Becoming Jane

BIRDSONG

SOLEMN TICKING

The boundaries...

of...

..propriety...

..vigorously...

..assaulted.

'..propriety were...'

SIGHS EXCLAIMS

PLAYS SINGLE NOTE

PLAYS FLUENT SCALE

PLAYS SLOW, HAUNTING MELODY

DOVES COO PEACEFULLY

MUSIC CONTINUES SNORING

ALL SNORT AND SQUEAL

'The boundaries of...propriety

'were vigorously assaulted.'

The boundaries of propriety were vigorously assaulted,

as was certainly right, but not quite breached, as was also right.

Nevertheless...

..she was not pleased.

STRIKES UP LOUD, VIGOROUS TUNE

SQUEAKS PROTESTINGLY

CONTINUES TO PLAY LOUDLY AND ENTHUSIASTICALLY

-GASPS

-What is it?

-Jane!

Oh.

JANE!

CONTINUES TO PLAY

Oh, dear me!

That girl needs a husband.

But who's good enough? Nobody.

I blame you for that.

Being too much the model of perfection?

-LAUGHS

-I've shared your bed for 32 years.

Perfection is something I've not encountered.

Yet.

CHUCKLES

Oh! Stop it! Mr Austen!

It's Sunday! Stop! No!

-It's...

-CHUCKLES

The utmost of a woman's character is expressed...

in the duties of daughter,

sister,

and, eventually...wife and mother.

It is secured by soft attraction, virtuous love...

and quiet in the early morning.

If a woman happens to have a particular superiority,

for example a profound mind, it is best kept a profound secret.

'Humour is liked more, but wit...? No.

'It is the most treacherous talent of them all.'

Now, George, old fellow, you know you have to stay.

-Jenny!

-George...

There.

Hurry along, Jane! We'll be late!

When Her Ladyship calls, we must obey.

Come along, Jane!

Lady Gresham, may I introduce my niece,

Comtesse de Fueillide.

And Mr Fowle, Cassandra's fiance.

Comtesse...? Then, you presume to be French?

-By marriage.

-Monsieur le Comte is not here to pay his respects.

A prior engagement. Monsieur le Comte was obliged to pay them

-to Madame la Guillotine.

-TREMULOUSLY:

-Oh...!

I see your nephew is with us again. Mr Wisley?

Wisley is indispensable to my happiness.

Oh, do sit down.

Mr Fowle and Cassandra are only recently engaged.

When shall you marry?

-Not for some time, Your Ladyship.

-Why not?

I am also engaged for the West Indies

with Lord Craven's expedition against the French, as chaplain.

What has Craven offered you?

-I have hopes of a parish on my return.

-How much is it worth?

CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY Enough to marry on,

in a modest way.

SIGHS

Mr Wisley,

did you know the Basingstoke Assemblies resume? Very soon,

I believe. Jane does enjoy a ball.

Wisley can't abide them.

But, sir, a ball is an indispensable blessing

to the juvenile part of the neighbourhood.

Everything agreeable in the way of talking and sitting down together,

all managed with the utmost decorum.

An amiable man could not object.

Then, I find I am converted.

'Displayed, like a brood mare!'

Mr Wisley is a highly eligible young gentleman.

-Oh, Mother!

-You know our situation, Jane!

And he's Lady Gresham's favourite nephew, and heir.

One day he shall inherit this!

-SIGHS LONGINGLY

-Excellent prospects!

CHUCKLES TEASINGLY

-His small fortune will not buy me.

-What

-will

-buy you, cousin?

Oof!

CROWDS CHEERS AND SHOUTS

He's getting a pasting!

-More wary in the world, Mr Lefroy!

-CHUCKLES

-Hit him!

-ALL YELL

LAUGHS

-You can pay me for that later!

-Huzzah! Huzzah!

Go on, hit him!

-ALL CHEER

-Lefroy!

ALL SHOUT AND LAUGH

-Glass of wine with you, sir?

-Madam.

GRUNTS

Displaying to advantage, I see, Lefroy.

Like the sword, Austen!

-How long before you have to go back to the sticks?

-A day.

-So short?

-Mm. Doghouse. Debts. But one must cut some sort of a figure,

-even in the militia.

-Especially when condemned to a parsonage.

-Yes. Still...

-Who is the sour-faced little virgin?

Er, your pardon, ma'am.

Mr Tom Lefroy, may I present Mr John Warren?

My father is preparing us both for holy orders.

Er, I understand you've visited Hampshire, Mr Lefroy.

-Last year.

-CHUCKLES

-Long visit, was it?

Very long, Mr Warren. Almost three hours.

Mr Austen...a kiss, a kiss!

-Oops!

-Oh!

-Where should we go? Vauxhall Gardens?

-Been there.

Oh, Lefroy, there's a Tahitian love fest on at White's.

-Crockfords?

-Done that. Or...it did me.

Wh-Wh-What is a Tahitian love fest?

BOTH CHUCKLE

Warren!

Theft of one pig is a crime, heinous to be sure,

-but two pigs are...

-DOOR BANGS OPEN

Two pigs is a violent assault on the very sanctity

of private property itself.

-WHISPERS APOLOGETICALLY:

-You...and your kind

are a canker on the body social.

And cankers are cut...out.

Transportation for life.

Next!

-Why are you here in London, sir?

-To learn the law.

Which has no other end but what?

The preservation of the rights of property.

-Against?

-The mob.

Therefore order is kept...

-..because we have...

-A standing army?

Good manners, sir. And prudence. Do you know that word? Prudence?

