His Kind of Woman

This story didn't happen in Italy. It only started there - Naples, Italy -

in one of those big, quiet, peaceful villas overlooking the bay.

RADIO: 'And the Senator claims that he has been "misquoted".

'And here's a Society item from the New York plunderworld for our shortwave listeners.

'It's called "Where do old gangsters go to die?",

'or "Guess what upper crust crumb just bought a plushy villa overlooking the Bay of Naples".

'None other than the old boss, one-time gambling kingpin and vice Tsar of New York, Nick Ferraro!

'Nick has been in Italy for four years, since immigration authorities sent him back to his native Naples.

'But I'm giving odds that Ferraro is still head of the gambling and vice set-ups in the United States.

'He should be netting a cool 2m a year...'

Chiudi questa radio.

A cool two million bucks a year! It should be, if I was getting it.

Get me Corley in Mexico. Dove sta?

Call Jose Morro. Telefoni al sud di Mexico.

XFO, XFO, XFO. Questo e IJQ che chiama.

XFO, XFO, questo e IJQ. Per piacere, rispondete.

'IJQ, this is XFO standing by for you.' Eccolo qui.

Morro's Lodge is an elegant Mexican resort in Lower California, accessible only by plane or boat.

It was the kind of place Ferraro would pick for what he had in mind.

Deal's all set at this end. Just finishing up the details. Go ahead.

'Have you found the other one? Go ahead.'

We have him salted in Palm Springs. I'm flying up to meet Arnold in Beverly Hills tomorrow night.

The other one WILL be here. Go ahead.

'OK, I'll see you soon. Go ahead.'

Right. Signing off. XFO clear.

Ferraro? Yeah.

He's getting impatient.

-It isn't easy to get back into the US once you are deported.

-I

-know.

Who is this "other one"? A man will arrive at Morro's Lodge.

You will keep him here till the Tropic comes into the bay with Nick Ferraro, then you'll take him aboard.

This is Ferraro. He's a big man. Perhaps his easy life in Italy has made him soft.

He's around 195, but solid. Still young? 35.

This man you're sending down, does he know all about it? No, not everything.

That's how the story started.

Somewhere in California, there was a man. Height six-something, weight 195, age 35.

BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYS

-Good evening, Mr Dan.

-How's it going, Sam?

-Nothing to it.

-Just let me have a glass of milk.

Do you suppose we can do without that radio?

Where you been? I ain't seen you since the last rain.

-Palm Springs.

-Hustling the millionaires?

-I went to cure a cold, wound up doing 30 days.

-For what?

-For nothing.

-I don't get it.

-Well, I got it.

Somebody is putting the salt on me.

You can cuff it.

-Does it show that much?

-Only to me.

Got anything in mind?

-Yes, I have. I'm going to go home and go to bed where I can't get into trouble.

-You think not?

I'll see you all of a sudden, Sammy.

You need a fourth?

-Hello, Danny.

-Who are you?

I don't know you guys.

Ollie Chester wants the dough.

What dough?

You bet 200 across on a pig called Lagging Boy. That's just what he was.

Ollie wants the 600.

I made a bet with Ollie?

-He called it in.

-SOMEBODY called it in. I never bet on a race in my life that wasn't fixed.

-When did it run?

-Thursday.

-Last Thursday, I was digging a road for the law in Cochelo Valley.

It would be smarter just to come up with it.

Don't you think it would be nice if you boys cleaned up this mess before you got out of here?

Just come up with it.

PHONE RINGS Hello.

- Milner's here. - You know not to mess up his face?

OK. But don't rough him up too much.

OK, boys, that's enough.

Charlie, get my money.

PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Yeah, this is Milner.

No, I'm not busy, Corley.

No, I was just getting ready to take my tie off, wondering whether I should hang myself with it.

Yeah, I can come over. ..Sure. Right away.

Second light to the left.

-Nice to see you, Milner.

-Hello, Corley.

What'll you have to drink?

Oh, that's right. You don't drink.

How about a soft one?

Ginger ale will be just fine.

You look like a shot of something in it might help you a little.

Just the ginger ale is fine, thanks.

You got a dime on you?

Thanks.

-Still sore?

-You tell me why.

Every once in a while, a good man, like a good horse, gets into a slump. Just can't scratch the pad.

I knew you would understand.

