Somers Town

# Wake up, you sleepy fly

# Forget the debt you owe

# We'll sing the sorrow song

# We'll sing of all you know

-Hello.

-Hiya.

You live upstairs, don't you?

You in a rush?

# Wake up, you sleepy fly

# You gotta raise a vein

# We gave you things to say

# Believe yourself again

-Excuse me, is anyone sitting there?

-No, go ahead.

-Thank you.

-So did you travel from Glasgow or...

-No, I live in Nottingham.

-Nottingham? Cool. That's where I'm from.

-Oh, is it?

-Yeah.

-You having a day out?

-Well, I'm coming to stay in London for a bit.

BOTH SPEAK POLISH

I need to rush, I need to get a tube.

I'm sorry, but you take care of yourself. It was nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. See you again soon.

# There's a gem in the rock

# That's been thrown

# There's a vein of pure gold

# In the stone

# There's a vein of pure gold

# In the stone

# There's a vein of pure gold

# In the stone #

BOTH SPEAK POLISH

IN POLISH:

"Would you like Big Issues?" "How much big ones

"when I go Manchester for cheap time?"

-and, "You don't give shit about me yourself, dick."

-Shit!

Shit, bloody, eff-all, boobs.

-Excuse me, will you go into the shop for us, please?

-What for?

-Carling.

-How old are you?

-Eighteen.

-Get it yourself then.

I can't, they won't believe I'm 18. I ain't got no ID. Pl...

-Excuse me, will you go into the shop for me, please?

-Get this joker.

-What do you want?

-Will you just get me four cans of Carling, please?

Give me the money.

-Cheers.

-Is he getting you drink? For you?

No, they're for my dad. No. I don't drink.

-STRONG POLISH ACCENT:

-"Dear Doris, I am seeing a lovely girl

and we want to take thing to the next stage

but I am afraid of hurting her because I'm...

-..too bit, too well endowed."

-Endowed.

"I'm 24, she's 23,

and we've been together

for four months, but previous girlfriends

have said having sex with me

has made them sore afterwards."

"Is there anything I can do about it?"

Um... "I think this girl's...

..the one for me, and...

..I don't want to hurt her." Doris.

Hmm. Doris says,

"Being well endowed can be much more tricky than...

..than being small. Foreplay is extra important

but as long as you make sure

your girlfriend is completely aroused

and are skilful, you can give her pleasure without pain."

IN POLISH:

HE LAUGHS

KNOCK AT DOOR

MORE KNOCKING

No, no, no. Don't take pictures, son.

I don't want everyone to know what's in here. What's your name?

-Marek.

-Marek. You and your dad settling in all right?

-You live upstairs, don't you?

-Yeah.

-My name's Graham.

Graham Cutler. I'm from a long line of Cutlers.

I see you've got this lovely Man United shirt on.

Let me tell you something, Marek, people round here,

they don't really appreciate Manchester United.

To keep you safe, Marek,

-I wanna give you a little present. Wait there.

-OK.

I think you should put it on straightaway, without delay,

-just for safety...

-For me?

-..purposes. Yeah. Try it on.

Yeah?

-Here, give me your camera.

-OK.

There you go. Ta.

Should fit. Try it on. Put it on over the other one.

Yes! Much better!

Arsenal! Champions!

See that? That'll keep you safe.

Now, you can keep that for nothing. That's free. All you got to do

-is you gotta help me with a bit of unloading. Is that all right?

-OK.

Here, look. Take these and put 'em on the left in there.

The left-hand side, just round there. Can you take two at a time?

Yeah? Got it? You're a big, strong boy, ain't you? Yeah. Good.

-You all right, mate?

-How are you?

What's going on?

-Where are you from? Not from round here.

-Midlands.

Oh, OK. Not bad.

-You got a beer?

-No.

-Nice hair you got.

-What shampoo do you use?

-Head & Shoulders.

-Can I have some?

-No.

-I want some.

-Don't take the piss.

-Oh, be a good boy.

-Nice?

-Yeah.

-Taste some of that.

-Save me some of that.

-That's buff, you should try that.

-Don't mind if I have a bit?

-No.

Better not.

-How's that?

-That's good stuff.

Finish that, finish that.

-That's the way to do it.

-That's the one.

