Two for the Money

THIS FILM CONTAINS VERY STRONG LANGUAGE.

'That's me.'

'That's my dad.'

'I remember that day.

'And, believe it or not, I remember that hit.'

'I remember it because of the smile that spread over my dad's face.'

'Yeah, I'd have stood there all day just to sink one,

'just to see that smile.'

'You see, to Pop, sports were a religion.

'To me, it was about purity.

'Sports was a place where all wrongs could be made right.

'I thought if I filled the whole house with trophies for him,

'he'd stick around. Well, I did.'

'He left before my tenth birthday.'

'"The conference championship has come down to this final play.'

'"The Sun Devils trail by four. Seven seconds left on the clock.'

Settle it down. Go right, tiger. This is your game!

Let's go get 'em. Let's go!

-TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT:

-'..ten yards to go.'

Here we go, men, last play. Fun time!

Go right, tiger. Right check. 532 double fly on two, Scotty.

Guaranteed TD. We've got to worry about one thing, men -

after we win this game, they'll put cameras in your faces.

Don't be giving any, "Hi, Mom"s. It's overused.

If you've got to thank somebody, thank me.

-See you in the end zone, men. Ready?

-Ready!

'I'd been a quarterback since pee-wee football,

'set high school records, won state championships.'

'This was perfect.' Coming at you, 57.

'Ball game, national TV, pro scouts in the stands.'

'I knew exactly what was gonna happen next.'

COMMENTATOR: 'Lang has led the Sun Devils to four 4th quarter comebacks this season.

'Can he do it - win their first bowl game in 12 years?

'Lang barks out the signals. The Aztecs have eight in the box.

'Lang takes the stamp. He's going around on the right side.

'Lang's in trouble. He's shaken Shoven off.

'He's looking to throw. Two seconds to go.

'He's gonna run it. He's got to get it in the end zone.

'Can he make it?'

'Touchdown!'

'My first thought was I could tape it and play next week.'

'Then I puked.'

-When can I play again, Doc? What's the rehab time?

-I'm not sure, son.

HE GROANS

'Football wasn't a sport. It was my life.'

'I wasn't going to give up. No. I would play again.

'In the meantime, I needed a job to hold me over between try-outs.

'Then one day, and it didn't take long,

'six years had passed and I woke up at the bottom.'

You have reached the Jessica Simpson hotline.

Jessica's gonna tell you about Nick's surprise birthday party

and more about her rocking new panty line at Wal-Mart.

First, here's a little fan trivia to win a VIP gold package backstage pass

-to Jessica's Omnicon Hotel Summer Tour.

-Lang.

-I'm in the middle of taping, boss.

-I've got a job for you.

-I can't update Bauer's betting line. Know anything about sports?

-Yeah.

'900 numbers, Audio-Text, the racket had a lot of names.'

'This guy's gig was sports handicapping -

'predicting winners for people who bet.'

'I was supposed to just record his picks.

'Thing was I didn't agree with him.'

No, they're not.

'In Vegas, it's easy to gauge the temperature of the betting public.

'The problem with the betting public is they're usually wrong.'

-What's up, Stu?

-Hey.

-What's all the action this weekend?

-Tampa-Oakland. Everyone's jumping on Oakland.

-Oh, that's crazy.

-You think?

-Yeah, man, that game's gonna be won by coaching.

Gruden put that Oakland team together before he came to Tampa.

He knows every strength and weakness.

Brown catches to the left so he'll have him double-teamed to the right.

Gannon throws on a three-step drop

so he'll stack the middle of the field.

-Gannon's gonna throw three, maybe four NTs.

-Fuck, man!

-You took Oak?

-What do you think, man?

I think I've got to save your ass one more time.

Take Tampa Bay, money line. They're gonna win this game outright.

-Bet 'em big.

-Thanks.

'Stu did bet 'em big and he won 10 grand.'

'I was quickly becoming the biggest 900 line in Vegas.'

Kansas City is 7-1 against point spread v division opponents.

Take KC minus the six.

Call me tomorrow for my pro football game of the year.

That's here at 900-656-3100.

Until then, this is Brandon Lang saying good night and good gambling.

-Big plans this weekend?

-There you go.

Steve...

I went 9 and 2 on Sunday and hit my third straight Monday-night parlay.

-It's worth 12 bucks an hour.

-Hey, I don't make 12 an hour.

You're not picking 75 percent.

If you're that good, bet your own games, get rich.

Send me a postcard from the Riviera.

-What's going on, Denny?

-Hey, man. What's up?

Big bro's making them greenbacks. How about you, bro?

I scrounged up some old headers, B. Check it out. Fire it up.

All right, man, here it goes.

-ENGINE REVS

-HE HOWLS

Jeez, I'm late.

Dinner's in the oven. Where the hell's my lucky crucifix?

Oh, the mail came and there's a letter for you from Chicago.

You just went there for your tryout last week.

'Another rejection letter - "Strength of your knee in question."'

'I only had two arena teams left,

'and, well, after that, there was always the CFL.'

# You can't save me

# You can't change me

# Well, I'm waiting for my wake-up call

# And everything, everything's my fault

Whoa! So, what do you think?

Should I ride shotgun or do you want to hop on the handlebars?

The packaging's not that great but there's a prize on the inside

What do you say?

No? Oh, that's OK.

You'll be back. I'll have a life.

# Well, I'm waiting for my wake-up call

# And everything's my fault #

Good morning, Mary. PHONE RINGS

-This is Brandon.

-'Congratulations, you went nine and two last Sunday.

'This is Walter Abrams. I run the country's biggest sports service.

'I'm a big fan of yours, Brandon.

'As a matter of fact, I have a poster of you on my wall.'

-This is a joke, right?

-'No, this is not a joke. This is a job offer.

'In your top drawer... Go ahead, open it up.

'..there's an envelope with your name on it.

'That's travel cash and an airline ticket. It's not a magic trick.

'I paid someone to put it there.

'He told me that the place you're in reminded him of a Turkish prison.

'All I'm asking you to do is come up with a number.

'Write down the number of what you make now. Cross it out.

'Write what you should be making.

'Toss in how much it's gonna take to get you to fly to New York first class

'and come work for me.

'Now, focus, Brandon, focus.

'With your bum knee, a comeback is just a dream. My offer is real.

'Run the numbers. Do the math.'

-PHONE RINGS

-'Hold on a second.'

'With Mom holding two jobs and Denny wanting to go to college,

'this looked like a chance to make some real money.

'Besides, I'd never seen New York and New York had never seen me.'

Oh, goodness! All right.

So, what's this guy Walter like? How long have you been working for him?

A long time.

-Two weeks!

-HE LAUGHS

Two weeks.

-Every day with Walter's an adventure.

