Dan in Real Life

Line	From	To
OK.	0:01:21	0:01:22
Hey. Is this yours?	0:02:02	0:02:04
Dad.	0:02:04	0:02:05
Didn't think so.	0:02:05	0:02:07
MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY INSIDE	0:02:08	0:02:11
Hey.	0:02:19	0:02:21
Hey!	0:02:21	0:02:22
I was going to do that for you later.	0:02:22	0:02:24
Now you won't have to.	0:02:24	0:02:26
OK.	0:02:26	0:02:27
OK. Are you hungry? Yes.	0:02:27	0:02:30
Cereal? OK.	0:02:30	0:02:31
All right.	0:02:31	0:02:32
Dan: So, the plan.	0:02:32	0:02:34
TEENAGE GIRL: The plan.	0:02:34	0:02:36
Cara, Dad's about to reveal the plan.	0:02:36	0:02:37
I'll pack up the car,	0:02:37	0:02:39
pick you up right after school,	0:02:39	0:02:41
and then we'll drive straight...	0:02:41	0:02:44
through.	0:02:44	0:02:45
YOUNGEST GIRL: Sounds good.	0:02:45	0:02:47
Does not!	0:02:47	0:02:48
What now? Well...	0:02:48	0:02:49
Isn't the whole point that we go to school,	0:02:49	0:02:51
and now you're forcing us to miss school	0:02:51	0:02:53
when we should be, like, in school.	0:02:53	0:02:54
Right? I mean, what about my studies?	0:02:54	0:02:57
Why are you smiling?	0:02:57	0:02:59
I just never thought I'd hear you say, "What about my studies?"	0:02:59	0:03:02
It makes me, like, smile.	0:03:02	0:03:05
I don't want to go.	0:03:07	0:03:08
We do this every year!	0:03:08	0:03:09
Only time we can get the whole family together.	0:03:09	0:03:11
Dad helps Grandma and Grandpa close up the house. Go.	0:03:11	0:03:14
You're destroying my education!	0:03:14	0:03:16
You go change now. DOORBELL RINGS	0:03:16	0:03:18
Yes? Very good column, Sir.	0:03:19	0:03:21
That last bit about curfew is very apt.	0:03:21	0:03:23
And may I also say that yesterday's column on boundary-setting was excellent?	0:03:23	0:03:26
Who are you?	0:03:26	0:03:27
I'm Marty Barasco. Anyway, I would like	0:03:27	0:03:29
to especially thank you for last Friday's column.	0:03:29	0:03:31
It really helped me understand my parents.	0:03:31	0:03:33
OK.	0:03:33	0:03:35
Well, Marty, what else can I do for you?	0:03:35	0:03:38
I'd like to see your daughter, sir, if I could.	0:03:38	0:03:41
Ah. Jane. Jane!	0:03:41	0:03:43
Actually, I'm here for Cara.	0:03:43	0:03:45
Nice to meet you, Marty. Come back in two years.	0:03:47	0:03:51
I don't want to brag, but Mr Schaff says	0:03:52	0:03:55
I'm one of the best drivers in his class and he says I'm highway-ready.	0:03:55	0:03:57
Mr Schaff and I may not agree. Cara, let's go!	0:03:57	0:04:00
So will you let me? We'll see.	0:04:00	0:04:02
3 PM Sharp. Do not be...	0:04:02	0:04:05
Late. You got it. Late! Yes, we do.	0:04:05	0:04:07
FYI, that boy you were really rude to before is my friend Marty,	0:04:07	0:04:11
my lab partner from science class.	0:04:11	0:04:13
We're even doing an extra-credit project together.	0:04:13	0:04:15
Bus.	0:04:15	0:04:17
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait!	0:04:17	0:04:19
Come on! Hurry up!	0:04:19	0:04:21
PHONE RINGING	0:04:58	0:05:00
Yeah?	0:05:03	0:05:05
Yeah, Jordy, I e-mailed him half an hour ago.	0:05:05	0:05:07
What?	0:05:07	0:05:09
No way. You're kidding me.	0:05:09	0:05:12
CHUCKLING	0:05:12	0:05:14
That's funny. Ha ha ha!	0:05:21	0:05:22
Where's your sister?	0:05:22	0:05:24
You're late. She went to Yumm's.	0:05:24	0:05:27
Can I drive?	0:05:27	0:05:28
Dad's going to be syndicated.	0:05:28	0:05:30
Not so fast. There are two other columnists being considered, so...	0:05:30	0:05:33
Oh, that's great. Can I drive?	0:05:33	0:05:36
Look, you're a fine driver.	0:05:41	0:05:44
It's just that other hundred million...	0:05:44	0:05:46
If you don't let me, I'll never learn.	0:05:46	0:05:48
But if I let you, you may not live.	0:05:48	0:05:51
ROCK MUSIC BLARING	0:05:56	0:05:58
What was that? What are you doing?	0:06:25	0:06:28
Could you be more embarrassing?	0:06:28	0:06:29
Sorry to interrupt your studies with your friend.	0:06:29	0:06:31
Well, we can't all be monks like you.	0:06:31	0:06:33
By the way, you're grounded.	0:06:35	0:06:36
Oh, I'm grounded? Yep.	0:06:36	0:06:37
Mm-hmm. For how long?	0:06:37	0:06:39
For life.	0:06:39	0:06:40
OLDER DAUGHTER: Dad, come on.	0:06:40	0:06:41
CARA: This is humiliating! Tell me about it.	0:06:41	0:06:43
Dan: OK, you're grounded for a month.	0:06:43	0:06:44
A month?!	0:06:44	0:06:46
But that's worse than forever!	0:06:46	0:06:47
OK, Dad, why?	0:06:47	0:06:50
You lied to me.	0:06:50	0:06:51
Yeah, well, you can't handle the truth.	0:06:51	0:06:53
Maybe you should try me next time.	0:06:53	0:06:54
But...but... Yeah, no, no.	0:06:54	0:06:56
OK, Dad, I... I love Marty.	0:06:57	0:06:59
Dan: Oh, please.	0:06:59	0:07:01
CARA: OK.	0:07:01	0:07:03
Come on.	0:07:03	0:07:04
Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad!	0:07:04	0:07:06
Stop. Will you just listen? Listen. I didn't know right away.	0:07:06	0:07:08
It took me a while. What's a while?	0:07:08	0:07:10
Um, well, I...I've known him for 3 weeks, but I knew in 3 days.	0:07:10	0:07:13
3 days? You can't know in 3 days.	0:07:13	0:07:15
Well, maybe she can. No, no, no!	0:07:15	0:07:18
What you're feeling is not love.	0:07:18	0:07:20
It is young... Yes, it is.	0:07:20	0:07:21
And reckless... I love him, Dad.	0:07:21	0:07:23
And not thought out. No, I love him, Dad...	0:07:23	0:07:24
You may think it's love, but it is not.	0:07:24	0:07:25
No, it's not. No, it's not.	0:07:25	0:07:27
I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him...	0:07:27	0:07:30
NO AUDIO	0:07:39	0:07:41
# I'm not going to say	0:07:48	0:07:50
# Do you ever stop to think along the way	0:07:52	0:07:56
# But, baby, be...#	0:07:58	0:07:59
Dad? You OK?	0:07:59	0:08:01
There goes Jane's college education...	0:08:01	0:08:04
There goes Cara's.	0:08:04	0:08:06
Oh, no. What about mine?	0:08:06	0:08:08
No, you're good. Ah!	0:08:08	0:08:09
No, wait. There it goes.	0:08:09	0:08:11
You can't keep me from Marty.	0:08:15	0:08:17
Dad, let me remind you	0:08:18	0:08:20
That guys are half the world,	0:08:20	0:08:22
and I'll find others.	0:08:22	0:08:24
But know that only Marty gets my heart.	0:08:26	0:08:29
In the car.	0:08:29	0:08:31
I know a really good driver.	0:08:32	0:08:34
No. No.	0:08:34	0:08:37
Here you go.	0:08:44	0:08:47
I think your sisters aren't very happy with me.	0:08:47	0:08:50
Duh! SCOFFS Why do you think?	0:08:50	0:08:53
You're a good father,	0:08:53	0:08:55
but sometimes a bad dad.	0:08:55	0:08:58
Who told you to say that?	0:08:59	0:09:01
No one.	0:09:01	0:09:02
Was it Jane or Cara? You can tell me.	0:09:02	0:09:04
I made it up myself. No, you didn't.	0:09:04	0:09:07
Which one of your sisters told you to say that?	0:09:07	0:09:10
I made it up myself. I'm in the fourth grade.	0:09:10	0:09:12
I can make things up for myself. Jane or Cara?	0:09:12	0:09:15
I made it up myself. I can think of things myself.	0:09:15	0:09:17
Jane or Cara?	0:09:17	0:09:18
I'm in the fourth grade... BOTH: She's in the fourth grade!	0:09:18	0:09:21
# The weight of the world	0:09:21	0:09:24
# And the hurt	0:09:24	0:09:26
# And the dirt	0:09:26	0:09:28
# Can make you disturbed	0:09:28	0:09:31
# But I heard	0:09:31	0:09:33
# But I heard	0:09:33	0:09:37
# When I wrap my arms around you	0:09:37	0:09:40
# Every mistake we made crumbles	0:09:40	0:09:44
# When I wrap my arms around you	0:09:44	0:09:48
# Everything echoes a new song... #	0:09:48	0:09:52
HORN HONKS WOMAN: Oh, they're here!	0:10:05	0:10:07
Oh!	0:10:07	0:10:08
SECOND WOMAN: They're here. Come on, girls.	0:10:08	0:10:10
Well! Nice to see you.	0:10:10	0:10:13
Hey, Dad.	0:10:15	0:10:17
Mmm!	0:10:17	0:10:19
Well, now we're all here.	0:10:19	0:10:21
Mm-hmm. How you doing?	0:10:21	0:10:23
I'm fine. Well, maybe not.	0:10:23	0:10:24
My kids can't stand me.	0:10:24	0:10:26
Well, it just means you're doing something right.	0:10:26	0:10:28
WOMAN: You're gorgeous!	0:10:28	0:10:30
Oh, you're so... Hey, honey.	0:10:30	0:10:33
Look at your girls. They're all grown-up.	0:10:33	0:10:36
No, no, no. They're still very young.	0:10:36	0:10:38
Hey! How are you?	0:10:38	0:10:40
Wow. She's getting big.	0:10:40	0:10:42
And getting bigger every day.	0:10:42	0:10:43
Hey, man.	0:10:43	0:10:45
Hello.	0:10:47	0:10:49
Hey, Eileen.	0:10:49	0:10:51
How are you?	0:10:51	0:10:52
Good to see you. You hit traffic?	0:10:52	0:10:54
Yeah, it wasn't... ah, not too bad.	0:10:54	0:10:56
Hi, sis. I'm so glad you're here.	0:10:56	0:10:57
Who are they? I've never seen these guys in my life.	0:10:57	0:11:00
Hi, Uncle Dan. Say something.	0:11:00	0:11:02
Something. It happened! I knew it!	0:11:02	0:11:04
Way to go. Sounds good.	0:11:04	0:11:06
Help your uncle with his bags. Thanks.	0:11:06	0:11:08
Ohhh...	0:11:08	0:11:10
Honey, you're down here.	0:11:10	0:11:13
Your brother Mitch has a friend coming to visit, so...	0:11:13	0:11:16
I'm in the special room. Yeah.	0:11:16	0:11:18
Mitch: Sorry, bro. That's OK.	0:11:18	0:11:20
TURNS ON DRYER	0:11:24	0:11:26
You sleep tight. You, too.	0:11:26	0:11:29
DRYER CLANGING	0:11:29	0:11:32
WOMAN: Tired?	0:11:56	0:11:57
Morning.	0:11:57	0:11:59
Sleep OK?	0:11:59	0:12:01
Can I get you guys something?	0:12:02	0:12:04
Get a life.	0:12:04	0:12:06
She just needs some space.	0:12:12	0:12:14
That's not what she needs. Yeah.	0:12:14	0:12:16
She does. From the sound of things, you all do.	0:12:16	0:12:19
Yeah. Why don't you go get the papers?	0:12:19	0:12:21
Oh, Mom.	0:12:21	0:12:23
Yeah, go on.	0:12:23	0:12:24
It'll do you good.	0:12:24	0:12:26
Get lost for a little while.	0:12:26	0:12:28
Maybe I should stick around. No. Get lost, Dan.	0:12:28	0:12:31
It's not a request.	0:12:31	0:12:34
# You	0:12:47	0:12:49
# Who replaced	0:12:49	0:12:51
# Every beat THUNDER	0:12:51	0:12:54
# That was false	0:12:54	0:12:56
# And uptight	0:12:56	0:12:59
# Like a metronome	0:12:59	0:13:04
# You	0:13:07	0:13:09
# Should have stayed	0:13:09	0:13:11
# Cos that winter was long	0:13:11	0:13:17
# But by dawn	0:13:17	0:13:19
# You were gone	0:13:19	0:13:21
# I'll	0:13:23	0:13:25
# Be	0:13:25	0:13:27
# OK	0:13:27	0:13:32
# Well, I'll	0:13:32	0:13:35
# Be	0:13:35	0:13:38
# OK... #	0:13:38	0:13:43
Can you help me?	0:13:51	0:13:53
I'll be with you in a minute.	0:13:53	0:13:55
Well, then he went downtown.	0:13:55	0:13:58
Yeah, for coffee. Right.	0:13:58	0:14:01
WOMAN: Hi.	0:14:05	0:14:06
Excuse me. Could you help?	0:14:06	0:14:08
Um...	0:14:08	0:14:10
I guess.	0:14:10	0:14:11
I'm looking for a book, obviously.	0:14:11	0:14:15
Anything in particular? Yes.	0:14:15	0:14:17
Something that can help me deal with, um...	0:14:17	0:14:20
What might be an awkward situation.	0:14:22	0:14:25
Oh, OK. Um...	0:14:25	0:14:27
What...what kind of...	0:14:27	0:14:29
