Trees Lounge

'Turkey. That's smoked turkey and it's quite tender...'

This programme contains strong language.

Wake up, Tommy.

-Let me get a shot, Connie.

-Last call was 15 minutes ago.

-Oh, come on!

Get one for him too, a real one.

-I'm trying to get outta here, Tommy.

-Connie. ..Bill, d'you want one?

HE BELCHES Oh, that's pretty(!)

Thank you.

What's your name again?

-Mike.

-Right. I'm Tommy.

# I understand... #

Hey, buddy! Buddy! You, guy!

Back door. Front door's closed.

# ..If when we kiss it's not the same... #

Oh, I'll take that.

# ..I'll understand

# It's not your fault... #

OK, we're closing now.

Everybody went home, Bill. Bye-bye.

Everybody went home.

# ..You didn't mean to be unkind

# I'll understand

# Forgetting you

# Will be far from easy

# I've grown used to your charms

# Same old thrill

# No-one can see

# The place you know

# If you find

# Our love was really meant to be

# Then hurry back to me

# And I'll understand

# I'll understand

# No, darling, you are not to blame

# If when we kiss it's not the same

# Oh, I understand

# It's not... It's not your fault

# Because your heart has changed its mind

# Darling, you didn't mean to be unkind... #

Get me a three-quarter-inch wrench, Raymond.

Jesus Christ!

Your brother's here again.

D'you want me to talk to him? No, get me a coffee.

Just don't look at him.

-What is wrong with him?

-I don't know. Let's just go.

-He's been standing there every day for a week almost.

-He'll tire of it.

I'M tired of it!

-Rob.

-I'm just gonna talk to him. Relax.

What the fuck, Tommy, huh? What do you want?

-I just wanna know how it feels.

-How what feels?

-To be a chump.

-I dunno. You tell me.

-Ha-ha-ha!

-You're being an asshole!

-At least I know I'm one. Do you?

-I know you are.

-Do you know YOU are? That's the question.

-I'm an asshole?

-Yeah.

-Right.

-Yeah. Hey, you're an even bigger asshole than me.

You know what I'm talking about.

-Let go of my finger, man!

-I don't wanna hurt you.

-Stop, Rob.

-In the car.

-Take it easy!

I'm warning you, man!

Jesus Christ, calm down.

# I said hey

# I'm the stealer

# Come to steal your love

# I'm the stealer... #

Go! Go! Go!

# ..I'm gonna steal your love away... #

Hey, Johnny. Johnny!

-Yo.

-Come here for a second, will you? Hurry up.

-What's up?

-Sit here and keep your foot on the gas.

-Keeps stalling?

-Take me two seconds.

-Take your foot off. Let me listen.

-It'll stall.

-I gotta listen just for one second.

Trust me. Take your foot off. Come on.

-ENGINE FALTERS That's a serious problem.

-Yeah.

-Good luck. But don't leave it there. You're blocking my drive.

-All right.

TRIES ENGINE AGAIN

-What did you say when you came in?

-I know.

-You made me promise to cut you off after one drink.

-I already served you two.

-I didn't make you promise.

-Jackie, what did he say?

-One drink, then he's outta here.

-You weren't here when I came in!

-You say it every time.

-What the fuck does she know?

-Hey, show some respect!

-Bill, back me up.

-Back yourself up.

-Come on, just give me a...

-You're a weak man.

-That's why I drink it straight. Ice cubes are too heavy.

Hold it. Look, I'll give you five bucks if you don't drink the drink.

-I'll do it.

-Don't get weird on me.

-I'm not. Five bucks. You can do it.

Give him a drink, for Christ's sake!

-Hey, butt out!

-What will I do with five bucks?

All right, ten dollars if you walk outta here.

-I've never been so insulted in my life(!)

-Big money - do it!

Ten bucks. Don't leave.

-Out, now!

-I'm out?

-Yeah, you're leaving. Out. Go ahead.

-Ha-ha-ha!

-I'll get you. I knew he couldn't do it.

-Can I help you?

-I was in last week. Have you found a mechanic yet?

-No, not yet.

-OK, cos I'm available.

You're probably looking at other possibilities, but I can start now.

-I remember you. Where's your car?

-My car?

When you left last week, you stalled. It took you 25 minutes to start it.

That's a piece of shit, but I got it running pretty good now.

So how come you're on foot?

Just felt like walking.

That's my number. If I'm not there, you can leave a message.

Thanks a lot.

-D'you think I'm using you?

-Theresa, please!

-Do you?

-No! I said I was sorry.

How many times do I have to say it?

-Whose baby do you think it is?

-Tommy's, OK?

Is that what you want me to say? Is that what you think I think?

-Well, if that's what you think...

-It's not what I think.

Look, I said I'm sorry.

He's driving me crazy.

-Well, don't let him.

-I know.

-Ignore him. That's what I do.

Yeah. You don't even look at him.

It's like you're trying to punish him or something.

-You think I'm playing games?

-I don't think you're playing games, but...

You did go out with him for eight years.

So what?

What do you mean, "So what?"

-What do you mean, "What do I mean?" It's over.

-Then why so fucking cold?

-What do you want me to say? I'm still in love with him?

-Are you?

No, you idiot.

If I wanted to be with him, I would be, and even if the baby was his, I'd still want you.

-What?

-"Even if it was his baby" - meaning it could be?

No, I was just saying that.

"I'd still want you." Not love, want. What do you "want" with me?

-You are such an asshole!

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah, well...

Hey, I'm in there.

-Will you tell me your name again?

-I told you twice already.

-I know.

I wanna say it's Christine. It's not, but it sounds like Christine.

What's this?

Look into my...

