Gunga Din

Now, in India's sunny clime,

where I used to spend my time,

a servant of Her Majesty the Queen,

of all them black-faced crew,

the finest man I knew

was our regimental bhisti.

SHOUTING IN HINDI

Detail...

halt!

Salaam.

HE SPEAKS HINDI

What was that all about?

They are pilgrims, sahib,

going home to the hills.

They beg to follow us for safety.

Tell them not to fall too far behind.

HE SPEAKS HINDI

HE SPEAKS HINDI

Detail, walk. March!

Well, Jadoo, the sun is going down.

Expect we'd better bivouac

at Elephant Rock, as usual.

Yes, Markham sahib.

HORSES WHINNY

I don't like it, Mitchell.

I don't like it.

Silence is unhealthy.

No word from Markham in 48 hours.

Blast it, an officer and his patrol

don't vanish into thin air.

Telegraph just got through, sir.

Good.

TELEGRAPH CLICKS

TELEGRAPH CLICKS

What have you got?

Wires apparently down for the last two days.

I thought it was something like that.

TELEGRAPH CLICKS

TELEGRAPH CLICKS

Emergency signal, sir.

CLICKING STOPS

Why doesn't he go on?

TELEGRAPH CLICKS

Wire's gone dead, sir.

I don't like this.

Can't have the wires down.

Things start too quickly up there.

Higginbotham.

Sir.

Find Sergeants McChesney, Cutter, and Ballantine.

Bring them here at once.

That's a bit difficult,

seeing as how they're all on leave together.

On some mysterious mission.

A mystery if they come back right side up.

Bring them here at once.

Sergeant McChesney!

What do you want?

Where's Sergeant Ballantine?

Here.

Where's Sergeant Cutter?

He's busy.

Buying a map for a buried treasure.

You ought to have your head examined.

I didn't know the map was a swindle.

Aw, you and your emeralds.

You ought to be put in a padded cell.

If we'd found them emeralds,

we could've lived like dukes,

see?

Ohh!

That's the fellow that sold me the map.

Oh.

Let me take care of him, will you?

Hey! Take your hands off that man.

Well...I'm waiting for an explanation.

Speak up, McChesney.

W-W-W-Well...

Speak up!

W-W-W-W...

W-W...

We were swindled, sir.

We? We?

Who swindled you?

Well...

Well, we don't want to make any charges

until we have further proof.

Further proof?

You practically wrecked a village.

You surely didn't do that, McChesney, without proof.

Well, sir, we had our suspicions.

Suspicions of what?

Come on. I've no time

to wheedle the story out of you!

W-W-W...

Well, sir, we bought a map.

Go on.

From a private

in a certain Scottish regiment, sir.

No.

No, no. I did it.

I bought the map meself, sir.

Now, listen.

Don't you try to shield your friends, Cutter.

It won't do you two any good

to hide yourselves behind Cutter's generosity.

Come on out with it. A map of what?

Well, of Lake Singali, sir.

And the privilege of diving into it

to our heart's content.

Diving for what?

Er...

For emeralds, sir.

A barge full, sir.

According to the information I bought,

it was sunk in the year 241.

I can hardly believe it.

Ballantine, a man of your intelligence...

McChesney, at your age...

They was the spoils of a maharajah, sir.

Thank you, Cutter.

That will be sufficient.

As for you two,

I ought to take away your stripes,

not only for insubordination

but for idiocy -

sheer, childish, soft-brained idiocy.

But fortunately for you,

I need all three of you at Tantrapur.

We're going on a job, sir?

Of the most vital importance.

You leave for Tantrapur

with a detachment in the morning

to repair the telegraph and keep it open.

Left turn!

Left wheel, quick march!

Left wheel!

Eyes forward!

Eyes forward!

Party, halt!

Sergeants, dismount!

Cold.

Stale.

I don't mind saying that the whole thing gives me the creeps!

Creeps or no creeps we've got to contact the Colonel.

We can't until we get them poles up

and this wire strung.

Yeah.

Naik, detail 10 men for guard duty.

The remainder, pile arms and prepare for work.

HE SPEAKS HINDI

Halt!

HE SPEAKS HINDI

Gunga Din!

HE SPEAKS HINDI

Gunga Din! Gunga Din!

Water!

Gunga Din, bring water!

Bring water!

Gunga Din! Gunga Din!

Whoever's been playing tricks with this village

is blinking clever.

I couldn't find a trail

or a single footprint leading in or out.

HE SPEAKS HINDI

Ah, so the village isn't quite deserted, eh?

Salaam, sahib.

Who are you?

My name is Panda Lal.

I'm a miserable seller of trinkets.