Well, something funny might be nice,	0:14:29	0:14:32
but not necessarily a big "ha ha ha",	0:14:32	0:14:35
Laugh-out-loud funny, you know.	0:14:35	0:14:37
And certainly not "make fun of other people" funny,	0:14:37	0:14:39
But rather something, uh...	0:14:39	0:14:42
Human funny.	0:14:42	0:14:44
OK.	0:14:44	0:14:46
And, uh, if it could sneak up on you,	0:14:46	0:14:50
surprise you, and at the same time	0:14:50	0:14:53
make you think that what you thought	0:14:53	0:14:55
was only right in a wrong kind of way,	0:14:55	0:14:58
but when you're wrong, there's a certain rightness	0:14:58	0:15:01
to your wrongness.	0:15:01	0:15:03
Um... Well, maybe.	0:15:03	0:15:05
What I mean is... heh heh...	0:15:05	0:15:07
Um, but more importantly, I'm...	0:15:07	0:15:10
I'm looking to be swept up.	0:15:10	0:15:12
And at the same time not...	0:15:14	0:15:16
Meaning I...I want to feel	0:15:16	0:15:18
a deep connection to, uh...	0:15:18	0:15:21
something.	0:15:21	0:15:23
Or maybe I don't know what I'm looking for.	0:15:23	0:15:26
Oh, well, in my experience, you rarely find it all in just one book.	0:15:26	0:15:29
Oh. Maybe that's why there are so many.	0:15:29	0:15:31
Hmm. So what do we have?	0:15:31	0:15:33
We have... a smattering,	0:15:33	0:15:36
a sort of a potpourri...	0:15:36	0:15:37
Potpourri? Of possibilities...yeah.	0:15:37	0:15:39
Here we go. We have poetry.	0:15:39	0:15:42
Dickinson, you know, basic stuff.	0:15:42	0:15:44
A little Neruda... Oh.	0:15:44	0:15:46
..is always good. I agree.	0:15:46	0:15:47
Oh, now, this is actually a real page-turner.	0:15:47	0:15:50
"The Life Of Gandhi"? I know, but...	0:15:50	0:15:52
Ah. Nobody has ever been quite so cool	0:15:52	0:15:55
as him.	0:15:55	0:15:57
Um, "Lighthouses," "A Good Man Is Hard To Find."	0:15:57	0:16:00
Oh, for the title alone.	0:16:00	0:16:01
"Anna Karenina." I don't...	0:16:01	0:16:03
Oh, now that's funny.	0:16:03	0:16:05
No. No, actually, no. Funny is here.	0:16:05	0:16:08
Maybe it's not that funny...	0:16:11	0:16:13
No, actually, that's funny. Very funny and true.	0:16:13	0:16:16
Good. OK, good.	0:16:16	0:16:18
But if you could pick only one...	0:16:18	0:16:23
Uh, well,	0:16:23	0:16:24
I would say	0:16:24	0:16:27
that nothing rivals	0:16:27	0:16:29
The Romance Of Fishing.	0:16:29	0:16:31
Ha ha ha ha!	0:16:31	0:16:33
I'm being honest.	0:16:33	0:16:34
I just walked around	0:16:34	0:16:36
and I just grabbed stuff. I just grabbed whatever I could...	0:16:36	0:16:38
MAN: So, ma'am, you were looking for?	0:16:38	0:16:40
Oh, sold. I'm sorry?	0:16:40	0:16:41
I want them all. These were just suggestions...	0:16:41	0:16:44
No, and you'll make sure he gets the commission, please.	0:16:44	0:16:46
He doesn't work here.	0:16:46	0:16:48
Well, he should.	0:16:48	0:16:50
You are...smooth.	0:16:52	0:16:56
I...actually, no, I'm not smooth.	0:16:56	0:16:59
I...well, I'm Dan.	0:16:59	0:17:01
Sorry.	0:17:01	0:17:03
Marie.	0:17:04	0:17:06
Hi.	0:17:06	0:17:09
Hi.	0:17:09	0:17:11
Um, so, Marie,	0:17:11	0:17:13
can I make it up to you?	0:17:13	0:17:16
OK, here is your tea.	0:17:16	0:17:18
Hot. Watch it.	0:17:18	0:17:20
And here is my orange juice.	0:17:20	0:17:21
I bought a muffin,	0:17:21	0:17:23
But I think they gave me	0:17:23	0:17:26
a small planet.	0:17:26	0:17:28
GIGGLES Just put that down.	0:17:28	0:17:30
And I have napkins and utensils.	0:17:30	0:17:33
I'm a big believer in forks.	0:17:33	0:17:35
And you are not, apparently.	0:17:35	0:17:38
So, Dan... Yes?	0:17:38	0:17:40
You were born...?	0:17:40	0:17:42
I was born,	0:17:42	0:17:43
like everybody else.	0:17:43	0:17:45
I grew up, like everybody else.	0:17:45	0:17:47
Good?	0:17:47	0:17:49
Mmm.	0:17:49	0:17:50
Um, OK. What else?	0:17:52	0:17:54
I went to school, and I had a "Bonanza" lunch pail.	0:17:54	0:17:57
This show in the sixties, a TV show.	0:17:57	0:18:00
When I was ten, I wanted to be a magician,	0:18:00	0:18:03
so I used to hold these magic shows	0:18:03	0:18:04
for all the kids in the neighbourhood.	0:18:04	0:18:06
I tried to make a neighbourhood girl levitate.	0:18:06	0:18:09
And she did, but it involved a body cast	0:18:09	0:18:12
and several stitches.	0:18:12	0:18:14
Ha ha ha ha!	0:18:14	0:18:15
Dan: Let me tell you something.	0:18:28	0:18:30
Something I've never...	0:18:30	0:18:31
You're going to laugh...	0:18:31	0:18:33
Something I've never told anybody... GIGGLING	0:18:33	0:18:36
..in my life...	0:18:36	0:18:38
And this is really hard for me to say.	0:18:38	0:18:41
BOTH GIGGLING	0:18:41	0:18:43
And then she got, uh...sick.	0:18:44	0:18:48
And, um, then she was gone.	0:18:48	0:18:51
And, uh...	0:18:52	0:18:55
It's taken a while.	0:18:56	0:18:58
We should probably talk about something else.	0:19:00	0:19:04
So you're telling me that you're one of those widowers	0:19:04	0:19:06
with three daughters, who preys on unsuspecting women in bookstores?	0:19:06	0:19:10
It seems that would be me.	0:19:10	0:19:12
Been there. Really?	0:19:12	0:19:14
CHUCKLES	0:19:14	0:19:16
No, it seems that it's been...	0:19:18	0:19:22
Seriously hard.	0:19:22	0:19:24
No. Um...	0:19:24	0:19:26
No, we're... We're OK now.	0:19:26	0:19:29
We're really OK.	0:19:29	0:19:31
(WHISPERED) You don't have to smile.	0:19:31	0:19:33
Better than the alternative.	0:19:34	0:19:37
PHONE RINGING	0:19:37	0:19:39
Ah. Can you hold?	0:19:39	0:19:41
Mm-hmm.	0:19:41	0:19:42
Excuse me. Mm-hmm.	0:19:44	0:19:45
Hi. No, no. I'm minutes away.	0:19:45	0:19:48
Yes.	0:19:48	0:19:50
Um, I have to go.	0:19:50	0:19:52
Oh, OK.	0:19:52	0:19:54
I just lost track of time.	0:19:56	0:19:59
I wish we could keep talking.	0:19:59	0:20:01
Well, it was nice, and a bit unusual meeting you.	0:20:01	0:20:05
Maybe I can call you sometime?	0:20:05	0:20:07
Oh, that might be awkward.	0:20:07	0:20:09
Because you're in a relationship? Yes, a new one.	0:20:09	0:20:12
Something I would have found out if I hadn't been doing all the talking.	0:20:12	0:20:14
That's true. It's not exactly fair, is it?	0:20:14	0:20:17
I mean, uh... Thank you.	0:20:17	0:20:19
You know all about me and I know nothing about you.	0:20:19	0:20:21
I just...I don't want to go through the rest of my life	0:20:21	0:20:24
wondering about the woman in the bookstore who let me do all the talking.	0:20:24	0:20:27
All we'd be is two people	0:20:27	0:20:29
finishing a conversation.	0:20:29	0:20:31
Um...	0:20:31	0:20:33
OK. No harm in that.	0:20:33	0:20:36
Oh, OK.	0:20:41	0:20:43
Call.	0:20:45	0:20:46
Or don't, but, uh, call.	0:20:46	0:20:49
ENGINE STARTS	0:20:51	0:20:54
Oh, um... KNOCKS ON THE WINDOW Hey, hey, hey.	0:20:54	0:20:56
Just so you know, um, I would even call to say I'm not calling.	0:20:56	0:21:01
Hmm.	0:21:01	0:21:02
CHUCKLES	0:21:06	0:21:08
Um...	0:21:08	0:21:10
OK.	0:21:11	0:21:13
"I'd even call to say I'm not calling"?	0:21:17	0:21:20
Wow.	0:21:20	0:21:22
HONKING	0:21:22	0:21:24
Sorry! Sorry!	0:21:24	0:21:26
POLICE SIREN	0:21:26	0:21:28
SIGHS	0:21:35	0:21:37
I, um, I never do this kind of thing, officer.	0:21:38	0:21:41
I'm usually very...careful. Mm-hmm.	0:21:41	0:21:44
And nobody believes in...	0:21:44	0:21:47
Welcome to Rhode Island. Yeah, OK.	0:21:47	0:21:49
Yeah, it's nice to be here.	0:21:49	0:21:51
PIANO PLAYING	0:21:51	0:21:54
Hey.	0:21:55	0:21:56
Hey.	0:21:56	0:21:58
CHUCKLES What's wrong?	0:21:58	0:22:00
Nobody.	0:22:00	0:22:01
I mean, nothing.	0:22:01	0:22:04
Daddy's back.	0:22:04	0:22:05
Dude, are you all right?	0:22:10	0:22:12
What? Yeah. No, no, no.	0:22:12	0:22:14
I'm good. Really?	0:22:14	0:22:15
Yeah.	0:22:15	0:22:16
Cos you don't seem good.	0:22:16	0:22:19
Well...	0:22:19	0:22:21
The strangest thing. I, um...	0:22:21	0:22:23
Wow.	0:22:23	0:22:25
"Wow" what?	0:22:25	0:22:27
(WHISPERS) I met somebody,	0:22:29	0:22:31
And she's really something.	0:22:31	0:22:32
Hot damn!	0:22:32	0:22:34
CHUCKLES That's beyond huge.	0:22:34	0:22:36
Yeah. You got her number?	0:22:36	0:22:37
Yeah. Are you going to call?	0:22:37	0:22:39
It's complicated. No, it's simple.	0:22:39	0:22:40
You've got to call.	0:22:40	0:22:42
Oh, he just met her. He's probably worried it's too soon.	0:22:42	0:22:44
No, it's never too soon, especially for somebody his age.	0:22:44	0:22:46
SNICKERING Amy, Dan met someone.	0:22:46	0:22:48
Shh. You met someone?	0:22:48	0:22:50
Dan: Hey, shh.	0:22:50	0:22:51
How soon till he can call?	0:22:51	0:22:53
Yeah, I wouldn't know. I haven't been single for years.	0:22:53	0:22:55
You need to... oh, my god.	0:22:55	0:22:56
Uncle Dan met someone?	0:22:56	0:22:58
Uncle Dan met a hottie.	0:22:58	0:22:59
Don't get excited. That is enough.	0:22:59	0:23:01
Jeez. You know what? Let's ask Annie.	0:23:01	0:23:05
What...what does she look like?	0:23:05	0:23:08
She...	0:23:08	0:23:09
What's the, um...	0:23:09	0:23:10
The question?	0:23:13	0:23:15
This is my brother, Dan.	0:23:15	0:23:16
And, uh, he needs your advice.	0:23:16	0:23:18
He met some hottie downtown,	0:23:18	0:23:20
and, um, she's a little shell-shocked.	0:23:20	0:23:22
Yeah, wouldn't you be? Mitch neglects	0:23:22	0:23:24
to mention that in their little weekend away,	0:23:24	0:23:26
she's going to meet our entire family.	0:23:26	0:23:27
I didn't want to scare her off.	0:23:27	0:23:29
Nana: Let's go, everybody.	0:23:29	0:23:31
Let's go.	0:23:31	0:23:33
So...Annie?	0:23:35	0:23:37
It's Anne Marie.	0:23:37	0:23:38
Mitch calls me Annie,	0:23:38	0:23:39
but I'm Marie everywhere else.	0:23:39	0:23:41
Yeah, I have two Marys and a Martha in my exercise class,	0:23:41	0:23:43
so I didn't want to confuse people.	0:23:43	0:23:45
No. That...that would be not good.	0:23:45	0:23:47
I...I prefer Marie.	0:23:47	0:23:50
Nana: Come on, sweetie. All the women are on the porch.	0:23:50	0:23:51
Yeah, girls are out there, guys in here.	0:23:51	0:23:54
Mitch: Come on, Dan. Let's do it.	0:23:54	0:23:56
Perfect.	0:23:59	0:24:00
"Briefest time units."	0:24:00	0:24:02
Four letters. "Milli."	0:24:02	0:24:04
Oh, wait, wait, wait... "Nano."	0:24:04	0:24:05
A-n-o.	0:24:05	0:24:07
Yeah. Great!	0:24:07	0:24:09
Hey, no spying.	0:24:09	0:24:11
You guys are way behind!	0:24:13	0:24:15
That's not helping.	0:24:15	0:24:17
I don't think "Secretive" fits.	0:24:17	0:24:19
Man: No, no, it doesn't fit. "Secretive" doesn't fit.	0:24:19	0:24:21
Let's move on to 12 across.	0:24:21	0:24:22
All right, we're moving on.	0:24:22	0:24:24
So, for you to be interested in someone,	0:24:24	0:24:25
She must be really special, right? Let's get 12 across.	0:24:25	0:24:27
This is what I'm trying to tell you.	0:24:27	0:24:29
It is not going to happen.	0:24:29	0:24:30
She's already dating somebody.	0:24:30	0:24:32
That's none of your problem, bro.	0:24:32	0:24:34
Uh, actually, it kind of is.	0:24:34	0:24:36