-You don't mind, do you? Cool.

-You ain't got another one, have you?

-So what brings you down here?

-I'm just down here, just come down.

-Just come down?

-What for?

-Just to, I don't know, see the sights.

-Ain't to start trouble, is it?

-No.

-Good.

-That's a nice jacket. Where'd you get that from?

-Shop.

-How much did it cost?

-Don't know.

-Let me, let me try it on.

-Look at these.

-Those trainers are nice, boy.

-I gotta go.

-Where you going?

-I gotta wait for my mates.

-I thought you said you was from the Midlands?

-Where you going, man?

-My mates are over there.

-My mates.

-Come here, man.

-We only wanna talk.

Come here! Hey, catch him! Catch him!

What you running for? I said I wanted to talk to you!

-Shit.

-Come on, let's go!

-Get the bag!

-Go, go, go, go!

-Loser!

-Wanker!

Jane.

-All right?

-Tomo?

-What the hell happened to you?

-Oh, it was three lads last night.

Oh, Tomo.

See? I told you, it's rough here.

-Did you get mugged?

-Well, they took my bag and some of my stuff.

Did they take your money?

Oh, Tomo. Are you all right?

Jesus, God. Look at you.

-There you go, sweetheart. Cheers.

-Thank you. Thanks very much.

-Here we are. You get that down you.

-Thanks.

So what you gonna do?

I don't know.

I've got nowhere to go.

Nothing at all. No bag.

No money. No clothes.

Nothing.

Won't it be better going back home?

I hated it. I've got nothing at all.

-What about your pals?

-I don't have real mates, just people I know.

Useless wastes of space, like me.

Don't think like that.

Well, it's true.

Can you do me a favour, please?

Can you lend me some money?

I'll buy you a train ticket.

What about if I pretended it was for a train ticket?

You've got some cheek.

-There's a tenner.

-Thank you.

-OK, I've got to go. I've got a meeting.

-OK.

-You gonna be all right?

-Yeah.

-See you again.

-You take care.

-Who are you?

-Doesn't matter.

It's my photograph.

-Who's she?

-It's not your business.

She's pretty fit. Is she a model?

-What?

-I said she's quite fit. Is she a model?

No.

So you do things for magazines like pornos and...

-..sex magazines and that?

-No.

I was only asking.

You should do.

She should get in them.

Oi! You lads, cut it out!

-We was only messing about, mate. We're best mates.

-Just calm down.

Get back! Get back, cos I'll drop 'em.

-Give me them back.

-No. I just wanted to look.

If you want my watch...

-..here you are. And bag.

-I don't want your bag and watch, mate.

I just wanted to look. I was only messing about.

Here.

-Who is she?

-She? Maria.

-Maria? She's pretty fit.

-She is.

-Where's she from?

-France, Paris.

Mint.

-So where are you from?

-Me?

-Yeah.

-In Poland.

-Oi! What do you think you're doing?

-Don't you know it's private here?

-Yeah, we do.

-Clear off then

-or I'll call the police.

-Shut up.

-Don't tell me to shut up!

-Clear off!

-Wait!

-Go on!

-Wait! Oh, my God, you look big!

-Hey, that's enough of that.

-Shut up!

-I'll remember your face!

-Whatever!

-I've got a photographic memory!

-Yeah, whatever.

-So what happened to your face?

-I got beat up last night

by three lads, down there.

Nicked my bag and everything.

-Where do you live?

-Um, everywhere. Anywhere.

-Just around here.

-On the streets too?

Mm.

-Where do you live?

-There. With my father.

Which one do you live in? I'll come and call for you tomorrow.

I show you later.

What, do you want me to come with you? See your flat? Or your house?

I don't know. If you want.

Yeah? What, will... Your dad won't mind, will he?

-What, he will mind? Or will he let me?

-I don't know.

-What's his name?

-Dad's name?

-Yeah.

Mariusz.

Cool. What's your name?

-Oh, I'm Marek.

-Tomo.

-Nice to meet you, mate.

-Nice to meet you.

-Hey, Graham.

-How you doing, Marek?

-I am OK, thank you.

-Nice to see you, mate.

-Who's your side-kick, then?

-My friend Tomo.

-Tomo. all right, Tomo?

