Who Framed Roger Rabbit

CARTOON MUSIC

GURGLES

Mommy's going to the beauty parlour.

I'm leaving you Roger.

He'll take very good care of you.

If he doesn't, he's going

back to the science lab!

P-P-P-Please.

Don't worry. Whatever you say.

Yes, ma'am. Aye-aye, sir.

I'll take care of him like he was my brother.

Or my sister. Ow!

Or my brother's sister. Or second cousin's...

Cookie.

My ninth cousin nine times removed from outside.

Urgh!

Cookie.

Or my 17th cousin who is 156 times removed from any side.

SMASH!

Argh!

I'll save you, Baby!

Cookie.

Don't burn yourself, Baby Herman.

Woah!

Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

Woah!

Wooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

CLUNK!

Who turned out the lights?

It's dark in here!

What happened? I'll find you, Baby!

Cookie.

Ah!

Oh!

Boogooboo.

I'm on fire!

Ooh! Ooh! Ow!

Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!

Aaaaarrrrrrgghhhhhhh!

Waaaaaahhhhhhhh!

Aaaarrrrggghhh!

CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!

GLUG, GLUG, GLUG, GLUG

Cookie.

WHISTLE

Yah!

Cookie.

I'm here, Baby!

Aaaaarrrrrggggggghhhhhh!

Mmm! Mmmm! Mmmmmmm!

Mmmmmmmmmmmm! Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Cookie.

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

Bl-l-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!

BEEP!

Cookie. Ahh.

TWEETING

Cut!

That's the shot!

Cut! Cut! Cut!

-ROUGH VOICE:

-What was wrong?!

Nothing with you, Baby Herman. You were perfect.

Roger blew his lines.

Roger, what's this?

A tweeting bird.

Roger, read the script!

It says "Rabbit gets clunked. Rabbit sees stars." Not birds! Stars!

Lose the playback!

You're killing me!

For crying out loud! How many times do we have to do it?!

Raoul, I'm going to take a nap!

Excuse me, toots.

My stomach can't take this.

Clean this set up!

Get him out! Lose the lights!

Say lunch. That's lunch. We're on a half.

I can give you stars! Drop the refrigerator on me!

I dropped it on you 23 times!

I can take it. Don't worry!

I'm worried about the refrigerator.

I can give you stars.

Look! Look! Look!

Toons!

Mr Maroon,

Mr Valiant's here.

He'll be right with you.

No! No! No!

Hit him with the boulder after he gets up!

How much do you know about show business, Mr Valiant?

There's no business like it. No business I know.

It's expensive. I'm 25 grand over on the new Baby Herman cartoon.

The rabbit can't concentrate. You know why?

Refrigerators dropped on his head?

He's a toon. You can drop anything on him.

But break his heart, he goes to pieces. Read that.

"Seen cooing over a calamari

"with a sugar daddy was Jessica Rabbit, wife of cartoon star Roger."

What's it to do with me?

You're the private detective.

I don't have time.

His wife's poison, but he thinks she's Betty Crocker.

I want you to follow her. Get some nice juicy pictures

I can wise the rabbit up with.

I don't work Toontown.

Why? Every Joe loves Toontown.

Get Joe to do the job. I ain't.

Whoa! You don't wanna go to Toontown, you don't have to.

Nobody said you had to go to Toontown.

Have a seat.

The rabbit's wife sings at the Ink and Paint Club.

Toon revue. Strictly humans only, OK?

So what do you think,

Valiant?

Well?

It'll cost you 100 bucks.

100 bucks?! That's ridiculous!

So's the job!

All right. You got your 100 bucks.

Have a drink, Eddie.

I don't mind if I do.

< Careful!

< You're gonna drop it!

< I'm not gonna drop it!

Oh, no!

THEY PLAY "Stars And Stripes Forever"

Kinda jumpy, aren't you, Valiant?

It's just Dumbo.

I know who it is.

I got him on loan from Disney, and half the cast of Fantasia.

The best part is

they work for peanuts.

Well, I don't work for peanuts.

Where's the other 50?

Let's call the other 50 a carrot to finish the job.

You been hanging around rabbits too long.

Hmph!

CROAK!

MUSIC: "THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE"

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh, excuse me.

MOOING

What am I, a bank?

Wait for me!

Guys, wait up!

Hurry up!

Ain't you got a car?

LA's got the best public transport system in the world.

See you later!

Thanks for the cigarettes.

Hi, Harry.

Eddie, how's it going?

What you got for me?

The usual bills.

Hi, Harry. You OK?

What's with Earl?

Laid off?

A company called Cloverleaf bought the Red Car.

They bought the Red Car?

Put him on two weeks' notice. Cutbacks, they said.

Oh, well, Earl.