-Crystal!

-Yeah!

-God! I'm losing my mind. That's a nice name.

-You said that first time.

I did?

-Yeah, you did.

-Oh. I'll say it again. It's a nice name.

What are you doin'?

-What am

-I

-doing?

Who's watching Anna?

Oh, who's that?

-Now I got it embezzled in my head.

-All right.

-I'll tell you another reason.

-Why?

-(It's a pretty name, and you're pretty, like your name.)

-Thank you.

-You're killing me.

-You're making me blush.

-Pretty name for a pretty girl.

Give me a kiss.

Forget it.

-Do you gamble?

-No.

-Good. I'll make you a bet. ..Connie.

Get me two big glasses of beer and a shot glass for Cleo...Crystal!

- Not this stupid trick again, Tommy. - What trick? Who are you tricking?

-It's not a trick.

-It's a trick.

-It's a gentleman's bet.

I bet you I can drink two big glasses of beer before you drink one shot glass.

If I win, I get to take you home. If you win, you go home with me.

-What kind of deal is that?!

-It's a good deal for me!

-I gotta see this.

-But let me finish one beer first and put my glass down.

-Let me get this straight.

-You drink one full glass. When you put the glass down, I drink this little glass...

-Yeah.

-Then whoever finishes first wins.

-Right.

-Remember, you can't touch my glass.

-Come on, let's just do it.

-..Connie, get me two shots of Wild Turkey.

D'you want me to leave?

I'm watching this.

-One for you, one for me.

-Salute.

-Salute.

OK, here we go.

-Wait a minute.

-What?

-Wait till I put my glass down.

-Well, come on!

-Wait a second.

-No! You can't touch my glass.

-Why not?

-That's the deal. I win.

That's good. That's good.

Yeah. I'm glad we could talk.

-I explained the rules. I win.

-Wait. You said it was a gentleman's...

-I'm not a gentleman. ..Hey! Hey!

What...?

I win. You lose.

-That means you go home with me.

-We'll see about that. You think you got it like that, huh?

# Either it's love or it isn't

# There's no compromise

# Either it's real or it isn't

# There's no otherwise

# Don't want your arms Don't want your lips... #

-Will you do me a favour?

-Anything.

-I'll be right back. OK?

-But don't sit with anybody. Don't talk to anybody.

-No.

-Don't dance with anybody else. OK?

-OK.

-I don't wanna lose you.

-You won't.

-All right?

-OK.

-Do you want another drink?

-I don't think so.

-Do you wanna sit down?

-Yeah, OK.

OK.

-All right?

-Yeah.

-OK.

It's OK.

All right?

-OK, I'll be right back.

-Hurry, OK?

Take me home after this.

-Take you home?

-Take me home.

-OK, I'll be right back.

-Hurry.

SNIFFING

Were you doing blow in there?

-You can fucking talk.

-You were, right?

-Fuck you.

I don't give a shit, but don't let Connie catch you.

Oh, God!

I don't even know anyone who does it any more. That's why I'm surprised.

-You got good shit, or what?

-No, I used to, but...

-D'you want some? The shit sucks.

-Does it?

I wouldn't mind doing just a little blast.

Make sure nobody comes in that door.

-Hey, man.

-Hi, Freddy.

-You done, or what?

-Yeah, yeah.

Freddy! > Here. Later.

# Hold your head up Oh, hold your head up

# Oh, and hold your head up Oh, and hold your head high... #

Crystal.

You gonna wake up?

Yo! Hey!

Come on. Are you gonna wake up?

Crystal, come on.

Come on. Up, up, up.

-What are you doin'?

-Just getting her up.

-Put her down. Let her sleep.

-Hey, what are you doing?

-I need her car keys. She can't drive.

-She came with me. She doesn't have a car.

-I'll take her home.

-No, you should go home by yourself.

-Why's everybody here? He's going through her bag.

-Connie...

-Have a drink.

-I don't want a drink.

-Let her sleep!

-What's wrong?

-Tommy.

-What?

-Just relax.

-OK. Hey, you relax.

Fine.

Nosy.

All right. You stay here, Anna. Don't move.

Anna, get over here right now!

-Get over here.

-No! No, I don't wanna go!

Please don't do this to me, honey.

No, I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go.

ALARM CLOCK IS RINGING

Oh, no!

CHILDREN SHOUT All right, wait a minute. Quiet. Absolute... Hey!

Silence. What do I wanna hear? ALL: Uncle Al song.

OK, let's hear the Uncle Al song.

# I love Uncle Al His ice cream tastes like heck

# For him I'd break my neck Cos I love Uncle Al. #

Uncle Al loves you too... and your mothers.

CHIMES PLAY

BELL RINGS

CRUNCH

# I never had a dream come true... #

Tommy!

Tommy!

-Yeah?

-Tommy!

Tommy!

What's up, Raymond?

-Were you sleeping?

-Yeah. What do you want?

-I've been trying to call you.

-Did you hear about Uncle Al?

-No. What?

He had a heart attack in his ice-cream truck.

I'll be right down.

-I'll be right in.

-Make sure you lock up.

-Tommy.

-Matthew. Man, I can't believe your father.

Yeah. I know.

-How you been?

-Me? I'm OK.

-Remember Samantha?

-Hey, Samantha, how're you doing?

Good. You look great.

Thanks. So do you. You got new hair... I mean, not new, but, er...

Yeah, it's smaller.

-Hi, Tommy.

-Sandy, how are you? Your father. I'm so sorry.

-(Who's this?

-George.)

-George. Yeah.

-Haven't seen you since the wedding.

-Yeah.

-He wasn't at our wedding, George.

-Oh, your wedding. No, I, er...

