

and plot revenge on Sophie for upsetting Ryan earlier.

-Let's do it.

-Come on, let's do that. I like that plan.

And I think Ryan should get first dibs on it as well.

PINK PANTHER THEME PLAYS

WHISPERING

Just fuck off. I'm trying to sleep.

THEY LAUGH

Stupid children.

That was so funny. Me and you, little troopers, like.

Well, that's cheered Ryan up, but it's not exactly the mature way of resolving their differences.

I think Gracie has made people gang up against me.

I reckon it was her idea with the silly string. Definitely.

I've always had issues like this and I don't get it.

Maybe it's the way I'm brought up. Maybe if I was to go downstairs and go "innit"

and start talking like a chav or a commoner, maybe they'd like me.

After just one day of living without their parents,

hopes of them ever maturing are dwindling.

And, in less than three hours' time, they're going to have to report for work.

It's six in the morning and the young dumbers should be up and raring to go.

Oh.

Oh.

But, after a night of alcohol-fuelled arguments and only three hours' sleep,

they're feeling rotten.

I want a cup of tea and we haven't even got a kettle to boil the water.

And Gracie's gasping for a cuppa. Only problem is, Sophie decided

they didn't need a kettle during yesterday's shop.

Whoever decided to swap the kettle for the hula hoops

and the party games, they can be blamed for us not having a kettle.

You can boil water in a fucking pan, it doesn't make any bloody difference.

It's just stupid. It's just laziness.

Whatever, yeah, I'm lazy, I don't care. What do you think I'm here for?

I'm lazy. I ain't trying to pretend that I ain't.

-I ain't trying to pretend that I ain't lazy.

-Been there.

-Stupid.

I'm pissed off.

I want a cup of tea and now I've got to boil a pan.

I don't want to.

Stupid cow.

While Gracie sulks on the stairs, Enzo does some last-minute cramming for the work placement.

-The only thing Tom and Jack are working on is their hair.

-Can I put those straighteners on?

-Yeah.

Argh!

Meanwhile, Gracie's morning is going from bad to worse.

I've got two massive blisters on my feet.

I can't walk around all day.

# Hi ho, hi ho

-ALL:

-# It's off to work we go!... #

Prepared as they'll ever be, the group head off to work,

but will have to put their differences and blisters

to one side if they're going to make a good impression on their new employer.

St Christopher's Village is one of the biggest

and busiest youth hostels in London. Our young dumbers will have to take charge

of the daily running of its services

They'll be supervised by hostel managers Caitlin and Rob,

who are round the same age as some of our lot but do have proper jobs.

The people I'm looking to hire are willing to work hard

and they want to take their job seriously.

Their working day will be split into two parts.

In the morning they'll work to a tight deadline, cleaning toilets

and getting the guest rooms ready.

I am not doing that.

They'll have to prepare lunch

and welcome every guest all in time for a 2pm check-in.

When do we get the cards for the rooms?

How many cards will you need?

-Don't you know that by now?

-No.

Then, later in the afternoon,

they'll have to take guests out and around London...

So, if you'd like to follow me.

..on a history tour of the area

based on the information they prepared the night before.

What year was it built?

I think it was like, olden days.

Caitlin's team pride themselves on running a professional outfit,

so any delays or problems will jeopardise the hostel's reputation.

You're going to run the hostel today.

We expect from you what we expect from all our staff -

be professional in the way that you speak to people.

Be polite, be friendly.

We have got 210 guests upstairs,

so they pay money to have a good time, and that's what we're going to be giving them, OK?

Guys, follow me and we'll get started, OK?

Oh, my God!

For one day only, this renowned hostel

is going to be under new management, young dumb style.

They'll be working in pairs.

Come round this side of the desk, we'll sort you out, OK?

Lazy bones Jack and Tom are working the front desk.

They'll be expected to man the phones and welcome guests.

You're the first people our guests see, OK?

You need to be friendly, you need to be happy,

so they know they've come somewhere where they're welcomed.

On kitchen duty,

preparing 30 sandwiches for a school group's lunchtime trip,

it's mummy's boy Enzo and Ryan.

Every sandwich has butter,

mayonnaise, lettuce, cheese and meat, OK?

Waiting to find out what they'll be doing,

the girls are split into two camps.

I get on with her the most out of everybody.

Sophie and Jade in one, and Ruby Jo and Gracie in the other.

