Bad Company

This film contains some strong language.

Your friend is late.

He'll be here.

Oh, yeah? I do have other bidders.

I personally vouch for this man.

Oh, well, I trust you, Michael, but...

you see, with each degree of separation

comes a degree of uncertainty.

Mr Turner.

Mr Vas.

The KGB once tried

to set me up,

so I had to kill three of their agents,

and then I hunted down their families.

The point is,

if I sense anything out of the ordinary...

No, the point is,

I haven't seen anything from you yet

to justify a payment of 20 million.

So, before I hand over a small fortune

and risk my life,

I want to know 100% that you can, in fact,

deliver the device.

That's the point.

Very well.

Michelle...

owner's manual.

This is your show of good faith?

Well, you're still alive.

You consider that a show of good faith.

Now, what do you have for me?

Down payment...

1 million.

So, when do I get the device?

Let's say ten days.

Michael,

you take that telephone, and I will call you

and tell you how to proceed.

You keep it on you all the time.

As for you, sir, the next time we meet,

I suggest you be on time.

Nice coat.

Well done.

See you around.

So far, so good?

Yeah, so far.

-Kevin's got a tail.

-Is it Vas?

No, they don't look Russian.

'But they don't look friendly.'

We'd better go back for him.

You ordered us not to jeopardise our cover, sir.

Hey, turn left.

Turn left!

TYRES SCREECH

Kill him!

Ambush on the castle steps, sir.

Come on, faster.

Let's go!

GRUNTING AND SHOUTING

ALL SCREAMING

Get down! Get down!

Get down!

There he is! Pull over!

You're jeopardising the mission.

Uhh!

You are the mission.

Uhh!

God, that was close.

Did you see who they were?

Kevin?

Doesn't this all smack of extreme desperation?

A nuclear bomb

that fits neatly into a carry-on suitcase?

Kevin spends two years

getting close to these people

in order to position you as the buyer.

Vas won't deal with anyone else,

and we have nine days to make this work.

I'd say desperation was the order of the day.

Maybe Vas set Kevin up.

My guess is, it's a rival buyer.

Could be Pakistanis, Chechnyans, North Koreans.

Libyans.

Try the entire Middle East.

Adrik Vas is a businessman. He'll take anyone's money.

So, why kill Kevin if they could just outbid him?

Cos we have deeper pockets, that's why.

He priced them out of the game.

Who do you think it is?

Well, the Cold War is over.

These guys don't wave flags any more,

and fanaticism, terrorism is global.

Well, whoever it is decided to eliminate the competition

and force Vas to deal with them.

So, the future of the so-called free world

may rest in this young man's hands.

Jake Hayes here - Big-Time Tickets.

Whatever you want, I'll get you.

Yankees, third base line.

Knicks, courtside. Rangers, on the ice.

Masters, I'll put you on Tiger's tee, right?

No matter what you want, I got it for you.

Big-Time Tickets. What you need?

Oh, come on, man.

You're gonna call me three hours before tip-off

against the Lakers?

The Knicks sell out every game, money.

Since I like you, for 850, I'll get you section 24,

row 9. 12 back from the bench.

Right behind Woody with a good view of Spike,

unless he's got that turban thing on his head,

lookin' like Yasser Araneck.

Check.

Hold on a second.

What's up? Big-Time Tickets.

Jake Hayes. What you want?

Checkmate.

Lion King? I can't do that.

Jake Hayes here.

Big-Time Tickets.

Mr Johnson, you gonna go to the game tonight,

or you want to do some business?

He's kickin' your ass!

Hey, don't look at me.

You need to watch that castle,

'bout to bitch-slap your bishop.

Ehhhh! You lose, opie.

Damn!

OK, so I'll give you 400 for the two.

Yo, Jake, let's get a slice.

Hold on one second.

Hello? Big-Time Tickets.

Hey.

Hey, man. I can't... I can't go.

You always workin'.

Hey, honey. What's up?

OK, I'm gonna pick you up from work.

Then we'll talk all about it.

OK, love you, too. Bye.

I gotta pick up my girl, man.

So check this out...

you're gonna do this, right?

Then I'm gonna do this.

Then you're gonna do this.

Then I'm gonna do this.

Then you're gonna want to do this.

But I'm gonna do this,

and when you're thinkin' about doing this,

I'm gonna do this. Then the game's over.

So why don't you give me 20 right now,

and we'll save 20 minutes?

Screw you.

You didn't know chess was a contact sport,

did you?

INDISTINCT CHATTERING

Hey, honey.

Julia Benson. She's a nurse's aide.

They've been together three years.

She lives with her sister and brother-in-law

in Jersey City.

Amazing resemblance to Kevin, sir.

-Yeah.

-TAPE WINDING BACK

Like seeing a ghost.

I don't know

how you're gonna react.

Heh.

Come on. Wait a minute.

I should've known.

The mood swings,

the weight gain.

What weight gain?

You're pregnant. You're pregnant.