Last night a band of Dacoits raided this village,

looted my shop,

and stole off with my poor wife and six children.

Well, the children are looking bonny.

Come out here. Everybody in the other room.

Come on, get up! On the double!

Get in there, you heard me.

Go on, get in there.

Quick!

That's right.

Go on.

That's better.

What's that?

Trinkets, sahib.

Only what I could save

from my pitiful stock.

Worth hardly a few annas.

Go on, open them up.

Go on!

Open them!

Who are these playful subjects here?

Who knows? But toad face seems to be leader.

Oh! Well, get them all out of here.

Come on, get out of here.

On your feet. Come on.

Hold them there.

Detail eight men for escort duty. Bring them here.

Listen, you. What became of Burgess sahib?

Come on, spit it out!

He can speak, but he won't.

HE SPEAKS HINDI

He doesn't know.

Here.

You never saw one of these before, did you?

It's for growing daisies, isn't it?

Or for planting lilies for people's graves.

What became of these people here, huh?

HE SPEAKS HINDI

He doesn't know.

Oh, that's good.

We'll take them with us

and let the Colonel put them through the mangle.

No. Will not go with the white sahib.

Kali!

Kali!

You will never leave here.

Already your graves are dug.

By nightfall, Kali will be smiling.

Kali.

CHANTING: Kali ma ki jai.

Kali!

CHANTING: Kali ma ki jai.

Kali!

CHANTING: Kali ma ki jai.

Kali!

Never mind the second chorus. Come on!

Kali!

Kali!

Party, form a square!

Under cover, everybody. Get in there!

Everybody in the courtyard!

Close the gates!

Climb the wall, everybody. Climb the wall.

Come on, men, on the roof.

Look out, Mac!

Come on, climb the wall!

Start firing. Ready?

GUNSHOTS

< Ready. Set. Fire!

GUNSHOTS

Here you are, Cutter!

Get in there! Come on!

Ballantine, come up!

Let's go!

Here's a present for you!

Start firing!

Bal, catch!

Come on, let's go.

Charge!

Everybody under cover!

Get behind the wall. Come on!

Hurry up!

Pani, Sergeant sahib?

No!

Hey, how did you get here?

You're a funny bloke, Din,

but I'll admit you're a good bhisti.

Could be first-class soldier.

Don't make me laugh.

Hey, get to the river!

Get to the river.

Sappers, over you go.

Over you go.

Over you go.

Give me that.

What's the matter, Bal?

You've been woolgathering since we crawled from the river.

Well, um, you know my time is up on May 14th.

Well, what of that?

You can sign on for another nine years.

Make a man of him.

Er...

I'm leaving the service.

Leaving the service?

That's right. I'm, er...

I'm getting married and going in the tea business.

Tea business! Married!

Why, you're mad if...

BAGPIPES PLAY: "Bonnie Dundee"

March to attention, everybody!

Let's march in in good style, men.

Left...

Fall in up there.

Left, right, left.

Tell the Sergeant to report at the office immediately.

Yes, sir.

Party, right wheel!

Halt!

Left face!

Sergeants to the front!

The wiring party's returned from Tantrapur.

Eight killed and three wounded.

Otherwise, all correct.

Dismiss your men and report at the office immediately.

Very good, sir.

Party, dismissed!

Identical, Mitchell.

Good heavens, a Thugg pickaxe!

It's incredible,

but that's what happened to Markham.

I'm afraid they've done away with Burgess, too.

There's been none of this for 50 years.

It's Thugg. That's what it is, Mitchell.

What's Thugg, sir?

A murder cult Colonel Sleeman crushed 50 years ago.

The Thugs were the most fiendish killers

that ever existed.

There were 10,000 in India,

and they murdered 30,000 people a year.

Thugg was practiced from the Himalayas to Ceylon.

A religious order worshipping Kali, goddess of blood.

The Thugs were stranglers,

weren't they, sir?

Stranglers.

They dug their victims' graves in advance.

Mitchell, we must stamp this out immediately!

The Lancers will scour the country west of Tantrapur.

You'll search to the east.

What do we do?

You're dismissed, Ballantine.

McChesney, you and Cutter

will leave tomorrow with a stronger...

Ballantine, you're dismissed.

McChesney, you and Cutter

will take a stronger detachment to Tantrapur to finish.

Major Mitchell and I will be in close touch on either flank.

Keep your eyes open for Thugs.

Well, er... Ballantine would be a great help, sir.

The three of us have always brought off things

very well together.

Why, yes, sir. He's indispensable, sir.

Ballantine's leaving the service in six days.

He's getting married.

Couldn't you put your foot down or something?

Forbid the banns? Something like that?

When the parson says, "speak now or forever hold your peace,"

couldn't you give him a roar, sir?

