Nativity!

Line	From	To
# Here comes Santa Claus Here comes Santa Claus... #	0:00:40	0:00:43
'That's me, Paul Maddens, back in drama school.	0:00:43	0:00:46
'Yes, I look like an idiot.	0:00:46	0:00:48
'And there's my girlfriend, Jennifer.	0:00:48	0:00:52
'With our best mate, Gordon Shakespeare.	0:00:52	0:00:54
'We were the Three Amigos, with the world at our feet.'	0:00:54	0:00:59
# So jump in bed and cover your head	0:00:59	0:01:01
# Cos Santa Claus comes tonight. #	0:01:01	0:01:03
'Jennifer and her family always loved Christmas.	0:01:03	0:01:07
'And it was Jennifer who taught me to love it too.	0:01:07	0:01:10
'Gordon said he loved Christmas, but the only thing he truly loved	0:01:10	0:01:13
'was himself.'	0:01:13	0:01:15
I'm completely above this. It's pointless. Elf.	0:01:15	0:01:18
It's my last elf. I could be Father Christmas.	0:01:18	0:01:21
Why am I not Father Christmas?	0:01:21	0:01:23
I-I can't do this any more. It's ridiculous.	0:01:23	0:01:25
-You're good. -There's no control being an actor.	0:01:25	0:01:28
You're doing what other people's ideas are.	0:01:28	0:01:30
I'd rather be in control, I don't know, like directing, producing.	0:01:30	0:01:35
-I think you should consider that. -I will.	0:01:35	0:01:37
That's why I'm going to train as a primary school teacher.	0:01:37	0:01:39
LAUGHTER	0:01:39	0:01:41
-BOTH: Shush! -Give it three years.	0:01:41	0:01:43
-If you're as bad as you are now, give up. -At least try.	0:01:43	0:01:46
You know, those who can't act, teach.	0:01:46	0:01:48
BOTH: And those who can't teach, teach primary.	0:01:48	0:01:51
-Who says that? -Nobody. It's a truism. -It's... People say...	0:01:51	0:01:55
Five, six, seven, eight.	0:01:55	0:01:56
# Here comes Santa Claus Here comes Santa Claus... #	0:01:56	0:01:59
'And so that's what I did. I became a teacher.	0:01:59	0:02:02
'And Jennifer seemed really proud of me.	0:02:03	0:02:06
'As I was of her when she went to Hollywood and became a producer.	0:02:06	0:02:10
'As for Gordon,	0:02:10	0:02:12
'he became a teacher at the best private school in the city.	0:02:12	0:02:15
'His productions of the Nativity	0:02:15	0:02:17
'won the five-star review in the local paper.'	0:02:17	0:02:19
"Gordon Shakespeare's Three-Colour Trilogy	0:02:19	0:02:22
"has redefined Nativity, with its rainbow of talent	0:02:22	0:02:26
"that hangs over the city of Coventry	0:02:26	0:02:29
"like a blessed beacon.	0:02:29	0:02:31
"Five stars.	0:02:31	0:02:33
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! What a performance!	0:02:33	0:02:36
"Paul Maddens' Nativity was abysmal.	0:02:36	0:02:40
"Minus two stars."	0:02:40	0:02:43
'And that's when I decided.	0:02:43	0:02:44
'I hated Christmas.'	0:02:44	0:02:46
MUSIC: "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" by the Jackson 5	0:02:46	0:02:50
# Santa Claus is comin' to town	0:02:52	0:02:55
# Santa Claus is comin' to town You'd better watch out	0:02:55	0:02:59
# You'd better not cry... #	0:02:59	0:03:02
Sit down! Olly, that's you in detention for the week.	0:03:02	0:03:05
TJ, that's you in detention for the week.	0:03:05	0:03:09
And, also, TJ, that's your parents coming into school tomorrow.	0:03:09	0:03:13
Who's going to win the five-star review?	0:03:17	0:03:19
ALL CHANT: Us, us, us! Us, us, us! Us, us, us!	0:03:19	0:03:25
Us, us, us! Yeaaargh!	0:03:25	0:03:28
Who can spell "Bethlehem"? Go!	0:03:28	0:03:29
B-E-I-E...	0:03:29	0:03:31
No, next.	0:03:31	0:03:33
Olly.	0:03:33	0:03:34
B-E-L-T...	0:03:34	0:03:36
No! TJ.	0:03:36	0:03:38
-B-E-L-E... -No!	0:03:38	0:03:40
Good morning, boys and girls.	0:03:43	0:03:45
ALL: Good morning, Mrs Bevan.	0:03:45	0:03:49
Here we are on the run-up to Christmas.	0:03:49	0:03:51
-CHILDREN: Yes! -Isn't that exciting?	0:03:51	0:03:54
Now, last year, Mrs Spink did the Nativity play	0:03:54	0:03:57
and, if you remember,	0:03:57	0:03:59
she got upset and started shouting a lot and crying.	0:03:59	0:04:04
And some of you, I remember, were crying with her.	0:04:04	0:04:06
So, we are going to have to find a new person.	0:04:06	0:04:10
This year, to make the best Nativity play that has ever, ever been...	0:04:10	0:04:15
is Mr Maddens.	0:04:15	0:04:16
-APPLAUSE -Yes.	0:04:16	0:04:18
# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas	0:04:18	0:04:21
# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy year	0:04:21	0:04:25
# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas	0:04:25	0:04:29
# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy year	0:04:29	0:04:32
# We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas	0:04:35	0:04:37
# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year	0:04:37	0:04:40
CRESCENDO: # A happy new year	0:04:40	0:04:42
# A happy new year... #	0:04:42	0:04:46
THEY SING IN THE ROUND	0:04:46	0:04:49
You have the talent and training.	0:04:57	0:04:59
-I think it's a wonderful thing. -I barely have the training.	0:04:59	0:05:02
I did three years of drama... SHE SIGHS	0:05:02	0:05:04
-I wasn't very good. -Yes, I know.	0:05:04	0:05:06
-It... -Now, let's move on.	0:05:06	0:05:08
When are you going to start the casting?	0:05:08	0:05:10
These children are literally useless.	0:05:10	0:05:13
I am literally useless. Please don't make me do this.	0:05:13	0:05:16
Think about Oakmoor. Think about how they always steal all the reviews.	0:05:16	0:05:20
We agreed four years ago that after my disastrous attempt	0:05:20	0:05:24
to direct the Nativity, I wouldn't do it again.	0:05:24	0:05:27
Make this a good one.	0:05:27	0:05:28
Make this a fabulous last Nativity play for me	0:05:28	0:05:31
and then I retire and you won't have to put up with me any more.	0:05:31	0:05:34
Oh, and you've got a classroom assistant starting today sometime.	0:05:34	0:05:37
HE SIGHS Thank you.	0:05:37	0:05:41
That will help with the wear and tear and stress.	0:05:41	0:05:44
-Hello. -Hello.	0:05:57	0:05:58
'Tell us clearly and concisely'	0:06:00	0:06:03
what happened at Christmas, if you think you're so clever.	0:06:03	0:06:05
Joseph got together with Mary	0:06:05	0:06:07
and Mary went to Bethlehem to have a baby. Um...	0:06:07	0:06:10
She has a baby, Jesus. A couple of years later, about 30 years later,	0:06:10	0:06:14
-he dies on the cross and then... -Go and sit down.	0:06:14	0:06:17
LAUGHTER Go and sit down.	0:06:17	0:06:19
That was almost blasphemy.	0:06:19	0:06:21
'Here's to a five-star review'	0:06:21	0:06:23
of the St Bernadette's Nativity, directed by Paul Maddens. Cheers.	0:06:23	0:06:26
ALL: Cheers!	0:06:26	0:06:28
LAUGHTER	0:06:28	0:06:31
CHILDREN: # When Suzy was a child	0:06:31	0:06:34
# A child Suzy was She said	0:06:34	0:06:36
# "Miss, miss, I can't get this!	0:06:36	0:06:39
# "I've got my knickers in a right old twist!"	0:06:39	0:06:41
# When... #	0:06:41	0:06:43
Who are you?	0:06:43	0:06:44
-Mr Poppy. -Yes, what are you doing here, Mr Poppy? -Oh, I'm...	0:06:44	0:06:47
I'm your teaching assistant.	0:06:47	0:06:49
Remember, please keep it neat. Dan, are you having trouble there?	0:06:52	0:06:56
How are you getting on, Frazer?	0:06:56	0:06:58
You know you don't have to put your hand up to talk to me.	0:07:02	0:07:04
I thought we were supposed to be doing a play.	0:07:04	0:07:06
-We are. -Everyone's just sitting around.	0:07:06	0:07:08
This isn't the rehearsal for the play.	0:07:08	0:07:11
This is a creative writing class. It's a different thing.	0:07:11	0:07:13
Who wants to do a play?	0:07:13	0:07:15
-ALL: -Me! -Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me!	0:07:15	0:07:18
-Move the tables to one side. -No! Keep the tables where you are.	0:07:18	0:07:21
Alfie! Alfie, TJ, put the tables back.	0:07:21	0:07:25
The next person to move their table	0:07:25	0:07:28
will be in detention for the entire term.	0:07:28	0:07:30
BELL RINGS, THEY SHOUT Sit down! Sit down!	0:07:30	0:07:32
MR MADDENS DROWNED OUT BY SHOUTING	0:07:35	0:07:38
-Mr Poppy! Come in, please. Come in now. -I've been tigged.	0:07:44	0:07:48
-Mr Poppy... -I've been tigged.	0:07:48	0:07:50
Come in now.	0:07:50	0:07:51
Get inside, please.	0:07:51	0:07:53
I've told you before. Get in.	0:07:53	0:07:55
-CHILDREN CHANT: -Poppy! Poppy! -Go in!	0:07:55	0:07:57
Children, please. Go away.	0:07:57	0:07:58
Just carry on playing.	0:07:58	0:08:00
-SHRIEKING -Tig, tig, tig, tig!	0:08:00	0:08:02
Mr Poppy!	0:08:02	0:08:03
Mr Poppy!	0:08:04	0:08:06
MAKES ZAPPING AND WHOOSHING NOISES	0:08:08	0:08:12
I just wanted to check something.	0:08:13	0:08:15
Can I say, I really enjoyed today, thank you very much.	0:08:15	0:08:18
You're welcome. You haven't done this before, have you?	0:08:18	0:08:21
Er, I've done stuff like it.	0:08:21	0:08:23
Classroom assistant?	0:08:23	0:08:25
-Nope. -No. I just wanted to check that.	0:08:25	0:08:27
Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow at 8.15?	0:08:27	0:08:29
-D'you want to come for a sausage sizzler? -Sorry?	0:08:29	0:08:33
Young's, the newsagent, they do sausages with tomato ketchup	0:08:33	0:08:36
in a roll with a sausage. They're only £1.50.	0:08:36	0:08:39
D'you want to maybe share one and we could hang out at the park?	0:08:39	0:08:43
I'll introduce you to Tom, Stinky Tom. He's funny.	0:08:43	0:08:45
I'm a bit busy. I shan't be doing that tonight. Thank you.	0:08:45	0:08:48
-See you later. -HE GIGGLES	0:08:48	0:08:51
MAKES ZAPPING NOISES	0:08:51	0:08:52
# Can't you see it's gonna be	0:08:54	0:08:56
# A merry, merry Christmas	0:08:56	0:08:58
# A merry, merry Christmas for all the girls and boys?	0:08:58	0:09:04
# Can't you see the Christmas tree... #	0:09:04	0:09:06
Come here. Hello!	0:09:06	0:09:08
Ooh, right on me kippers. Oh, Cracker!	0:09:08	0:09:11
Cracker. "You hardly know me!"	0:09:11	0:09:14
Cracker, Cracker.	0:09:14	0:09:16
Where you going, you mental dog?	0:09:16	0:09:18
HE HUMS A TUNE	0:09:18	0:09:22
Cracker.	0:09:27	0:09:29
HIGH PITCH: # In Nazareth. # Or...	0:09:29	0:09:32
LOW PITCH: # In Nazareth. # I think low.	0:09:32	0:09:34
Bark for high.	0:09:34	0:09:36
BARKS	0:09:36	0:09:37
Bark for low. WHINES	0:09:37	0:09:40
Suit yourself.	0:09:40	0:09:42
Cracker...	0:09:42	0:09:44
Cracker.	0:09:44	0:09:46
Cracker, come here.	0:09:46	0:09:48
THUD, SHRIEKING	0:09:52	0:09:53
Help me, Mr Maddens!	0:09:53	0:09:55
This man is an idiot. He's an actual village idiot.	0:09:57	0:09:59
If this was a village, he would be the idiot.	0:09:59	0:10:03
He's not a classroom assistant, he's an absolute calamitous fool.	0:10:03	0:10:06
But he'll be a big help with the play.	0:10:06	0:10:08
The play that I don't care about?	0:10:08	0:10:11
The play that brings the children away from learning to read and write?	0:10:11	0:10:14
Great(!) Big whoopee(!) I've got an oaf helping my children to fail.	0:10:14	0:10:18
-Thanks(!) -This is getting personal.	0:10:18	0:10:19
-Who's that? -Who's what? -What's that?	0:10:19	0:10:22
-That's a photograph of me and Mr Poppy. -Why?	0:10:22	0:10:26
-He is my sister's son. -Mm-hm.	0:10:26	0:10:28
CHILDREN SHOUT	0:10:33	0:10:35
Mr Poppy!	0:10:39	0:10:41
Mr Poppy! Sit...	0:10:41	0:10:43
Sit down.	0:10:43	0:10:45
Sit down. Be quiet!	0:10:45	0:10:46
Sit down, now!	0:10:46	0:10:48
Why is Mr Maddens such a grumpy grumps?	0:10:52	0:10:55