Listen up. 15 across, 5 letters..."Pan-fried."	0:24:36	0:24:39
"Pan-fried." Let's go.	0:24:39	0:24:41
"Grill." Dude, is there a rock on her left hand?	0:24:41	0:24:43
Uh, no. Not yet. Then all's fair.	0:24:43	0:24:45
Poppy: All right. Now, focus, people.	0:24:45	0:24:47
"Pan-fried."	0:24:47	0:24:49
"Saute."	0:24:49	0:24:50
Oh, my gosh. Of course it's "Saute."	0:24:50	0:24:52
LAUGHTER	0:24:52	0:24:53
So, uh...	0:24:53	0:24:54
And the word before it,	0:24:54	0:24:56
did we try "Zeitgeist"?	0:24:56	0:24:58
It'd be e-i-t.	0:24:58	0:25:00
Which, I think, then would make "Ozone" work.	0:25:00	0:25:02
Eileen: Oh, lord, we hit the mother load.	0:25:02	0:25:04
LAUGHTER	0:25:04	0:25:06
Wow.	0:25:06	0:25:09
Ten letters..."Anything that can go wrong will."	0:25:09	0:25:12
So...	0:25:12	0:25:13
Dan. Earth to Dan. Come on. We're still at across.	0:25:13	0:25:15
We're not even at down, Dan. We're not even at down here.	0:25:15	0:25:17
Come on. We're dying here, buddy.	0:25:17	0:25:18
ALL CHEERING Come on!	0:25:18	0:25:19
That's it.	0:25:19	0:25:21
We're done.	0:25:21	0:25:23
To the dishes. Congratulations.	0:25:23	0:25:26
Anne Marie!	0:25:26	0:25:28
Let's check it!	0:25:28	0:25:30
What now, boys? Dishes, Dad!	0:25:30	0:25:33
Dan, what happened to you? You were totally useless out there.	0:25:33	0:25:35
Sorry, guys.	0:25:35	0:25:36
Lay off him. He's got a lot on his mind.	0:25:36	0:25:38
Hey, Dad, Mom,	0:25:38	0:25:40
What do you think of...	0:25:40	0:25:42
Well, Mitch, it's too soon to tell.	0:25:42	0:25:44
That being said, she's bright,	0:25:44	0:25:47
Lovely, adorable,	0:25:47	0:25:49
And if you botch this up, we'll keep her	0:25:49	0:25:51
and get rid of you.	0:25:51	0:25:54
Dan, honey, you missed a spot.	0:25:54	0:25:57
Seriously, dude, that girl is smokin',	0:25:57	0:25:59
I'm ready to say, really.	0:25:59	0:26:02
What do you think of her?	0:26:02	0:26:04
Um, she's great.	0:26:04	0:26:07
FOOTSTEPS ASCENDING	0:26:26	0:26:28
Boy: Hey, hey.	0:26:28	0:26:30
Uh... Go, go.	0:26:30	0:26:32
No, no, no. Let's go, Gus. All right.	0:26:32	0:26:34
Can I show you where we are on this map here?	0:26:34	0:26:36
Oh, yes, yes.	0:26:36	0:26:38
Um...	0:26:38	0:26:40
If I had known, I would have never...	0:26:40	0:26:42
Not my brother's girlfriend.	0:26:42	0:26:44
Oh, no, of course not.	0:26:44	0:26:46
And for the record, I never called you a hottie.	0:26:46	0:26:48
Mitch: Whoo!	0:26:48	0:26:49
OK, we are... this is the bay. Ah.	0:26:49	0:26:52
And we're right there. I see.	0:26:52	0:26:54
So what should we do?	0:26:54	0:26:56
It's kind of funny. Maybe we should just tell everyone.	0:26:56	0:26:58
No. No.	0:26:58	0:27:00
No, no, no...	0:27:00	0:27:01
We didn't do anything wrong.	0:27:01	0:27:03
Oh, good. Glad you're getting to know each other.	0:27:03	0:27:05
Yep. Yeah. Just showing her where we are on the map.	0:27:05	0:27:07
Gus: Hey, Uncle Mitch, you're not counting.	0:27:07	0:27:10
OK, OK. Hey.	0:27:10	0:27:12
I know what's going on here with you two.	0:27:12	0:27:14
You're not hiding.	0:27:17	0:27:18
CHUCKLES Go ahead.	0:27:18	0:27:20
1...	0:27:20	0:27:22
2...	0:27:22	0:27:23
Go. OK. Ha ha!	0:27:23	0:27:25
3...	0:27:25	0:27:28
Clay, I know you're in that back closet.	0:27:28	0:27:30
Clay: Oh, come on, man. Ha ha ha! 4...	0:27:30	0:27:33
Do-over! 5...	0:27:33	0:27:35
6. I'm counting to 200.	0:27:35	0:27:37
We see you. Yes, we do. 7...	0:27:37	0:27:39
I'm going to lay down for this whole thing.	0:27:39	0:27:41
8...	0:27:41	0:27:42
SIGHS	0:27:42	0:27:44
Mitch is a great guy...	0:27:44	0:27:45
He is. Yeah, he's fun and, uh, funny.	0:27:45	0:27:48
Uncomplicated in a good way.	0:27:48	0:27:50
Just what I need. He's a great guy.	0:27:50	0:27:52
9...	0:27:52	0:27:54
See, I just ended this long, messy relationship,	0:27:54	0:27:57
and I joined this gym and Mitch was there.	0:27:57	0:28:00
He's a great guy.	0:28:00	0:28:02
You keep saying that. Well, because he is.	0:28:02	0:28:05
Ah. 10.	0:28:05	0:28:07
(RAPIDLY) 11, 12, 13, 14, 15.	0:28:07	0:28:09
So good luck to all of us.	0:28:09	0:28:12
OK.	0:28:12	0:28:14
So a little bird told me you're going to be syndicated. Really?	0:28:18	0:28:21
They're looking at a bunch of columnists.	0:28:21	0:28:23
It's a long shot, at best.	0:28:23	0:28:24
She's amazing.	0:28:24	0:28:26
Name a place, she's either lived there or visited:	0:28:26	0:28:28
Tibet, Chile, Berlin when there was the wall.	0:28:28	0:28:32
Jeez!	0:28:32	0:28:33
Ha ha!	0:28:33	0:28:36
Whoa, whoa! What'd I miss?	0:28:36	0:28:37
Poppy: Well, Mitch certainly made out.	0:28:37	0:28:39
Yep.	0:28:39	0:28:41
What about you? Have you found anyone?	0:28:41	0:28:43
Dad, don't.	0:28:43	0:28:44
Well, come on. You always say that with Suzanne you won the lottery,	0:28:44	0:28:48
And that to try again would feel greedy,	0:28:48	0:28:51
But...it's been 4 years.	0:28:51	0:28:54
Can we just walk, please?	0:28:54	0:28:57
LAUGHTER	0:29:03	0:29:05
I wanted to spare you.	0:29:06	0:29:08
And I never smelled a thing.	0:29:08	0:29:11
LAUGHTER	0:29:11	0:29:12
Somebody please pass the corn.	0:29:12	0:29:14
Marie: That's how we met.	0:29:14	0:29:16
Ah. I got it.	0:29:16	0:29:18
What's your sign?	0:29:18	0:29:19
Scorpio, Libra rising.	0:29:19	0:29:21
Oh, my God. So am I. Really?	0:29:21	0:29:22
Do you have any siblings? Marie: No.	0:29:22	0:29:24
Who wants corn? Any?	0:29:24	0:29:25
Eileen: Tell us something about yourself	0:29:25	0:29:27
few people know, not even Mitch.	0:29:27	0:29:29
I am an...	0:29:31	0:29:33
an accomplished	0:29:33	0:29:35
maker of pancakes.	0:29:35	0:29:37
Talent show.	0:29:37	0:29:38
Talent show, right there.	0:29:38	0:29:40
What would your perfect day be?	0:29:40	0:29:41
Mine would start with Annie, and it would end with...	0:29:41	0:29:42
Mitch, once again, I was not asking you.	0:29:42	0:29:44
Wait. So you were saying?	0:29:44	0:29:45
My perfect day would start with going to a country	0:29:45	0:29:48
where they speak a language I don't know.	0:29:48	0:29:50
New customs, someplace where I'm completely out of my element.	0:29:50	0:29:54
Welcome. I think you've arrived.	0:29:54	0:29:56
LAUGHTER	0:29:56	0:29:58
I just want to say the first time...	0:29:58	0:29:59
The first time that I saw her...	0:29:59	0:30:02
Sweetheart, sweetheart, you don't have to shout.	0:30:02	0:30:05
Well, I...I thought that...	0:30:05	0:30:07
that I just died because there's an angel in the room.	0:30:07	0:30:10
Mmm. Thank you.	0:30:10	0:30:13
That's sweet.	0:30:16	0:30:19
Cara: Are you and Mitch in love?	0:30:20	0:30:22
This corn is like an angel.	0:30:22	0:30:24
CHILDREN TALKING AT ONCE	0:30:30	0:30:33
Dan: Dessert.	0:30:56	0:30:57
Dessert.	0:30:57	0:30:59
Danny, some of us are still eating.	0:30:59	0:31:01
It's getting late. No, it's not.	0:31:01	0:31:03
I'm an only child, too. This is really overwhelming, isn't it?	0:31:03	0:31:05
Have you ever lived your perfect day?	0:31:05	0:31:07
When does a boyfriend become a lover?	0:31:07	0:31:10
OK.	0:31:10	0:31:11
OK, all right, all right.	0:31:11	0:31:12
I think we can stop asking her questions.	0:31:12	0:31:14
You've been grilling her all night.	0:31:14	0:31:16
I'm sorry. Does it feel like we're grilling you?	0:31:16	0:31:17
No, no. Not at all.	0:31:17	0:31:19
Dan: She's just being nice.	0:31:19	0:31:20
No. I love the questions.	0:31:20	0:31:23
Oh, please. Mmm!	0:31:23	0:31:25
On behalf of my family,	0:31:25	0:31:27
I would like to apologize.	0:31:27	0:31:29
None of Mitch's previous girlfriends have ever been subjected	0:31:29	0:31:32
To such in-depth questioning.	0:31:32	0:31:33
Yeah, Dan does have a point.	0:31:33	0:31:35
Dan: Right?	0:31:35	0:31:36
Not the body double. No.	0:31:36	0:31:37
Not the Dancer. Oh, god.	0:31:37	0:31:40
Or the "massage therapist."	0:31:40	0:31:44
None of the flight attendants	0:31:44	0:31:46
From every major and regional airline,	0:31:46	0:31:48
Who've wheeled their carts through this very house.	0:31:48	0:31:50
OK, that's enough. Well, am I wrong?	0:31:50	0:31:52
Come on!	0:31:52	0:31:54
Wow, Dan.	0:31:57	0:31:59
Thank you for pointing that out.	0:31:59	0:32:01
You're the smartest guy I know.	0:32:01	0:32:04
He's right.	0:32:04	0:32:06
It's Annie's turn to ask me whatever...	0:32:06	0:32:09
(QUIETLY) She prefers Marie.	0:32:09	0:32:11
Ask me whatever you want, Marie?	0:32:12	0:32:14
I don't have any questions.	0:32:14	0:32:16
Oh, come on.	0:32:16	0:32:18
CHUCKLES	0:32:18	0:32:20
Mitch said early on that if I'd forgive him his past,	0:32:20	0:32:22
he'd forgive me mine.	0:32:22	0:32:26
Well, that's a stupid thing to do.	0:32:26	0:32:27
Nana: OK, everybody, into the family room.	0:32:27	0:32:29
Kids, come on!	0:32:29	0:32:31
Into the family room.	0:32:31	0:32:34
John, bring the pies, please.	0:32:39	0:32:42
Not you. You'll be doing the dishes alone.	0:32:47	0:32:50
DISTANT CONVERSATION	0:32:55	0:32:58
Cara: Yes, yes, yes!	0:32:58	0:33:00
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE	0:33:00	0:33:02
Second word. Second word.	0:33:06	0:33:08
You! You!	0:33:08	0:33:10
Mitch: Hey.	0:33:10	0:33:11
I'm sorry. I was way, way out of line.	0:33:11	0:33:14
No. You're never out of line. You're my brother.	0:33:14	0:33:16
No, I think you'll understand when I tell you...	0:33:16	0:33:19
There's nothing that you could say or do that would upset me.	0:33:19	0:33:20
The woman I met at the bookstore... Can I just say one thing?	0:33:20	0:33:23
When you were talking about my other girls,	0:33:23	0:33:26
I realized something.	0:33:26	0:33:28
What I feel for Marie...	0:33:30	0:33:33
is different.	0:33:33	0:33:34
You know that feeling	0:33:36	0:33:38
in, um, in your...	0:33:38	0:33:40
Heart. Yeah.	0:33:40	0:33:41
When your heart is just...	0:33:41	0:33:43
Pounding? Pounding.	0:33:43	0:33:45
And... Like it's actually outside your ribs?	0:33:45	0:33:47
Yes.	0:33:47	0:33:48
Exposed, vulnerable?	0:33:48	0:33:50
Yeah. But wonderful and awful	0:33:50	0:33:52
and heartsick and alive, all at the same time?	0:33:52	0:33:54
Yes, yes. What do you call that?	0:33:54	0:33:58
CHUCKLES	0:33:58	0:33:59
Uh, love.	0:33:59	0:34:01
You always did have the words.	0:34:06	0:34:07
FAMILY CLAMBERING	0:34:07	0:34:09
Stanford or Berkeley.	0:34:13	0:34:15
Oh, those are great schools.	0:34:15	0:34:16
Maybe University Of Washington	0:34:16	0:34:19
or somewhere closer to home.	0:34:19	0:34:22
Lil, if you have trouble sleeping, you know where to find me.	0:34:24	0:34:28
Dad.	0:34:28	0:34:30
Hey, Uncle Mitch,	0:34:31	0:34:33
are you going in for your good-night kiss?	0:34:33	0:34:34
You bet.	0:34:34	0:34:35
Mom and dad's old "Separate bedrooms	0:34:35	0:34:37
