Whisky Galore!

'North west of Scotland, on the broad expanse of the Atlantic

'lie the lovely islands of the Outer Hebrides -

'small patches of sand and rock rising out of the ocean.

'To the west there is nothing... except America.

'The inhabitants scrape a frugal living from the sea,

'and the low-lying hills of coarse grass

'and peat bog.

'A happy people, with few and simple pleasures.

'The little island of Todday is a completely isolated community

'a hundred miles from the mainland,

'and from any cinema or dancehall.

'Oh, but the islanders know how to enjoy themselves.

'They have all that they need.'

Slainte mhath.

'But in 1943, disaster overwhelmed this little island.

'Not famine, nor pestilence,

'nor Hitler's bombs, nor an invading army

'but something far...

'FAR worse.'

There is no whisky!

'Whisky - uisge-beatha.

'In Gaelic "the water of life."

'And, to a TRUE islander,

'life without it is not worth living.

'From that day, every man went into mourning.

'Mourning for a departed spirit...'

He went terrible quick at the end.

What was I to do?

With every bottle in the bar chock full of nothing.

ALL: Aye.

Will Winston Churchill be knowing the Government has run out of whisky?

I don't believe he will.

It is a pity he won't be saying something about it on the wireless.

Aye, it's a terrible war.

Do you remember the Sabbath the war started?

Nobody on the island could mind such a storm of rain.

It was a sign.

A sign of what was coming to us...

Water...

Just nothing but water.

Ah, well, I must be going.

ALL: Good night.

Good night, Mr Macroon.

I could have done with a dram. I've had a terrible shock.

-What was that?

-Ask George here.

What have you been doing to Joseph?

I...I asked Catriona to marry me.

< What did she say?

She said yes.

Got the mails ready?

Yes, father.

Sticklips and cigarettes!

Your mother would have had more sense.

You'll not have to worry about me much longer.

You're not married yet.

-Are you not going to the pier?

-Why would I?

-I thought your sergeant arrives today.

-MY sergeant? I don't know what you mean.

There! The tightest little island in the world.

You'll be finding a few changes, Sergeant. You've been away from us for some time.

2 years, 3 months.

Well, well, is it that long? In Africa, eh?

-That's right.

-Africa.

That is a place I have never been.

-Ah, they'll be glad to see you back.

-D'you think so?

-Aye, the Home Guard amusements are not the same without you.

-Them!

-I hear they've become a bit stale.

-Ech! That's Captain Waggett's nonsense.

Surely it's up to you, Constable, the long arm of the law?

You must INSIST Cpt MacKechnie takes the ammunition back. Doesn't he know there's a war on?

He says it is a Board of Trade regulation.

Dolly!

-What time is this cargo boat expected?

-Not at all, Mr Waggett!

-Yes, dear?

-I have to go to the pier.

-Is anything the matter, Paul?

Cpt MacKechnie refuses to take the ammunition back with the mails on board.

-But he always has the mails on board.

-Exactly.

THEY SIGH

I was not really expecting anything.

I just came down, in case...

-I'll get back to my boat, Joseph. You will be waiting for the mails.

-Aye.

Just a lot of letters for nothing.

Hi!

-How's yourself, Mr Macroon?

-None too well, Sergeant.

-Nothing wrong with the family, Peggy and Catriona?

-What would be wrong?

-They're fine. Both of them smoking away like chimneys.

-That's good.

One of them thinks she's going to marry.

-Peggy?

-I believe it will be.

What are you saying, Joseph?

'Tis Catriona is going to marry George.

-Aye, maybe.

-That's great news! Something like, that is.

I'm after telling you, Mr Waggett, I cannot accept explosives on this ship!

It is my duty to see I am in a state of full defence.

-How can I if my cartridges do NOT fit my rifles?

-That's a bit awkward.

It's more than awkward! This kind of thing led to the fall of France.

A rule is a rule, a regulation is a regulation.

-The ammunition ARRIVED on the Island Queen.

-But Cpt MacKechnie did not know they was explosives.