Here's to the pencil pushers.

May they all get lead poisoning.

Tomorrow's Friday. You know what happens on Friday?

Fish special?

My boss checks the books.

I need the money I gave you or I'll

lose my job.

Don't bust a button, Dolores.

Fifty bucks?

Where's the rest?

It's only a snoop job away.

Have you got a camera?

Mine's in the shop.

The pawn shop, by any chance?

Come on, Dolores.

To get the 50, I need a camera.

Any film in there?

Should be.

It's the film from our trip to Catalina.

Sure was a long time ago.

It was a long time ago. We should do it again sometime.

Yeah, sure, Eddie.

Is that paper even good?

Check the scrawl.

"RK Maroon." As in Maroon Cartoons?

Maroon Cartoons?

Hey! So who's your client, Mr Detective to the Stars?

Chilly Willy?

Or Screwy Squirrel?

What do you want to drink?

A beer, doll.

What happened? Somebody kidnap Dinky Doodle?

Cut it out, Angelo.

I know. You're working for Little Bo Peep - gonna find her sheep.

LAUGHS

Get this straight, meatball.

I don't work for toons!

What's his problem?

A toon killed his brother.

Huh?

Dropped a piano on his head.

Got the password?

Walt sent me.

Nice monkey suit.

Wise ass!

Look at that!

DAFFY PLAYS WRONG NOTES

Cut it out!

Does anybody understand what he's saying?

He loves the music.

I've worked with a lot

of wise quackers but you are dethpicable!

Doggone stubborn nitwit.

Thith ith the latht time I work with thomeone

with a thpeech impediment.

Thith meanth war!

You think that's funny?

It's a panic.

I'll stick that pen up your nose.

Calm down. The stain's gone. It's disappearing ink.

No hard feelings? Look. I'm...

I know who you are.

Mervin Acme, you own Toontown. The gag king.

"If it's Acme, it's a gasser." Put it there.

BUZZ!

The hand buzzer.

Still our biggest seller.

Scotch on the rocks.

And I mean ice!

DAFFY QUACKS >

This is hot stuff!

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Those ducks are funny. They never get to finish the act.

Great(!)

Thanks.

Toons.

< Cigars, cigarettes?

Eddie Valiant.

Betty?

Long time, no see.

Why are you here?

Work's been slow since cartoons went to colour.

But I still got it. # Boop boop de-boop, boop! #

Yeah, you still got it.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

WHISTLING

What's with him?

He never misses Jessica's performance.

Got a thing for rabbits, huh?

# You had plenty money

# In 1922

# You let

# Other women make

# A fool of you

# Why don't you do right

# Like some other men do?

# Get out of here... #

She's married to Roger Rabbit?

Yeah.

What a lucky girl.

# Now if you had prepared

# Twenty years ago

# You wouldn't be wandering now

# From door to door

# Why don't you do right

# Like some other men do?

# Get out of here

# Get me some money, too

# Get out of here

# Get me some money, too

# Why don't you do right

# Like some other men

# Do-o-o-o-o-o. #

APPLAUSE

Who is it?

Jessica, dear, have no fear. Your Marvin is here.

You murdered them tonight.

I really mean it.

You were superb.

You absolutely, truly and honestly fashmoyled that audience.

You killed them. You slayed them.

GROWLS

What are you doing, chump?

Don't call me a chump, chimp.

GROWLS

Argh!

Don't let me catch your peeping face around here again.

Oooga-booga!

Come over here, Jessica.

I've got everything arranged. Right here, on the bed.

Oh, not tonight, Marvin. I have a headache.

Jessica, you promised.

All right.

But this time, take off that hand buzzer.

-Pattycake.

-Ohhh!

-Pattycake.

-Oh!

-Pattycake.

-Oohhhh!

-Pattycake. Pattycake.

-Ohh! Ohh!

Pattycake!

Ohhh!

Pattycake! Pattycake!

You gotta be kidding me.

-HE CRIES

-Pattycake! Pattycake!

I don't believe it.

Pattycake. Pattycake.

Is that true?

You're not the first man whose wife played pattycake.

I just don't believe it. I won't believe it.

I can't believe it. I shan't believe it.

Believe it, kid.

I took the pictures. She played pattycake.

Not my Jessica! Not pattycake!

This is impossible.

It's impossible. It can't be.

Jessica's my wife.

It's absolutely impossible!

She's the light of my life, apple of my eye, cream in my coffee.

Drink it black. Acme's got the cream.

He's been my friend for 30 years.

Who would've thought he was a sugar daddy?

Somebody made her do it.

Drink this, son. You'll feel better.

Yike! Yargh!

Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!

Wah!

WHISTLE

Thanks. I needed that.

Son of a bitch.

Look, Mr Maroon...

