Suspicion

Johnnie - YELLOW Lina - BLUE

Beaky - GREEN

RUMBLE OF TRAIN

WHISTLE BLOWING

DOOR SLIDING

I beg your pardon, was that your leg? I had no idea we were entering a tunnel.

I'm so sorry, I hope I didn't hurt you.

A man in the next compartment is smoking a vile cigar.

You don't smoke, do you? No, I don't.

Thank goodness. After last night my head couldn't stand it.

Your tickets, please.

Thank you, miss.

I'm afraid you're in the wrong compartment, sir.

It's a first-class compartment.

This is a third-class ticket. What sort of line sells third-class tickets at that price?

I am very sorry, sir. That will be 5/4 extra, sir.

Have you change for a fiver? Yes, sir. Don't bother, I don't have one.

Do you suppose the line will settle for 5/2??

No, I don't suppose it would.

I hate to presume on our short acquaintance but have you change? I'm afraid...

There you are, that'll do. That stamp.

Thank you very much.

There, 5/2? and three half-pence.

That's 5/4. It's legal tender.

Legal tender.

Write to your mother.

Mr Aysgarth, may I?

Would you step forward, Mrs Fitzpatrick?

Mr Aysgarth, please.

Could I have more of your smile?

Not at this hour of the morning!

Good morning, Johnnie! We were looking for you everywhere.

Excuse me, would you mind? I'm SO sorry.

See you later, Johnnie. Come Alice, Jessie.

They're very bright this morning.

That's good. Very good. Could I have a little smile? You remember?

It can't be the same girl!

Do you know her? Yes, but lay off, Johnnie. You have enough on your hands.

She's not up your alley. I'm bored with people in my alley. Introduce me, please.

No, she's a carefully brought up lady. I'll have to do it myself.

CHURCH BELLS RINGING

Lina, may we come in? I'm sorry, I didn't see you.

May I introduce Mr Aysgarth?

How do you do? How do you do?

We were passing, and Johnnie insisted on meeting you.

Why?

I'm told the sight of an eligible male is a rare treat down here!

Johnnie's terrible!

Hadn't you better hurry?

Hurry for what? For church!

Did you come to take me to church? Well... If you want to come.

We'd love to have you. How kind. I think I WILL come.

Good. Put on that saucy hat you wore on the train.

I will. Excuse me. I'll be down in a moment.

We better sit down, girls.

Where are you rushing to? To church, Mother.

Shall I go with you? No, thank you. I'm going with the Barnhams. But you don't like them! I know.

Shall I go with you? No, thank you. I'm going with the Barnhams. But you don't like them! I know.

Really! Most extraordinary.

You're not really going to church? Certainly I am! We're going for a walk. Don't be ridiculous!

I'll toss you for it.

Mother...!

What did you think I was trying to do? Kill you?

Nothing less than murder could justify such violent self-defence. Let me go.

You thought I was going to kiss you. Weren't you? No. I was trying to fix your hair.

What's wrong with my hair? I'm glad you asked me that.

Are you serious? Of course.

Frankly, I can't understand men like you. You always give me the feeling you're laughing at me.

No, I give you my word.

But your hair's all wrong. It has such wonderful possibilities.

I became a hairdresser just now. What's wrong with it? Let me show you.

Let me see.

Don't do that! Why not?

Because your ucipital mapilary is quite beautiful. What's that?

That.

You don't need to touch it.

You look good.

It must be a novelty by contrast with the women you're photographed with.

How do I compare to your horse?

If I ever got the bit between your teeth I'd have no trouble handling you.

Supposing I turned round, neighed and kissed you?

You've done enough fooling with my hair.

You don't look good like that. Does your family call you monkeyface?

I still think my way was best.

I must go or I'll be late. If my father saw me come in late AND beautiful,

he'd have a stroke.

Please don't bother to come any further. I'll be back at 3 pm. I can't come out this afternoon.

Yes, you can. No, I have to make calls for my mother. Liar.

Don't forget, three o'clock.

MAN'S VOICE: Lina will never marry, she's not the marrying sort.

WOMAN'S VOICE: She IS rather spinsterish.

What's wrong with that? All women are not alike. Lina has intellect and a fine, solid character.

Sorry I'm late.

Could I have some well-done, please? Yes, miss.

What kept you so long at church, dear? I didn't go. I went for a walk.

With a man.

A man? Yes, his name's John Aysgarth.

- John Aysgarth? - Tom Aysgarth's boy?

Pity he's turned out so wild. Rough luck on Tom.

What's this? Horseradish? It's not out of a bottle, is it?

Of course not, dear.

Good. Things out of a bottle never taste the same.

Why did you say Johnnie Aysgarth is wild?

He was turned out of a club for cheating at cards, wasn't he?

I don't know. I didn't ask him.

What's he doing down here?

Staying with Lord Middleham, who wouldn't have invited him if he was a cheat. Maybe it was a woman.

He was a co-respondent, or something, I believe.

I can't remember everything!

I am seeing him again, this afternoon.

You're wanted on the telephone, miss.

Hello, Johnnie.

You can't?

Oh, of course, I understand.

Thank you for calling.

I'd love to, next time you come down again.

Hello? Is Mr John Aysgarth there, please?