-HE LAUGHS

# Super cool, super mean

# Feelin' good for the man, superfly, here I stand

# Secret stash, heavy bread, baddest bitches in the bed

# I'm your pusherman

# I'm your pusherman. #

That's OK.

All right, double it. Triple it.

No, everything's about money.

Listen, this Sunday my little girl, an angel, turns six.

This is not likely to happen again.

She loves elephants. Your circus has ten. I only need one.

Now, my little girl's happiness is in your hands.

I don't need parenting advice from a guy who doubles as a clown.

I need a fucking elephant. Now, I'm willing to pay.

What'll it take to get one here this weekend?

Hello?

Fuck wad!

Find Ringling Brothers. Get someone who understands profit. Whoa!

-Brandon Lang.

-The Marlboro man.

-Nice to meet you.

-You're in great shape.

-I've been in better.

-You're modest, too.

Modesty - not a virtue. Could be vice. Sit down.

There are rules to success, my friend.

Rule number one is know what you know, know what you don't know

and I've gotta know everything you know as soon as you know it.

-Sooner.

-Yes, sir.

-Did you ever sell before?

-No.

-Are you religious?

-I believe in God.

Hey, Liz, this is me 30 years ago.

It's remarkable the resemblance.

-Yeah.

-He's a little taller. I'll give him that.

Oh, boy, I'm not supposed to do this. It's bad for my condition.

Nobody knows this, Liz. OK?

So before I die...

Did you do anything other than sports phone in Vegas?

Just the 900 recordings, you know. Ten bucks a call.

That's chump change. We're going after much bigger fish here.

Networks don't talk about it. Government can't tax it.

-But sports betting is a 200 billion a year business.

-Oh.

Yeah. Lot of gamblers out there, man, and they have needs.

Come Monday morning after a losing weekend, they've got big needs.

Gargantuan.

See that? That's every football game played last Sunday.

Do you know why Monday night football is the most watched?

Monday's the last chance betters have to climb out of the hole

they got themselves in in order to pay their bookies on Tuesday.

Sports betting's illegal 49 states, including this one,

but what we do is not.

We are 100 percent legal, like stockbrokers.

Only instead of touting stocks, we advise people on how to bet.

Now, if a client wins by taking our advice, we get a percentage,

what we ask for, which they will gladly give us

because they wanna keep getting the advice.

But if they lose, we get zip.

So the object here, my dear, tall, athletic, religious friend

-is to win.

-I can do that.

-TV:

-"Hello, this is Walter Abrams."

Hello, Walter! That's my cable show.

'Now after a nice five day vacation on my yacht...'

Airs Saturday and Sunday morning nationwide.

We tape Thursday and Friday... What's going on with my hair?

He did it again, Liz!

I got one part of my head in Cleveland, the other's in Chicago!

What are we gonna do with this guy? My barber, he should be shot.

'For the first time in the history of this company,

'I'm going to release three team college and pro parlays free.'

If all the picks are free... how do you get the yacht?

There's no yacht. Next question?

Why give any picks for free? Why not charge a fee up front initially?

-You make a good point. Next?

-What's on the second floor?

-That's where we print the money.

-HE LAUGHS

-Anything else?

-Oh, of course not.

No, I think I've got it. Everything's crystal clear, Walter.

I like you, you know that. You and me, this thing's gonna work.

-I'm looking forward to it.

-Me, too.

-Ringling Brothers on one.

-Tell them to hold their elephant!

Did you ever have a manicure? There's a girl you've got to meet.

-Yeah, what's she like?

-She's beautiful.

You're gonna like her. Is this Barnum or Bailey?

-He's all yours.

-Brandon?

Yeah.

-Hi, I'm Toni.

-Nice to meet you.

-Walter said you'd stop by.

-This was his idea.

-Yeah, I know.

-Does he make all of his employees do this?

-Yeah, every one.

-How often?

-Once before they start work.

Weird.

-You think?

-I never had my nails done before.

I can see that but you've got strong hands. That's nice.

-Do you drink?

-Excuse me?

-Alcohol. Are you a drinker?

-I have a beer every once in a while.

-Smoke?

-No.

-What about gambling?

-What about it?

I'm sorry I'm just a little bit pressed for time.

-I asked do you bet? Are you a better?

-No.

Really? Why not?

Toni, huh?

Are you here full-time?

-Yeah. This is my shop.

-All right.

-So, why don't you gamble?

Well, I did once. I wagered everything I had and I lost.

So?

I swore I'd never do it again.

-And you're sticking to that story?

-Oh, yeah.

I'm not gonna start this relationship off by lying, Toni.

Good. Walter could use someone with a little resolve in his life.

Hey, Toni, would you have dinner with me tonight?

-What do you say?

-He didn't tell you.

-Tell me, what?

-Brandon, Walter and I are married.

-Ooh. Ooh, bogey.

-It's OK.

-Wait, wait, wait, listen to me.

-He told me I was coming to meet a nice lady.

-I'm sure he did.

I'm gonna kill him when I get home. He has a bright beautiful spirit.

You will love working for him. But he's held together by meetings.

If it has anonymous at the end, he goes. He has to.

He has to be careful who he lets into his life.

Most ways, Walter's brilliant but he can be bullshitted and I can't.

-So he sends them to me before he hires them.

-This is my interview?

-Oh, you're swift.

-How did I do?

-Except the illegal forward pass,

-I'd say perfect.

-Thank you very much.

1-800-238-6648.

1-800 bet on it absolutely free.

'This is the first floor and it's all yours.'

The TV's satellite and it swivels.

Your bedroom.

You've got a Jacuzzi in there the size of a kiddie pool.

You know what this is.

-It looks like weights to me.

-Yeah, baby.

I'll put your copy here... and your desk.

Walter, this is sweet as.

-Man's chair.

-This is what I'm talking about.

I'll start you on the 900 numbers, the same gig you had in Vegas.

You make your picks, record 'em Monday through Friday once a day.

Five times a day on a weekend.

Each call's worth 25 a shot.

We're doing about three dozen hits a week. That's nothing.

We should triple that. Before you get into your test copy,

I've got a few words for you. Your pitch sucks.

No offence. But you've got potential.

-So we've got to find a way to bust you out.

-Bust me out?

-Yeah.

We're gonna start by giving you a new name.

John Anthony. It just came to me.

John Anthony, The Million Dollar Man.

-What's wrong with Brandon Lang?

-Nothing's wrong with Brandon Lang.

It's just he's still living with his Mommy. John Anthony's living large.

He don't hold back. He's got a direct line to God.

For a measly 25 a call, you can let the world's losers listen in.

Hello, sports fans. This is John Anthony in the Big Apple

with my big money picks. The action starts Saturday with College Ball.