..I think my work is finished.

How about that carrot you owe me?

A deal's a deal.

Thanks.

Roger,

I know all this seems pretty painful now,

but you'll find someone new.

Won't he, Mr Valiant?

Good-looking guy like that. Dames'll be breaking his door down.

Dames? Jessica's the only one for me!

We'll rise above this peccadillo. We'll be happy again.

Capital H-A-P-P-I!

At least he took it well.

HE SOBS

Oh, Jessica.

Please tell me it's not true.

P-P-P-P-Please.

FOOTSTEPS

Lieutenant Santino.

Where'd you come from?

Eddie, if you needed money so bad, why didn't you come to me?

I took a few dirty pictures. So kill me.

I already got a stiff on my hands, thanks.

Marvin Acme.

The rabbit cacked him last night.

What?

LAUGHTER

Now what?

I haven't been this close to Toontown for a while.

Argh!

Oof! Ow! My biscuits are burning.

Fire in the hatch!

Great horny toads, that smarts!

Ahhh!

Come on, Eddie. Let's get this over with.

He's with me.

Just like a toon to drop a safe on a guy's head.

Sorry, Eddie.

You'd better wait here, all right?

Chisold, get a load of this.

You seen one of these?

THEY LAUGH

Guys?

Didn't you used to be Eddie Valiant?

Or did you change your name to Jack Daniels?

LAUGHS

What's that?

Paint from the rabbit's glove.

Mr Valiant?

I hope you're proud of yourself,

and those pictures you took.

Grab those loafers!

SQUEAKING

Ow!

Is this man removing evidence from the crime scene?

Judge Doom, Valiant was picking it up for you.

Weren't you, Eddie?

Hand it over.

BUZZ!

His number one seller.

Working for a toon has rubbed off on you.

I was working for RK Maroon, not a toon.

He said the rabbit became agitated when you showed him the pictures.

The rabbit said somehow he and his wife would be happy. Is that true?

Do I look like a stenographer?

Shut up, Eddie. He's a judge.

That's OK. From the smell of him, I'd say it was the booze talking.

The rabbit won't get far.

My men will find him.

SIREN WAILS

Weasels?

I find they have a special gift for the work.

All right, you mugs. Fall out.

Did you find the rabbit?

Don't worry, Judge.

We got deformants all over the city.

We'll find him.

Do you know where the rabbit is, Mr Valiant?

Have you tried Walla Walla?

Cucamonga? Kokomo's very nice this time of year.

I'm surprised you won't cooperate.

A toon murdered a human. Don't you appreciate the magnitude of that?

SQUEAKS

Since Toontown's been under my jurisdiction,

my goal has been to rein in the insanity.

The only way to do that is to make toons respect the law.

SQUEAKS

How did that gargoyle get to be a judge?

Spread simoleons around Toontown. Bought the election.

What's that?

Remember how we thought you couldn't kill a toon?

Doom found a way. Turpentine, acetone,

benzene. He calls it The Dip.

I'll catch the rabbit, Mr Valiant.

Then I'll try him, convict him

and execute him.

SQUEAKING

Geez!

WEASELS LAUGH

-WEASEL:

-That's one dead shoe, eh, boss?

They're not kid gloves, Mr Valiant.

This is how we handle things in Toontown.

You, of all people, should appreciate that.

Hey! Hey!

Wait!

I want him to quit, but he won't listen.

What do you know? You got the IQ of a rattle.

You Valiant?

It's about the Acme murder.

Doll, run downstairs and get me a racing form.

Oh!

OK. I'm going.

A lady's man, huh?

I got a 50-year-old lust and a three-year-old dinkie.

Must be tough.

The rabbit didn't kill Acme.

He's no murderer. I know.

He's a dear friend. It stinks like yesterday's diapers.

Look. The papers said Acme

left no will. Succotash. Every toon knows Acme had a will -

leaving Toontown to us toons.

That is why he got bumped off.

Has anybody seen the will?

No, but he gave us his solemn oath.

If you believe that joker could be solemn, the gag's on you.

I figured since you got my pal in trouble,

you'd help get him out.

I can pay you.

Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes!

Valiant!

My stogie!

Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

Waah!

Waaaaaahhhhhh!

Waaahhh!

It ain't my fault the rabbit got himself in trouble.

All I did was take a couple of lousy pictures.

Baby was right.

The hell with it.

Argh!

Argh!

How did you get in here?

Through the mail slot. I waited inside, cos I'm wanted for murder.

No kidding. I could get a rap for aiding and abetting.

Does anyone know you're here?

Nobody. Not a soul. Except...

Who?

I asked the newsboy where your office was.

He didn't know. I asked the fireman, the butcher, the baker.

The liquor store guy knew.

The whole town knows you're here.