Yes.

Consider myself. I was born rich, certainly,

but I remained rich by virtue of exceptional conduct.

I have shown...restraint.

Your mother, my sister, became poor because she did not.

-She married my father for love.

-And that's why you have so many

brothers and sisters back there in Limerick.

If you hope...I say hope.

If you aspire to inherit my property...

..you must prove yourself more worthy.

But what do we find? We find dissipation

wild enough to glut the imaginings of a Hottentot, braggadocio,

wild companions,

gambling, running around St James's like a neck-or-nothing young blood

of the fancy. What kind of lawyer will that make?

Typical.

Humour.

Well, you're going to need that, because I'm teaching you a lesson.

I am sending you to stay with your other relations, the Lefroys.

Uncle...they live in the country!

Deep...in the country.

CHUCKLES

ROOKS CAW

-Jane?

-Hmm?

Can you...?

Thank you.

I think you two quite the prettiest sisters in England.

CHUCKLES

Mr Fowle will be enchanted.

San Domingo is half a world away.

-He'll forget me.

-Oh, impossible!

Look at the memory you're giving him tonight.

LAUGHS Cassie...

his heart will stop at the very sight of you,

or he doesn't deserve to live.

Yes, I am aware of the contradiction embodied in that sentence.

CLATTER OF HOOVES AND CARRIAGE WHEELS Who is it?

Jane!

Henry! LAUGHS

Oh! Oh, wonderful!

Hello, John. It's very good to see you.

ALL CHATTER

George!

-Leave your brother alone!

-BOTH LAUGH

-MURMUR OF CONVERSATION

-Jane!

Jane! Have you heard? My father's nephew is staying with us.

-From London!

-He is...

-A brilliant young lawyer.

-Lucy, please.

-With a reputation!

-For lateness?

RINGS ON CUP

Hat off, George! Father's ready!

Thank you, John.

The family is always moving, in great ways and small.

Firstly, the small.

Henry is back from Oxford with his degree...

-thank goodness.

-Well done.

-ALL LAUGH

And our friend John, my new student. Then the great -

Cassandra, who is forsaking us for her brother Edward

and his family at the coast, whilst Robert voyages to the West Indies

with Lord Craven's expedition. And then, together,

they can embark on that most great and most serious journey of life.

Miss Austen, I understand you will be favouring us with a reading?

-Do, Jane.

-ALL MURMUR ENCOURAGEMENT

Advice from a young lady,

on the engagement of her beloved sister, Cassandra...

to a Fowle. ALL LAUGH

His addresses were offered in a manner violent enough

to be flattering. The boundaries of propriety were vigorously assaulted,

as was only right, but not quite breached, as was also right.

Nevertheless... DOOR BANGS

Er...may I introduce my young nephew, Mr Thomas Lefroy.

And he's more than welcome. Join us, sir. Join us.

Green velvet coat!

Vastly fashionable!

You'll find this vastly amusing.

"His addresses were...

"The boundaries of propriety were vigorously assaulted,

"as was only right, but not quite breached,

"as was also right. Nevertheless, she was not...

"..her sentiments noble, her person lovely,

"her figure elegant..." CHUCKLES

-God, there's writing on both sides of those pages!

-Ssh, damn it!

"..yesterday I repelled Lord Graham and his six million,

"which would have lasted me almost a twelvemonth...

-"..With the colonies."

-Oh!

ALL LAUGH CONTINUES UNDER BACKGROUND MUSIC

"..a treasure greater than all the jewels in India,

-"an adoring heart."

-God!

"Pray, madam, what am I to expect in return?"

"Expect? Well, you may expect to have me pleased from time to time."

-Is this who I am?!

-ALL CHUCKLE

"And a sweet, gentle,

"pleading, innocent, delicate,

"sympathetic, loyal, untutored, adoring female heart."

The end. CHUCKLES ALL LAUGH

-Bravo, Jane!

-Well done, Jane!

-ALL BUT TOM APPLAUD

Mm. Well done.

-MURMUR OF CONVERSATION

-She speaks so well!

ALL CHATTER

Excessively charming, I thought!

Accomplished enough, perhaps.

But a metropolitan mind may be less susceptible to juvenile self-regard.

CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY

STRIKES UP DETERMINED BUT SLIGHTLY AWKWARD TUNE

-LOUD AND OFF-KEY

-# In airy dreams...

-ENTHUSIASTICALLY, STILL FLAT

-# Love to see...

-# Do you...

-AIMS FOR HIGH NOTE AND MISSES

# Often think on...

# Me? #

APPLAUDS

Careful there, old fellow.

Fine piece, Mr Lefroy.

-Handled a gun before, have you, Tom?

-"Tom"...!

-SQUEALS

DOGS BARK GASPS

PANTS IN TERROR

-Tom...!

-Uncle?

Why not try a walk?

There's some very fine country around about.

-Very fine.

-A walk...

Miss!

Miss? Miss? Miss!

Miss, I... Oof!

-BITES BACK A GIGGLE

-Miss?

Er, Miss... Miss, er...

-Austen!

-Ah. Mr Lefroy.

Oh... Yes, I know. But I am alone.

Except for me.

-Exactly.

-Oh, come!

What rules of conduct apply in this rural situation?

We have been introduced, have we not?

What value is there in an introduction

when you cannot even remember my name -

indeed, you can barely stay awake in my presence?

-Madam.

-These scruples must seem very provincial

to a gentleman of such elevated airs, but I do not devise these rules.

I am merely obliged to obey them.