till you're married" rule.	0:34:37	0:34:38
It is kind of high-school. I agree with that rule.	0:34:38	0:34:40
Thank you, Dan. You're welcome.	0:34:40	0:34:42
Amy: Mitch, what are you doing?	0:34:42	0:34:43
Marie brought some books, but I thought	0:34:43	0:34:45
she should read a real book by a real writer.	0:34:45	0:34:47
Dan: Oh, no, no, no. That's not a good idea.	0:34:47	0:34:49
Au contraire. Please don't.	0:34:49	0:34:50
Best book I've ever read.	0:34:50	0:34:51
May be the only book you've ever read.	0:34:51	0:34:53
Mitch: Funny. Be nice.	0:34:53	0:34:54
And if you could sign it, I think that'd be really great.	0:34:54	0:34:56
Nana: Careful. That's a first edition.	0:34:56	0:34:57
It's the only edition, Mom.	0:34:57	0:34:59
Oh, now. Good night.	0:34:59	0:35:00
Good night.	0:35:00	0:35:01
Sleep tight.	0:35:01	0:35:04
Um, I really wish you wouldn't.	0:35:04	0:35:07
"Good luck"? That's it?	0:35:09	0:35:10
OK. We can work with that.	0:35:10	0:35:13
Hi.	0:35:13	0:35:14
Good night.	0:35:23	0:35:24
DRYER CLANGING	0:35:27	0:35:30
SIGHS	0:35:37	0:35:39
Hey.	0:35:39	0:35:40
Say good morning.	0:35:40	0:35:41
Morning. Yeah.	0:35:41	0:35:44
Heh heh! Have fun.	0:35:44	0:35:47
Here you go, sweetheart. There ya go.	0:35:47	0:35:50
Mitch: Marie?	0:35:50	0:35:51
Will you join us, please, beautiful girl?	0:35:51	0:35:53
Hey, Mom?	0:35:53	0:35:55
Yeah, honey? Mom, will you hit that music?	0:35:55	0:35:57
Sure. John, get in.	0:35:57	0:35:58
You need this more than I do. Here he comes.	0:35:58	0:36:00
I got him. Mitch: All right, good.	0:36:00	0:36:01
All right, Dan. Get on over here.	0:36:01	0:36:03
Here we go. Boxer shuffle.	0:36:03	0:36:05
And I want to see those fists up.	0:36:05	0:36:07
3, 2, 1. To the right.	0:36:08	0:36:10
"SEPTEMBER" PLAYING Get a good bounce. 5, 6, 7.	0:36:10	0:36:13
Switch. # Do you remember	0:36:13	0:36:16
Whoo! # The 21st night of September...#	0:36:16	0:36:18
4, 5, 6, 7.	0:36:18	0:36:20
Count it. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.	0:36:20	0:36:24
You want to take this? Can I?	0:36:24	0:36:26
Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK.	0:36:26	0:36:29
Salsa?	0:36:29	0:36:30
Yeah.	0:36:30	0:36:31
You want to salsa?	0:36:31	0:36:33
The floor is yours, baby.	0:36:33	0:36:35
And left.	0:36:35	0:36:36
And 1,	0:36:36	0:36:38
2...	0:36:38	0:36:39
Dan, now you can see her up front.	0:36:39	0:36:40
Beginners in the middle. Heh heh!	0:36:40	0:36:42
Keep your eyes on Marie. And again in the centre.	0:36:42	0:36:44
And 1, 2, 3,	0:36:44	0:36:48
4, 5...	0:36:48	0:36:50
# Ba de ya	0:36:50	0:36:51
# Never was a cloudy day. #	0:36:51	0:36:53
Let's do the arm a little bit.	0:36:53	0:36:55
All right.	0:36:55	0:36:56
# My thoughts are with you...	0:36:56	0:36:57
1, 2, 3, 4...	0:36:57	0:37:01
# Only blue talk and love	0:37:01	0:37:03
# Remember	0:37:03	0:37:05
# How we know love Was here to stay	0:37:05	0:37:10
# Now December	0:37:10	0:37:12
# Found the love we shared...#	0:37:12	0:37:13
OK, everybody look at Marie for what to do,	0:37:13	0:37:15
Dan what not to do.	0:37:15	0:37:17
(LAUGHTER)	0:37:17	0:37:19
Clay: You are excellent at this. Thank you so much.	0:37:19	0:37:21
You were great. That was great.	0:37:21	0:37:22
Whoo!	0:37:22	0:37:24
(OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS)	0:37:24	0:37:27
Clay: Wow.	0:37:34	0:37:36
Now, that's a good stretch.	0:37:36	0:37:38
Hey, maybe you'll try that on me a little later.	0:37:42	0:37:44
LAUGHING	0:37:55	0:37:58
Lilly: Dad?	0:38:02	0:38:04
Lilly, get your sisters to meet me in front.	0:38:04	0:38:06
Now.	0:38:06	0:38:08
Where are you going? Can we come with you?	0:38:12	0:38:15
Can we? Can we? Can we?	0:38:15	0:38:17
Oh, actually my girls are looking	0:38:17	0:38:19
for a little quality alone time with their dad,	0:38:19	0:38:21
but I promise we'll do it another day,	0:38:21	0:38:23
All right? Lil, come on.	0:38:23	0:38:25
Let's go. In the car.	0:38:25	0:38:26
Girls, let's go.	0:38:26	0:38:28
Dad, what is it?	0:38:28	0:38:30
Nana's going to teach me how to knit.	0:38:30	0:38:32
Dan: Cara, let's go.	0:38:32	0:38:33
No.	0:38:33	0:38:35
OK, so what are you waiting for?	0:38:37	0:38:40
Come here.	0:38:40	0:38:42
Right here.	0:38:42	0:38:43
Right here. Oh!	0:38:43	0:38:45
Oh, you're so heavy.	0:38:45	0:38:46
I don't know if I can do it.	0:38:46	0:38:49
All right. Huh? Ha ha ha!	0:38:49	0:38:51
I don't think I...	0:38:51	0:38:53
Dan: Wow.	0:39:00	0:39:02
No, no, no.	0:39:05	0:39:08
This used to be the place	0:39:08	0:39:09
with all the shells	0:39:09	0:39:11
and the paper-mache shark.	0:39:11	0:39:14
Honey, remember you loved the salt water taffy?	0:39:14	0:39:16
When I was 4. Yeah, but...OK.	0:39:16	0:39:19
Stick with me, guys.	0:39:20	0:39:22
Oh, I have an idea! Bowling!	0:39:22	0:39:24
Yeah? All right. Sounds good.	0:39:24	0:39:26
Life is full of disappointment,	0:39:26	0:39:30
big and sometimes even bigger.	0:39:30	0:39:32
So, what's it going to be,	0:39:32	0:39:34
he lighthouse or the railroad museum? Your pick.	0:39:34	0:39:37
Do you know why we have lighthouses?	0:39:39	0:39:41
Because they're neat?	0:39:41	0:39:43
That's right, yes.	0:39:44	0:39:46
And also because they help	0:39:46	0:39:48
when it's dark out.	0:39:48	0:39:50
They help keep boats safe	0:39:50	0:39:52
And keep us from crashing into the rocks	0:39:52	0:39:55
because when you're out there	0:39:55	0:39:57
and you're being tossed back and forth	0:39:57	0:40:00
by those big, dark waves	0:40:00	0:40:02
and you think that you'll never feel land again	0:40:02	0:40:06
and that you can just split into a million pieces	0:40:06	0:40:09
and sink down all the way down...	0:40:09	0:40:12
Deep.	0:40:12	0:40:14
It's the light that keeps us on course.	0:40:14	0:40:18
It's the light.	0:40:18	0:40:19
Lilly: Dad.	0:40:19	0:40:20
Are you OK?	0:40:20	0:40:22
Of course I'm OK...	0:40:22	0:40:25
Honey.	0:40:25	0:40:26
You guys have fun?	0:40:32	0:40:34
No. No. No.	0:40:34	0:40:36
Amy: Kids, where have you been?	0:40:39	0:40:41
I know, I know. I'm...	0:40:41	0:40:43
We looked all over.	0:40:43	0:40:44
You know, for an expert on parenting...	0:40:44	0:40:45
I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking.	0:40:45	0:40:47
Daddy! Hi, buddy.	0:40:47	0:40:49
Great.	0:40:49	0:40:51
Yeah! Yeah!	0:40:55	0:40:56
PANTING	0:40:56	0:40:58
Dan!	0:40:59	0:41:00
She was amazing. You should have seen her.	0:41:00	0:41:02
She killed the last quarter-mile.	0:41:02	0:41:04
It was fast. Was enough?	0:41:04	0:41:06
Yeah, it was like I couldn't catch up.	0:41:06	0:41:07
Even your sweater's beautiful.	0:41:07	0:41:10
Ha ha!	0:41:10	0:41:12
Where'd Dan go?	0:41:12	0:41:14
Mitch: Mom, she moves like a goddess.	0:41:14	0:41:17
She's like a panther.	0:41:17	0:41:19
Just her eyes...	0:41:19	0:41:21
And she's competitive. I just wanted to	0:41:21	0:41:23
pounce on her, you know what I mean?	0:41:23	0:41:25
It's like I wanted to ride her up the beach.	0:41:25	0:41:27
Now, don't do that.	0:41:27	0:41:28
She was like my stallion.	0:41:28	0:41:30
(MITCH CHUCKLING) Oh.	0:41:30	0:41:32
I wanted her to be a part of me, you know? I mean...	0:41:34	0:41:36
Marie!	0:41:36	0:41:37
There's fresh towels up there in the cabinet to the right.	0:41:37	0:41:42
I miss your skin.	0:41:42	0:41:44
I miss your smell.	0:41:45	0:41:47
Mmm.	0:41:47	0:41:49
I miss... I miss your eyes.	0:41:49	0:41:52
GIGGLES	0:41:52	0:41:54
Dad! SNICKERS	0:41:54	0:41:56
I...	0:41:56	0:41:57
You are such a freak!	0:41:57	0:41:58
No, sorry. It's just my loser of a father!	0:41:58	0:42:01
Yeah, he was totally spying.	0:42:01	0:42:04
DOOR SLAMS	0:42:04	0:42:05
KNOCKING	0:42:07	0:42:09
RUNNING WATER Marie: hello?	0:42:09	0:42:10
Hello? We got to talk.	0:42:10	0:42:13
Uh, can it wait?	0:42:13	0:42:15
Is this working for you?	0:42:15	0:42:17
I mean, really working. Be honest.	0:42:17	0:42:19
I'm having a nice time.	0:42:19	0:42:21
A nice time? Yes, I am.	0:42:21	0:42:22
So you're enjoying yourself?	0:42:22	0:42:24
Except for this soap in my eyes.	0:42:24	0:42:26
OK, 'cos you know what? I'm not.	0:42:26	0:42:28
I'm not enjoying myself, and I think	0:42:28	0:42:30
that as two people of principle	0:42:30	0:42:32
that we should have some ground rules, don't you?	0:42:32	0:42:34
Oh, yeah, sure.	0:42:34	0:42:35
OK, sure.	0:42:35	0:42:36
Oh, OK. All right.	0:42:38	0:42:39
That's exactly what I'm talking about.	0:42:39	0:42:41
No, no, no, no. We need to keep our distance.	0:42:41	0:42:43
Just stop. Stay away.	0:42:43	0:42:44
Towel. Stop. OK.	0:42:44	0:42:45
I'm sorry.	0:42:45	0:42:46
Thank you.	0:42:46	0:42:48
And, you know, stop reading my book, OK?	0:42:48	0:42:50
Just stop. Why?	0:42:50	0:42:52
And that salsa thing you do.	0:42:52	0:42:54
What are you talking about?	0:42:54	0:42:56
The salsa dance. This...this thing.	0:42:56	0:42:58
If you could just not do that...	0:42:58	0:43:00
GIGGLING	0:43:00	0:43:01
If you would just stop doing that as a rule,	0:43:01	0:43:03
It would be very helpful to me,	0:43:03	0:43:05
And there are other things you could do, such as not exist.	0:43:05	0:43:07
Oh, thank you.	0:43:07	0:43:08
Not...yeah, I said it.	0:43:08	0:43:10
I said it. I didn't mean it, but I said it.	0:43:10	0:43:12
And you know what else I'm going to do?	0:43:12	0:43:14
I am going to make myself less attractive	0:43:14	0:43:18
so as to not encourage any inappropriate...	0:43:18	0:43:20
Ha ha ha ha!	0:43:20	0:43:22
OK, that's hilarious. But, you know what? I...	0:43:22	0:43:24
Ha ha ha! No. I'm going to stop thinking about you.	0:43:24	0:43:27
Good. I will.	0:43:27	0:43:29
And if I start thinking about you,	0:43:29	0:43:33
which may happen in a moment of...of...	0:43:33	0:43:35
Weakness? Weakness,	0:43:35	0:43:36
I am going to focus all of my thoughts on your flaws.	0:43:36	0:43:39
My flaws? Your flaws.	0:43:39	0:43:41
And they are?	0:43:41	0:43:42
I have no idea, but you can rest assured	0:43:42	0:43:44
that I am going to find...	0:43:44	0:43:46
I'm...I'm in here.	0:43:46	0:43:47
Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you taking a shower?	0:43:47	0:43:49
Yes, I'm taking a shower. Oh.	0:43:49	0:43:51
Well, a little advice... old house, old pipes.	0:43:51	0:43:53
Thank you. Thanks. Yeah.	0:43:53	0:43:55
Um...	0:43:55	0:43:57
Can I talk to you about something?	0:43:57	0:43:59
Sure.	0:43:59	0:44:00
Could we just keep this between us?	0:44:00	0:44:03
It's just...it was...	0:44:03	0:44:05
When you talked to us about your life last night,	0:44:08	0:44:11
you know, the importance of travel and trying new things,	0:44:11	0:44:13
you know, and I just started thinking about amazing, um,	0:44:13	0:44:20