It's either me and Ruby cleaning the toilets,

or it's Sophie and Jade cleaning them.

If I had my way, I'd have her clean toilets with her tongue.

But it's not to be.

Baby Jade and posh girl Sophie are put in charge of the dorm rooms.

Your job is stripping all these beds, cleaning them all,

and remake the beds, exactly as I show you, OK?

They'll have just 45 minutes to change 22 beds

in time for any new guests.

I've never stayed in a place like this. This is weird.

It looks as though Daddy's girl Gracie

and diva Ruby Jo have drawn the short draw

and will be dealing with some nasties left by travellers.

Oh! No-o-o-o!

No, no, no, no!

Come on, this isn't fair.

We're the people who least deserve to do this. Why?

Seriously, do I look like someone who cleans toilets?

Not really.

At home in Stockport, Ruby Jo won't even flush her own toilet,

let alone someone else's.

Can you remember to flush the toilet, please? I'm sick of asking you.

Literally, I don't flush anything down the toilet.

Wees, number twos or periods. It's just a habit.

With 15 toilets to clean, Ruby Jo is in her element.

I can smell the shit already.

All right, so...

GIRLS COMPLAIN AND MOAN

If one toilet's going to take this long, we're not going to get anything done!

Some people do this full-time.

If they can't even work for 45 minutes,

then we'll have to see what kind of hope they've got

for the rest of the years, I suppose.

Oh, she can't. It's making her sick.

Down at reception, Tom and Jack

get the chance to impress manager Rob while manning the phones.

PHONE RINGS

Hello, this is St Christopher's...er...Hostel.

How can I help you?

Do we have any rooms available tonight?

We do.

We do have rooms available tonight.

All they have to do is take bookings,

but the only thing they're capable of taking is the piss.

It could be for five people.

They want the same room. They all want to share.

Sorry, sorry, he's a trainee.

You want to take our names?

We've been what?

Um... Enzo and...er...Charlie.

Clever, cunning, and all on camera.

Hello?

What can you do? What can you do?!

She just hangs up anyway, so that's kind of rude.

Yeah.

It's thirsty work for the boys on reception. Rob is disappointed.

They're not being honest with customers.

They're being rude to some customers and that's not good enough.

Clean dorms are essential for any hostel to win repeat business.

But employees will often have to clean quietly

around guests sleeping off long-haul flights.

But, spoilt Sophie...

Oh, that is manky!

..and big kid Jade...

I don't want to find something gross!

..don't seem to care.

-Is that it?

-I'm just checking this mattress is stable.

I wouldn't do this at home. It's my mum's job, to be honest.

I'm going to have a serious scrub when I get home. It's revolting.

This is just the weirdest thing in the world.

I would never...

touch my sister's duvet, let alone some stranger's.

I feel so dirty right now. I need to shower with, like, bleach.

Speaking of which, Gracie and Ruby-Jo are still cleaning toilets.

Oh, my God!

But are doing a better job of blocking them.

Oh!!

It doesn't feel good at all, sticking your hand down a toilet.

Look, I've still got toilet paper on my gloves.

Urghhh!

Despite the fact they've only cleaned five out of 15 toilets,

it's already too much for Ruby-Jo.

SHE RETCHES

I need some fresh air.

Everyone has a right, if they don't feel well, they can have a break.

Passing manager Rob on the way.

Where are you going?

Fresh air. What the hell..?!

How long have you been working for?

Long enough.

What is there to learn about cleaning shit off a toilet?

But he's having none of it.

Get on with it. I'll be back later.

When you start a new job, they don't expect you to be amazing on the first day.

They expect us to be pros at cleaning toilets.

So far, most of them have failed to impress on the very basic of tasks.

So, it's up to Ryan and mummy's boy Enzo

to lead the way preparing lunch.

I've never chopped a tomato before, and I think I'm making quite a...

I think they want them cut in slices, man!

I'm trying to, but it won't!

There's cheese, a gloop of mayo,

and a simple meat filling. Simple being the operative word.

Ham comes from...cows?

Or is that beef?

No, it's ham as well, isn't it?

No, I think ham comes... That ham comes from pigs.

Urgh!

And then salami is a fish.

No, it's not!

It smells like a fish!

Ah yes, of course. The great white salami fish.

You can imagine finding a salami in the ocean.