-all right.

-Where are you from?

-Um, Nottingham.

-Up north, eh?

-Yeah. Well, Midlands.

-Midlands. What bit of the Midlands is that?

-East.

-East. Hmm.

Thanks for helping. I see you're wearing the shirt. Nice one, son.

-What are you doing later? Do you wanna earn a fiver?

-(BOTH) Yeah.

Well, I was asking Marek, actually, to tell you the truth.

Um, basically what it is, tomorrow,

I want you to sit down, right, on a deck chair,

with a big pile of deck chairs by you,

and when someone wants to hire a deck chair,

you stand up a couple of seconds, take the money and sit down again.

-Sound easy enough?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Can I do it as well?

Will you vouch for him? Is he a hard worker?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-I think so.

-OK, £5 each. Is that all right? Is that a deal?

-Yeah.

There's one little catch. See these deck chairs we got here,

and these ones lined up over here? We gotta sand them down today

so no-one gets splinters, so, um,

if you wanna pick up the sandpaper and get going on it, son.

So we get a fiver for this and a fiver for tomorrow? A tenner?

He's a joker. No, £5. That's it.

And you've got to prove yourself to me first. Understand?

-OK.

-Yeah? All right. Go on.

No, no, no, no. Tomo, not that one, son. One of them over there.

Pick one up.

You gotta start your own chair. Go on, get a spurt on.

-Have we gotta do 'em all?

-Yeah, all of 'em. There ain't that many.

The sooner you get a start on it, the sooner we'll do it.

I know that he's a hard worker.

There you go.

Tomo.

-Come on, wake up.

-Maria.

Your food.

There isn't a lot there, mate.

-There's only a little bit.

-I can't give you more.

Rest is for my dad.

How much is your dad having?

Eat.

Oh, and why have you got so many pictures of Maria?

-Is she your girlfriend or something?

-Yeah, she is.

So...have you had sex with her?

No.

Have you felt her bazookas?

No.

Well, obviously, her being your girlfriend, you've kissed her, yeah?

Not yet.

Look, mate, in England it's sort of like a...

..a tradition for, like, a...

..a girlfriend to kiss her boyfriend, so it sounds to me like

you're not actually with her, you just like her.

In Poland, we mustn't kiss to be together.

And do you think only about one thing?

But mate, we're not in Poland. This is England

and so it sounds to me like she's not your girlfriend.

So...I'm gonna try and get with her.

So, when I get with her, I'm not gonna be comfortable with

you having pictures of my girlfriend, so if you wanna give me them.

No, door closed. You must go and find another girl.

She's my girlfriend. And east fast, I must meet my dad.

-Why can't I stay here?

-You can't stay, you must eat and go out.

-Where am I gonna go, mate?

-I don't know.

So you're just gonna let me out on the streets again?

Please. I'm not gonna nick owt.

(Tomo, it's me. Wake up.

(Are you hungry? Eat.)

-What's that?

-Sausage. Polish. Kielbasa.

Mate, I can't eat no more foreign food.

I've... My insides are burning. I need a poo really bad.

It's all the spiciness. I need the toilet.

No, you can't go to the toilet.

-My father is drunk. He will kill you.

-Mate, it's important.

-Wait.

I've got idea. Wait!

I give you plastic bag from kitchen.

You do it in, then we throw it in the window.

-What, here?

-What?

-Here?

-Yeah.

-Is there no way I can go to the toilet, please?

-No.

-What about toilet roll?

-Only plastic bag.

-What about what can I wipe my bum with? Please, mate.

-No.

-Will you get me some toilet roll?

-Wait, I give you plastic bag. Wait.

-Don't forget toilet roll, please.

-Wait.

-OK.

-Please. Hurry up.

-Don't forget toilet roll.

-OK.

FRENCH VOICES

She is so fit. She's loads better than she looks in the pictures.

What do you think she's talking about now?

-Oi... Oi!

-What?

-I said what do you think she's talking about?

-Probably France.

I'd just love to take her out for a meal and...

..just be with her and hold her and just eat together and...

..maybe she'll feed me and she'll be saying at the end of the night,

"Oh, Tomsy, I love you so much. I want to feed you

-grapes and feed you bread and cheese and olives..."

-Shut up!