His girlfriend left him at Christmas time.	0:10:55	0:10:58
-Where's his girlfriend now? -In America.	0:10:59	0:11:02
America! How cool is that?	0:11:02	0:11:04
It is cool, but it's a long way away from here.	0:11:04	0:11:08
Can we keep it down over there, please?	0:11:08	0:11:10
-Bagsy drive the van! -You can't drive, I've got the...	0:11:13	0:11:16
-Nothing overrules the rules of bagsy. -Mr Poppy.	0:11:16	0:11:19
-I'm insured to drive the van. -Auntie Pat said I could drive.	0:11:19	0:11:23
-Can you drive? -Yeah.	0:11:23	0:11:25
-Come on, jump in. -TOOTS HORN	0:11:25	0:11:28
-What about Gabriel comes in on a death slide. -What's a death slide?	0:11:28	0:11:32
One of those things... Zoom! You just go down on two hands.	0:11:32	0:11:35
I don't think health and safety for children	0:11:35	0:11:37
-will involve the death slide in a Nativity play. -OK.	0:11:37	0:11:39
-What about no donkey? -Please... -What about a BMX with trick pegs?	0:11:39	0:11:42
This is a Roman Catholic school.	0:11:42	0:11:44
We're not going to replace a donkey with a trick-peg BMX.	0:11:44	0:11:48
-I don't even know that that is! -We can do it.	0:11:48	0:11:51
-If we just work together. -Sorry? -Like Webber and Rice.	0:11:51	0:11:54
Posh and Becks. Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee. You and me.	0:11:54	0:11:57
-I think maybe this one. -No!	0:11:57	0:11:59
-The big one. -It's not going to fit. And how are we going to carry it?	0:11:59	0:12:03
I don't believe it!	0:12:03	0:12:05
-Paul Maddens. -Gordon Shakespeare.	0:12:05	0:12:07
How are you doing, my man?	0:12:07	0:12:10
-Great to see you. -And you. -Where've you been?	0:12:11	0:12:15
Just five years at St Bernadette's.	0:12:15	0:12:16
But you were going to be the star, the man.	0:12:16	0:12:20
-Was I? -Yeah! -I never thought that.	0:12:20	0:12:21
We all did and then it...all went.	0:12:21	0:12:24
Now you're down the road. How is it down there at St B's?	0:12:24	0:12:27
Goodness me, what a challenge.	0:12:27	0:12:28
Slowly, that dreadful school is dragging itself up.	0:12:28	0:12:33
How's Jennifer? Have you...?	0:12:33	0:12:35
-Do you speak to her? -Still quite good friends with her.	0:12:35	0:12:38
-So, you still keep in touch with her? -Yeah, yeah.	0:12:38	0:12:41
-Even though she's Hollywood side. -Goodness me. Didn't she do well?	0:12:41	0:12:44
-She's now a producer. -I know.	0:12:44	0:12:46
If you think I'm talented, well, she's just gone to another level.	0:12:46	0:12:50
-Way above me and-and... clearly, you. -Clearly.	0:12:50	0:12:55
In fact, if you want to see how the other half lives	0:12:55	0:12:57
and see where it really happens in the right way,	0:12:57	0:13:01
just come along to our Christmas bazaar. We're doing a showcase.	0:13:01	0:13:03
-The talent. -I'm sure. -Amazing.	0:13:03	0:13:06
-It's worth a look. Take it, come along. -Thank you.	0:13:06	0:13:08
-What are you doing? -I'm doing the Nativity again.	0:13:08	0:13:11
-Perhaps I can come and see yours. -Yes. You won't be alone.	0:13:11	0:13:13
Actually, Jennifer's coming.	0:13:13	0:13:16
-She's coming over to the UK? -Yeah, she going to come and see the, er...	0:13:16	0:13:20
Why would she want to do that?	0:13:20	0:13:22
Because she's going to bring most of her agency with her.	0:13:22	0:13:25
Hollywood are coming to St Bernadette's?	0:13:25	0:13:28
-Yes. -To see your show? -Yes.	0:13:28	0:13:31
-To film your show? -Yeah. -Make a film out of it?	0:13:31	0:13:34
Yeah.	0:13:34	0:13:36
And a book.	0:13:36	0:13:37
HE SINGS	0:13:37	0:13:40
Come on, come on. Come close.	0:13:51	0:13:53
This is... Come in, come in, gather round.	0:13:53	0:13:57
I've got something to tell you.	0:13:57	0:13:59
I'm not supposed to tell you	0:13:59	0:14:01
but someone twisted my arm and I have to tell you.	0:14:01	0:14:04
I've just been to get the Christmas tree and I heard Mr Maddens say	0:14:04	0:14:07
a big Hollywood production film thing company are coming here	0:14:07	0:14:13
to see our Nativity.	0:14:13	0:14:15
But it's not a Nativity.	0:14:15	0:14:17
It's Nativity, the musical, in 3-D, with 5-D sound	0:14:17	0:14:21
-and we're all going to be famous. -ALL SHOUT	0:14:21	0:14:23
Sh! Sh! Sh! This is big stuff, all right?	0:14:26	0:14:29
Zack, I mean, you could end up being Zac Efron.	0:14:29	0:14:33
-Yes! -And you.	0:14:33	0:14:34
-You could be Shrek. -LAUGHTER	0:14:34	0:14:37
-And you, Bob. -What?	0:14:37	0:14:39
You're like a little Gollum, or something,	0:14:39	0:14:41
like a little creature in something.	0:14:41	0:14:43
We're going to be super-famous because Hollywood are coming!	0:14:43	0:14:46
CHEERING	0:14:46	0:14:49
HE GASPS, CRACKER WHINES	0:14:49	0:14:51
Ow. Ow. Ow!	0:14:51	0:14:55
Ooh!	0:14:55	0:14:57
Aargh!	0:14:57	0:14:59
With me now are the real stars of the film,	0:14:59	0:15:02
the pupils of St Bernadette's School.	0:15:02	0:15:04
You must be excited.	0:15:04	0:15:06
-Very excited, aren't we, children? -ALL: Yes!	0:15:06	0:15:09
CRACKER WHINES Wait. Wait.	0:15:09	0:15:12
We only heard this morning that Hollywood are coming	0:15:12	0:15:15
to see our Nativity play. We can hardly believe it.	0:15:15	0:15:18
Sit down, please. Sit, Cracker.	0:15:18	0:15:21
I'm Mr Poppy and I am the co-director, co-writer, co-producer.	0:15:21	0:15:27
TV MUTED	0:15:27	0:15:29
'The true stars of a Hollywood blockbuster coming to town.'	0:15:33	0:15:38
CHILDREN CHEER	0:15:38	0:15:40
-Well done, Paul. -PAUL WHISTLES	0:15:49	0:15:53
We don't want to be late for PE.	0:15:53	0:15:55
Well done, congratulations, Mr Maddens.	0:15:55	0:15:58
We can... There you are. Goodness, at last.	0:16:02	0:16:06
This is Darren from the local newspaper. Mr Maddens.	0:16:06	0:16:09
-Nice to meet you. -Come on, this way. -Sorry? -Yeah. They've been waiting.	0:16:09	0:16:12
I've told Darren everything I know, but I don't know very much.	0:16:12	0:16:16
It's wonderful you're back in touch with her.	0:16:16	0:16:19
There you are. After you.	0:16:19	0:16:21
CHEERING AND CHANTING	0:16:21	0:16:23
Thank you. Good morning, boys and girls. Good morning, teachers.	0:16:29	0:16:34
Good morning. Good morning, gentlemen of the press.	0:16:34	0:16:38
And local news team.	0:16:38	0:16:41
As you can see, children, it's very exciting.	0:16:41	0:16:44
The whole of the town is buzzing with the news	0:16:44	0:16:47
that St Bernadette's is going to get a visitor from Hollywood.	0:16:47	0:16:53
Three cheers for Mr Maddens. Hip, hip.	0:16:53	0:16:55
ALL: Hurray!	0:16:55	0:16:57
-Hip, hip. -Hurray! -Hip, hip. -Hurray!	0:16:57	0:17:01
Mrs Bevan. Boys and girls...	0:17:01	0:17:04
I'm sorry, cos there's obviously been some misunderstanding	0:17:07	0:17:10
because yesterday I said, in front of Mr Poppy,	0:17:10	0:17:15
that we were going to have a visit from Hollywood.	0:17:15	0:17:18
And I'm only sorry, cos it's not happening right now!	0:17:25	0:17:28
CHEERING	0:17:28	0:17:31
I didn't tell you, I told Gordon Shakespeare.	0:17:40	0:17:42
It wasn't even for your ears. D'you understand me?!	0:17:42	0:17:46
-You were eavesdropping. -What does it matter...? -Be quiet!	0:17:46	0:17:48
It's obviously a lie.	0:17:48	0:17:50
-Yeah, but... -Hollywood coming to the school? How?	0:17:50	0:17:53
It's a lie! It's not true. I made it up.	0:17:53	0:17:56
You have messed up, right?	0:17:59	0:18:01
It's up to you to face your responsibility	0:18:01	0:18:03
and go out there and tell them it's a lie.	0:18:03	0:18:05
CHEERING	0:18:08	0:18:10
Yeah!	0:18:11	0:18:13
Call your girlfriend and get the Hollywood people across.	0:18:16	0:18:20
One problem. She's not my girlfriend.	0:18:20	0:18:23
I don't know her number. I don't know where she is.	0:18:23	0:18:26
-I was making all of that up... -Family! Has she got any family?	0:18:26	0:18:30
She's got parents, yes.	0:18:30	0:18:33
-Do you have any pets? -I have a dog.	0:18:33	0:18:35
-Used to be hers. -Brilliant!	0:18:35	0:18:37
Go round there and say,	0:18:37	0:18:38
"The dog's died, I need her number. I should tell her in person."	0:18:38	0:18:42
-The dog's died? -Yeah. -How's the dog died?	0:18:42	0:18:45
It blew up. The dog blew up.	0:18:45	0:18:48
They won't ask. You wouldn't ask. I wouldn't ask.	0:18:49	0:18:53
Ugh. They'd just think, "Oh," and get the number.	0:18:53	0:18:56
We need those five stars.	0:19:05	0:19:08
I need you all to be stars to get those stars.	0:19:08	0:19:10
We need something edgier, more dangerous, something darker.	0:19:10	0:19:14
Something the RSC do every year.	0:19:14	0:19:16
Tripping around and, bang, they hit you with something enormous.	0:19:16	0:19:19
That's what we should be doing. Something European, strange, exotic.	0:19:19	0:19:23
Something the Americans don't understand, but love!	0:19:23	0:19:25
That's it. I know, we could have Herod.	0:19:25	0:19:29
King... He's never done, is he?	0:19:29	0:19:30
Herod's never done.	0:19:30	0:19:32
Ever. That's it. Wonderful. We could have Herod.	0:19:32	0:19:35
He could be like an opera.	0:19:35	0:19:37
This dark shape brooding in the back, coming forward onto the stage.	0:19:37	0:19:41
Singing his heart out, his lungs.	0:19:41	0:19:43
Craving for their minds, and blood and body of children.	0:19:43	0:19:46
That's what we want. Who's going to be my Herod?	0:19:46	0:19:49
Thank you, lovely. Anything else you'd like to show us?	0:20:02	0:20:05
-SHE BURPS: -A, B, C... -That's good.	0:20:05	0:20:09
# You mean I've been dancing on the floor, darling	0:20:09	0:20:14
# And I feel like I need some more	0:20:14	0:20:17
# And I feel your body close to mine	0:20:17	0:20:20
# And I... # Oh.	0:20:20	0:20:23
# Cos I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby	0:20:23	0:20:29
# Listen to Iron Maiden, baby	0:20:29	0:20:32
# With me... #	0:20:32	0:20:34
# I was going on a hillside	0:20:34	0:20:37
# On a hillside	0:20:37	0:20:41
# I was going on a hillside	0:20:41	0:20:42
# On a hillside... #	0:20:42	0:20:45
# Oh, Danny boy	0:20:52	0:20:56
# The pipes The pipes are calling... #	0:20:56	0:21:02
What would you like to play?	0:21:07	0:21:08
I know you won't let me, but I really want to be Joseph.	0:21:08	0:21:11
OK, in your own time.	0:21:11	0:21:14
-Careful. -Wow.	0:21:16	0:21:18
HE GRUNTS	0:21:25	0:21:27
-You're through to the next round! -There's no next round.	0:21:27	0:21:31
-The Hollywood round! -There's no Hollywood round.	0:21:31	0:21:33
Please can I go to Hollywood? Please, please, please.	0:21:33	0:21:35
Hollywood, Bob, are going to love it.	0:21:35	0:21:38
Yeah! Ooh!	0:21:38	0:21:41
I can't do it. Can we take five for a moment, please? I've got to...	0:21:41	0:21:44
Excuse me. HE SIGHS	0:21:44	0:21:48
Keep going, it's good. It's really good.	0:21:50	0:21:53
Paul.	0:21:55	0:21:56
-Paul. -Hello, Father. -Paul!	0:21:56	0:21:58
-Just popped in to congratulate you. Well done. -Thank you!	0:21:58	0:22:01
-Oh, it's great news. -Thank you much.	0:22:01	0:22:04
-Well done. -Father, could I ask your advice?	0:22:04	0:22:07
I've just had a query from one of the children in the auditions.	0:22:07	0:22:13
I'm not sure how to advise them. They're worried about...lying.	0:22:13	0:22:16
I think one of them's told a lie.	0:22:16	0:22:18