I have been told that there is much to see upon a walk,

but all I've detected so far is a tendency to green above

-and brown below.

-Well, others have detected more.

It is celebrated. There is even a book about Selborne Wood.

Oh!

A novel, perhaps.

Novels...

being poor, insipid things read by mere women -

even, God forbid, written by mere women?

-Ah. We are talking of your reading.

-As if the writing of women

did not display the greatest powers of mind, knowledge of human nature,

the liveliest effusions of wit and the best-chosen language imaginable!

-Was I deficient in rapture?

-In consciousness!

It was...

It was...

..accomplished.

It was ironic.

-You are sure I've not offended you?

-Not at all!

SIGHS

BABBLE OF VOICES

BANGS LOUDLY

My lords, ladies and gentlemen, The Grand Vizier's Flight!

-May I have the honour?

-How kind, cousin.

-Miss Austen.

-Oh, Mr Wisley.

May I have the...pleasure of this next dance?

BOTH CHATTER AND LAUGH

-Oh, no, we're so late!

-Take care!

-Oh, thank you, Tom! Hurry!

-Lucy!

ORCHESTRA PLAYS LIVELY BUT FORMAL DANCE TUNE

-Agh!

-Oh!

I am mortified.

I practise, but it...won't...stick.

What a lovely pair they make.

-Ah, sister!

-What do you make of Mr Lefroy?

-Oh, we are honoured by his presence.

-You think?

-He does,

with his preening Irish-cum-Bond-Street airs!

-Jane!

-Well, refusing to dance, when there are so few gentlemen!

-Jane!

-Are all your friends so disagreeable?

-Where exactly in Ireland does he come from?

-Limerick, Miss Austen.

I would regard it as a mark of extreme favour

if you would stoop to honour me with this next dance.

LIVELY, ELEGANT MUSIC STRIKES UP

Being the first to dance with me, I feel it only fair to inform you

-that you carry the standard for Hampshire hospitality.

-Ah!

Then, your country reputation depends on my report.

This is called a country dance, after the French, contredanse...

..not because it is exhibited at an uncouth rural assembly,

with glutinous pies...

..execrable Madeira...

and truly anarchic dancing.

You judge the company severely, madam.

-I was describing your thoughts.

-Allow me to think for myself.

Let me do the same, and come to a different conclusion.

-Will you give so much to a woman?

-It must depend upon the woman,

and what she thinks of me.

You are...

above being pleased.

And I think that you, Miss... What was it?

-Austen, Mr...

-Lefroy.

I think that you, Miss Austen...

..consider yourself a cut above the company.

Me?

You, ma'am...

-secretly.

-MUSIC CONCLUDES AND STOPS

ALL APPLAUD

-How many times did you stand up with that gentleman, Jane?

-Twice?

Twice would have been partial. Thrice would have been absolutely...

-Flagrant.

-Careful, Jane. Lucy's right.

Mr Lefroy does have a reputation.

Presumably as the most disagreeable, insolent, arrogant,

impudent...

..insufferable...

impertinent...of men!

Too many adjectives.

What is she trying to say?!

On your toes, gentlemen! No singles.

-ALL GASP AND APPLAUD

-Bowl us in!

I never feel more French than when I watch cricket.

-Out!

-Not out. No.

I begin to suspect you of flirting with my brother.

Flirting is a woman's trade. One must keep in practice.

SHOUTS

-ALL CHATTER AND LAUGH

-Well played.

So, we're depending on you.

-Oh, it's Mr Warren's...

-Thank you.

-..turn.

John Warren!

Good luck, Mr Warren.

John never was very good, though.

ALL APPLAUD

-Easy!

-Hit the ball, sir!

-ALL LAUGH

-Run, Warren! Run! Run!

-Jolly good show!

Watch!

Yeah!

-ALL APPLAUD

-Prodigious, Tom! Prodigious!

LAUGHS

-Thank you, Warren. On your way.

-Same again, Tom.

Well done, Mr Warren!

Bad ball. A terrible wicket. I hope you're not too disappointed.

Four more to win, Wisley.

-Who's next?

-Come on!

-She can't...

-Jane!

-What on earth are you going to do?

-Irrepressible!

-She can.

APPLAUSE

Go easy, Tom.

Be gentle, Lefroy!

DOG BARKS ALL APPLAUD

Run, Jane! Run!

-Move!

-Run!

ALL SHOUT

One more!

Not out.

ALL CHEER

-LAUGHS

-Lefroy!

She was so good!

-You've played this game before.

-No choice. Raised by brothers.

Time for a swim, I think.

-Well played, Henry.

-I dedicate our victory

to la Comtesse de Fueillide.

-There's a decent bit of river over the hill.

-Oh, yes?

ALL SHOUT AND LAUGH

Careful!

ALL YELL HAPPILY

-Not this time, Lefroy!

-Why not?

-DOG BARKS

-Down, boy.

-Father, have you seen Tom?

-No, Lucy, I've not.

Besotted!

Natural enough at 15.

Love and sense are enemies at any age.

-Mrs Lefroy, may I explore your library?

-Of course.

Lucy would marry him tomorrow. And what a terrible husband he'd make!

I suppose you mean his reputation.

Experience can recommend a man.

MALE VOICE CHUCKLES

STAIRS CREAK

-Miss Austen!

-Oh! Mr Lefroy.

-And reading! CHUCKLES

-Yes.

I have been looking through your book of the wood,

-Mr White's Natural History.

-Oh! How do you like it?

-I cannot get on. It is too disturbing.