all of that, you know, how much...	0:44:20	0:44:22
You know, that looks like it's ready.	0:44:22	0:44:24
Ah.	0:44:24	0:44:25
Right. Um...	0:44:25	0:44:27
But, just...	0:44:29	0:44:30
Oh, you're... you're still dressed.	0:44:30	0:44:32
Oh, uh...	0:44:32	0:44:34
I'll look away. I'm not going to... I'll look over here.	0:44:35	0:44:37
Anyway, so it just... I just realized, you know, really...	0:44:37	0:44:41
Um...	0:44:41	0:44:43
You know, I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do,	0:44:43	0:44:47
You know, in the future,	0:44:47	0:44:48
like not just for school, but...	0:44:48	0:44:50
I just have to figure out exactly what I want to do with my life.	0:44:50	0:44:53
I mean, I know if I go somewhere new	0:44:53	0:44:55
and, you know, try new things,	0:44:55	0:44:58
but it's just hard to figure out,	0:44:58	0:45:00
you know, your place, like where you should be.	0:45:00	0:45:03
Right.	0:45:03	0:45:04
And to have that experience, you know,	0:45:04	0:45:06
which is, you know, what it's all about, you know?	0:45:06	0:45:11
Right.	0:45:11	0:45:12
But it's also...	0:45:12	0:45:14
I mean, it's also terrifying	0:45:14	0:45:16
realizing what you want	0:45:16	0:45:18
is what you want, you know what I mean?	0:45:18	0:45:21
You know, I think it's so...	0:45:21	0:45:23
It's not... it's interesting	0:45:23	0:45:27
the way that you can end up somewhere...	0:45:27	0:45:29
Shh.	0:45:29	0:45:30
Other than where you, um...	0:45:30	0:45:33
Oh!	0:45:39	0:45:40
GROANS	0:45:44	0:45:46
Lunch!	0:45:50	0:45:52
OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS	0:45:52	0:45:54
Mac and cheese. Nothing better.	0:45:56	0:45:58
Adults are in the dining room.	0:45:58	0:46:00
You know, I think I'm going to mix it up	0:46:00	0:46:03
and sit with my peeps. What can I do?	0:46:03	0:46:05
Dan.	0:46:05	0:46:06
Oh, please, just let me be.	0:46:06	0:46:09
Dan: Hey, guys.	0:46:17	0:46:18
Hi, Uncle Dan. Hey.	0:46:18	0:46:20
Hi, Uncle Dan.	0:46:20	0:46:21
Aah!	0:46:29	0:46:31
Hello?	0:46:44	0:46:46
GIGGLING	0:46:50	0:46:52
LILLY GIGGLING	0:46:52	0:46:54
Hi.	0:46:58	0:46:59
Hi. What's going on?	0:46:59	0:47:01
Marie's helping me with something.	0:47:01	0:47:03
We're having no fun at all.	0:47:03	0:47:05
Yeah, I can see that.	0:47:05	0:47:07
How's she doing?	0:47:07	0:47:08
She's amazing.	0:47:08	0:47:10
Bye, Dad.	0:47:10	0:47:11
Bye.	0:47:11	0:47:13
Bye.	0:47:13	0:47:14
Bye.	0:47:14	0:47:16
So, you were saying?	0:47:17	0:47:18
Oh, yeah. And I was trying to make, like, you know...	0:47:18	0:47:22
I'm trying to make, like, a little heart, but, you know,	0:47:22	0:47:25
I didn't know how to even draw a heart,	0:47:25	0:47:27
so I cut it and it came out...	0:47:27	0:47:29
like, it was so... it came out like a...	0:47:29	0:47:32
like a star.	0:47:32	0:47:34
KNOCKING Yeah?	0:47:34	0:47:36
DOOR OPENS Nana: Dan? Hmm?	0:47:36	0:47:37
Hi. Hey.	0:47:37	0:47:39
Honey, you know we're worried about you.	0:47:39	0:47:41
You know that. And with your	0:47:41	0:47:43
behaviour last night and this morning,	0:47:43	0:47:45
we are now officially worried.	0:47:45	0:47:48
Well, thanks. I'm touched,	0:47:48	0:47:50
But I'm...I'm fine. Don't...	0:47:50	0:47:53
We're having a private conversation.	0:47:53	0:47:55
Come on in. No, come on in. This is good.	0:47:55	0:47:58
We'd like to talk to you. Go ahead. I'm all ears.	0:47:58	0:48:01
Well, you know...	0:48:01	0:48:03
You do so much for your girls.	0:48:03	0:48:06
And you do so much for all of us. Right.	0:48:06	0:48:08
What are you doing for yourself?	0:48:08	0:48:10
No, guys... Come on in.	0:48:10	0:48:12
I just want you to think about that. It's fine.	0:48:12	0:48:15
Honey, we'd like to speak with you privately. Stay, please. Go ahead, Mom.	0:48:15	0:48:18
Nana? Yes, honey?	0:48:18	0:48:19
Is this because Uncle Dan's acting so weird?	0:48:19	0:48:20
Yes, it is. Yes, sweetie, but you know,	0:48:20	0:48:22
there's an explanation for all that weirdness.	0:48:22	0:48:24
Please tell us. And I just wanted to talk to you.	0:48:24	0:48:26
Dude, you got to be way backed up,	0:48:26	0:48:28
so I just hope, from time to time,	0:48:28	0:48:30
You are treating yourself to a little...	0:48:30	0:48:31
Oh... Oh, God!	0:48:31	0:48:33
I talked to my urologist about this. That's enough!	0:48:33	0:48:35
Come on!	0:48:35	0:48:36
What are you talking about, man?	0:48:36	0:48:38
Amy: The real question, the one no one will ask is,	0:48:38	0:48:41
will Dan ever find love again?	0:48:41	0:48:43
No, he won't. Howard.	0:48:43	0:48:45
No, I...I'm sorry. You won't.	0:48:45	0:48:47
What I'm saying is, I mean, if you're open to it, love will find you.	0:48:47	0:48:50
Oh...	0:48:50	0:48:52
Hey, people.	0:48:52	0:48:53
And perfect.	0:48:53	0:48:54
LAUGHING	0:48:54	0:48:56
I don't think I was being clear before,	0:48:56	0:48:58
but you got to unclog that drain, you know?	0:48:58	0:49:00
You got to unplug that problem.	0:49:00	0:49:01
I mixed a metaphor there. Yes, you did.	0:49:01	0:49:04
OK, so far what you've missed is	0:49:04	0:49:06
worried, love will find, unclog the drain.	0:49:06	0:49:09
Well, thanks.	0:49:09	0:49:12
That is it. No.	0:49:12	0:49:13
We are done. No, that's not it.	0:49:13	0:49:16
That's not it.	0:49:16	0:49:17
We met Margo Draper's daughter	0:49:17	0:49:20
at the farmer's market.	0:49:20	0:49:22
She asked all about you.	0:49:22	0:49:24
You see, Danny, you got to have a little fun.	0:49:24	0:49:26
Which means that Ruthie Draper is going to pick you up	0:49:26	0:49:30
at 6:00, and you're going to have drinks.	0:49:30	0:49:32
I don't even remember... You're going to go on a date!	0:49:32	0:49:35
No, no, no, no. I'm not going on a date, Mom.	0:49:35	0:49:37
Yes, honey. It's time.	0:49:37	0:49:39
Ruthie "pigface" Draper.	0:49:39	0:49:41
Mitch!	0:49:41	0:49:43
Not pigface Draper.	0:49:43	0:49:45
I'm sorry. That is downright cruel.	0:49:45	0:49:47
Poppy: Nothing cruel about it...	0:49:47	0:49:48
Mom, I don't even remember Ruthie Pigfaced Draper.	0:49:48	0:49:52
I don't want to go!	0:49:52	0:49:53
I don't want to go with the pigface.	0:49:53	0:49:56
He's going. No, I'm not.	0:49:56	0:49:58
It's been decided.	0:49:58	0:50:00
I don't even remember Pigface Draper.	0:50:00	0:50:02
This is a blind date. We will double, OK?	0:50:02	0:50:04
It'll be fun. Right, Marie?	0:50:04	0:50:06
Yes, it... it will be fun.	0:50:06	0:50:09
OINKS	0:50:09	0:50:10
LAUGHTER	0:50:10	0:50:12
That's my girl.	0:50:12	0:50:13
LAUGHTER	0:50:13	0:50:15
Come on. It'll be swine...fine!	0:50:15	0:50:17
Ha ha ha! I'm sorry.	0:50:17	0:50:19
Go hog-wild.	0:50:19	0:50:22
PIANO PLAYING	0:50:22	0:50:24
OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS	0:50:24	0:50:26
# Pigface	0:50:35	0:50:36
# Draper There.	0:50:36	0:50:38
# Ruthie, Ruthie	0:50:38	0:50:41
# Pigface. #	0:50:41	0:50:43
All right, all right.	0:50:43	0:50:46
# There's a girl coming over here	0:50:49	0:50:53
# She's on her way right now	0:50:53	0:50:56
# She's driving here to meet Danny	0:50:58	0:51:02
# What's her name	0:51:04	0:51:05
# Ruthie	0:51:05	0:51:07
# Pigface	0:51:07	0:51:08
# Draper	0:51:08	0:51:10
# Ru...	0:51:11	0:51:12
# Ruthie	0:51:12	0:51:13
# She's living in a house of bricks	0:51:13	0:51:15
# Not straw or sticks	0:51:15	0:51:18
LAUGHTER	0:51:19	0:51:21
# I'll be your big bad wolf	0:51:21	0:51:24
# I love your cute curly tail. #	0:51:25	0:51:27
LAUGHTER	0:51:27	0:51:29
All right.	0:51:31	0:51:32
Mitch: Here we go.	0:51:32	0:51:34
# This little piggy went to market	0:51:34	0:51:37
# Oh, yeah	0:51:37	0:51:38
# This little piggy stayed home	0:51:38	0:51:41
# This little piggy had roast beef	0:51:41	0:51:45
# This little piggy had none	0:51:45	0:51:48
# This little piggy had...	0:51:48	0:51:51
# Wee, wee, wee, wee... SNICKERS	0:51:52	0:51:53
# Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee	0:51:53	0:51:55
# All the way home Sing it. #	0:51:55	0:51:57
That's very good.	0:51:57	0:51:59
KNOCKING	0:51:59	0:52:01
Woman: I remember it.	0:52:01	0:52:03
It's really... It's beau...hello! Hi!	0:52:03	0:52:05
Nana: Everybody, this is Ruthie Draper.	0:52:05	0:52:08
You know everybody. Yes. Hi, everyone.	0:52:08	0:52:11
Clay: Nice to see you again, Ruthie.	0:52:11	0:52:13
Hello, Dan.	0:52:13	0:52:14
Hi.	0:52:14	0:52:16
I'd know you anywhere. I mean, you look just the same.	0:52:16	0:52:19
Dan: Ruthie,	0:52:19	0:52:22
You... look great.	0:52:22	0:52:26
LAUGHTER	0:52:26	0:52:27
Funny. No, no, no. So...	0:52:27	0:52:29
Harvard medical, Johns Hopkins.	0:52:29	0:52:32
I mean, you're certainly doing well for yourself, Ruthie.	0:52:32	0:52:33
Yeah, it's impressive.	0:52:33	0:52:35
Must not leave enough time, though, for dating.	0:52:35	0:52:39
There was someone	0:52:39	0:52:41
who was very special in my life, but, um...	0:52:41	0:52:45
He was lost in a freak accident.	0:52:47	0:52:50
I'm so sorry.	0:52:50	0:52:52
Thank you.	0:52:53	0:52:55
What's weird is that	0:52:55	0:52:58
we'd only known each other 3 days.	0:52:58	0:53:00
But it's...you know, how sometimes you just know?	0:53:00	0:53:04
Yes. Yes.	0:53:04	0:53:05
Yes. Absolutely, yes.	0:53:05	0:53:07
Yeah.	0:53:07	0:53:08
So you're a doctor? Yes.	0:53:08	0:53:10
And what's your, um, specialty?	0:53:10	0:53:12
Um, I'm a plastic surgeon.	0:53:13	0:53:16
Oh. Of course you are. Now, no.	0:53:16	0:53:17
I know, I know, I know what you're thinking,	0:53:17	0:53:20
but I work exclusively with burn victims	0:53:20	0:53:22
and children born with facial deformities.	0:53:22	0:53:24
Oh.	0:53:24	0:53:25
She is basically a saint.	0:53:25	0:53:27
GIGGLES No, it's just...	0:53:27	0:53:29
You know, I'm just doing my little bit to help,	0:53:29	0:53:31
I think, just like your brother.	0:53:31	0:53:34
Oh, stop. I'm...	0:53:34	0:53:35
Sometimes when I can't sleep at night,	0:53:35	0:53:38
I go online and I read your past columns.	0:53:38	0:53:41
Have you read Dan?	0:53:41	0:53:43
Only his fiction.	0:53:43	0:53:45
You're in for such a treat.	0:53:45	0:53:47
Really. I mean, what...	0:53:47	0:53:49
What you said... the mother of couch potato?	0:53:49	0:53:52
Mm-hmm. "Hide the remote.	0:53:52	0:53:54
"So what if he has to get up and change the channel?	0:53:54	0:53:56
"At least it's exercise." brilliant! Ha ha!	0:53:56	0:53:58
And the parents of the five picky eaters,	0:53:58	0:54:01
and they had to make individual meals for each kid	0:54:01	0:54:04
and "what are you, a restaurant?"	0:54:04	0:54:06
Right. Brilliant.	0:54:06	0:54:08
She knows your every word.	0:54:08	0:54:09
All I'm saying, all I'm saying is	0:54:09	0:54:10
that I don't have kids,	0:54:10	0:54:13
and I don't have problems.	0:54:13	0:54:15
But it's clear	0:54:15	0:54:17