I don't know what happened. Sorry.

It's all right.

Tony. Tommy's here.

I got two eyes, Josie.

-Doesn't he look good?

-He looks better now.

-Oh, for Christ's sake, your brother is dead. Can't we have ONE day without an argument?

-All right.

-Get off my back.

-I'm not on your back!

-Come on, please!

I'm going in.

-Did she give you any money?

-No, and I didn't ask.

-Don't ask me either.

-I'm not.

-I can't give you handouts for ever.

-Why do you have to start? Did I ask for anything?

-All right.

-Don't yell at me.

-I'm not yelling.

-OK, OK.

OK.

Thanks.

Keep the pack. I've a carton in the car.

Hi.

For weeks, I said he didn't look good. Nobody listens to me.

I just don't understand why he carried on the way he did, knowing...

People tried to change him. It couldn't be done.

I couldn't change him. You couldn't change him. Your mother couldn't.

My mother couldn't. Nobody could change him.

-Sandy, more coffee?

-No, thanks, Aunt Josie.

I couldn't change him. Your brother couldn't.

-I was sorry to hear about you.

-Me?

-Yeah. Matt said you lost your job.

Oh, that, yeah. Well...

Whatever.

Yeah. Well, good mechanics aren't easy to find. It shouldn't be too hard to find another place.

-I haven't really been looking. I'm just taking it slow.

-Good.

If you're just looking for a job for the summer, take over Al's truck.

-Yeah?

-Yeah. Sandy said he made out really good on that.

Er...driving an ice-cream truck? I don't see myself doing that.

Hey, Sandy. How're you doing?

You saw him recently, huh?

Your father? Yeah, at a poker game last Saturday.

You see. I never played poker with him. He'd never ask me.

-No. I was just passing, so I went in.

-We should go downstairs.

Yeah.

You know what he said to me?

He told me to stay after the game for one last drink. One last drink.

Did he say anything about me?

Well, yeah. I mean, we talked for a while.

I bet it was hard for him, Matt. He felt like he was a failure to you.

He made me feel like a failure, you know. It's... Like I was nothing.

He felt bad about the kind of father he was, so had to make YOU feel bad.

That probably made him feel worse. So...

-- That's why he hated me. - He didn't say he hated you, Matthew.

-How could he hate you?

Maybe he thought you hated him.

-D'you think so?

-No. Hey, come on, don't listen to me.

I'm just... Hey, deep down, he knew how you felt.

Just like you know how he felt about you. But along the way, things got fucked up, you know. But so what?!

Everybody's fucked up, but nobody wants anyone else to think they are, but everyone knows anyway, so...

The thing I'm trying to say, Matthew, is I think in his own way...your father really loved you.

It's that simple.

-Er, we should really get back downstairs.

-Yeah.

HE SNORTS

Fuck. I just did your line, man.

-I'm sorry.

-Hey, man, you deserve it.

Hey, Bill, did you ever kill anybody?

-What kind of an asshole question is that?

-I mean, in Korea.

-What career?

-No...

-Hey, Tommy. I'm away to get some food. D'you wanna come?

-No, I'm OK.

Rob says, if you come to the station again, he'll call the cops.

-Did I come by today?

-No, but...you come by every other day.

-So what?

-Are you his messenger?

-Just telling you.

-Are YOU gonna call the cops?

-Forget it.

-You wouldn't be working there if it wasn't for me.

-Am I supposed to quit cos you got fired?

-No, but you're my fuckin' brother.

-It was your fault you got fired.

-Who told him about the money?

-He asked me! Should I have said

-I

-took it?

-No, but keep your mouth shut!

-Why are you pissed at me? Every time I talk to you lately...

-Well, don't! That's simple.

If my best pal stole my girlfriend, fucked her, knocked her up and fired me, I don't know what I'd do, but...

Look, I asked you and I won't ask you again, move.

-What? I said...

-Hey, Matthew, sit down.

-Just move.

-Raymond, sit down.

-Pussy!

Hey, guys! Hey!

Christ!

SHOUTING

-Get off me!

-Leave go. Come on, man.

-Just get 'em out! Go!

-Calm down. Calm down, all right?

-What's that guy doing?

-Just calm down.

I asked him about five times! D'you wanna drink on the house?

If I were you, I'd shoot him.

-Who?

-Your ex-boss. What's his name?

Rob?

Rob? Rob's his name?

-What?

-Rob?!

He steals your girlfriend and that's his name?

# We're on a red light, baby Yeah

# We're on a red...

# ..red light, baby, red

# Red light, baby, yeah. #

So where's the fuckin' after-hours clubs around here?

Around here, man? Forget about it.

Oh, fuck! Really? I really don't feel like going home.

Well...

-D'you have to make work or anything in the morning?

-No, man!

-What do you do anyway?

-What do YOU do? You're a mechanic?

Yeah.

I've looked around, but... if anyone calls Rob for a reference, I'm screwed.

-Is he a scumbag or what?

-No, he's pissed off at me. HE'S pissed off at ME.

Cos the kid's yours, or what?

She's got him thinking otherwise, but... I mean, yeah, there's this other thing that happened...

-right before he...let me go.

-What?

I borrowed money from him and I was gonna put it back.

You were gonna put it back?

Yeah, but he didn't know I took it.

Hold on, man. You took money from the station?

Yeah, it was Friday night and, er...

-he wasn't there, so I borrowed this money...

-How much?

-Fifteen hundred.

-Fifteen hundred bucks?

-But I went to Atlantic City that weekend, then I lost it all. First time it happened.

-Where am I going?

Er, three more lights, then you can make a right.

-How about here?

-Where? Here?