-Disturbing?!

Mmm!

Take this observation.

"Swifts, on a fine morning in May, flying this way, that way,

"sailing around at a great height perfectly happily.

"Then... Then one leaps onto the back of another,

"grasps tightly, and, forgetting to fly,

"they both sink down and down... in a great dying fall,

"fathom after fathom,

"until the female utters..."

Yes?

"..the female utters a loud, piercing cry...

"..of ecstasy."

Is this conduct commonplace in the natural history of Hampshire?

Er... SNAPS BOOK SHUT CHUCKLES

Your ignorance is understandable,

since you lack... What shall we call it?

..the history?

-Propriety commands me to ignorance.

-Condemns you to it,

and your writing to the status of female accomplishment.

If you wish to practise the art of fiction,

to be the equal of a masculine author,

experience is vital.

I see.

And, er...what qualifies you to offer this advice?

-I know more of the world.

-CHUCKLES

A great deal more, I gather.

Enough to know that your horizons must be...

widened...

..by an extraordinary young man.

By a very dangerous young man!

One who has no doubt infected the hearts of many a young...woman...

-with the soft corruption...

-Read this,

and you will understand.

"When the philosopher heard that the fortress of virtue

"had already been subdued, he began to give a large scope

"to his desires. His appetite was not of that squeamish kind

-"which cannot feed on a dainty..."

-'"..because another has tasted it."'

-He's not tasting this dainty.

-What, dear?

JANE READS, TOM BLENDING IN "Nor had her face much appearance

"of beauty, but her clothes, being torn

"from all the upper part of the body, her breasts..."

'"..which were well formed and extremely white,

'"attracted the eyes of her deliverer, and for a few moments,

-'"they stood silent..."'

-"..and gazing at each other."

CHURCH BELL RINGS

LOW MURMUR OF CONVERSATION

I have read your book.

-I have read your book... and disapprove.

-Course you do.

But of what? The scenes? Characters?

-The prose?

-No.

-All good.

-The morality?

-Flawed. CHUCKLES

-Of course it is.

But why? Vice leads to difficulty, virtue to reward.

-Bad characters come to bad ends.

-Exactly. But, in life...

bad characters often thrive. Take yourself.

LAUGHS

And a novel must show how the world truly is -

how characters genuinely think, how events actually occur.

A novel should somehow...

er...reveal the true source of our actions.

What of my hero's feelings?

It seems to me, sir, that your hero's very vigorous feelings

caused him, and everyone connected with him, a great deal of trouble.

Ah, well, if the book has troubled you...

-But an author must know trouble.

-What sort of trouble?

All sorts of trouble.

BABBLE OF VOICES AND LAUGHTER

LIVELY DRUMBEAT SHOUTING

Bampton Fair! Vastly entertaining. Monstrous good idea, Jane.

Yes, Miss Austen. Not your usual society.

Show a little imagination, Mr Lefroy.

SHOUTING LIVELY FIDDLE MUSIC

GASPS LAUGHS

SQUEALS

Trouble here enough!

And freedom - the freedom of men.

-Do not you envy it?

-When I have the intense pleasure

of observing it so closely?

Harder! Hit him harder!

There's a fool, to go to it with a professional.

-Go on, lad!

-You know about this, of course.

-Of course.

-Vastly fashionable pastime in London.

EXCLAIMS CROWD SHOUTS

Beating a man to a pulp... What are you doing?

CROWD ROARS

Mr Lefroy... Stop!

-Stop!

-Let us see how you fare against me, sir!

ALL SHOUT EXCITEDLY

-Five shillings on the gent. We'll take it.

-ALL CHATTER

-Who's he, then?

-ALL SHOUT

-Thank you.

-Keep 'em comin'!

-Knock him out!

-Tom!

Hit him, man!

-Tom...

-Up!

You must stop!

Come on, Lefroy!

Up, sir!

-Stop!

-Tom!

Lucy!

ALL CHEER

-That's twice he's done that to me.

-You spend money like water!

I'm afraid it's damn low water with me.

-I'm afraid I'm short, sir.

-Take it.

How embarrassing!

Mr Lefroy? Mr Lefroy?!

Mr Lefroy!

Was I deficient in propriety?

Why did you do that?

Couldn't waste all those expensive boxing lessons.

Forgive me if I suspect in you a sense of justice.

CHUCKLES COUGHS

I am a lawyer. Justice plays no part in the law.

Is that what you believe?

I believe what I must.

I beg your leave.

A heart has stirred.

It's a summer squall. Mr Lefroy will soon be gone,

and Mr Wisley will still be waiting...I hope.

-The man's a booby.

-Oh, he will grow out of that,

and she could fix him with very little trouble.

-You could persuade her.

-To sacrifice her happiness?

Jane should have...not the man who offers the best price,

-but the man she wants!

-Oh, Mr Austen!

Must we have this conversation day in and day out?!

The girl will end up in the gutter, if we carry on like this!

DOOR SLAMS

Janie!

Mr Austen!

Where are you?!

RINGS BELL

So kind of you to return the call.

-Will you take a dish of tea, ma'am?

-Green tea?

Brown, Your Ladyship.

Then, no.

Where is your youngest daughter?

She's visiting the poor...ma'am.

BOTH LAUGH

Jane! Jane!

At last! Lady Gresham and Mr Wisley have come to call.

Where have you been?!

Ma'am. Sir.

Well, perhaps the young people would like to take a walk.

I see a pretty little wilderness at the side of the house.

Excuse me.

Jane!