Oh, he isn't? Well, I thought perhaps...

Are you expecting him for the Hunt Ball? This is...

It doesn't matter. I'll ring again.

Nothing, Miss McLaidlaw. Are you sure? Positive.

Couldn't it accidentally have been put in someone else's letterbox?

I'm sure it would have been returned if that had happened. Thank you.

Regent OO21, please.

No reply? Thank you.

KNOCK ON DOOR Lina!

Lina!

Hello, Mother.

It's 7 pm. Aren't you going to wear your new dress?

No, Mother, I'm not in the mood.

What's the matter?

Tonight my head's splitting. Mother, I'm not going to the Ball.

Not going? What'll your father say? Perhaps some aspirin?

You haven't a temperature, have you?

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.

Where is your aspirin? In my bureau.

A telegram, miss.

Here is the aspirin, dear.

What for? Your headache. That's gone. I'll be down soon.

Really, Lina, I don't understand!

I say, Lina, I say!

Yes, Reggie? What about our dance?

Why, of course. Poor Reggie!

Good!

Is that Lina dancing with Wetherby? Yes.

I didn't recognise her. I hardly know her myself.

General, there is someone to see you.

There's a gentleman at the door who says he's with your party. The name is Aysgarth.

Aysgarth? Must be a mistake.

General McLaidlaw? I'm John Aysgarth.

I don't recall inviting you in my party.

I thought you had, or I would never have come from London.

Well, I... I don't know what to say.

I suggest you say something, General.

Hello, Johnnie. Hello, Lina. Hello, Johnnie.

I'm sorry I'm late. I believe it's our dance.

Hello, Monkeyface. Hello.

Hello, Monkeyface. Hello, Johnnie.

But we can't do this!

Where are we going? Which is your car? ..Over there.

Roll up the window before you catch cold.

Have you ever been kissed in a car before? Johnnie. Johnnie what?

I'm no good at joking. I don't know how to flirt. I'm serious!

Have you ever been kissed in a car? Never.

Would you like to be?

Yes.

You're the first woman I've met who said 'yes' when she meant 'yes'.

What do the others say? Anything but 'yes'!

But they kiss you? Usually.

Have there... Have there what, Monkeyface?

Have there been many? I'm afraid so, quite a few.

One night, I started to count them, you know like sheep when you can't sleep. I passed out on number 73.

Are you always as frank with them? No, no, not particularly.

Am I different? No, no, it isn't that.

It's because, with you, I think it's the best way to get results.

I hope I'm not saying the wrong thing...

but I love you.

You haven't said the wrong thing. STARTS CAR

Where are we going? I don't know. Anywhere.

I think I'm falling in love with you, and I don't like it. That's why I stayed away a week.

I didn't think it would happen like this. No, I saw an entirely different sort of person. So did I.

We'd meet at a garden party, and he'd call on me in the evenings.

We're coming to my house. Would you like to stop for a drink?

No, I'm going to get you back to that Ball as fast as possible.

Get out.

Why have you stopped?

I'm sure I don't know.

Well, come on.

I saw you coming up the drive, miss. We stopped for a drink, Burton.

Shall we go in the study?

You sit down and I'll mix you a drink. I think you need one.

You must be made of iron.

Why? How can you be so calm? I'M shaking.

The least you could do is swoon away. I'm surprised, too.

I think it's because, for the first time in my life I know what I want.

Are you courting me?

I'm afraid I am.

This is a wonderful moment.

Here we are in my home, the house that I was born in.

Alone together, in my favourite room. Do you like this room?

Very much.

Well, well, what are YOU doing here?

Oh, I say, old boy, isn't that going a bit too far?

He doesn't like me. I know.

He doesn't trust me from here to there, do you?

You're right! Stop it before it's too late.

Tell her everything you're thinking - that I'm no good to her. Warn her, speak up!

Do you hear him? Very distinctly.

He's not exaggerating a thing, dear. It's all true, every word he isn't saying.

I love him, Father. Did you see him jump? I did.

Well, watch this one.

Sir, I have the honour of asking for your daughter's hand in marriage.

What do you say to that?

My, oh my.

You heard him that time, didn't you?

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Poor Monkeyface.

WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING Do you hear the music?

Very clearly.

Let's dance. Let's dance before I... before we...

Let's dance.

I was just going down to the post.

Could you stop at Marshall's,

and get me some of this green wool? Where did I put it?

Here it is.

Be sure it's the same green.

Yes, Mother.

Is there anything I can do for you, Father? No, dear.

Don't be late for tea, dear.

Oh, that one goes up on the landing.

How do you like it, Mrs Aysgarth? If you don't like it, blame Mr Bailey.

He decorated the place. But, if you do like it... I ADORE it! It's wonderful!

Good, because I engaged Mr Bailey. That's true, I must say, Mr Aysgarth.

Mr Aysgarth, I shall have to be getting along.

What shall we do about the bill? Drop it on that table, old boy.

Yes. Thank you, Mr Aysgarth.

May I wish you both the very best of everything.

Thank you. Goodbye, Mr Bailey.

I never dreamt I'd have such a gorgeous place. Are you sure you can afford it?

Oh, I've forgotten your name. Ethel, sir.

