Sirens

This film contains some strong language.

ETHEREAL FEMALE VOICES

# But the hardest part in a sailor's day

# Is to watch the sun as it dies away

# The finest ship that sailed the sea

# Is still a prison

# For the likes of me

# But give me wings like Noah's dove

# I'll fly above her

# To the girl I love. #

Woof!

The curator removed the paintings

and wrote to the artist inviting him to submit some alternatives.

The offer was refused point blank. He's threatened to go to the press.

This is Mr Norman Lindsay I take it.

You've heard of him.

I like to keep abreast.

The last thing we want is a scandal.

Anyway, here they are.

Yes.

The first three are merely vulgar

but this one is certainly blasphemous.

I gather you want me to try and talk him round?

It's on your way to your new parish.

To be honest, an outsider has more chance of getting through to him.

I gather you were a progressive at Oxford.

Well, yes, Your Grace...

element of truth in that.

You and your wife can stay the night.

I think he rather relishes the idea

of a good argument.

I'm sure he'd love to shock the socks off any churchman

that goes near him! Your Grace,

may I introduce my wife. I don't think you've met.

Estella, the Bishop of Sydney. My wife Estella.

Welcome to Australia.

Morning.

Tickets, please.

Do you know if there's a taxi waiting?

Yeah. There's not.

I, um...

I understand one was booked to go to Mr Lindsay's place.

Doing a bit of modelling?

No, I certainly am not.

Taxi's been a bit late, lately. You'd be better off at the pub.

May we leave our baggage here?

I'm about to knock off. It'd probably be pilfered.

Would you mind giving us a hand?

Oh, I'm awfully sorry.

I'll forgive you. Millions wouldn't.

Oh, dear.

Try the pub. It's just down the hill.

Morning.

Get fucked. Get fucked.

HE SINGS DRUNKENLY

< Gents only in the bar.

Ladies' lounge is through the door.

We don't want a drink, just a taxi.

Reg is at a funeral.

I see.

You could be in for a long wait.

Oh, yes?

It's his funeral.

Well, thanks.

Hey! I've got my eye on you!

Where youse going?

Mr Lindsay's place.

We're going out that way. We'll give you a lift.

Thank you very much.

After we've finished our beers.

­ BANGING

BANGING CONTINUES

TYRES SCREECH

Anthony?

They can't wait forever.

HE VOMITS

Right, come on, then.

# Praise my soul the King of Heaven

# To his feet thy tribute bring

# Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven

# Who like thee His praise should sing?

# Praise Him, praise Him!

# Praise Him, praise Him!

# Praise the Everlasting King #

< Thanks for the lift.

I don't mean to be rude, but...

you've got some food on the side of your mouth.

Uh-huh. Thanks.

< See you later.

Sorry about that, Piglet. Are you all right?

They swear an awful lot. They tend to, types like that.

They didn't really say anything.

Where is everyone?

Maybe Mr Lindsay changed his mind.

Pooh, look, there's something here.

"Dear visitors, sorry, gone out for a picnic. Make yourselves at home."

I suppose we better not go in.

Let's sit over by the pond.

Mrs Campion?

Hello.

HE GRUNTS What?

Oh, fast asleep there!

You must be Mr Lindsay.

Anthony Campion, my wife Norman...Estella!

Just out from England?

Yes, arrived a couple of weeks ago.

They weren't game to send a local?

You're exactly on our way, so...

Oh, well. Glad you got here in one piece.

Excuse me. I've got to get back to work.

Giddy and Sheila will show you to your room so you can freshen up.

Thank you.

You take that for me. Thank you.

This way, ladies and gents!

Thank you.

Lovely.

You'll have trouble sleeping.

She sleeps next door and snores terribly.

I do not!

She sounds like two possums mating.

That's so horrible. It's not true.

Um...whereabouts is the, er...

Take him out to the thunder box.

Just a tick.

I've never snored in my life.

(I think snoring can be quite charming, actually.) >

This way.

Why a thunder box? Because it's out in the wind and rain?

S'pose.

You need to keep your shoes on.

Stinging nettles?

Yes, and scorpions and centipedes.

Can you swim?

Not very well.

I'll wake you up in the morning. We go swimming every day.

I'm Sheela.

Estella.

Does he always take the Bible to the dunny?

It wasn't the Bible. He just doesn't like wasting time.

Well, from the size of it, he could be there all night.