Yeah, I mean, I'm not far.

D'you mind if I take another beer?

See you.

Fuckin' loser.

-How are you feeling today?

-OK, but I'm a little tired.

-D'you want my pancakes?

-Uh-huh. I'm feeling fat.

-I like you fat.

I don't have to go today. I could stay with you.

-Are you pitching today?

-Why?

-Maybe if you don't go, your team will win.

-You said I was fat!

-No, YOU said you were fat.

-I

-said I LIKED you fat.

-I said I was feeling fat.

Don't start, OK? I'm not in the mood. Everything I say is wrong.

I'm not starting.

God! Mr Sensitive.

Is that a crime?

No.

What are you doing?

I like you like that.

Eugh!

You're so fat!

What you got in there? A Buick? What is it?

Rob, come here. Bring that camera. Get a shot of this beautiful face.

Real close. What're you doing, moron? Not me, Sandy! It's HER birthday.

-She's 23 years old today.

-25, Dad.

-25.

-What do you mean, 25? How can that be?

-I'm only 42 years old.

-Right(!)

-Right, and your name is Pinnochio.

-Oh, really? My name is what?

-Pinnochio.

-Pinnochio. Your nose is growing.

-Is it?

-Uh-huh.

-You see it growing?

-I see it.

-Look closely.

-I'm looking.

-Maybe something else will grow.

Oh! You are sick! You are sick!

-You're a bad boy!

-Don't be gross. It's my birthday.

-It was him, not me.

-Here's the birthday cake...

Can you liven this up? I want to sell this to Channel J.

-Yeah? D'you want me to whip it out?

-ALL: No!

-Just let me get out the microscopic lens.

-Oooh! Them's fighting words!

Put up your dukes. Raymond, attend me.

I-I-I'm gonna kick your ass!

Hey! Hey! Hey-ho!

LAUGHING AND SHOUTING

APPLAUSE AND SHOUTING

Ho!

Hey! Hey, come on!

He killed me. He killed me.

Oh, God! He needs mouth to mouth.

Yes, I do. Good idea. Your kid sister.

-More! More!

-Oh, jeez...! I thought it was you.

Darling! She was saving my life. You don't understand.

-And who'll save you from me?

-Oh, help me, please.

Tell her, I thought it was you. I thought she was you.

Vic, pitcher of beer, man.

How are you, Billy?

-Come home.

-What? I don't wanna live there any more.

-Let's talk.

-There's nothing to talk about. I get no support from you.

-Oh, no(!) Just a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food on the table.

-God! I hate you!

What?

-Victor.

-My ten bucks. If not, take a walk.

-I got your ten bucks.

Victor!

Gimme a Wild Turkey.

Hey, Tommy.

What?

I'm sorry about Al.

Yeah, me too.

Hey, Vic. Give Tommy a beer. Do I have to? >

-Are you buying me a beer?

-Yeah.

Hey, whoah! Not that swill. If he's buying, I'll take a bottle of beer.

-Imported.

-Who are you? Mr International?

-Payback.

-It still hurts.

-I should've bent it back further.

Thank you.

See you later.

RADIO BLARES OUT

HORN TOOTS

Hey!

Fuck!

No, put the car in neutral and turn it off.

-I did.

-If you had, it wouldn't have jumped fuckin' forwards.

-Get us two Budweisers.

-Are you 21?

I'm 22.

You got ID?

-He's 22.

-Can't serve him without ID. He shouldn't even be IN here without ID.

OK, he's with me, all right? He won't drink.

What's the problem?

< Throw 'em both out.

-Mr Hyde! So this is where you hide.

-He's Dr Jekyll today. Look at him! Grungy!

-You're pushing it, man.

-I didn't recognise you. You stopped bathing?

-That's funny, man.

-Thank you. It's bad enough we gotta work on Sunday,

-then we run into our fuckin' boss.

-You look like you're working your ass off(!) >

Look, give me a shot of bourbon with that beer. It's on him.

All right, him too. He's 22.

Thank you. You own this place too?

No, he just lives here.

I thought you were on vacation.

-You live in here now, huh? You don't like your new house?

-It's fine.

-How about Marie?

-How does she like it?

-Well...

-See? See? I fuckin' told you.

-What?

That you wouldn't like it here. Six months, you and Marie'd be at each other's throats. It's half that.

-You never said nothing to me.

-I shouldna had to.

-Marie's a city girl, so are you.

-I hate the city.

-Oh, great(!)

And this is so much better, huh? Got yourself a lawn to piss on. So what?

Wonder Bread town. Everyone looks alike, make out they're happy, when they're fuckin' miserable.

Look around you! It's bullshit!

-Give me a quarter.

-James, don't play no stupid shit.

They ain't got no stupid shit.

Been out for nothing. My tail light is cracked.

-Aw, shit!

-What happened?

-James hit him in the ass.

-James?

-You need more drivers.

-Fuckin' guys!

This cover it?

-It's my truck.

-It's your truck?

-Yeah.

-You own that truck?

-He owns, like, five trucks.

-You own five trucks?!

Yeah.

I could use some work, man. I'm available.

I've got a mechanic I use already, I'm sorry.

I mean as a mover. I'm stronger than I look, man. I can do it.

Er...well, I got a full crew, you know, I...

Come on! You don't have to be a genius to move furniture.

You gotta have a brain.

Oh, Christ! Bill, just take it easy. Slow down, right?

Bill.

Bill!

You gonna sleep with your clothes on again?

Connie.

Where are you going?

You wanna go and get some breakfast?

-Don't you ever stop?

-No.

I'll see you tomorrow, Tommy. You'll be all right.

Get some sleep.

Connie.

What am I gonna do?