Higginbotham will replace him.

Higginbotham?

Dismissed.

Tommy, I've got you back again.

I'm here to stay for ever and ever.

For ever.

Oh, that's horrible!

She's charmed him like a snake.

The siren.

I wouldn't believe this without seeing it.

Me, neither.

I knew it.

I can't stand it.

Me, too.

BUGLE PLAYS MEDLEY

Left!

Right!

Centre!

Point!

Recover!

Centre!

Point!

Recover!

As you were!

Company, attention!

Attention!

Right turn!

Two paces forward. March!

Head up, chin in.

Get those thumbs behind the seams of your trous... Oh!

Get them back, get them back.

Lower that left shoulder 1/8 of an inch.

That's much better.

Well, otherwise, you're looking very regimental, Din.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Thank you.

Was salute satisfactory?

That's the idea, only you want these fingers

to fan the eyebrows more like this.

The breeze from them fingers

ought to almost blow this eyebrow off.

Now, try it again.

Very good, indeed.

That one almost blew your turban off, didn't it?

Very regimental, Din.

Keep them at it, Sabodar sahib.

They may need it.

Atcha, Colonel sahib.

Tell the Sabodar to drill the men till sundown.

Where did you get the bugle, Din?

Please, sahib, I find when nobody looking.

Now, don't you know that's very naughty?

Please, sahib, don't take away.

Bugle only pleasure for poor bhisti.

Thank you, sahib. Thank you.

Sahib care to hear new call?

Not now, not now.

Now, er, very regimental, Din.

Company, attention!

Company, dismissed!

Let me see your tongue, Annie.

I'd like to try it Sergeant sahib.

Very old Indian remedy.

All right, go ahead.

But be careful now.

If anything happens to her, I'll...

Understand?

Cry my eyes out.

No, no, sahib!

Very little bit goes very long way.

Gulp it down.

Quick, quick.

Then you won't taste it.

You want your daddy to give it to you, don't you?

Daddy will give you the medicine.

THE ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

There! Be a nice girl, now.

You'll never be strong and big like Daddy.

If Daddy took a spoonful first,

Baby might do a patty-cake.

Oh, this is delicious!

Oh, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum,

yum, yum, yum, yum.

Oh, this is...

mmm!

All for a nice little elephant girl.

Oh, this is lovely, lovely, lovely.

You ain't so stupid as you look.

Oh!

Oh, that's better.

Annie, don't ever worry me like that again.

Oh, there you are, you two.

I've got letters for both of you.

Sergeant McChesney,

and, er, Sergeant Archibald Cutter.

Look what it says here. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

"Miss Emmaline Stebbins requests the pleasure

"of Sergeant Archibald Cutter's company

"at a - what's that - betrothal dance

"preceding her marriage to Sergeant Thomas Ballantine.

8.00pm Friday."

Hey, that's tonight!

A WALTZ PLAYS

I worried about you while you were away.

Perfectly awful things must have happened

at Tantrapur.

Well, it was rather touch and go there for a bit.

You haven't told me yet about it yourself.

No, I haven't, have I?

Well, I had to give my undivided attention

to the repairing of the wires.

Cutter and McChesney should have watched for the enemy,

but they were chasing butterflies or something.

We got to the river,

dived in, and escaped.

Oh, Tommy, you're so marvellous!

That's all there is to it, I suppose.

Oh, yes, on the last roof we almost lost McChesney.

His great elephant hoof crashed through and stuck.

How did you save him?

We sawed his leg off.

If you don't believe me,

look behind that shrub.

LIQUID GURGLES

Hey...save some for the elephant!

Destroy the evidence.

Stand guard, will you?

Yeah.

Ahem!

Never mind that, Sergeant.

Stand easy.

Good evening, Colonel.

Evening, Stebbins.

Good evening, Major.

How are you?

No formality.

We just dropped in to wish Emmy good luck.

That's very nice of you.

I'll bring Emmy to you, sir.

Looks like a jolly party, Sergeant.

Yes, sir. Very jolly, sir.

Is that a punch bowl you're shutting out?

Huh?

Is that punch? >

Some peoples calls it a punch, sir,

but I calls it swill, sir.

Nonsense.

Stebbins is famous for punch.

Have a spot.

Rather!

Excuse me, sir.

I wouldn't touch it if I was you, sir.

Too watery, sir.

It'll rot your stomach lining.

We'll be the judge of that.

Wait, sir. There's a fly.

I don't see a fly.

Neither do I.

There he goes.

He dove under the ice.

I'll get the little nipper in half a jiffy.

I got him.

Got him.

Hear him?

Hear him? Humming like a beehive.

He's gone.

Ain't that a shame?