Our first match-up is Michigan against Indiana.

-AUDIO STOPS

-I already hung up.

John Anthony here ready to make all your betting dreams come true.

That's right. Call me right now and let me win for you.

"The points spread in the Indiana-Michigan game..."

-I think it's all right.

-Wrong!

-OK, what's your sales pitch?

-I'm picking 80 percent winners.

Stats is not enough, I'm telling you.

You need a voice! These are gamblers,

ready to risk what they can't afford for what they can't have.

You're selling the world's rarest commodity. You're selling certainty

in an uncertain world.

Ha-haaaa!

John Anthony here, the Million Dollar Man.

From Wall Street to Tokyo to Hollywood.

All your big money stays and plays with me.

'Sit back and relax cos it's a Scud attack this weekend

'and I am shelling your bookmaker.'

Cuts to the right... Going in, Liz. Going in!

-That's it.

-Huh?

It's a start.

-It's a start?

-What can I tell you?

That's not what you want?

Then, you need to find somebody else to sell and let me just pick.

It's not about what I want.

It's about what Brandon wants.

If I hear that, I'm calling this number.

Easy.

What is it?

Should I call somebody?

Not unless they've got a spare heart.

Shh.

-HE SIGHS

-That's a small one.

It's a teeny one.

-Do you want some water?

-I'm gonna be all right.

Oh, I know what I want.

I know what I want.

Be a good boy and give me a light.

What are you doing?

Courage wants to laugh.

-COMMENTATOR:

-'..looks right, throws.

'He's got it in. Phillips in for the touchdown!'

'..that does not give up the big plays...'

'..over West Virginia.

'Pittsburgh, on a 47-yard field goal,

'by Dana Mackey leads Virginia 10-7.

'North Carolina and Florida are scoreless.

'25th ranked Kansas trails Mississippi 7-3.

'We'll be back with more scores...'

'Back to the one-yard line...

'..will go against Utah again.

'Let's go to our studios for an update on today's college football.'

Brandon! >

-How we doing?

-ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

-Down here.

-'..Michigan just put the hammer to Illinois, 44-12.

'Florida no problem beating North Carolina 42-7,

'while Northern Washington upset Iowa State 28-21.

'Pennsylvania manhandled Kentucky 31-3.'

Bullshit!

'..with a 17-7 win at Idaho.'

'This just in - Arizona is hot.'

-HE YELLS

-All right! All right!

-HE LAUGHS

-This guy is a machine.

All he does is work out and pick winners.

Talk about fit. You should see him with his shirt off.

-HE CHUCKLES

-Really, I did.

-A serious side of beef.

-Enjoy your daughter's birthday.

What do you mean? You should check him out.

-I know you want to.

-Walter!

Get out of your head. It's a bad neighbourhood.

'Touchdown!'

-I'm gonna have the

-brusc-hetta

-here and this right here.

And may I say, sir, an excellent choice.

Er, I think it's pronounced bruschetta.

Bruschetta. They're little pizzas, except they don't have cheese.

-Bruschetta.

-Perfect.

Who cares! Anyone who goes 20 for 24 college football,

12 for 14 professional, 175 calls on the 900 number....

You can call bruschetta anything you want, son.

-Have you ever had a 1,000 bottle of wine?

-No.

-Steward!

Walter, it's a waste. He hardly drinks.

-It's a celebration. Steward!

-No, I'm good, man.

Just cos we're reformed drunks doesn't mean he can't enjoy himself.

I was a lot of things, Walter. I was never a drunk.

Actually, the truth be told, I've never had a 12 bottle of water.

-He thinks we're fighting.

-Yeah, he does.

-No, I don't.

This is great, all of this. Thank you, Walter, Toni.

Watch out, Walter, he's a fixer.

-I should've ordered two.

-What did the doctor say, Walter?

If you really want to know, I've been meaning to tell you.

I went yesterday and he seemed very concerned.

Afterwards he sat me down and looked into my eyes and he said,

"Walter, who do you like in the Buffalo-Oakland game?"

HE LAUGHS

-You tell him Buffalo?

-Shit, Walter.

It wasn't funny.

You didn't know I was joking? It's a joke. Jokes are funny.

Wow, what a meal. You haven't touched your sauce.

It's chocolate. It's good for you.

-I'm not raising a kid alone.

-Don't be dramatic.

In biblical times, you'd just move in with my brother.

Oh, look at that.

Beauty and the beasts.

-What do you think?

-I like her, man. I think she's extremely cute.

Brandon, she's looking at you.

Yeah, but so are those two guys she's with.

I tell you what. I'll bet you ten to one on a thousand

you can't pick her up.

That's 10,000 cash if you leave this restaurant with that girl.

Better idea - we go to Atlantic City and open a house account(?)

-You know you can't gamble, Walter.

-Who's gambling?

I haven't flipped a coin since the '80s. This is just a challenge.

A challenge?

10,000 to one, cash?

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna go introduce myself.

-Before you make your move, sit.

-Where are you going?

No problem. You sit here. Rest yourself.

Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt but I've just got to know this.

We're sitting over there. I'm just thinking you are drop-dead gorgeous.

Your dates look like they haven't missed a meal since Christ died.

You guys are eating like you've got a date with the electric chair...

No, no, no. It's all over. Sit, sit, sit. Just joking.

-Sorry, I don't want to get wounded with a fork.

-Jerk.

-Moron!

-I'm gone. Thank you very much.

-What the hell was that?

-It went too far.

-I'll buy 'em a bottle of champagne.

-You'll pick up their cheque.

The voice of reason. Thank you.

Oh-oh!

Your date's going to the bathroom.

I don't think that helped me out too much. Do you?

-Well...

-But, hey, thanks for the introduction.

I was just raising the bar a little.

John Anthony could close her.

-You are beautiful.

-Excuse me.

Hang on a second. I want to get to know you.

You just want to get in my pants.

No, no, no, no, no. I want to get in your mind and you heart and soul.

I don't see you wearing any pants in that equation.

Do you?

Let me ask you something...

'OK, forget the 900 numbers. Now you're ready. We're moving up.'

We're going to the second floor. This is where we print the money.

Put your ear to the door.

Wow!

That's the sound of possibilities.

This is where the sales people turn a 10 better

into a 1,000 better before he knows he made the phone call.

Do they use Astroturf or Astroclay?

Tammy, give it up, baby. You know what I need.

-Sure do.

-Tammy, this is Brandon.

This is our phone sheet, the losers who need us.

The more they bet, the more we win.

We take 10 percent of a winning bet, anywhere from 500 to 500,000.

-That's Southie.

-Let's make some serious money.

What's the game plan?

Bribe a security guard. Bang a cheerleader, extract the info.