I should've warned him about the redbacks.

What are they?

Small spiders with big teeth.

Live under toilet seats, usually.

How do you know if they're there?

By the screams.

There you are!

Mr Lindsay's wonderful, isn't he?

He said we were going to do The Sirens next.

They lived on the Island of Atlantis and sang songs from the cliffs.

Sailors were driven mad by these gorgeous voices.

The ships would be wrecked and the sailors would be dragged down

with the voices of The Sirens ringing in their ears.

Myths are a bit stupid, really.

I'll be wearing this.

You could pose too, if you like. He always needs more models. Try it.

There's some male ones too!

It's not quite for us.

You could always wear a dagger strategically placed.

Or a sword.

Whichever you need.

And dinner's ready.

Oh, that's right. I was sent to fetch you.

I don't like people thinking I'm like the other models.

I work here as a maid

but I said I'd pose if I could keep my clothes on.

I think it's important to keep one's mystique, don't you, Mr Campion?

Is it Mr Campion or Father Anthony?

It's, er...it's Tony.

Do you think it's a sin...

Tony?

There's nothing sinful about the human body.

The nude often appears in religious art.

I think it's how the artist uses the body...

that's important.

So, do you think Mr Lindsay's paintings are rude?

Mmm...

Some, I think, are profane.

Oh. Oh, that's good.

I'm starving.

I only eat once a day - my mother's very fat and it runs in the family.

My grandpa's like the Michelin man.

The one with all those tyres around him. He eats like a horse!

It was a very enlightened society. The artists made all the decisions.

That's why there's no record of the Atlantins being at war.

But where was it?

The Mediterranean, maybe. They're always digging up pottery

that doesn't belong to any known civilization.

How could they just disappear?

A cataclysm. They were all wiped out in a cataclysm.

The island sank in an earthquake.

You genuinely believe in Atlantis?

I lived there... in a former incarnation.

I ask, because the cataclysm can be seen as an image of moral collapse.

Many say that's happening again now. Is that what your art is exploring?

People have always been decaying, whenever they can.

-He's a very depraved man, I'm afraid.

-No-one's safe.

I'm bloody bored!

Have you seen those fairies lately?

A couple of them were out last Friday. >

They were not!

They always come out on Fridays.

They do not, do they, Mummy?

Yes, but you don't see them cos you're asleep.

Tonight's Friday.

But then you'd be too bloody bored to see them!

I would not.

I promise I won't be bored.

Even bloody bored?

Promise!

If you're going to be up at midnight you better get to bed now.

Say goodnight to everybody.

Goodnight, everybody!

Do they really come, Mummy?

Fairies only live in books, silly!

With the building of factories, the fairies had nowhere else to live.

Except our imaginations.

Imaginations are a luxury.

I beg your pardon?

Most people can't afford them.

Imagination isn't dependent on economics.

What if you work in a factory, doing the same thing day after day?

An active imagination

is what allows people to do that.

You'd know, of course(!)

I just think that's what you have to do.

You'd have to be imagining other things.

Don't start telling us

what the working class does and doesn't think!

The bishop's hoping we can come to some kind of compromise on this,

find some other work you're happy with.

The great thing is no-one wants to see you excluded from the exhibition.

That is a comfort.

Such an interest by the church!

It's just The Crucified Venus they're uncomfortable with. >

KNOCKING

Pooh?

It's me!

Come in.

Poor old Piglet. That Pru gave you a bit of a working over.

I'll survive.

Did you get anywhere with Mr Lindsay?

He insists it's up to the public to decide if they want to see his work.

They have to see it to decide, by which time the damage is done.

A bit of logic which is lost on him.

Never mind.

I'll have another shot in the morning before we go.

Do you think the pictures actually damage people?

I think the sexual ones are rather childish.

But I do think that negative images don't do anyone much good.

I think The Crucified Venus is offensive and arrogant.

I'm coming! >

Hurry up, stupid!

I'm running as fast as I can, you disgusting thing!

Hmm!

Shall we?

Come on, then.

RUSTLING

GRUNTING

HE SNORES

CHILDREN SING

Swimming?

What's the time?

The train doesn't leave till twelve.

All right.

Anthony.

What'd you do to him?

He's exhausted.

Anthony!

Don't wake him up. He might be dreaming.

It's dangerous to wake somebody up if they're dreaming, because...

you leave part of your brain behind. You can go feeble in the head!

Yeah, you're living proof.

All right, I'll join you in a minute.

THEY SING

Are you rich?

Not very.

What does your father do?

Why do you ask?

Pru thinks you're bourgeois, that's all.

Mine was taken by a shark.

God, how awful!

Yeah. There wasn't much left of him.

I was brought up by my mum. She runs a sweet shop.

But I'm quite ambitious.

I was determined to stay slim. Hard, with chocolate wombats everywhere!

But as you can see, I succeeded.

You wanted to be a model?

No, modelling is just to get known. I'm going to be an actress.

I'll model for Mr Lindsay, then move on to stage and screen.

They're just doing it to show off.

They're very common. Sheela's got 10 brothers and sisters

She wants to be an artist like Norman

but, poor girl, she's hopeless!

And Pru wants to be an aviator!

Aviatrix.

Be careful of the water snakes!

There aren't any water snakes!

Quick! Someone's coming!

Hide!

It's all right. He can hardly see.

Devlin!

Come and have a swim!

Don't get him to come in.

He might brush against you.

Come in.

You shouldn't talk to him. He's a criminal!

You dream about him, don't you?

I do not!

You lie with your eyes closed while he licks your belly button.

You're disgusting...

flaunting yourselves at him!

He wouldn't know if we were dressed or not.

Do you have to do that

in front of Estella?

What's wrong with her?

She'll think we're barbarians!

We are!

Don't! Don't!

Morning.

Morning.

The papers got hold of it.

"The exhibition will convince the English that Australia

"is peopled by degenerates afflicted with sex mania."

Must be why they deported us.

The other news.

We'll be here for another day or so. The train was derailed.

The track has to be repaired.

Rose is going to give us a ride into town later to see how long it'll be.

These flies are remarkably persistent!

I just ate one. It came in on me honey.

Made me feel funny.

In me tummy!

May I speak?

Briefly.

I just wondered if you'd be interested in today's editorial.

I try to ignore the press.

Isn't it hard to sustain your vision

when it flies in the face of public opinion?

No.

The arrows of your detractors simply bounce off?

Vanity is a formidable armour.

Here we go.

"The excesses of Mr Lindsay are a source of consternation

"to clean-living citizens. He paints men and women who seem to be slaves

"of cocaine, which has reduced them to shameless morbidity.

"Today, not content with scorning all standards of decency

"he has chosen to profane the most sacred image, the crucifixion."

As if I give a damn about these Wesleyans and wowsers!

It's not just them.

Many people revere the crucifixion, but you're busy.

Mr Campion, I am an artist...

and I refuse to be compromised by the feeble scruples of the public.

Scruples or deeply-held beliefs?

Now, when I was a boy,

my mother instructed us on the sad story of Jesus.

How he died on the cross for us.

My whole being rose in revolt at the idea.

It's a vile notion that a god should sacrifice himself for us.

It's a pestilent notion!

I couldn't possibly agree with that.

Hang on! The suffering my pictures will cause

is nothing compared to the suffering the church has caused.

The witch trials, the Spanish Inquisition, the slaughter of pagan tribes...

Anyway, there we are. Must get back to work.

FLY BUZZES

The church can't be blamed for everything done in...in...

in its name, but we'll talk later.

TWACK!

Well, now, here's a thing.

Did you see the article on Atlantis? Now they reckon it sank off Norway.

It must've caused a most gigantic tidal wave.

They're looking at the old Nordic texts for evidence.

You're disgusting, Sheela. You should be in a sty.

Watch this. >

Watch Giddy's skin.

Don't you dare!

Don't, Sheela.

One day we're going to tickle you. We're going to keep tickling you...

all over.

Stop it.

Look at her arms and legs.

Look at the goose pimples.

Sheela, keep quiet!

Know who else will be doing it?

Shut up!

He'll be tickling you too.

He will not.

He'll tickle you...

there!

Shush!

If he tickled her, her insides'd go everywhere.

When sea slugs get attacked...

they spit their insides out. You can eat them and go all night.

There are islands where women ambush their favourite men...

and feed them the longest sea slugs.

The men get so incredibly hard...

you can hang heavy clothes and necklaces from their erections.

Doesn't it hurt?

Excruciatingly!

Giddy's guts'd be good for that.

They would not! My giblets are pure and innocent.

< Like my mind!

I hope it's good news, then we can get out of your hair.

Coupla heads more is no bother.

That's very kind of you.

Rose, I suppose I can't prevail on you

to use your influence to help persuade Norman

to withdraw that particular picture?

Mr Campion...

Tony.

Have you actually seen it?

Briefly, in the gallery.

I was the model for it, you see...

Tony.

Ah.

KIDS: One, two, three...charge!

Stop it!

Stop it at once!

Anthony!

Hey! What do you think you're doing?!

Come on, clear off! Get away!

Go on, shoo! All of you. Go away.

What on earth was all that about?

They're just acting out what their parents say.

That Norman's the devil, and we're all witches.

GIRL CACKLES

Go on now, shoo!

You eat sheep poo!

You disgusting things!

SHE BLASTS ON TRUMPET

How do I look?

Very nice.

Can I wear it tonight?

Pru and I are going out with a couple of blokes.

I suppose so.

Do you often try on other people's clothes

without asking?

All the clothes I've ever worn are other people's.

Is this the ship you came out on?

Yes.

My dad was a sailor.

What does he do now?

He's dead.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

A shark took him. They found an arm with his watch.

That's what they buried - the arm.

Still used a normal sized coffin. Just for appearances.

I hadn't realised sharks were so...

Successful?

Do you like your husband?

Do people usually marry people they don't like?

Quite often, I'd say.

VOICES >

Is he the chap you're going out with?

God, no.

He just does odd jobs around the place.

But he can't see.

Can't see much. Norman says it's all a blur.

There was a big fight in the bush.

Went on for hours. Blood everywhere.

In the end, they had to stop cos Devlin was blind.

He can see a bit, but he can't recognise anyone until they speak.

But Giddy thinks he's the best thing...

since Valentino.

It'll be routine for you, I would have thought.

See you tomorrow night, all right? >

For too long, you've kept the sensual side of life in the gloom!

You've made it furtive and guilty!

The church has never denied that sex has an important role!

"Vaginal pessaries require a manipulation

"of her own genital organs which must be repugnant to every woman."

God makes us feel so guilty!

When Dolly Rogers allowed me to play with her,

I seriously thought I'd be struck by lightning!

ALL ARGUE

That's not my point!

If God didn't want us to play with these parts,

why did he make them so much fun?

ARGUING CONTINUES

Here come your lovers. >

Jesus never said anything about chastity.

Some old men on a godforsaken island

suddenly decided the body was bad for the soul.

Atlantis?

Pity for women it wasn't.

The gloomy God of the Old Testament

still has us by the scruff of the neck.

When he was invented, a lot of the pagan religions celebrated sexuality.

So how was this new religion to compete with something so popular?

By saying sex was evil, and that women were, in fact, responsible

for the downfall of mankind!

We've been second class ever since.

Mrs Pankhurst would be proud of you.

Why can't we be priests?

Or popes.

Because we're deafened by the din of our bodies to hear God's word.

May I answer that question?

May I speak?

Come in, boys.

Thanks. Evening, all. >

You're late.

Yeah.

We had to fix up a couple of flyblown sheep.

D'you wash your hands?

-Yeah!

-Twice.

It looks horrible!

Whose side are you on?

You got sheep poo in your fingernails!

CHILDREN GIGGLE

Don't worry, you'll be wearing gloves.

Well, better get going, I suppose.

See youse later.

Try one of these.

They're Turkish.

Don't worry, Giddy. Your time will come.

Any luck?

No.

Is there a piglet in the house said Pooh?

Um?

They're trying to shock us, aren't they?

Church baiting's always been a popular pastime.

I got a lot of it at university.

Atheists think it's funny to roast the dusty old Christian.

The great thing is not to be too dusty.

You should've seen Lindsay's face when I started quoting Joyce!

Something wrong, Piglet?

No.

Those girls are certainly perfect models for Lindsay's orgies.

Shame about Giddy. I think there's hope for her.

She was sticking up for me at dinner. Did you notice?

Oh, dear. I probably shouldn't have brought you here.

Pooh...

Piglet?

I think...

sometimes you have too high an opinion of me.

What on earth makes you say that?

Oh, I don't know.

You are a funny, little thing!

Brrr! Freezing.

Come on, then.

Mmm!

Do you want to?

I'm not sure.

Well, you don't have to decide now. You wake me up if you do.

All right.

Mr Lindsay thinks we should be in a state of perpetual tumescence.

LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER

What are you doing?

Watching you sleep.

Looks like you both had another punishing night.

I wish you wouldn't creep into our room every morning!

We've just been for a swim. I just wanted to tell you how nice it was.

DOG GROWLS

SHE GASPS

Woof! Woof! Woof!

Ugh!

SINGING

CAR APPROACHES

Hello! Stop!

HORN BEEPS

HELLO!

What happened to you?

You're a terrible mess.

I went for a walk.

Stupidly got lost.

Come on.

Plenty of room.

Here, put this on.

I don't want to dress up.

You look as if you've been in an orgy. Who were you with?

No-one.

Don't be a spoilsport.

Please!

Oh...

All right, then.

CONVERSATION STOPS

You get fucked.

You too. You get fucked.

And you. You get fucked too.

You all get fucked.

Three beers and a creme de menthe.

LOUD BURP

Hello.

Hello!

Sorry, lounge is closed.

What about them?

Just closed, a few minutes ago. >

Well, the main bar's open.

The main bar's reserved for men.

Don't worry. Let's go!

We came here for a drink. >

Hey, Tom!

Lewis!

Get us some drinks, will you?

Tom!

They're pretending they don't know us.

That boil on your bum, you should get it looked at by doctor, Tom.

Might go sceptic. Your whole bum might fall off.

ALL LAUGH

What if we drink outside?

It's against the law.

It's against the law to be open on a Sunday.

Get fucked.

Your mother's a trade unionist.

She'd put people like you against a wall

and shoot 'em.

My family aren't wealthy.

What does your father do?

He's an antiques dealer.

Mine was a sailor.

He's dead.

Taken by a shark?

Blown to bits in a battle.

They only ever found his foot.

What's funny?

I'm sorry!

One, two...

three!

You haven't caught us yet!

All right, girls!

This will be piss easy!

Charge!

Pitiful!

Penny O'Hara!

Sean Connolly!

Seamus O'Hearn!

Patrick O'Shaugnessy!

ACCORDION PLAYS

I'm going to be honest with you.

I find your relentlessly lustful women preposterous.

That doesn't surprise me.

I do have some experience of the opposite sex.

My wife is as far from your debauched harridans...

as animal is from vegetable.

And which is she, Mr Campion?

Mmm? Sorry.

Animal or vegetable?

What are you doing, Giddy?

Dancing away all my impure thoughts. You should be doing it.

You need to more than me.

Oh, not you, Estella.

She needs to more than anyone.

Oh, the world's going round!

What are you picturing in your mind, Giddy?

Nothing.

You're getting slippery, aren't you?

What do you mean?

I know somewhere...

where she'd be really ticklish.

Don't.

(Oh, God!)

He leaps from rock to rock with the grace of a mountain goat.

CHUCKLING >

Are you all right?

Rose...

I'm fine, thank you.

Just a bit out of breath.

Were you running?

Walking.

Briskly.

It's time you visited Mr Devlin.

I don't chase men, it's undignified.

What's that in his hand?

It looks like Estella's hat!

Yes. I lost it when I went out for a walk. He must've picked it up.

So that's why you were blushing!

I was feeling ill!

SHOUTING

You ticklish?!

THEY SHRIEK

Excuse me...

..would you please untie me?

Please will you untie me?

My hands are going to sleep.

Thank you.

# But that's all right, cos I don't mind

# She is handsome

# She is pretty, she is the belle of Brisbane city

# Please won't you tell me who he be... #

That tunic suits you.

I thought we might go to evensong.

All right, I'll go and change.

# Out she comes as white as snow

# Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes... #

So must I.

SINGING CONTINUES

Where were you?

We went into the town.

You went to the pub. I can smell it on your breath.

Why are you wearing that ridiculous outfit?

It's part of what they're using in the latest paintings.

I realise that. So you'll be doing some modelling?

There's no need to be offensive!

Estella, what's wrong?

Nothing is wrong!

In its long history, one of the enduring strengths of the church,

has been its capacity to withstand persecution, insult, and ridicule.

Those who have to sought to mock Christians

have been legion.

Even Christ himself felt their lash - on the street...

in the market place, even at the end, on the cross.

"Where are you now, you King of the Jews?"...

they called out to him in his agony. In every age...

still more come forward to scorn his name, and to defame

his most sacred images. But true Christians...

secure in their faith, can identify...

such detractors for what they are.

The disciples of the devil, the destroyers of all that is precious

in family life. The harbingers of darkness and chaos.

# Faint not, nor fear, His arms are near

# He changeth not, and Thou art here

# Only believe and thou shalt see

# That Christ by his love is all to thee. #

Please be seated.

(What on earth is wrong with you?)

Nothing.

What strange, deluded, conceited creatures

we human beings are.

We think we have secrets, but how can we have secrets from God

who knows our innermost thoughts every moment of the day.

THUNDER RUMBLES

Giddy, what's wrong?

He's in the studio.

He's staying there tonight.

I'm going to seduce him.

You're drunk.

Did he say anything about me...

when he untied you?

No.

He's too shy, you see.

You should lie down for a while.

We're so out of touch with our passions.

I mean... I'm such a bourgeois little thing,

too scared to reveal myself to a painter!

Giddy...

I'm going to walk around without any clothes on. Clothes are just ost...

"ostentatious figments of middle class imagination."

That's Pru's nonsense.

It's just a bit cold tonight.

Well, I better go and get ready.

This is the first day of my new life

No, the first night of my new life.

THUNDER RUMBLES

DOG GROWLS

Next, you'll have to cross the Arafura Sea.

She'll be here in a few days.

KNOCK AT DOOR

What are you trying to do?

This is where Amy Johnson's got to. She was almost eaten by cannibals.

What are you doing to Giddy? She'll make a real fool of herself.

She's about to burst out of her skin

She doesn't know what she's doing.

Why the sudden concern?

Are you jealous?

Don't be ridiculous.

But you like him too.

I didn't even speak to him when he untied me.

You didn't need to.

You're really shocking!

SHE SNORES

Your characters seem so ravenous. Can't love ever be a gentle thing?

Of course, but I'm not painting love scenes.

Sorry, yes, lust scenes.

There is a fierceness in desire. It's one of life's great conundrums.

The only one according to your work.

I admit that the human universe is infinitely richer than my palette.

But, I do absolutely no justice at all to the nervous nellies...

the shrinking violets...

You're very contemptuous of them.

My dear Estella, I am a shrinking violet myself.

I live not in the real world, but in here.

I flee from the real world to my studio.

There before me is the canvas of my imagination.

But your paintings...

do go out into the real world. People's imaginations are stunted,

and you have no idea what your work may incite them to. Rape?

Mr Campion...

the female body is the most beautiful thing in the world.

If it turns you into a ravenous maniac...

then your wife should take the greatest care to undress...

behind a screen.

Estella's seen the pictures too. Are we in danger from her?

Everyone has a rich imagination. What stunts it is

capitalist exploitation. In Russia, there's an explosion of creativity!

Have you been, Pru?

Have you?

I thought for a moment you knew what you were talking about.

Communism has exploded every value, leaving a vacuum of moral anarchy!

Anarchy is freedom!

Balls!

Sorry.

Freedom for the strong to oppress the weak.

It's the same as before, just a different set of bullies!

Where's Giddy?

I thought you'd lost that hat.

Yes. One of the girls must have found it.

So, um...where was Giddy tonight?

You like her, don't you?

"Try one of these, they're Turkish."

No, I just, er...

worry about her with those other two.

She's drunk herself into a stupor,

planning to throw herself at... that odd job man.

He's quite a character, isn't he?

I hear he used to have quite a dangerous reputation.

This whole country's dangerous.

You know...

I've been mulling over what you said to me about...

me thinking too highly of you. I don't see either of as saints.

That's a relief.

I've done many things I'm ashamed of, stretching way back.

What sort of things?

Um...

When I was at school we had this ridiculous initiation ceremony

for the new boys, the "scum" as we called them.

What happened?

We used to stand them on a chair, take their trousers down...

whip them with wet towels. You know the sort of thing.

Do I?

Anyway, that's just something I wanted you to know.

In view of...

today's activities.

What are you talking about?

I think you know. I'd rather not put it into words.

RHYTHMIC SQUEAKING

SQUEAKING CONTINUES

(Sorry it's so noisy.)

(It's all right. They'll all be asleep.)

SHE GASPS

SHE GROANS

Oh...

You are the Winnie the Pooh sleeping in today.

What's the time?

Nearly three.

Message from Sheela.

She didn't wake you for a swim, she felt you needed your rest.

She seemed quite smug about it.

I might have one now, then.

To wake me up.

Right. Good idea.

How are you feeling?

Buggered.