What about tea, Ethel? Very good, sir.

What do you think of Ethel? She seems perfect.

WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING

Where are we? The Hunt Ball.

Where else? Venice.

And? Naples, Capri, Monte Carlo, and Nice. And? Paris.

Paris. Ahem!

A telegram for you, sir. Thank you...Ethel.

It isn't bad news, is it, dear?

Oh, no, it's from an old friend. He wants ?1,000. Could you spare that? What does he want it for?

Probably because I borrowed it from him. Why?

Because I wanted you to be happy on honeymoon. Were you happy?

Didn't you have money of your own?

Not a shilling.

But, I thought... I had the impression...

Don't worry your darling head about it. I'll take care of old Henry.

Johnnie, I still don't understand. Are you broke?

Monkeyface...I've been broke all my life.

Why didn't you tell me? Every time I mentioned... What about this extravagant house?

A girl like you will come into money some day.

I can't quite get this into my head.

Were you thinking of my inheritance when you...? I don't know what to say. Now, darling, really.

It's silly to wait. Why not be comfortable now?

Johnnie...I'm just beginning to understand you.

You're a baby.

I know you didn't marry me for my money. But my income will never pay for all this.

What about your father?

I couldn't possibly ask my father, OR my mother. She was so restrained when she met us at the station.

Anyway, you wouldn't want to live on your wife's allowance? No.

Well, then.

Answer me, Johnnie.

I suppose if the worst comes to the worst...I suppose I'll have to... What?

Well, borrow some more. I haven't touched Middleham yet.

I think you must be mad.

Monkeyface, marrying you was the sanest thing I ever did!

Come on, give it to me.

It's much too heavy for a little girl like you. Clear off the table.

Here, take that.

Is there any cake, Ethel?

Yes, sir. Well, go along and get it.

Thank you.

Johnnie. Uh-huh?

There's to be no more borrowing. You've got to go to work. Work?

Yes. Put on old clothes and go out with a shovel?

Don't be flippant. What DO you mean?

You're a dreamer, darling. Let's be practical about this.

Do you realise that in order to be a plumber or carpenter...? Darling, you haven't been around.

They have to be apprentices, then... There are all sorts of jobs.

Let's have some tea and talk it over. We can make out a list of jobs. Might be fun!

I'll get a pencil and paper.

PHONE RINGS It's there behind you.

Hello?

Hello, Mother.

It's wonderful. A most beautiful house!

Would you tell Father how badly I felt? ..Oh, he is?

Wait a minute till I tell Johnnie.

Father is sending us a wedding present. I can't tell you how much this means to me. Me, too.

..Yes. Father! Yes.

Ask when he's sending it. It's coming by messenger.

Invite them for dinner. Tell him we're job-hunting. Doesn't hurt to impress him.

Johnnie, you ARE the limit! How can you be so gay about something you should be ashamed of?

What, Father?

Johnnie and I were just having a sober and comprehensive talk about that very subject,

and he has ideas on the kind of job he'd like. DOOR OPENS

Messenger from General McLaidlaw.

Bring it in! It's arrived, Father.

I THINK I know what it is.

Johnnie, you'll be thrilled. It IS ! How wonderful!

They've been in the family, years. Father's had offers to sell them,

but he never would. How many more?

Just these two, sir. He's sent both! These are Father's most precious possessions. You don't say.

Our first heirlooms to be handed down to our children, and grandchildren. Indeed.

Father, you're so good to me you make me want to cry.

CHAIR CREAKS

What was that?

Yes, you've made me VERY happy.

You've made Johnnie happy, too.

Just a minute, Father, he wants to say something.

(Say something very nice. These chairs really belong in a museum.)

Hello, General! ..Yes, but shouldn't you have sent them to a museum? We're thrilled!

What? A job?

Lina and I were going into that. I have excellent opportunities.

I've just received a letter from my cousin, Captain Melbeck.

..Yes, he is a splendid chap.

He wants someone to manage his estate. I thought I'd take the job. ..I'm glad you approve.

We'll get together soon. Goodbye, sir.

That was a fib about Captain Melbeck.

Was it?

You had this letter all the time? Yes. Why didn't you tell me?

Because I never dreamed I'd use it, anymore than I dreamed we'd receive these two beautiful chairs.

Hello! Nice place old Johnnie's got here. Old Georgian house?

It would cost a packet to redecorate.

Who are you? I'm Beaky Thwaite.

You must be old Johnnie's wife? Yes, I am.

Didn't he ever tell you about me? Beaky? Oh, you're BEAKY !

I thought I'd just pop in for a cup of tea.

I've heard so much about you. I ran into Johnnie last week at Newbury races. The races?

I mean, didn't he tell you?

Johnnie has a job. Besides, he's given up betting. He has, has he? Don't you believe it. Not Johnnie.

Don't mind Johnnie cutting up. Besides, he thinks you're a topper. Yes, he does. So do I, what?

Won't you sit down, Mr Thwaite? I don't see why not.

Something wrong? There were two chairs here this morning.

Disappeared, have they? Apparently. Were they expensive?

Yes, they were. They were museum pieces.

That Johnnie! He'll be the death of me.

Don't you understand? No.