Well, it was a substantial sum.

Walter, he's a little miffed at our picks.

-Just do what you got to do.

-The minimum bet is five grand.

-Reggie Hawks.

-Can you move 50 large?

-Best salesman ever. Ever.

I don't have time for this kind of shit, Jimmy. I know you're a loser.

If you were such a big winner, you wouldn't call me.

< You got your head out of your ass yet? Congratulations.

Is this my office?

-Well, do you like it?

-What's not to like, Walter? Thank you.

-Miami New York point spread just went up to ten.

-What do you think?

Miami is a lock. I'm gonna keep it on my sheet.

This is Jerry, my top handicapper.

-Came to me straight out of grad school.

-Oh.

Phone boy makes good. Make sure you don't get a nosebleed up here.

I'm just kidding. Nice meeting you. Gotta get to work.

Nice meeting you too. Say, by the way, tonight's game...

New York wins that outright.

-Really?

-They always play the Fish tough and tonight it's foregone.

I wish I had a pen because I would never write that down.

-HE LAUGHS

-College is right for you.

You have to work your way up to pro ball.

Rookie's got balls. I almost like it but I don't.

-Good luck.

-I get that all day.

You know, I got three guys who can pick games, I got 20 who can sell.

I never had one who could do both.

-What, you mean me?

-No, not you.

-I'm talking about John Anthony.

-John Anthony doesn't exist.

Oh, well, I'm shocked because I'm standing in his office

and you're sitting in his chair.

So, you want me to sell like those guys out there?

Yes. Big betters don't want to talk to middle men.

They wanna talk to the guy giving them the picks. Got a problem?

-No, I don't have a...

-There's a few choice phrases we use.

Start with those. Here's an easy one...

I don't want your money. I want your bookie's fucking money.

-Give it back to me.

-I don't want your money.

I want your bookie's money.

-Oh...

-I don't want your money.

-I want your bookie's money.

-That's not bad.

-What happened to fuck?

-What about it?

-I said it. You don't use it.

-Nah.

-Religious thing?

-No, it's not a religious thing.

It was all right for Chaucer 600 years ago.

Hey! I don't wanna embarrass you but I've got to do this.

I've got someone here who has a problem saying fuck.

ALL: Fuck you!

-Look at that, a lot of brunettes.

-They're all over the place.

-Where are we headed?

-We're going to continue your education.

KNOCK AT DOOR

-Oh, hi, is this the meeting?

-Yes, yes, come on in.

-Thanks.

You'd think with two mortgages out, the repo guy staking out my car,

my job on the line, my wife threatening to leave

that I'd stop instead of staying in the chase.

It's a disease, Leon.

Yeah, man. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

I guess I must be doing pretty good cos I've got one big problem!

-Don't worry about it.

-OK, Leon.

-APPLAUSE

My name is Walter and I'm new to this group.

But I'm certainly not new to these meetings. I've been coming 18 years.

As a matter of fact, friends, this is my 936 consecutive meeting.

APPLAUSE

-Well done.

-Well done is right.

And in all that time, I haven't once been to a track

or a casino or bet on a game. Hand of God. Not a cent.

So I know where you're coming from, Leon.

I heard your story and it's something I relate to.

But I've got to say if I learned anything,

-it's that gambling is not your problem.

-It's not.

-Not even close.

I don't know how to say this without sounding a little rude.

you're a lemon, Leon.

Like a bad car, there is something inherently defective in you.

In you and you and me and all of us in this room.

We're all lemons. We look like everybody else

but what makes us different is our defect.

You see, most gamblers when they go to gamble, they go to win.

When we go to gamble, we go to lose subconsciously.

Me, I never feel better or more alive

than when they're raking the chips away.

Everybody here knows what I'm talking about.

Even when we win, it's just a matter of time before we give it all back.

But when we lose, now, there's another story.

And I'm talking about the kind of loss

that makes your asshole pucker up to the size of a decimal point.

You've just recreated the worst possible nightmare

this side of malignant cancer for the 20th goddamn time

and you're standing there and you suddenly realise,

"Hey, I'm still here."

"I'm still breathing. I'm still alive."

Us lemons, we fuck shit up all the time on purpose

because we constantly need to remind ourselves we're alive.

Leon, gambling's not your problem.

It's this fucked-up need to feel something,

to convince yourself you exist.

That's the problem.

HE CHUCKLES SLOW APPLAUSE

Hey, you're the guy I see on TV every weekend selling betting picks.

-So, what?

-He's right. This guy peddles a tout service on TV.

Did you read the charter, buddy? We all left our jobs at the door.

You're gonna throw an ex-bar tender alcoholic out of an AA meeting?

-What?

-You're gonna do that? That's bogus.

-Didn't you come in with this jerk?

-I don't like the feeling I'm getting.

If you rethink things, here's my card.

We're topping 80 percent this season.

-You never know when you'll relapse.

-Get out!

What the fuck was that?

-What did you just say?

-That was bullshit.

-You gave your business card to a guy.

-No, you said fuck!

-So, what?

-Brandon. So, what? That's great, man!

It was all worth it just for one word.

From the one word, "fuck", I could feel your frustration, your anger.

Man, I'm proud of you.

PHONES RING CHATTERING

His name is Amir. He's a dime better.

Owns a dry cleaners. We've got him for the subscription.

-Amir...

-He's on line one. Ding-ding!

Whoa!

-Good morning.

-Walter wanted your first call to be special.

-OK, go get 'em, tiger.

-You got it.

Ooh.

Me, me, me, me. Yow, yow, yow!

Mmm-hmm. Amir, my man, John Anthony here.

-Yes, hello.

-"Yes, hello to you, sir. How's your morning going?"

Mine's been outstanding but not as outstanding as my weekend will be.

Billy, listen. Thanks for the 15,000 FedEx.

It's called a three-team parlay. It pays six to one.

How much can you lay, 20 grand?

Are you crazy?

No way. Listen, I was betting a thousand a game.

I've got a game that I'm calling my lock of the decade - Texas v OU.

Now, Texas is receiving six points in this game.

-They're gonna win it by two touchdowns.

-Really?

I like Oklahoma in that game.

-You do?

-'I shouldn't have called. Thank you for your time.'

Hold on. I've got Vegas on the line.

When we get our 30 grand from last night, then I tell you who he likes.

The only thing you gotta know is all our clients are in a hole.

The second they pick up the phone, you got 'em.

Green Bay, Dallas, Cleveland. 100,000 across the board.

Get to the point - you're above them.

Let them know it. Let them feel it. More John Anthony.

I'm here. What's your favourite drink, my man?

'Favourite drink?'

-I don't know. Pina colada.

-'Whoa.'