There he goes.

Come along, Mitchell. We'll forget the punch.

Oh, Tommy, we have Sergeant Higginbotham to thank

for your being let out of the expedition.

That's right.

Colonel says I'm the only man sharp enough

to replace Sergeant Ballantine.

That's very flattering.

I'm only glad to be so some help in...

er, Cupid's service.

With Cutter and McChesney about,

you won't have one dull moment.

They don't like me. It's just as well.

The army's no place for sentiment.

Er, excuse me.

I've got a pebble in me left boot.

Hello, Higginbotham.

Hello.

How would you like to come with me?

What?

I'd like to discuss a few military theories.

Well, I'd like to have a little chat,

get to know each other better.

How about a bit of a drink, Bert?

Thanks, Cutter.

Where's Ballantine?

Never mind that civilian.

Here's Bertie Higginbotham, his replacement.

Mac, Bert's got a thirst like a Derby winner,

haven't you, Bert?

We can look after that.

Take a plunge into this punch.

Punch? That stuff's for drummer boys

and old ladies.

Not that stuff.

That would knock a horse down.

Swill that down,

and you'll think all the Thugs in India

is a bunch of missionaries.

That's right, Bert.

That's a funny thing.

That punch tastes all right.

That's all right.

Well, well, how about having another drink?

To the new comradeship - Mac and you and me

and the regiment for ever.

That's it, Bertie, me boy.

I'll drink to that.

All right.

Here's to good old Bertie Higginbotham,

the finest soldier

since William the blooming Conqueror.

William the Conqueror!

Well, down the hatch, boys.

Which of these two do you prefer? >

I don't know. Try them both - one for each window.

Don't be silly, darling.

It's as much your problem as mine.

These curtains are for your den, you know.

My den?

What's this, Sergeant?

Buying a trousseau?

We're buying curtains.

I thought it was underpants,

the kind worn in the tea business.

Will you two stop annoying Tommy?

I'd like to oblige, Miss,

but we're marching to Tantrapur,

and Tommy's marching with us.

But Higginbotham's replacing him.

The Colonel said...

Higginbotham's in hospital, Miss.

I grieve to say the man's a tower of pain.

Something he must have ate.

Or drank?

Sergeant Ballantine, fall in!

Oh, Tommy.

It's the Colonel's orders, Miss.

Tommy, your friends have engineered this behind your back.

Don't cry, darling.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

This is the 9th of May.

I'm going with you for five days,

but on May 14th, when my time is up,

whatever we're doing,

I'm going to knock you two apes' heads together.

Come on.

Pardon me, Madam.

Fall in!

Tommy.

Oh, your petticoat's showing.

SHOUTING ORDERS

Aich number! All's well!

Dho number!

All's well!

Tin number! All's well!

Char number!

All's well!

March number!

All's well!

Swing those picks there.

You think this is a strawberry festival?

Shake a leg with that pole.

Get it up there. At the double!

This is a fine time for things to go quiet.

Blast them Thuggs!

Why don't they come and give us a good fight?

Then Bal will be a pipe to re-enlist.

How can we get a nice little war going?

Here!

What if I blew up the Taj Mahal

or one of them sacred tombs?

You want to start the Indian Mutiny again?

Get your back into it! Hurry up!

He's even snarling at poor little Annie.

You can't work 24 hours a day.

In 24 hours my time's up.

I don't want anything undone to detain me.

He's tired.

Goes to show what a piece of dry goods will do.

A brilliant bloke like him, too.

Cutter, we got to do something.

Here.

Come here.

Here.

Shh, shh.

Well, what now?

Look, Mac. For four days we've been waiting

for them Thuggs to start something -

four days in this cruel heat and horrible tension.

What's that to do with Ballantine?

I'm coming to that.

Go on, go on.

Well...

Look, three hours from where we're sitting,

by a secret trail, there's a gold temple

waiting to be sliced away and carried off.

Cutter!

Have you started after this buried treasure again?

This one ain't buried.

According to Gunga Din, it's standing out in the open.

According to Gunga Din, eh?

I thought he might be at the bottom of this.

What's the idea of this lushing?

Give me that bottle.

Wait!

Just a minute.

McChesney, I'm here to speak,

and I'm going to have my say.

You want Ballantine to stay with us, don't you?

Of course.

All right. Just a minute.

It's as easy as parting your hair.

We take Bal to the temple, show him the gold,

and marriage and the tea business

will whizz from his mind.

Versus that you can't think of a single argument.

I'm warning you.

What's the matter with you?

I'm sick of it!

Now shut your trap.

You mean you won't go?

No!

And if you mention gold temples again,

I'll tear your back off with a shovel.