We all know there's such a thing as a little white lie	0:22:18	0:22:21
and there's a black Protestant lie, which is more serious.	0:22:21	0:22:25
I don't think so. A lie is a lie is a lie.	0:22:25	0:22:29
Technically?	0:22:29	0:22:30
-What d'you mean, "technically"? -Well...	0:22:30	0:22:32
You know. "Is that a nice meal?" "Yes, Mrs Johnson, lovely."	0:22:32	0:22:35
Even though you're feeling sick, you don't want to hurt her feelings.	0:22:35	0:22:38
-It's still a lie, isn't it? -I'm not going to be punished for it.	0:22:38	0:22:42
Please, God, I'm not going to be punished.	0:22:42	0:22:44
But if you picked the woman up on her bad cooking,	0:22:44	0:22:47
the next time, you might get a decent meal.	0:22:47	0:22:49
Ee-aw, ee-aw! Ee-aw, ee-aw!	0:23:00	0:23:04
-Mrs Bevan. -Ah. -Thank you so much.	0:23:06	0:23:09
-Can I have a quick word? -My phone is ringing off the hook.	0:23:09	0:23:11
-Can I grab you for a minute? -Of course.	0:23:11	0:23:15
Word has got out about the Hollywood connection	0:23:15	0:23:17
-and parents are ringing. -I... -They want to know why, how, when.	0:23:17	0:23:20
-I can save time with that. -Wait. This is the cherry on the cake.	0:23:20	0:23:24
The Lord Mayor's office has rung and they want you	0:23:24	0:23:26
-to go to a big reception for Coventry ambassadors. -No!	0:23:26	0:23:30
-Yes, they do! -No!	0:23:30	0:23:32
There'll be drinks.	0:23:32	0:23:34
I don't think I can go.	0:23:34	0:23:35
-I've accepted on your behalf. -Have you? -Yes, you've got to come.	0:23:35	0:23:38
-PHONE RINGS -I've got to go. Phone! -Mrs Bevan.	0:23:38	0:23:40
-Mrs... -That'll be somebody else. See you soon, bye-bye.	0:23:40	0:23:43
DOORBELL RINGS	0:23:55	0:23:57
-PAUL MUTTERS -You.	0:23:59	0:24:02
I wonder if I might come in.	0:24:03	0:24:06
-I think you should come in. -Thank you. -Come on.	0:24:06	0:24:09
You'd better sit down, Paul.	0:24:18	0:24:20
I've heard of some things in my life, Paul,	0:24:20	0:24:23
but to take a dog, called Cracker, and then to put explosives in it	0:24:23	0:24:27
and blow it apart like a cracker,	0:24:27	0:24:29
I think common parlance is "the pits".	0:24:29	0:24:32
Wait till Jennifer hears.	0:24:32	0:24:35
She'll probably be sitting there in her heart-shaped pool,	0:24:35	0:24:38
sipping her Cristal champagne, which Harrison has bought her.	0:24:38	0:24:41
That's her new boyfriend, by the way.	0:24:41	0:24:44
New boyfriend, you understand that?	0:24:44	0:24:46
Not the old boyfriend who blows dogs to smithereens.	0:24:46	0:24:49
BICYCLE BELL DINGS Excuse me.	0:24:53	0:24:55
-What did she say? -I haven't spoken to her yet.	0:24:59	0:25:01
-When are you going to phone her? -I'll phone her	0:25:01	0:25:03
when I've got time and when I've discovered, realised,	0:25:03	0:25:06
worked out what I'm going to say.	0:25:06	0:25:08
Phone her. Why don't you want to phone her?	0:25:08	0:25:10
A, because I'm working. These are books that I'm marking.	0:25:10	0:25:13
I understand. You were going out with her for a long time.	0:25:13	0:25:17
You loved her, she loved you. It went wrong.	0:25:17	0:25:20
You feel butterfly feelings in your tummy when you go to call.	0:25:20	0:25:23
I understand that. You need to take a big daddy breath,	0:25:23	0:25:27
pick up the phone, dial the number and say hello.	0:25:27	0:25:30
I don't know what you think is going on.	0:25:30	0:25:32
It baffles me that you think I'm hung up over a woman	0:25:32	0:25:35
I've not seen for five years. I'm not.	0:25:35	0:25:37
I see a man who's scared and frightened and angry.	0:25:37	0:25:41
I'm frightened of you, because I've never met one of you before.	0:25:41	0:25:44
I'm terrified because I don't know what you or I am going to do.	0:25:44	0:25:48
I can help you mend your heart, Mr Maddens.	0:25:48	0:25:50
DOOR SLAMS	0:25:51	0:25:53
Open the door.	0:25:53	0:25:56
-Did you just slam that door? -No. -Close it properly, please.	0:25:56	0:26:00
LAUGHTER	0:26:06	0:26:08
# Maybe this Christmas will mean something more	0:26:08	0:26:13
# Maybe this year	0:26:13	0:26:16
# Love will appear	0:26:16	0:26:19
# Deeper than ever before	0:26:19	0:26:24
# And maybe forgiveness will ask us to call	0:26:24	0:26:29
# Someone we love	0:26:29	0:26:31
# Someone we've lost... #	0:26:31	0:26:34
CRACKER WHINES	0:26:34	0:26:35
# For reasons we can't quite recall	0:26:35	0:26:39
# Mm-mm-mmm Maybe this Christmas... #	0:26:39	0:26:43
Hello.	0:26:43	0:26:44
SIGHS WITH ANNOYANCE	0:26:44	0:26:47
# Maybe this Christmas... #	0:26:47	0:26:50
I was very impressed with the auditions.	0:26:56	0:26:59
Thank you very much.	0:26:59	0:27:00
I thought there was a wonderful array of talent on display.	0:27:00	0:27:03
So, you can all be proud of yourselves.	0:27:03	0:27:05
Because there is a wonderful array of talent on display,	0:27:05	0:27:08
I've no doubt you can handle this song, which is quite advanced. OK.	0:27:08	0:27:12
# Things are going well in Nazareth	0:27:12	0:27:16
# Our city is full of joy... #	0:27:16	0:27:19
Right, and that goes into... PIANO INTRO	0:27:19	0:27:22
Do you have to do that?	0:27:22	0:27:23
-So, fine. -That sounds good, doesn't it?	0:27:23	0:27:26
Yes. So, right, so we've got...	0:27:26	0:27:29
-# Things are going well... -Things are really cool	0:27:29	0:27:31
-# In Nazareth -In Nazareth	0:27:31	0:27:34
# Our city is full of joy... # Shush.	0:27:34	0:27:36
BOTH SING: # Cos this is where girl meets boy	0:27:36	0:27:38
-# In Nazareth -Our city is full of joy... #	0:27:38	0:27:42
-That's it. -Try it. -CHILDREN: -# Things are really cool	0:27:42	0:27:46
# In Nazareth	0:27:46	0:27:49
# Our city is full of joy	0:27:49	0:27:53
# Cos this is where girl meets boy... #	0:27:53	0:27:55
Who thinks my song is better?	0:27:55	0:27:58
Anyone?	0:27:58	0:28:00
This is far more linear. It's very dirge-like.	0:28:00	0:28:03
Mine is actually...influenced more by Sondheim. But...	0:28:03	0:28:08
OK. Who prefers Mr Poppy's song?	0:28:08	0:28:11
Black. Imagine darkness. A black-out.	0:28:12	0:28:15
The audience thinks, "What's going to happen?"	0:28:15	0:28:18
And some of the children, maybe six or seven, come on here	0:28:18	0:28:22
on that, "de-de-de-de-de-de", toe-heel.	0:28:22	0:28:26
Over here, some more children. De-de-de. So you get this big cross.	0:28:26	0:28:29
At the back, as the cross opens up, we see the city of Nazareth.	0:28:29	0:28:33
The children turn round. They've got cut-outs of the city.	0:28:33	0:28:36
It comes together. There's windows and lights shining through	0:28:36	0:28:39
and people going, "Hello", through the little windows.	0:28:39	0:28:43
Mr Poppy. These children will never be able to do that.	0:28:43	0:28:46
-Yes, they will. -We're useless.	0:28:46	0:28:48
-Everyone knows we're useless. -You're not useless.	0:28:48	0:28:51
-That's what Mr Maddens calls us. -No, I don't.	0:28:51	0:28:54
-GIRLS: -Yes, you do. -No, I don't.	0:28:54	0:28:56
-Shush. -You told Mrs Bevan that we are.	0:28:56	0:28:59
-Who told you that? -Sam, she heard you.	0:28:59	0:29:02
You did say we were useless.	0:29:02	0:29:05
I didn't mean useless. I didn't mean useless.	0:29:05	0:29:08
But they will never be able to do that.	0:29:08	0:29:11
Yeah, they will.	0:29:11	0:29:13
Anything we can do, Oakmoor can do ten times better.	0:29:13	0:29:17
Olly, Oakmoor, Shmoakmore.	0:29:17	0:29:19
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.	0:29:19	0:29:22
The final scene of the play is a really, really important scene.	0:29:22	0:29:26
Do you know what happens at the end of the Nativity?	0:29:26	0:29:29
-Baby Jesus is born. -Baby Jesus is born.	0:29:29	0:29:33
Right. Who fancies going on a little field trip	0:29:33	0:29:36
to actually see a real baby being born?	0:29:36	0:29:41
Here you are! I've been looking for you, my class. What are we all doing?	0:29:41	0:29:44
We're talking about going on a field trip to see a baby being born.	0:29:44	0:29:48
-What d'you mean? -It'd be good to do a few field trips.	0:29:48	0:29:50
-Go to a farm and see animals. -CHILDREN AGREE	0:29:50	0:29:53
It'd be cool for you to see the animals that come to the manger.	0:29:53	0:29:56
Thank you. Can we come in, please?	0:29:56	0:29:58
Enough silliness about babies being born. It's not going to happen.	0:29:58	0:30:02
How can they be convincing if they've not seen a baby being born?	0:30:02	0:30:05
It's called pretending. It's what every child	0:30:05	0:30:08
in every Nativity does every year.	0:30:08	0:30:09
You can't pretend something, unless you've experienced it.	0:30:09	0:30:12
I pretend to like you and I've yet to experience that.	0:30:12	0:30:15
Who wants to see a baby being born?	0:30:15	0:30:16
-ALL: -Me!	0:30:16	0:30:20
SCREAMING	0:30:34	0:30:36
BABY CRIES	0:30:38	0:30:41
Piglets!	0:30:54	0:30:56
Hello, everybody, I'd like to welcome you	0:31:04	0:31:07
to our annual Christmas bazaar at Oakmoor School.	0:31:07	0:31:10
As you know, Christmas is a time for giving,	0:31:10	0:31:12
a time for charity	0:31:12	0:31:14
and valuing those people less fortunate than ourselves.	0:31:14	0:31:18
So, in that spirit, I'd like to welcome the students	0:31:18	0:31:21
from St Bernadette's School.	0:31:21	0:31:23
# Ding dong merrily on high	0:31:26	0:31:30
-# In heaven the bells are ringing -Ding dong	0:31:30	0:31:34
-# Ding dong verily the sky -Ooh ooh	0:31:34	0:31:37
# Is riven with angels singing... #	0:31:37	0:31:41
MULTIPLE HARMONIES	0:31:41	0:31:42
# Gloria	0:31:42	0:31:50
# Hosanna in excelsis. #	0:31:50	0:31:54
APPLAUSE	0:31:54	0:31:56
That was good.	0:31:56	0:31:57
-They look beautiful. -I know. We're never going to beat them.	0:32:05	0:32:09
Ooh.	0:32:17	0:32:19
That one's good, isn't he?	0:32:21	0:32:23
HE SCOFFS	0:32:26	0:32:27
HE GIGGLES	0:32:31	0:32:34
APPLAUSE	0:32:35	0:32:37
How are we, are we all right? Are we ready to give it a go?	0:32:44	0:32:48
We know it a little bit.	0:32:48	0:32:50
Listen, this doesn't matter. It's not a test.	0:32:50	0:32:52
You don't have to get this right.	0:32:52	0:32:54
This is something we do cos we enjoy it. We enjoy singing.	0:32:54	0:32:57
Just to give us an idea of a Mary and Joseph.	0:32:57	0:33:00
OK? Mr Poppy, if you would, please.	0:33:00	0:33:02
Two, three.	0:33:02	0:33:04
# He's not my type	0:33:04	0:33:08
# She's not too bad	0:33:08	0:33:13
# Not the most gorgeous I've ever had	0:33:13	0:33:20
# And yet there's something	0:33:20	0:33:23
# Behind those eyes	0:33:23	0:33:27
# A fire that flickers... #	0:33:27	0:33:32
ALL SHOUT	0:33:32	0:33:33
CYMBALS CRASH	0:33:35	0:33:37
What's going on?	0:33:39	0:33:40
Olly and Alfie, did I see you fighting?	0:33:42	0:33:44
Why were you fighting?	0:33:46	0:33:49
He said I'd be rubbish at Joseph	0:33:49	0:33:51
and I'll never make it in the school play	0:33:51	0:33:53
and if I do, I would let the school down.	0:33:53	0:33:56
Alfie, who made you director?	0:33:56	0:33:58
No-one. But...but he hit me.	0:33:58	0:34:01
Alfie, it's not down to you who's going to be rubbish or good	0:34:01	0:34:06
or who'll let the school down.	0:34:06	0:34:07
You've just let the school down, and so have you, Olly.	0:34:07	0:34:11
You both want to try out for Joseph?	0:34:11	0:34:12