Hello. How are you today?

-What happened to your face?

-I just got into a fight with three lads.

-Really?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Does it hurt, sweetie?

-Nah.

-Sure?

-Yeah. If you think that's bad, you should see them.

-Dominated all three of 'em.

-Just be careful.

-How are you, Marek?

-Fine.

-Thank you. And you?

-I'm fine, thank you.

-How did your pictures go?

-Very good.

You have to show them to me some time.

So, er, do you like photography, arts and writing and things?

-Yeah, I do, actually.

-Cool. I mean, I am actually a painter myself.

-Really?

-Yeah, I do everything. I do...

..glasses, wine bottles...

-Anything.

-Really?

-You name something, I'll tell you if I've done it.

-Um, a flower.

Yeah, I've done flowers. I've done fruit, cakes. Yeah.

So I do women sometimes.

I actually did, like, a... It weren't awesome

-but it was an OK drawing of the Eiffel Tower.

-The Eiffel Tower?

-Yeah.

-Show it to me.

-Course I will, yeah.

Maybe I should do you some time.

Maybe.

-Definitely.

-Do you want something to drink?

-Lemonade, please.

-Lemonade? And you?

-I'm gonna stay off the fizzies, I reckon.

Can I just have a... a still water, please?

-No ice.

-OK.

-Cheers.

-You're not a painter.

-She's so fit. I am.

-Yeah, I am.

-No.

-I've got loads of paintings, loads.

-Show me one.

-I haven't got my bag, have I?

-Mm-hm.

-Hm.

-Course.

Oh, come on. Someone sit down.

We've been sat down for four-and-a-half hours.

-Oh, come on, it's getting cold now.

-No, it's not.

-Can we not just call it a day?

-No.

-Tomo, shut up, please.

You shut up.

Right, so you're saying the guy who dropped it off has gone?

-He's not here?

-Yeah.

Right, so which way did he go?

-That way.

-Right, so he went that way,

-we'll go that way, yeah?

-OK.

-I'm just gonna go in,

cool, natural, just be myself and I'll just pick it up

and... Just watch and learn. Learn from the master. Don't worry,

-I'll pull it off.

-Shall I go with you, master?

What for?

I can fake heart attack or something like this.

What do you wanna fake a heart attack for?

If you just do it the way I'm gonna do it,

then it'll, it'll, it'll happen. It's me, I can do everything.

So just stay there a second. One minute. I'll be back. Don't move.

Just gonna...

..just get these for...

..Uncle Ian. Ian'll get these. These'll get to Ian.

Ian. Come on, hurry up.

Come on!

Tada!

What's that, grandma's raincoat?

What else is in there?

A girl's blouse? No. What else is in there?

Trousers.

Rupert Bear trousers?! No!

What else is in there? Pull out something decent.

That's cool.

-Like businessman.

-Mate, you're not a businessman!

Take it off, it's not a fashion show!

I thought you said the person looked like me?

Maybe he wash it for his grandparents, I don't know.

That's nice, retro trousers.

They're not retro, they're ridiculous!

Mate, just get me my tracksuit, please.

I'm gonna be stuck in that tracksuit for the rest of my life.

-Is it dry?

-Yeah.

No, it's not, it's soaked!

What the flippin' heck's that?! What you done to it?!

-I don't know. It's not me.

-You've wrecked my clothes!

My only bits of clothes!

Pen!

God's sake!

-Maybe this one?

-Mate, it's a dress!

-Put it in your trousers.

-Why are you being stupid?!

Why are you finding this funny?! I've got no clothes!

-God's sake, grow up!

-Don't be baby!

Come back! Tomo!

-Marek... Oi!

-What?

-I've chosen some clothes out the bag.

-Show me.

-Promise you won't laugh?

-I won't.

-Come on, mate. You promised you wouldn't laugh.

-Sorry.

-You look great.

-I think I look like a female golfer.

No!

No.

Honestly, you look fine.

-What's that?

-What?

-What?

-That.

-Yeah.

-It's a wheelchair.

-Yeah, it is.

-Whose do you reckon that is?

-I don't know.

Don't look like anyone's.

-Shall we go get it?

-OK.

-I'll race you down.

Come on, quick!

-So do you think she'll like it?