Well, tomorrow we've got to get you a new drink, my man.

But today here's what you're gonna do.

You're gonna go down to your bookie, lay 20 large on Texas.

Then you're gonna go home, put on your favourite Hawaiian shirt.

Sit back, twirl your little umbrella

after you've made that little rum concoction that you love so much.

And you're gonna watch Texas rip those Oakies a new asshole.

'After you win the 20 grand, you're gonna call me back.'

'You're gonna tell me, 'Thank you, sir. May I have another?''

O'Neil lost his dog to last week to a hunting accident.

You don't mess with a man who just lost his dog.

Western Union me ten thou and let's ride this wave into Sunday.

Denny, boy! I've got something good for this weekend.

Green Bay against Minnesota. I want you to lay 500 on the Cheeseheads.

Let Stu in on that too and take care of Mama. Tammy, who's on four?

Forget the other games you wanted to bet.

Let's throw that 4,000 on this 1,000 and make it 5,000,

take it money line and turn it into 12,000.

John Anthony here.

-TV:

-'Hello, everybody and welcome to Football Tonight.'

COMMENTARY CONTINUES

-'Touchdown!'

-Yes!

HE WHEEZES

HE COUGHS

OK. No, that sounds good. Monday...

-Go, Daddy, go! Can't you go any faster?

-Hey!

Ten and two, pro football?

85-percent weekend. You're a mutant!

I definitely want to be there with him. Put it on a plate.

Oh, my God. Thank you. You saved my life. That is beautiful.

-What... What's going on?

-Walter's doctor... This is good news.

..finally put him on an exercise programme. I want to be there

to make sure the trainer understands his aversion to consistency.

-Excuse me.

-Aversion to consistency?

Mmm-hmm. That's Walter. He's always been that way.

-Well, that's consistent.

-Well, that's true.

You are cute. Take a bite. Tell me what you think.

Life is fucking good.

So... let's talk about making it better.

Uh-oh. Duck, Brandon. Here it comes.

I'm thinking of putting John Anthony on TV this week.

If you do this, from here on out,

-you're gonna have to eat, sleep,

drink, breathe, talk, walk and fart John Anthony.

That's the way it is. There's no holding back.

You gotta be it completely or it doesn't work.

That's right. Just think it over.

-Don't decide now.

-It's the only move.

-If it means I've gotta act, I'm cool with that.

-No acting.

This is living. You didn't hear me.

From here on out, Brandon Lang and his fettuccine knee,

and his self-fucking-pity,

is as flat dead as Donald Trump's hair.

John I-Can-Walk-On-Fucking-Water Anthony has taken his place.

Listen to what he's asking you, Brandon.

I'm gonna build an empire around you.

It's gonna cost me. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Hell, yeah, I understand.

I'm John fucking Anthony. I've got a crystal ball.

# I am sitting on top of the world,

# Just rolling along... #

John Anthony breathes. Now we gotta get a walk and talk.

-I'm just asking.

-I'm looking for a car for my friend here.

-Let's see what we can do. What's his name?

-John Anthony.

-Mr Anthony.

-Yes, sir.

-Do you have any credit?

-No.

Of course not. I don't know, Wally, can you trust him?

-With my wife... naked.

-In that case, the floor is yours.

# ..Glory, hallelujah

# I just phoned the parson

# Hey, Pa, get ready to call

# Just like Humpty Dumpty

-# I'm about to fall... #

-Hey, what's "900 King"?

-That's me, John Anthony. I don't lose.

-Thank you.

I want you to meet Mr Miracle, John Anthony. There he is.

It's never ever gonna go down.

-# I am sitting on top of the world...

-Give me all you've got.

-# ..Singing a song. #

-I'm ready. I'm ready.

-A star is born today. How you doing?

-Scared shitless.

-You're sweating.

Don't worry. You've got the script. Just read off the Teleprompter.

You've been here before, kid. Remember football?

-No, this is different.

-How's this different?

-No opponent.

-Then, you're a lock to win.

-< Walter, we're ready.

You'll be OK. Remember, stay with the script.

45 seconds.

-That's a lifetime.

-For you, boss. This is for you.

-Tony, you good?

-Sound's good.

-Everybody, we're gonna go.

-John Anthony, huh?

-Yep.

All's I see is another wannabe in a thousand-dollar suit.

Keep the suit you came in with. All right, Jethro? Good luck to you.

In five, four...

I'll do that.

Welcome to this week's edition of Sports Advisors,

America's premier sports-information programme with myself Walter Abrams,

Jerry Sykes, Chuck Adler

and a truly gifted newcomer to the Sports Advisor panel.

I want you to meet a substantial find. His name is John Anthony.

OK, we're entering week six in professional football.

This is when the cream rises to the top. This is when things get hot.

This is oven-mitt time. Am I right? This is big-time ball season.

Let's get into it with The Wizard Of Odds, Jerry "The Source" Sykes.

Stats, records, rankings, weather...

If the goalpost is tilted just a little bit,

The SYKES system uses 42 proven indexes

to eliminate the guesswork in sports wagering.

Without my patented computer-based picks,

you got a better shot of having God show up at your door

with nine strippers, a bag of pure Bolivian cocaine,

enough Viagra to make Chuck's head blow up,

than picking these things on your own. Call me absolutely free.

I got five picks this weekend that are incredible.

1-800-238-6648. Give me a call.

How many gamblers did I bail out with my game of the year?

A 100-dollar better made 10,000.

A 500-dollar better made 50,000.

Well, I've got six games on Sunday that I'm releasing absolutely free.

These games are a burial, a blow-out, a human lock.

You can bet your children's unborn children's children

-on these six games ABSOLUTELY free!

-Whoa!

Whoa! I believe, I believe!

I believe you're trying to make me deaf.

I've never seen a colour like that. Would you say that's chartreuse?

Saturday comes before Sunday.

Looking at Saturday's college match-ups

is the last but certainly not least member of the sports advisors.

-Here he is, Mr John Anthony.

-Thank you, Walter. This is John Anthony,

the million-dollar man with the billion-dollar plan.

From Wall Street to Tokyo to Hollywood,

all your big money is gonna stay and play with me.

That's why they call me the million-dollar man.

The million-dollar man, the million-dollar man...

I can't say that, man.

-Uh...

-No, no.

Somebody wrote some very clever stuff for me here,

like the million-dollar man.

So let's just call me John. I played quarterback, division one.

Every QB knows that the secret, the key, to victory is anticipation.

The ability to see the future and react to it.

Now, that is what I do. And that is the truth.

So I'm not gonna sell you today, all right?

I'm just gonna tell you the facts.

For over one year, I have been picking 80% winners.

Unbelievable?

Used to be.

I know the leagues. I know the teams.