-Yes, Mr Maddens. -Yeah? Neither of you are going to. Sit down.	0:34:12	0:34:17
I knew you'd never let me!	0:34:17	0:34:19
Jade. Do you want to try for Mary?	0:34:23	0:34:26
-Olly. -Yes, Mr Maddens. -Take your feet of the seat.	0:34:26	0:34:30
-Try for Joseph. Come on. -Thank you, Mr Maddens.	0:34:35	0:34:38
# I'll grow to love her	0:34:40	0:34:42
# It might work out	0:34:42	0:34:46
# Too young to know	0:34:46	0:34:49
# What it's all about... #	0:34:49	0:34:53
This one I'm quite excited about, but it's a bit of a risk.	0:34:53	0:34:56
It could go either way. If you don't like it, you can just say.	0:34:56	0:35:00
Er... What...? Hang on. What's down here?	0:35:00	0:35:03
Oh, I think I've just found...	0:35:03	0:35:07
What's...? DOOR CLOSES	0:35:07	0:35:09
# Together, for ever	0:35:13	0:35:17
# And always home	0:35:17	0:35:22
-# Together... # -Other hand.	0:35:22	0:35:23
# For ever and always	0:35:23	0:35:27
# Always home. #	0:35:27	0:35:31
And kiss.	0:35:31	0:35:33
-BOTH: -And no. -They don't have to kiss. -Yes.	0:35:33	0:35:37
-No, Mr Poppy. -What about a cuddle? -Jade, Olly. Come here.	0:35:37	0:35:40
Sit here.	0:35:40	0:35:41
-That was excellent. -Thank you.	0:35:44	0:35:45
-You've got a beautiful voice. -Thank you.	0:35:45	0:35:47
And, Olly.	0:35:47	0:35:50
That was really good.	0:35:50	0:35:52
Thank you, Mr Maddens.	0:35:52	0:35:53
So, what was all that about earlier?	0:35:53	0:35:56
-Alfie got on my nerves. -But do you see what I'm saying to you?	0:35:56	0:36:00
I don't care if someone's getting on your nerves, you don't fight.	0:36:00	0:36:02
People think you're a bad lad. Maybe you're not.	0:36:02	0:36:05
The more bad things you do,	0:36:05	0:36:07
people have you marked down as that.	0:36:07	0:36:09
You've got talent and you let yourself down by being silly.	0:36:09	0:36:13
There are only so many conversations I can have about that.	0:36:13	0:36:17
Only so many times I can tell you off. Do you understand?	0:36:17	0:36:20
You don't want to be told off by me. It's boring. I hate doing it.	0:36:20	0:36:23
It's really boring for me as well.	0:36:23	0:36:26
If you could show me more of what you've shown me there,	0:36:26	0:36:30
you could be great in this show.	0:36:30	0:36:32
-So, can I be Joseph, Mr Maddens? -We don't know that yet.	0:36:32	0:36:35
Boy band, all right.	0:36:35	0:36:37
I'm thinking I can see my boy band here.	0:36:37	0:36:40
I'm thinking this is the boy band, but we've got to whittle it down.	0:36:40	0:36:44
-Without TJ. -Buddy? No TJ.	0:36:44	0:36:46
-Why? -I think he'd be a cool Gabriel. -OK.	0:36:46	0:36:49
He's in my Gabriel pile.	0:36:49	0:36:51
How will we whittle it down?	0:36:51	0:36:53
We've got to lose two.	0:36:53	0:36:55
-Good dancer. Zack is a great dancer. -He should definitely be in it.	0:36:55	0:36:59
-Matt? -Spiky hair and a good dancer.	0:36:59	0:37:01
Right, spiky hair, he's a good dancer.	0:37:01	0:37:04
Plus, he's eye-candy for the girls.	0:37:04	0:37:05
I don't think we need to bother ourselves with that. He's 11.	0:37:05	0:37:08
Have you seen the looks he gets in the playground?	0:37:08	0:37:11
-I don't look for those. -All these girls are like...	0:37:11	0:37:13
Good. OK, well...	0:37:13	0:37:14
-He doesn't walk around the playground, he struts. -Erm...	0:37:14	0:37:18
-Bobby! -Good morning, Mr Poppy.	0:37:18	0:37:21
I'm feeling a bit upset because I haven't got the part in the show.	0:37:21	0:37:26
How do you know that? We're just working it out.	0:37:26	0:37:29
-Bob, what do you want to be? -I want to be king. -Bob...	0:37:29	0:37:32
# She's the brightest star I've ever seen... #	0:37:32	0:37:35
-Throw some shapes. -INDISTINCT SINGING	0:37:35	0:37:38
# ..She shines down the light	0:37:43	0:37:45
# And she's gonna be my girl and me her boy... #	0:37:45	0:37:50
Is there room for a little one?	0:37:50	0:37:52
-Hm. Yeah. -You're through.	0:37:52	0:37:54
Get in there, baby, get in.	0:37:54	0:37:56
Thank you, Bob.	0:37:56	0:37:58
Chin up.	0:37:58	0:38:00
Things are moving apace a little bit with this Hollywood business.	0:38:01	0:38:06
If they go down the road before they come here, it'll be disastrous.	0:38:06	0:38:09
It's the end of everything. We'll be washed up by the age of ten.	0:38:09	0:38:13
We need to find Jennifer Law,	0:38:13	0:38:14
who's this executive producer - she works in one of the major studios.	0:38:14	0:38:19
I need somebody to go online to find out where she is.	0:38:19	0:38:22
I want her contacted.	0:38:22	0:38:24
We need to find out exactly what they're doing in their show.	0:38:24	0:38:27
-ALL: Yes, Mr Shakespeare. -We can see what their show's like,	0:38:27	0:38:31
see what they've got going on, then we can top it.	0:38:31	0:38:33
We beat them. If their show's big, we make ours bigger.	0:38:33	0:38:36
SHOUTING	0:38:36	0:38:38
We're going to do a warm-up	0:38:44	0:38:45
because it's very important before we do strenuous rehearsals or activity,	0:38:45	0:38:50
that we are warm our bodies and our minds up.	0:38:50	0:38:53
Minds are equally important to warm up as our bodies.	0:38:53	0:38:56
-Hi, Mr Poppy. -Hi.	0:38:56	0:38:57
We're going to do a gentle warm-up. You can join us, if you like.	0:38:57	0:39:00
I've got some music. I prepared a warm-up.	0:39:00	0:39:03
A little dance. We're going to limber up.	0:39:03	0:39:05
Copy what I do. And you, Mr Maddens.	0:39:05	0:39:08
MUSIC: "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5	0:39:08	0:39:11
-Ho, ho, ho. -CHILDREN COPY	0:39:15	0:39:18
# A-ha-ha-ha-ha	0:39:27	0:39:31
# Let me tell you now	0:39:31	0:39:34
# Ooh-hoo	0:39:34	0:39:36
# When I had you to myself I didn't want you around	0:39:38	0:39:42
# Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd	0:39:42	0:39:46
# But someone picked you from the bunch	0:39:46	0:39:48
# One glance was all it took	0:39:48	0:39:51
# Now it's much too late for me to take a second look	0:39:51	0:39:55
# Oh, baby, give me one more chance	0:39:55	0:39:59
# Show you that I love you	0:39:59	0:40:00
# Won't you please let me back in your arms?	0:40:00	0:40:05
# Oh, darling, I was blind to let you go	0:40:05	0:40:10
# But now since I see you in his arms	0:40:10	0:40:14
-# I want you back -Yes, I do now	0:40:14	0:40:16
-# I want you back... # -Spies!	0:40:16	0:40:18
-CHILDREN SHOUT -Mr Maddens, it's the freak.	0:40:18	0:40:21
Cry God for Harry, England and St George!	0:40:23	0:40:30
-Come on. -SHOUTING	0:40:30	0:40:33
-SHE LAUGHS -Break time.	0:40:42	0:40:44
I wanted to say, you know, if you needed help	0:40:44	0:40:46
with the singing or dancing, or anything like that.	0:40:46	0:40:49
SHOUTING CONTINUES	0:40:49	0:40:51
-Step, step, change... -Excuse me. -Step, step...	0:40:55	0:40:58
Gordon!	0:41:04	0:41:06
Gordon!	0:41:07	0:41:09
-I don't know what's happening. -What are you doing?	0:41:09	0:41:12
-Why've you come to the school? -We came on a field trip and...	0:41:12	0:41:15
-Excuse me. Excuse me. No... -Mr Maddens!	0:41:17	0:41:20
Bundle!	0:41:23	0:41:26
Some of the children have described being encouraged to have a rumble.	0:41:29	0:41:33
What on earth does that mean?	0:41:33	0:41:35
It was more of a bundle than a rumble.	0:41:35	0:41:37
Bundle or rumble, I do not care.	0:41:37	0:41:39
You've dragged this school and your trousers through the mire.	0:41:39	0:41:44
If it wasn't for this Hollywood thing,	0:41:44	0:41:46
you'd be off the premises without a job and without a reference.	0:41:46	0:41:48
Get out, back your classrooms.	0:41:48	0:41:50
-Tuck your shirt in. -I'm really sorry.	0:41:50	0:41:54
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, Thank you for coming.	0:41:54	0:41:56
I know a lot of you have heard about the Hollywood connection,	0:41:56	0:42:00
so I'll hand you over to Mr Maddens. Paul.	0:42:00	0:42:03
There was talk about relocating.	0:42:03	0:42:05
Is this... Is there any truth in this?	0:42:05	0:42:08
I don't want any of us to run away with ourselves	0:42:08	0:42:12
and dream about Hollywood mansions or swimming pools,	0:42:12	0:42:15
when we know that is plainly a fantasy.	0:42:15	0:42:17
Yeah, but if the people from Hollywood see something brilliant	0:42:17	0:42:21
in your child, they'll probably take them over there.	0:42:21	0:42:24
I'm worried about the religious aspect being lost.	0:42:24	0:42:26
It will be absolutely, 100%,	0:42:26	0:42:29
in line with the teaching of the Church, a normal Nativity.	0:42:29	0:42:32
Yeah, but also we've got the death slide.	0:42:32	0:42:34
How much are you paying?	0:42:34	0:42:36
There will be no financial benefit, as far as I know.	0:42:36	0:42:39
If you're making a film, there's got to be a fee.	0:42:39	0:42:41
Nobody does a film for nothing.	0:42:41	0:42:43
It's Hollywood, they've got the money.	0:42:43	0:42:45
And he's really good. He deserves to be paid.	0:42:45	0:42:48
About £1 million. I think, I've heard.	0:42:48	0:42:51
-We're going to have to get agents. -Alfie can't have contacts.	0:42:51	0:42:54
Just don't cast him, then.	0:42:54	0:42:56
-My daughter is very beautiful. -Will my daughter Becky be...?	0:42:56	0:42:59
-My daughter is going to be... -She's a Mary, isn't she?	0:42:59	0:43:02
EVERYONE SPEAKS AT ONCE	0:43:02	0:43:04
OK... Hi, Jennifer, this is, er, Paul. Paul Maddens.	0:43:04	0:43:08
Er... Just wondering if you can possibly give me a call back.	0:43:08	0:43:11
I have something to ask you, if that's all right.	0:43:11	0:43:14
If you could give me a ri... Love you.	0:43:14	0:43:17
What are you...?! Don't say that.	0:43:17	0:43:20
Why did you tell me to say that?	0:43:20	0:43:22
-It's a nice ending. -It's not a nice ending.	0:43:22	0:43:25
It's a totally inappropriate ending. What are you talking about?	0:43:25	0:43:28
-Why are you were my house?! -I'm just trying to help, Mr Maddens.	0:43:28	0:43:32
It's not helping!	0:43:32	0:43:33
I haven't told her I loved her have a five years...	0:43:33	0:43:36
Get out. What are you doing?	0:43:36	0:43:38
He's doing it for the best,	0:43:38	0:43:39
because if it does happen, it'll be brilliant.	0:43:39	0:43:42
-It's not happening. -But it might happen. -How?	0:43:42	0:43:45
-Well... -How's it going to happen?	0:43:45	0:43:47
-Maybe you could kind of help out. -Desmond.	0:43:47	0:43:51
Are you going to be on break duty, today? Can you...?	0:43:51	0:43:54
-I was chatting with Miss Rye. -You shouldn't be.	0:43:54	0:43:57
Can you get out, please?	0:43:57	0:43:58
-Paul. -Yeah?	0:43:58	0:44:00
Why did you lie?	0:44:01	0:44:03
-About what? -About America,	0:44:03	0:44:06
about Hollywood all being a complete load of rubbish.	0:44:06	0:44:09
-You've lied about all this. -You DID lie.	0:44:09	0:44:11
I'm in shock. I'm in shock.	0:44:11	0:44:14
I'm really sorry. I was looking for the right time.	0:44:14	0:44:15
-What are you going to do? -I don't know.	0:44:15	0:44:18
-You've got to do something. -Maybe you've got an idea.	0:44:18	0:44:21
You've got to get Jennifer to return your calls	0:44:21	0:44:24
-or speak to you, whatever. -Yes.	0:44:24	0:44:26
We're going to film what we've done.	0:44:26	0:44:28
-We'll film some of the rehearsals. -A best bits.	0:44:28	0:44:31