Very well, McChesney, you made your choice.

You turned down the chance to be a millionaire.

All right, I'm going alone!

Wait a minute!

Cutter, you ain't leaving this village

without my permission.

Give me that bottle.

I've been a soldier 14 years.

I know me duties.

You're not talking to a soldier now,

you're talking to an expedition.

I'm an expedition. Out of me way.

Cutter, sit down before I throw you down.

Make way for the expedition,

if you know what's good for you.

McChesney, goodbye for ever.

Stand back.

I'll throw you in the clink

if you make a move.

Out of me way before I split your jaw.

I'm warning you.

Come on, come on. Put 'em up.

Come on, come on, out of me way.

I'll bash your ugly face in.

Come on, come on.

Come on, put 'em up, put 'em up.

I'm afraid I have to do it.

Sergeant Ballantine!

What?

Come here.

He's taken with a dizzy spell.

Lock him up till he comes to.

I'm only sorry you didn't have a dizzy spell, too.

I'd lock you both up at the same time.

Sahib!

Good old Din, what's up?

Tonight, when everyone sleep,

Din go back again.

See gold.

You did? Where is it?

Didn't you bring any?

Bhisti cannot carry whole temple.

Whole temple!

Din see it. All gold.

Here?

We got to get out of here now.

Get me some tools to rip these bars out.

Already bring all tools could find.

Is this satisfactory, sahib?

Think I want to break out of a blooming pudding?

Get something big. Jeldi!

Here, here. Shh!

Uhpah, Annie, uhpah.

Please, Annie.

Uhpah, uhpah.

Uhpah. Jeldi.

ANNIE TRUMPETS

Uhpah.

What are you doing, Din?

A large tool you asked for, sahib.

Annie, Annie,

come on, pull these blinking bars out for me.

Work for me.

Get me out of here, Annie.

Be a good girl.

Whoa, Annie! Just the bars!

Whoa!

Annie!

ANNIE TRUMPETS

DIN SHOUTS IN HINDI

Hey!

Hey! Alert the guards!

Wake up!

What? What?

The Thuggs are here!

Why didn't you say?

GUNSHOT

Sergeant MacChesney.

What happened?

Dacoits slipped in and stole elephant.

Thuggs stole Annie!

Stole Annie? They'll stoop to anything. How many were there? Couldn't tell.

- Where did they go? - The hills.

Sound assembly. Sergeant, pick 16 men and follow me.

If this is another of your tricks...

Fall in the remainder! Put every man on guard duty!

Steal Annie, will they?

I'll break every Thugg's back in India!

Hey, Din, are you sure you're on the right trail?

Yes, sahib. Here is the bridge, sahib.

Here, is this bridge safe?

Oh, it's safe, sahib.

Safe? What do you mean, safe?

TRUMPETING Oh, Annie!

Annie!

Oh, Annie, Annie! Annie, Annie!

HE SHOUTS IN HINDI

Annie! Annie!

HE SHOUTS IN HINDI

Here! Make her stop that!

She's making me nervous!

TRUMPETING Annie! Annie!

Annie!

HE SHOUTS IN HINDI Whoa!

Get out of my way!

Get out of my way!

TRUMPETING

There's no time for that!

Annie! Annie! Annie!

HE SHOUTS IN HINDI Take your foot off, Annie!

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Annie, take your trunk off here!

Annie, please go back!

Whoo! Annie!

Aah!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Annie!

Whoo! That's gold, bugler. Gold.

Oh, look at it, bugler. Look at it.

That's yours and mine. That's yours and mine.

Archibald Cutter, the blooming Duke.

Look at me, and Rajah Gunga Din,

pouring diamonds out of that blinking water bag.

Sahib, bugle will be very satisfactory.

Ooh, come on, Din. The world is ours.

Move.

CHANTING IN HINDI

Kali!

Sahib, come quick.

CHANTING STOPS

Oh, Thuggs, lift up your faces

to the light that shines from Kali's throne.

Kali! Kali! Kali!

Oh, brothers in Thuggee,

we are the friendless of this earth.

Every man's hand is against us.

We have been kicked, spat upon,

and driven to the hills like wild things.

My father was a Thugg,

and he was hanged.

His father was blown from a cannon's mouth.

And what of your kinsmen,

your fathers and their fathers

and their father's fathers before them?

Oh, my brothers,

a new day is at hand.

I have read the omens, and they are good.

Three nights ago a jackal screamed upon the left.

Another answered from the right at once.

Kali! Kali! Kali!

What does that mean, my brothers?

It means that Mother Kali

with all her arms outstretched,

hugs us to her bosom,

welcoming us back as Thuggs...

Thuggs awakened from a sleep...

..of 50 years.