If I had, I would never have brought them.

I cannot get any 300 ammunition from Ordinance until this 303 gets back! I had a wire to say so.

-Yes? Oh, welcome back, Sergeant.

-Can I be of any help, sir?

-No.

Why not return the .300 rifles and keep the .303 ammunition?

They can send the .303 rifles...

-I'd rather have rifles and no ammunition than ammunition and no rifles.

-Sir?

-Can I suggest...?

-What?

-Why not leave it at Macroon's shop?

-Then query it with Headquarters.

-Yes. But not without a guard.

Now, er...finish your compositions.

And don't make too much noise.

Is-Is anything the matter, Mother?

To think that I should be hearing from others that my own SON is to be married.

George Campbell, is this true?

I-I only knew myself yesterday evening that...

-You mean you'd not been thinking of that girl till then?

-W-Well, I was thinking about her, yes...

Then WHY was I kept in the dark?

When I got back you were in bed...

-The bed I have made for myself, on which I must lie. This comes of spoiling you.

-Spoiling me?!

-Spare the rod...

-(You never did.)

-..and spoil the child.

I didn't want to upset you...

You KNEW it would upset me, but you think only of yourself!

You've always thought only of yourself. How many times as a child did I catch you in the blackcurrants

when you knew I wanted all the blackcurrants for my own jam?

Mother, if I bring Catriona to tea, will you be nice to her?

The day you bring Catriona Macroon into this house, I walk out!

I'll go to your Aunt Ida in Glasgow.

-But you hate Glasgow.

-What if I do?

The Lord chastiseth them that he loveth. Who am I to set myself up against the Lord?

PUPIL: ..they are not so nice as the people on Garryboo. They are stuck up.

The Island Queen is a beautiful boat,

but there was no whisky this week.

And when there is no whisky we are all very sad.

Come on, get a move on.

Every time they move the roadblock it takes longer. Why is that?

It IS pretty heavy going, you know, sir.

-All right, Sergeant, again.

-Once again, men! Move!

-It's very discouraging.

-Yes, sir.

-Just one point, sir.

-What's that?

If this is the only road on the island,

all Jerry will need to do is turn around and go the other way.

Yes. I wondered when you'd think of that.

You should have thought of that, Mr Campbell!

It's easy to put right with a couple more roadblocks.

-Put that in hand.

-Yes, sir.

They've become appallingly slack. When there was a chance of invasion they were keen enough.

Now the immediate danger has gone, their keenness has gone too.

Well, it's understandable, sir.

They don't do things for the sake of doing them, like the English.

WE play the game for the sake of the game. Other nations play the game for the sake of winning it.

I tried to introduce football on to the island.

I managed to get hold of a football and presented it to the school. I was the referee.

I had to give a foul against the Garryboo team - for a deliberate assault.

-What do you think happened?

-I don't know, sir.

Willie MacLennan deliberately dribbled the ball to the touchline

and kicked it into the sea.

HORN BEEPS

What on earth's this nonsense!?

-It is a roadblock, Doctor.

-Well, let me through.

-We cannot. Waggett says you are a German tank.

-What are you playing at?

-Playing? I'm not playing at anything.

-Then what's all this?

It's a Home Guard exercise.

-I've been up all night delivering twins. I want to get home. Let me through!

-Twins?

-Yes, two girls it was.

-Och, the poor soul. Two girls.

What a calamity! And himself away at sea.

Doctor Maclaren, I am responsible for the defence of this island and I find your attitude obstructive.

Obstructive!? Did I build this roadblock?

It...

Open the roadblock, Sergeant.

Right, men. Once again... Move!

Come on, come on. Get a move on.

Soldiers!

-It's a pity you cannot be staying longer.

-Do you think it's a pity?

They ALL think it's a pity.

Bit of luck being sent here. I was getting desperate.

I didn't think I'd see you until after the war.

I don't understand what you say. A pity you haven't the Gaelic.

It's plain enough what I'm saying, in any language.

Will you marry me, Peggy?

-What a thing to be asking, Sergeant Odd.