You blew a bundle in Reno. In Vegas, they nicked you for six grand. In Palm Springs, they tapped you out.

-Tonight Chester had me spanked for nothing.

-Think this part of the world isn't lucky for you any more?

-Do you?

-Somebody does.

-Like who?

-Fellow named Arnold.

Who? And where is he?

Right here.

My proposition's a very simple one.

Well, I'm a very simple guy.

The deal entails two important items.

One you'll find extremely interesting, the other you may object to.

First, you'll make yourself 50,000.

And what's the one I'm going to object to?

You'll have to leave the country.

For how long?

Say a year?

Well, it just so happens I've given up my home here.

See? Already your luck's turning.

-Where does it change?

-Mexico.

You take a plane to Tucson, cross the border on a bus to Nogales.

Hernandez at the airfield there will give you your next step.

-Aren't you playing this a little close to the vest?

-You may change your mind en route.

Are you sure that privilege is open to me? After Nogales, what happens?

Nothing.

There'll be fishing, hunting, swimming. You'll be very comfortable.

-For that I get 50 grand?

-What's better than that?

-I'm just trying to understand it.

Here's 5,000.

You'll get ten more when you get where you're going.

-It goes to 50. That's all I can tell you.

-That's quite a bit.

-You lost your wallet.

-Well, an old friend!

Airplane tickets. Credentials.

You really believe in breaking a man down, don't you?

Just bending him a little, Milner, that's all.

I'm looking for a man named Hernandez.

I'm a man named Hernandez, senor.

I'm a man named Dan Milner. It's supposed to mean something to you.

-Pardon, senor?

-If it should come to you, I'll be in the cafe.

-Is it all right if I leave this?

-Si, senor. You wish a seat on the plane to Mejico City?

Who knows? Let's stick around and see, huh?

MUSIC PLAYS

What'll it be?

-You got anything to eat?

-Chilli.

And beans.

And beans.

# Five little miles from San Berdoo

# I woke up humming and thought of you

# I looked out the window what a view

# Five little miles from San Berdoo

# Four little miles from San Berdoo

# The porter shouted, "We're almost due"

# I saw familiar spots we knew

# Four little miles from San Berdoo

# Three little miles from San Berdoo

# My bag was packed and ready

# I said to myself, "Steady...

# "Two more miles and you're in heaven"

# One little mile from San Berdoo

# My heart was skipping a beat or two

# Oh, what a thrill when I saw you

# Waiting at the station down in San Be...

# San Bernardino, man!

# ..Berdoo! #

Ah, that was swell. Canto esto muy bonito, senorita.

-Gracias, gracias.

-Your Spanish is pretty good.

-Es nada.

-Hey, I loved that break. Will you try that again?

-PIANO PLAYS

-How about a drink?

-Not for me, but I'd like to buy her one. What's she drinking?

-Champagne, 18 a bottle.

-Thought she might be alone.

-She is.

-You said 18? And the chilli, there's 20.

-Save your dough.

-You tell me a better way to spend it.

-She's just waiting for a plane she chartered.

Just the bottle, then.

HE PLAYS PIANO WITH ONE FINGER

Do you mind if I join you?

-It seems you have.

-You sing pretty good. I thought I'd buy you a drink.

-I'm drinking champagne.

-I'm ahead.

18 a bottle.

Not for me.

-Champagne's not your drink?

-Only on big occasions.

-This isn't?

Can't be. You're waiting for a chartered plane.

Are you in the oil business or just spending your alimony all at once?

-I'm a spoiled child of the rich.

-How do you do! I'm a spoiled child of the poor.

Senorita! It is here, senorita.

-Are you sure it's the right one?

-Si. The pilot is my friend.

-Just a minute.

Gracias, muchas gracias.

You're sure you want to go now?

-Mm-hm.

-You chartered the plane, didn't you? He can wait.

-But

-I

-can't.

Wait a minute!

You forgot your bottle.

You keep it. It may have a little resale value.

-Mr Milner?

-Yes.

-Your plane is waiting. It was very late. That's why...

-Nobody minds.

-Where's this plane taking me?

-You are joking, senor?

-I don't think so.

-It's the Morro's Lodge plane, senor.

Mr Milner?

-Yes. And you?

-Tex Kearns.