-A best bit of these children? -Yes. -Four seconds. There are no best bits.	0:44:31	0:44:34
-Oh! -Come on, Paul!	0:44:34	0:44:36
OK, just get something. Get what you can.	0:44:36	0:44:39
The best thing you can. On the DVD.	0:44:39	0:44:41
Film it for the DVD. Send the DVD.	0:44:41	0:44:43
Stop saying "DVD".	0:44:43	0:44:44
It's got to be worth a try.	0:44:44	0:44:46
Well, I'm not doing the DVD.	0:44:46	0:44:50
# She's the brightest star I've ever seen	0:44:50	0:44:53
# It's like we're living in some kind of dream	0:44:53	0:44:58
# Why do I feel love with her with hope and joy	0:44:58	0:45:01
# Cos she's shining down the light	0:45:01	0:45:04
# And she's gonna be my girl and me her boy... #	0:45:04	0:45:08
VOICES FADE TO SILENT	0:45:08	0:45:10
THEY CHEER	0:45:21	0:45:23
OK. Er...	0:45:24	0:45:26
OK, nice and loud. In here, in here. Go!	0:45:38	0:45:41
HE SOBS	0:45:45	0:45:47
'Hello, you don't know me. I've heard a lot about you	0:45:53	0:45:57
'and the children have got something they want to tell you.	0:45:57	0:46:00
'Mr Maddens is having a hard time without you.	0:46:00	0:46:02
'Mr Maddens loves you so much, so can you please come back?	0:46:02	0:46:09
'Please, please come back and mend Mr Maddens' heart.	0:46:09	0:46:11
'Mr Maddens is heartbroken without you.	0:46:11	0:46:14
'Without you, Mr Maddens is lost.	0:46:16	0:46:18
'Mr Maddens is miserable without you, Jennifer.	0:46:18	0:46:23
'So, please, please come.	0:46:23	0:46:26
'Erm, and come and see the show while you're here.	0:46:26	0:46:29
'And everything will be good.'	0:46:29	0:46:31
The Lord Mayor welcomes Mrs Bevan and Mr Maddens!	0:46:44	0:46:48
APPLAUSE	0:46:48	0:46:51
-Paul Maddens. -Nice to meet you.	0:46:55	0:46:57
-How d'you do? -Nice to see you again. -Lovely to be here.	0:46:57	0:47:00
You look marvellous, by the way.	0:47:00	0:47:02
This old thing comes out at Christmas time.	0:47:02	0:47:04
You look like a Christmas cracker!	0:47:04	0:47:06
Thank you very much.	0:47:06	0:47:07
Let's hope you get pulled before the end of the night!	0:47:07	0:47:10
Can I take you for a drink, Mrs Bevan?	0:47:10	0:47:14
I'm sure you'd like another glass of champagne.	0:47:14	0:47:15
I'd love another one. It's very nice, very cooling.	0:47:15	0:47:18
-Patrick Burns. -Hello.	0:47:18	0:47:20
-Coventry Evening Telegraph. -I know who you are, yeah.	0:47:20	0:47:23
-Excited? -About?	0:47:23	0:47:26
Hollywood?	0:47:26	0:47:27
Oh, yeah, that old thing.	0:47:27	0:47:29
I've got contacts there. Had them for years.	0:47:29	0:47:31
Pulling in a favour.	0:47:31	0:47:33
Yeah. From a young lady. Jennifer, isn't it?	0:47:33	0:47:36
-Er, yeah. -Yeah...	0:47:36	0:47:38
Sorry, I know how this works. No. You're a reporter and it's...	0:47:38	0:47:41
No, I'm off duty. I'm off duty.	0:47:41	0:47:44
-I hear there's no such thing. -Please.	0:47:44	0:47:47
Gordon was saying how you had a few problems in the beginning	0:47:47	0:47:51
and then he said to her, "You go, girl. You go to LA."	0:47:51	0:47:54
I just wondered your take on it all.	0:47:54	0:47:58
-I'm sensing a lot of anger. -Are you? Why would that be, I wonder?	0:48:00	0:48:05
Could it be because you are the man who, five years ago,	0:48:05	0:48:08
roundly trashed my one honest attempt at putting on a Nativity.	0:48:08	0:48:12
It doesn't ring a bell. Sure it was me?	0:48:12	0:48:15
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" was the headline. Now, with a chance...	0:48:15	0:48:18
Oh, come on. It was appalling.	0:48:18	0:48:20
So, you do remember it?	0:48:20	0:48:21
I did that review to make you tough.	0:48:21	0:48:24
Look at you now. You're mixing with Hollywood.	0:48:24	0:48:27
You're no-one if you haven't had a bad review off Patrick Burns.	0:48:27	0:48:30
That's why they call them Burns' victims.	0:48:30	0:48:32
Ladies and gentlemen,	0:48:35	0:48:36
can I thank you for your attendance and your support	0:48:36	0:48:38
because I would like to publicly congratulate	0:48:38	0:48:41
Mr Maddens and St Bernadette's School	0:48:41	0:48:44
for the incredible opportunity they are affording our wonderful city.	0:48:44	0:48:48
APPLAUSE	0:48:48	0:48:50
In honour of this occasion, and much against the council's wishes,	0:48:50	0:48:53
the mayor's parlour has overruled the council	0:48:53	0:48:56
and we would like to offer the cathedral ruins	0:48:56	0:48:59
as a venue for your show.	0:48:59	0:49:01
HE LAUGHS	0:49:01	0:49:03
APPLAUSE	0:49:03	0:49:04
Mr Maddens.	0:49:15	0:49:17
This is brilliant. This is going to blow your mind.	0:49:17	0:49:20
Prepare to be amazed.	0:49:20	0:49:23
We're doing it at the cathedral.	0:49:23	0:49:25
What?	0:49:25	0:49:27
-We're doing the show in the ruins of the cathedral. -Yes!	0:49:27	0:49:33
The cathedral's got a spire.	0:49:33	0:49:35
-It's got a really high spire. -You don't seem to understand	0:49:35	0:49:38
that the bigger this gets...	0:49:38	0:49:39
It's now constituting fraud.	0:49:39	0:49:41
He's getting corporate sponsors involved to give money	0:49:41	0:49:45
-and to give their services for free. -We need money.	0:49:45	0:49:47
-We need lights. We need a little smoke machine. -Please.	0:49:47	0:49:50
We need someone to help do the hanging. I can't.	0:49:50	0:49:53
-I tried with the rope, but it keeps snapping... -Mr Poppy.	0:49:53	0:49:55
Stop it, please. Seriously.	0:49:55	0:49:57
-What are you doing? -I think I'm having a heart...	0:49:57	0:50:00
-Mr Maddens. -Don't touch me.	0:50:00	0:50:02
-You're upset, aren't you? -HIGH-PITCHED: Oh!	0:50:02	0:50:05
I can give you a cuddle. Cuddles make it all go away.	0:50:05	0:50:09
I promise. Feel this.	0:50:09	0:50:12
(You're hurting me.)	0:50:12	0:50:15
We can do this, Mr Maddens, can't we?	0:50:15	0:50:16
"Yes, we can."	0:50:16	0:50:18
-No, we can't. -We can, we can. Look...	0:50:18	0:50:21
I'll leave you here, all right?	0:50:21	0:50:23
You can listen to the music and just chill out and relax.	0:50:23	0:50:26
I'll take care of the children.	0:50:26	0:50:28
MUSIC PLAYS ON LAPTOP	0:50:28	0:50:30
Believe, Mr Maddens, believe.	0:50:30	0:50:33
# I've had a little make-over and I'm all dressed up tonight... #	0:50:33	0:50:36
Out to here, out to here.	0:50:36	0:50:38
# A cheeky drink A naughty wink... #	0:50:38	0:50:42
Yes.	0:50:42	0:50:45
-# Step up and put your shades on -Cos I'm about to shine... #	0:50:45	0:50:48
This is the cathedral. Fill the cathedral.	0:50:48	0:50:51
-Good. -# Cos there's no star like mine! #	0:50:51	0:50:54
Yes.	0:50:54	0:50:56
ALL: # Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh... #	0:50:56	0:50:58
See, that's... Can you cut the music, please? Cut the music.	0:50:58	0:51:01
That has got to come in absolutely after the...	0:51:01	0:51:04
# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. #	0:51:04	0:51:06
Bosh! # Sparkle and shine! #	0:51:06	0:51:09
It has to have that ferocity to it.	0:51:09	0:51:11
It's a cathedral we're trying to fill, not just this hall.	0:51:11	0:51:14
You're not hitting me when I'm here.	0:51:14	0:51:16
OK, let's go again, please.	0:51:16	0:51:18
# I've had a little make-over and I'm all dressed up tonight	0:51:18	0:51:23
# A cheeky drink A naughty wink	0:51:23	0:51:27
# We'll loosen up, all right	0:51:27	0:51:30
# Step up and put your shades on	0:51:30	0:51:33
# Cos I'm about to shine	0:51:33	0:51:36
# My blinding light will throw you	0:51:36	0:51:38
# Cos there's no starlight like mine	0:51:38	0:51:42
# Sparkle and shine	0:51:42	0:51:45
# Planets gather round	0:51:45	0:51:47
# Sparkle and shine	0:51:47	0:51:50
# Let's all make a dazzling sound	0:51:50	0:51:53
# Here's something you won't believe	0:51:53	0:51:56
# It's the first time ever It's Christmas Eve. #	0:51:56	0:52:01
HE HOLDS NOTE	0:52:01	0:52:03
Very good. Very good. Well done.	0:52:07	0:52:10
BELL RINGS All right. Be back in an hour. Go.	0:52:10	0:52:13
CHILDREN SHOUT Mr Poppy! Mr...	0:52:13	0:52:17
Right, carefully, please. Carefully, Lucy.	0:52:17	0:52:20
Hello, Sadie. That was great. Well done.	0:52:20	0:52:25
-I don't really want to do it. -You don't want to do what?	0:52:25	0:52:28
The singing and dancing.	0:52:28	0:52:30
Come here. Sit down. Sit down.	0:52:30	0:52:32
HE CLEARS THROAT	0:52:36	0:52:38
Sadie, that was absolutely brilliant.	0:52:38	0:52:39
Everyone's going to laugh at me.	0:52:39	0:52:41
No, everyone's going to laugh with you.	0:52:41	0:52:44
Anyone who tells you that anyone's going to laugh at you must be a fool,	0:52:44	0:52:48
because you were great up there -	0:52:48	0:52:50
you sparkled and you shone like the brightest star.	0:52:50	0:52:52
You were really good.	0:52:52	0:52:54
Please don't drop out now.	0:52:54	0:52:55
HE SIGHS Truth be known, I need you.	0:52:57	0:53:01
I need all of you in it, OK?	0:53:01	0:53:03
If you don't do it for yourself, please, look at me -	0:53:03	0:53:06
I'm a man literally on the edge of something, I don't know what.	0:53:06	0:53:10
But if you go now, it will really, genuinely...	0:53:10	0:53:16
hurt me.	0:53:16	0:53:17
You were great up there.	0:53:18	0:53:21
-Do I have to wear a stupid costume? -Yes.	0:53:21	0:53:24
It's the Nativity. You can't look cool.	0:53:24	0:53:26
Go on, have your lunch.	0:53:26	0:53:28
Oh, you're joking!	0:53:38	0:53:40
"Dear Father Christmas,	0:54:00	0:54:02
"I'm so scared of not doing the play properly,	0:54:02	0:54:05
"so please could you make my Christmas wish come true	0:54:05	0:54:08
"and make Hollywood love us in the play?	0:54:08	0:54:10
"PS, make me be Mary. Love, Saffron."	0:54:10	0:54:14
"Dear Santa, please send me loads of stuff and surprises.	0:54:16	0:54:20
"I want to be happy and see more of my mum,	0:54:20	0:54:23
"cos she never spends any time with me.	0:54:23	0:54:25
"And please let me be Joseph.	0:54:25	0:54:27
"She's never seen me do a school play before.	0:54:27	0:54:30
"Thank you very much, from Olly."	0:54:30	0:54:32
"Dear Santa, please, please let my Christmas wish come true.	0:54:37	0:54:41
"I'd really love for everyone in the world to be happy, even Mr Maddens.	0:54:41	0:54:45
"Please help Mr Maddens get his girlfriend back	0:54:45	0:54:48
"when she comes to see us.	0:54:48	0:54:49
"Thank you very much, from Charlotte."	0:54:49	0:54:52
"Dear Father Christmas,	0:54:59	0:55:01
"please make my teacher happy, cos he seems really sad.	0:55:01	0:55:04
"He doesn't even like Christmas.	0:55:04	0:55:07
"So, please help him find his smile. Love from Lizzie."	0:55:07	0:55:11
HE GULPS	0:55:11	0:55:13
Right. Who wants to go on a death slide?	0:55:23	0:55:27
-ALL: -Me! -Yes!	0:55:27	0:55:29
-What's going on? -I'm going.	0:55:31	0:55:33
-What d'you mean, you're going? -I'm going to Hollywood. -You...	0:55:33	0:55:36
-Are you being serious? -Yes, I am.	0:55:36	0:55:38
-Ah! -HE LAUGHS	0:55:38	0:55:40
I want to kiss you. And me too.	0:55:40	0:55:43
No, no. You've got to be here, look after the play.	0:55:43	0:55:46
-You're my wingman. -Yes, Mr Maddens!	0:55:46	0:55:50
-Send me a postcard, man. -I will do. -OK. Do-do-doo!	0:55:50	0:55:54
-TO TUNE OF "HOLIDAYS ARE COMING": -# Hollywood is coming! #	0:55:54	0:55:58
CHIMES, FLIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT	0:55:58	0:56:03