I want everybody to know. Hey, everybody!

My woman's havin' a baby,

and we're gettin' married!

ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD

I'm not pregnant.

You know, we don't have to get married.

I mean, marriage is a big step.

We should wait a while. We're young.

I'm moving to Seattle.

Seattle, like,

Seattle Supersonics, Seattle?

Wait a minute. That's... That's pretty far.

I got offered a job there.

What kind of job are you gonna get in Seattle

that you can't get in New York?

A friend of mine from junior college called.

-Who?

-Kenneth.

Your ex-man Ken?

Look, he's managing a company out there,

and he offered.

So, you're leaving me and going back to Ken.

No.

Are you leaving me?

Sort of, but it's not...

So, you're leaving me and going back to Kenneth?

That's what I asked you.

The Ken part is just business.

And what's the leaving me part?

Pleasure?

Pain.

Your sister put you up to this. She never liked me.

It's been three years, Jake.

I know it's been three years.

And we're in the same situation

that we were in when we met.

Meaning, we're not married.

We're not married,

we can't afford to get married.

And it doesn't look like it's ever gonna change.

You know, poor people do get married.

I know, but I don't feel like fighting with you

every day because we're broke.

I mean, marriage is hard enough

without being poor.

Hey, what happened to the love?

What happened to all that romance?

You know I love you.

But you are living in this fantasy.

It's like you're waiting for some kind of miracle.

I gotta live in reality.

I am not gonna be young forever.

Oh, I see, so you gotta put yourself

back on the market while the merchandise is still fresh.

You act like there's a damn expiration date

on your forehead!

Come on, come on.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You think I like living like this?

Movin' tickets, hustlin' checks,

DJ'ing at these little clubs?

I know, I should've stayed in college.

I messed up. I messed up.

I'll go back to college.

I love you, Jake.

I love you, too.

But I...

So, when are you leaving?

Couple weeks.

But we'll talk before then.

Why?

Jake...

RAP MUSIC PLAYING

What's up, man?

Hey, what's up? What's wrong?

Julie left me.

Sorry. Um, I gotta go.

But I'll catch you tomorrow.

# I'm all out of love

# I'm so lost without you

# I know you were right

# Believing for so long

# I'm all out of love

# What am I without you?

# I can't be too late... #

Hey, you get your shit together,

or I'm gonna have to fire your ass!

That's right!

# I want you to come back and carry me home

# Away from these long, lonely nights

# There's no easy way

# It gets harder each day

# Please love me or I'll be gone

# I'll be gone

# I'm all out of love

# I'm so lost without you

# I know you were right

# Believing for so long

# I'm all out of love

# What am I without you?

# It can't be too late

# To say that I was so wrong... #

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Julie, Julie, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, Big-Time Tickets.

Yeah, for what game?

Well, how much you want to spend?

Yeah, I can get it.

'So, where you at?

'Where the hell's that?'

Thank you very much. Now, er, take off.

Whatever.

-Hop out.

-Hey, what's up?

-Give me your phone.

-What's up?

Hey, hey! Come on, now! What y'all want?

-Hey, hey, come on!

-Relax.

You know how hard it was for me to get a cab

to come up here?

I hope y'all givin' me a ride back.

Come on, I know you're cops, man.

What do you want, money? Oh, yeah, I understand.

Y'all shot somebody, and now y'all need a suspect.

Mr Hayes?

Jacob Hayes?

I'm Officer Oakes,

that's Officer Seale,

Officer Swanson, Officer Carew.

What, CIA? What's that for? "Crackers in my ass"?

You're gonna arrest me for scalpin' tickets?

We just want to talk to you about something.

About what?

About your brother.

You got the wrong guy. I don't even have a brother.

That's just a picture of me in a suit.

You could've got that off the internet.

I saw a picture of Bill Gates

with three titties on the net.

OK, September 8th, 1970,

Bellevue Hospital, New York City,

a woman registered as Mary Jeffries

gives birth to identical twins,

but suffers complications

during labour,

and dies the next day.

What about the father?

Thomas B Jeffries.

Presumed alive. Whereabouts unknown.

The state rarely separates twins,

but one of the infants, Jacob, that's you,

was diagnosed with severe lung infection.

You still have the scar from the chest tube,

the incision mark.

An administrator at the hospital

altered the birth record

to give the healthy child

a better chance at adoption.

A week later, Roger and Glenda Pope

took in Kevin Jeffries.

The Popes never knew. Kevin never knew.

So, I have a twin brother. Big deal.

What's the CIA have to do with this?

What, what, he couldn't send me a letter?

Your brother's dead.

How?

A helicopter crash.

We need your help, Mr Hayes.

Your brother was working on something with us.

My twin brother was CIA?

Yeah, a clandestine operative.

And just before he was killed,

he set up a deal.

What kind of deal?

A very important one.

So, we need you to stand in for him,

um, just briefly.

Pretend I'm him?

-Yeah.

-For how long?

Nine days.