I know these players. I know this wonderful game called football.

Call the number on the bottom of your screen and ask for John.

Let's make some money.

HE COUGHS

HE WHEEZES

Walter.

I'm not here. Go back to sleep.

Walter, it's four in the morning, honey.

-What a show!

-Come to bed.

Man, you should have seen him.

I just sat there and watched him roll.

I swear he made me want to pick up a phone and call.

I took the sales boys out to get them primed for the weekend

and Chuck got so drunk he took a swing

at one of the deer heads on the wall.

-HE CHUCKLES

-I don't know what we're gonna do.

I'm gonna hire more guys on Monday. I got to.

-I gotta get more phones. Everything's amping up.

-Yeah?

This guy, I'm telling you,

I'm gonna do this whole dot-com thing around him, you know?

I swear, if I had me when I was his age...

you know, I never had a mentor. Now I've got a protege. You know?

Someone you hand it all down to.

If anything happens to me, he steps in.

He steps in.

Just knowing that, with this thing, you know...

-It's like having a son.

-Walter, come here.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful, beautiful.

-HE COUGHS

-You've gotta go back to sleep.

-What are you doing, sweetheart?

-I'm gonna go... I'm gonna go for a run.

-No. Walter...

-See the sunrise.

Come here. Just for a second. Come here, sweetheart.

-You're exhausted.

-No, I'm not. I wanna go do the bridge thing.

You know, up-up-up Fifth?

Walter, I haven't seen you all day. Just come...

Just come to bed for one minute.

-Just one minute. Cos I've got the trainer tomorrow.

-I know.

-The trainer wants me to run.

-I know, baby.

-He wants me to run in place.

-I know, honey.

-Run from one place to another place.

-No time to sleep.

Just because you're so exhausted, that's no time to sleep.

You're right. No time for sleep.

I'll be right here when you get back from your run.

-That's nice of you.

-I'll be right beside you, Walter.

-Oh, that's nice of you.

-I'm not going anywhere.

It's OK.

Just close your eyes for one second before you go, OK?

-Know about Stokey being out against New York?

-A knock would be nice.

I'm underwater here, man. A yes or no would be great.

-No, I don't.

-If you know something or hear anything, let me know.

That's the way we work.

I'll rush right over,... stat.

I've been here six years -

What are you doing in here? Hit the phones. Do some damage control.

-Rewrite that friggin' computer program.

-It was a fucked weekend.

For some people. A 50-dime better wants to talk to John Anthony.

-What's his name?

-Carl. He owns McDonald's franchises.

-I landed that lead. He's my guy.

-Was.

-He's raiding my list now?

Your clients are jumping ship, you lactose-intolerant fuck.

-Get out of my sight.

-Excuse me.

We're home! We're home! We're home! We're home!

-Can we play princess?

-Oh, yes, can we play princess.

go get in your princess outfit, everything, OK?

-I'll put the groceries away, then I'll come and play.

-OK!

..you've got to admit that.

A little cab fare.

That won't... Hey, baby.

I can explain this. It's... Gail, that's my wife, Toni.

Hi. Thank you.

Walter, I'll talk to you later, OK?

-Thanks.

-Bye-bye.

-What the hell's going on here, Walter?

You don't seriously think I had something to do with that girl?

I just brought her up here to pay her off. I got her for John.

-Don't bullshit me, Walter.

-Oh, no. You can't be serious.

-You think I slept with this girl?

-Who the hell's John?

-John.

John Anthony. Ring a bell? You got Brandon a hooker?

He's working late. He's in a new city. He has no friends.

-Yes, I got him a hooker.

-Are we gonna have this conversation?

Are you completely, completely clueless, Walter?

-What are you so angry about?

-What am I angry about?

-Look at you.

You're jealous. Look at you.

-Jealous of what?

-You look jealous.

-Of what?

-I don't know.

Brandon getting laid.

You really are crazy. That sick thought never entered my mind.

That's not where those thoughts enter.

OK, I'm done. I'm done. That's it.

You'll be happy to know he didn't sleep with her.

I just paid her for coming. Pardon the pun.

-Oh, you're hysterical(!)

-Daddy!

-Oh!

-Daddy!

Where's my baby? Look at her! Look at her! Look at her!

'Coming up on Sports Advisors

'week seven predictions with our new star John Anthony,

'who went an amazing 24 and six in last weekend's games.'

-Jerry.

-Yeah.

-John's up first tonight.

What?

-John Anthony is leading off tonight.

-John Anthony's leading off?

Is there an echo in here?

Engineer! Sound! Help me, I'm hearing everything twice.

Two years I lead off and you bury me over a couple lousy weekends?

-This is bullshit, Walter.

-Three, two...

Welcome to week seven of professional football.

-'I'm in the garage now.'

-Did you hook it up?

-Yeah. Do you wanna hear it?

-Let me hear it!

-OK.

LOUD ROCK MUSIC

It is the bomb, B.

Oh, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.

-I'm about to head out. Everything else cool?

-'Sort of.'

-Did Dad reach you?

-Dad? No. Why?

'Must be out of money. He keeps calling.'

I gave him your work number but he says they won't put him through.

I don't know what that's about. I'll check into it.

-Let's walk. You could use the exercise.

-Stop worrying.

We're set for life. We've got Jimmy the Greek here.

Brandon, to the right. You love that, don't you?

-Let me ask you a question, Walter.

-Shoot.

Have you been blocking any of my calls?

Of course. You don't need distractions right now, my boy.

-Lot of crazies out there.

-Does that include my father?

You're asking me. I'm gonna tell you. Yeah.

You sonofabitch.

-How long?

-About two weeks.

-Walter...

Brandon, would you have taken the call if I'd put it through?

That's not the point. That's not the point.

What is the point exactly, Brandon? I'd like to know.

-What's the story with you and your father?

-You tell me.

Well, I know pieces. That's about all.

-I was just trying to spare you.

-Who are you gonna spare me from?

He was a drunk, left when I was nine. End of fucking story.

So you won't spare me nothing. If I want to talk to him, I will.

-Spare me. You fuck!

-Is that it? Is that all you got?

I will match my dysfunctional childhood and Toni's

against yours any day of the week.

My father, 5 foot, arms like this, had a cock like a Hebrew National.

If I looked at him the wrong way, he'd smack me like Jake LaMotta.

By the time I was five, I thought my name was asshole.

Broke my nose three times. Toni, tell him about you.

-I didn't have a great childhood either.

-Great?

-Tell him about the uncle.

-Well, I think he gets the idea now.

Suffice to say, she was abused by everybody but the family pet.

-OK, Walter, please.

-Your father was a drunk.

He was a jerk. So, what? It happens.

I'm glad I blocked those calls. You know why?