-Why not call me Fred?

People would be thinking me terribly ignorant to be calling you Fred.

You're so old.

I'm only 16 years older than you.

17.

So you've got it all worked out like a sum, eh?

I ought to be pleased you bothered.

-How many girls have you asked to marry you?

-I've never asked any.

-I made a point of not asking them.

-Just made love to them?

Which you can't say I've done to you.

Will you marry me?

-Och! It is a foolishness.

-Anybody else?

-Anybody else where?

-Anybody else wants to marry you?

If you want to be cheeky you must be cheeky in the Gaelic.

If I said it in Gaelic, you'd give me an answer?

Perhaps I would. But you cannot be saying it, can you?

Ah girl...

ackem orst...am poser me!

Learning the Gaelic just to take the eyes out of me. How deceitful!

Well, what about it?

SHE GIGGLES

If I'm not good enough to come to tea, I'm not good enough to marry you.

I'll not be taking you from your mother's apron. She doesn't know you're weaned!

It was a shock to her. She'd be the same about any girl.

If I'm just ANY girl to you, you'll be just any man to me!

-Let me explain...

-Your mother may treat you like a baby, but you'll not be treating ME like one!

SHIP'S FOGHORN

FOGHORN CONTINUES Do you hear that, Doctor?

Aye. It will be a ship out in the minch.

I heard it as I came up the road.

And how are you feeling today?

Och, I'm not feeling... anything at all.

Just bones...that's all.

-I've brought some tobacco.

-Thank you.

But my pipe has fell to pieces.

And not a pipe to be bought.

John MacCleod says he doesn't know when he'll be having another one.

Och, I don't believe the world has been in such a terrible mess since the Flood.

We can't have you giving up smoking too. Here's a pipe of mine.

I couldn't be...robbing you of your own pipe, Doctor. You're too kind altogether.

Doctor's orders. I've another one. >

Ah, well, it is yourself that is the doctor right enough.

I only wish I had a dram for you. >

Aye...I would like fine to have one really good dram...

before I join the old woman.

Isht, man. You've many years to live.

Ahh...I know better, Doctor.

But I mean no disrespect to you by that.

I'm looking at life just as I'm looking at my croft just now...

and seeing the fog coming creeping in from the sea

and covering it up, turning it into just nothing at all.

SHIP'S FOGHORN

It may clear, there is no telling.

Not before midnight, I'm thinking.

Aye. It is the Sabbath tomorrow. We'll be here till Monday.

SHIP'S FOGHORN BLARES

FOGHORN BLARES

-Isn't that the bell on the Skerrydoo?

-I don't hear a bell.

We must look out we don't get too near the islands.

I'm not going to put my ship on the Skerrydoo. We're nowhere near...

CRASH!

CREAKING, SHOUTING

I'll be sleeping on broken glass for a week...

Shhh... Listen. She's stopped.

That is queer, right enough.

COUGHING

-Is that you, Joseph?

-I've just been through to the coastguard hut.

They caught a glimpse of her a few hours ago.

-What size of a ship was she?

-4,000 ton.

I have a mind to go out to her.

-She will be needing a pilot.

-Can I come with you, Biffer?

-Aye.

-Is that wise?

-Biffer knows every rock in Todday by name.

It will be the feather in his cap if he puts them back on course.

And in his pocket!

< Ahoy!

AHO-O-OY !

Ahoy there! What island is this?

-The island of Todday.

-Where's that?

Och, they're ignorant, right enough.

-What is your ship?

-< SS Cabinet Minister.

She's a wreck. Can you lead us in?

I'll show you the way.

What was your cargo?

50,000 cases of whisky.

50,000 cases of...

MUSIC OVER SPEECH

-The crew's come ashore.

-They want to go to the mainland tonight.

Tonight? We can't be sailing tonight.

-But we can't go out while they're here.

-Can't you see that, Captain?

Aye. But it's still foggy.

Donald, we have known each other many years. Will you not take them away?

-If you fail us now, you'll not have a friend in Todday.

-The ship might sink.