-Mr Maddens. -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. -Mr Maddens.	0:56:03	0:56:06
-Hello. -Room for two little ones?	0:56:06	0:56:07
-Sorry? -William and Saffron are coming with you.	0:56:07	0:56:10
-They can't come on the plane with me. -I've got consent forms.	0:56:10	0:56:13
-I've got the passports. -Passports? -Tickets.	0:56:13	0:56:16
Miss Rye and I thought it would be a good idea if they come with you,	0:56:16	0:56:20
cos they can sing and dance and do the opening numbers and Nazareth.	0:56:20	0:56:23
The gate's closing. She's got allergies.	0:56:23	0:56:25
-What are your allergies? -Ponies, horses, donkeys and cats.	0:56:25	0:56:28
-I don't have time for this. -It's a good idea.	0:56:28	0:56:31
-Desmond, this is all very sweet. -They can help you.	0:56:31	0:56:34
I'm not taking two children on an 11-hour flight.	0:56:34	0:56:37
MUSIC: "Sleigh Ride" by The Ronettes	0:56:46	0:56:49
-Mr Maddens! Look what we've found! -What is it?	0:57:03	0:57:05
So, we're in the right area.	0:57:05	0:57:07
We're closer to her than we were at the beach. Good.	0:57:07	0:57:10
We should be getting very near Beverly Hills now.	0:57:10	0:57:14
Saffron!	0:57:14	0:57:16
If we come across anyone, let me do the talking. You keep schtum, OK?	0:57:18	0:57:22
Now, just follow me.	0:57:22	0:57:23
-Excuse me. -Hi. -Hey, you guys have an appointment?	0:57:23	0:57:26
Er, yes, that's right. I have an appointment with Jennifer Law.	0:57:26	0:57:29
-My name is Paul Maddens. -Can I see some ID, please?	0:57:29	0:57:33
-Sorry? -I need to see a piece of ID.	0:57:33	0:57:36
I'm so sorry. Totally my fault. I haven't got it with me.	0:57:36	0:57:40
You're not on the list. I wouldn't let you on if you had it.	0:57:40	0:57:44
Is it possible to check somewhere else?	0:57:44	0:57:47
I've come all the way with these two.	0:57:47	0:57:49
-I'll check. -If you would.	0:57:49	0:57:50
Follow me.	0:57:52	0:57:54
-Come on! -Hey!	0:57:54	0:57:55
-This way! -Hey! Come here! Hey, stop! Come here! Stop!	0:57:55	0:57:59
Quick.	0:57:59	0:58:00
Come on.	0:58:00	0:58:03
OK. OK. Come here. Hold on tight. Hold on tight.	0:58:06	0:58:10
Stop!	0:58:10	0:58:12
Stop! Wait!	0:58:13	0:58:15
-Whoa! -Whoa! Whoa!	0:58:18	0:58:22
Gabriel! Thomas, it's not your bit.	0:58:22	0:58:25
What d'you mean, it's not my bit?	0:58:25	0:58:27
BLEATING	0:58:29	0:58:30
SQUEALING	0:58:37	0:58:39
DONKEY BRAYS	0:58:48	0:58:50
Aw!	0:58:55	0:58:56
-TRUMP! -Oh!	0:58:56	0:58:58
..That's a David Lowenstein? OK, putting you through.	0:59:04	0:59:08
Good morning, Independent United Pictures. Hi, Angie!	0:59:08	0:59:11
I know!	0:59:11	0:59:13
Putting you through.	0:59:15	0:59:17
-How can I help you, sir? -My name is Paul Maddens...	0:59:17	0:59:19
Good afternoon, Independent United Pictures. Uh-huh.	0:59:19	0:59:22
That's for Sean Michelle? Putting you through.	0:59:22	0:59:24
-I'm sorry, sir. -Hi. Paul Maddens to see Jennifer Law at ten o'clock.	0:59:24	0:59:29
-Can I take you name again, sir? -Paul Maddens. M-A-D-D-E-N-S.	0:59:29	0:59:33
-P-A-U-L-L? -P-A-U-L. No, just one L. -One L.	0:59:33	0:59:38
I don't have that appointment, sir.	0:59:38	0:59:40
-Sorry, is... -If you'd move away from the desk.	0:59:40	0:59:42
THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER	0:59:42	0:59:44
-Tony, we have children in reception! -So, what's the problem?	0:59:44	0:59:46
-Tony, we have children in reception! -What's the problem? -Kevin...	0:59:46	0:59:50
I'm so sorry, Jennifer, there's this crazy guy.	0:59:50	0:59:53
-Yeah, it's fine. -He's been ask... -It's OK. I...	0:59:53	0:59:56
You look amazing.	1:00:01	1:00:03
Why are you here?	1:00:03	1:00:05
You know why I'm here. You didn't give me much of a choice.	1:00:05	1:00:08
You didn't return my calls.	1:00:08	1:00:09
-Paul. -What? -I don't understand what I'm meant to do.	1:00:09	1:00:12
Look, you shouldn't be involved in it, but, somehow,	1:00:12	1:00:16
we've got to a situation where the whole town thinks	1:00:16	1:00:19
that Hollywood are coming.	1:00:19	1:00:20
Why do feel like I'm suddenly ten years ago?	1:00:20	1:00:23
I tried to maintain contact with you. You were having none of it.	1:00:23	1:00:26
-You did not want anything... -Excuse me.	1:00:26	1:00:28
-Sorry. Jen, this is that letter of agreement. -OK.	1:00:28	1:00:31
-You can take time off. -I can't take time off.	1:00:31	1:00:35
-I know you're busy. -I don't understand why...	1:00:35	1:00:37
An executive producer can't just take time off?	1:00:37	1:00:40
I'm not an executive producer.	1:00:40	1:00:42
What do you mean? What are you, then?	1:00:42	1:00:44
I file, I answer phone calls. I speak to people,	1:00:44	1:00:47
I put people in meetings,	1:00:47	1:00:49
-I take people out of meetings. -A secretary?	1:00:49	1:00:51
-Yep. -You can't be a secretary. You can't be a secretary.	1:00:51	1:00:55
She does a heck of a lot more than that, pal,	1:00:55	1:00:58
-and you should respect her time. -I am pretty much a secretary.	1:00:58	1:01:01
Yeah. Yeah.	1:01:01	1:01:03
I'm sorry. Look, I know this is mad.	1:01:03	1:01:06
I know this is absolutely insane and it's my fault.	1:01:06	1:01:09
I'm asking you for one more favour and then I'll be out of your life.	1:01:09	1:01:12
-I can't do anything. -If you can't, who can? Harrison, are you up for it?	1:01:12	1:01:17
I believe the answer is no. Sorry you came all this way...	1:01:17	1:01:20
-A trip to England? -I'm sorry you have come over here.	1:01:20	1:01:24
-Who could help me out, then? -If you got an appointment...	1:01:24	1:01:27
I am not leaving here with these two without something to take home, OK?	1:01:27	1:01:32
Come here!	1:01:32	1:01:33
-Kevin, get security. -Security, please!	1:01:34	1:01:37
This way, this way.	1:01:37	1:01:39
Have you heard of the Nativity?	1:01:39	1:01:43
HE SIGHS You have, I can tell you have.	1:01:43	1:01:46
So, we're doing our Nativity show.	1:01:46	1:01:48
-Mary meets Joseph. They... -I know the story. -OK.	1:01:48	1:01:53
All I need to tell you is it's being performed by 24 children.	1:01:53	1:01:55
It happens every year in every school around the world	1:01:55	1:01:59
where Christians are.	1:01:59	1:02:01
So, what's so special about yours?	1:02:01	1:02:03
A good question. Here's an even better answer.	1:02:03	1:02:06
One, two, three, four.	1:02:06	1:02:09
BOTH: # Things are really cool... # (Sing it out.)	1:02:09	1:02:12
# In Nazareth	1:02:12	1:02:14
# Our city is full of joy	1:02:14	1:02:18
# Cos this is where girl meets boy... #	1:02:18	1:02:21
Yes, that's a Sean Burridge. Putting you through.	1:02:21	1:02:25
Last chance.	1:02:25	1:02:26
Bye, Paul. Thanks for dropping by.	1:02:29	1:02:31
-Oh, shut up, Harrison! -Hey.	1:02:31	1:02:33
They're not coming, are they?	1:02:41	1:02:42
No, they're not.	1:02:45	1:02:47
-Is it our fault? -No.	1:02:47	1:02:50
No, it's not your fault. Come on.	1:02:50	1:02:54
Although, you could have sung a bit better.	1:02:55	1:02:58
They're expecting Hollywood to come and see their show.	1:03:03	1:03:08
-Mr Parker, we can make that happen. -I've got 50 states.	1:03:08	1:03:14
I've got hundreds of towns in each one of those states	1:03:14	1:03:18
that are putting on a Nativity play I can go see.	1:03:18	1:03:21
I don't need to travel 6,000 miles.	1:03:21	1:03:24
Mr Parker, I need you to do this for me.	1:03:24	1:03:28
I have worked here for three years, and...	1:03:28	1:03:31
every morning, at ten to eight, I take your coat, I hang it up.	1:03:31	1:03:37
At nine o'clock, I get you your coffee, I put it on your table.	1:03:37	1:03:42
I take away the letters. I put them into the outbox.	1:03:42	1:03:44
I take the other letters, put them in the inbox. I file, fax, smile.	1:03:44	1:03:49
Jennifer...	1:03:49	1:03:50
..that's what you're paid to do.	1:03:52	1:03:54
I know.	1:03:55	1:03:56
-Yeah. -Yes.	1:03:58	1:04:00
Hello.	1:04:05	1:04:07
Well?	1:04:07	1:04:08
No joy.	1:04:10	1:04:11
To take two children out of here without my permission,	1:04:15	1:04:18
I can't believe you did it.	1:04:18	1:04:19
Mrs Bevan, I have consent.	1:04:19	1:04:21
-Thank goodness. -Well... -Thank goodness for that.	1:04:21	1:04:24
It's the first thing Mr Poppy gave me.	1:04:24	1:04:26
Otherwise, it's abduction and the school would close. You realise?	1:04:26	1:04:29
Of course. I wouldn't have got on the plane without these.	1:04:29	1:04:32
You realise the school can get in severe trouble over this?	1:04:32	1:04:35
What is this?	1:04:39	1:04:41
I don't know what that is.	1:04:42	1:04:44
What is that? Did you do that?	1:04:44	1:04:46
Desmond, I trusted you.	1:04:49	1:04:50
I trusted you with children. Small lives.	1:04:50	1:04:54
I thought it was something you could rise to,	1:04:54	1:04:55
but you have been a disaster.	1:04:55	1:04:57
I'm sorry, Auntie Pat.	1:04:57	1:04:58
-Did you know about this?! -I didn't know about that.	1:04:58	1:05:01
But I did know about...	1:05:01	1:05:03
-No. -What did you kn...?	1:05:03	1:05:04
-What did you know? Shush! -We've got to tell her. -Speak to me, Miss Rye.	1:05:04	1:05:08
-What did you know? -Um...	1:05:08	1:05:09
Actually, Hollywood, they're not coming.	1:05:09	1:05:12
Um, Paul, Mr Maddens, panicked, I think, and...	1:05:12	1:05:18
lied.	1:05:18	1:05:19
Why did I ever, ever think this school	1:05:19	1:05:22
would ever have anything good happen to it and out of the ordinary	1:05:22	1:05:27
and successful and-and helpful to me and the children?	1:05:27	1:05:32
Why did I ever think that would happen?	1:05:32	1:05:35
-Mrs Bevan... -You'd better start looking for another job.	1:05:35	1:05:37
-Sorry? -And you. You're out.	1:05:37	1:05:40
You're irresponsible. You're not focused.	1:05:44	1:05:46
You are, I think, possibly educationally subnormal.	1:05:46	1:05:49
You have an attitude of wanting to be a friend to the children,	1:05:49	1:05:53
rather than a professional adult,	1:05:53	1:05:55
which, by the way, any fool can do that.	1:05:55	1:05:58
Any fool can say, "Hands up, who wants to meet a pig?	1:05:58	1:06:00
"Hands up, who wants to go to a hospital?"	1:06:00	1:06:02
Any fool can do that and it transpires you are that any fool.	1:06:02	1:06:06
I really had high hopes for you.	1:06:06	1:06:08
For five minutes, I thought you were something else. No.	1:06:08	1:06:11
It transpires you are actually just an idiot.	1:06:11	1:06:14
SHE SOBS	1:06:14	1:06:17
As you know, I've been away for a couple of days.	1:06:19	1:06:23
And in that time, something has changed regarding our Nativity.	1:06:23	1:06:28
I'm afraid I let you believe that Hollywood were coming	1:06:28	1:06:31
and they're not coming.	1:06:31	1:06:34
But worse than that,	1:06:34	1:06:35
we are not being allowed to do the show in the first place.	1:06:35	1:06:38
There will be no Nativity.	1:06:38	1:06:40
Can't we do the show, anyway? We don't care about Hollywood.	1:06:40	1:06:44
Unfortunately not. Mrs Bevan is not going to let us to the show.	1:06:44	1:06:47
-Er... -Please, please, please, Mr Maddens.	1:06:47	1:06:49
Can we still do the Nativity? Please!	1:06:49	1:06:53
I told a lie.	1:06:53	1:06:55
And I let that lie grow and multiply	1:06:55	1:06:58
and turn into lots of other little lies.	1:06:58	1:07:01