The pilot. Your bag's on the plane. Sorry I'm so late. These winds...

I know. Things are tough all over.

Anyhow, you'll get to see Morro's Lodge from the air in the morning sun. Quite a sight.

-You hop in. I'll be right with you.

-Thanks.

Well...hello again.

-May we join you in your plane?

-Did I say I chartered it?

-Didn't you?

-Didn't you say something about being poor?

-That was for real.

-Morro's isn't the place for you, then.

-Somebody bought me a ticket.

And you? Are you for real? You sing like you do it for a living.

Thanks. I'd rather sing than clip coupons,

-but I have 1m, so no-one takes me seriously.

-With 1m, it doesn't matter.

Will you fasten your seat belts, please?

Don't you have a name?

-I figured you already knew it.

-Should I?

-No, I guess not.

-I was just shooting the moon. It's Milner, Dan.

-Mine's Brent, Lenore.

-What did you expect to hit?

-You never can tell.

-What's Morro's like?

-I couldn't tell you. This is my first visit.

I spend most of my time on the Continent - Europe.

LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC PLAYS

-Yes, sir?

-Ginger ale, please.

I'm Jose Morro.

Hello. Won't you sit down?

-Did you find your cabin completely acceptable?

-Well, I found it.

-Is there anything I can do for you?

-I was sort of hoping you'd ask that.

I recently came into some money.

This nice new 1,000 bill is part of it. I'm told there'll be more.

-What do you wish to buy with this?

-Whatever it's worth. A helping hand? Information? ..About her.

Well, hello, Liz! Where did you come from?

Sorry, wrong name. Wrong woman.

-She is beautiful AND interesting.

-Beautiful is always interesting.

-She has an impeccable background.

-What's that?

-Boston, New York, Rome, Paris, St Moritz.

-I understand you are from California.

-Yes, Ramona, LA, Glendale...Thanks.

I'm afraid this is rather difficult.

-Your reservation was arranged by Mr Arnold and I'm not the man to question him.

-No, neither was I.

-In the interests of my clientele, I am curious...

-About my character.

Forgive me. I'm a hotel keeper.

Not at all. I welcome it. I'm a professional gambler.

-Who isn't?

-I'm not here on business. I came down for a sun bath.

-Don't take too much the first day.

-No.

I just thought it would be nicer if we understood each other.

We'll keep it very nice.

Morro! How about some gin rummy? Sorry, Mr Winton, but I have no time.

-How about you?

-Don't play.

-He doesn't play gin rummy!

-What's your card game?

-I don't play at all.

-Excuse me, please.

Give me a glass of beer.

ORCHESTRA PLAYS "Jealousy"

You're Milner, aren't you?

-Yeah.

-I'm Winton - Pipps and Winton, investment brokers.

-I bury my money in the ground.

-Seems I've heard of you, Milner.

-Well, must be another Milner.

-That's your best guess.

-You came down on a plane with Lenore Brent.

-You know her?

-I met her at St Moritz. I guess that's where it got started with Cardigan.

-You haven't heard about the thing with Mark Cardigan?

-I've never even heard of him!

-I know you're kidding.

-I'm not.

-You're probably wondering what a man like myself is doing in an odd place like this.

-No.

-Well, I'm hiding from business and it is rather an inaccessible place down here.

-Yes, but why odd?

It isn't the place, it's the people. Now, you see that man over there?

He's Martin Krafft - a writer, but all he does is play chess.

-That's odd?

-He doesn't play anybody.

-Maybe he hates to lose.

-Never thought of that.

What's with that little blonde?

She is pretty, isn't she?

Scared to death.

-Of the kid with her?

-No. That's her husband - so she said.

It's just that there's something in the air. You know what I mean?

-Excuse me. I always take a nap before dinner.

-You sleep with your eyes open or shut?

It's worth trying anyhow.

Can I order you something?

What?

My, we're so nervous. What's wrong?

-Nothing. I'm all right.

-It might help to talk about it.

-No, please.

I've got a problem, too. Maybe we could help each other.

-We should never have come down here.

-All right, why shouldn't you?

I'm all right now. Thanks.

Mr Krafft...I'm Dan Milner. I play a pretty fair game. Do you suppose that's why Arnold sent me down?

I cannot always comprehend the use to which Americans put their language.

I'm having the same trouble with you.

Hi.