that if I do one day,	0:54:17	0:54:19
your words will bring me comfort.	0:54:19	0:54:21
"FEVER" ON JUKEBOX	0:54:25	0:54:27
I'm sorry.	0:54:31	0:54:32
I'm just going to have to excuse myself.	0:54:32	0:54:34
I can't help it.	0:54:34	0:54:35
# She said "Daddy, oh, don't you dare	0:54:35	0:54:37
# Give me fever	0:54:37	0:54:39
# With his kisses	0:54:41	0:54:42
# Fever when he holds me tight	0:54:42	0:54:45
# Fever	0:54:45	0:54:46
# I'm his missis...#	0:54:46	0:54:48
Dude, I'm sorry, but any girl that moves like that,	0:54:48	0:54:51
I mean, a guy has got to wonder.	0:54:51	0:54:53
Hey, man.	0:54:53	0:54:54
Oh, no, no, she's cool, really.	0:54:54	0:54:55
You're cool, right? Yeah. Of course.	0:54:55	0:54:57
I'm cool,	0:54:57	0:54:59
But I don't think Dan is interested in her.	0:54:59	0:55:01
He's not?	0:55:01	0:55:03
I'm not?	0:55:03	0:55:05
I don't think you are.	0:55:05	0:55:07
Are you?	0:55:07	0:55:08
# When you kiss them	0:55:08	0:55:09
# Fever if you live and learn	0:55:09	0:55:12
# Fever	0:55:12	0:55:14
# Till you sizzle	0:55:14	0:55:16
# What a lovely way...#	0:55:16	0:55:17
Oh.	0:55:17	0:55:18
Look nice.	0:55:18	0:55:20
Mitch: Ha ha ha! All right! Yeah!	0:55:20	0:55:22
I don't know what it was,	0:55:22	0:55:25
but something was holding him back.	0:55:25	0:55:27
Not anymore.	0:55:27	0:55:29
Mitch: Well, that's a beautiful thing.	0:55:29	0:55:31
"NASTY GIRL" ON JUKEBOX	0:55:31	0:55:34
# That's right pleased to meet you	0:55:35	0:55:37
# Still don't want to tell you my name	0:55:37	0:55:39
# Don't you believe in mystery	0:55:39	0:55:40
# Don't you want to play my game	0:55:40	0:55:43
# I'm looking for a man to love me	0:55:43	0:55:45
# Like I've never been loved before	0:55:45	0:55:46
# I'm looking for a man That'll do it # Mitch: Yeah!	0:55:46	0:55:48
# Even on a limousine floor #	0:55:48	0:55:50
# Tonight I'm living In a fantasy #	0:55:50	0:55:52
OK. # My own little nasty world	0:55:52	0:55:54
# Tonight don't you want to come with me? We're coming.	0:55:54	0:55:56
# Do you think I'm a nasty girl	0:55:56	0:55:58
# Tonight I'm living in a fantasy	0:55:58	0:56:00
# My own little nasty world	0:56:00	0:56:01
# Tonight don't you want to come with me	0:56:01	0:56:03
# Do you think I'm a nasty girl	0:56:03	0:56:05
# I guess I'm just used to sailors	0:56:05	0:56:07
# I think they got water on the brain	0:56:07	0:56:09
# I think they got more water upstairs	0:56:09	0:56:11
# Than they got sugar on a candy cane	0:56:11	0:56:12
# That's right It's been a long time	0:56:12	0:56:14
# Since I had a man that did it real good Ha!	0:56:14	0:56:17
# If you ain't scared Take it out	0:56:17	0:56:18
# I'll do it like A real live nasty girl should	0:56:18	0:56:20
# Tonight I'm living In a fantasy	0:56:20	0:56:22
# My own little nasty world	0:56:22	0:56:24
# Tonight don't you want To come with me	0:56:24	0:56:26
# Do you think I'm a nasty girl	0:56:26	0:56:27
# Tonight I'm living in a fantasy	0:56:27	0:56:29
# My own little nasty world. # Whoo!	0:56:29	0:56:31
# Tonight don't you want to come with me	0:56:31	0:56:33
# Do you think I'm a nasty girl	0:56:33	0:56:35
RUTHIE GIGGLES	0:56:35	0:56:37
Ha ha!	0:56:37	0:56:39
Ha ha! All right. OK.	0:56:40	0:56:43
Home again, home again.	0:56:43	0:56:45
I really love your car.	0:56:45	0:56:47
Oh, thank you.	0:56:47	0:56:48
Bye. Bye.	0:56:48	0:56:49
Nice meeting you, um...uh, Ruth.	0:56:49	0:56:51
Yeah, you, too. Come on, guys.	0:56:51	0:56:53
Actually, Dan and I are going to go for a little drive.	0:56:53	0:56:56
Don't wait up.	0:56:57	0:56:59
CAR DOOR CLOSES	0:57:00	0:57:02
ENGINE STARTS	0:57:02	0:57:04
Clay: Just fantastic.	0:57:14	0:57:15
Mmm. Yeah.	0:57:15	0:57:16
Mitch: I know what the secret ingredient is...love.	0:57:16	0:57:19
Hmm. Better and better with every bite.	0:57:19	0:57:21
Words cannot describe.	0:57:21	0:57:24
Well, how are they?	0:57:24	0:57:25
Dad, they're scrumptious. Mm-hmm.	0:57:25	0:57:27
Truly mouth-watering.	0:57:27	0:57:29
I'm almost on my third stack.	0:57:29	0:57:31
More, please.	0:57:31	0:57:32
Nothing to stop you, right, Gus? Nope.	0:57:32	0:57:34
It's a secret recipe,	0:57:34	0:57:36
But she let me crack the eggs.	0:57:36	0:57:37
Dan: Yeah?	0:57:37	0:57:39
So, uh, how's Captain Lucky doing this morning, huh?	0:57:39	0:57:41
Oh, uh, it was fun. Yeah?	0:57:41	0:57:43
Heard you worked up quite the appetite last night.	0:57:43	0:57:46
Could I have one more there?	0:57:48	0:57:49
Here you go. Thank you. Dan: you know what? Actually,	0:57:49	0:57:51
I am a little hungry.	0:57:51	0:57:53
Mitch: Secret recipe right here.	0:57:53	0:57:54
Thank you.	0:57:56	0:57:57
So, did you uncork?	0:57:59	0:58:01
SLAMS DRAWER	0:58:02	0:58:03
Mitch: Whatever did or did not happen,	0:58:03	0:58:05
no one deserves someone more than you.	0:58:05	0:58:06
There you go.	0:58:06	0:58:08
Gus: Let's go. Football. You promised. Please.	0:58:08	0:58:10
Clay: Coin toss outside.	0:58:10	0:58:12
Lilly: Yummy.	0:58:17	0:58:18
# I've been talking to the wall... #	0:58:29	0:58:30
Go, go, go!	0:58:30	0:58:32
SHOUTING	0:58:32	0:58:35
# How I miss you	0:58:35	0:58:37
# I'm just the mere shadow of my former selfishness	0:58:37	0:58:40
# I crave the silhouette... #	0:58:40	0:58:41
Ho ho! Nice! Nice!	0:58:41	0:58:44
# With only the blue light Of the TV on	0:58:44	0:58:45
# Lip-reading threats And false alarms	0:58:45	0:58:48
# There's a boy somewhere Holding hands with himself	0:58:48	0:58:51
# And a girl in the window On the reeperbarn	0:58:51	0:58:55
# Whenever I put my foot in my mouth and you begin to doubt	0:58:55	0:58:58
# That it's you that I'm dreaming about	0:58:58	0:59:01
# Do I have to draw you a diagram	0:59:01	0:59:03
# All I ever want is just to fall into your human hands. #	0:59:03	0:59:08
Ah!	0:59:08	0:59:09
All right. Line up, line up. Here we go.	0:59:09	0:59:11
Down here.	0:59:11	0:59:13
# All you toy soldiers and scaremongers	0:59:15	0:59:18
# Are you living in this world Sometimes I wonder	0:59:18	0:59:21
# In between saying... #	0:59:21	0:59:22
Go, Marie!	0:59:22	0:59:23
# ...too much and saying	0:59:23	0:59:25
# You've seen it all before Aah!	0:59:25	0:59:27
# Tighter and tighter I hold you tightly	0:59:27	0:59:31
# You know I love you	0:59:31	0:59:33
# More than slightly	0:59:33	0:59:34
# Although I've never said it like this before	0:59:34	0:59:38
# Whenever I put my foot in my mouth... #	0:59:38	0:59:42
Why you're persisting acting like a 15-year-old is beyond me.	0:59:44	0:59:46
I'm filled with reckless desire.	0:59:46	0:59:48
You ought to be filled with greater restraint.	0:59:48	0:59:50
What does that mean?	0:59:50	0:59:52
I think you know what that means.	0:59:52	0:59:53
PHONE RINGING	0:59:53	0:59:56
Dad, could you...?	0:59:57	0:59:59
Oh, yeah. Thanks.	0:59:59	1:00:01
Hello?	1:00:02	1:00:04
No, I'm his dad.	1:00:04	1:00:06
Someone named Jordy for you.	1:00:07	1:00:09
SHOUTING	1:00:09	1:00:10
BELL RINGING	1:00:10	1:00:12
Everybody, everybody!	1:00:12	1:00:15
Dan just got a phone call!	1:00:15	1:00:17
Poppy: And, you know, syndication is everything for a columnist.	1:00:17	1:00:20
OK, all right. Let me explain.	1:00:20	1:00:22
Um...	1:00:22	1:00:23
I've been asked to meet	1:00:23	1:00:25
with the head mucky-mucks	1:00:25	1:00:28
of the Lamson Newspaper Group.	1:00:28	1:00:30
They're driving down tomorrow,	1:00:30	1:00:32
and they are going to sit down	1:00:32	1:00:35
with me.	1:00:35	1:00:36
CHEERING	1:00:36	1:00:39
Maybe you should get the job first, Dan.	1:00:39	1:00:41
Yes, that's true.	1:00:41	1:00:43
Marie!	1:00:45	1:00:47
# Come to me. #	1:00:47	1:00:48
Well?	1:00:50	1:00:51
Wow. Wow.	1:00:53	1:00:56
SIGHS Dad.	1:00:57	1:00:59
CHUCKLES Dad...	1:00:59	1:01:01
Lilly just asked me why you were flirting with Marie.	1:01:01	1:01:04
I wasn't flirting.	1:01:06	1:01:07
Don't worry. I covered for you.	1:01:07	1:01:09
I told her it was nothing.	1:01:09	1:01:11
Because it was.	1:01:11	1:01:13
Dad.	1:01:13	1:01:14
I'm 17, OK?	1:01:14	1:01:16
You were so flirting.	1:01:16	1:01:18
It doesn't matter anyway.	1:01:19	1:01:21
It's not like she's the least bit interested in you.	1:01:21	1:01:23
You need to cool it, OK?	1:01:23	1:01:26
And, um, congratulations.	1:01:31	1:01:34
Thanks.	1:01:34	1:01:36
# My hands are shaking	1:01:36	1:01:38
# From carrying this torch	1:01:38	1:01:40
# From carrying this torch For you	1:01:40	1:01:45
Come on, let's go.	1:01:45	1:01:46
# My lips are bleeding	1:01:46	1:01:48
# From kissing you good-bye	1:01:48	1:01:51
# From kissing you good-bye every night	1:01:51	1:01:56
# My sheets are tearing	1:01:56	1:01:59
# From sleeping in too long	1:01:59	1:02:01
# From sleeping in too long... # Hey!	1:02:01	1:02:03
# With you	1:02:03	1:02:05
# My hands are shaking	1:02:05	1:02:09
# From carrying this torch	1:02:09	1:02:10
# From carrying this torch for you. #	1:02:10	1:02:14
Aah!	1:02:14	1:02:16
Look, he took a bus here.	1:02:16	1:02:18
He has relatives in Boston. Dad.	1:02:18	1:02:21
Dad, he loves me!	1:02:21	1:02:23
OK.	1:02:24	1:02:25
You don't have to worry.	1:02:25	1:02:28
When it comes to sex,	1:02:28	1:02:30
Marty is the one who wants to wait.	1:02:30	1:02:32
What about that sentence is supposed to give me comfort?	1:02:32	1:02:36
Dad, I love him.	1:02:36	1:02:37
I love him. Oh...	1:02:37	1:02:39
I love him, I love him, I love him.	1:02:39	1:02:42
No, you don't.	1:02:42	1:02:43
What we have is true love.	1:02:43	1:02:45
Just because you don't have it	1:02:45	1:02:47
doesn't mean you have to punish us.	1:02:47	1:02:50
Infatuation,	1:02:50	1:02:51
sexual attraction,	1:02:51	1:02:54
is not love.	1:02:54	1:02:55
You don't understand.	1:02:55	1:02:56
CHUCKLING I don't understand?	1:02:56	1:02:58
No. You don't even understand that you don't understand.	1:02:58	1:03:00
What don't I understand, Cara? Please, help me out.	1:03:00	1:03:04
What is it? That it's frustrating you can't be with this person?	1:03:04	1:03:06
That...that there's something keeping you apart,	1:03:06	1:03:09
That there's something about this person you really connect with?	1:03:09	1:03:11
And whenever you're near this person,	1:03:11	1:03:14
you don't know what to say and you say everything	1:03:14	1:03:16
that's in your mind and in your heart.	1:03:16	1:03:18
And you know that if you could just be together,	1:03:18	1:03:20
that this person would help you become the best possible version of yourself?	1:03:20	1:03:24
So Marty can stay?	1:03:24	1:03:26
LAUGHING	1:03:29	1:03:31
I'm sorry.	1:03:32	1:03:34
I'm sorry.	1:03:36	1:03:38
LAUGHING	1:03:38	1:03:41
"Marty can stay"?	1:03:45	1:03:47
Howard is going to drive you to the bus,	1:03:47	1:03:50