-Like a salmon or a sardine.

-Yeah.

At reception, 20 German tourists have arrived after a long journey

and are desperate to get to their rooms.

It's up to Tom and Jack to show off the best of British hospitality.

Who are the teachers?

Lads, perhaps talk to the customers, welcome them.

OK. Guten tag.

LAUGHTER

-Which guys are the teachers?

-We are.

-Just the two teachers?

-Yes.

-OK.

So, 16 students, two teachers, and two drivers.

-So there's 20 people altogether?

-Yes.

-OK, cool.

When do we get the cards for the rooms?

-How many cards will you need?

-Don't you know that by now?

-No.

All that's required is for Tom and Jack

to hand out 20 room passes to their 20 tired guests.

It's 20, is it?

-No, there are 15 here.

-They need 20. Yes.

So they need five more, yes?

While they slide a card through a machine,

manager Rob reflects on what he's seen so far.

It makes you despair for humanity sometimes,

seeing people like this.

But they're not the only ones under-achieving.

Toilet seat. I pointed that out before I left.

That could easily have come off with just a quick wipe.

To be honest, we will have to get some cleaners up here to go over the ones you've cleaned

because they're not really in a state we want our guests to see.

So, after failing to impress manager Caitlin, what have they learned?

For someone who dislikes doing toilets that much,

and we've put that much effort into it,

they could show some appreciation, do you know what I mean?

Rather than just being stuck-up and total divs.

I haven't got the energy. I can't do it any more.

That's a sandwich now, I think.

Ryan and Enzo put the finishing touches to the 30 sandwiches they were asked to make.

I'll have a taste.

It's just a tomato!

If you think the fact you couldn't make 30 sandwiches is a laughing matter...

No, no! I apologise for not doing an adequate job. ..Stop laughing!

Keep laughing boys and clean-up, OK? Thank you.

They have made a complete salami fish -

I mean pig's ear - of running the hostel.

I have never seen such a group with such a negative attitude,

or such a bad outlook on working before.

I couldn't believe it.

They're definitely not people I'd have here, that's for sure.

Surely the parents aren't going to be impressed with that.

But, there's one more chance to impress

as they head into the final stage of the work placement,

giving a guided tour of London to some foreign visitors.

Keeping an eye on proceedings

will be some young but super-experienced guides.

Last night, the group were given all the information they'd need

to carry out their tours today. In theory, this should be a doddle.

People will expect you to know what you're talking about.

Hopefully you've read your packs, so you've got everything you need.

If they do well,

they can make some much-needed money in the form of tips.

Everything you make is yours to keep.

Oh, my God, we'll be eating tonight!

Two groups set out first.

Tour guides Fraser and Ben are shadowing Sophie and Jade.

-Hello, everyone!

-Everyone all right?

ALL: Yes!

In the other group, Matt and Dave keep an eye on Ryan and Enzo.

-Welcome to the tour. My name is Enzo.

-I'm Ryan.

We're going to show you landmarks of London. So, follow me...

They're leading parties of tourists around London,

some of whom are visiting for the first time.

If we get tips, we're going to buy alcohol, more alcohol, and more alcohol.

And more alcohol!

Sophie and Jade's first stop is Borough Market,

and they seem to be making an impression already.

Oh, thank you so much!

Can they remember enough facts to carry out an informative tour?

This is Bureau Market...

Better known as Borough Market.

It is one of the oldest...um...

markets in London.

Like, here as well is where, um...

Sorry. Um...

Famous chefs on TV and stuff, they buy their food here as well.

Is anyone, like, quite surprised or...

Surprised, shocked, dumbfounded? Wishing they'd got different tour guides? All of those things.

We're going to head on to our next place. Yes, right. OK.

That went really badly.

We should have just basically said,

"we don't know anything about this market. You might as well go home."

Enzo and Ryan's first stop is Tower Bridge.

I'm so scared now.

A tour guide's number-one rule is to confidently deliver facts

in a clear and concise way,

and Ryan is starting to feel the pressure.

I'm most nervous about both the talking and the facts.

I've forgotten most of the facts already.

This in front of you is the Tower Bridge.

It was built in the reign of Queen Victoria.

That's quite a big thing, I think.

When it was first built, like, she didn't like the design.

I don't know... Argh!

He's out of facts and lost the crowd. He needs something juicy to pull this back.