-Leaving?

-My bungalow costs 75 a day. I thought I'd spend some time in it.

-I thought we might dance.

-How's your friend?

-What?

-The guitar player. He knows you.

-He thought so. Maybe he does. I sing at the drop of a hat.

-Even if you have to supply the hat.

-Exactly.

-Will that dance offer still be good in an hour?

-You could try me.

-Fine.

-I'm sorry.

-I should look where I'm going. You're new around here, aren't you? I'm Mark Cardigan.

-Dan Milner.

-How are you? Milner, do you like to hunt? I'm looking for just one man who likes to hunt.

-Yeah, I like to hunt all right.

-You do? Well, I've hunted 'em in Wyoming, Idaho, Canada and Alaska,

-and they were big, but down here, they've got the daddies of 'em all.

-Deer?

A 12-point buck eluded me for a week. Yesterday I nailed him.

-Let's try for his brother.

-Got a grudge against the family?

-Mark!

Mark!

I've got a little Winchester you can use.

-The kinda shooting you get...

-You're being paged.

-Yeah.

I'll talk to you later.

-Hello, Mark.

-Hello, my darling.

Not here. Later when we're alone.

-Mark, why didn't you write to me? I wouldn't have blackmailed you.

-Nothing matters now you're here.

Tell me all about yourself. This is a wonderful place. You should see the buck I killed yesterday.

-You'll see the pictures. Morro's making a scrapbook of what I kill.

-Yes, he mentioned it.

-He said that given the time, you might rid the world of all animal life.

-I'm like the plague!

I know you were trying to needle me, but you can't. You're the only one who ever loved me for my REAL self.

Look! What does that remind you of?

-The ocean.

-Don't you remember Miami and the first time we ever met...?

All right, all right.

It was...St Moritz. You skied then, but that night you sang to the accompaniment of the zither.

-That's better.

-I've forgotten a lot, but I'll never forget you.

Let's open a bottle and celebrate your coming.

Senor Cardigan is the greatest of all cinema actors.

Only today he favoured me with his autograph upon an American 10 bill.

Naturally now I can't spend it.

-That's tough.

-Yes.

-What are you going to do with that bottle?

-Excuse me. I have to put it on ice.

- I'm warning you. He will make us trouble. I know the type. - I don't think so.

Within 24 hours...

CONVERSATION BECOMES INAUDIBLE

You stick to your chess. I'll take care of him.

Mr Morro, please.

-'Yes?'

-Hello, Morro.

This is Milner. I may go social. Who has the cabin next to mine?

-A Mr Thompson is your neighbour, sir.

-Do you know anything about Thompson or his friend Krafft?

Mr Thompson is, I believe, a public relations man. Mr Krafft is a writer.

-Is everything all right?

-I'll let you know. Which is Krafft's cabin?

-Mr Krafft is in cabin one.

-Thank you.

What IS it you want?

-I'd like to have a little chat with you and your friend Thompson.

-You are crazy man!

-I don't know you and I can't help you.

-Do you know Thompson?

-No.

-Now I think we can do business.

I don't like this any better than you do. What happens and when?

I don't know why you are here or why I am here. One needs patience when dealing with certain men.

I'm all out of patience.

OK, so you've got the difference. I wonder if you're prepared to use it.

-I see no reason why I should.

-You're wrong. I want information and I'm beginning not to care how I get it.

Why don't you cool off?

-That could be a mistake.

-I don't think so.

My job is to keep you and Krafft here. That's all I know.

Within 24 hours, somebody will come in. They'll tell you why you're here.

The more I hear, the less I like.

-In fact, the less I believe.

-Oh, you can believe this.

10,000.

-If you don't mind, my friend Mr Krafft and I were about to play some chess.

-One more question.

-Why was I tabbed for this?

-Maybe because you never got in bad trouble.

-You mean with the Federal Police?

I doubt if they'd give you 50,000 for a misdemeanour.

Look, Milner, I'm ignorant.

Happy to be that way.

Just how ignorant are you?

That Brent girl, for instance. Is she in this?

This is no time to get mixed up with a woman, especially someone else's woman.

XFO calling Tropic. XFO calling Tropic. Come in, please.

'This is Tropic. Go ahead.'

Nick, what's keeping you? Go ahead.