We called your aunt. She'll be waitin in Boston. Yes, sir.	1:03:50	1:03:52
Look, I'm not your parent, but I think	1:03:52	1:03:55
you should know love is a dangerous feeling.	1:03:55	1:03:57
No, sir. Are you arguing with me?	1:03:57	1:03:59
No, I'm...	1:03:59	1:04:01
It's just... SPEAKS SPANISH	1:04:01	1:04:05
"Love is not a feeling. It's an ability."	1:04:06	1:04:09
Who told you that?	1:04:09	1:04:10
Made it up, Mr Burns.	1:04:10	1:04:13
DOOR CLOSES	1:04:15	1:04:17
Come say good-bye.	1:04:17	1:04:19
SOBBING	1:04:21	1:04:23
Window.	1:04:23	1:04:24
I miss you so much already. OK, that's it.	1:04:24	1:04:26
Jane: Dad. She'll see him again soon enough.	1:04:26	1:04:29
CRYING No! No!	1:04:31	1:04:34
No!	1:04:34	1:04:35
CRYING	1:04:38	1:04:40
How sweet.	1:04:40	1:04:42
What's sweet? How... how is that sweet?	1:04:42	1:04:44
To be that certain, to feel so much love.	1:04:47	1:04:50
CRYING	1:04:50	1:04:52
Love isn't a feeling.	1:04:52	1:04:54
No?	1:04:54	1:04:56
It's an ability.	1:04:57	1:05:00
Well, if that's true, you have one gifted daughter.	1:05:02	1:05:06
You are a...	1:05:08	1:05:10
a murderer of love!	1:05:10	1:05:13
CRYING	1:05:15	1:05:17
OK, Cara. Next?	1:05:19	1:05:22
Olivia has something with the girls.	1:05:22	1:05:24
Gus will be doing his usual.	1:05:24	1:05:26
Bella is on the fence. Howard and I want to sing.	1:05:26	1:05:29
Jane: Oh, that's nice.	1:05:29	1:05:30
Aunt Eileen?	1:05:30	1:05:32
Dan: Put me down. Oh, really? What's your talent?	1:05:32	1:05:34
Murderer of love.	1:05:34	1:05:35
You were saying?	1:05:35	1:05:38
Eileen: We have something planned for the whole family.	1:05:38	1:05:40
Put us all down.	1:05:40	1:05:42
TAMBOURINE RATTLES	1:05:42	1:05:45
LAUGHTER	1:05:47	1:05:49
Whoo!	1:05:49	1:05:51
Ha!	1:05:51	1:05:52
CHEERING	1:05:52	1:05:54
What's your dad's talent?	1:05:54	1:05:57
Doesn't have one.	1:05:57	1:05:59
He's the only one excused from participating.	1:05:59	1:06:01
Jane: Look.	1:06:01	1:06:03
I give you Bella Wilson.	1:06:03	1:06:04
Poppy: Hey, Bella. Whoo!	1:06:04	1:06:06
Chihuahua	1:06:06	1:06:08
BARKING	1:06:08	1:06:10
You OK? I don't have anything.	1:06:12	1:06:14
Do what you always do.	1:06:14	1:06:16
Marie is not a lip-synch kind of girl.	1:06:16	1:06:18
I got to do something special.	1:06:18	1:06:20
Just...be yourself.	1:06:20	1:06:23
Woof! Woof!	1:06:27	1:06:29
LAUGHTER	1:06:29	1:06:30
That's all.	1:06:33	1:06:34
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING	1:06:34	1:06:36
This is for Marty.	1:06:42	1:06:44
Mmm.	1:06:44	1:06:46
Mm-mmm.	1:06:46	1:06:48
DRUMMING	1:06:52	1:06:55
DRUMMING STOPS	1:07:02	1:07:06
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING	1:07:06	1:07:08
DRUMMING	1:07:08	1:07:09
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE	1:07:15	1:07:19
# Andiam, andiam, mio bene	1:07:19	1:07:22
# A ristorar la pene	1:07:22	1:07:25
# A risto...	1:07:25	1:07:27
# Amor	1:07:27	1:07:29
Amy: # Andiam, andiam, mio bene	1:07:29	1:07:31
# A ristorar...	1:07:31	1:07:33
I got an idea.	1:07:33	1:07:35
I'm sure it'll be great.	1:07:35	1:07:36
It could be.	1:07:36	1:07:38
# ..Amor! #	1:07:38	1:07:40
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE	1:07:40	1:07:42
Whoo!	1:07:42	1:07:43
Jane: OK, and last but not least, Uncle Mitch.	1:07:43	1:07:46
Uh, someone very wise... my brother...	1:07:46	1:07:50
Once told me that if you...	1:07:50	1:07:52
want to be completely honest,	1:07:52	1:07:55
sing.	1:07:55	1:07:57
By the way, I'd like to introduce my band.	1:07:57	1:08:00
APPLAUSE	1:08:00	1:08:02
I don't believe it.	1:08:02	1:08:03
He hasn't played since she...	1:08:03	1:08:06
PLAYING "Let my love open the door"	1:08:06	1:08:09
# When people keep repeating	1:08:13	1:08:16
# That you'll never fall in love	1:08:16	1:08:19
# When everybody keeps retreating	1:08:19	1:08:22
# And you can't seem to get enough	1:08:22	1:08:25
# Let my love open the door	1:08:26	1:08:29
# Let my love open the door	1:08:29	1:08:33
# Let my love open the door	1:08:33	1:08:36
# To your heart My love open the door #	1:08:36	1:08:39
# Let my love open	1:08:39	1:08:41
# The door	1:08:41	1:08:43
Both: # When everything feels all over	1:08:43	1:08:46
# When everybody seems unkind	1:08:46	1:08:50
# I'll give you a 4-leaf clover	1:08:50	1:08:53
# Take all the worries out of your mind	1:08:53	1:08:57
# I have the only key to your heart	1:08:58	1:09:02
# I can stop you from falling apart	1:09:02	1:09:05
# Release yourself From misery	1:09:05	1:09:08
# Only one thing going to set you free	1:09:08	1:09:12
Both: # And that's my love	1:09:12	1:09:15
# And that's my love	1:09:15	1:09:16
Ah!	1:09:16	1:09:18
# Let my love open the door	1:09:18	1:09:21
# Let my love open the door	1:09:21	1:09:24
# Let my love open the door	1:09:24	1:09:28
# Door # Let my love...	1:09:28	1:09:30
# Let my love open the door # Open the door	1:09:30	1:09:31
# To your heart # Let my love open the door	1:09:31	1:09:33
# Let my love open the door	1:09:33	1:09:35
# To your heart. #	1:09:35	1:09:37
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING	1:09:37	1:09:39
Bravo, baby!	1:09:39	1:09:41
# When tragedy befalls you	1:09:47	1:09:50
# Don't let them bring you down	1:09:50	1:09:54
# Love can cure your problems	1:09:56	1:09:59
(VOICE CRACKING) # You're so lucky that I'm around	1:09:59	1:10:03
# Let my love open the door	1:10:04	1:10:08
# Let my love open the door	1:10:09	1:10:14
# Let my love open the door	1:10:14	1:10:18
# To your heart. #	1:10:18	1:10:21
APPLAUSE	1:10:22	1:10:24
What he said.	1:10:24	1:10:26
Woo hoo!	1:10:29	1:10:31
Whoo!	1:10:33	1:10:34
Clay: Great job, guys.	1:10:34	1:10:37
KNOCKING	1:10:37	1:10:39
(WHISPERED) what was that?	1:10:46	1:10:48
I couldn't...	1:10:48	1:10:49
I couldn't stop myself.	1:10:49	1:10:51
What am I supposed to do now?	1:10:51	1:10:53
Can't do anything.	1:10:53	1:10:55
He's my brother.	1:10:55	1:10:57
Why did you sing for me then?	1:10:57	1:11:00
Because I...	1:11:00	1:11:02
I'm...	1:11:02	1:11:04
Page 92...	1:11:07	1:11:09
"Did I just die because an angel walked into the room?"	1:11:09	1:11:12
Page 148...uh, "I'll forgive you your past if you forgive me mine."	1:11:12	1:11:17
It seems all his best lines were yours.	1:11:17	1:11:20
It's unbearable.	1:11:23	1:11:25
I...	1:11:25	1:11:27
I can't keep pretending.	1:11:27	1:11:29
DOOR OPENS	1:11:29	1:11:32
KNOCKING	1:11:43	1:11:45
Lilly: Dad?	1:11:45	1:11:46
Yeah, peanut?	1:11:46	1:11:48
Will you come up to my room?	1:11:48	1:11:49
I want to show you something I made.	1:11:49	1:11:51
Um, we'll do it tomorrow, OK, sweetie?	1:11:51	1:11:53
I promise.	1:11:53	1:11:55
OK, Dad.	1:11:57	1:11:59
Clay: Oh, God.	1:12:04	1:12:06
MUTTERING	1:12:10	1:12:12
Hey, what's going on? Shh.	1:12:12	1:12:15
My singing. I shouldn't have sang. I know this.	1:12:20	1:12:23
CHUCKLING	1:12:23	1:12:24
It was a bad song. I...	1:12:24	1:12:26
Is she crying or laughing?	1:12:26	1:12:29
No, no. Oh, please.	1:12:33	1:12:35
Mitch: Marie.	1:12:37	1:12:38
ENGINE STARTS	1:12:38	1:12:40
Clay: Here he comes.	1:12:50	1:12:51
Mitch: Mom?	1:12:51	1:12:52
No, no, no.	1:12:52	1:12:53
I just...I don't know what to say to him.	1:12:53	1:12:55
I've never lost a girl.	1:12:55	1:12:57
Poppy: This is a first.	1:12:57	1:12:59
Wow. OK.	1:12:59	1:13:01
OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS	1:13:01	1:13:03
Please stop trying to act normal.	1:13:07	1:13:09
Wow.	1:13:12	1:13:13
Said I was a great guy.	1:13:16	1:13:19
She said she loved me a lot.	1:13:19	1:13:22
And then she said...	1:13:23	1:13:25
we should both go find our own true soul mates.	1:13:26	1:13:29
I'm so confused. I don't really know what happened	1:13:29	1:13:32
from yesterday to today that made this happen.	1:13:32	1:13:35
There has to be something,	1:13:35	1:13:37
you know, some reason she...	1:13:37	1:13:39
Why are you looking at me?	1:13:39	1:13:41
Not looking at you.	1:13:41	1:13:42
He's just looking into the vast void that is his future.	1:13:42	1:13:44
You just happen to be there.	1:13:44	1:13:46
SNICKERING Dan, did you have anything to add?	1:13:46	1:13:48
Clay: Yeah. What does the expert have to say? Come on.	1:13:48	1:13:50
Uh...	1:13:50	1:13:52
Nana: Honey, the hard truth is	1:13:52	1:13:55
we all liked her a lot.	1:13:55	1:13:56
Yeah, we really did.	1:13:56	1:13:58
GROANS	1:13:58	1:14:00
This isn't helping. No.	1:14:01	1:14:03
SIGHS	1:14:03	1:14:05
Can somebody think of something fun to do?	1:14:05	1:14:08
OK, OK. Uh...	1:14:08	1:14:09
Oh, OK, OK! Part of the Rat Pack,	1:14:09	1:14:11
Singer.	1:14:11	1:14:12
Dean Martin! Sammy Davis Jr.	1:14:12	1:14:14
Sammy Davis Jr.	1:14:14	1:14:16
Whoo!	1:14:16	1:14:17
Yes!	1:14:17	1:14:19
Your turn, buddy.	1:14:19	1:14:20
Come on. Let's do it.	1:14:20	1:14:21
PHONE RINGING	1:14:21	1:14:23
OK.	1:14:23	1:14:24
Mitch: OK.	1:14:24	1:14:25
Go. Go.	1:14:25	1:14:27
This is a...	1:14:27	1:14:28
Hi, Jordy.	1:14:28	1:14:30
Marie, on phone: You can't talk?	1:14:30	1:14:31
No, but go on.	1:14:31	1:14:32
I had to leave. I know.	1:14:32	1:14:34
Mitch: I own a kite with a key.	1:14:34	1:14:35
Ben Franklin.	1:14:35	1:14:36
But the truth is, um...	1:14:36	1:14:38
Yes?	1:14:38	1:14:39
I didn't get very far.	1:14:39	1:14:41
Beautiful smile, lovely eyes, one-of-a-kind woman.	1:14:41	1:14:43
Marie!	1:14:43	1:14:44
Yes.	1:14:44	1:14:46
Nana: Oh, honey, don't, don't, don't.	1:14:46	1:14:49
Lilly: Dad?	1:14:55	1:14:56
Hey, you.	1:14:56	1:14:58
Can I show you what I made?	1:14:58	1:14:59
First thing when I get back, OK?	1:14:59	1:15:02
(QUIETLY) OK.	1:15:02	1:15:05
You again.	1:15:16	1:15:18
Nice to see you, officer.	1:15:18	1:15:19
How are you today?	1:15:19	1:15:21
You know why I pulled you over? I sure do.	1:15:21	1:15:23
I know what I was doing,	1:15:23	1:15:25
and I know it's all wrong.	1:15:25	1:15:26
This is going to cost you.	1:15:26	1:15:28
Put it on my tab.	1:15:28	1:15:30
What was that?	1:15:30	1:15:31
(QUIETLY) put it on my tab.	1:15:31	1:15:33
CHUCKLES	1:15:33	1:15:35
What are we doing?	1:16:03	1:16:04
It may be wrong... Yes.	1:16:06	1:16:08
But there's a certain rightness to our wrongness,	1:16:08	1:16:10
I think.	1:16:10	1:16:11
I think, um...	1:16:11	1:16:13
We've got to think. I mean, your girls	1:16:13	1:16:15
And how do we... I mean, they're extraordinary and...	1:16:15	1:16:19
What?	1:16:21	1:16:22
I think this is all premature.	1:16:24	1:16:27
Yeah. I do, to.	1:16:30	1:16:32
We don't even know if you can bowl.	1:16:36	1:16:38
CHUCKLES	1:16:43	1:16:45
LAUGHING	1:16:53	1:16:54
Dan: All right.	1:16:54	1:16:56
No, no. Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait.	1:16:56	1:16:58
No, no, no! You have to line up. Leave me alone.	1:16:58	1:17:00
What? Come on. All right.	1:17:00	1:17:02
No. I'm just watching you.	1:17:02	1:17:04
Get off me!	1:17:04	1:17:05
Good luck. Ready?	1:17:05	1:17:07
Whoo! Oh. Thank you.	1:17:07	1:17:10
Thank you.	1:17:10	1:17:12
MUSIC PLAYS	1:17:12	1:17:13
Like that?	1:17:14	1:17:15
That was a terrible shot, but I love this. Ha ha ha!	1:17:15	1:17:18
Oh, I wouldn't go yet.	1:17:18	1:17:20
PINS FALLING	1:17:23	1:17:25
Two. Not bad. That's good.	1:17:25	1:17:27
You're going to break your arm.	1:17:33	1:17:35
Oh!	1:17:35	1:17:37
LAUGHING	1:17:37	1:17:39
No, no. Don't do it.	1:17:39	1:17:41
Oh, come on, come on, come on!	1:17:47	1:17:49
Yay!	1:17:49	1:17:50
Let's go at the same time.	1:17:50	1:17:52
Come on now.	1:17:52	1:17:53
Yay! Ha ha ha ha!	1:17:58	1:18:01
Lilly: Dad?	1:18:18	1:18:19
Oh, my God. Dad, what are you doing?	1:18:21	1:18:23
Oh.	1:18:23	1:18:24
Mitch: What the hell...Marie?	1:18:24	1:18:25
What the hell's going on?	1:18:25	1:18:27
MUTTERING	1:18:27	1:18:29
I can explain.	1:18:29	1:18:31
Jane: Dad.	1:18:31	1:18:33
You two broke up, right?	1:18:33	1:18:34
Two hours ago. We broke up two hours ago.	1:18:34	1:18:37
I know, I know, I know. Just...	1:18:37	1:18:38
Marie, I thought that you left.	1:18:38	1:18:40
She did. She left, but she just didn't get very far.	1:18:40	1:18:43
What?	1:18:43	1:18:44
Dan: I can... I can explain this.	1:18:44	1:18:45
Yeah, let him explain.	1:18:45	1:18:47
OK. Remember the woman at the bookstore?	1:18:47	1:18:51
Here she is.	1:18:52	1:18:53
You told me to go after her and I didn't.	1:18:55	1:18:57
It wasn't planned, Mitch.	1:18:57	1:18:58
I know how this looks.	1:18:58	1:19:00
Mitch, I also know how it feels.	1:19:00	1:19:02
How does this feel, you son of a bitch?!	1:19:02	1:19:04
Nana: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!	1:19:04	1:19:06
Marie, what happened?	1:19:06	1:19:07
I'm so sorry.	1:19:07	1:19:09
Clay: All right. Everybody take it easy!	1:19:09	1:19:11
Marie: Oh, no. I...I'm sorry. I...	1:19:11	1:19:14
I'm sorry!	1:19:14	1:19:16
Clay: Dan, you all right?	1:19:16	1:19:18
You OK? Marie!	1:19:18	1:19:20
No! Don't go!	1:19:21	1:19:23
I...I don't know what we were thinking.	1:19:23	1:19:25
I'm sorry.	1:19:27	1:19:29
ENGINE STARTS	1:19:29	1:19:30
Don't go.	1:19:30	1:19:32
Dad? Dad!	1:19:36	1:19:38
Dad, what are you... ENGINE STARTS	1:19:38	1:19:40
What are you doing?	1:19:40	1:19:41
Dad!	1:19:41	1:19:43
CRASH	1:19:43	1:19:44
All right. This is your summons for your court appearance.	1:19:55	1:19:57
And one last thing...	1:19:57	1:19:59
You need to surrender your license.	1:19:59	1:20:02
You have guests.	1:20:15	1:20:17
Woman: Oh! Speak of the devil.	1:20:20	1:20:21
Hi. Hi.	1:20:21	1:20:23
Cindy Lamson,	1:20:23	1:20:24
Editor of special features,	1:20:24	1:20:25
Lamson Newspaper Group. Hi.	1:20:25	1:20:26
Jim Lamson, publisher.	1:20:26	1:20:28
Nice to meet you.	1:20:28	1:20:29
We've been sitting here, chatting with your family.	1:20:29	1:20:31
We've especially enjoyed the pleasure	1:20:31	1:20:34
of meeting your lovely daughters.	1:20:34	1:20:36
Jim: Oh.	1:20:36	1:20:37
Hot cider?	1:20:37	1:20:38
Thank you. That looks...	1:20:38	1:20:40
Thank you very much. Yeah. That's great.	1:20:40	1:20:43
Father? Hot cider?	1:20:45	1:20:47
(WHISPERED) Not only are you a murderer of love,	1:20:47	1:20:49
but you're the worst parent ever.	1:20:49	1:20:52
CHUCKLING	1:20:52	1:20:54
Sweet.	1:20:54	1:20:55
Cindy: Well,	1:20:55	1:20:57
as you probably know,	1:20:57	1:20:58
we have met with two other candidates,	1:20:58	1:21:01
but my father and I are confident	1:21:01	1:21:02
that we have saved the best for last.	1:21:02	1:21:05
Uh, girls, you can leave, if you like.	1:21:06	1:21:08
Oh, if it's all right, perhaps they should stay.	1:21:08	1:21:11
I like to keep the family involved.	1:21:11	1:21:13
Oh, Dan here, he knows all about keeping things	1:21:13	1:21:16
in the family, don't you, Dan?	1:21:16	1:21:18
That's why we're so drawn to you.	1:21:18	1:21:20
And what you represent in your column, your moral values.	1:21:20	1:21:23
The personal characteristics that are reflected in your writing,	1:21:23	1:21:26
I think, would be very impressive.	1:21:26	1:21:28
Honesty, trustworthiness.	1:21:28	1:21:29
And we have great plans for your Dad.	1:21:29	1:21:31
What we try to do is	1:21:31	1:21:33
what you keep telling your readers to do.	1:21:33	1:21:35
What's that?	1:21:35	1:21:37
Put family first. Mmm.	1:21:37	1:21:39
OK, OK. Here's the thing.	1:21:39	1:21:42
Somebody hasn't been reading	1:21:43	1:21:45
his own column.	1:21:45	1:21:47
I'm not sure what that means.	1:21:48	1:21:51
Go away.	1:22:02	1:22:03
You're a liar	1:22:03	1:22:05
And a hypocrite.	1:22:05	1:22:06
Cheating with your brother's girlfriend?	1:22:06	1:22:07
Oh, and how long did you know her?	1:22:07	1:22:09
Two moving violations and a collision?	1:22:09	1:22:10
Was that part of the plan?	1:22:10	1:22:13
First of all,	1:22:13	1:22:14
you blew off Lilly.	1:22:14	1:22:15
She's been wanting to show you something she made for you.	1:22:15	1:22:18
But you never showed up.	1:22:18	1:22:20
Hmm.	1:23:46	1:23:48
I really messed up.	1:23:50	1:23:51
No, you didn't. Yeah, I did, Mom.	1:23:51	1:23:54
What I did to Lilly.	1:23:54	1:23:55
Don't forget Mitch... Oh, John.	1:23:55	1:23:57
And those newspaper people.	1:23:57	1:24:00
Admittedly not a good day for you, honey.	1:24:00	1:24:03
SIGHS	1:24:03	1:24:05
If I'd just stayed focused on being their dad.	1:24:05	1:24:07
Oh, please. You know, love is messy.	1:24:07	1:24:10
I should know better.	1:24:10	1:24:12
I hurt my kids.	1:24:12	1:24:14
Go unhurt them.	1:24:14	1:24:16
You know, honey, you've made some mistakes.	1:24:16	1:24:18
Many. So many.	1:24:18	1:24:20
Falling for Marie wasn't one of them.	1:24:20	1:24:23
Can somebody get me another box, please?	1:24:26	1:24:29
Amy: Yep, yep. Coming.	1:24:29	1:24:32
Mitch.	1:24:34	1:24:35
Mitch, I...	1:24:37	1:24:39
If it was anybody else...	1:24:42	1:24:45
I am so...	1:24:45	1:24:48
CAR HORN	1:24:48	1:24:50
Hold that thought.	1:24:51	1:24:53
Hey, beautiful.	1:24:57	1:24:59
ENGINE REVS	1:25:05	1:25:07
KNOCKING	1:25:11	1:25:13
Girls?	1:25:17	1:25:18
I'd like to talk to Lilly alone, if I could.	1:25:20	1:25:23
OK, then all of you.	1:25:33	1:25:36
I know I messed up big-time.	1:25:46	1:25:48
Yep. Yes, you did.	1:25:48	1:25:50
Now...	1:25:50	1:25:52
Mom...	1:25:52	1:25:55
I miss your Mom,	1:25:55	1:25:57
all the time, and I always will.	1:25:57	1:26:00
Mom's gone.	1:26:00	1:26:01
Oh, honey, I see her every day.	1:26:01	1:26:04
I see her in your goodness, Jane,	1:26:04	1:26:07
And...Cara, the passion.	1:26:07	1:26:10
And, Lilly, you have her eyes	1:26:10	1:26:13
And her smile.	1:26:13	1:26:16
So here is what I am going to do.	1:26:18	1:26:20
I am grounding myself for life.	1:26:20	1:26:23
I'm sticking with you. I am going to be with you...	1:26:23	1:26:27
You're with us every day.	1:26:27	1:26:29
I'm not going anywhere.	1:26:29	1:26:31
See, I got a little confused with Marie,	1:26:31	1:26:35
but that is over, OK?	1:26:35	1:26:39
I kind of lost my head...	1:26:39	1:26:43
Got a little stupid because I love her.	1:26:44	1:26:47
That's...	1:26:47	1:26:50
That's not...	1:26:50	1:26:52
I don't love her and that's not what I meant.	1:26:52	1:26:54
I mean, how could I love her?	1:26:54	1:26:56
I've only known her... 3 days.	1:26:56	1:26:58
Yeah...	1:26:58	1:27:00
And how can you know	1:27:00	1:27:02
in 3 days?	1:27:02	1:27:04
I don't know.	1:27:07	1:27:09
Yes, I do. I love her.	1:27:09	1:27:12
I love her. I love her.	1:27:12	1:27:15
I love her. I love...	1:27:15	1:27:18
(WHISPERED) I love her.	1:27:18	1:27:21
Then go get her.	1:27:23	1:27:26
We so prefer her to you.	1:27:27	1:27:29
Go.	1:27:38	1:27:40
Now.	1:27:43	1:27:44
Oh.	1:27:44	1:27:46
Hey.	1:27:52	1:27:53
Nana: Honey, honey, for the road.	1:27:53	1:27:55
What is it?	1:28:04	1:28:06
I can't do it. You must.	1:28:06	1:28:08
I don't have a license.	1:28:08	1:28:09
I'm pretty good with maps.	1:28:26	1:28:29
This is so queer...	1:28:29	1:28:31
But I wouldn't miss it for anything.	1:28:31	1:28:34
ENGINE STARTS	1:28:34	1:28:37
Dan: Dear readers, for most of you,	1:28:45	1:28:47
This is my first column in your paper.	1:28:47	1:28:49
In the future, I will be answering your questions, but today,	1:28:49	1:28:53
I want to break from my usual format	1:28:53	1:28:56
and talk to you about the subject of plans.	1:28:56	1:28:59
Not so much my plan for this column,	1:28:59	1:29:02
more like life plans, how we all make them,	1:29:02	1:29:04
and how we hope that our kids make good, smart,	1:29:04	1:29:07
safe plans of their own.	1:29:07	1:29:10
But if we're really honest with ourselves,	1:29:11	1:29:13
most of the time, our plans don't work out as we'd hoped.	1:29:13	1:29:18
So instead of asking our young people, "What are your plans?"	1:29:22	1:29:25
"What do you plan to do with your life?"	1:29:25	1:29:28
Maybe we should tell them this:	1:29:28	1:29:30
Plan to be surprised.	1:29:30	1:29:34
# The moment has come To face the truth	1:29:42	1:29:46
# I'm wide awake And so are you	1:29:46	1:29:50
# Do you have a clue What this is	1:29:50	1:29:52
# I don't know	1:29:52	1:29:54
# Are you everything that I miss	1:29:54	1:29:56
# I don't hope so	1:29:56	1:29:58
# We'll just have to wait and see	1:29:58	1:30:00
# Wait and see	1:30:00	1:30:01
# If things go right We're meant to be	1:30:01	1:30:05
# The surface is gone	1:30:05	1:30:07
# We scratched it off	1:30:07	1:30:09
# We made some plans And let them go	1:30:09	1:30:13
# Do you have The slightest idea	1:30:13	1:30:15
# No, I don't	1:30:15	1:30:17
# Why the world is bright With you here	1:30:17	1:30:19
# Oh, is that so	1:30:19	1:30:21
# Stay a while And wait and see	1:30:21	1:30:23
# Wait and see	1:30:23	1:30:24
# If things go right We're meant to be	1:30:24	1:30:28
# Oh, what a world This life would be	1:30:28	1:30:32
# Forget all your Technicolour dreams	1:30:32	1:30:35
# Forget what a picture This is how it's meant to be	1:30:35	1:30:41
# Do, do, da, dum Do, do, do, dum	1:30:51	1:30:54
# Do, do, dum, dum Do, do, do, dum	1:30:54	1:30:58
# Do you have the slightest idea # No, I don't	1:30:58	1:31:01
# Why the world is right when you're near	1:31:01	1:31:04
# Is that so	1:31:04	1:31:06
# Stay a while, we'll wait and see	1:31:06	1:31:08
# Wait and see	1:31:08	1:31:09
# If things go right We're meant to be	1:31:09	1:31:13
# Oh what a world This life would be	1:31:13	1:31:16
# Forget all your Technicolour dreams...#	1:31:16	1:31:20

Dan in Real Life

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