One. Come on, let's go!

-BELL RINGS Hey!

-Come on, move it.

-What's he doing?

-We don't want any.

-Come on!

Hey! Get away from the truck.

-Back up, come on!

-You come on.

Hey, you fuck...! Get away from the truck.

CHIMES RING

-Where's Uncle Al?

-He's not here any more.

-When's he coming back?

-He's not. He died.

Died?

-Who are you?

-I'm Tommy.

Uncle Tommy?

No, just Tommy. Do you want something?

-BANGING

-Hey!

Oh, hey, Deb.

-I need some gum.

-Help yourself.

-I couldn't believe you were doing this.

-I haven't seen you in how long and this is how you treat me.

-I'm mad at you.

-What for?

-What happened between you and Aunt Theresa?

-Ask her, not me.

-She's smart.

-Why? Cos she hooked up with Rob?

-He's smart too. He doesn't cheat on her.

How old are you?

-14.

-You're only 14?

-I'm 17, stupid!

-When are you gonna be 18?

-Why? Are you gonna ask me out?

-I might. I'm a free man now.

-You're an OLD man now.

-Yeah? You wanna get out here?

-Stop!

-What?

-Stop the truck.

-Hey, Lisa, what do you want?

-A banana cream pie.

-Banana cream pie?

Er, we don't have... Do you like fudge bars? Give her a fudge bar.

It's dead up there. You should turn here.

Check out this block. Take a left up there. That's how Al used to do it.

-RINGS BELL

-Don't, you'll give me a headache. Stop, please.

-Hey, this is your street.

-Yeah, you can drop me off.

-You don't wanna go all the way?

-I can't, I have to eat. You take a break too. No-one's out till seven.

-I was gonna go home. How late did Al stay out?

-9.30, 10.00.

-That late?

Even when you're training.

Nice. Very nice.

Get inside and help your mother.

-Hi.

-You corrupting my daughter or what?

-I thought she was allowed.

Oh, fuck it. You hungry? D'you want some meat?

Yeah.

This is excellent, Patty.

Yeah, this is good grub, Patty. Can you grab us a couple more beers?

Hey, Slappy. You all right?

Good to see you, Tommy. Just because you don't go out with my sister no more doesn't mean you can't stop by.

-I know. I will.

-I mean it. I missed you.

I missed you too. I only went out with Theresa to be close to you.

Stop it.

It's true. You know, er, I used to have a big crush on you.

Please.

-Sorry, Jerry.

-That's all right. You two wanna go upstairs, go ahead.

- Jerry! - What? It was a joke. He made a joke, so I made a joke.

Yeah, but his joke was funny.

-I only married Patty was so I could get close to Theresa.

-That's sick.

-What?

-Theresa was only 14 when you two married.

-So? She didn't look 14.

Jerry!

- What? Not funny? - No. ..Tommy, more roast beef?

-Debbie doesn't eat meat.

-No?

-She's a veggie.

-I am not.

-What do you mean?

-I never said I was vegetarian, but eating meat's gross.

-And chicken?

-They're kept in cages and peck each other's eyes out.

-Hey! What did I say about talking about that shit at table?

-She asked.

I don't wanna hear it while eating.

-Tommy, would you have some more?

-No, I'm fine.

-We should go.

Hey! You'll get me in trouble again.

-Thanks a lot for helping me.

-It was fun. You need some help tomorrow?

-You want to?

-If you want me to.

-Why not?

-All right, see you tomorrow.

-It was fun.

-Yeah?

-Bye.

-Bye.

-Don't he look like you?

-No, he's got a moustache, he's got tights on.

-You could have a moustache.

-I ain't wearing tights. Anyway, it's fixed.

-Are you jealous?

-Of this guy in tights with the moustache?

-He's like one of the Village People.

-Where's your glasses? Bill, Stan got new glasses. Show him your glasses.

-He don't like 'em.

-Get ready, Bill.

-You look like an idiot!

-Go fuck, Billy!

-Why did you say that? He looks like Kissinger.

-I ain't wearing 'em.

-Look what you did, Billy.

-I'm gonna squint.

-He's gonna squint!

-D'you think he wants anything?

-I don't think he's coming back out.

-I had a dream about you last night.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-You're a jerk.

-What did I do?

Hi. All right, big guy, what do you want?

-Blue cotton candy.

-He loves that stuff.

-Hey! How're you doing?

Hi.

-What do you say?

-Thank you.

-Thanks.

-Oh, 75 cents.

-Oh, sorry, hold on.

There you go. Keep the change.

-You know her?

-Not really. Do you?

-Yeah, she's weird.

-Why?

-I dunno.

-What's her name again?

-How should I know?

-You just said you knew her.

-Why, do you like her?

-What do you care?

CAR TOOTS Look out, look out!

Got everything you need? Stay here.

Why did I even bring all this stuff?

-My ice cream's really nice.

-Can I give it a bite?

You already had one.

All right.

-Can I take a bite of yours?

-Why didn't you just get one?

-I don't want one, I just want a bite.

-You always take it all, though.

-Don't let him eat it.

-Hey, you pig! Come on.

-I wasn't gonna.

-You were.

I'm not.

Too big? D'you want me to put it back?

That is really disgusting.

-D'you want it, then?

-Not after you had your whole mouth on it.

-Yeah, throw it away - putrid, disgusting!

-Great(!) What are you doing?

-Give me a cigarette.

You're gonna smoke in front of her?

-Did you miss Brownie?

-Mm-hm.

-That's why I brought him.

-Thank you.

Ruff! Ruff!

-I wanna move to the city or upstate.

-No.

Where'll she go to school in the city? You'll follow her to class so some idiot doesn't blow her head off?