'We're in a bad storm. You'll get it soon. What's wrong?'

Milner's getting jumpy. He may try to leave.

'Don't let him. Keep him there.'

Right. Better contact me in code from now on. XFO over and out.'

Hi.

Will you open this for me?

-Thanks. I hear Cardigan caught a fish.

-I devoted half the morning to watching him do it.

-He and Morro are photographing it now.

-You don't like fish?

-Mm-hm.

-On a plate with sauce and white wine.

-Somebody's got to kill 'em.

-Mark's fish are stuffed, not eaten.

-I was the best back my college ever had.

-Look at that.

Your husband can't do this.

I'm a little out of practice. I used to be able to do 20 of those for a pretty little thing like you.

-Love comes to Wall Street.

-Don't be so cynical.

Here, put some oil on my back, will you?

Go on!

That's nice. You've got good hands.

-You like it nice.

-Uh-huh. I always had everything nice.

My grandfather had millions, but you'd like him in spite of it.

-I could like him FOR it.

-He gave me 1m, so he could say every guy I met was after my money.

-Were they?

-He'd have loved you for that snide crack.

Are you going to the movie tonight? It's Mark's latest.

Why not?

That was real nice.

-You should have been a masseur instead.

-Instead of what?

-Instead of whatever it is you do.

I make a little bet on the horses sometimes, but I play cards mostly.

-I've an old maid aunt who does the same thing.

-I make a living at it.

Sounds like a well-spent life. Morro implied you were a gambler.

The way I do it, it isn't gambling.

-You cheat?

-You don't have to cheat.

-We ought to get along fine. I'm a gambler myself.

-Oh? How high do you like to play?

If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

CLAPPING >

'Sir Godfrey!'

Lady Gwendoline! Nought is between us. I take thee now with honour.

-A thrilling performance!

-Thank you, my dear.

-Your best picture ever.

-Thank you.

-My wife thinks you're wonderful.

-Thank her for me.

That was a very fine movie. They ought to forget social matters.

People don't go to the movies to see how miserable the world is, but to be happy!

-What did you think of it?

-It had a message no pigeon would carry.

-In my studio, all messages are handled by Western Union.

-Don't take his opinion on anything.

-He's an intellectual. I have an idea for a movie...

-Excuse me.

I'm an investment broker. A lot of hidden romance...

What did you think of the picture?

-It was a little long, about 1½ hours.

-She hates everything I do.

-She likes YOU.

-I don't understand that.

-If she liked me, I wouldn't try to understand.

-Esteban!

-Scotch o liso, por favor.

-I don't understand.

-Scotch and soda.

-Oh!

-Look...er...

-Milner.

-That's right, Milner.

-What about tomorrow morning?

-What about it?

-The hunting! I'll root you out about five.

-Five?!

-He shoots them as they crawl out of bed.

-If you'd use that needle to sew with, you'd be much happier.

-OK?

-It's all right with me, but Morro says there's a storm brewing.

-A chubasco - a hurricane.

-Oh-h!

Don't look so dismal, darling.

You can dig a hurricane shelter and shoot from that, then you won't have to spend the day with me.

-Now what did I do?

-You looked dismal.

-Dismal?

-Hello, Harry.

-I give away everything but secrets, Liz.

-I know.

-I never thought that Liz Brady would turn out to be a phoney.

It's nice to know I'm right.

Liz Brady went to Europe with a USO troupe. She never came back.

That's too bad. She was a real nice kid. She sang nice too.

-Lenore Brent sings.

-Really?

-Uh-huh.

-Would you?

-Sure.

-That'd be like old times.

Harry, I'm sorry about yesterday. I hated myself all day.

-Forget it, kid. You had your reasons. Mind if I ask how you came into all the dough?

-All what dough?

-If I don't hook my man in two weeks, I'll be hitting you up for a job.

-You'll probably get it.

Come on, baby.

-What'll you have?

-Nothing, thanks.

-Why don't you drink?

-I might forget what I'm doing.

# You'll know

# When it happens, you'll know

# You'll need no-one to tell you

# When it happens, you'll know

# And though...

# You've been fooled in the past

# When you meet with your real love

# You'll surrender at last

# Those dreams you've planned

# All at once will come true

# He'll take your hand

# And there's nothing that you can do

# You go

# Where he wants you to go

# You need no-one to tell you

# When it happens

# You'll know-ow. #

Excuse me.