Nine days, that's not standin' in.

Standin' in is like an hour.

Nine days, that's like goin' on tour.

Is this shit dangerous?

Yeah, there's some risk.

Well, what kind of risk? We talkin' bad credit risk,

or a bullet in the ass risk?

You'd be well compensated.

For a bullet in the ass risk?

I hope that's a lot of compensation. How much?

Throw out a number.

A billion dollars.

You've overshot.

Well, I don't know what kind of budget you're working with.

Well, we were thinking somewhere

in the region of, let's say, er, 25,000.

50. Yeah, 50. I figure you started with 25,

so I know you got more.

You ain't gonna give me all your money. 50,000.

This is what I'm thinking, Mr Hayes.

With 25,000, your girlfriend Julie

could go to college.

She wouldn't have to go to Seattle.

Or work with Ken.

OK, here's what I'm thinkin'.

You're gonna give me 50,000 tax-free.

OK, 50,000 after tax,

after the job is done.

Half now, half after.

Ten now, 40 after.

Unless my mother had triplets,

you're gonna give me ten now, 90 after.

OK, you got a deal.

So, when do we start?

Now.

This is your brother's file.

Study it.

So there's homework.

-Preparation.

-OK.

Let's see, Dad sits on the board

of the New York Stock Exchange.

Mom, co-artistic director

at Lincoln Centre. Must've been nice.

In my foster house, we were so poor,

we used to lick stamps for dinner.

Let's see. Prep...

Prep school at Exeter.

Then college at Dartmouth.

Served in the naval academy.

That's right.

What'd he serve, lunch?

Oh, man. "Rhodes scholar".

So my brother was real smart, huh?

Yeah.

Damn, the CIA is cheap.

Y'all could've at least got me a queen size.

What's this, Jack size?

Hey, er, what's that "zachod" mean?

It's Czech for "bathroom".

You'll find the room labelled

with phonetic translations.

Why?

Because the deal goes down in the Czech Republic.

Czech Republic?

Here's a dictionary.

Hey, how do I get an outside line?

I need somebody to feed my cat.

You don't have an outside line,

and you don't have a cat.

OK, so what am I supposed to be doing here?

There's a tape in the VCR. It's a video of your brother.

Watch it. The way he talks

and the way he moves.

I know there's a lot to deal with here,

but we're all behind you.

We'll start in the morning. You got any questions?

Yeah, if my brother was such a genius,

then how come he's dead?

5am.

Hey, I don't do 5am.

So, bottom line, what are our chances?

Well, I'd say anywhere between, er, nil and zero.

Why do you say that?

Well, I grant you, he's got potential.

He's pretty street-smart.

In six months, he could probably

fool his brother's own parents.

But eight days? Come on, you gotta be kidding.

Probably get himself killed on this mission

and anyone else who goes along with him.

Would you like to be replaced on the mission?

Why, you're saying you're going ahead

with or without me?

Yeah, that's precisely what I'm saying.

Well, sir,

when do I tell him what this mission involves?

Well, if I were you,

I would tell him as little as possible.

Don't put anything into his head he can't use,

and certainly nothing that could pop out at the wrong time.

OK.

What's he doing now?

He's studying. We told him to learn

a few key phrases in Czech.

RECITING CZECH WORDS

Well, he seems dedicated.

RECITING CZECH WORDS

What's he saying?

He said, "I haven't had my period in three months."

JAKE CONTINUES RECITING

Now what?

"Where's the hospital?

"I have a vaginal infection."

Yeah, this is gonna be really interesting.

Can't wait to get started.

Rise and shine, Mr Hayes! 5am, and all is well.

How about three more hours of sleep

and some breakfast?

How about a nice shower?

Aah! Aah! Hey, hey! What's wrong with you?!

Good morning.

Today we'll be covering basic operations protocol

for the acquisition of foreign assets,

a procedure we like to call "the three I's" -

identifying the target,

initiating the contact,

and infiltrating the network...

Now you do it like him.

Man, this is buggin' me out. I feel like Michael Jackson

lookin' at old album covers.

I mean, look at this guy. He looks like me.

But it's not me.

Yeah.

So, what did he like to do?

I mean, what kind of sports was he into?

What kind of music did he listen to?

He liked music. He liked jazz and classical.

Classical, like... like Run-DMC?

He didn't like rap.

Oh, come on, man. What 29-year-old brother

don't like a little bit of rap?

He didn't listen to rap.

So, what kind of sports was he into?

Skiing.

OK, so you got skiing, the navy, no rap.

Yeah, we'd have had a lot in common.

-Sir.

-Hmm?

THEY WHISPER

What time?

THEY WHISPER

OK. All right.

Thanks.

So, what's up with you and Swanson?

Hmm?

Aw, come on, man. I see there's something goin' on there.

Y'all got a little something goin' on.

Come on, now. Look at you. You're blushing.

Do you mind if I say something to you, Mr Hayes?