Take it easy, will you?

Don't throw me out. You're making a mistake.

I didn't kill anybody.

It's a set-up. A scam. A frame-job. Eddie,

I could never hurt anybody. My purpose

..in life...

..is to make people...

..laugh.

OK. Sure, I admit it.

I got steamed when you showed me those pictures.

I rushed over to the Ink and Paint Club

but she wasn't there, so I wrote her a love letter.

Wait a minute.

In a fit of jealousy, you wrote your wife a love letter?

Yes. She was just an innocent victim of circumstance.

Was it the lipstick on the mirror routine?

Lipstick, yes. Mirror, no.

I found a nice clean piece of paper.

"Dear Jessica, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways."

1, 1,000.

2, 1,000.

3, 1,000...

Why didn't you leave it there?

Obviously,

a poem of this power and sensitivity

must be read in person.

So I went home to wait for her.

But the weasels were waiting for me, so...so, I ran.

Why come to me? I took the pictures of your wife.

You're also the guy who helped all these toons.

If a toon's in trouble, there's one place to go.

Valiant and Valiant.

Not any more.

Get out of that chair!

That's my brother's.

Where is he?

He looks like a sensitive and sober fellow.

That's it. I'm calling the cops.

Go ahead. Call the cops.

I come here for help and you turn me in.

No, no. Don't feel guilty about me.

So long and

thanks for nothing.

That's the closet,

stupe!

Eddie Valiant,

you're under arrest. Bl-bl-bl!

Get out of there!

Idiot! I got no keys for these cuffs!

SIREN WAILS

Come on! Get the lead out. Move it, would ya?

Yargh! It's the Toon Patrol!

Hide me, Eddie! P-P-Please!

Remember, you never saw me.

Get out of there!

Don't let 'em find me.

Come on, Eddie. You're my only hope.

KNOCKS

Open up in the name of the law.

Eddie, you know there's

no justice for toons any more.

If the weasels get their hands on me,

I'm as good as dipped.

Don't make us play rough. >

We just want the rabbit.

What are we gonna do, Eddie?

What are we gonna do?

What's all this "we" stuff? They want you.

MACHINE-GUN SHOTS

Looks like they gave us the slip, boss.

Nah. Valiant's stashed him somewhere.

Hold it right there!

Hello, boys.

I didn't hear you come in.

OK, wise guy,

where's the rabbit?

Haven't seen him.

-SNIFFS:

-What's in there?

My lingerie.

I see, Valiant.

Search the place,

boys. Leave no stone unturned.

We got a reliable tip-off the rabbit

was here. It was corrugated by others.

So cut the bullshtick!

Keep talking like that and I'll have to wash your mouth out!

LAUGHS

THEY LAUGH

Stop that laughing!

Stop that laughing!

You know what happens when you can't

stop laughing!

One of these days, you'll die laughing.

As for you, Valiant,

step out of line and we'll hang you

and your laundry out to dry.

IT LAUGHS

Come on, boys. Let's am-scray.

They're gone.

Jeepers, that was swell.

You saved my life. How can I ever repay you?

For starters,

don't ever kiss me again!

MUFFLED SHOUTS

Stop kicking me. Stop kicking me.

Dolores! Dolores!

DOLORES!

Eddie, you made the front page.

Yeah, I made some ink.

And what ink.

Come on, Eddie. Let's just go.

Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Cut the comedy, Dolores. I've had a very hard day.

I gotta get out of these cuffs.

Oh, swell.

Phew!

Jeepers, Eddie. That almost killed me.

Is this some kind of secret room?

The Rot Gut Room, from Prohibition days.

A speakeasy. A gin mill. A hooch parlour.

Tools are up here.

Look at this. A spy hole!

This'll be a great place to hide.

Crazy toons.

Watch your head.

You said you'd never take another toon case.

Somebody made a patsy out of me and I'm gonna find out why.

Hold still, will you?

Does this help?

Yeah. Thanks.

You could have taken your hand out at anytime?

Not anytime. Only when it was funny.

Get out of here!

Where's your sense of humour?

Is he always funny when he's wanted for murder?

If you don't have a sense of humour, you're better off dead.

You may get your wish unless I can find this.

What is it, Eddie?

Just look.

Mr Acme's will.

Yeah.

Maroon played sound mind and your wife the sound body.

I resent that innuendo.

What's the plan?

They didn't get the will.

How do you know?

They're still looking for it.

Anything I can do?

Go downtown and check the probate.

Check the probate.

Uncle Thumper had a problem with his probate, he took pills

and drank lots of water.

Not prostate, you idiot. Probate!

You think my boss, RK Maroon, dropped a safe on Marvin Acme's head

so he could get his hands on Toontown?

Yep.

That's my hunch.