And, as I've told you all, probably, on may occasions,	1:07:01	1:07:05
a lie always, always causes more problems than it solves,	1:07:05	1:07:10
which is why I shan't be here next term.	1:07:10	1:07:13
This will be my last term here. I won't be coming back.	1:07:14	1:07:17
And worse than losing my job,	1:07:17	1:07:19
my position, my security, much worse than that,	1:07:19	1:07:22
is that I'm not going to see any of you again.	1:07:22	1:07:25
And...	1:07:25	1:07:26
..that's a very hurtful thing for me.	1:07:30	1:07:32
Come on. Back to your class, please.	1:07:32	1:07:35
# Have yourself a merry little Christmas	1:07:35	1:07:43
# Let your heart be light	1:07:45	1:07:50
# Next year, all our troubles	1:07:53	1:07:57
# Will be out of sight... #	1:07:57	1:08:01
-There's a wee joke in it, no? -Is there? -Yeah.	1:08:03	1:08:05
Yeah! Ah!	1:08:05	1:08:07
Just that little bit.	1:08:10	1:08:12
-It's good. -It's great, isn't it?	1:08:12	1:08:15
-Jennifer, how are you? -I'm all right.	1:08:15	1:08:18
INDISTINCT SPEECH	1:08:18	1:08:21
# Until then we'll have to muddle through	1:08:26	1:08:32
# Somehow	1:08:32	1:08:37
# So have yourself a merry little Christmas... #	1:08:40	1:08:48
Who are you and where do you come from?	1:08:48	1:08:52
ALL: We are the three kings and we've come to find the baby Jesus.	1:08:52	1:08:58
He is the new King of the Jews.	1:08:58	1:09:01
Kill every boy child in this land.	1:09:01	1:09:03
-Where's my baby, where's my baby? -Where's my baby, where's my baby?	1:09:03	1:09:07
Where's my baby? Where's my baby?	1:09:07	1:09:09
-Where's my baby, where's my baby? -Where's my baby, where's my baby?	1:09:09	1:09:13
ALL SHOUT	1:09:13	1:09:15
SCREAMING THROUGHOUT	1:09:17	1:09:21
I am the king!	1:09:32	1:09:34
APPLAUSE	1:09:34	1:09:35
# So have yourself	1:09:38	1:09:41
# A merry little	1:09:41	1:09:46
# Christmas now. #	1:09:46	1:09:51
Nouns are used to name a person, animal, place, thing or idea.	1:09:51	1:09:57
We've got a football, pineapple, iguana, a guitar.	1:09:57	1:10:01
Nouns can be replaced by these - pronouns.	1:10:01	1:10:04
They can replace nouns or other pronouns.	1:10:04	1:10:07
So, "ours", "she", "one", "he", "it", "this", "you", "none".	1:10:07	1:10:11
-Are you all right, Cleo? -No, not very.	1:10:13	1:10:15
What's the problem?	1:10:15	1:10:17
Nothing.	1:10:17	1:10:18
TJ?	1:10:18	1:10:20
-I miss Mr Poppy. -Everyone misses Mr Poppy.	1:10:20	1:10:24
We'd be doing the play if Mr Poppy was still here.	1:10:24	1:10:28
ALL CHANT: Poppy! Poppy! Poppy!	1:10:47	1:10:50
What am I doing?	1:10:52	1:10:54
Meet me in the hall in ten minutes. We're doing the play.	1:10:54	1:10:57
-ALL: -Yes! -ALL CHEER	1:10:57	1:11:01
All right?	1:11:10	1:11:11
BLEATING	1:11:11	1:11:12
Desmond...I've come to apologise.	1:11:14	1:11:17
I said some things to you that were unforgivable	1:11:17	1:11:21
and that weren't true and that were mean.	1:11:21	1:11:23
I want you to do the play with me,	1:11:23	1:11:25
because I told the children we're going to do it	1:11:25	1:11:27
and I can't do it without you.	1:11:27	1:11:28
I messed everything up.	1:11:30	1:11:33
I know I put it on you. I know I did.	1:11:33	1:11:36
You were right all along.	1:11:36	1:11:38
And for ad undas, you've been right on the money.	1:11:38	1:11:42
You said I was scared, I denied it. You were absolutely right.	1:11:42	1:11:44
You said I was still in love with Jennifer.	1:11:44	1:11:47
I denied it and you were absolutely right.	1:11:47	1:11:50
Well, let's do it. What are you waiting for? We'd better get going.	1:11:57	1:12:00
-Come on. -You're going to do it? -Yeah, let's do it.	1:12:00	1:12:03
-Let's do it. -Right, thank you. You're not going to regret it.	1:12:03	1:12:06
Oh, my gosh!	1:12:14	1:12:16
It looks amazing!	1:12:16	1:12:17
You'll remember where to press the button. Nazareth...	1:12:17	1:12:20
-I'm nervous. -Don't be nervous.	1:12:20	1:12:22
-You're a Nazarene. -Mr Maddens?	1:12:22	1:12:24
-Yes? -I don't want to be a building. I want to get a proper part.	1:12:24	1:12:28
You're playing part of Nazareth in a song called Nazareth.	1:12:28	1:12:31
-Please, everyone, just calm down! -Fingers crossed.	1:12:31	1:12:34
I've forgotten it. I don't want to do it.	1:12:34	1:12:37
I'm nervous and I don't want to do it.	1:12:37	1:12:38
It's you and me. We'll beat them all.	1:12:38	1:12:41
-Come on, Mr Maddens. -Hey... -We've got to get going.	1:12:44	1:12:47
We haven't got much time. This is fine.	1:12:47	1:12:49
It's what everyone in Nazareth wore, even the women.	1:12:49	1:12:52
Not on the women. No.	1:12:52	1:12:53
Buddy, it's exciting. Look. The audience are filling up.	1:12:57	1:13:02
OK. Everybody listen up, all right?	1:13:02	1:13:05
Big bit of advice, and I had to learn this the hard way.	1:13:05	1:13:08
Can everybody make sure you've done a poo and a wee	1:13:08	1:13:11
because there won't be a chance when we get the show going.	1:13:11	1:13:14
You can use my caravan. Just get in there, do a poo and a wee.	1:13:14	1:13:16
Come back. There's no show. There will be no show.	1:13:16	1:13:19
I've just had a call telling me this was happening.	1:13:19	1:13:21
-I cannot believe... What is all this? -Mrs Bevan.	1:13:21	1:13:25
I cancelled this performance. I cancelled the show. You are sacked.	1:13:25	1:13:29
-You know you are sacked. -I'm already sacked.	1:13:29	1:13:31
-What else can you do? -Desmond!	1:13:31	1:13:33
Thank you. Thank you. This is absolutely marvellous.	1:13:33	1:13:36
-Well done, young man. -Thank you.	1:13:36	1:13:38
Break a leg, kids.	1:13:38	1:13:40
-Break a leg. -I need to have the microphone. -I'm going to do it.	1:13:40	1:13:45
Can you watch on that wing. APPLAUSE	1:13:45	1:13:47
Come on, this'll be sensational. The town will be so proud of you.	1:13:47	1:13:50
Ladies and gentlemen, mums and dads.	1:13:56	1:13:58
I just want to thank you for the effort	1:13:58	1:14:01
and the time you've put into the show.	1:14:01	1:14:03
Ladies and gentlemen, if I had to single any one person out	1:14:03	1:14:07
for their effort, time, their diligence and their enthusiasm,	1:14:07	1:14:11
it would have to be Mrs B, better known to you as Mrs Bevan.	1:14:11	1:14:16
Come and take a bow. Ladies and gentlemen, Mrs Bevan.	1:14:16	1:14:20
-Come on. -CHEERING	1:14:20	1:14:22
Erm, hello. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.	1:14:26	1:14:29
It's very kind of you.	1:14:29	1:14:31
This will be my last Nativity play, so it's a bit special. Really.	1:14:31	1:14:37
We're used to the school hall. We don't have all this beauty around,	1:14:37	1:14:40
normally, for the play.	1:14:40	1:14:42
And the mums and dads who've been before to see our Nativity play	1:14:42	1:14:45
know that things can go a little bit wrong with the little ones.	1:14:45	1:14:48
LAUGHTER	1:14:48	1:14:50
Don't ex... I was going to say don't expect too much.	1:14:50	1:14:53
But, er, I shouldn't have said that. Smack.	1:14:53	1:14:58
Nobody ever expects enough of the children at St Bernadette's.	1:14:58	1:15:02
Everyone expects them to go down the drain.	1:15:02	1:15:06
And I'm going to change that.	1:15:06	1:15:08
That's what I said 17 years ago,	1:15:10	1:15:12
and tonight, it stands a chance of coming true.	1:15:12	1:15:15
I've not seen it. I don't know what's going to happen.	1:15:15	1:15:20
All I know is that each and every one of these children is amazing	1:15:20	1:15:24
-and wonderful and a little pocket of stardust. -Hear, hear.	1:15:24	1:15:30
-I hope you enjoy it. -APPLAUSE	1:15:32	1:15:34
# Things are really cool in Nazareth	1:15:43	1:15:49
# Our city is full of joy	1:15:49	1:15:54
# Cos this is where girl meets boy	1:15:54	1:15:57
# Everything is cool in Nazareth	1:15:58	1:16:04
# They're going hand in hand	1:16:04	1:16:08
# This is no one-night stand	1:16:08	1:16:11
# A wedding is being planned here in Nazareth... #	1:16:11	1:16:17
THEY MOUTH	1:16:20	1:16:22
# Nazareth, a place to live	1:16:23	1:16:28
# Always willing to forgive	1:16:28	1:16:30
# Nazareth, our big heart swells	1:16:30	1:16:35
# We can hear those wedding bells	1:16:35	1:16:39
# Wedding bells	1:16:39	1:16:42
# Feeling in a fix in Nazareth	1:16:42	1:16:48
# Rules are to be obeyed	1:16:48	1:16:52
# Arrangements are being made	1:16:52	1:16:55
# Got to get your kicks in Nazareth	1:16:57	1:17:02
# Here we go, on our way	1:17:04	1:17:06
# Start of a brand-new day	1:17:06	1:17:10
# Still you cannot be swayed	1:17:10	1:17:14
# Good old Nazareth. #	1:17:14	1:17:16
CHEERING AND WHISTLING	1:17:16	1:17:19
# He's not my type	1:17:28	1:17:31
# She's not too bad	1:17:31	1:17:34
# Not the most gorgeous I've ever had	1:17:34	1:17:41
# I'll grow to love her	1:17:41	1:17:45
# It might work out	1:17:45	1:17:48
# Too young to know what it's all about	1:17:48	1:17:56
# And yet there's something behind those eyes	1:17:56	1:18:02
# A fire that flickers but never lies	1:18:02	1:18:09
# Could I love him?	1:18:09	1:18:12
# Could she love me?	1:18:12	1:18:16
# You can't rush into what it's meant to be	1:18:16	1:18:24
ALL: # One look	1:18:27	1:18:30
# And we're for ever	1:18:30	1:18:33
# One look and it's like we've always known	1:18:33	1:18:40
# One look	1:18:40	1:18:43
# We're boxing clever	1:18:43	1:18:48
# Together for ever	1:18:48	1:18:51
# And always hope	1:18:51	1:18:54
# Together for ever	1:18:54	1:18:59
# And always, always hope. #	1:18:59	1:19:05
APPLAUSE	1:19:07	1:19:08
OK, mate. It's your big moment.	1:19:17	1:19:21
Don't look down.	1:19:23	1:19:26
THUNDERCLAP	1:19:26	1:19:27
SHE SCREAMS	1:19:29	1:19:32
# OK, people, hear the news I've got something to yell about	1:19:50	1:19:55
# OK, people, forget the blues	1:19:55	1:19:57
# Here's something to feel swell about	1:19:57	1:19:59
-# Good news -Click your fingers	1:19:59	1:20:01
-# Good news -Stamp your feet	1:20:01	1:20:03
-# Good news -Always lingers	1:20:03	1:20:05
-# Good news -Feel the beat	1:20:05	1:20:08
-# Good news -Wakey, wakey	1:20:08	1:20:10
-# Good news -Shake your ass	1:20:10	1:20:12
-# Good news -Shaky, shaky	1:20:12	1:20:14
-# Good news -Listen, mass	1:20:14	1:20:16
# Good news	1:20:16	1:20:18
# Hey, little sister Hear the word	1:20:25	1:20:28
# There ain't no need for a big stuffed bird	1:20:29	1:20:31
# Time to holler, time to dance	1:20:34	1:20:36
# Whoo!	1:20:36	1:20:38
# Y'all gonna need some bigger pants	1:20:38	1:20:41
# Good news, good news	1:20:41	1:20:44
-# Yeah! -Good news	1:20:44	1:20:49
# Good news	1:20:49	1:20:50
# You'd better go when you get the idea... #	1:20:54	1:20:57
-Mr Maddens? -Yes, darling? -I have a tummy ache.	1:21:00	1:21:03
Oh, Sam, I need you to go on. Have you tried taking deep breaths?	1:21:03	1:21:06
-Yeah. -Tried taking your hat off for once? -Mm-hm.	1:21:06	1:21:09
-OK. Alfie, you're going to have to do it. -What?	1:21:09	1:21:12
-Can you go on in Sam's place, please? -No way.	1:21:12	1:21:14
-Why? -Because that's a girl's costume.	1:21:14	1:21:17
You already look like Barbarella. What's the difference?	1:21:17	1:21:19
Go in there, get dressed. Thank you.	1:21:19	1:21:21
SONG FINALE	1:21:28	1:21:31
APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING	1:21:31	1:21:33