My friends, Officer Seale, Officer Swanson,

they have faith in you.

I don't.

And that creates a problem

because you're in so deep with us now

we can never let you go.

So you'd better learn this stuff

stone cold by 0500 hours tomorrow morning.

Or what?

I'll kill you.

Hey, could we start a few hours later tomorrow?

Aah! Aah!

Aaah!

Get dressed.

It's 4:59!

# The new terrors of rock

# On every block

# Late for school, late for work

# But ahead of these cops

# My credit is shot End up dead in a box

# But so my life ain't as pathetic as Pac's

# Right away Blow your life away

# So light your haze

# Hold tight grenades

# So when it blows I'm slightly grazed

# Kuniva might be crazed Unleashin' unlikely rage

# The next time you hear a verse from me

# I might be caged... #

Swirl. Checking for sediment.

Sniff...

HE INHALES

..and taste.

-Morning, Mr Hayes. 5am.

-No, 5:01.

# I believe in people tryin'

# I believe in people cryin'

# I believe in people breathin'

# I believe in people bein'... #

Pope. Kevin Pope.

Ha, ha, ha! Look at this suit.

Man, I got initials on my cuffs.

Normally, the only thing I ever have on my cuffs is steak sauce.

They say "MT". What's that for?

Michael Turner.

But I thought I was Kevin Pope.

Kevin Pope IS Michael Turner.

Michael Turner is Kevin Pope's cover identity.

He is a very successful, very knowledgeable,

very sophisticated international dealer

in fine antiquities.

Well, if I'm Jake Hayes playing Kevin Pope

playing Michael Turner, then I should get two cheques.

Cheers.

This is a very rare expensive cognac.

What do you think?

Dry. But never precocious.

I love your shirt. Egyptian broadcloth?

Three days. Pretty impressive.

Yeah, he's bright.

I think he can do it.

He's got my vote.

I said he was bright.

I didn't say he was capable of saving the world.

Let's run a real test.

Like what?

Send him up to New York.

Put him in Kevin's apartment.

Let the neighbours, the doorman,

everybody get a look at him.

See if they buy him as Michael Turner.

Might even serve a double purpose.

Whoever tried to kill Kevin as Michael Turner

probably doesn't know he's dead.

Might still be looking for him.

So we dangle him, use him as bait,

keep him in the dark.

He'll be protected.

What do we tell him?

You're giving him a chance to practise being Kevin.

That's all you need to tell him.

You're the boss.

You see the van in front of us?

The one behind us? Those are our guys.

Here's my cell phone number.

Use it if you get into any kind of trouble.

What kind of trouble?

Any kind.

Shark attack? Call you. All right.

Could you pop the trunk?

Take this. Get yourself some shoes.

Little punk.

Mr Turner, welcome back, sir.

Thanks, Tim.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

How was Europe?

Like another country.

Ha, ha, ha!

Whoo!

You could put this on MTV Cribs.

Man, this is dope!

God...

'So if I paid taxes,

'this is where the money would go, huh?'

Could have a Puffy party in here.

Let's get some music in here.

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

Whoa-oh-oh!

HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS

What's that music?

Just hip-hop stuff.

It's terrible.

Jake, it's your downstairs neighbour, Mrs Patterson.

DOORBELL RINGS

Don't forget the radio.

OK.

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

Hi, Michael! Welcome back.

Mwah. Mwah.

Vera, how are you?

Fine. Fine, thank you.

Hi, Annabella.

We just came in and the doorman said you were back.

Annabella missed you.

Oh, you're far too kind.

I've been waiting desperately

for you to come back.

Oh? Why?

I bought a little treasure.

Come on down and tell me if I got a good buy.

-Oh, OK.

-Hold your baby.

-Yes, my baby.

-How was your trip?

This is gonna be a disaster.

Hello! Go see your nanny, baby.

What do you think? Is it a good piece?

Uh...

It's exquisite.

Ooh! Do you think?

Go ahead, pick it up. Feel it.

Just see how delicate it is.

Uh, pick it up, right?

Yes. Just grab it and pick it up.

Michael...

that's what we keep the doggy treats in.

Of course, I knew that.

I was just getting it out of the way

-so I could see...

-The vase.

Of course, the vase! Yes!

May I ask, how much did you pay for this?

150,000.

Good lord! What you gonna put in it, cocaine?!

He fooled the doorman, he fooled the neighbour,

and the neighbour's dog. What more do you want?

Oakes, we need to know who's after that bomb.

You're willing to sacrifice him to find out?

Don't be dramatic. He's got plenty of protection.

I'll tell you when to pull him.

HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS

# Never safe, you're never sure

# Something's all wrong... #

Hope y'all not watching this.

I don't have to watch this, do I, sir?

-Oh, no. Holy shit!

-Code red.

Code red! Code red!

YELLING

Aah!

Parish, McCain, cover the exits!

Help! Help! Help!

God.

Whoa!

Aah!

Sir, he's headed for the roof.

-We need him alive.