Can he stay here for a couple of days?

He's not gonna do anything crazy, is he?

HE HUMS

Woohoo!

Where are you going?

Back to the office.

Mr Valiant?

Mr Valiant?

TOILET FLUSHES

You've got the wrong idea about me, Mr Valiant.

I'm a pawn in this, like Roger.

Can you help me find him?

Just name your price and I'll pay it.

Yeah, I bet you would.

You need the rabbit to make the scam work.

No. I love my husband. You've got me all wrong.

You don't know how hard it is being a woman

looking the way I do.

Well...

you don't know how hard it is being a man

looking at a woman looking the way you do.

I'm not bad.

I'm just drawn that way.

Weren't you the one I caught

playing pattycake with Acme?

You didn't catch me. You were set up.

What do you mean?

Maroon wanted to blackmail Acme.

I didn't want to do it.

He said if I didn't pose for the pictures,

Roger would never work again. I couldn't let that happen.

I would do anything for Roger.

Anything.

What a wife.

I'm desperate. Can't you see I need you?

CLEARS THROAT

Dabbling in watercolours?

Oh.

Sorry.

Goodbye, Eddie. My offer stands firm.

Think about it.

Well!

What was she doing with her arms around you?

Looking for a good place to stick a knife.

I caught you with your pants down!

Yeah, well... Dolores, come...

You don't believe a painted hussy could turn my head.

She just wants the rabbit.

That's not all she wants.

Now, look, Dolores, listen.

Listen. I want you to buy yourself a new swimsuit.

We're going to Catalina. I'm wrapping up this case.

No, you're not. That's why I'm here.

I stopped by probate. Maroon's

not after Toontown.

Cloverleaf wants Toontown.

They put in the highest bid. Unless Acme's will turns up by midnight,

Cloverleaf is going to own Toontown.

What? At midnight tonight?

That's right.

First they buy the Red Car, then they want Toontown.

I don't get it.

Ssh!

But can he do this? >

Roger.

The rabbit. Get the judge.

# Don't sit there on your brain... #

Nice shirt. Who's your tailor? Quasimodo?

# My buddy's Eddie V, A sourpuss, you see

# When I'm done he'll need no gun Cos a joker he will be, C, D

# E, F, G, H, I, I

# I love to raise some Cain

# It's no strain It feels great to smash a plate

# And look, there is no pain, No pain

# No pain, no pain

# No pain

# No pain. #

Argh!

Who turned out the lights?

I can't see. What's going on?

You crazy rabbit.

I've been risking my neck for you, and you're singing and dancing.

But I'm a toon.

Toons make people laugh.

Sit down!

You don't understand. They needed to laugh.

They'll call the cops. Angelo would rat on you for a nickel.

He'd never turn me in.

Why? Because you made him laugh?

That's right. A laugh can be a very powerful thing.

Sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have. Laughter...

Ssh!

Ix-nay. Ix-nay!

I'm looking for a murderer.

LAUGHTER

A rabbit.

A toon rabbit.

About...

yea...

big.

There's no rabbit here. So don't harass my customers.

I didn't come here to harass.

I came here to reward.

LOUD SQUEAKS

HE WHISTLES

Hey!

I've seen a rabbit.

Where?

You see?

Where?

He's here in the bar.

Say hello, Harvey.

I told you so.

"The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down."

Quite a loony selection for a group of drunken

reprobates.

He's here!

LAUGHS

Stop that laughing.

Remember what happened last time?!

If you don't stop laughing,

you'll end up dead like your hyena cousins.

Boss, you want us to

disresemble the place?

No, Sergeant.

Disassembling the place won't be necessary.

The rabbit is going to come right to me.

No toon

can resist the old shave-and-a-haircut trick.

TAPS SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT

I don't know who's toonier, you or Doom.

Roger.

Roger. Roger.

Roger, no!

Shave and a haircut.

Two bits!

Hey,

Judge, what shall we do with the wallflower?

We'll see to him later.

Right now, I feel like dispensing some justice.

Bring me some dip!

Argh!

SHIVERS

Does the condemned wish to speak before his sentence is carried out?

Yeah...

Dolores, bourbon, and make it a double.

Fine time to drink. Would you like some pretzels?

Just pour the drink.

Hey, Judge!

Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request?

Nose plugs'd be nice.

I think you want a drink.

How about it, Judge?

Why not? I don't mind prolonging the execution.

Happy trails.

No, thanks. I'm trying to cut down.

Drink it!

-No.

-He doesn't want it.

You do.

I don't.

-Do!

-Don't.

-You don't.

-I do.

-You don't.

-I do.

-You don't.

-Listen,

when I say I do, I do.

LOUD WHISTLE

Got you.

Come on, Eddie,

let's get out of here!