I'll bet you Johnnie's sold them. What for?

For money! A fellow must pay his racing debts.

Johnnie dropped a packet of money at Newbury. These bookies don't trust a chap like Johnnie for long.

I don't believe a word you're saying.

Put my foot in it again? You mustn't take it so seriously.

After all, it's Johnnie! Wonderful chap, but I needn't tell you that!

He wouldn't sell them without asking me.

Here he is! Don't tell him I said a word.

If you want to see Johnnie at his best, mention chairs. He'll soon invent a howling lie!

Beaky!

Johnnie, how are you, old bean? I just popped in to see you.

How's my little Monkeyface? Hmm?

What's the matter, darling? Nothing. Why?

Your wife seems to be missing some chairs. Beaky, your pipe is not lit. Let me get a match.

Catch, Beaky!

About those chairs, old bean?

Hmm? The missing chairs. Oh, yes.

I imagine the American took them. American?

Didn't I tell you about him? How stupid of me.

He dropped by about a week ago. Friend of Melbeck.

Go on, old man. Anyway, he admired the chairs. Offered a hundred each for them. Anyone would take that.

I wouldn't.

Oh, wouldn't you really, dear?

Well, that never occurred to me.

In fact, I told him you would.

Why didn't you mention it? Sorry, darling, but I thought I did.

If they're gone, they're gone. They're gone all right!

Shall we...change for dinner? You ARE an angel.

Hold on a minute. He offered a hundred a piece for them? Yes.

Let's see the cheque. He'll send it.

I bet you ?10 to a shilling you wouldn't let your wife ask Melbeck if he saw this American.

Are you implying my husband is a liar? Beaky's only joking.

I prefer jokes on other subjects.

Are you staying for dinner? Dinner? I'm spending the weekend.

Johnnie's friends are welcome as long as they remain Johnnie's friends.

Hello, Isobel. Hello, my dear.

Admiring your display? It's nice, isn't it?

Are you going my way? Yes, I am.

How's Johnnie? He's fine. I've just bought your latest for him. He's read all your stories.

What's the matter?

I-I just remembered something.

Will you excuse me, Isobel? Certainly.

I'll see you for dinner soon? Delighted. Goodbye.

Hello, old girl.

Mr Thwaite, I owe you an apology.

Good! I mean, what for? I'll explain later.

I've done you an injustice. Thanks very much. I forgive you from the bottom of my heart.

You seem hot under the collar. It must be about Johnnie.

Excuse me... You mustn't be angry with Johnnie, it's a waste of time.

If you want to get sore with me that's different. I annoy everyone.

Lina! Beaky! Would you mind? I want to speak to Johnnie alone. Out in the garden?

Hello, hello, hello! Don't move. I must watch the expressions on your faces.

What have you got there? You'll soon find out.

Ethel, what have we got to drink in the house? Gin, brandy, champagne. Bring them all.

Remember that necklace you admired in the shop window? It's yours.

And... No, that's for Ethel. Beaky, a little present for you.

It's a stick. The finest malacca money can buy. Thanks, old bean.

Darling, do you remember this?

I saw the hungry eye you gave it. It's yours!

Some hats for you. I never did like your hats.

Remember that funny little hat you wore? Johnnie...

If you don't like the hats you can return them.

Oh, I've got a little present for myself.

I say, old girl, it's a nice stick. Strong, eh?

Oh, dog, eh? That's right.

But Johnnie, what's this all about?

I backed the winner of the Goodwood Cup.

A 10 - 1 shot, and I had ?200 on him.

Why, that's ?2,000! Beaky, that's amazing!

What? The way you worked that out. That sum. What? You're pulling my leg!

Darling, you're quiet. I suppose you disapprove of my betting?

Not with ?2,000 in her lap! Smile, darling, it's all for you.

Smile, darling. Where did you get ?200?

That's not a very tactful question. Where did you get it? For the chairs.

You gambled all your money on a horse?

Well, I owed the bookies money. You know how bookies are!

I got the ?200 to pay them off, but then along came this hot tip... Give us a smile.

You tickle her chin, I'll make faces. Will that work?

Any smiles? No. Do you know any other tricks?

Yes, I'll make a noise like a duck.

QUACKS Shall I do this at the same time?

QUACKS Come on, dear.

Oh, I forgot something! Look, it's a receipt from a certain shop for a certain pair of chairs.

They'll deliver within the hour.

Oh, look, she's smiling!

By jove, she is.

Well done, old bean.

Look, Ethel's done her stuff.

What about celebrating? Trust Beaky to say the right thing at the right time. Come on, then.

I could do with a pull at the beaker.

Ethel, a present for you. Turn around.

Oh, Mr Aysgarth.

Oh, it's much too good for me. Not for you, Ethel.

Oh, thank you, sir. Don't mention it.

Oh, what will my young man say?

Ethel, don't forget the box. Yes, sir.

And don't forget my hat. Oh, no, sir.

This is yours, old girl. Thank you.

This is yours, old bean. Thank you.

What have you got there, brandy? Just this once.

You know that's not good for you. All right. Oh, maybe just this once.

I drink to the last bet made by Johnnie Aysgarth. To the last bet.