-Yes, sir.

-Whoa!

-Oh!

WOMAN YELLS

Drop the knife.

Hey, Elvis, if you drop the knife and step down,

no-one is going to hurt you.

HE PANTS

HE YELLS

So...

who's got Jake?

Well, these last ten minutes will be used

as a teaching aid on how an operation can get totally...

-Screwed up, sir?

-Thank you.

We'll find him, sir.

CELL PHONE RINGS

Yeah? Where are you?

At the corner of "eat shit" and "fuck you"!

I'm not gonna let you trace me! I'll call you back!

I'm stuck in traffic. I ask you to do one simple...

Give me that!

Yo!

Run fingerprints, DNA, anything we can get

on the guy who jumped off the roof.

Yes, sir.

He looks Afghani, sir.

Don't assume anything. Just find Jake.

-Yes, sir.

-Jake...

Kevin was murdered! And now they're gonna murder me, right?!

Let's meet some place and I'll...

No more bullshit!

We lost him because we lied to him.

No, you lost him because you lost him.

We treated him like an idiot.

He had a right to know what we were doing with him.

We're wasting time! Find him and bring him back

and spare me your conscience.

Spare my conscience!

Take it easy, buddy.

Bye-bye.

# It's called chillin'

# Six million ways to live

# Six million ways to live life...#

Yeah?

Hello? Pam, it's Jake. Can I talk to Julie?

She don't want to talk to you.

Who's on the phone?

Pam, I need to talk to Julie. Please. This is serious.

It is Jake? Wait, let me talk to him!

She's moving on.

Give me the phone.

We don't need no more trouble, Jake,

and you ain't nothing but trouble.

Pam...

Two suits came around today looking for you.

POLICE SIREN WAILS

'Give me the phone!'

Hey, hey, hey. Shit! Your phone's tapped.

If Julie's there, tell her I love her,

and, Oakes, if you're listening, kiss my ass!

-You get a trace?

-No.

Tch. He hung up.

# It's called chillin'

# Six million ways to live

# Six million ways to live life... #

Mr Hayes, where are you?

Where in the hell are you?

# Six million ways to live lavish

# Beyond all the misery And mathematics

# Six million ways to live

# Six million ways to live

# Six million ways to live lavish

# Yawn for the misery of mathematic

# From the six million ways to live

# Six million ways to live... #

Ma!

-Help! Help!

-Ma!

-Ma! Ma! Ma!

-Somebody help!

Ma, please! It's me! Ma, it's me! It's me!

Jakey?

Yeah, yeah. You gonna break my arm.

Well, what are you doing in the dark?

Some people are looking for me.

What did you do?

What did you do?!

I didn't do nothin'! I didn't do nothin'!

It's not what you think. It's not the police.

It's way too hard to explain.

Look at this.

Eight foster kids I've taken into my house over the years,

and all of them made something of themselves,

and not one of them had your potential!

Oh, come on, Ma!

Sellin', scramblin' and hustlin'.

Ma, did you know I had a brother?

Oh, stop talking crazy. You had lots of brothers.

How's that nice girl I met last Christmas?

She left me.

Hand me that umbrella so I can hit you again.

You know, Ma, maybe it wasn't my fault.

You need money?

No.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I need money.

How much do you need?

I won 250 at bingo.

It's just for a little while. I'll pay you back.

I know.

Want something to eat?

You know what? I really gotta go.

I'm never giving up on you, Jakey.

You're going to do something to make me very proud one day.

I know it.

I owe you an apology.

You hear me?

I was just wondering

how many of your people are listening in.

No, we're alone. No cameras, no wires.

Just me.

You got the floor.

Your brother was assassinated.

By the same guys who came after me, right?

I guess so. Doing the same job as you.

Which is what?

Your brother, as Michael Turner,

was helping me buy something off the black market.

What? Cuban cigars? PlayStation 3? What?

I can't tell you if you're not coming back in with us.

I'm not comin' back in if you ain't telling me.

Your brother died saving my life. Did you know that?

Wish it had been otherwise, but that's the way it is.

How are his parents taking it?

You didn't tell his parents?

No. That's the way we want it.

How would you feel if you died, and nobody told your wife?

I'm not married.

What, there's no Mrs Spy?

Not any more.

Relationships and attachments are useless in this business.

So that's how this job is.

Even if they don't shoot you, they take your life.

I know it sounds hokey, but I honestly believe

our lives are about something bigger than ourselves,

and I'm offering you a chance to commit yourself to something.

You ain't offering me nothin'

but a chance at getting a bullet in my ass.

I don't see the higher meaning in that.

Tell you what I'm gonna do.

-Thank you.

-No problem.

I'll go outside and sit in the car

and I'll count to 10. If you want to join me, fine.

If not, I'll tell the agency I couldn't find you.

We can't pull this job off without you.

We need you.

Think about it.

HE SIGHS

Oh, well.

That didn't work, did it?

No. "I'm gonna go outside and count to ten"?