Mary and Joseph were told they had to travel to Bethlehem	1:21:41	1:21:45
to be counted,	1:21:45	1:21:47
-because of the nasty, mean King Herod. -Stop!	1:21:47	1:21:51
-Mary had to... -You, shut up. Stop! Stop, everyone.	1:21:51	1:21:55
That'll do. OK, that's the end. Stop.	1:21:55	1:21:58
-I'll have that, please. Give me that. -Hey!	1:21:58	1:22:00
My name's Gordon Shakespeare. Just telling you now.	1:22:00	1:22:03
You thought you were here to see Hollywood. It's why you're here.	1:22:03	1:22:07
Not to see this sub-standard chav-fest.	1:22:07	1:22:10
It falls upon me to tell you that no-one was coming from Hollywood.	1:22:10	1:22:14
Nobody's coming and nobody will.	1:22:14	1:22:16
That man is a sham.	1:22:16	1:22:19
-(What?) -As if Hollywood would come to Coventry.	1:22:19	1:22:22
No. Look at him.	1:22:22	1:22:23
He's a dishonest person.	1:22:25	1:22:29
He lied.	1:22:29	1:22:31
(What is it?)	1:22:36	1:22:37
It's a star.	1:22:41	1:22:42
HELICOPTER ROTOR BLADES WHIRR	1:22:44	1:22:46
-MR POPPY: -It's Hollywood!	1:22:50	1:22:54
CHEERING	1:22:54	1:22:56
Ladies and gentlemen!	1:22:57	1:23:01
May I please introduce to you	1:23:01	1:23:04
the Star of Bethlehem and her sparkly, sparkly!	1:23:04	1:23:11
# Ooh, ooh	1:23:13	1:23:16
# Ooh, ooh ooh-ooh	1:23:16	1:23:19
# Aah!	1:23:19	1:23:22
# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh... #	1:23:22	1:23:26
OK, everybody. Clap your hands.	1:23:26	1:23:28
I'm a superstar and I'm coming out tonight.	1:23:28	1:23:30
# I've had a little make-over and I'm all dressed up tonight	1:23:30	1:23:35
# A cheeky drink A naughty wink	1:23:35	1:23:39
# We'll loosen up, all right	1:23:39	1:23:42
# Stand back and put your shades on	1:23:42	1:23:45
# Cos I'm about to shine	1:23:45	1:23:48
# My blinding light will throw you	1:23:48	1:23:50
# Cos there's no starlight like mine	1:23:50	1:23:54
# Ooh-ooh ooh, ooh-ooh ooh	1:23:54	1:23:56
# Sparkle and shine	1:23:56	1:23:59
# Planets gather round	1:23:59	1:24:02
# Sparkle and shine	1:24:02	1:24:05
# Let's all make a dazzling sound	1:24:05	1:24:08
# Here's something you won't believe	1:24:08	1:24:11
# It's the first time ever Christmas Eve	1:24:11	1:24:16
# I've got my light within me and it's coming out for you	1:24:20	1:24:25
# I'm dizzy with self-confidence Hope you can feel it too	1:24:25	1:24:31
-# I'm lighting up the skies tonight -So come on, join the party	1:24:31	1:24:37
-SINGS GRUDGINGLY: -# Make the moment last all night	1:24:37	1:24:40
# And keep the skies all starry... #	1:24:40	1:24:43
Olly! Your mum's here. I just saw her. She's right at the back.	1:24:43	1:24:47
When you do your rap, look for her and give it your everything.	1:24:47	1:24:51
-Mr Maddens, the donkey's freaking out. -Sorry?	1:24:51	1:24:53
-I gave it chocolate and it's feeling icky. -Chocolate?	1:24:53	1:24:56
Can you check on it. I'm doing the narration.	1:24:56	1:24:59
# ..Dazzling sound	1:24:59	1:25:00
# Here's something you won't believe	1:25:00	1:25:03
# It's the first time ever Christmas Eve. #	1:25:03	1:25:07
APPLAUSE	1:25:07	1:25:10
The four kings saw the beautiful shining star	1:25:29	1:25:33
rising from the East Side.	1:25:33	1:25:37
-They thought she looked... -HE ROLLS "R"	1:25:37	1:25:40
So they decided to follow her.	1:25:40	1:25:43
SLOW R&B TUNE PLAYS	1:25:43	1:25:45
-One time. -ECHOES	1:25:56	1:25:58
Come on, come on, come on.	1:25:58	1:26:01
-Two times. -# Shining down the light -Come on, come on	1:26:01	1:26:06
# Peace to the star	1:26:06	1:26:09
# Shining down the light	1:26:09	1:26:11
# What a moment when I saw her first	1:26:13	1:26:16
# She stole my heart So it's about to burst	1:26:16	1:26:21
# I'm the guy she twinkles for	1:26:21	1:26:24
# Je t'adore Cos she's blinding me with love	1:26:24	1:26:29
# She's my saviour from above	1:26:29	1:26:31
# She's the brightest star I've ever seen	1:26:31	1:26:34
# Brightest star	1:26:34	1:26:36
# It's like we're living in some kind of dream	1:26:36	1:26:38
# It's like some kind of dream	1:26:38	1:26:41
# Why do I feel overcome with hope and joy?	1:26:41	1:26:45
# Cos she's shining down her light	1:26:45	1:26:47
# And she's gonna be my girl and me her boy	1:26:47	1:26:51
# I'm feeling like I've got to follow her	1:26:51	1:26:56
# With frankincense and lots of gold and myrrh... #	1:26:56	1:26:58
Excuse me.	1:26:58	1:27:00
# She is gonna lead the way to Christmas Day	1:27:00	1:27:06
# Hallelujah, feeling good Time to leave this neighbourhood... #	1:27:06	1:27:10
-Hello, Mr Maddens. -SHE LAUGHS	1:27:20	1:27:23
You weren't coming.	1:27:23	1:27:24
I know.	1:27:26	1:27:28
(RAPS) She's the shining star from above	1:27:53	1:27:55
She sprinkles and she twinkles and I wanna be her love	1:27:55	1:27:58
I wanna squeeze her, please her Share my pizza	1:27:58	1:28:01
(DEEP VOICE) Extra spicy	1:28:01	1:28:02
She makes me hotter than the colour Fizzy deep inside	1:28:02	1:28:05
I wish I was a sleigh I'd take her for a ride	1:28:05	1:28:08
She's tiny, she's shiny She sparkles in the night	1:28:08	1:28:09
I love her and I need her to guide me through the night...word!	1:28:09	1:28:12
ECHOES	1:28:12	1:28:14
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE	1:28:14	1:28:17
Eventually, Mary and Jo-Jo	1:28:20	1:28:23
found an innkeeper what was nicerer. He said...	1:28:23	1:28:26
You can use my stable. At least it's dry.	1:28:26	1:28:28
-Yeah, man. Huh! -LAUGHTER	1:28:28	1:28:31
They asked the animals if they could nestle down to pop out Baby Jesus.	1:28:31	1:28:36
BRAYING	1:28:36	1:28:39
The donkey said, "Neigh."	1:28:39	1:28:40
But the other animals said it was all right.	1:28:40	1:28:43
And everyone what was anyone gathered around to witness...	1:28:43	1:28:47
SCREAMING	1:28:47	1:28:51
Buddy, what happened?	1:28:54	1:28:55
Well, I put that plug in and it all exploded.	1:28:55	1:29:00
Don't worry, I'll take care of it. You've got to get on stage.	1:29:00	1:29:04
I'm going to give you all a candle. We've got these candles.	1:29:04	1:29:07
As soon as you've got one, make your way out onto the stage.	1:29:07	1:29:11
Everyone, this is Jennifer, who've you've heard about from Hollywood.	1:29:11	1:29:15
-ALL: Hello. -Hi. -Get a candle. Right?	1:29:15	1:29:17
# Sometimes life is not all it can be	1:29:51	1:29:56
# And here we are	1:29:56	1:29:59
# Wondering just how far this road can lead	1:30:02	1:30:07
# And here we are	1:30:07	1:30:10
# And from the darkness shines a bright burning star	1:30:13	1:30:20
# And who we are is changing within our hearts	1:30:20	1:30:25
-# One night -One night	1:30:26	1:30:29
# One moment And everything's changed	1:30:29	1:30:36
# One night, one moment	1:30:36	1:30:38
# One night, one moment	1:30:38	1:30:40
# One night, one moment	1:30:40	1:30:42
# And everything is changed	1:30:42	1:30:45
# One night, one moment	1:30:45	1:30:48
# Tonight is so pure and so special	1:30:50	1:30:54
# We'll never feel lonely again	1:30:54	1:31:00
# Cos we are all standing together	1:31:00	1:31:06
# As friends	1:31:06	1:31:10
# Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ooh	1:31:10	1:31:13
# And everything's changing for ever	1:31:13	1:31:18
# One night, one moment... #	1:31:18	1:31:20
HE HOLDS NOTE	1:31:20	1:31:22
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE	1:31:30	1:31:32
-UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS -Yes!	1:31:35	1:31:38
Come on, everybody, clap your hands.	1:31:39	1:31:42
We're going to tear the roof off this place. Let's rock'n'roll!	1:31:45	1:31:48
Rock, rock. Wig out!	1:31:48	1:31:52
Yes!	1:31:52	1:31:54
OK, best back-flips ever!	1:31:56	1:31:59
SQUEALING	1:31:59	1:32:00
Olly.	1:32:02	1:32:03
GASPING	1:32:08	1:32:09
Yeah!	1:32:09	1:32:11
Edward.	1:32:11	1:32:13
TRUMP NOISES	1:32:13	1:32:15
TJ, throw some shapes.	1:32:15	1:32:18
CHEERING DROWNS SPEECH	1:32:23	1:32:25
-SHE BELCHES -Yeah!	1:32:25	1:32:27
OK, we've got special guests from Oakmoor. Thomas, joined by Frankie.	1:32:27	1:32:34
Yeah!	1:32:41	1:32:43
Mr Maddens,	1:32:43	1:32:45
come up, come up.	1:32:45	1:32:47
Bring Jennifer with you. Come on.	1:32:49	1:32:52
Miss Rye!	1:33:07	1:33:09
I love you.	1:33:09	1:33:11
Critic man, come up and boogie!	1:33:13	1:33:15
It doesn't matter how many stars you give it.	1:33:15	1:33:19
Gordon. Come up.	1:33:29	1:33:32
-No, Gordon. -Come on. -Gordon. Gordon. Come here.	1:33:32	1:33:36
# Sparkle and shine Planets gather round	1:33:49	1:33:53
# Sparkle and shine Let's all make a dazzling sound	1:33:53	1:33:58
# Here's something you won't believe	1:33:58	1:34:01
# It's the first time ever Christmas	1:34:01	1:34:03
# Sparkle and shine Planets gather round	1:34:03	1:34:09
# Sparkle and shine	1:34:09	1:34:11
# Let's all make a dazzling sound	1:34:11	1:34:14
# Here's something you won't believe	1:34:14	1:34:17
# It's the first time ever Christmas Eve. #	1:34:17	1:34:22
'And, from that night, me and Jennifer	1:34:22	1:34:24
'fell in love with each other, and Christmas, all over again.	1:34:24	1:34:29
'And as for our Nativities, they just kept getting better.'	1:34:29	1:34:33
Don't mind being a shepherd or a stage manager.	1:34:35	1:34:39
I always wanted to be Mary in the whole of my life.	1:34:43	1:34:48
I would like to be Angel Gabriel.	1:34:48	1:34:50
HE GURGLES	1:34:50	1:34:52
I wouldn't mind being a donkey.	1:34:55	1:34:57
TRUMPING NOISES	1:34:57	1:34:58
Actually, I'd quite like to be the star.	1:34:58	1:35:00
-SHE BURPS -Bah humbug!	1:35:00	1:35:02
You might not like this, but you might do.	1:35:11	1:35:14
It's dancing.	1:35:14	1:35:16
# One night	1:35:16	1:35:18
# One moment and everything's changed	1:35:18	1:35:22
# One night, one moment	1:35:22	1:35:25
# One night, one moment	1:35:25	1:35:29
# One night, one moment	1:35:29	1:35:31
# And everything's changed	1:35:31	1:35:34
# One night, one moment	1:35:34	1:35:36
# Tonight is so pure and so special	1:35:38	1:35:43
# We'll never feel lonely again	1:35:43	1:35:49
# Cos we are standing together	1:35:49	1:35:55
# As friends	1:35:55	1:35:58
# Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh ooh	1:35:58	1:36:01
# And everything's changing for ever	1:36:01	1:36:06
# One night	1:36:07	1:36:10
# One moment... #	1:36:11	1:36:20
Why do you want to play an innkeeper?	1:36:20	1:36:22
Because I'd love to, because he swears all day.	1:36:22	1:36:25
# Silent night	1:36:35	1:36:38
# Holy night	1:36:39	1:36:42
# All is calm	1:36:43	1:36:46
# All is bright	1:36:46	1:36:50
# Round yon Virgin Mother and Child	1:36:50	1:36:57
# Holy Infant so tender and mild	1:36:57	1:37:04
# Sleep in heavenly peace	1:37:05	1:37:13
# Sleep in heavenly peace	1:37:13	1:37:18
# Silent night	1:37:24	1:37:28
# Holy night	1:37:28	1:37:32
# Shepherds quake at the sight	1:37:32	1:37:39
# Glories stream from heaven afar	1:37:39	1:37:47
# Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia	1:37:47	1:37:55
# Christ the Saviour is born	1:37:55	1:38:02
# Christ the Saviour is born	1:38:02	1:38:08
# Jesus, Lord, at thy birth	1:38:13	1:38:18
# Jesus, Lord	1:38:21	1:38:25
# At thy...	1:38:25	1:38:29
# Birth. #	1:38:29	1:38:37

Nativity!

Similar Content

Entertainment & Comedy

Films

Transcript

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS