Face/Off

This film contains strong language and graphic violence.

HE GASPS

HE SOBS

ANGUISHED MOAN

HE SIGHS

Have you eaten anything?

What's this? We got ten minutes to go.

-Punch me out, man.

-You got it.

Any word from the LAPD Intelligence?

-If there is such a thing.

-Not yet, sir.

Of course not. We're a covert anti-terrorism team,

so secret that when we snap our fingers, nothing happens!

'Sheriff's department?'

Airport police?

No. Interpol says he's in Tripoli.

Well, you trust that billion-dollar satellite, OK?

I'll trust a ten dollar snitch at this point.

-'Sean, look.'

-'What?!'

-<

-Why don't you give them a break?

We'll take a break when the case breaks, OK?

MUSIC: "Hallelujah Chorus" by Handel

# Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

# Hallelujah!

# Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

# For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth

# Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

-#

-For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth

# Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

-#

-For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth

-#

-Hallelujah!

-#

-And he shall reign...

-#

I've never enjoyed The Messiah.

In fact, I think it's fucking boring.

But your voice makes even a hack like Handel...seem like a genius.

HE SINGS: Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

-#

-Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

-#

Ahhhh!!

-#

-Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

-#

-Hallelujah!

-#

Victor, when we put this to bed,

you can brand the Fourth Amendment on my butt.

Sir, excuse me. Your wife's on line one.

A jet was just chartered. Guess who paid the bill? Pollux Troy.

Put someone on the plane.

We got no sign of Castor.

Pollux doesn't fly without big brother!

You're 26 minutes late. The casing didn't fit, right?

I told you Dietrich would pawn off some cheap shit

North Korean plastic.

The casing fit like a condom.

You didn't deviate from the plan? Pollux?

I didn't want to twiddle my thumbs. I paid for the jet...to save time.

That's what the boys are for - to hide our famous faces.

If I didn't love you, I'd kill you, bro.

I hate it when you call me "bro".

You guys are paid to protect him from everybody, including himself.

Stay away from downtown on the 18th. It's gonna be a little...smoggy.

My passengers are here. I gotta go.

Let's go. Let's go. I'm bored. Let's go.

Here you go.

Ooh. Bravo.

Would you like anything else?

Oh. Peach.

Sit. Come here.

You know, I can...er... eat a peach for hours.

Um... Come here.

If I were to send you flowers, where would I, er...

HE CHUCKLES No. Wait. Let me rephrase.

If I were to let you suck my tongue...

..would you be grateful?

There's someone on the runway.

Get off of me!

Archer.

FBI!

This is a very big gun. Fly the fuckin' plane.

Come on. That's it.

Come on. Let's go!

Don't play chicken with the jet!

Come on!

He's got one of us. Goddammit!

All units. Pin him in!

Close it up!

One of yours, Sean?!

GUNSHOT

Shit!

Out! Come on! Go! Go!

Goddammit, Sean!

Take off now.

-Fly!

-I can't!

Fly, bitch!

All units ready. Follow Archer's lead.

What the fuck are you doing?

An engine's out. We gotta stop.

GUNSHOT

Pollux!

Cas?

Secure the hangar!

CLANG!

Berkley, down!

Down!

BUTTONS PING, ENGINE FIRES UP

Give up, Castor. Your time's up.

HE CHUCKLES Well, you'd better hit me, Sean.

You've only got one bullet left.

So do you.

Wow.

We've got something in common. We both know our guns.

What we don't have in common is I don't care if I live. And you do.

Sean...that hurts.

You're not having any fun, are you, Sean?

Why don't you come with us?

-Try terrorism. It's more fun!

-Shut the fuck up!

Watch your mouth! I'm gonna unleash a Biblical plague HELL-A deserves.

Or I'll give this shithole a break if my brother and I walk.

Bullshit!

Oh, you think I'm bluffing.

Maybe I am, but then maybe I'm not.

More importantly, what would you do with me locked up?

You'd drive your wife and kid crazy.

How is your daughter? Is she ripe? Darling Janie.

Your little peach. Is she ripe?

HE BARKS

GUN CLICKS

OK.

OK. Please, man.

Don't shoot me. HE WHIMPERS

I'm scared, Seanie!

WHIMPERS LAUGHINGLY

I think you'd better pull the trigger. Cos I don't give a fuck!

I'm ready!

# Ready for the big ride, baby! #

-<

-Well, Sean,

it looks like Elvis done left the building.

'It wasn't my fault!'

Why can't you be on my side?!

I am on your side. You have to give me a chance.

Now what?

She was suspended again. A kid joked about her clothes.

She started a fight.

Don't ask me what happened(!)

OK, what happened?

Oh, I see.

It's not like you'd believe me!

Jamie, look, it's not easy, OK?

I mean, look...

You change your looks every week...and the way you act.

Who are you supposed to be now?

I'm supposed to be me.

Not like you have a clue who I am anyway!

I have to work tonight.

I called to tell you but I was on hold for ten minutes

and I couldn't wait.

I got him, Eve.

It's over?

It's over.

Oh, Sean!

I'll make it up to you and Jamie, I promise.

I'll put in for a desk job, I'll do counselling,

talk about Mike - I'll do it. Anything you want.

I just want you.

Well, good. Cos that's what you're gonna get.

Are you happy?

Yeah.

What is all this?

Sir, the CIA sent this over.

I didn't know they catered. Send it back.

No, wait.

How about...er...

What about to Anderson, Montgomery,

Berkley...

..Pinkus, Janelli, Winters?

How's Loomis?

HE SIGHS

He's gonna need a little surgery, but...he'll be OK.

What's up?

Special Ops. They want a word.

Forget it. I don't have the time.

Better make time, Sean. Recovered from the jet wreckage.

Found in Pollux Troy's briefcase.

MUSIC PLAYS AND WOMAN MOANS

Porcelain casing.

Thermal cloak. Nerve gas

and biological payload.

Enough to flatten a square mile.

And depending on the winds,

the fallout will be a tad worse than Gulf War Syndrome.

"A Biblical... A Biblical plague that LA..."

Where is he?! Where's Pollux Troy?

Why draw the schematic if you're not gonna build the bomb?

-POLLUX:

-Is it a crime to exercise the mind?

I'm not saying another word until I see my brother.

Any progress?

I need about ten minutes alone with this guy.

Give it a rest. You got Castor.

We're not evacuating the city on a hunch.

I know Castor too well for this to be a hunch!

You know what? Just run the goddamned Bureau any way you like!

I could put an agent in his cell. Maybe Pollux will let it slip.

Come on. He's a paranoid sociopath.

He'd only talk to his brother. And he's dead.

There is one other possibility.

Oh, God! You're keeping him alive!

Relax, Archer. He's a turnip.

What if you could walk into Erehwon Prison

and give Pollux a nice, big brotherly hug as Castor Troy?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Let me try.

Malcolm Walsh. I run the Bio-Cover Unit.

I know who you are.

You don't know what I can do - physical alteration, augmentation.

Dr Walsh can alter the likeness, the voice of a witness.

I think you'll recognise this patient.

We have to build your friend Loomis a whole new ear from scratch.

What we're suggesting for you isn't a permanent transplant,

just a temporary trade.

Come here.

With the new anti-inflammatories, healing takes days.

Only your blood types won't match.

Height difference is negligible.

Skin pigment, eye pigment -

both almost identical.

We'll use laser shears for the hairline, micro-plugs for body hair.

Then an abdominoplasty - remove those love handles.

But all that's the easy part.

Here's the real science.

This is a morpho-genetic template.

The inside is modelled on your skull,

the outside exactly like Troy's.

Then we fit his face on top.

Not a replica...the real thing.

We connect the muscles, tear ducts and nerves.

You want to take his face and mine..

Borrow. The procedure's completely reversible.

You think that I WANT to do this? No. No!

-There's no-one else.

-No!

You have lived and breathed Castor.

I'll get his gang to talk.

What if you can't? The bomb will blow and Castor Troy will win.

Get out! Go ahead! And wipe your ass!

Damn! What the hell is that smell?

His shit. Where's Dietrich?

Hello, Sasha. When was the last time you saw Castor?

Who cares? He's dead.

Answer the question.

I know my rights. I don't have to answer shit.

You're a felon on probation for harbouring Castor. One phone call

and your son will end up in a foster home.

I understand why you would use

such a threat,

but you try to take him away from me, I swear to you...

I haven't seen him for years.

This reeks of you. It's got your signature all over it.

Maybe. But you ain't got nothing on me.

And you know it.

That may be so. But I can keep you within city limits or I can talk

to your sister again. She's right outside.

Only this time, I'll be nice.

Hey, Sean...

How's your dead son?

HE LAUGHS

I don't know...!

COCKS GUN

Something about the 18th!

But that's all I know!

Great. We've got a date. Where's the bomb?

Only Pollux Troy knows that.

It's your call.

Does Lazarro know your plan?

No, this is a black-bag operation,

strictly off the books.

You can't tell Lazarro or your wife.

Oh, God!

What are you asking me to do? OK, let's see.

You're asking me to...

break the law,

risk my neck...

and you're asking me to put in the dark all the people that love me

and trust me.

I'll do it.

Sean...

I'm sorry I woke you.

I'm glad it's you that woke me.

And not a phone call telling me you won't be coming home.

That's a fear I can now let go of.

It's all right, Sean.

It's OK.

I keep... I keep wanting to move this

over here, you know?

If it had only been an... an inch to the left...

Mikey would be alive.

And you wouldn't be.

Things are going to get better now that you're home.

The scar won't move but it will heal if you let it.

Everything will be better now he's out of our lives.

Hmm.

HE SIGHS

Eve, what if I told you

that I realise that this thing won't fully end...

..until I did one last thing?

Eve? Something vital.

Oh, God. You're going back on assignment again.

Just one last time.

Come on, Eve.

"I'm not going anywhere." That's what you told me.

HE GROANS

You don't need me to tell you what to do. You never have. So go.

But go now.

Sean, I'm changing my mind. It's a suicide mission.

Yeah, I know. I know.

You know, maybe this... If this doctor can...

If he can do even half of what he says he can do, maybe it will work.

I don't know.

I become Castor Troy. I'll be in control.

That's the part that scares me.

SEAN CHUCKLES

LIFT DOORS OPEN

Doctor, I, um... There's something...

I have this scar.

If you can...put this back after... after all this is over.

It's important. A reminder.

Sure.

Tito, please, hold this for me.

Please.

OK. Let's go.

Ugh!

Oh, my God...

-<

-Are you OK?

Come on. Talk to me.

HE SOBS

No!

Fuck you! Fuck you!

-Fuck you!

-Sean!

-Fuck you!

-Sean!

Sean! Sean...Archer!

You're Sean Archer!

Sean Archer.

Sean Archer.

When this is over...

..I want you to take this face...

and burn it.

I...I still sound like me.

There's a microchip on your larynx. But you must be careful.

Pressure, a blow, even a violent sneeze could dislodge it.

Just repeat what you hear.

CASTOR: Peach. I can eat a peach for hours.

Peach. I can eat a peach for hours.

There's a scratchy tickle.

-DISTORTED THROUGH COMPUTER:

-"Peach. I can eat a peach for hours."

-MORE LIKE CASTOR:

-"Peach. I can eat a peach for hours."

Once again.

-LIKE CASTOR:

-Peach. I can eat a peach for hours.

Perfect.

Now, Sean, six days until the 18th.

The clock's ticking and so is the bomb.

'You've got two days'

to get Pollux to talk.

Either way, Miller comes in

and pulls you out. You got me?

What's the matter?

The face itches.

You all right? Come on, let's go.

Archer will be pissed when he returns from his training op...

He's knee-deep in Georgia swamp.

CLANKING

You are now the property

of Erehwon Prison,

a citizen of nowhere.

The Geneva Convention is void here.

Amnesty International doesn't know we exist.

When I say your ass belongs to me, I mean exactly that.

This prison is a magnetic field.

The boots tell us where you are.

621 to population!

Hey, hey! What's the matter, pal?

Don't you remember little people?

Burke Hicks.

Yeah.

I busted...

Archer busted you for stalking the UN Secretary General.

Archer framed me. I had nothing to do with that.

Word was you got wasted.

Wanna see what "wasted" looks like?

PRISONERS: Oooh!

Pollux.

INTERCOM: 'Disturbance. Go to lockdown.'

Hold that lockdown.

Come on, you pussy!

Watch your fuckin' mouth.

You watch your FUCKIN' MOUTH!

Because I'm Castor Troy! Yeah!

I'm Castor Troy!

Whoo!

I'm Castor Troy!

Yeah! Oh, yeah!

Whoo!

Whoo!

HE CRIES OUT

Lock 'em down.

I stop the fights. Not you.

KICK!

That's two strikes for you, Dubov.

One more and you know where you're going.

When I get out of here...

IF you get out of here.

..I'm going to have you fired.

THEY ALL LAUGH

HEART MONITOR BEEPS REGULARLY

RAPID BEEPING

REGULAR BEEPING

SQUELCHING

CASTOR GASPS AND CHOKES

HE GROANS

HE CRIES OUT

CASTOR: Lars, it's me.

Believe it.

Someone...

HE CHOKES

They took... They switched my...

Some fucking...

HE CHOKES

But it's cool.

We're gonna deal with it.

HE CACKLES

SCREECHING

Oh, yes!

We're gonna deal with it!

MUSIC: "Ach, Ich Fuhl's" by Mozart

What's this about?

Dr Walsh!

I was just enjoying some of your greatest hits here.

Oh, I hope you don't mind.

I...er, I partook of your groovy...groovy pain-killers.

This is fabulous work. Oh!

HE LAUGHS Bravo!

Bra-fucking-vo.

Oh, God, this is excellent.

Bravo.

Bravo.

What do you want?

CASTOR CLAPS SLOWLY

Take one goddamn guess.

I wish they'd play the salmon spawning scenes again. So erotic.

Fuckin' nature channel!

One more waterfall and I'll foam at the mouth.

It's like they're begging us to riot.

Excuse me.

Not feeling coordinated lately, are you?

Look...bro.

You've got to help me.

I am so fried.

If the psychos in here find out I'm misfiring, we'll both be dead meat.

Shock treatment? What's the matter with you? Did they operate?

I was in a coma.

You're so fuckin' paranoid! Aren't they giving you your medication?

What was my medication?

Pollux, I hand-fed you those pills for years.

Vivex. I haven't forgotten that.

It's just everything else.

It's my senses, my...reflexes, my memory...

It...it...it's like a tab of bad Quantrex.

I don't even know why that fuckin' yeti jumped me yesterday.

Dubov? You had a sex sandwich with his wife and his sister

the night he was sent here.

I guess that explains why he's so upset.

Wow.

THEY LAUGH

We're gonna blow up LA, bro. Ain't it cool?

Oh, rub my nose in it, why don't you?

Ten-million-dollar design and those militia nuts get to keep their cash.

It's so fuckin' unfair.

That bomb you built does deserve an audience.

It's a work of art.

It belongs in the Louvre.

Yes, it does.

Oh, well... I guess the LA Convention Center will have to do.

What?

Thank you.

For what?

You're so fucking pathetic.

-GUARD:

-You've got a visitor.

->

MAGNETS LOCK

Ooh-whee, you're good-looking! You're hot!

It's like looking in a mirror, only not.

Troy?

Now that is between us, OK?

But you were in...in...

In a coma?

STAMMERS

Having your face cut off disturbs your sleep. Read the paper lately?

You killed them?

It beats paying the bill, huh?

If a facelift costs five grand...

See anything you like?!

Tito...

I torched all the evidence that proves you're you, OK?

So, you're gonna be in here for...

# A hundred years! #

HE GROANS

Now I... I have got to go.

I've got a government job to abuse and a lonely wife to fuck.

Oh, did I say that? Oh, sorry.

Make love to.

God, I miss that face.

Die!

DIE!

Sorry, Agent Archer.

No. Don't you worry about it, Mr Walton.

Clearly... he's had...

a traumatic childhood and... Thank you.

-RADIO:

-# What's giving you the will to live is looking for revenge... #

Look at this place.

I'm in hell.

I'll never get a hard-on again.

# ..Don't lose your head! #

Oh! Yes.

There we go.

Well, it was only a matter of time before you forgot where we lived.

Come on, give me a break. Every house in this block looks the same.

Then I spotted you.

Eve.

My one and only Eve.

How was your vital assignment?

Which one was that?

How should I know, Sean?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yes.

The out-of-body experience, yes.

That one.

Where are you going?

Hmm?

To the hospital.

No. No.

-What's the matter?

-Sean, come on.

-What?

-Quit teasing. I'm still really hurt.

There are leftovers in the fridge.

No, no. I want to stay hungry for you... my peach.

Sean, come on.

What are you doing? What are you doing?

Hey, I hate to see you go... but I love to watch you leave.

LAUGHS

READS: "Date Night. Fizzled again.

"We haven't made love in two months."

What a loser.

HE SIGHS

RADIO BLARES

MUSIC: "Papa's Got a Brand-new Bag" by James Brown

I got your e-mail, Karl. That poem was pretty kinky.

HE SIGHS >

The plot thickens.

Hang on a second.

I'll have to call you back.

You're not respecting my boundaries.

I'm coming in, Janie.

Janie?

I don't think you heard me, Jamie.

You've got something that I crave.

# ..Papa's got a brand-new bag... #

Clarissa left those here.

Well, I won't tell Mom if you don't.

When did you start smoking?

You'll be seeing a lot of changes around here.

Papa's got a brand-new bag.

IMITATES JAMES BROWN: Ow-ooh!

# ..But I can dig that new breed, babe

# You're doin' the twist, just like this... #

Bye, bro.

Drop me a line some time.

It's gonna be kind of lonely with Pollux gone, huh?

Pol... Pollux what?

That big shit cop... Archer.

Cut him a deal for giving evidence. He's been released.

I'm Sean Archer.

There's a bomb at the LA Convention Center. I'm Archer and...

Ow!

# Tiramisu! #

Sir, we wanted you to know...

We're really sorry about Tito.

Oh, hey. Shit happens, you know?

Is our witness talking?

Yeah. About what kind of mustard he likes on his tongue sandwiches.

-We're almost out of time.

-Hmm.

Archer!

You made the deal with Pollux Troy. It isn't like you.

Oh, well. When all else fails, fresh tactics.

Fresh? Let me tell you mine!

Everything goes through me, understood?

-Mmm.

-Good!

Thanks.

You're supposed to be snitching and making me look good.

Look good?

Mm-hm.

Seeing your face makes me afraid my tiramisu might come back up.

Well, think about me. This nose,

this hair, this ridiculous chin.

HE SIGHS: Brother, we're going straight.

My goodness. Did you exchange brains as well?

The first thing I need you to confess to

is the location of the bomb.

What about our 10 million?

What about when I become a hero for defusing the bomb?

What's that worth? Know that? Thank you. Next question.

BOTH CHUCKLE

You're not the only one in the family with the brains.

But I am the only one with the looks.

Touche.

SIRENS WAIL

Any ideas?

Yeah. Run.

Sir, it's protected by a tamper switch.

It'll take us hours to bypass.

Evacuate your team, Captain.

Sir, we can't disarm.

Leave!

# Hallelujah!

# Hallelujah, hallelujah!

# Hallelujah... #

Ha...ha...ha...ha.

COMPUTER: 'Oh, baby!

That was the LA Convention Center, where an FBI agent became a saviour.

'Sean Archer disarmed a massive bomb

'just one second before it was set to blow.

'The apparent targets were three Supreme Court justices

'and anyone unlucky enough to be within a mile of the scene.

'We asked the agent if the FBI had any leads

'on who planted the device.'

That is classified but if he's listening,

I wouldn't mind giving him a message.

Interception - now we got the ball. Sorry.

PRISONERS MUTTER

APPLAUSE

Wanda, everybody, hey,

look, I...

I want to thank you for, er...enduring

all these years that I was an insufferable bore.

Sir, did you just have a surgical procedure?

What do you mean?

Was the stick removed from your ass?

-Sir.

->

The White House on one.

It's the President. And your wife on line two.

Tell the President to hold.

SHE GASPS

Ahh...

MUSIC "Raindrop Prelude" by Chopin

Oh! My God! You scared the hell out of me.

It's date night. Mmm.

SHE SIGHS

Congratulations.

Oh, big deal.

OK, I said, "Mr President, I want the authority and I want the funds

"and personnel to take over the gamut of global terrorism."

And he said, "The next name on my calling list is Lazarro."

And I'm telling him that Sean Archer writes his own ticket, OK?

SHE SIGHS

What's the matter?

I... I don't know, Sean. You just...you just seem so different.

Hm.

I mean, what is all this about?

This intimate candlelight dinner? Huh?

I'm supposed to forget all the promises

cos you're going back into the fray?

SHE SIGHS

If the top cop in the country can't come home every night to his wife,

then to hell with the country.

Because the only place I'm going...is upstairs with you.

Exercise. One hour.

How can I get out of here?

You can't.

How can I get these boots off?

They only take them off in the clinic, before they fry your skull.

Hey!

I'm out of cigarettes.

Get back in line, Troy.

I said, I'm out of cigarettes.

Kick his ass!

What the hell? That's not right!

I need a light! I need a light!

All right. All right!

Anybody got a light?!

Got a light?!

Bring the bastard down before he chokes himself to death.

Well, happy day,

it's Castor Troy.

Hold it. Can I have a light?

You know those things will kill you? HE CHUCKLES

Get his boots, Walton.

Dubov...I didn't touch your wife.

And I didn't touch your sister.

Your wife loves you. She's waiting for you. So let's get out of here.

Out...

You're more brain dead than him.

Ow!

Out.

Out.

Get in there! Move this door!

We have men down in C-4.

I got 'em.

Arggh!

Move!

ALARM BEEPS

Get them!

PRISONERS YELL

GUNFIRE

Dubov! NO!

Get out.

Arggh!

COMPUTER BEEPS

COMPUTER BEEPS

Dubov!

Now...give me your hand.

Come on. You can do it.

-No!

-Arggh!

No!

NO!!

Sean!

Wait!

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Have a nice day.

Have a nice day?

Is this your way of not dealing with today?

Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

Sean!

Sean!

I know it's hard for you.

It's hard for me, too. And you still have to go.

Happy birthday, Mikey.

He took our baby, Sean. He took our little boy.

SHE SOBS

You turned your beeper off.

Well, my son's birthday.

Well, here's some poetic justice. Castor Troy is dead.

He got killed trying to escape from Erehwon.

Where's his body? I want to see his body.

It hasn't been recovered yet.

IT HASN'T BEEN RECOVERED YET?!

Get the LAPD on this!

Even if he's alive, Castor isn't stupid enough to come back here.

HE SIGHS

You must... You must trust me. He's already here.

CAR LOCK BEEPS

PRESSES KEYPAD

'County General. How may I direct your call?'

Dr Archer. It's an emergency.

'Who's calling?'

Her husband.

Dr Archer, call on line three.

-VOICE VIBRATES:

-I know this sounds crazy... Shit!

Sean?

Eve, listen carefully.

'The man you think is Sean isn't.'

Who is this?

Just listen! Go to your mother's. Don't say where you're going.

Whoever you are, don't call again.

'Operations.'

I need Victor Lazarro.

'Regarding?'

Castor Troy.

'I'll transfer you.'

Sean Archer here. Who's calling?

Well, if you're Sean Archer, I guess I'm Castor Troy.

Ah, yes.

-RADIO:

-'He is considered dangerous.

'Any information on the whereabouts of Castor...'

RADIO OFF

SIREN BURST

You're goddamn right! Yeah!

This shit's so good, it's gonna make your dick harder. ..Cheryl?

Dietrich.

So you're still selling drugs to Cheryl and Phil Roy?

-HE LAUGHS:

-Castor fucking Troy!

Oh, man! You scared me, man!

All right. All right!

I never should have sold you those bombs.

It's my curse - I can't say no to a friend.

-Or to money.

-My other curse.

-Drug dealer!

-What's the matter?

You look like you fucked your mother. Come on.

Hey!

Castor.

I can't believe this! Castor Troy!

What are you doing?

Hey, baby! Remember me? I'm your favourite peach.

Oh, I thought I was your favourite.

Look at this guy. You know, you look pretty good for a dead guy.

Hey!

Let's go. Yeah.

So what do you want to do?

Want to leave the country?

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm going to get Sean Archer.

With your help.

OK.

Welcome home, baby.

Oh-ho!

How are we supposed to do that?

He's vulnerable at home.

No. This is Sean Archer we're talking about, not some boy scout.

-Fitch...

-It'll be alarmed up to the whazoo.

The code is ten-19-86.

That's his dead son's birthday.

Don't it just break your heart?

That's brilliant.

That's sick.

WOMEN LAUGH MOCKINGLY

How is it that you know so much about Sean Archer?

Er... I...er...

sleep with his wife.

ALL LAUGH

What?

Jesus Christ! She's great!

So once we kidnap super cop, then what?

A tiny...surgery.

I'd like to take his...his face...

off.

Yes.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to use the little boy's wee-wee room.

Cas.

You want to take his...

face...

Yes. His face...

off!

Eyes.

Nose.

Skin.

It's coming off.

Face...

..off.

No more drugs for that man.

I'm not me.

I'm me.

Not me.

Me...

Castor or Sean?

Castor or Sean?

I thought you were dead.

I'm not dead. I'm me.

What I'm trying to tell you, Pollux,

is once we get the full protection and resources of the government,

to help us get rid of our rivals, then we'll be set.

Then just maybe I'll get my frigging face back.

Then I'll just have one jag-off to take care of.

Hey, where are you going?

Karl, stop it.

-Maybe two. Hang on.

-Karl, stop it!

->

-Calm down!

-Karl!

My dad's home!

Happy hunting. Catch you later.

Like Mr Invisible gives a shit about you! Hold still!

-Say sorry.

-Sorry.

-I didn't hear it.

-I'm sorry!

-Mean it.

-I'm so sorry!

Dress up like Halloween and ghouls will try to get in your pants.

Typical Dad. Some guy tries to rape me and I'm to blame.

This isn't you.

HE SIGHS: No, you haven't been the same since Mike died.

Hiding behind someone else's face. Hoping you wouldn't feel the pain.

While we're talking... do you have protection?

What? You mean like condoms?

Protection.

Next time, let Karl take his pants down.

Slip this in his thigh, twist it, so the wound won't close.

Now, go on. Get out of here.

I am the king!

HE SIGHS

SHE SIGHS

Eve.

Jesus! Cas! It's me.

It's me.

Cas. Shh.

Come on.

It's me.

Jesus!

Come on.

Wh-Wha... Don't you want to talk?

The only talk I ever heard from you is, "Suck my tongue."

Take this filthy shit off and get out of here.

I'm not going anywhere.

Oh, really?

Do you expect me, after all this time, just to jump on you?

-That's not...

-Is that what you expect?

-That's not what I meant.

-What did you mean?

This what you meant?

That? That? How about this?

Is that good? Huh?

PHONE RINGS

Sean Archer.

Bro, I figured he might drop in on our friends.

And I think this fellow's beginning to enjoy being you.

Good.

HE SIGHS

Look, look, look!

Look, look...Sasha.

What I meant is,

that I'm not going anywhere until your brother helps me first.

Oh...Cas.

If the FBI finds out that you're here, I'll lose my son.

Please, Cas, you just gotta go.

I've said and done things that made your life harder. I know.

How? When you left, you never looked back.

I...I just know.

Sasha, I'm not the same person you remember.

And for what it's worth, I'm sorry.

Nice-looking clothes.

Of course. They're yours.

I know, I...

It...

That's a nice-looking kid, too.

Yeah.

Of course.

He's yours, too.

How old is he?

Five.

Nobody knows he's yours. I worried someone would hurt him to hurt you.

Adam! Adam!

I don't want you playing with those things. They're very dangerous.

Now, come on, sweetie. I want you to meet your father.

Look at him, it's OK. Say hi.

Hi. >

Hi.

Michael.

Michael! Michael!

Cas...

Cas...

Michael.

You're scaring him! Let him go.

What is the matter with you?

Get down!

OK, red team, break off!

How did you get to be brave?

How did you get to be brave?

-<

-Come out now with your hands up!

-Put these on.

-Listen to your music.

Come on.

# Somewhere over the rainbow... #

Go, go, go!

Cops.

I hate cops!

Come on, kid.

Move! Move!

Go! Go! To the right!

Go! Go!

Go!

# Someday I'll wish upon a star... #

Get out of here!

Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

My place is getting fucked up!

Take him.

Cas!

Cas! Give me the boy!

I'm really, really cross!

Come on! Come on! Let's go. Go!

Cas, be careful with him!

Don't be scared, all right?

# Somewhere over the rainbow

# Skies are blue

# And the dreams that you dare to dream

# Really do come true

# Someday I'll wish upon a star

# And wake up where the clouds

# Are far behind me!

# Birds fly over the rainbow

# Why, then, why can't I? #

Adam!

Get him out back. Go! Go! Go!

Put the boy down.

Honey, don't touch that.

It isn't nice!

I never want to see you do that.

Ha ha! They're like cockroaches!

Hey, drop it.

-HE DROPS GUN

-That's it.

Buzz.

-DIETRICH:

-Hey!

I told him not to fuck with me.

HE COCKS GUN

HE COCKS GUN

Take the boy and get out of here.

Are you all right?

GO!

Hurry up.

Hey, man.

We had some good times, didn't we?

SIGHING

I don't know what I hate wearing worse -

your face or your body.

I mean, I enjoy boning your wife but, um, well, let's face it,

we both like it better the other way, yes?

So why don't we trade back?

You can't give back what you've taken from me.

Oh, well.

Plan B.

Let's just kill each other.

Arrggh!

HE MOANS

Sir, why are you so upset? It's just Pollux Troy.

Sir, look. You're on the cover of Time.

"In one week, Agent Sean Archer has ordered blitzkrieg-style raids

"on the hideouts, staging grounds and safe houses

"of our nation's assassins..."

Sean.

We're friends, so I'll tell you face to face.

Man of the Year or not, I'm terminating your war on terrorists.

HE GROANS

Is that...because I'm getting all the kudos and you're not?

I don't know where you're getting your intelligence. Not field agents.

I think you know too much. Washington's starting to worry.

Justice wants a hearing.

They worry about how constitutional your Gestapo tactics are. So do I!

OK, Victor, I'll give the...

taxpayers a break,

but...um...

I have something

to confess. I don't think you're going to like it.

I am Castor Troy.

HE SIGHS

Kimmy. Kim.

'Yes, sir?'

Call the paramedics. Victor's had a heart attack.

'God. Right away.'

Thank you.

HE SIGHS

HE EXHALES DEEPLY

< SHOWER RUNNING

Home.

Eve.

Eve!

No, honey. Please... Please don't scream.

Don't scream. I'm not going to hurt you.

Shh, shh.

Don't... Don't look at my face.

And the voice. Don't listen. Just...

You killed my son!

Shh! I did not kill our son.

Shh.

I'm Sean.

SHE GASPS

The last time I saw you...

was in this room.

We had a fight when I said I had to go away again.

I spent the night in Mike's old bed.

I'm tired, Eve.

The assignment was to enter a federal prison as Castor Troy.

It's fucking insane!

And a special op surgeon...

..gave me...Castor's...

FACE!

Then... And then somehow Castor came out of his...

his coma.

And killed everybody who knew about the mission.

But... But not before transforming into me.

SHE YELLS

I know you don't believe a word I'm saying.

Well, here's proof, Doctor.

Your husband, me, my, Sean's blood type is O negative. Castor's is AB.

And I love you.

Get some backup.

What a day.

You look tense.

I know I've been acting different lately...strange.

I've got a confession to make, Eve.

You're not going to like it.

Oh, Eve, I feel... I feel so close to you.

I read your diary. I know I shouldn't have. I'm ashamed.

But I did.

I just want to be the man that you deserve...passionate and tender.

Victor Lazarro died today. He had a heart seizure.

My mentor...gone.

HE SIGHS: First Tito, then Victor. So what?

I hope this doesn't mean I'm losing you.

Of course not.

You're the only family I've got.

Oh, God!

I was hoping you'd come here.

Thank you for trusting me.

Right now...I don't trust anyone.

Eve, where did you get that gun?

I took it from my fake husband.

Put it down.

You know I'm Sean.

Do I? Maybe Sean's already dead, huh?

I'm moving very slowly.

HE SOBS

I was thinking the other day.

I remember...I once took a date out for surf and turf,

not knowing she was a vegetarian.

So, she ate bread...

..and...er...broke her tooth on a rye seed.

We drove around all night...

looking for a... for an all-night dentist.

And he...he was so drunk, he fixed the wrong tooth.

HE LAUGHS EMOTIONALLY

And when I finally brought her home...

..even though it must've hurt like hell...

..you...you...you kissed me.

SHE MOANS

Sean...

That man...

We've been living together as man and wife for a week.

I know. Eve...

Eve...

I put you in that position

and...and I... I can never make it up to you.

Well, you're damn well gonna try.

Let me take a look at that wound before you bleed to death.

With Lazarro out of the way,

Castor's the new Acting Director. He's untouchable.

Not tomorrow.

Tomorrow he'll be at Victor's service.

Tomorrow...

That will be the day.

You and Jamie mustn't go. Give him an excuse.

I can cover for Jamie but if I don't go, he'll know something's up.

Besides, I'm the only one who can try and explain the truth.

Mr Archer, may I help you?

Sean, what are you doing here?

I'm so...

..sorry, darling.

I just get so...so jealous, I...

What is a guy to think

when his... his wife runs off in the night?

That I'm on call. Please let me get back to work.

Sorry.

Lies, distrust, mixed messages...

This is turning into a real marriage.

How's...Adam?

I took him to my cousin's until this blows over.

Where's Jamie?

I don't know. She stole 50 from my purse and took off.

So what's the next move?

This isn't your fight.

You're surprised? She won't even visit Michael's grave -

you think she gives a damn about your boss?

He killed my brother. I'm not going to let him take you, too.

Whatever happens,

I promise...

Sean Archer is off your back for good.

-PRIEST:

-My dear friends,

we are here to celebrate the life of Victor Lazarro.

In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti,

Amen.

SERVICE CONTINUES

MALE CHOIR SINGS IN LATIN

CHOIR CONTINUES SINGING

Somebody gave this to me to give to you.

CHOIR CONTINUES TO SING

In peace now, let us take our brother Victor to his place of rest.

Om!

Domino... PRETENDS TO SPEAK LATIN

Isn't this religious?

Oh!

Ah, yes.

The eternal battle between good and evil, saint and sinner.

But you're still not having FUN!

HE CHUCKLES: Ooh.

Honey.

Honey.

CHUCKLING

Come here.

Ah...

And guess what?

Your daughter's on the way.

History repeats itself.

This is between us. Leave them out of it.

No. YOU should've left them out of it.

Your son was an accident. I wanted to kill you.

But you took it so personally.

Why didn't you just kill yourself or let it go?

No father could.

No brother could either.

Neither could his sister.

Hey, baby.

Sasha, what the fuck are you doing here?

Gee, Archer, I'm crashing.

Are you OK, baby?

Yeah. Thanks.

Sasha, baby...I'm Castor. That's Archer.

And I'm bored.

HE SIGHS

Put the fucking gun down.

-MAN:

-Put your guns down.

Whee! What a predicament!

CASTOR LAUGHS

Take care of our boy.

I love him so much.

Don't let him grow up to be like us, promise?

Yeah.

Say yeah.

Mom?

SHE SCREAMS

SHE WHIMPERS

Jamie!

SHE SCREAMS

Jamie, don't!

Hello? Wanda? This is Eve Archer.

I have something crazy to say.

It's a capital crime to try to kill the next FBI boss, yes?

-Yes!

-Ah, yes!

-The penalty...

-HIS VOICE DISTORTS

-SEAN'S VOICE:

-..is death!

Die! Please, God! Die!

Hold it!

Good girl, Jane! Shoot him!

Don't listen to him. He's not your father. Hear my voice.

I'm your father!

Use your eyes! Shoot him!

Don't listen to him! Don't shoot!

He shot your brother! Kill him!

Arggh!

You clod!

No daughter of mine would shoot so wide!

Dad, put the gun down!

Put it down.

Dad, put it down. Now we're going to find out what's in Papa's bag...

peaches!

Say goodbye to Papa!

Arrrggghhhh!

Jamie!

SIREN WAILS

Jamie! Jamie, are you all right? Oh, my God!

Sir, are you OK?

SIRENS APPROACHING

-SHE SOBS

-Someone please tell me what planet I'm on!

Get down!

HOOTER BLARES

Stop! This is the police!

Stop immediately or we will open fire!

Fire! Fire!

Arrghh!

Arrghh!

Arrghh!

You're right, Sean. I've misbehaved. I need to be punished.

But remember, every time

you look in the mirror,

you'll see my face.

CLICK!

DIE!!

CASTOR'S VOICE: # Ready

# Ready for the big ride

# Baby... #

SIRENS WAIL

Are you OK, Archer?

What did you call me?

He called you Archer, sir.

Sean...

They're bringing in their top surgical team from DC. You'll be OK.

SIREN WAILS

When you wake up, everything will be restored, just the way it was.

My scar.

The one near my heart.

This old bullet wound.

I won't need it any more.

OK.

Dad?

Dad...

I'm sorry I shot you.

I've got something I have to ask both of you.

This is, um...Adam.

And he needs a place to live.

Hi.

My name's Jamie.

I'm Adam.

Why don't you show Adam his room?

Come on.

OK.

# You shot your mouth off like a kid scared to have a heart

# You're losing grip of what really matters

# Because you don't know where to start

# You wake up in the morning with a starfuck for a friend

# The things you do are so in tune with what you gonna hate

# What's giving you the will to live is looking for revenge... #

Subtitles by Julie Sutherland, IMS

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