With all that whisky!

Tell them to go aboard. We'll sail in half an hour.

Good man, Donald.

FOGHORN BLARES

CHURCH CLOCK STRIKES

-Twelve o'clock already. She may have gone down by now.

-Aye!

-Twelve o'clock!

-What of it?

It's the morning of the Sabbath.

The Sabbath.

The Sabbath. The Sabbath!

It's the Sabbath.

The Sabbath.

Well, what's the matter?

It is the Sabbath. We could not be breaking the Sabbath.

Well, stone the crows.

50,000 cases of whisky...

Ah well... We had better be getting to church.

-Extraordinary. Quite extraordinary.

-Is it, dear?

-The crew's deserted the ship. The salvage people won't touch it.

-Why, dear?

Too risky, if you please!

-Meanwhile, she's lying there unguarded.

-Should it be guarded?

She has a very valuable cargo on board. Anything might happen. You can't trust these people.

-It's Sunday, Paul. No-one on Todday would break the Sabbath.

-I know.

But the Sabbath ENDS at midnight.

No, Dolly. Only one thing for it.

The Home Guard must accept the responsibility.

Hello?

Hello.

Joseph Macroon's girls are impossible!

-Paul...

-Darling, I'm TRYING to telephone.

Would it be so terrible if the people got a few bottles?

I mean, if it's all going down to the bottom of the sea...

That's a very dangerous line of argument. People taking the law into their own hands - it's anarchy.

Yes, Paul.

Anarchy!

-'Who is that?'

-Oh!

Oh, it's YOU, Mr Waggett.

No, you CANNOT speak to George.

The telephone was not given to man for him to mock the Sabbath with it.

-But it might have been important.

-It can keep till the morning.

I do not approve of the use of that instrument on this day.

Mother, we must move with the times.

-What times will there be to MOVE with in eternity?

-You're being ridiculous.

-Don't you "ridiculous" me!

-Mother...

Go to your room, George Campbell. There'll be no church for you today!

That was a terrible long sermon the minister gave us.

Aye, and all about the Flood. I was nearly walking out to see if she was still afloat.

Ah, Joseph, the Sabbath's a long, long day, right enough.

Yes, Mr Waggett?

-CAPTAIN Waggett. I want to speak to George.

-He is in his bedroom.

-Not ill?

-He is locked in there with his Bible and some bread and cheese

and will not be let out till tomorrow morning.

-Preposterous!

-Have you heard of the fourth commandment?

-Of course I have!

-"Remember..."

-You needn't repeat it. I learned the commandments years ago.

Yet you lead my son away from righteousness.

Mrs Campbell, right now our troops are fighting in North Africa.

The Germans don't stop fighting on Sunday.

What the Germans do is on their own conscience.

And Todday is NOT in North Africa so you needn't bring the heathens into it!

I have been told there are cannibals in Africa, but no-one will make my son eat human flesh.

-No-one's asking him to eat human flesh.

-Not yet.

I INSIST on speaking to him.

You can go down on your knees and I'll not let you.

I shall certainly not do that!

Pah!

-Headquarters don't realise what I'm up against.

-No, dear.

What would my Colonel say if he knew my second-in-command

had been locked in his bedroom by his mother?

Hello, Sergeant.

-Mr Macroon, I haven't had a chance to have a word with you.

-No, no...

-It's about Peggy and me.

-Aye...

-We want to get married.

-Och, well.

Aye. Aye. Well...

I'm hoping you're going to say yes. So we can fix a date.

Marriage is serious. We better be talking about it in the morning.

I know it's a bit sudden, after me only being here a couple of days.

It's late, Sergeant, and it's a big subject to be talking about tonight.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Who can that be?

-Oh, good evening. I'm sorry to break in on you...

-Not at all, Mr Waggett.

Come in. You're welcome.

-Good evening, Sergeant.

-Sir.

-I wish I could offer you a dram. I've only lemonade.

-Very kind. Sergeant, it was you I came to see.

-Lemonade?

-Yes, thank you.