Who the hell are you?

You'd have done better with, "Bitch, get in the car."

HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF

OK. Get in the car...

bitch.

This is the man who tried to kill you.

We now know that he's a member of a multi-national terrorist organisation led by this man.

Meet the man who killed your brother -

Dragan Adjanic.

He's wanted by the Hague for terrorist crimes

against humanity, so he's a fugitive

everywhere in the world, including his own country.

He calls his movement "The Black Hand."

His members take a death pledge,

becoming suicide soldiers to further their cause.

Last year, the FBI caught four of his men

in a Washington DC motel

with enough urea nitrate to level the Capitol building.

He doesn't like America, and he doesn't like you.

Wait a minute. What did I do?

He's your rival buyer.

For the item that this man has to sell.

Now, this is Adrik Vas.

He's a Russian ex-army colonel, kingpin in the Russian mafia.

He's up to his neck in prostitution, drugs and extortion.

Sounds like anybody I went to high school with!

This is Vas's right-hand man.

His name is Michelle Petrov,

otherwise known as "The Hammer."

Remember these faces, because you're going to be seeing them soon.

Why do they call this guy "The Hammer?"

Whoa! Ooh.

MUFFLED YELLING

MUFFLED YELLING

Aah!

What?!

Good evening. Isn't this fun?

This is an exercise known as King's Game.

It's meant to test your awareness.

What can you tell me about your attackers?

They woke me up. Look, man,

if you want me to spy, I'm gonna need my rest.

How many were there?

Didn't I just say they woke me up?!

That's the weird thing about an ambush.

Next time we'll try and warn you(!)

Do you understand what happened to you just now?

Yeah. I was jacked!

No, you panicked. When you thought you were in danger,

your brain shut down.

So what's the point of having a good brain

if you can't keep it operating?

My brain didn't shut down.

I knew it was Swanson cos I could feel her tits on my back.

I knew it was Carew cos his breath smelled like shit.

Probably from kissing your ass so much.

I knew it was Seale because I took his wallet.

Hey, Seale, why's a married man need a condom? Your wife know?

You want to know how I knew it was you?

OK, thank you. Game's over. Good night.

Oh, where you going? You gonna leave like that? Come back!

Y'all got me up! Let's do something!

Let's hit a club or something.

Based on our intelligence projections,

and the text manual provided by agent Pope,

this is a mock-up of what you'll be buying.

Does it play DVDs?

It's a portable thermonuclear weapon.

So that's a bomb?

It's a reproduction.

Last year, a Russian suitcase bomb

was stolen from a dismantling facility in the Ural mountains.

Your brother tracked it down, we need you to recover it.

Two things you're gonna have to do...

Would one of them be shittin' in my pants?

Welcome to Prague.

Looks like Newark.

Welcome back to the hotel, Mr Turner.

Thank you.

Mr Turner. So glad to have you back, sir.

Thank you, Lepenka.

Hope you haven't given out my room.

Certainly not, sir.

This is beautiful.

Her name is Lenka.

You just called her "Lepenka,"

which means "cardboard."

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, ho-ho, ho!

Man, it's gonna be hard to go back to Jersey.

We'll be in the suite across the hall

with full video and audio surveillance of this room.

All right, now, when I go to the bathroom,

press the pause button.

Just stay in the room. You've got nothing to worry about.

Except for my little date with a nuclear bomb.

OK, this is our lifeline. Our only link to Adrik Vas.

Nothing happens till he calls,

don't let it out of your sight,

and remember, from now on, there's no Jake, there's no Kevin,

only Michael Turner.

Well...

I think I'm gonna like being Michael Turner.

# Pretty woman... #

Think maybe you want to take a look at this.

OK, what the hell's he up to now?

# Pretty woman... #

WOMEN GIGGLING

SONG CONTINUES IN CZECH

Hey!

Fish egg?

WOMEN LAUGH

Beluga, sir. It's 12,000 crowns an ounce.

Party's over.

Naw, the party just started.

Soon as y'all leave, I'm gonna have my ass buffed.

WOMEN LAUGH

Hey! This little piggy go to market...

Put my initials on the big toe.

People need to know whose feet this is.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

-That's Vas. Where's the cell phone?

-Phone, phone, phone...

RINGING

Thank you.

GIGGLING

Shhh!

Hello?

Yeah, we'll be there.

It's Vas. The deal's on in an hour.

Now your eye.

Look right into the computer screen.

Blink for confirmation.

OK, that's it.

All right. From this point on,

only you will be able to access your computer.

It won't operate without your retinal signature,

your eyes, so when they show you the bomb,

connect your laptop, determine if the bomb is the real thing,

and take enough time doing it

so Wells can download their arming codes,

and hopefully, their disarming codes, into our computer.

Good luck, Mr Hayes.

We have visual.

You'll do fine.

Everyone's nervous the first day of school.

I always cut the first day of school.

Don't worry.

You're covered from every angle.