I know this is random, but you can take two sheep across...

You can't take one sheep and you can't take three sheep,

but if you wanted to take sheep over, you can take two.

Got them with a cheeky sheep anecdote!

Just gather round...

Also taking an unorthodox approach to the job is Jade,

who's about to lead her group over the Millennium Bridge.

If you're going to throw up, go to the side to throw up.

We don't want to slip on your sick. It's not cool.

Yes, welcome to London, where it's not cool to slip on your sick.

But, despite knowing nothing about anything,

the girls can't put a foot wrong with one member of their group.

Very nice. Beautiful smile, and smart.

I like.

After Ryan's shoddy display of history,

it's up to Enzo to lead the tour, the only one who did swot up.

This is the Monument.

It was erected in 1677,

and it's a memorial for all the people who lost their lives

and their homes

in the Great Fire of London.

It looks like his homework has paid off.

Very good.

Spot on.

The two groups have come to the end of their tours.

Time to see if they've made any money to bump up their allowance.

We do accept tips...

LAUGHTER

So that's a no then.

I've got a tip. Never do this job again.

They thought we were joking.

Perhaps Enzo and Ryan will do better.

-I hope you enjoyed the tour.

-Thank you so much.

-Thank you.

You're welcome.

But they make a schoolboy error.

One big thing that you both forgot is no mention of the tips.

-And it's cost them.

-What are you going to do now?

I guess it's just cheap noodle food for us again.

The last tours of the day will be given by Jack and Tom,

and by Ruby-Jo and Gracie.

Like the others, they're supervised by experienced tour guides.

But disaster strikes.

Gracie's poor little blister is causing her problems.

I can't do it.

I can't do it. What am I supposed to do about my foot?

-Strap it up and carry on.

-But it hurts.

So? Things like this happen in life.

You just have to carry on with it.

Gracie's dropped out and left it up to Ruby-Jo to give the tour,

meaning she's not only failed to see the day through,

but she's also missed out on making some money in tips.

I get blisters on a night out and I'll carry on dancing all night.

But, you know, some people just can't hack the pain.

At least Tom and Jack are able to give their history tour of the area.

-This is Borough Market.

-I say history tour...

I actually mean "lying to tourists" tour.

When is the best day to come down?

Sunday? Because that's like, fisherman's day?

-Sunday, that's market day.

-Everyone knows.

Everyone knows it's market day, don't they?

The market is actually closed on Sundays.

Only open Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

Right, now let's stop here quickly.

What else will they come up with at the replica of the Globe Theatre?

William Shakespeare, he used to do plays and stuff here.

Which year was it built?

What year was it built? I think it was like, olden days.

Like the medieval times.

Yes, I think it was medieval times.

They seemed to pull it off quite well. They're quite confident

in what they're saying, but it's utter nonsense.

Don't laugh at us, guys, we're giving you great information!

But tour guide Ben isn't seeing the funny side of rewriting history.

So don't lie! You can't lie because you're changing history.

You're changing the way people see things and this is going to be

remembered by people for years and years after that.

The cardinal rule is don't make stuff up.

Abandoned by Gracie, Ruby-Jo soldiers on.

Behind us is the Tower of London...

Which was originally built by William the Conqueror, who was better known as...

He's just this random guy who decided to come over and conquer England.

Do you know how long it took for the Tower to be built?

It took ages to be built, yeah.

Using the same blagging techniques as the boys, she should have some insightful information

about City Hall, the last stop on her tour.

It looks a bit like an egg, it's a weird shape.

I like the purple bit at the top.

What's at the top?

I think it's a gym at the top.

LAUGHTER

She definitely has her own, unique style. I think if this was an audition tour,

which is what we do day in, day out, what we do for a living,

I think by this point we would have stopped it already and she would be going home.

So that's it. Ruby-Jo, Gracie, Tom and Jack are all done for the day...

but were their tours a success?

Probably about 70% was made up.

Everything is built during medieval times.

I learn more if I take a free guide of London in the Tube.

But, crucially, have they made any money?

-You can tip us if you want.

-Or just buy us a drink later.

That's a no then. Still, if you don't ask you don't get.

I can categorically say I would not offer them employment as tour guides of London.

-Ah, thanks!

-Ruby-Jo has amazingly managed to get some tips.

Maybe they felt sorry for her.

-Thanks!