It's a bit of an emergency, Sergeant.

-Perhaps we could have a few words.

-Certainly.

-Thank you.

-You won't be taking lemonade?

-No...

-No, well.

-Well, slainge...you know.

-Aye, you've got the Gaelic fine.

I'll be leaving you to business.

This wreck is a heavy responsibility for me.

For you, sir? I don't see how it affects the Home Guard.

The wreck's right outside our beat.

-The cargo might be tampered with.

-I wouldn't be surprised.

-That's robbing the Revenue.

-I suppose it is, sir.

-But I don't think the Colonel will thank you for interfering.

-It's my duty to stop...looting.

I don't believe anyone can stop them.

You mean I can't trust my men?

I wouldn't trust a brigade of guards to look after that ship!

-Exactly! So it's up to you and me.

-You and me, sir?

Unfortunately, Mr Campbell is not available.

I intend to mount guard on that wreck. You will take the midnight watch.

-Very good, sir.

-Those are my orders.

-Sir.

Good night, Mr Macroon.

Good night, Mr Waggett.

Well, that's torn it.

HE TURNS RADIO ON

-Did you ever hear tell of a reiteach, Sergeant?

-A what?

It's an old custom in the Highlands.

When a man wants to marry he must ask the girl's father for a reiteach.

Everybody comes.

-You mean we ought to have one?

-Aye. And you'll always have a 7-gallon jar of...whisky.

Now look here, this is blackmail.

You can't have a wedding without a reiteach, nor a reiteach without the whisky.

But if you DO catch anyone, what will you do?

Catch any of them? I don't think anything will happen.

Once they know there's a guard... they won't try anything.

CLOCK STRIKES MIDNIGHT

-You know what to do?

-Aye.

Have you not got it wound up yet?

-Are the boats ready?

-Aye.

Take them round to Seal Bay and wait behind the headland.

Biffer will give us the all-clear signal from the cliff top.

I don't like it at all, at all.

-The sergeant's as nice a fellow as anyone could meet.

-Aye.

-Remember how he taught us to creep up behind your enemy.

-The Panther crawl.

-He's no enemy of ours!

-Any man who stands between us and the whisky is an enemy.

-Angus, take him round the feet.

-I'll do that.

-You take him round the neck, Biffer, while I pin his arms.

-Och, the poor soul.

Are you ready?

-I might hurt him round the neck. I'll take his arms.

-No. You will be letting go of him out of sympathy.

-Now!

-The Panther Crawl.

Come on!

What's all this!?

-Och, you gave us a surprise. We meant to come up behind you.

-It was us who meant to surprise YOU.

We were never going to hurt you.

Coming up behind me, eh? Lovely commandoes you'd make(!) Noisy as a couple of tanks.

We were doing the Panther Crawl, the way you showed us.

Not like that! On your toes, move on your toes, light and quiet.

Try again.

Och, no, we really didn't want to.

-You are too rough.

-Do it properly and I can't hurt you.

Come on, try again.

Take a firm grip.

Tighter!

See. Got me helpless.

He-e-ey!

Wait! Let's get George.

There's no time!

I'll not be a minute.

RATTLING AT WINDOW

(George, are you coming?)

(Where are you going?)

-(To the wreck.)

-(Oh, I can't.)

(Why not?)

Why don't you come down by the stairs?

Come on, men, get the hatches off! She'll be going down in a minute!

Come on, George!

Hurry!

Oh, well... Scots whahey!

Scots whahey what, dear?

Well...it's what they say here.

You know, like... Like, um...

"Long may your...something reek."

-Yes, yes! Hurry up there!

-Biffer, get going.

Biffer!

George! Biffer!

Biffer!

I can't wait!

< Hurry, she's going down!

Biffer!

Biffer!

SHIP CREAKS

Biffer! George!

SHIP CREAKS AND GROANS

Aye, aye... It is safe enough here.

We would just be drawing attention to ourselves if we took it further.

Let each man take what he needs. We'll come back for more later.

Captain Waggett! Is that you?

-Sergeant Odd, what are you doing here?