I can't wait to meet "The Hammer."

Oh, these guys must be "The Toolbox."

Should we move in, sir?

No. Not until we're sure they brought the bomb.

There's too much at stake.

Nice coat.

Gentlemen, are we going to do business or aren't we?

Depends, Michael.

Where have you been for the last nine days?

I don't believe that concerns you.

On the contrary. It concerns me very much.

We make a deal, you disappear. Doesn't look good, my friend.

Heads up, McCain. Be advised targets are armed.

Maintain your positions.

Everyone maintain your position.

Copy that, sir.

Do we have a problem?

I don't know. You tell me. Do we have a problem?

Do we?

Give me the cell phone I gave you earlier.

Don't worry. I only made collect calls.

Look, I don't know what this is about, but..

No, you don't, so shut up. Neither does Mr Turner.

You see, this cell phone has a global positioning system.

It'll tell me exactly where you've been the last nine days. Fantastic, eh?

Well, haven't you been busy?

You get around. Berlin, Rome, Zurich.

And not one decent treasure to show for it.

Now, where's the money?

Where's the product?

Nearby.

So, how do we do this?

I'm gonna call you on this cell phone,

then you have one hour to get the money, Michael.

Then I'll call you again

and tell you where to bring it to.

You understand?

I'm gonna have to run some tests,

so make sure you bring authentic merchandise.

Fair enough.

I wouldn't buy a car without checking under the hood. Ha!

Are we agreed?

Yes.

No.

We're not bringing money anywhere.

No?

I'll have someone transfer the remaining 19 million

when Mr Turner tells us we have a viable device.

It'll be done by computer.

One of my men will be standing by at this address.

You will send one of your brain trusts

to verify the money's in your account, and that's it.

Give you a hostage?

Yeah, and you get one.

We'll call it a security deposit which neither of us will get back

if we screw up, or if we leave a mess.

It's that simple.

Now we have an agreement, I think.

Agreed.

Don't you go disappearing on me again, Michael.

Hey, you did real well, Mr Hayes.

You knew they wouldn't bring it, right?

Uh-huh.

Standard procedure.

Guys like him won't risk getting screwed on the first date.

What if you hadn't changed the chip in the phone?

Well, it would have told him that the phone had already

travelled to CIA headquarters in Langley,

and they'd have shot both of us in the heads.

I'm hungry. How about you?

I think I'm gonna pass.

Then good night.

SHOWER RUNS

# Even if I

# Forget why

# You'll always give me

# Another reason

# This is no empty promise

# I can depend upon it

# You'll always love me like that... #

Oh! Michael!

Hi!

This place comes with everything, huh?

Could you, er, get me a towel?

Very funny. Ahem.

I knew you'd be surprised.

I didn't think you'd be shocked.

Aw!

Hey, you want some room service?

No. I'd like a good stiff drink.

Oh, shit, it's Nicole.

What?

This isn't exactly the welcome I expected.

Wassup?

Honey, I made dinner reservations

at our favourite place.

I love that place.

Honey, aren't you happy to see me?

-Yeah.

-Good.

-Aah.

-Mm.

KNOCK ON DOOR Uh, I gotta get that.

I'll be right back.

How are you doing?

Well, you see how I'm doing!

Yeah. We have a problem.

Yeah. You know, where I'm from

people pay a lot of money for problems like that.

That's Nicole. That's, er, Kevin's...

I mean Michael's girlfriend.

She works for CNN in Europe.

So how come didn't you tell me Michael had a girlfriend?

Well, they broke up several weeks ago.

They had a fight, and she walked out.

Well, it looks like she forgave him.

What the hell did he fight with her fine ass for?

Well, apparently he had intimacy problems.

He was distant, some kind of psychotherapy crap.

Anyway, she went off to cover the Balkans.

OK, so what do you want me to do?

Take her to dinner.

She's CNN.

If you handle this badly, she could blow your cover. OK?

-OK.

-Good.

...cheat. Just...

don't cheat...

just...don't cheat...

just...don't cheat...

just say...

That was Jehovah's witnesses!

Just...

Michael...

I hope you're hungry, baby.

# She's willin' to share

# We hoppin' in the whip and we leavin' here so

# Somebody turn the music up...#

Yeah, I just gotta go brush my teeth.

# Everybody come on knock it up tonight

# One of these ladies... #

Ohhh!

-ANSWER MACHINE:

-'Hey! You've reached the residence

'of Pam, Marvin, Julie, and the kids. Leave a message.'

'Julie, it's Jake. Are you there?'

OK, if you haven't left yet, please wait for me.

Please, please.

I got a new job.

'It's totally legit.

'And I've changed.

'I've totally changed.

'I'm a new man.'

I'm the man who loves you.

I love you. I love you so much.

I didn't even know how much I loved you till two minutes ago.

-It's Jake.

-'Honey, I am ready to do anything...'

-Julie!

-I love him!

-No, you don't!

-'...big sacrifices.'