BREAKING GLASS

COUGHING

VIOLENT COUGHING

Johnnie, get some water, quick.

It won't help. I've seen this happen before.

That's no use, darling. It will either kill him, or go away by itself.

S-s-sorry, old bean.

One of these days, it will kill him.

Hello, Mrs Aysgarth. Mrs Newsham.

What a lot of books! Do you read them all? No, they're for Johnnie.

Johnnie? Since when has he...?

Oh, detective stories. Yes, he adores them.

He's settled down to rural life? And it seems to agree with him.

Abandoned all his vices? What vices?

Such as betting at the races, for instance?

He's too busy with his job.

Oh? He must have taken an afternoon off.

He was at the Merchester races on Tuesday. Was he? How interesting!

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon, Mrs Aysgarth. Is Mr Aysgarth in?

Mr Aysgarth? Why, no.

When do you expect him? I couldn't say. Perhaps you'd like to talk to Capt. Melbeck? Please.

Mrs Aysgarth to see you, sir.

Well, come in.

What a pleasure to see you. Good afternoon. Do sit down.

Thank you.

I don't want to impose upon you, but you're Johnnie's cousin as well as his employer,

and I wanted to talk to you as I am so worried. Of course.

But I told him I wouldn't prosecute.

Of course... I don't understand.

I told him I wouldn't prosecute.

What are you talking about?

What reason did he give you when I discharged him? When did you discharge him?

Six weeks ago.

Captain Melbeck, I haven't a very keen sense of humour.

If this is a joke I wish you'd tell me. It's not funny to me.

We had an unexpected audit, and the account showed a deficit of ?2,000.

When I looked into Johnnie's records...

I'm terribly sorry, Mrs Aysgarth, he should have told you. It's perfectly all right.

You say you won't prosecute? Not for the time being.

You say you won't prosecute? Not for the time being.

I'll give him every opportunity of replacing the money, but, after all...

Yes, of course.

Thank you very much, Capt. Melbeck.

Goodbye.

Good afternoon, madam. Is Mr Aysgarth home? No, madam.

DOOR OPENS

Then you've heard?

Yes, I've heard.

I'm terribly sorry, darling. This telegram came from the doctor. It tells how it happened.

"..And to my dear sister, Emily Scudamore I bequeath an annuity of ?1,000.

"To my niece, Miss Elsie Chilling, the sum of ?5,000.

"To my two dear cousins, Robert and Jane Atwood, ?500 each.

"The residue of my estate, my house and property therein, I leave to my beloved wife, Martha.

"I wish that she continue the annual allowance of ?500 to my daughter.

"Also... Also, to my daughter, Lina,

"and her husband, John Aysgarth, I bequeath the portrait of myself,

"painted by the distinguished Sir Joshua Nettlewood."

I could do with a drink. I'll get you one. No, I'll get it myself.

You win, old boy.

Lina.

Yes, dear?

Do you ever have any regrets that we married? Why do you ask?

Your father would have left you more than his portrait if you'd been anybody but Mrs John Aysgarth.

Is that what you meant? You haven't answered.

What about you? Have you any regrets?

Monkeyface, marrying you is the one thing I've never changed my mind about.

Do you really mean that? Yes, I really do.

All I want is to spend the rest of my life with you. If you were to die first... If I died first...?

Listen, what about you?

I couldn't stop loving you if I tried.

Have you tried?

Yes. Once.

When?

When I learned you'd lost your job with Captain Melbeck,

How long have you known?

Since last Friday.

Who told you? Captain Melbeck. I met him.

Did he tell you why?

No.

Suppose you tell me why.

Well, we just didn't get along.

It's quite nice here. Shall we stop and look at the sea?

Why didn't you get along with him?

He's a bit of an old fogey.

I suppose my ideas were too daring for him.

I've always had the notion that the secret of success is to start at the top.

You think I'm talking through my hat? Well, I'm not. The way to make money is to think big.

Look at this view, for instance. Why isn't something done about it?

If I had ?10,000, or better still ?20,000, I could start a development here.

All you need is ?20,000?

Hmm. Or ?30,000. An extra ?10,000 wouldn't hurt a bit.

This is the ground plan, Beaky. We could put a large hotel there?

Yes. Down here we could build beach huts. Beech nuts? Huts.

Hello. What goes on here, anyway?

We're organising a real estate company. We're about to buy a beautiful piece of land.

You'll need financing for all this. Have you found someone to put up the money?

Of course. Who? Me.

Oh, I see.

The idea's mine, but the money's Beaky's.

Beaky borrows against his securities,

then we issue stock and... Let me show you, dear.

The company is going to be in my name. Yes, but...

Look, darling, let me show you how simple it is.

Does Beaky understand it? Perfectly...I think.

Captain Melbeck would like to talk to you, sir.

Oh, thank you, Ethel.

I'll take it in the study. Excuse me. All right, old man.

Now, Beaky, please explain it to me.

Well, you see... I rather like this feeling of big business.

I keep telling you not to worry. I'll be able to repay you in two weeks.

We buy up this land and then we sell part of it. That's 100% profit in no time.

On the other part, we build something. To whom do you sell the land?

That shouldn't be difficult. Isn't it time you grew up?