-I've been tied up here for the last four hours.

-This is monstrous! Who did it?

-I haven't a clue, sir.

Just after midnight, they came up behind me, the next thing I knew was...

I'll find out who did it.

EXCHANGE BUZZES

What number would you be wanting, please?

Oh, it's you, Mr Waggett. Are you keeping well, Mr Waggett?

Yes, Mr Waggett.

Top what?

Top priority?

I don't think there's anybody of that name on the island.

Oh, I see, Mr Waggett!

Obaig, six - six - six.

Colonel Lindsay-Wolsey.

He'll be in bed, surely.

I'll put you through just the same.

-It was still afloat at midnight.

-Yes, sir.

-Which means they got the whisky?

-Perhaps.

There's no doubt about it.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Colonel Lindsay-Wolsey?

This is Cpt Waggett, of Todday Home Guard with a serious report...

'Serious!? Do you know the time?'

I realise it's very early, but I thought you should know

that the steamship "Cabinet Minister", Blue Limpet line, was wrecked.

-'I'm not an Admiral!'

-I know, sir. I didn't suppose that you were.

But this ship, loaded with whisky, has just gone down.

-'Whisky?'

-Yes, sir, whisky.

-'Oh, that's different!'

-I have reason to believe that some of it was removed from the ship.

-'Well done! Get some for me.'

-To you, sir!?

-'You weren't going to exclude me?'

Sergeant Odd was on guard. He was brutally assaulted.

(No, please, darling.)

-'Serves him right!'

-Serves who right?

-'Is the silly fellow there?'

-Yes.

-He's here, sir.

-'Put him on the line.'

Sergeant, the Colonel wishes to speak to you.

Sergeant Odd here, sir.

-'What has this Waggett fellow been up to? Keep an eye on him.'

-Yes, sir.

I don't understand the military mind. Sometimes I wonder if the professional soldier is human.

Goodnight, sir.

-Did he say anything about you being assaulted?

-Yes, sir.

Made a point of it. Said it showed how well I trained them.

I don't wish to criticise my superior officer,

I find the Colonel's attitude extraordinary. Quite extraordinary!

Well, sir, I had suggested he might not like it.

-Was there anything more?

-No, no. You'd better go back and rest.

Thank you, sir. Goodnight, sir.

Goodnight, Mrs Waggett.

Hello. Hello?

Paul, you're not going to do any more about this whisky?

Surely you know once I start something, I finish it!

Snorvig, one - nine. Constable Macrae.

-Is there anyone you suspect?

-I suspect all of them, Dolly. ALL of them.

SINGING GAELIC 'MOUTH MUSIC'

'When the dawn rose on that memorable morning

'it found a changed island.

'A sea that sparkled more brightly than before,

'grass that seemed greener, whiter sands.

'Todday was hardly recognisable!'

I'll tell my mother today that I will marry when Peggy and the sergeant marry.

That is, if Catriona will have me.

-How many have you had, George?

-Four.

Four whiskies and the man's a giant.

I may have had too much to drink, I don't really know.

I've never had too much to drink in my life.

-How do you feel, George?

-Fine.

-Does your head spin?

-No.

You look steady enough on your pins.

But speaking as one with experience of these matters, beware of the reaction.

So we'll prime you with one more dram and bring you into the ring in peak condition.

-You'll not become a drinker if it's me you're going to marry.

-I may HAVE TO till we're married.

-So the sooner we marry, the better.

-What's come over you?

-Would you rather I havered on?

No, George, I don't believe I would.

You'll be home in half an hour.

That's about the right dose.

Wait a bit, Doctor. He may need your services.

That's a fine lad there. It's a well-known medical fact that some men are born two drinks below par.

It's not your fault. You're spoilt. I've let you have your own way!

Catriona and I are getting married next month!

If you don't like it you can go to... To Glasgow!

George Campbell! Satan himself is in you.

You come home drunken, debauched and shameless!

Bringing that wanton creature to my very door!

To think your father's son would...

WAIL OF BAGPIPES

-How are you keeping, Hector?