You need a new image of a man. How about me?

SHE LAUGHS

-She's laughing.

-That's a scary fucking thought.

Brandon, listen, the shit that happened to you,

to me, to Toni, you know what that is?

It's just that - shit that happened.

Because after the therapy and the psychiatry and the meetings,

you know what it all comes down to? You're all fucked up.

We are all just so fucked up.

You gotta just say that shit out.

"I am fucked up and I ain't gonna take it any more."

Come on. You too, Toni. All of us. Wallow with me here a minute.

We are so fucked up. We're not gonna take it any more!

I am so fucked up with all of you.

I'm not gonna take it anymore. How's that?

­ Hey! I'm trying to sleep here, asshole.

-That you, Dad?

-OK, Walter.

-I'm gonna kick your fucking head in.

-Let's go.

-Don't wait up.

Amir, you've got to be kidding me.

Are you gonna haggle over 50 grand

after the 250,000 I made you last weekend?

Look, don't get me wrong, John. 50,000 seems slightly steep.

"Steep!" Amir, let's rewind a second.

First time you call me, you're in a hole the size of the Grand Canyon,

crying about having to hock your fiancee's ring.

Today you're calling me from a red convertible Ferrari, isn't that it?

Candy red? Yeah, are you doing the math? I am.

-"All right? I'm gonna cut you off."

-Come on, John.

"If we keep working together, I'll charge a 10 percent aggravation tax."

Get your ass to Western Union, wire me 75 grand and maybe we can make up.

-OK, OK, John...

-John Anthony. Talk to me.

-"May I speak to Brandon Lang?"

-Mom?

-Hey, honey, is that you?

-Yeah, it's me!

-Are you OK?

-Mom, I have never been better.

I'm kicking ass and taking names. Did you get the money I sent you?

-Yeah. That's why I'm -

-I talked to Denny.

I'm flying you and him out here first class.

I'll put you up at the Plaza. You'll meet Toni and Walter.

-You're gonna love this joint, Ma.

-That sounds great, honey.

About the money, all that money, it's too much.

Ma, it's not too much!

I earned that money, every fucking cent of it.

-Listen to you.

-It's just how people talk out here.

Look, no cuff. No cuff, Francesco.

Now, who's this John Anthony person?

Those cheques I've been sending you that you've been cashing,

-those are from John Anthony.

-And he talks like that?

-They're from me.

-We gotta go to Puerto Rico.

-I gotta put you on hold. What's in Puerto Rico?

-Novian called.

He lives in Puerto Rico. He's the biggest sports better in the world.

We've hit the jackpot. He wants to talk, in person, with John Anthony.

-Got it. How much time have we got?

-45 minutes.

-Pronto, OK. Mama?

Mom? Ma?

My mom just hung up on me. Um...

'What do you know about him?'

Not much except that he's a world-class prick.

Wouldn't return my call. Treated me worse than my Hong Kong tailor.

Know how long I've been trying to bag this guy?

Have you any idea what this is worth?

Nope, but I want a bonus if we pull this off.

-No "if." It's only "when."

-I got you.

-You understand?

-Remember, he called us.

-Mmm-hmm.

-You hooked him.

-Mmm-hmm.

-Know that.

-Got it.

-Sweat that.

-Got it. Relax, my man.

I'll get in character in the car, huh?

Oh, fuck!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey! Uh-oh. Easy, baby.

Easy, easy. Is it your heart? Where's your vial? Easy, easy.

Somebody get a doctor! Get me some water now.

Here we are. Hang on, baby. Yeah, breathe it out.

Here's one, two. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you suck on them.

Suck on them, man. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Easy, easy, easy.

-Yeah, baby.

-Brandon?

-Yeah? I'm here.

-Do you love me?

Shh. You know I love you. Shh. You ain't going nowhere.

Somebody get some help! Get me some water now!

Shh.

-Brandon.

-Yeah? Talk to me, my man. Come on.

Would you love me... if this was a joke?

I'm OK.

:I was just practicing. It's OK. It's OK.

Look at me. I'm all right. Oh, I got a crowd.

Little indigestion. Too many peanuts on the plane.

I'm OK. Thank you for your concern.

-He's had a little problem. Whoa.

-Don't... Don't you do that to me.

-Walter, that's pushing it too far.

-Now, you listen to me.

You pay attention to me. There's no such thing as too far.

Understand? You push everything as far as you can.

You push and you push and you push until it starts pushing back

and then you push some goddamn more. Remember that today.

OK?

If I start to die again, forget the hospital, I wanna croak here.

-Walter.

-Mr Novian. It's an honour.

-My associate...

-John Anthony.

-..John Anthony.

-How are you?

These sports services of yours,

complete fucking scam, huh?

THEY LAUGH

I hear your boy here's having quite a season.

-What's your system, Walter?

-System?

Let's start with how much you bet.

Million a game, across the board.

OK, is that our ceiling, the most we're working with?

It depends. Shit, Benny, check your wallet.

See if you have any cash. Maybe he'll talk about the weekend.

-How do you feel about it?

-Do you rent that yacht?

-No, no. I own it.

-That's how I feel about this weekend.

And I'm not being cocky. I'm talking straight commerce with you.

-I didn't come down here to bullshit you.

-Wow, you got steam.

Or maybe a little inside information, maybe?

I know these teams better than they know themselves.

I'm going 12 for 12 this weekend including the Monday-night parlay.

Wow. Should we believe him?

-What do you think?

-I don't.

-You cannot afford not to.

-No, I can afford.

-Can you?

Honest question, Mr Novian. Can you?

Hell, can anyone, for that matter,

afford to lose as much as a man like you

needs to bet to actually feel a win?

Winning's a funny thing. It's a rare commodity that money cannot buy...

until you called me.

I didn't call you. I called your boss.

And he called me.

The price is 250,000 up-front, plus 10 percent of every game you win.

That's wild.

-I never paid up-front before, did I?

-We've never charged it before.

Considering whose picks you're getting, the money you're betting,

250's a bargain. You know it and I know it.

If you want this weekend's winners, that's my offer.

You can take it or leave it.

Let's step outside.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Come in.

-They need it, Mr Anthony.

-What's your mother's name, Mitchell?

Sheila.

-What street did you grow up on?

-Atlantic Avenue.

-Who do you like Monday night?

-Oh, I don't know.

-Pick one.

-Well, that's your job.

I'll do your job tomorrow. Today you do mine. Who do you like?

-What are you talking about?

-Mitchie.

Seattle v New Orleans. Stop stalling. Who do you like?

I don't know. I mean, I guess I like Seattle plus the two points.

-Over or under?

-No, you can't... You can't do that.

No, I can do this. Over or under? It's 44 points. Come on.