You're scolding me. You need it. Do I? Yes. Shall I stand in the corner?

Beaky, you're not being fair to Johnnie. That's a bit thick.

Why, he gets a salary, writes his own cheques. Exactly.

What's wrong with that?

Lina's been telling me you're a bit soft in the head. It sounded like that to me.

Beaky, hadn't you better change for dinner?

Darling, Beaky's staying with us for a few days. Thank you. Shan't be a jiffy.

What right have you to interfere in my affairs?

But I wasn't really...I... I was only... You were only what?

I was only telling Beaky he shouldn't leave everything to you.

He should take responsibility, too. You're not experienced business men.

What the devil do you know about business? Very little.

You might have ruined the scheme. But if it weren't any good? That's MY business, not YOURS.

If I say it's good, it's good.

I'm going through with this deal, and I don't want any interference from anyone! Is that clear? Yes.

Hello, Monkeyface. You frightened me. I didn't see you come.

I thought you might like to know, I'm calling off the real estate plan. Why? What happened? Nothing.

Does Beaky know about this? No. Not yet.

Why are you doing it? I don't know. Perhaps the land isn't any good.

Or perhaps I don't like the idea of risking Beaky's money, or perhaps I'm too lazy.

Are you still angry over last night? No, I'm not angry.

Are you sure? You've never spoken so sharply to me before and I was afraid... Afraid of what?

I was afraid you'd stop loving me.

No, Monkeyface, I'm not angry, and I love you very much.

Every time I play anagrams, I can only make 3-letter words.

D-o-u-b. No such word. Doubt.

F-u-l. Doubtful. Thank you, old girl.

If you say there's no good going ahead, don't let's do so.

I still don't understand why we have to look at it.

I won't be responsible for calling the scheme off,

without first proving to you it's no good. If you say it's no good, that satisfies me.

After all, it was your idea.

Go up there early tomorrow and look.

Why so insistent? Because I won't be responsible.

That's a long one. There's no such word.

I don't want to go up there in the morning. It will be cold.

Oh, well, what time do we start?

With an 'ER' I could make that 'murderer'.

I'd say about seven o'clock.

Is Mr Aysgarth having breakfast? No, ma'am. He left about two hours ago in Mr Thwaite's car.

WHISTLING

Put in the plug now.

How's that, old bean?

Hello, old girl. Hello, darling.

WALTZ MUSIC ON VICTROLA

Well, well, what's all this? I've only been away a few hours. It seems like a thousand years.

I feel that, too. It was nothing. I came very close to losing my life!

You nearly lost your life? Very close to it.

Let's drop the subject. No. Go on, Beaky.

We were on top of the cliff. I agreed with Johnnie about the soil.

I was trying to turn my car near the edge of the cliff. Was Johnnie in the car? No.

It's not worth talking about.

I didn't realise I was backing the car up to the edge, but I was.

If Johnnie hadn't grabbed the brake I'd be in Kingdom come.

Johnnie saved your life. He did! Came jolly close to losing his own, too.

You don't know how much this means to me.

It means a good bit to me, too. The old fellow deserves a reward.

How about a night out? Aren't you going to Paris, Beaky? Paris?

I've got to cancel the arrangements for my securities.

Why don't you come over with me?

You forget I'm a married man. But I might drive up to London and have that evening out.

How about that? Do let him come!

Well, it seems to me... That I should look for a job. But I'd have more chance in London.

Yes, he would. Do let him come! I don't see how I can stop him!

Pity you won't come to Paris.

Did I tell you what happened to me last time I was in Paris?

I met the most charming girl. I gave her a spot of dinner. It wasn't till later... Ahem!

Sorry, old bean. Sorry, old girl.

Nearly put my foot in it again, have I?

DOG BARKS

An Inspector Hodgson is here. In Mr Aysgarth's absence he wants to speak to you.

Show him to the study, will you, Ethel, please? Very good, madam.

Come this way, please. Thank you.

Mrs Aysgarth?

I am Inspector Hodgson. We're from the county police. This is Mr Benson. How do you do?

Won't you sit down? Thank you.

I believe your husband's not in? No, he's been in London two days.

I thought you might be able to help us. Of course.

Won't you have some tea? No, thank you.

I believe you know a Mr Thwaite? Yes. He's a friend of my husband's.

I don't know how to put it, quite.

Perhaps it would be easier if I showed you today's paper.

Excuse me, please.

I'm sorry. This is... The shock. You see...

We knew him so very well.

I'm sorry, ma'am, but our enquiries are on behalf of the Paris police.

They found papers on Mr Thwaite which indicated he'd just formed a corporation with your husband.

What do the French police believe caused the death?

This is a copy of a telegram we received from Paris.

"Thwaite visited the place in another Englishman's company.

"Both men had been drinking. On arrival, Thwaite ordered a bottle of brandy.

"According to a waiter, Thwaite's companion asked for the brandy to be served in large beakers.

"Apparently as a result of a bet, Thwaite filled one of these beakers to the brim, and drank it all.

"The other man left minutes before the actual tragedy happened.

"French police have not succeeded in establishing his identity.

"According to the waiter, who has a slight understanding of English,

"his name would appear to be Awlbeam or Holebeam."