-Quite myself again.

That's fine.

-Would you be hearing about this whisky?

-They tell me some of it was saved.

-Aye.

I'm after making some enquiries.

Man - we get all sorts of unpleasantness in the police.

Aye, likely you will be.

Will I be filling your hot water bottle?

Just leave it. I'm fine and warm just now.

Well, well, I'll be going.

-Good afternoon, Hector.

-Good afternoon.

Are you SELLING the stuff?

I'm selling it, all right, but who is BUYING it?

-You can go to prison for this.

-To prison? What are you telling me?

This is my quota - four bottles.

First I've had in two months.

The Island Queen brought it this morning.

Oh... I beg your pardon.

Four bottles! When there's maybe 200 cases on the island.

200 cases! Constable Macrae hasn't found a single bottle.

Macrae? Tuh!

He's looked everywhere.

Around the beach at Seal Bay?

Seal Bay...

GENTLE SNORING

PEGGY: You're crazy, the lot of you.

-Bottles everywhere. The place is like a bar.

-That's all right!

What is this?

-Can I put some of it in here?

-Anywhere, as long as it's out of sight.

Obaig, six - six - six.

Will you hold on, please?

Mr Waggett. You're through to Colonel Lindsay-Wolsey.

Captain Waggett, sir. Officer commanding Todday Home Guard.

-I'm anxious to talk with you on Home Guard matters.

-'Not again!'

-No, no, no.

Not about the ship. It's about that ammunition I'm returning.

I suggest I catch the boat tomorrow and be with you the following day.

'If you must.'

Yes, well, I wanted to put you in the picture here.

Paul! All the way to Obaig just for a chat with the Colonel?

Oh, no. I'm not going anywhere near the Mainland.

-No! I'm going to the excise people at Nobast.

-But, why...?

Security.

He said he was off on the boat tomorrow.

-Where to?

-To Obaig to see the Colonel.

We can have our reiteach tomorrow. And Catriona's - a double reiteach.

LAUGHTER, CHATTER

DOCTOR SPEAKS IN GAELIC

LAUGHTER

Catriona.

Now, George. At one gulp, or Catriona will be wearing the breeches!

LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Well done, George!

I still think our best course would be to go straight to the cave.

The cave won't run away. I shall make a house-to-house search.

-The local constable has already done that.

-My men are experts.

-So are the Todday men at hiding whisky.

-We'll see.

-I suppose you know your own business.

-I do. After, you can drive me to the cave.

-If you insist.

-I do.

SKIRL OF BAGPIPES

Come on. Get a move on.

Hurry. Results depend on surprise. Move quickly.

Grant and MacWhittie, come with me.

I have a personal visit to pay.

You'll join us, won't you, Mr Waggett?

-You know Joseph Macroon?

-Yes.

-Of course, if it's at all awkward...

-Why should it be? I've done no more than my duty.

Then you'll join us. Report to me in Macroon's Post Office!

MUSIC OVER SPEECH

Who is it? The Post Office is closed.

-Could we speak to your father?

-He's in bed.

Oh, Mr Waggett, it's you.

I thought you were at Obaig.

Er...no.

I must ask you to wake your father.

-May we come in?

-Certainly.

Wait here. I'll wake him.

Here, will they not smell it?

Disinfectant.

Father. Father.

They're here, the four of them and Farquharson himself.

-You're sure they've had no warning?

-How could they?

Mmm.

FOOTSTEPS >

Mr Macroon.

Mr Farquharson, what brings you here at this time?

-It's a bit late, but between old friends...

-You're welcome.

I've not seen you since the Jamaica Maid sunk a year ago.

That's it. Now the Cabinet Minister has gone down.

Aye, too quick. Didn't last long.

We've heard that some of her cargo was removed.

What? Now, who'd be saying a thing like that?

CLINK!

CLINK! CLINK!

THEY ARGUE IN GAELIC

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hic!

Mm-mm.

I'm sorry to have disturbed you, Mr Macroon.

I'll call earlier next time.