Um... over.

-Seattle in the over. Nice.

-I'm not gonna hand that in.

-There's a million dollars on that game.

-There's a lot more than that.

-I can pick. Today I'm picking you. The outcome will be the same.

-OK.

And... what if I'm wrong?

There's no "if."

We don't need a field goal.

We need a touchdown.

Oh, that's OK. They score, we win.

Come on, come on. They score, we win. They score, we win.

They score, we win. They score, we win.

-TV:

-'..first down on the sixth.

-'Touchdown!'

-Yes!

-THEY CHEER

-We won! A hundred fucking percent!

A hundred fucking percent!

A hundred fucking percent!

It was like he mesmerised me, like Spock or something.

I just visualised it - Seattle and the over. He wrote it down.

He said picking me was like him doing it.

# ..It's not unusual to go out at any time... #

Congratulations, Brandon, or should I say John?

Either way, it's amazing. I am very impressed.

Are you kidding me? Letting salesmen make your picks, that's balls.

You'd better collect some of that cash.

The way you're picking, you'll need some for a rainy day.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Gambling gods are a fickle bunch. So easily offended.

There might be businesses you can make over two million dollars...

-Thanks for looking after me.

-All right.

..but somebody tell me, somebody please tell me,

where else are you gonna have this much fucking fun?

You the man! You the man, big Papa!

I love you forever.

Let me ask you something. How much of that do-re-mi be for moi?

Well, how about a one with five zeros behind it?

-A hundred thousand?

-Yeah.

-On two mill?

You be working out of my shop.

-Yes, sir, I am.

-Look around you.

-This is your place, Walter's shop.

I understand that. I'm just saying, feed the horse.

-Maybe 10 percent.

-10 percent?!

That what you're thinking? That's a beautiful thought. Forget it.

Walter, we were starting to roll. And we got Novian. We got the 250...

I wanna tell you something now, OK? I'm gonna say it only once.

If you want something more from me than a gesundheit after a sneeze,

do more than come to me with this shit. Understand?

You're gonna have to earn it. Then you'll have to fight me for it.

You'll have to challenge me, rip it out of my fucking talons.

That's how you get ahead with me. John Anthony would know that, see?

Next time you come to me with this shit,

come as John Anthony. I ain't talking money with you.

Hey, big winner, huh? How you feeling?

Winning.

Winning.

-Dance with me.

-Oh!

-I gotta dance with you more.

-You do.

Listen. I'm thinking of buying a plane.

-Oh, yeah.

-Yeah.

-SHE LAUGHS

Don't laugh. A big one. One of them G... G-somethings.

I saw this house in the Bahamas for sale.

Talk about an investment.

-In case anything should happen to me. I mean, you and Julia...

-Shh!

-I don't wanna hear that, Walter.

-Why don't we go and check it out?

Just you and me, barefoot in the sand.

Just tell me you're not... gambling, Walter.

18 years straight, OK? That shit's over.

It's never over. You know that, Walter.

How about a truth serum in the veins?

Baby, we just made two million dollars.

I want to celebrate with my wife. I want to dance. Can I do it?

Alexandria. Hey, it's Brandon.

Yeah, listen, I happen to be in the neighbourhood.

You have got a Doberman for a doorman.

Hi, Alexandria.

-What are you doing here?

-What do you say we go out for a late dinner?

Have a couple of killer bottles of wine.

Go back to that place where we first met.

Are you out of your mind?

I live in this building, asshole. This is home.

-I don't appreciate you stopping by without calling.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What the hell's gotten into you?

Let me make this shit real clear so this doesn't happen again.

You meant 5,000. Your friend set it up.

# ..The world still is the same

# You'll never change it

# As sure as the stars shine above

# Your nobody 'til somebody loves you

# So find yourself somebody to love. #

-Do you know what time it is?

-It is 8:37 in the am.

Wrong, it's time to press. We're gonna yank out all the stops.

When you're winning, you press. You don't rest on your laurels.

-What are you doing?

-I've got a 10:30 tee-time at Wingfoot.

with a client, that Howell guy. Don't call unless the lines change.

The salmon are running, my man. You've got to field phone calls.

You can't go out playing golf, having fun.

Fun? Senor, you have obviously never played Wingfoot.

Stop playing around. You've got work to do this week.

I'm not asking you if I can leave. I'm telling you that's how it is.

All right?

You want my picks? I can give you those.

Washington minus eight against Miami. Washington.

Saint-Louis, KC. Las Vegas...

You're gonna start picking on Tuesday for the weekend, huh?

Philadelphia... Cinci...

We're gonna be advising somewhere in the neighbourhood

of 20 million dollars this week.

That's a nice neighbourhood. We should double that by week ten.

I see. You're gonna make the picks.

No study, no analysis. You're just gonna pick 'em.

Locked in, Walter. I don't really need it.

You've got to be kidding me, Vegas.

There's my picks for this week.

If you want next week's picks, I can give you those by Friday.

-If you want to join us, you can.

-No, I'm starting to get the drift.

-We'll keep these picks on ice and go over them tomorrow.

-I won't be in.

-Then, the next day.

-Ah, we'll talk about it.

-Hey, Brandon.

-Toni!

-Hey.

-Where are you headed, girl?

-Some of us have to work.

Oh, oh, oh.

-Baby.

-You look great.

-Nice ride.

-900 KING. Did you see the plates?

-Yes, I did.

CAR HORNS BEEP

-Feel that? Feel that? Feel that?

-Don't. Slow down, Brandon.

-This car was made to go fast.

-No. Not with me in it. Slow down.

Loosen up, will ya?

Let me ask you a question.

When you're not at the salon, or running Julia to play-dates,

or keeping Walter in line, which I know is a full-time job,

-what do you do for you?

-I stay busy. You're gonna turn here -

That's not what I asked!

What do you do for you? For Toni.

I was a junkie, Brandon, OK?

Everyday I get up and I wonder, "Is this it?"

"Is this the day I slip, end up back on the street?"

Just keeping it all on track. That's what I do for me.

Well, that's not living, Toni. That is not living.

That is maintaining, cashing in. That is not living.

What the hell does that mean? Are we talking perfection here?

No. Nobody's perfect.

Oh, except for me last weekend going 14 and O, huh?!

HE LAUGHS

-This is your stop.

-Well, thanks for the ride.

John.

TV: 'In other action, Washington melted down in Miami losing 24-12.

'St Louis shocked KC 34-14,

'and Philadelphia smacked Pittsburgh 23-10.'

-I'm gonna go work out.

-No, you're not.

There's half a dozen games left.

I want you to watch every second of every minute of every one of 'em.

Right. So sit down.

-'Oakland's having a miserable time trying to run the ball.'

-Bye-bye.