I'm sorry to upset you, but do you know of any friend of Mr Thwaite's who'd answer to such a name?

Perhaps Mrs Aysgarth could enlighten us about this corporation. I believe I can.

They did not go into real estate, and Mr Thwaite went to Paris to dissolve the corporation.

He apparently died before he could do this.

Any further questions? No, thank you.

Thank you very much, Mrs Aysgarth. Thank you.

Oh, I-I'm sorry.

When does Mr Aysgarth return? This evening.

Would you ask him to ring me? Of course.

Goodbye, Inspector Hodgson. Goodbye.

Benson! Oh... Goodbye, Mrs Aysgarth.

He didn't go to Paris.

He didn't go to Paris, I tell you!

PHONE RINGS Hogarth Club.

May I speak to Mr Aysgarth, please?

When do you expect him?

He left yesterday morning?

No, it doesn't matter, thank you.

Hello, Monkeyface.

You've read about Beaky, have you?

I was terribly fond of Beaky.

Were you?

Yes, dear. I loved that silly, good-hearted fool.

Did you?

Of course I did. Next to you, I loved him more than anybody.

Next to me...

Poor Monkeyface.

Here I am thinking only of myself and forgetting about you. You liked him, too.

I liked him very much.

The police were here.

What did they want?

They wanted you to help them.

They had a telegram from Paris.

There was an Englishman who made a bet.

Yes, the whole story was in the late edition. What else?

The Inspector wants you to phone him.

He thought perhaps you could help identify this Englishman.

What did you tell them? Did you mention the corporation?

Naturally. I told them that Beaky was planning to dissolve it...

I wish you'd left all that to me. What else did you tell them?

That's about all. I said I expected you from London at any moment.

Hello? Hello, Wickstead Police Station, please.

Hello. Hello, Inspector.

This is John Aysgarth. I've just got home.

I drove up to London with him on Tuesday. We dined at the Savoy.

..Yes. Then I saw him off at Croydon Airport.

No, I stayed in London until this afternoon.

At my club. Yes.

Yes.

Not at all, Inspector.

Isobel?

Lina, how nice! I don't see as much of you as I'd like.

How sweet of you. I was so interested in your last book, I had to talk to you about it.

What a thrilling compliment!

Had your tea? Yes, I have, thank you.

I never knew you were a murder story fan. Neither did I until now.

Did you really like it? I was fascinated by your villain...

My hero, you mean. I always think of my murderers as my heroes. You were saying?

When he enticed his victim across the bridge, knowing it was sawn... AND his victim couldn't swim.

Would you call that an actual murder? From a moral standpoint, it IS murder.

Oh, I suppose it is.

What does Johnnie think? Johnnie? I haven't discussed it with him.

It's the same situation with this friend of his. The same?

That brandy business is just like my footbridge. Was it an accident? This brandy thing isn't new at all.

It's been done before? And in real life, too.

I have it here. Richard Palmer got rid of one victim that way.

A man called Abbey. Was he hanged?

"Trial of Richard Palmer." Where can it be?

The fool got bored with brandy, and went on with poison.

He WAS a fool. Maybe I put it under the 'T's'.

If he had stuck to brandy... That's interesting!

Suppose I ask my brother? He's the Home Office analyst.

Conducts post mortems and all that.

It really doesn't matter, Isobel.

It's not important. T - T - T. I don't want to trouble you.

Now I remember! It's in your own house. What is?

"The Trial of Richard Palmer". Johnnie borrowed it two weeks ago.

Goodbye, Isobel. Goodbye, my dear.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hello.

No, he isn't in. This is Mrs Aysgarth.

This is the Guarantors Assurance Company. Would you tell Mr Aysgarth he should get our reply tomorrow?

Yes, I will. Thank you.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Good morning, madam.

Morning. Are there any letters? Three for Mr Aysgarth and a magazine for you, ma'am.

Hello, Ethel. Hello, I've brought your morning tea and the post.

Hello, darling. Any letters for me?

Three.

Thank you, dear.

Well, well, well. Good news?

I've got a letter from old Spotty. He's going to India.

What a life! Says he wishes he had time to pop down and see us.

Oh, dear me. Poor old Spotty.

Oh, well.

Do you mind if I take my bath before you, dear? No, dear.

DOOR OPENS

May I have some more soap, Monkeyface?

Yes, there's some in the cupboard above the washbasin.

Darling, you're not shivering, are you? I've a bit of a chill.

Cold in all this sunshine? Let me warm you up. How do you feel now? Better? Much.

Perhaps this will help.

Darling, what are we doing tonight?

We're going to Isobel's to dine. What a bore.

GENERAL CONVERSATION

In your book, you say the fellow comes into the room,

locks it and strums the piano. Then someone shoots him?

Why lock the door just to play the piano?

Was he ashamed of his playing?

No, a certain note on the piano was wired to a revolver. When the victim struck the note...!

I don't care for that. You're slipping.

Why? It's too complicated. It should be simpler.

Am I right, Dr Sedbusk?

You're right, as long as you don't get caught.

Do the wine, Phil? Yes, Issie.

How would you do it simply? I'd use the most obvious method.

It's important not to be suspected. For instance? ..Poison.

Use the first one that came to mind say, arsenic.