-I don't wanna move, Mom.

-We're just talking about it.

-No, we're not.

-Not talking about it?

-No. We're not moving. Upstate? Commuting two hours every day to go to work?

-No way!

-You don't go to work every day. You go to a bar every day.

-I'm on vacation.

-Huh! Great(!) Some vacation! Ever heard of Disneyland?

-Are we going to Disneyland?

-No.

-We're not.

-Fuck!

-Hey!

-You shut up.

-You don't tell me to shut up. I tell you to shut up.

-Hey, Mike.

-Yeah, hey!

Let's go inside, baby.

-Come on.

-Let me know when you wanna talk.

-Anna, give me a kiss.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-How was the movie?

-OK.

-Is he staying?

-No.

Connie, can you get a beer?

What are you looking at?

Are you just looking at my tan line?

Bill, did you eat? Did you see the change on it for you, the noodles?

You see my tan? I do look tanned, right? Don't I?

-Yeah, you look... Yeah.

-I don't look tanned.

-What?

-I saw you today with someone on your ice-cream truck.

-That's Debbie, Theresa's niece.

-Ooh! Nice. How old is she?

-There's nothing going on.

-I just asked how old she is.

-She's 17. Why?

I mean, I-I-I don't come here...

I mean...much. I mean, I didn't, but...

You look like you do.

Excuse me, hon. You'll have to leave. You've no ID and you're not 21.

-I am too. I told you. My purse was stolen.

-It's true, I swear.

-You'll have to leave too.

-Why? I'm 21. I showed you my proof.

-You lied about your friend here.

-I'm not lying.

-My boyfriend will tell you how old I am.

-Who's that?

-Tommy.

-Tommy!

-Bill!

-What?

-Don't lick it so much.

-You too, huh?

-What?

-Think I'm disgusting.

-I didn't say that.

-Is this good pot?

-Like you'd know the difference(!)

-I don't. That's why I'm asking.

-Mm-hm.

It is good.

-It gets you stoned if it's good?

-It's OK.

-It's nice. You won't get wasted.

-Yeah.

-It won't get you too high.

-But you gotta inhale.

-Really(!)

-Well, she doesn't inhale cigarettes.

-Get outta here.

-You don't!

-He's right, you don't.

-So what?

LAUGHING Oh, that's really beautiful!

"That was really beautiful."

Wow. I wasn't laughing at you.

-You weren't?

-I guess I was, huh?

No. With total respect and wonder.

Oh! That was very...

deep, heavy shit.

-I'm serious.

-I know.

Yeah? Fuck you.

What?

-I'm serious.

-Me too.

Yeah? About what?

-About what?

-Yeah. What are you serious about?

Anything. Anything at all. Give me something that you're serious about.

Oh, that's good.

-Come on, anything that you're serious about.

-Leave him alone.

-Shut up. I'm asking...

-Don't tell me to shut up.

-You should shut up. Why don't YOU shut up?

-Kelly, I'm so sorry that I said shut up to you.

-Seriously?

-LAUGHING She's good.

-I know.

So that deserves something.

Voila!

You?

I don't want any.

More for us.

Er, no, it's all right.

-Amazing!

-Well, I'm gonna go...

-look around.

-Hold on.

I knew it. I don't care.

I don't want any.

MUSIC STARTS

-Can I?

-Sure.

Right. Wow!

-Come on, dance with me. It'll be fun.

-No. I don't wanna dance.

# Cos she cheated cheated cheated Cheated on me, girl

# Doo-be-doo And she taught me how to dance... #

Sorry.

PHONE RINGS

Shut up. Shut up!

-MUSIC STOPS

-Oh!

-What?

-Everybody's gotta go.

Now. Now! Now! Out!

-Hey!

-Out! Out!

-What's the matter with you?

-Go on! Thanks for coming.

Goodbye.

Marie?

Hi.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

So sorry.

I know, I know. Me...

(Would you get outta here?) Get...!

Yeah. I know, I just... I mean, er...

Would you just listen to me? CLATTERING

Ssh! Get out! What...?

No, nobody. Noth... Nothing...

-Where's Kelly?

-She went to the park.

I thought you were staying with her tonight?

I'm really stoned.

-D'you want me to take you home?

-No, I'm too stoned.

-Hey, Deb.

-What?

-Are you stoned?

Shut up.

Whatever it takes.

Yes.

Will you just come home?

Please.

It's hot.

-Is it instant?

-Yeah.

Aye-aye! How are you feeling?

-Pretty beat.

-D'you wanna lay down?

-I'll fall asleep.

-So?

-You should be at Kelly's anyway. If you fall asleep, I'll take you home in the morning.

-Sure?

-Yeah.

-You take the bed. I'll sleep on the couch.

-Do I have to go now?

No, we can go to bed later. I mean... You know what I mean.

So tell me about Mike.

Mike?

That guy's some kind of a whacko.

-Why?

-I don't know. There's something wrong with that guy.

-If I had a wife and kid, I wouldn't be doing what he's doing.

-Like what?

-Hangs out at the bar all the time, does shitty drugs.

-It's what you do.

-Yeah, but I'm not him.

-So if you and Theresa were married and the kid was yours, you'd be different?

-Where did that come from?

-You said it.

-I said if I had a wife and kid - I didn't say with who.

-Well, what does Mike do for a living?

He owns trucks. He's got a moving company. He's not really my friend.

Do you have any friends?

What do you mean, do I have any friends? Yeah!

-You used to hang out with my dad.

-He had his own crew, some real sickos.

-Like himself.

-Hey, Jerry's all right.

-He saved my life once.

-He was gonna kill you, but changed his mind?