-What's your husband doing? Playing unlucky?

-Mm-hm.

-That's what it was before, huh?

-Yes, but... Well, he didn't mean to.

-He loves to play and they practically insisted.

-Who insisted?

Winton?

Yes.

-He's been so nice to both of us.

-Especially you.

-Maybe.

Anyway, I told Milt to go ahead and play. It is our honeymoon, and we don't have much money.

-Go on.

-He just lost more than we had and we wrote a cheque.

-I know it's terrible, but Mr Winton made it all so easy.

-Winton has the bad cheque?

-Uh-huh.

-I think he has an idea that you could get it back.

-We couldn't ask him for it.

-I said YOU.

Forget it.

Cards are shuffled. Everybody, ante up.

Money loves money. If you're going to win the whole scam, you might as well win me too.

Deal me in.

-Cut?

-Take your best shot.

-How do you stand?

-Not so good.

-Too bad. Maybe I'll bring you luck.

I wish something would.

Jack's the bet at open. ..You open?

-If I didn't know better, I'd think this wasn't on the square.

-Open?

Give him something to shoot for!

-You've got the best hand.

-And you?

- I'll stay. - Stay. - I'm in.

All right, and 50 more.

Well, we're going to have to play this pretty shrewd.

-And back 50.

-That's me out.

Stay.

-Little too steep for me.

-And you?

And...

once more.

-Do you mind if I back him a little?

-It's only money.

-Thanks.

-Cards?

-May I take the cut now?

-Certainly.

-Thank you.

-How many?

-Three.

None for the dealer.

-We bet 100.

-Without looking?

It's more fun that way.

All right. And up.

Well, if you're betting leather, Mr Winton, we call.

-But there's 1,000 inside my leather.

-And 1,000 inside MY leather.

Kings four.

Well!

-Do you think we ought to look?

-Do you?

-It's your hand.

Ace.

Ace.

Three aces. >

Queen. >

Four aces. Well, what do you know? I brought you luck.

Now don't crowd it.

Four aces!

That's incredible!

All right, he got even. Now get him out of there.

Morro.

I'd like to have a word with you.

Certainly. Come into my office, please.

Morro, have you any idea when Tex will be flying up to Nogales?

-Considering weather conditions, perhaps tomorrow.

-I was wondering when to expect the man

-that Arnold is sending down to do business with me.

-Business? Forgive me...

-You're just a hotel keeper.

'Morro's Lodge, Lusk calling. Over.'

Come in Mr Lusk. This is Morro's Lodge. Over.

'Request landing instructions. Your field. Over.' What's your position, Mr Lusk? Over.

'125 miles southeast of Santa Rosalia and 8,000 feet over Mexico. Over.'

Correction. You're 8,000 feet over the Gulf of California.

Tell him to go back to Santa Rosalia. Go back to Santa Rosalia.

You can't land here. We're expecting a big storm tonight. Over.

-'I'm short of gas and out of Scotch. I'll find your field. Over and out.'

-Who is this clown?

-A lunatic in a private plane. Sounds drunk.

-Flying tonight, he has to be.

Morro's Lodge calling Mr Lusk Come in, Mr Lusk! Over.

Calling Mr Lusk! Come in, Mr Lusk! Over.

I guess he's broken contact, Mr Morro. I ought to go to the field.

Can I come in?

Why not?

-I saw your light and I didn't think you were the kind who slept with it on.

-I'm starting that tonight.

-Why?

Where's your friend William Tell?

Bed, I suppose. He still intends getting up at five.

-Don't you dampen it first?

-Oh, it's an old habit.

-When I have nothing to do and I can't think, I iron my money.

-What if you're broke?

-I press my pants.

You know, one time a dame walked into my room, just like you did.

-She'd been out in the rain. I pressed her dress dry.

-What did she do?

-Poured me some coffee.

-I think you're the strangest man I ever knew.

-You don't know me.

-What do you want me to do? Leave?

-I want you to pour the coffee!

I've never been so bored in my whole life. Maybe I ought to go home and iron my own money.

If you didn't have so much.

-For two cents, I'd leave tonight.

-That's all the change I've got.

Look, in the cool of the morning, the farmer'll get his cow back.

-You've had a little beef, tomorrow you'll be rid of it.