-What is she doing?

-Writing.

Can anything be done about it?

Miss Austen, you may know that...

I have known you for some considerable time,

during my visits to Steventon...

The garden is...so affecting... in this season.

Indeed.

The impression you have given me has been -

Flowers, particularly.

What I'm trying to say... is that I...

I have a respectable property of £2,000 a year,

and addition to greater expectations as Lady Gresham's heir,

-to which it may be indelicate to refer.

-Oh, indelicate. yes.

It's yours...if we marry. All of it, yours.

Mr Wisley...

Your offer is most sincere, I can see,

and gentlemanlike, and it honours me, truly.

But...for all you are, and all you offer, I...

Yes.

CLEARS THROAT

Sometimes affection is a shy flower that takes time to blossom.

Lying to tradesmen! Mending, scratching, scraping!

Endlessly, endlessly making do!

I understand that our circumstances are difficult.

-There is no money for you.

-Surely something could be done!

What we can put by must go to your brothers! You will have nothing,

-unless you marry.

-I will not marry without affection,

-like my mother!

-And now I have to dig my own damn potatoes!

Would you rather be a poor old maid? Ridiculous?

Despised? The butt of jokes? The legitimate sport

of any village lout with a stone and an impudent tongue?

Affection...

is desirable.

Money... is absolutely indispensable.

I could live by my...

Your what?

-I could live by my...

-Pen?!

Let's knock that notion on the head once and for all.

What's this? Trouble...

amongst my women?

Come. Take hands, and there's an end.

-Where are you going? Miss!

-To feed the pigs, ma'am!

He could give you a splendid home.

-A comfortable life.

-Father...

Consider.

This is likely to be your best offer.

Wisley?! CHUCKLES

It is true, so far he has not impressed us...

-"A booby."

-He should grow out of that.

Nothing...destroys spirit...

..like poverty.

I saw Queen Marie Antoinette wear something the same at a ball once.

Am I making a show?

I am, I know.

What trouble we take to make them like us, when we like them!

Henry?

Er...Eliza, my brother is much younger than you.

And poorer.

He knows that I care for him sincerely.

I know that he is handsome...

Handsome young men must have a living, as well as the plain.

-You'd encourage him to take you for money?

-Men do.

-That does not make it honourable.

-I'm a sensible woman.

Thank God I am not, by your description.

If you were, you might ascertain that your Irish friend

has not a penny, and could not marry without it.

Consider that at the ball tonight.

In any event, he'll be gone tomorrow, back to Bond Street

where he can do no more harm.

LOW MURMUR OF CONVERSATION

Good evening, Miss Austen.

ALL CHATTER QUIETLY

DIALOGUE MUTED UNDER HAUNTING INCIDENTAL MUSIC

VIOLINIST PLAYS INTRO TO LILTING, ELEGANT TUNE

ORCHESTRA JOINS IN

MUSIC DRAWS TO STATELY CONCLUSION

LOW MURMUR OF CONVERSATION

ALL CONVERSE QUIETLY

-Jane Austen, ma'am.

-Pleasure.

CONVERSATION BECOMES INDISTINCT SUBJECTIVELY TO JANE

You dance with passion.

No sensible woman would demonstrate passion...

if the purpose were to attract a husband.

As opposed to a lover?

Rest easy, Mr Lefroy. I have no expectation on either count.

-I did not mean to hurt...

-Oh, no. Of course not. Excuse me.

Just over-warm. Er, pardon me.

CONVERSATION CONTINUES, INDISTINCT

-Ah! Miss Austen!

-Excuse me.

This is unbearable. My father is pressing for an early ordination,

while my own inclination is to the scarlet of a captaincy

in His Majesty's regulars.

But I do not have the money to purchase one.

I do.

Well, that, of course, is impossible.

Oh, Henry! Do not disguise yourself, not to me.

Scarlet...will suit you very well.

-Miss Austen!

-JANE AND ELIZA GASP

There you are!

I cannot believe that I am obliged to have this conversation.

Your Ladyship?

Mr Wisley's mother, my own dear sister, died young.

I have no children of my own.

I hope you never come to understand the pain of that condition.

Let us simply say...my nephew's wishes are close to my heart...

..however extraordinary they may be.

Well...

your health seems robust.

You have the usual accomplishments.

Your person is agreeable.

But...when a young woman such as yourself

receives the addresses from a gentleman such as my nephew,

it is her duty to accept at once!

But what do we find?

-Independent thought?

-Exactly.

My nephew, Miss Austen,

condescends far indeed,

in offering to the daughter of an obscure and impecunious clergyman.

Impecunious? Your Ladyship is mistaken.

I am never...mistaken.

Your father is in grave financial difficulties.

But all is not lost.

He has a daughter upon whom fortune has smiled.

Mr Wisley is a good opportunity for Jane.

She should accept him at once!

Do...not you think?

-Lucy!

-What? What... Mother!

I have learned of Mr Wisley's marriage proposal.

My congratulations.

Is there an alternative, for a well-educated young woman

-of small fortune?

-How can you have him?

Even with his thousands and his houses,

how can you, of all people, dispose of yourself without affection?

How can I dispose of myself with it?

You are leaving tomorrow.

-Did I do that well?

-Very, very well.

I wanted, just once, to do it well.

< MEN CHATTER

I have no money, no property,

I am entirely dependent upon that bizarre old lunatic, my uncle.

I cannot yet offer marriage. But you must know what I feel.

Jane, I'm yours.

God, I'm yours. I'm yours, heart and soul.