-No.

One time... this guy had me by the throat.

-This big guy.

-Where?

-At the Trees.

I don't even know what I did to him. Jerry picks up one of those big glass ashtrays

-and he just whacks it down on the guy's head.

-He scares me sometimes.

-So you used to get in a lot of fights?

-Me? No.

My friends did all the time, but I was useless in fights. They'd kick me around for laughs.

-Yeah, I remember when you used to be funny.

-When I USED to be funny?

You and Rob did the Wizard Of Oz for me when I was little. Remember?

-Yeah.

-The Munchkin song? Do it.

Get outta here!

-Come on, please.

-No way!

Just a little bit.

# As coroner of Munchkinland...

-Do the Cowardly Lion.

-No, forget it. No more.

Oh! You used to be good at imitations.

-MARLON BRANDO VOICE

-Yeah, I coulda been somebody.

Instead, I'm an ice-cream man, which is what I am, let's face it.

-Who was that?

-What?

-Was that Jerry Lewis?

-Jerry Lewis?!

You thought that was Jerry Lewis?!

That's it. You're going home. Come on.

Where's your shoes?

Hey!

-D'you wanna wrestle?

-No.

-Come on, I'll show you how.

-I know how. I'll whop your ass.

-You think so?

-Yeah.

Let's see.

-Hey! You can't hit!

-Why not?

Ouch! Jesus! Ow! Hey!

Oh, God!

I don't wanna wrestle any more!

OK. OK.

What do you wanna do?

I don't know.

-D'you wanna watch TV?

-No.

-D'you want me to take you home?

-No.

-Is this good here? I'd drive you further, but...

-No, this is fine.

-All right.

-I should go.

-Maybe I'll see you later?

-Yeah, I dunno.

-What's the matter?

-I kinda feel weird. Don't you?

-Why?

-I mean, we just had some fun, that's all.

-Yeah.

It's all right.

-See you, Tommy.

-Bye.

Hey! Don't forget your bag.

Oh, Christ!

HORN TOOTS

-You seen Debbie?

-Hey, Jerry. What are you doing?

-Looking for Debbie. What are you doing here?

-You're looking for Debbie?

-That's what I just said.

She was at a friend's last night, but she snuck out. Her friend got busted in the park, but Debbie wasn't there.

-No?

-No, and I'm fuckin' pissed!

-Were you at the Trees last night?

-Er, last night, no. I mean... No.

-Why?

-I thought maybe they were bar hopping. The girl had phoney ID.

-Oh.

-What are you doing out so early, Tommy?

-Just restocking the truck before there's a line.

Yeah, OK, Tommy. I'll let you go, all right?

All right. Well, let me know she's all right.

Oh, yeah.

Fuck!

She's home. Where was she?

I don't know. Let me handle it. She's gotta learn. Jerry, I'm warning you!

Hey, I'm going to talk to her. That's all.

We asked you a question. Where were you?

-Fucking leave me alone!

-What did you say to me? Hey!

Did you slam this door on me?!

Huh? Don't ever slam the door in my house!

PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Hi, it's me.

Theresa?

-No, Debbie.

-Oh.

-What's up?

-My dad threw shit this morning. He fucking whaled on me.

-He what?

-He went nuts cos I wouldn't tell him where I was last night.

-Tommy?

-Yeah, I'm here.

Can I come over?

Er...

Well, where's, er...

-Where's Jerry?

-He went out. I don't wanna be here when he gets back.

-I was just about to take the truck out.

-Can I come with you?

-Oh...

I don't think that's a good idea.

Why not?

It... It's just not.

What do you think we should do?

What do you mean?

With my dad. Can you talk to him? Tell him I was with you?

Oh. I dunno, Deb.

You don't think we should tell him?

I, er...

I...I...

I... I can't think straight right now.

Deb?

-What?

-Are you OK?

Did, er...? How bad did he...?

Easy does it. Take a little sip.

-That's enough. Relax. You better?

-I'm fine.

-Billy, you don't look so hot. Go upstairs and lay down.

-OK.

-Wipe his nose, Stan.

-Are you all right, Billy?

-Yeah.

How're you doing, Vic? Did you work last night? No, Connie did.

Is she working tonight? She'll be here at four o'clock.

Give me another one. Give Billy one. I think we almost had him there.

Yeah, that's why I don't wanna give him one. He won't stop.

-Hey, Deb.

-Hey, Tommy. This is my friend, Puck.

-Puck, Tommy.

-Tommy, man. How're you doing?

-What's going on?

-Do you remember me?

Kelly's little brother - Eddie.

-What do they call you now?

-Puck.

-Do you play guitar?

-Yeah, she's good.

-Let's go.

See you.

-Are you moving out?

-Yeah.

-Tommy, have you got some ice for the road?

-We don't have time, Eddie. Let's just go.

-Just wait a minute, please.

-Where are you moving to?

-With my cousin Vicky in the city. All right?

-I can give you a ride.

-What? Sell ice creams on the way.

-Really, dude, it's cool. I don't mind taking her.

-Where does your cousin live?

-263 East Tenth Street.

-What?

-Hey, Deb.

Are you all right?

-Can we go?

-Going, going.

Hey, Tommy, I'll see you later, bro.

Who else was here last night?

I told you, nobody. I, er...

Tommy from the bar.

What were you guys doing?

Hangin' out.

-You don't care that I have people over?

-I thought you said it was just you and him?

You know, I really don't wanna talk about it no more. Do we have to?

I'm really glad you're home. I really am.

Really. So can we just...?

Can we just stop? Please?

Do you want some ice cream?

-There you go. Who gets the change?

-Me.

-All right, Mommy.