I woke up stuck to the blanket. I'd spilt that horrible drink.

I looked like a huge emerald mint!

Oh!

Not that it mattered.

Why? What do you mean?

I went to the studio to see him, and he was doing it with somebody else!

Who was it?

Oh...

It was dark. I suppose it was Sheela or Pru.

They've got absolutely no morals at all!

I just feel so stupid.

I thought he liked me.

I'm not going to have anything to do with men.

I've made a big decision.

What decision?

You'll see. So will Norman.

Giddy!

Change your mind?

Yes.

Disappointing news.

The exhibition's going ahead with all the original paintings.

Still, we did our best.

I wish we could leave now.

The track's been repaired. We can get the first train tomorrow.

Thank goodness.

I'll tell Lindsay.

Sorry to interrupt. Just to let you know we're off first thing tomorrow.

Right.

Right.

You're very naughty today, so I'm not giving you this chocolate.

Honey, come quick.

THEY GIGGLE

This lamb is absolutely delicious.

Nearly as good as Welsh lamb and that's saying something!

Well, um...

Thank you very much for your hospitality.

Bottoms up. >

We've enjoyed ourselves.

I like a little opposition. It clears the mind. It's fortifying.

Yes.

I gather you're a boxer, Mr Devlin?

I used to do a bit of boxing myself. Quite a keen pugilist once.

Lost an enormous part of this tooth from a haymaker someone gave me.

I expect you've got some bad scabs to show from your travails too.

Apart, obviously, from the, er...

eye thing, which is beastly.

SNIGGERING

Unfortunately, during his last fight...

Mr Devlin had his tongue hanging out.

He got an enormous upper cut and lost most of it.

Balldust, Norman!

He makes a brilliant Ulysses anyhow.

But he never comes into the water.

Wouldn't matter who he was, you'd try to get him in.

You'd get in the whole army if you could!

I'd like to do some more research for the Atlantis series.

How about mounting an expedition to find it?

You might like to come.

Um-hmm!

Devlin could be the pilot.

Giddy could be the navigator.

I'm not going if they're going.

Why not ?

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could kick you!

Thanks!

What are you talking about? >

You know!

You always eat that cheese when you feel guilty.

Excuse me.

GIGGLING AND YELPING

Sorry, I better go and see if she's all right

What?

Nothing.

Piglet, are you all right?

Yes, I'm fine, thank you.

Feeling a bit funny?

Probably all that Stilton.

Really packing it down, weren't you?

Well, I'll go back.

Pooh...

I think we should talk.

Right you are.

What about?

Ever since we got here, I've...

Well, now you see...

some things are best left unsaid.

But then we'll always be strangers.

No, not really.

Only small parts of us.

The bad parts.

No, it's good to have a few secrets.

Do you?

Mmm.

That way, in fifty years' time we'll still be able to surprise each other.

Perhaps you're right.

I love you, Piglet.

What's the matter?

You must've dreamt you saw someone with Devlin.

You were so drunk. I looked in here,

and you were absolutely sozzled.

But it was so real.

Dreams always are!

I spoke to the other two and they swear it wasn't them.

Do you still like him?

I suppose so.

You should go in and see him, then.

Now?

That's what your dream was telling you.

Yeah.

Here.

Put this on.

But it's your wedding ring.

It's always brought me luck.

You can wear these.

And try some of this.

And we'll have to fix your hair.

Good luck.

THUNDER RUMBLES

THUNDER RUMBLES

I want to wake up now.

Oh!

Estella.

It was night.

You were shouting loudly. I heard you from the garden.

Let me tell you about last night. It was wonderful!

I didn't do everything with him.

He's not good enough for me, but we did some things which were just...

Gosh!

But you didn't ask her permission!

I wasn't aware I needed permission.

It infers that she modelled for you!

You cannot just put someone in one of your paintings!

She'll be outraged! I'm outraged!

Perhaps we ought to ask her.

I don't need to ask her!

Anthony?

What's the matter?

Mr Lindsay has put you in his latest painting.

Oh.

I've told him he has to paint over you, or we'll take legal action.

You better have a look.

Well?

It's a good likeness.

< Devlin.

Better get back to work.

Catch!

TRAIN WHISTLES

They're asleep.

For goodness sake!

Estella!

We'll be arrested.

We'll be excommunicated!

HE GIGGLES

HE GIGGLES

Subtitles by IMS

E-mail us at [email protected]