Much good that is.

Let me decide that.

What will we do?

What we must.

'"My dearest Cassandra, my heart has wings.

'"Doubts and deliberations are ended.

'"Soon I shall escape the attentions of that great lady

'"and her scintillating nephew.

'"Eliza, Henry and I will join you at the coast,

'"but we are obliged to break our journey in London.

'"Tom has cleverly secured an invitation

'"to stay with his uncle, the judge.

'"Let us hope we can convince him of my eligibility.

'"Please destroy this disgraceful letter

'"the moment you have recovered from your astonishment.

'"Yours affectionately, and in haste, Jane.'"

Tom! Our guests have arrived.

Decorum.

-Countess.

-Sir.

-Welcome...

-Madame le Comtesse.

Madame le Comtesse.

Seldom, too seldom, my house receives the presence of nobility.

And, of course, its friends. Please.

Your stay is short. There's not a moment to lose.

My nephew has devised a plan of metropolitan amusement.

-Pleasure is, as you would say, Madame, his forte.

-Ah, is it?

LAUGHTER

Which battle was it, Tom?

-Ah. Villers-en-Cauchies.

-Very good.

Thousands slain. Served those Frenchies out.

Oh. Saving your presence, ma'am.

Be not afraid of abusing the Jacobins on my account, Judge.

-They guillotined my husband.

-Oh, savages. Beasts.

-And his property?

-Confiscated.

A disaster.

Of course, by then, much of my wealth was portable, so...

-Ah.

-CHUCKLES

Yes, portable property is happiness in a pocketbook. LAUGHTER

Do I detect you in irony?

It is my considered opinion that irony is insult with a smiling face.

-CHUCKLES

-Indeed.

No.

No?

No, irony is the bringing together of contradictory truths

to make out of the contradiction a new truth with a laugh or a smile,

and I confess that a truth must come with one or the other,

or I account it as false and a denial of the nature of humanity itself.

CHUCKLES

My cousin is a writer.

Of what?

Jane?

Novels.

-A young woman of family?

-CLEARS THROAT

-Yes, uncle,

and tomorrow we go and visit another, Mrs Radcliffe.

She keeps herself to herself, but I know her husband through the law.

-Who?

-The authoress, Mrs Radcliffe.

-As writing is her profession.

-Her what?

£500, uncle, for the last novel, The Mysteries of Udolpho.

-And £800, I believe, for her next.

-The Italian.

-Above £1,000?

-CHUCKLES

-The times, the times.

You live so quietly.

And yet your novels are filled with romance, danger, terror.

Everything my life is not.

Oh. Apparently.

-Of what do you wish to write?

-Um...

-..of the heart.

-Oh. Do you know it?

Not all of it.

In time, you will.

But even if that fails, that's what the imagination's for.

Your imagination has brought you independence.

At a cost to myself and to my husband.

Poor William.

To have a wife who has a mind is considered not quite proper.

To have a wife with a literary reputation...

nothing short of scandalous.

But it must be possible.

-To live as both wife and author?

-Oh.

I think so.

Though never easy.

SNORING

Could I really have this?

What, precisely?

You. LAUGHS

Me, how?

-This life with you.

-Yes.

-Lefroy.

-Hush. The judge.

-The man's like a rampant dog.

-SIGHS

He will be generous. I'm sure of it.

-You'll speak with him?

-Tomorrow, I promise.

I really must say good night.

-Good night.

-Good night.

-Miss Austen?

-SIGHS

-Yes?

-Good night.

You know, I think my mother is right.

A husband, and the sooner, the better.

GRUNTS

DOG BARKS

DISTANT BELL TOLLS

Five girls of little fortune.

"..sensibly and as warmly as a man

"violently in love can be supposed to do...

"Mr Wickham was the happy man

"towards whom almost every female eye was turned...

"..No comparison...

"..Partial, prejudiced, absurd...

"Watch for the first appearance of Pemberley Woods...

"The happiness which this reply produced...

"It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed..."

KNOCK AT DOOR

CLOCK CHIMES

-Good morning, sir.

-Good morning?

-Has the world turned topsy?

-Sir?

I trust the countess is enjoying her visit?

-I... I gather she is, sir. I...

-Fine woman, very fine woman.

Indeed. I'd hoped to discuss a certain matter.

Your allowance is beyond negotiation.

SIGHS

Now that you have had the opportunity

to become acquainted with Miss Austen yourself,

I am sure you will find, as I do,

-that she is a remarkable young woman.

-YELLS

-This is an outrage!

-If you will allow me to speak, sir.

-There is no need. This letter makes it absolutely clear.

-Letter?

Now I know what you were at down in Hampshire.

It is from Steventon.

Is it true that you have practiced upon me with this chit?

I wished you to know the young lady. I wished to introduce her

-to your affections discreetly.

-Aye! Blind me with the rich widow,

and then insinuate that penniless little husband-hunter!

-Moderation, sir, I beg you!

-That ironical little authoress.

I wished you to know her for yourself.

I was certain her merit would speak for her.

-Consider, sir, my happiness is in your hands.

-Happiness?

Damn it, nephew, I had rather you were a whore-mongering blackguard

with a chance of reform

than a love-sick whelp sunk in a bad marriage.

My uncle has refused to give his consent.

-The letter has done its work.

-Who sent it?

Lady Gresham?

Or her nephew.

They think that they can do what they like with us,

-but I will not accept this.

-We have no choice.

Of course we do.

I...depend entirely upon...

Upon your uncle.

Mmm.

And I depend on you.