Let the neophytes

and their teachers draw near.

Where are the stranglers?

THEY SPEAK HINDI

Give them their strangling cloths.

Kali! Kali! Kali!

Give them their burial picks.

Kali! Kali! Kali!

Swear by our Mother Kali

to be thrice faithful to her and me and our order

and all of us.

THEY SPEAK HINDI

Rise, our new-made brothers.

Rise and kill.

Kill, lest you be killed yourselves.

Kill for the love of killing.

Kill for the love of Kali.

Kill! Kill! Kill!

THEY PRAY IN HINDI

It's them all right, Din,

the whole blinking lot of them.

Very bad men.

The Colonel's got to know.

You must get there, Din.

The Colonel's got to know.

The Colonel? I run quick.

# Since mighty roast beef is an Englishman's food,

# It accounts for the freedom

# That runs in his blood

# For generous living does it do all good... #

Excuse me, mates.

# Ta da da da da

# Oh, the roast beef of England!

# And, oh, the old English roast beef! #

Aye! Hey, sing us a song, will you?

Now, you're all under arrest...

the whole bunch of you. You, too. You know why?

Her Majesty's very touchy about having her subjects strangled.

All right, I can't waste any more time.

Wrap up your gear. You're coming with me.

HE SPEAKS HINDI

Well, if it ain't young toad-face.

Fancy meeting you here.

Vile dog.

For that insolence, you shall grovel before my son.

You shall grovel, I say!

Look, I'm a soldier of Her Majesty the Queen.

I don't grovel before any heathen.

Kabul, take him to the tower

and teach him the error of false pride.

Take him away!

In those drear grey hours before dawn,

just go out and chase elephants.

Beats counting sheep a million miles.

What do you mean, elephants?

This ain't elephants. This is Annie, my Annie.

I'll find her if I have to turn out

the whole British army.

Hey, what is this?

Good morning, gentlemen.

Good morning.

What the blazes are you here for?

I'm replacing Sergeant Ballantine.

Higginbotham, I could just fall on your neck.

I've got a better neck than mine to fall on.

Hello, there!

Tommy! Hello!

How wonderful of you to meet us.

I came here to surprise you. Here you are surprising me.

Good morning, Sergeant MacChesney.

Oh, good morning, Miss.

Here are Tommy's discharge papers.

Cutter will be very pleased.

Oh.

Column of threes!

Eyes front!

Sit up straight there!

Who do you think you are, a lot of nursemaids

in Hyde...Park?

Walk march!

Forward hut!

Party, halt!

Sergeant Ballantine, take charge.

Go inside. I'll be right there.

All right, but do hurry.

Annie. Naik, what about this?

He just came back, Sergeant sahib.

Come here! Come here, you!

Din, I knew you was at the bottom of all this.

Didn't you knock down the shed and take off Sergeant Cutter?

You'll answer me. We'll have our court- martial here and now.

Line up a firing squad.

You stole the elephant, didn't you? Answer me!

You knocked down a building

and liberated Her Majesty's prisoner, Sergeant Cutter!

Yes, sahib.

That's all! Take him away!

You Lazarusian beggar,

it'll be the firing squad for you this time!

Wait a minute, Mac. Where's Cutter?

Din, where is Sergeant Cutter?

They catch him.

What's that? Who?

In the gold temple, they catch Sergeant Cutter.

Who's they?

Bad men. They'll give him torture. Go help.

How many?

Don't know. I run away quick for help.

I'll bet you run quick.

You'll run back just as quick. Show me the way.

I'll pick 12 men.

You'll pick nothing! I'm going alone.

You haven't a chance.

They'll cut him up if they hear a rescue party.

Right. We'll go together.

No.

Tommy, what's the matter?

Cutter's in trouble. We're getting him out of it.

I ain't taking him.

I'm going as a Sergeant in the service.

I ain't taking any civilians.

Who's a civilian?

It says here, "Thomas Anthony Ballantine

"is restored to the rank of citizen of Great Britain."

You try and keep me out of this.

I'm saying goodbye, Bal,

and I wish you luck in the tea business

and your matrimony both.

Wait a minute, Mac.

Wait here. I'll talk to him.

But he said no.

He'll change his mind.

I won't let you.

I owe it to Cutter.

You don't love me.

Don't say that. You want me to always remember

that I ran out on my two best friends?

After what they did to Higginbotham?

That's just their way of showing their friendship.

I hate the army, but friendship, well, that's something else.

We're wasting time. You have to understand. I'll be back.

I want to talk to you.

I don't want to argue.

I'm going, if I have to shoot you and go alone.

If anything happens to you,

your girl would prefer charges.

She wouldn't, though.

I don't trust her.