-Of course, it's flowers,

umbrella and bell, everything. Don't worry.

-I just don't want to serve him.

-all right, I'll say something,

-but just accept the fact he's a bloody idiot.

-BELL RINGS

Oh, God. Talking of idiots. Go on.

Let me go see what they want.

-Hi!

-I'll see you tomorrow.

-See you. Let me change the sign.

Thanks.

-Hello.

-I had a car crash.

-No, you haven't.

-No, you're right, I haven't.

-What's this?

-Special taxi for you.

-No. Really?

-Yeah, door-to-door service.

-But I live far away.

-It doesn't matter.

-We don't care. Come on, get in.

Thank you very much, my darlings. I feel very honoured.

-So which way?

-This way.

-OK.

-Let's go.

-Go, go, go!

# Are you a gambler?

# You gonna take a chance on this life?

# Are you a strangler?

# Are you gonna kill it all?

# Are your friends and your lovers

# Your God-fearing brothers all gone?

# Is this is this all you got left

# But you don't see it lasting that long?

# Are you a whirlwind?

# Do you suck in everything around you?

# Are you a monster?

# Do you destroy it all?

# Are your friends and your lovers

# Your God-fearing brothers all gone?

# Is this all you got left

# But you don't see it lasting that long?

# Low, low, low

# Low is the man So hard are the blows

# Low, low, low

# Low...are the punches

# For you. #

This is where I live.

-Do you? Which one?

-With the flowers.

Oh, cool. They're pretty.

Thank you so much for taking me home, boys.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-This has been the best day.

-It was our pleasure.

-And I love the way you decorated my chair.

Can I have a kiss now, please?

And remember, I love you both the same.

-Bye.

-Yeah!

See you later.

-See you later.

-Bye!

-Tomo, hurry up!

-What?

-We have no time.

-What do you want?

-Hurry up.

-Why?

-My dad will be back soon.

-Why? Your dad's just gone to work.

-He only gone to the shop.

-Two minutes.

-He will catch you.

-Just two minutes.

-No, I am coming.

Oh!

Tomo! What are you doing?

I'm lonely.

Ow!

KNOCKS AT DOOR

Hurry up!

-Who is it?

-It's Tomo and Marek.

-Who?

-Tomo and Marek!

Hurry up!

Oh. What's wrong, boys?

What?

You know what time it is?! It's seven in the morning!

-So?

-What do you mean, so?

-This is the middle of the night for me!

-We've brought you some stuff.

-Here, what about that? Brought you some clothes.

-I don't want none!

You woke me up at seven in the morning to bring me this rubbish!

-Are you mad?!

-We've brought you some clothes. Do you wanna buy 'em?

-Birds' dresses? I don't want that! What for?

-You can sell 'em!

You can sell it all.

-You can sell it all.

-Retro trousers.

You can sell 'em all.

-I'll give you a fiver for the suit.

-We're selling it together.

-What?

-You must pay all.

-I don't want all of it, all I want is this!

-Well you can re-sell it on the market.

-So how much do you want?

-25, 20 quid.

-25 quid!

Why is it... Urgh!

Now piss off, and let me get back to bed, you.

Seven o'clock in the morning. I don't know what you...

Mint! Come on!

We've got everything? Bread, wine,

-grapes, cheese, onions.

-Yeah.

Things to sit on. It's gonna be ace. Just let me do all the talking

-cos I'm better than you at it.

-OK.

-Hello.

-Hello, lads.

-Where is Maria?

-I'm afraid she ain't in today.

-She told us she was gonna be in.

-No, she had to go home.

-One of her family's sick or something.

-No problem, we find her.

No, no, lads. Not here home, Paris home.

-Where?

-France.

-Well she didn't tell us. When did she go?

-This morning.

Don't worry, there'll be another little bird here next week.

Not like Maria.

What about all these things for her?

I don't know, I don't care.

Just do what you want with it.

IN FRENCH ACCENT: "And remember, I love you both the same."

Yeah, right. What a crock.

It's really annoying that we spent a lot on this food and that.

And the cheese... and bread, and grapes.

She didn't even have the decency to tell us she was going.

OK, give me a bottle.

-You've had loads.

-Please.

-There's only half left. I've only had like two swigs.

-Please.