So what will you do?

What I must.

I have a duty to my family, Jane. I must think of them as well as...

Tom...

Is that... is that all you have to say to me?

Goodbye, Mr Lefroy.

The sentence of this court is that you be taken to the place

whence you came and thence to a place of execution

and that you be there hanged by the neck until you are dead.

May the Lord have mercy on your soul.

Next.

GAVEL CLANGS

He has behaved so ill to you, Jane.

Perhaps soon we can return home to Steventon.

Is there any news of Robert?

-He has arrived in San Domingo at last.

-Good. Good.

Good.

-LAUGHTER

-Glass of wine with you, sir?

Yes.

Yes, a toast from one member of the profession to another.

I'm sorry to have been so disobliging in the past.

Mr Wisley?

So, the infamous Mrs Radcliffe.

Was she really as gothic as her novels?

Not in externals,

but her inner landscape is quite picturesque, I suspect.

True of us all.

WHISPERING

THUNDER RUMBLES

WHISPERS

Oh.

-There's a message for Reverend Austen.

-Thank you.

Uncle?

What is it?

SOBS

GASPS AND SOBS

It seemed he died very soon after landing in San Domingo.

My God, he was hardly there.

What was the disease?

Yellow fever. Lord Craven, he wrote.

He said that if he had known he was engaged to be married,

he would never have taken him.

Jane, there's something else.

Mr Lefroy, Tom.

What?

I would keep this from you if I could.

He's here visiting Mrs Lefroy and I...

He is engaged.

So soon?

A letter?

Um, no.

No, it's something I began in London.

It is the tale of a young woman. Two young women.

Better than their circumstances.

So many are.

And two young gentlemen who receive much better than their desserts as so very many do.

Mmm.

How does the story begin?

-Badly.

-And then?

-It gets worse.

With, I hope, some humour.

How does it end?

They both make triumphant, happy endings.

Brilliant marriages?

Incandescent marriages to very rich men.

CHUCKLES

You asked me a question.

I am ready to give you an answer.

But there is one matter to be settled.

I cannot make you out, Mr Wisley.

At times, you are the most gentlemanlike man I know,

and yet you would...

Yet. What a sad word.

And yet...you write yourself most tellingly to great effect.

-I'm speaking, of course, of your letter.

-What letter?

Was your aunt the correspondent on your behalf?

What matter.

-Um...

-One way or another, passion makes fools of us all.

I hope, in time, passion may regain your better opinion.

The emotion is absurd.

When you consider the sex to whom it is often directed,

indistinguishable from folly.

I thank you for the honour of your proposal. I accept. Good day.

BIRDS SQUAWK

George, George.

Mr Wisley is... He's an honourable man.

You'll always have a place with me.

Miss Austen.

Mr Lefroy.

Sir.

I believe I must congratulate you, Mr Lefroy.

And you've come to visit an old friend at such a time.

How considerate.

I have come...

to offer an explanation, belatedly...

..for my conduct. I cannot think how to describe it.

Tell me about your lady, Mr Lefroy.

From where does she come?

She's from County Wexford.

Your own country. Excellent.

What was it that won her? Your manner, smiles and pleasing address?

No, no, not at all.

No, had I really experienced that emotion,

I should, at present, detest the very sight of him.

And you are mistaken.

I'm even impartial towards the gloriously endowed Miss Wexford...

I cannot do this.

And so you would marry Wisley?

Please?

If there is a shred of truth or justice inside of you,

-you cannot marry him.

-Oh, no, Mr Lefroy.

Justice, by your own admission, you know little of, truth even less.

Jane, I have tried. I have tried and I cannot live this lie.

Can you?

Jane, can you?

What value will there be in life if we are not together?

Run away with me.

An elopement?

That is exactly what I propose.

We'll post to London, by Friday be in Scotland, and man and wife.

-Leave everything?

-Everything.

It is the only way we can be together.

You'll lose everything.

Family, place. For what?

A lifetime of drudgery on a pittance?

A child every year and no means to lighten the load?

-How will you write, Jane?

-I do not know.

But happiness is within my grasp and I cannot help myself.

There is no sense in this.

If you could have your Robert back,

even like this, would you do it?

Oh...

-Please conceal my departure as long as possible.

-Wait.

Here.

Take these. Now go, quickly.

CLASSICAL MUSIC

< ROOSTER CROWS

Come. If we hurry, we can still make the morning coach.

You are sure?

Be careful.

-Is it coming?

-Not yet.

Take my hand. All right?

Hurry. I can hear it approaching.

Here it is.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Two to London. We'll settle at first rest.

-Yes?

-Right you are, sir.

Hampshire, your home county.

It was.

BOTH LAUGH

RUMBLING

Stuck. Everybody out, ladies and gentlemen, please.

-We need to lighten the load.

-No, let me, let me.

I shall require you gentlemen to give me a hand,

put your shoulders into it.

Now, sir, if you can push on the coach itself.

Excuse me, sir. Young gentleman?

-Yes, yes.

-You on the other side, sir, thank you.

-Young gentleman, please come along.

-All right.

Mind helping us? Thank you.

Right, all together now then, sirs, please?

MEN GRUNT

-One, two and a three and push!

-MEN GRUNT

Go, gentlemen. Come on.

'"Dear Tom. How timely was the arrival of the money you sent."'

One, two and three!

'"It was so very much appreciated by your father and I.

'"You're so kind to share your uncle's allowance.

'"Indeed, I do not dare think how we would survive without it."'

MEN GRUNT

Well done. Well done. Thank you, sirs.