-Now you can have dinner.

-I know, now I can eat! Thank you.

I did it on my own and I've come back with £5.92, I'm so proud of myself.

She stepped up to the plate, she did come and do the tour and for that she should be proud of herself.

But beyond that, the effort was minimal.

So, today has been pretty disastrous on every level for our bunch of fools.

They've failed to complete basic tasks running the hostel,

and barely managed to hold some simple facts in their brains while taking the guided tours.

So, what exactly did they learn?

I've learnt a salami is not a fish, it's part of a pig, and that's about it really.

And even though she's been sitting on her backside for most of the day,

Gracie has learnt some important life lessons as well.

I've learnt today that I just need to take it a bit more easy.

Whilst Ryan and Gracie feel that they've made new discoveries,

these probably aren't the life lessons their parents hoped

they'd take away from their first day at work.

It's a new day and tomorrow will be the first elimination,

where the parents will decide which one of our useless lot will be going home.

The other night, when she was saying that about gays having kids...

We were all kind of shocked.

Most of the group think it should be Sophie who goes home,

because of what she said earlier in the week to Ryan.

Being the only gay in the house, you're on your own. We're all behind you.

And talking about what happened has upset Ryan again.

I'm not used to people being like that. Like, I came out when I was 12.

Obviously I used to get comments back then, and stuff like that.

But people have grown out of it, like, it's 2011...

She makes me so angry, I just don't want to be in there any more.

Back inside the house, the group have come up with a solution.

-We should have a house meeting.

-I'm going to call one right now.

Get everyone down here.

Ah, a glimmer of hope. This might be the first sensible idea they've had all week.

-Sophie, we're all going to have a house meeting downstairs.

-All right.

A gay person in a house with someone who makes homophobic comments,

whether they're meant in a homophobic way or not, they're homophobic.

All I said was every child deserves a mother and a father, that's all.

No! Every child deserves two parents who love it!

Doesn't matter whether it's two women, two men, a man and woman...

It may be offensive, but everyone's entitled to their opinion,

so I don't understand why it's dragged out.

The meeting isn't going the way everyone hoped and Gracie struggles to contain herself.

So if I came up to you and said I think you're stuck up and rude

and horrible and a really big bitch, cos that is what I think,

and I can't take living with you because you're rude. I feel so sorry for Ryan because

-you're mentally abusing him...

-Oh, my God, how can you say that? Oh, just fuck off.

See what I mean? "Just fuck off." Well, none of us like you, Sophie.

Yeah.

Your dad sounds like a narrow-minded person to me.

You've no right to fucking offend him, you don't fucking know who he is.

That pisses me off, don't say anything about my dad!

Don't you fucking dare! You can call me narrow-minded, don't call my fucking dad it.

You're both it! If that's what you believe...

I'm going to fucking hit someone, I really need to get some space. Oooh, fucking hell!

Meeting adjourned, then?

It may have upset him, I just think he needs to fucking grow up

and act like an adult and fucking get over it.

-Ryan, man... Don't worry, you're a lovely guy.

-Cheers.

-Cool.

She is just a knob, to be honest. It's like, "Get a grip, love!"

You're insulting millions of people. The second we say something that insults you, you kick off?

I haven't kicked off at all. You know? She needs to deal with it.

Unaware there are tensions in the house, the parents are meeting up

to see how their kids have got on with their first taste of adult life.

Whoever has made the least effort is heading home,

and to help make their decision, they'll be watching footage of the week's event.

It's not going to be an easy watch.

I felt a bit disappointed with the girls.

I didn't think that was very grown-up and responsible, to be honest.

That's very embarrassing.

It was the actions of a 14, 15 year old, rather than an 18-20 year old.

At work, Jack and Tom prove

they can't be trusted with responsibility.

Er, you want to take our names? Enzo, and er... Charlie.

I mean, does your son actually work?

-Never.

-You can't mess around on the phone to a client,

because you're not going to get a second chance.

And there was little change in Ruby-Jo's aversion to domestic chores.

What more is there to learn about cleaning shit out of the toilet?

She doesn't flush the toilet at home, Ruby.

It was the nature of the job that made her go over the top and be a bit silly.

Somebody has to do it, though. I do that job.

I dread to think, when they have got to move out.

I don't know how they're going to manage.

On the tour, Enzo got his facts straight.