There's only one way I'll risk it.

What's that?

For you to sign up.

When we get Cutter, we'll tear up the papers.

Is that fair enough?

No, you're getting clever.

Do you want me to get kicked out of the army?

OK, on one condition.

I hold the blank in my hand

and keep it after I'm through.

You don't trust me.

That's right.

All right.

What are you doing with that in your pocket?

I always carry one. In case.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Ha ha ha! No, you don't.

Not a word of this to Emmy, you understand?

Shake on it?

Hurry up.

Oh, excuse me, Miss.

Sergeant Higginbotham, Sergeant Ballantine and I

are going out on a reconnoitring expedition.

If we're not back by morning,

inform the Colonel, and you follow our trail.

Oh, I'm going, Emmy. He's changed his mind.

Who made him change it?

Reason and common decency.

You're lying.

Would I lie at a time like this,

just before our wedding? Be reasonable, darling.

You didn't sign anything?

Why ask that question? Do I look that stupid?

Pretend I'm going on a picnic.

That's all it amounts to.

We'll get Cutter out without firing a shot, just by strategy.

We've done this before.

It's just been fun.

Fun? You want to go.

Darling...

Sergeant Ballantine, fall in!

He called you Sergeant.

Why? You're not in the army.

A habit of his. I'll see you tomorrow.

Why don't you say you don't want to get married?

You'd rather be with him.

Why tell me you hated him and his ugly face?

I didn't say that. Be fair.

Please, sahib, hurry.

Come on!

Can't you wait?

I can wait. I'm not so sure about Cutter.

Can't you trust me? Kiss me.

No. Never.

They're probably slicing Cutter's ears off by now.

I'm coming, Mac!

Darling, please don't go.

The trouble is you don't want a man.

You want a coward who'll run out on his friend.

That's not me. I don't care how much I love you.

I'm a soldier... I mean, I'm a man first.

All right, get that silly smirk off your face.

All right.

Let's go.

Surely Mother Kali is kind, Fulad.

One Englishman fly walks in,

and now our web is baited.

More will follow.

Guru-ji, two more have crossed the bridge!

It is well.

Prepare.

You said this place was full of priests.

Sahib do not give Din chance to say.

You've got a mouth, ain't you?

Quiet. It's Kali.

A Thugg temple.

Why didn't you say they're Thuggs?

I should split you in two and stuff you in an elephant's trunk.

MacChesney-sahib roar so loud,

Bhisti cannot get a word sideways.

Enough of that. We're here to find Cutter.

Cutter!

We should have brought

every man in the regiment

and sent for more.

I only wish you had, sahib.

I'll show you!

HE SPEAKS HINDI

THEY SPEAK HINDI

Cutter sahib.

Hello, Din.

Fine work, bugler.

I knew you'd do it.

Thank you, sahib.

Hello, boy.

Hello, mate.

Well, you're alive anyway.

I'll chop you down right away.

You white-livered elephant-stealing treasure hunter,

hanging there like a lamb in a butcher's shop.

Where's the troop?

There's no troop, and the Guru has us.

We walked into it.

You mean you didn't bring the troop?

What a brain.

I round up every Thugg in India,

and you mess it up with that pygmy brain!

I couldn't face me own men

if I brought them here to witness your shame,

disgracing Her Majesty's uniform.

Shame?

They're doing this to find out where the column is.

They're planning to ambush and massacre the whole troop.

You didn't tell them?

Not me. > So you think you're a hero?

That's right.

A hero. Don't make me laugh.

Every man at the post's

looking for these blighters,

and I reconnoitre adroitly

and encounter them,

while you cowards hide behind your telegraphs.

Who's a coward?

Grr.

Untie him, will you?

Untie me.

I said untie him!

Sergeant Ballantine, untie that man!

You displease me, and I ignore the both of you.

I'll untie him meself.

Yes, excellent.

All right, I'll untie you.

Oh!

I owe you one, anyway.

Oh, mate.

Look at your back.

Never mind that. Untie my hands.

Look what they did to you.

Oh, I'm sorry, mate.

The fiends!

THEY SPEAK HINDI

The Guru!

Filthy scum.

Dog. Maniac.

Let's get him.

Right. Right. Right.

We'll grab him no matter what.

He's sacred. They won't shoot us.

Why, you hairless dog.

Look what you did to his back, you filthy...

A lesson in the error of false pride, Sergeant.

You're talking very proudly yourself.

Perhaps you're not too proud

to give a little information I seek.

I want to know about your army.

Why don't you enlist, mate?

Lash.

For a beginning, this is not bad,

three soldiers to be given to Mother Kali -

three soldiers and a slave.

Who is slave?

I am a soldier, too, please.