Move it! Yikes!

That was quick thinking, Eddie.

That was using the old spine flower.

Roger!

Let's use this!

Go! Why are you waiting?

There's no key.

Weasels, let me out of here! I gotta make a living

Benny, is that you?

No, it's Eleanor Roosevelt.

Roger, get me out of here!

Eddie, we got ourselves a ride.

Open the doors!

That's better! They locked me up for driving on a sidewalk.

Eddie, get in!

It was just a few miles.

I'll drive.

I wanna drive.

I'll drive!

I'm the cab. Outta my way, pencil neck!

How about this weather, huh?

It never rains!

They sprung the cab! Let's go!

Those Brooklyn Dodgers - are they bums or what?

Move over. I'm driving!

SIREN WAILS

Benny, we got company!

Look at these. Excuse me.

That's what I call road hogs!

I'm gonna blow his head off!

Watch the Red Car!

Argh!

Aaaarrrggghhh!

Benny, there's cops right behind us!

Not for long, Roger.

Now they're right in front of us.

Eddie, turn us around!

Give me the wheel!

They're on our tail!

I know they are. Do you think I'm...

Argh!

Pull the lever!

Which one?!

Which one!

I'm gonna ram 'em.

I'm getting too old for this!

Jeepers!

What's the middle of a song called?

A bridge!

Where can I drop you?

Somewhere we can hide.

I know just the place.

If you ever need a ride, just stick out your thumb.

Share the road, will ya, lady?!

'Ah. Now that wasn't so bad, was it?'

LAUGHTER

ROGER LAUGHS

Did you see that? Nobody takes a wallop like Goofy.

What timing. What finesse. What a genius.

Ouch!

We're supposed to be hiding.

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

You're the only one not laughing.

Can nothing permeate your impervious puss?

Eddie? Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!

Boy, nothing.

What happened to you to turn you into a sourpuss?

You wanna know?

I'll tell you. A toon killed my brother.

A toon? No.

That's right. A toon.

We were investigating a robbery at the Bank of Toontown.

Back then, me and Teddy liked working Toontown. It was a laugh.

Anyway,

this guy

got away with a zillion simoleons.

We trailed him to a little dive on Yockster Street.

We went in.

Only he got the drop on us.

Literally.

Dropped a piano on us from fifteen stories.

Broke my arm.

Teddy never made it.

I never did find out who that guy was.

All I remember was him standing over me, laughing,

with those burning red eyes

and that high, squeaky voice.

He disappeared into Toontown after that.

No wonder you hate me.

If a toon killed my brother,

I'd hate me, too.

Come on. Don't cry. I don't hate you.

Yes, you do.

No, I don't.

You do. Otherwise you wouldn't have yanked my ears.

I'm sorry I yanked your ears.

All the times you yanked my ears?

All the times I yanked your ears.

Apology accepted. Put her there, pal. I feel better.

Oh, boy!

I hope it's a cartoon. Jeepers!

Another stupid newsreel.

I hate the news.

Did you get all my stuff?

Yes. It's all packed up in the car outside.

I would've been here sooner, but I had to shake the weasels.

Yeah.

I'm sorry about the trouble in the bar.

Stuffing olives for a living wasn't for me, anyway.

Dolores?

You oughta find yourself a good man.

But I already have a good man.

Ohhhhhhh!

P-P-P-lease, don't mind me.

You better get going.

'This miss says it's as good as a smile.

'California Cloverleaf... '

I'm glad Teddy can't see me running away with my tail between my legs.

It's OK, once you get used to it.

'..the Pacific Red Car Trolley Line and Maroon Cartoon Studios.

'RK Maroon is seen clinching the deal with Cloverleaf.

'One of the biggest real estate deals in California history.'

That's it! That's the connection.

Forget it.

Nobody's here.

Are you scared?

Me scared? Don't be ridiculous.

TEETH CHATTER

You told Maroon you had the will, but you don't.

When he finds out, he'll be mad.

He might try to kill you.

I can handle a Hollywood cream puff.

I don't want the odds to change. Cover me.

If you hear or see anything, beep the horn twice.

That's it. Beep the horn twice. Cover him.

I'm ready. Dukes up. Eyes peeled. Ears to the ground.

Nobody gets the drop on Roger Rabbit.

What's up, doc?

I nearly had a heart attack.

You need a heart first.

You got the will?

Sure.

I got the will.

Do you have the way?

Because it ain't gonna come cheap.

You got brass, coming here by yourself.

Who said I'm by myself?

Let me see that will.

I got it.

I wanna see it now!

"How do I love thee?

"Let me count the ways."

Is this a joke?

No, this is.

Get up.

What will you do to me, Valiant?

I'm gonna listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario.

The story of greed, sex and murder.