-When I got outside, the other girl left, Debbie didn't wanna go home, so she came to my place.

-Your place?

-Yeah, which isn't clean... ..Can I help you?

-This is Marie, my wife.

-Oh, hi. I'm Tommy.

-Tommy? You're the Tommy who was over last night?

Er...

Yeah. We were just, er... The bar got crowded, so we were hanging out.

-I hope that's OK.

-Yeah, sure.

-You got a nice place.

-Thanks.

-Thanks.

-How much?

-Five.

-So I guess I'm supposed to ask if anyone else was there with you.

Like girls, maybe.

-Er...no. No, just me and Mike.

-Oh.

It was a joke, Tommy.

-Oh.

-Let's go.

-Yeah, there were five or six girls there.

-Really?

-Naked girls.

-Sounds like fun. Sorry I missed it.

-Yeah, me too.

-See you.

Oh, shit!

-She was with you last night. Fuck!

-Jerry. Take it easy.

-Wasn't she?!

-Nothing happened, I swear.

-She's 17 years old!

Jerry. Jerry, come on, man!

I fuckin' trusted you!

What happened last night, Michael?

Just give me a fuckin' break. What? What?!

I wish you'd just tell me the truth for once.

Hey, fuck you!

-Jerry, come on, man!

-I'll fuckin' kill you.

Jerry! Come on, man! Cut it out. I swear to God, nothing happened.

-You're fuckin' dead!

-Nothing happened, I swear.

-Ow! Jerry!

-You're fuckin' dead, Tommy.

Ow! Jerry! Get him away from me.

-You're fuckin' dead.

-Nothing happened.

-You're dead!

-Come on, man.

Kiss the truck goodbye, Tommy.

Hey, Jerry, come on, man.

Jerry!

-Oh, man!

-D'you like that, Tommy?

-That's my truck.

-Fuck!

-Jerry!

Come on, man! I'm sorry, all right? I should've told you, OK? But, please...

You like that, Tommy, huh?

She's 17 years old.

Fuck you, Tommy.

You didn't try anything with Debbie, did you?

Tommy!

-Well...

-She's like 17.

I know, Raymond, but I... I swear to God, nothing happened.

You know, she ended up staying over. Nothing happened. We just made out like a couple of high school kids.

-She IS a high school kid.

-I know, Raymond, I was there.

Hi.

Hi. I heard you were here.

-Who told you? Your mother?

-What happened?

I'll tell you some other time.

How are you doing?

-I'm all right.

-You look good.

-You just missed the baby.

-I saw the baby.

-You did?

-Yeah.

Isn't he beautiful?

He's so little.

He's a little old man. Can't they take some of the wrinkles out?

-Cut it out.

-You gave birth to Mr Magoo.

No, he's... He's amazing.

What are you gonna name him?

Um, we didn't decide yet.

Um... you know when we were going out...

I was a jerk a lot

and, er...I treated you like...

Like shit?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Well...

I'm sorry.

I was really fucked up back then.

Oh, and you've really straightened yourself out now, right?

-I would if I had a kid.

-Tommy.

-I mean...

-If we'd had a kid...

-Tommy.

I would.

I mean, things... It...

-It was so much better when we were together.

-Just tell me how fucked up you were.

I know, but now...I'm even worse.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I just, er...

I just feel like...

I don't know what I feel. I don't feel anything.

Except lost.

Look, I was stupid to think I was going to change you.

I know. I gotta do that myself and all that shit, but...

If I had a reason...

Look, I don't care if the baby's not mine. I don't.

Tommy, stop.

I'm really tired.

Would you mind if I just sit here for a while?

Rob is gonna be back any minute, so...

OK.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, I know.

What? You're drinking the whole bottle.

This is my last one, then I'm gonna go. >

Jesus! I thought you were Bill.

What happened?

-Yuk!

-Nothing. Give me a Wild Turkey and a beer.

-Don't talk to me that way, Tommy!

I'm sorry. Can I just get my drink and a beer, please?

Your friend Jerry was in asking if I saw you and his daughter last night. I hope I didn't say the wrong thing.

Like, "I think Tommy's bopping your daughter."

I only told him what I saw. He must've drew his own conclusion.

Looks like he drew it on your head.

-LAUGHING "Conclusion on your head."

-Real funny.

-Hey, you're in Billy's seat.

-What is this? So what?

No respect.

-Where is he anyway?

-He's in the hospital.

What do you mean, in hospital? What happened?

He just stopped breathing. Puff! Just like that, stopped.

It's true. It wasn't like he had an attack. He just fell off the stool, like all the air went out of him.

Well, shouldn't someone be with him?

Yeah, I'm gonna go in a few minutes.

You've been saying that for hours. Time you get there, he'll be dead.

-Hey! I'll go when

-I

-feel like it. When I'm ready, then I'll go.

-He's gonna be all right.

-Come on, don't talk like an idiot.

-Don't call me an idiot.

-Then don't talk like one.

Listen, he's gonna be fine. They just have to clean out his system.

-What the hell are you talking about, clean out his system?

-Shut up, Jackie.

Give me a quarter, Con, for the box.

-You're not gonna play that song again.

-Just be quiet.

# I'll understand

# And darling you are not to blame

# If when we kiss it's not the same

# I'll understand

# It's not your fault

# Because your heart has changed its mind

# You didn't mean to be unkind

# I'll understand

# Forgetting you will be far from easy

# I've grown used to your charms

# Same old thrill

# No-one can see the place you know

# If you find

# Our love was really meant to be

# Then hurry back to me

# And I'll understand

# No-one understands

# No darling you were not to blame. #

Subtitles by Roger Young BBC Scotland - 2001

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