You're what?

Well, regimental Bhisti.

Oh.

Proud ox, where is your army?

How soon are they to follow?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Why don't you look in your crystal ball?

Make the ox talk.

You dirty pack of cowards!

Never mind him now.

He's next.

I'm waiting. Will you speak?

I don't know.

Hold on, Mac, old boy!

Stop.

Look.

See them down there...

coiling and wiggling,

sticking their pretty tongues out?

Are you going to speak?

Throw him in.

He'll talk from there.

No! No! I can't stand it!

Will you speak?

All right,

as long as I ain't kissed

by one of them snakes, I'll tell you.

Take me outside.

Be a man, Mac.

I can't go it, mates!

Come back, Mac, old boy!

Well, Sergeant?

Governor, I don't know the exact position of the troops,

but in Ballantine's pocket there's a paper

with all the troop movements in it.

You're sure of that, Sergeant?

As sure as taxes, governor.

I wouldn't fool you.

I hope not.

If you have,

there'll be worse than lashes.

Please don't lash me any more. Please?

I'll relieve you of these.

No!

No!

Cut him down.

"Sergeant Thomas Ballantine hereby re-enlists."

Oh, that's you, MacChesney,

always hiding behind regulations,

you Brummagem turncoat!

Now be gallant in defeat, Sergeant.

You're simply a victim of superior strategy.

Quiet, you Whitechapel scum,

or I'll cut your slimy hands off at the wrist!

I'll pay you back with horrible interest!

I command you to shut up!

Tell your men to lay down their arms

and get out of here,

or you're a dead kipper.

Lay down your arms...

and leave.

Where do those stairs go?

Not to freedom.

We'll see about that. Ready?

Ready. Right.

Sergeant Cutter, guard that door.

Right. Here, Mac, take your coat.

Get up there, you.

It's young toad-face,

blazing up the Thuggs.

I'll start with him first.

No, you won't.

Well, gentlemen,

what do you think of your freedom now?

All right, my friend,

if we've got to die, you've got to die, too.

As long as I'm alive, you live.

HE SPEAKS HINDI

What did he say?

He says he'll be unharmed.

He says to keep order,

be confident, and wait.

Congratulations. Sergeant,

on your knowledge

of our humble language.

That's enough.

Get under the shade

before you get sunstroke.

Get on back. Go on.

Wounds feel satisfactory, sahib?

I ain't had a more satisfactory set of welts

since I run away from home.

Thank you.

Fall in.

Come on.

Hey, get down.

Watch your head. Look out.

Din!

The gold!

Yes, sahib, gold!

Ooh!

Look at it, mates!

Gold! That's what it is!

Solid sunshine!

Sit down, you fool!

See that hand sticking out?

It's worth 3,000 quid if it's worth a farthing!

Who's a blinking idiot now, eh?

We're rich, mates! We're rich!

Come on!

All right, Mr wise man,

here's my last offer.

You order your men

to get in behind them rocks,

and you see us down as far as the bridge.

We'll let you loose, and there's no harm done.

How's that?

Speak, you ape, or I'll kill you.

You would throw away your shield,

brave soldier?

BAGPIPES PLAYING

Do you hear something, Bal?

The bagpipes, Mac?

Yeah.

I've heard them for hours, Mac,

but it ain't them.

It's this blistering heat

screaming in our ears

that makes it sound like that.

BAGPIPES CONTINUE

Oh, they'll pull us out, old boy...

If they can find the blasted place.

Don't waste any of your guff on me, Mac.

Here we are, and this is it.

It might have been worse.

I might have left a widow.

Eight feet away from where I'm sitting,

right here,

there's enough gold to make me sole owner and proprietor

of a pub as big as the Crystal Palace.

Best pub in Hampshire.

And here I am.

You torturer!

Setting that in front of me eyes.

Is there no limit

to the torture oriental minds think up?

So help me, if you mention gold again,

I'll tear the tongue out of your head.

Here it is! Get it!

Brave soldiers,

can it be that your nerves are tightening?

We'll stand it up here as long as you can,

Mr wise man.

Preserve your courage, gentlemen.

You are not forgotten.

They will come to save you.

That's right, mate.

You're going to see more soldiers

than you ever saw before.

Cutter.

BAGPIPES PLAYING

Ah, gentlemen, good news.

Here's a sight

that should make your hearts pound faster.

Look.

The Lancers.

Look at the Black Watch out in front.

Ah, those beautiful Scotties.

I'll buy them all a beer apiece.

Your comrades coming

chokes you with emotions.

Seeing them this way recalls to you

all manner of pleasant things -

the gaiety of barrack life,

old friendships,

even...England,

even...

home.

You bet it does, mister.