Och, I didn't mind you coming late at all.

Goodnight.

Aye. Poor fellows. A dirty job.

A dirty job.

Aye...

You see, not a single bottle. I said you wouldn't find any.

Get back to the pier. I'll join you there. I'm afraid we'll be wasting our time.

-Aren't you going...?

-I'll speak to you privately, Mr Waggett.

-Oh.

We failed to find anything because they were ready for us.

I see no reason to tell them our next move. How far is this cave?

Driving carefully, as I always do, about 15 minutes.

-Where's your car?

-In my garage.

-He's not going to the pier.

-Do you think he knows of the cave?

-Waggett? No. How would he know?

-I told him to try Seal Bay.

ALL: What! What?

Why should I help you to ruin my business?

-Hurry! Hurry!

-Come on!

ENGINE FIRES

Sammy, take her across the machair. It will be quicker.

-That man Waggett!

-Prison, just for a bit of whisky.

Men! Sitting there doing nothing.

-Can you not do something to stop Waggett?

-How?

-Soldiers! Helpless as babies.

-I can see THEM stopping the Germans(!)

That stupid, stuffed-up sassenach playing at being a laird.

A tin-pot general with his Home Guard and his roadblocks.

Roadblocks, a fat lot of use!

Roadblocks!?

How on earth did that get there?

It's the fairies. They're very active in these parts.

-Who's next?

-Torquil Monroe.

-You'll be court-marshalled!

-You don't know my colonel, Doc!

This will take you the rest of the night, won't it?

We'll move it in a jiffy.

Not much use against the Germans, in that case.

My dear sir, if we were Germans, we'd be under fire from snipers.

GUNFIRE

Only blanks, a Home Guard issue. A childish attempt to frighten us.

REPEATED GUNFIRE

Come on, you two. Let's get this shifted.

It's a special exercise, Angus. Remember the fifth columnists...?

Mother, get my helmet. You were using it to feed the hens... Yes?

Don't let anyone pass the bridge without giving the password.

-'Angus, are you there? Hello?'

-What IS the password?

Och, it doesn't matter. Anything!

-Tell him the password's "whisky".

-The password's "whisky", Angus.

Halt!

Who is going there?

What are you doing here, MacCormac?

-Guarding the bridge, on Cpt Waggett's orders because the Germans have landed.

-Are you mad?

-No, no. I'm pretty wise.

-Then go back home.

I take orders only from Cpt Waggett.

-I am Cpt Waggett. Are you blind?

-I'm quite sober.

This is lunacy!

I-i-i-it's me! I-I-I-I...

I AM Captain Waggett.

How do I know you're Cpt Waggett? I think you're a fifth columnist.

I am needing the password.

Well, no password, no whisky.

Whisky! That's the very word.

Come on, Sammy. Get it wound up.

ENGINE FIRES

Shut the door, Joseph.

Here's Waggett! Come on!

Gone?

It's been very interesting, this military exercise(!)

Mr Farquharson!

They had a lorry.

They can't drive fast across the dunes with that load.

Get in the car!

-You couldn't drive a little faster?

-Yes, I can.

No petrol!

There they are!

ENGINE ROARS

We shall have to cut our way out.

PHONE RINGS

Hello. Yes?

It's for you.

Hello.

Yes, speaking.

Yes.

Indeed?

Most interesting.

I'll ask him.

What was it?

-They'd like to interview you at the customs in Obaig.

-Why?

-You sent two cases of ammunition to the mainland with a note to say you were responsible for them?

-Yes.

-One of them contained six bottles of whisky.

-Whisky!?

For export only.

Oh, but that's... That's impossible. Utterly impossible!

SHE LAUGHS

Dolly...?

'Whisky Galore!

'Even after our private store was exhausted,

'there were stocks of legitimate whisky.

'But the price went up... and up again.

'Until nobody on Todday could afford even a dram.

'So they all lived unhappily ever after.'

'Oh, except Sergeant Odd and his Peggy.

'For they were not whisky drinkers.

'And if that isn't a moral story, what is?'