It was erected in 1677, for all the people who lost their lives and their homes

in the Great Fire of London.

Enzo had a remarkable memory for some of that stuff.

I was amazed, the way he actually coped.

But Ryan got his facts in a twist.

I'm most nervous about both the talking and the facts. I don't know. Agh!

I'm very surprised at that, because Ryan's got good people skills

so I thought that would have been a good thing for him.

And then there was Gracie's blister...

I can't do it.

Some people just can't hack the pain.

I think Gracie let Ruby down. Being grown up...you have to do things,

even if it is uncomfortable, you're just going to have to get on with it.

I'd agree with Ruby. Get on with it!

But it's the way the group have failed to get on with one another

that's of most concern to the parents.

I'm totally against like, two guys having a kid. I think that's completely wrong.

That really affects me, I feel like crying, but I'm not going to because there's a camera on me.

To have a discussion is one thing, but to go into one like that...

-I think is too much.

-But Ryan can handle himself in that situation.

You know, he's been dealing with that since the age of 13.

She's not anti gay people, it's not homophobic in any way at all.

But it's just this thing about adopting children,

and people do have conversations in the real world about that.

It's a very complex discussion, and you can't talk about it

in three minutes amongst teenagers.

We've all got different opinions.

But I think what we do, we don't air them at certain times.

I think you're stuck up, and rude, and horrible, and a really big bitch,

and I feel so sorry for Ryan, because you're mentally abusing him.

Oh, my God, how can you say that? Just fuck off.

See what I mean? Just fuck off? Well, none of us like you, Sophie!

To be honest, I wasn't particularly pleased with Grace at the table.

I thought it was a bit unfair of her to put your daughter in that position that she did.

It's obviously causing disharmony now with them all, isn't it?

After watching the footage, the parents choose three kids they think have made the least effort.

But only one of them will be sent home.

I think that's a really difficult thing to do.

Gracie... I think she could have tried. With anything in life, you've got to try.

Even if you don't succeed.

Tom and Jack, they just started having a laugh and making things up on the phone.

That probably wasn't very professional.

I mean, if that was an actual client, the client could be on the phone thinking,

"He's taking the piss out of me."

Ryan on the tour...was poor.

Sophie, just because I think she might have a hard time if she stays in any longer.

Once a decision is reached, the parents of the kids

in the bottom three head over to the house with the result.

The Young Dumbers have no idea which parents

will be walking through the door to announce the verdict.

The parents have decided that Sophie, Ryan and Gracie are in the bottom three.

There's three of us here, it's not rocket science,

so those of you who aren't our children can leave.

But only one of them will be leaving the house for good.

Grace, you could have completed the task.

It's important that you complete a task, when you're given it.

That's what's going to happen in your life.

-I just couldn't do it.

-I don't know, put some Vaseline on it, or go barefooted!

-I weren't going to do it barefoot.

-Just try.

The tour... I was a bit disappointed.

I don't think you tried your hardest with that, and the argument in the house...

You're a good lad for standing by what you think.

I think it's got blown out of proportion, but you stand by what you believe.

Sophie, the discussions you were having, which seemed to upset everyone.

I'm sure you would have learnt about raising sensitive issues in a closed environment.

-It is really nerve-wracking, isn't it?

-Yeah.

I've got a bad feeling. I didn't expect Ryan to be in the bottom three.

It's time to put the three Young Dumbers out of their misery.

The verdict we've decided, for the harmony of the house, is for you to leave, Sophie.

Yes, I was leaving anyway after this.

Which means Ryan and Gracie are safe for now.

CHEERING AND LAUGHTER

Back downstairs, Sophie's dad is talking to her about making some changes.

It's time to look for a job.

No, it's the summer holidays! I'm not working over the summer.

But some things never change.

I'm planning a round-the-world trip myself.

I just need to go, "Daddy, please!" and I'll get it.

It looks like Sophie is right back where she started -

Young Dumb And Living Off Mum.

Next time...

This bunch of no-hopers become fish traders on their second task.

No, I've got a phobia!

This is harder than cleaning the shit out of the toilet!

Mummy's boy Enzo gets homesick.

I didn't realize how hard it was going to be for me...

..just to leave my family.

And a row breaks out over a cleaning rota.

Did you see what down there was like? Fucking disgusting.

-Behind those sofas was disgusting.

-I don't care!

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