Ahhh, arsenic! I remember...

in Gloucester where we exhumed the body, four years after,

and there was still enough poison, even in the hair. But did you get the murderer?

Let me see... No, I don't think we did.

This very minute there are hundreds of people who have committed murder

and are walking about freely.

Do you suppose those murderers are happy?

I don't see why they shouldn't be. Fear of discovery, my lad.

So long as the tiniest hair from your head can be identified...

Surely by now there exists a poison that can't be traced?

What about it, Doctor?

A very interesting corpse dropped in the other day.

No, please, I saw that look you exchanged. There IS an untraceable poison, isn't there?

No such thing. I bet you know, Doctor.

What is it? Not in a million years.

Come. After all, do I look like a murderer?

That's interesting. What do you think, Issie?

Issie can always tell if a person is capable of murder, by their face.

I usually can.

You couldn't hurt a fly, Bertram, unless it was already dead.

What about Mrs Aysgarth? I'm afraid not.

Lina hasn't got the nerve, any more than I have. As for you!

Trying to look mysterious! You couldn't commit a murder if you tried.

No, I don't believe I could.

Johnnie, you're locking up. What about Ethel?

Ethel won't be back till morning.

What about Cook? Have you forgotten? Cook's away on a holiday.

Darling, you're shivering again. Do you think you're catching cold?

I think that's what it must be.

We'll have to tuck you into bed. Take off your coat. Please don't.

This reminds me of the day we first met, when you wouldn't let me undo your blouse's top button.

I shall never forget it.

Well, get undressed, old girl, what are you waiting for? Johnnie, I'd like to be alone tonight.

Would you mind sleeping in your dressing room?

Of course I'd mind.

Please, Johnnie, I haven't been sleeping well lately.

I understand. You used to sleep badly when I wasn't here, and now...

All right. If that's the way you feel about it. Good night.

Feeling better? Yes, thank you.

Hello, Isobel.

How are you, my dear? All right.

I've been asleep all day, haven't I?

Isobel's brother gave you a sleeping pill this morning. Your nerves seemed to be all upset.

Bertram had a look at you, although he doesn't usually attend living people. He said you needed sleep.

I'll run down and tell Ethel to fix something for your supper.

He's one in a million, your Johnnie. Isn't he?

Have you been here all afternoon?

Naturally. And I warn you, if you leave me much longer with Johnnie, my career will soon be over.

He flirted with you, I suppose? Worse than that! He's worming all my secrets out of me.

I suspect him of writing a detective story.

What secrets? He's always pestering me. I always swear I won't tell him, but I do.

Did you tell him anything today? Did I? Bertram was furious. Said he'd never confide in me again.

But honestly, have YOU ever been able to deny Johnnie anything? No.

It was about that poison, wasn't it? Don't remind me! I'm ashamed and mortified.

If he writes a story on that one before I do, I'll deserve it.

Imagine, a substance in daily use. Anyone can lay his hands on it.

And, within a minute after taking, the victim's out of the way. It's undetectable after death.

Is whatever it is, painful?

Not in the least. In fact, I think it would be a most pleasant death.

Good night, Lina.

You're still annoyed with me, aren't you?

No, I still don't feel well, that's all.

And a few days at your mother's would do more good than staying at home! Mother telephoned me...

She got on the phone awfully early. Mother gets up early.

I happened to mention I was a bit nervy, and I agreed to spend a few days with her.

All right. I'll get the car ready. Oh no, I'll drive myself. I prefer to drive you.

I think I'll take the short cut.

Johnnie!

Aaaaah!

Johnnie. Johnnie!

Aaargh! SCREECH TO A HALT

Lina, what's got into you? Lina!

Stop it! I've had enough! How much do you think a man can bear?

You shrink away from me as if you hated me!

You almost killed us back there, because you pulled away when I was trying to save you from falling out

You don't have to put up with me any more.

Johnnie, where are you going?

First, I'm taking you to your mother's. Then what? I won't bother you again.

Johnnie, you mean you're going to... Johnnie!

Why were you asking about the poison?

Johnnie, you were going to kill yourself!

Yes, but I saw that was a cheap way out.

So I'm going to see it out. Prison term as well. Prison? The money?

I can't pay it back. I tried when I went with Beaky.

To Paris? I went to Liverpool. I tried to borrow on your insurance but it didn't work. Liverpool!

You didn't go to Paris? Of course not!

Think I'd have let some idiot give Beaky that brandy?

Johnnie, if I'd only known! It's my fault, too.

I was only thinking of myself, not your ordeal.

If I'd been really close to you you could have confided in me!

But you were ashamed to come to me. If I'd only understood, Johnnie.

But we'll make it different now.

People don't change overnight, Lina. I'm no good!

Let's turn back. Let's go home and see it through together. No.

It won't work. It will work! I know it will.

This isn't your problem, Lina.

But it IS ! You can't shut me out!

Turn the car around and let's go home. Please, Johnnie. No, Lina, no.

My darling...

Subtitles by Hazel Nairn. BBC Scotland.

So, heart-shaped box of slugs...

Ooh! Skunk-scented candle!

Mmm!

There may not be Easter eggs...

One free foot massage. A mud facial!

Coupons!