-Well, don't have loads then.

-Thank you.

By the way, have you ever drunk be...

-Have you ever drunk before?

-No.

You've had like two swigs and you're all over the shop.

You don't even know what you're saying. Look at you.

What you staring at?

You're out your head.

Why does anything good never happen to me?

Oh, stop crying, and don't be big baby.

I'm not crying and I'm not a big baby, am I? It's called love, son.

-You don't love her more than me.

-Well obviously I do.

You've got long hair and a stupid accent.

-You've got stupid clothes.

-So?

-So?

I could just go nick some from a shop. You can't change

the way you speak.

Anyway, let's not fall out over a girl.

How much money have we got?

I don't know, ten pounds.

That's all.

Just a tenner?

OK.

Right, then. Let's forget about Maria.

Get wasted.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

No! No more!

You look like a German!

Mine!

Yeah!

Turn this up a bit. Where's the volume?

Woo!

Ooh!

Three,

two, one, go!

Disco rave again! Disco! You've got a big...

No! Ah!

MUSIC STOPS He's turned the music off.

Tomo.

-Is this your dad?

-I think so.

All right, mate?

What?

What? Can you trans... transvariclate that for me?

What?

What?

-I don't know who are you but...

-I'm Tomo.

-..but...

-Please.

..I want put on your clothes and leave.

-Yeah, mate.

-At once.

-I'm... I'll take myself out!

-Hey! Out!

-Please!

-Out!

-Please!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello.

-Where am I?

-Barbados.

Cup of tea there.

Do you remember what happened last night?

-It's nice, this. Great cooking.

-Good.

Blinding headache.

Look, why don't you just go home, son?

You're gonna get yourself into all sorts of trouble if you stay here.

Yeah, well I can't go home. I like it here.

What do you mean? If it's money, I'll lend you the money to get home.

It's not money, I've just got nothing to go home to.

-What, no home?

-No.

-No relatives or nothing?

-No.

Well, look, you can stay here for a bit but you're gonna have to help.

I mean, when I say, "Jump", you're gonna say, "How high?"

Yeah?

Help me out, do whatever I say, whatever I tell you to do.

-Yeah?

-Well, what, in like a sexual way or something?

Sex? No! Sexual way?

What are you talking about? No, not a sexual way.

OK.

-Lovely day, ain't it?

-Yeah.

Sun is shining.

Look at that station. It's amazing.

-Very huge.

-Massive.

Maybe, like, one weekend we could save up some money,

go... Obviously, because we're not even two minutes from the station.

Just get on a train and just go for a weekend.

Can you imagine that? Just us two.

OK. If you want, I can ask my dad

to get us cheaper tickets.

-He works there.

-Really?

Cool. Definitely. I mean, it'd be fun, just be like

a bit of a road trip between me and you.

Like, just best mates going to Paris.

See the Eiffel Tower, eat croissants,

drink red wine, cheese, bread.

It'd be good.

And just see Maria and just have a laugh with her,

like we did the other day.

I mean, it wouldn't be hard to find her. She's a beautiful girl.

-Yeah, she is.

-Yeah.

She must be popular in Paris.

I just hope she hasn't got a boyfriend.

Anyway...

..I'm gonna get back to the, er, polishing.

-Polishing.

-The good old Brasso.

-So, yeah. What you gonna do?

-I am staying here.

You're gonna stay here. All right then, mate,

-I'll maybe come down in a bit, we'll go the park.

-OK.

-Just go out for a bit, yeah? All right, see you in a bit.

-See you later.

See you later.

# They said the hand of God delivered the blow

# But all that I know

# It wasn't him that nearly killed you

# I let you down I never carried you home

# I left you alone

# To fend there for yourself

# I see you out sometimes enjoying the square

# The mademoiselles

# With faces filled with sadness

# For all that you gained you still remember me

# When I speak

# I'll remember where I'm from

# Well, it's a long way back

# To the Medway

# It's a long way back

# To the school

# It's a long way back

# To the Coliseum

# When we had

# Faces too

# When we had

# Faces too

# Sometimes I go back but I never stay

# It's wasting away

# The world that we grew up in

# One day you will see me down on the Strand

# And when you hear me speak

# You'll remember where you're from. #

E-mail [email protected]