And the parts that I don't like,

I'm going to edit out.

You're wrong. I'm a cartoon maker,

not a murderer!

Everyone has a hobby.

Stop it! Stop it!

I could've sold my studio.

Cloverleaf wouldn't buy unless Acme sold them his.

The bastard wouldn't sell.

I was gonna blackmail Acme with the pictures.

Blackmail, that's all. I've been around toons all my life.

I don't want to see 'em destroyed.

Destroyed? Why?

They'll kill me.

I'll kill you!

Unless Acme's will shows by midnight tonight,

Toontown will be land for the free ...

Roger!

SNORING

What in the Sam Hill?

Eddie Valiant. You're a sight for sore eyes.

I ain't seen you for five years.

Where you been?

Drunk.

Feeling frisky tonight, fellas?

Yeah!

Let's go.

CHEERING

Umm!

NATIVE AMERICAN YELL

# Smile, darn you, smile

# You know this old world

# Is a great world after all

# Smile, darn you, smile

# And right away watch Lady Luck Pay you a call

# Things are never quite as black As they are painted

# Time for you and joy To get acquainted

Hi, Eddie.

Hi, Eddie.

Hi, Eddie.

Bye, Eddie.

BANG!

SIREN WAILS

Tally ho!

Tally ho!

SHOUTING

TWEETING

Get outta here!

Going up, sir?

Argh!

Mind the step, sir.

Hold on, sir.

Your floor, sir.

Have a good day, sir.

Gotcha.

A ma-an?!

Yoo-hoo! Lover boy!

It's Lena Hyena.

Argh!

Argh!

Aaaarrrrrggghhhh!

Oh, wook, piggies!

Hi, Tweetie.

This piggy went to market.

This piggy stayed at home.

This piggy had roast beef. And

this piggy had...

Argh!

Ran out of piggies.

Argh!

What's up, doc? Jumping without a parachute is kinda dangerous.

You could get killed.

You guys got a spare?

Bugs does.

I don't think you want it.

I do! Give it to me!

Better let him have it, Bugs.

OK, doc. Whatever you say.

Here's the spare.

Thank you.

Oh, no!

Argh!

Poor fella.

Ain't I a stinker?

Argh!

My man!

Urgh!

Come to Lena!

Ooh!

Toons. Gets them every time.

HE SNEEZES

Gesundheit.

Thank you.

Valiant!

I always knew I'd get it in Toontown.

Behind you!

Drop it, lady!

You don't trust me?

I don't trust anybody or anything.

Not even your own eyes?

That gun killed Maroon. Doom used it.

Doom?

I followed him, but I was too late to stop him.

Right! You'll never stop me!

You're both dead!

Doom!

Which way did he go?

I don't know! He went that-a-way!

Let's go!

Dumdums!

Come on.

Oh, no. Where's Roger?

He chickened out at the studio.

No. I hit him with a frying pan so he wouldn't get hurt.

Makes perfect sense.

My car won't get us anywhere.

Let's take yours.

I got a feeling somebody already did.

It looks like it was Roger.

He was never very good behind the wheel.

Better lover than a driver?

You better believe it.

The weasels! We'll take Gingerbread Lane.

Gingerbread Lane's this way.

So, Valiant, you call a cab or what?

Hubba, hubba!

Allow me, mademoiselle!

How long have you known it was Doom?

Before Acme was killed,

he told me Doom would stop at nothing to own Toontown.

He gave you the will?

Yes, but when I opened the envelope, the paper was blank.

A joker to the end.

Where to? My meter's running.

I must find Roger. I'm worried about him.

Seriously, what do you see in him?

He makes me laugh.

Aaaarrrrggggghhhhh!

Argh!

I've been dipped!

What an unfortunate accident.

Nothing worse than a slippery road

especially when driving in a toon vehicle.

Good work, boss.

Don't stand there, help them.

Put them in my car. I think they'll

enjoy the ribbon-cutting at the Acme factory.

We searched Valiant, boss. The will ain't on him.

Frisk the woman!

I'll handle this one.

Yargh!

Ow! Oh!

Nice booby trap.

Ow!

LAUGHTER

Do they have the will?

Just a stupid love letter.

I doubt if the will will show up in the next 15 minutes.

What happens then?

Toontown will be legally mine,

lock, stock and barrel.

TYRES SCREECH

Benny, is that you?

No, it's Shirley Temple.

Argh! Oh! Ee!

Jeepers! What happened?

Doom took your wife and Valiant to the Acme factory.

I know where that is. Get in.

Move over. You've done enough driving.

Toontown is on the other side of the wall, boss.

The successful conclusion of this case

draws the curtains on my career as a Toontown jurist.

I have a new role in the private sector.

With Cloverleaf Industries, by any chance?