All right, ladies and gentlemen,

back on the coach as soon as you can, thank you.

We are ready.

-Worried?

-No.

-Is it the loss of your reputation?

-No.

-The loss of yours.

-I do not...

-Please, sir, come along.

The coach is departing.

Come.

DOGS BARK

Changing horses. 20 minutes only.

House of office at the back of the inn. All down, quick as you like.

How many brothers and sisters do you have in Limerick, Tom?

Enough. Why?

What are the names of your brothers and sisters?

They...

On whom do they depend?

SIGHS Your reputation is destroyed.

Your profligacy is a beautiful sham.

-I can earn money.

-It will not be enough.

I will rise.

With a High Court Judge as your enemy? And a penniless wife?

God knows how many mouths depending on you?

My sweet, sweet friend, you will sink, and we will all sink with you.

-I will...

-<

-Hampshire Flyer.

-<

-Hampshire Flyer's leaving in five minutes.

No! No, Jane.

I will never give you up.

-Tom...

-Don't speak or think...

Just love me. Do you love me?

Yes. CHUCKLES

But if our love destroys your family, it will destroy itself.

-No.

-Yes.

In a long, slow degradation of guilt and regret and blame.

That is nonsense.

Truth.

Made from a contradiction.

But it must come with a smile.

Or else I shall count it as false and we shall have had no love at all.

Please.

Goodbye.

Typical bloody runaway. Will I, won't I?

Miss. Miss.

All right, off you go.

CLOCK TICKS

Hello?

-Where is everyone?

-Looking for you, Miss. Looking everywhere.

-Thank you, Jenny.

-Mr Warren.

Your family tried to keep the matter from the servants, but, er...

Where is that blackguard Lefroy? If Henry finds him, he'll kill him!

He won't find him.

And if he does, he won't kill him.

There is no need.

-SIGHS

-What, er...

happened?

Nothing happened.

I see.

I see.

Jane...

STAMMERS NERVOUSLY

I may have less personal charm than Lefroy,

superficial charm to some eyes,

to others, it is mere affectation, but I...

-I have no hopes...

-Hopes?

Oh, you cannot begin to imagine...

John, thank you for the great honour of your offer, but...

Are there no other women in Hampshire?!

SIGHS

It was you who wrote the judge.

You must consider how much I've always loved you.

PIANO PLAYS SOFTLY

PLAYS MOURNFUL TUNE

Well?

You came back to us.

Leave it.

Mr Austen, I must inform you that I shall not attend service today.

-Not in the presence of this young woman.

-Indeed.

-If I must speak plainly...

-Aunt.

I believe your youngest daughter has been on a journey?

Your ladyship considers travel a crime?

Unsanctioned travel.

Furthermore, be aware that my nephew has withdrawn his addresses

to someone without family, fortune,

importance,

and fatally tainted by suspicion.

Oh, she has family, madam.

Indeed she has.

Importance may depend upon other matters

than your Ladyship can conceive.

As to fortune, a young woman might depend upon herself.

An interesting notion, Miss Austen.

Oblige me a walk along the river to enlarge upon the topic.

Wisley!

I am sorry if my conduct...

has disappointed you, Mr Wisley.

It seems you cannot bring yourself to marry without affection.

Or even with it.

I respect you for that...

and share your opinion. Neither can I.

I'd always hoped to win your love in time.

But I am vain enough to want to be loved myself, rather than my money.

Do we part as friends?

We do.

-So, you will live...

-By my pen. Yes.

Will all your stories have happy endings?

My characters will have, after a little bit of trouble...

..all that they desire.

The good do not always come to good end.

It is a truth universally acknowledged.

"..that a single man in possession of a good fortune

"must be in want of a wife." CHURCH BELLS RING

Henry!

"However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be

"on his first entering a neighbourhood,

"this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families..."

CHEERING

"..that he is considered as the rightful property

"of someone or other of their daughters.

"'My dear Mr Bennet,' said his lady to him one day,

"'have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?'

"Mr Bennet replied that he had not..."

MUSIC: "Deh Vieni Non Tardar" from Mozart's The Marriage of Figaro

APPLAUSE

Is it Miss Austen? THE Miss Austen?

No, madam. That courtesy, according to the customs of precedence,

belongs to my elder sister.

Miss Jane Austen, the authoress of Pride and Prejudice?

My sister wishes to remain anonymous,

-but your kind regards are much appreciated.

-Thank you.

Please, come through.

I shall never forgive Henry for this.

Yes, you will. We always forgive him for everything.

Best behaviour.

Jane...an old friend.

Late as ever.

Madam le Comtesse, Miss Austen.

Mr Lefroy.

Please allow me to introduce to you your most avid of admirers,

my daughter, Miss Lefroy.

Miss Austen, what a pleasure to meet you.

Will you read for us this evening?

Well, you see, my sister never reads.

Otherwise, how else is she supposed to remain anonymous?

-But...

-Jane!

I will make an exception.

If my new friend wishes it.

Come sit by me.

She is lovely, Tom.

"She began now to comprehend that

"he was exactly the man who, in disposition and talents,

"would most suit her.

"His understanding and temper, though unlike her own,

"would have answered all her wishes.

"It was an union that must have been to the advantage of both.

"By her ease and liveliness, his mind might have been softened,

"his manners improved,

"and from his judgment, information and knowledge of the world,

"she must have received benefit of greater importance.

"But no such happy marriage could now teach the admiring multitude what...

"connubial felicity really was."

APPLAUSE

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