Honey, what's taking you so long?

Big sacrifices.

'Please wait for me. Please wait for me.'

Jake, I heard you. I heard every word, baby.

I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here.

I love you so much!

-RECORDED TONE

-Jake?

-RECORDING:

-'If you'd like to make a call...

-Jake? Hello! Jake!

'..and try again.

'If you'd like to make a call...'

# I need to find a place

# A higher space... #

Thank you.

# ..Where I can get over you

# Cos you were so far away...#

So are you gonna make me grovel?

No, not unless you want to.

Is this fish?

Yeah, of course. You love fish.

Uh, that's right. I love fish,

but that's before I became a vegetarian.

Oh, waiter, waiter.

Uh, I can't eat this.

Can you get me something else?

How about a steak, medium well?

-Please?

-Of course, sir.

Ah, thanks a lot.

I thought you were a vegetarian.

Vegetarian? I'll eat a pig's ass if they cook it right!

But enough about me. How about those Balkans?

I missed you, Michael.

I'm sorry I left.

# I feel alone

# Gone, run from me

# I tried to tell myself... #

What's the matter?

There's somebody else.

There is? Hmm. When did that happen?

Right after you left.

I left you two weeks ago.

I mean, er...

Did you meet her here in Prague?

No, in Jersey.

New Jersey?

Yeah, I was in New York,

and Jersey's right next to New York,

and I just took a little day trip.

Who is she? What does she do?

Well, she's a nurse's aide at, er, Saint Sebastian's hospital.

Her name's Julie. She's got curly hair.

-LAUGHING:

-I get it.

You want me to jump through a couple of hoops

before you take me back. OK. I have it comin'.

# It's killing me... #

But I'm willing to work for it.

# Oh-oh-oh

# You're not here with me

# Ooh-ooh-ooh, so far away

# Baby

# I-I-I... #

Ah-ah-ah!

Nicole!

You hurt me really bad.

And I can't just let you yo-yo with my heart, OK?

You hurt me, and I'm never gonna let it happen again!

Love don't live here any more!

Michael, I've never seen you like this.

So...open.

So...

So in touch with your feelings.

Like you could really be in love

with a nurse from New Jersey!

You're just much more...

Mmm...warm and, and, and vulnerable, and... and funny!

Is that like...

You didn't used to be funny before.

That's funny "ha ha" funny

or funny "This milk tastes funny" funny?

See? That's funny!

Mmm...

You're not Michael Turner.

Uh-oh.

Jake and Nicole are back.

Yeah, and they've got company.

OK, let's join the party.

I'm Michael.

I don't know who you think you are, but you're not Michael Turner.

You gotta believe me. I'm Michael.

-You're not Michael.

-I'm Michael.

Aah!

-Aah!

-Come on!

Who's shooting at us?

Rival antique dealers!

Oh!

Ah! Ah!

Down here.

I'm sorry I haven't been totally honest with you.

So you're not Michael!

Well, we have the same DNA,

which makes us kinda the same person.

Come on. In here!

-Come on, get down.

-What is this?

Come on, come on.

This a laundry chute? Eww, it smells in here.

It's just dirty drawers. Shh.

Quiet. Shh.

Don't you try to play footsie with me.

Shh.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Will you shut that off?

With what? My ass? Reach in my pants.

Hell, no!

You've reached in my brother's pants!

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

God!

Uh...hello?

-VAS:

-'Mr Turner.'

Vas. You caught me at a real bad time.

What are you doing? Just hang up.

Would you shut the hell up?

-No, you shut up!

-Don't start!

-Can I call you back? VAS:

-'Don't bother.

'The Olsany cemetery. Two hours.'

Shit!

(There's people comin'. (There's people comin'.)

(Quiet.)

Aah!

Ah-oh!

Aah! Aah!

GUNSHOT

JAKE AND NICOLE SCREAM

-Aah!

-Aah!

-Aah!

-Aah!

-Ah-ah-ah!

-Ah!

-Oh!

I knew I couldn't trust Michael!

Always so secretive. Just downright sneaky.

Never even told me that he had a brother.

Some investigative reporter I am, huh?

This antique dealing stuff, this is just a front, right?

You're drug dealers.

You're not even denying it.

I'm going back to the Balkans where I'm safe.

-See, I told you I'd handle it.

-Very smooth.

Sir, those were Dragan Adjanic's men. All dead.

Well, obviously, HE thinks you're still alive.

Uh, by the way...

Vas called. We're on in two hours.

Olsany Cemetery.

As we speak, our field operatives

are staking out their perimeter positions.

They'll be with you all the way.

So will we. Officer Wells has installed

a G4 satellite tracking device to your vehicle.

Unfortunately, that's all we can manage safely.

Vas'll be more worried about wire taps than weapons.

You can expect him to check both your car and you.

Seale is on his way to the money transfer site.

We want you to connect the bomb to the computer

and begin the verification process as soon as possible.

Most importantly, once you've connected the bomb,