I am the sole stockholder.

Go for the cops. I'll save my wife.

Careful with that gun. This ain't a cartoon.

This is no way to make a living.

Wouldn't you know? Locked.

TOILET FLUSHES

Can you guess what this is?

Oh, my...

God! It's DIP!

Yes. Enough to dip Toontown off the face of the earth!

A vehicle of my own design.

5,000 gallons of heated dip,

pumped at enormous velocity through a pressurised water cannon.

Toontown will be erased in a matter of minutes.

I suppose you think no-one

will notice Toontown has disappeared?

Who'll have time to think about talking mice

when driving by at 75 mph?

What do you mean?

There's no road past Toontown.

Not yet.

A couple of months ago, I stumbled upon a plan of the city council's.

A construction plan of epic proportions.

They are calling it a freeway.

A freeway?

What the hell is a freeway?

Eight lanes of

shimmering cement from here to Pasadena.

Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past.

You killed Acme and Maroon for this freeway?

I don't get it.

You lack vision.

But I see a place where people get on and off the freeway.

On and off! Off and on!

All day! All night!

Soon,

where Toontown once stood will be a string of gas stations,

cheap motels, restaurants that serve rapidly-prepared food,

tyre salons, automobile dealerships,

and wonderful, wonderful billboards

reaching as far as the eye can see.

My God!

It'll be beautiful.

Come on!

Nobody'll drive when they can take the Red Car for a nickel.

They'll drive.

They'll have to. You see, I bought the Red Car so I could dismantle it.

RUMBLING

What the...?

Aarrrgghh!

Argh!

OK. Nobody move.

Grab some sky or I let the judge have it.

Drop it!

Roger, darling!

I'd love to embrace you, but I have to satisfy my moral outrage.

Put that gun down, you buck-toothed fool!

Give me an excuse to shoot you.

You thought you'd get away with it.

Toons may act idiotic, but we want justice.

The meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks.

Roger!

Roger, say something.

Look, stars!

Ready when you are, Raoul.

Tie the lovebirds up.

Put them on that hook! Use that toon rope.

Time to kill the rabbit!

Roger, you were magnificent.

Was I really?

Better than Goofy.

Roger, I want you to know I love you.

I've loved you more than any woman's ever loved a rabbit.

It's over, Mr Valiant.

WEASELS LAUGH

Look out!

Not so fast.

One of these days,

you'll laugh yourselves to death.

Shall I repose of him now, boss?

Let him watch the toons get dipped, then shoot him.

With pleasure.

Everything's funny to you, ain't it?

You got a problem

with that, Valiant?

No. I just want you to know something about the guy you're

gonna dip!

MUSIC: "THE MERRY-GO-ROUND BROKE DOWN"

# Roger is his name Laughter is his game

# Untie his rope And watch him go insane... #

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

He's lost his mind.

I don't think so.

# This singing ain't my line

# It's tough to make a rhyme

# If I get stuck... I'm out of luck... #

I'm running out of time!

Thanks.

WEASELS LAUGH

Hey, Eddie, keep it up. You're killing 'em.

Slaying 'em. Knocking 'em dead.

# I'm done with taking falls Bouncing off the walls

# Without that gun I'd have some fun

# I'd kick you in the... #

Nose!

Nose? That don't rhyme with walls.

No, but this does.

Oh, no!

That was close.

Bye-bye!

It's coming back!

This is it!

This isn't it!

# Wicked witchcraft

# And although

# I know it's strictly taboo

# When you... #

Don't move.

No! No!

Oh, no!

Quit playing around!

P-P-Please!

I wasn't worried. You?

Aah! Aah!

Hey, look!

Holy smoke!

He's a toon!

Surprised?

Not really.

Only a toon could cook up that lame freeway idea.

Not just any toon!

Remember me, Eddie?!

-HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:

-When I killed your brother, I talked just like

this!

Jumping jeepers!

Oh, my goodness!

Argh!

Argh!

Goodbye!

Aaah!

I think

I'm gonna faint.

Argh!

No!

Argh!

Aaaarrrggghh!

I'm melting! Waaarrrgghhh!

Melting! Argh!

Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh!

I'm melting!

Melting!

Waaarrrggggghhhh!

Ohhhhhhh!

Eddie!

Do something!

Hurry up, Eddie!

Do something!

TRAIN WHISTLE

Eddie, there's dip everywhere!

How will we get down?

Jeepers!

That was a close shave. I thought our goose was cooked.

Oh!

My hero! Oh, honey bunny.

Oh, love cups!

Oh, Roger!

You were a pillar of strength.

SIRENS WAIL

Sister Mary Francis!

What happened here?

I've been a cab for 37 years!

I've never seen a mess like this.

Was that a mask?

Yeah.