-Tomorrow his wife arrives.

-Uh-oh.

I didn't know he had a wife.

When I first met him, she was planning a divorce. She went to Reno three months ago.

I thought by now... Is it that funny?

I was playing high card with this guy. I got him up to 30,000 and discovered neither of us had a dime.

AEROPLANE APPROACHES

-Who's that idiot?

-I think it's somebody who wants to see ME real bad.

Tell 'em to put up more flares. Pronto con las luces!

Welcome to Morro's Lodge, Senor Lusk. For a while, we thought all was lost.

It's still lost, senor. It's been lost for 10,000 years.

You see how it is. Fools get away with the impossible.

That's because they're the only ones who try it.

Where have you been? I looked for you all day.

I stayed in bed. Nimrod went hunting again.

-I'm afraid I was a little out of my precinct last night.

-With me?

Yeah, with you.

Do you want me to forget it?

-I want you to forget it.

-It's forgotten.

-I lost my...

-It's forgotten, isn't it?

-Fine.

-Where is Mr Cardigan?

-How should I know?

I'm sorry.

Were you in love with me last night?

Yeah.

But tonight you're not. I guess that's the way I affect people.

-Maybe it's just that you affect the wrong people.

-Shall we forget it again?

I have to.

Well, there she is, right on schedule.

Splendid, but I wish you'd do one other little thing for me. Anything.

-Be quite a surprise for Cardigan.

-Surprise?

-She asked Morro not to tell Mark she was coming.

But he told me. The idiot's bringing her over here!

I'd like you to meet our newest arrival - Mrs Cardigan.

-This is Miss Brent and Mr Milner.

-How do you do?

-I seem to have heard of you.

-I met your husband in Europe.

-He meets so many women.

-That's the price of fame.

-Well, it's a living.

-Would you like to dance?

-I'd hate it, but under the circumstances.

-Forgive us.

I don't want to dance. Take me out of here.

-It's a good thing you're so rich.

-Is that supposed to mean something?

Any rich dames I've met have a terror of talking about their dough.

-Maybe they feel guilty.

-Maybe you don't.

Maybe the fact that Cardigan's married doesn't worry you.

If I was a phoney, you'd still have no right to that rock in your hand.

Excuse me, senorita. Senor Cardigan wish that you come to his cabin. You too, senor.

-Now comes the showdown.

-No. When that happens, he won't invite me.

Let's go see what he wants.

HE WHISTLES TO HIMSELF

KNOCK AT DOOR

Come on in, my friends. Get a load of this.

You never tasted duck like this one a-la-Cardigan,

-soaked in sherry with only salt and sage and pepper.

-Butchered by the chef himself.

-Shot, my pet.

Mix yourselves a drink while I put this on.

It's a pretty weapon.

-A gift from his fan club.

-Darling, would you set the table for three?

-I'll set it for four.

-Got somebody else coming?

-YOU have.

-Who?

-A Mrs Helen Cardigan.

-Fine.

Who?

-Who?

-Your wife. Surely you remember her?

Oh.

Here?

-She here?

-She here.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Isn't somebody going to answer it?

-Come right in.

-I'm looking for Cardigan.

-Gerald, this is a real surprise! Come on in.

-I did wire you five times.

-Oh, were they from you?

-If you'd opened them, you might have found out.

-Lenore, meet my personal manager Gerald Hobson. This is Lenore Brent and Dan...

-Milner.

-How do you do?

-I suppose you know Helen is here.

-Yes, she didn't...

-..get the divorce? No. Lucky for you. The papers've had a field day.

-Why?

-It seems the male half of America's most happily married couple has made a fool of himself with a dame.

-Me.

-Who is happily married?

-Very few, but you're a victim of your own publicity and you're getting older.

-So is my ten-year-old nephew.

-Your contract won't be renewed if this is still going on.

-Maybe I should go.

-Nothing is private in Hollywood.

-I know. You just work there.

-Gerald, I owe you a lot,

but I'm not a kid trying to get a break. It's time I lived my own life. Helen and I are incompatible.

-I have a right to my happiness, too.

-How happy will you be without a contract?

-I brought Helen here. You're going to be reconciled. People take marriage seriously.

-I do too, but...

-What?

Yeah, but what? Tell him about us. Tell him how this is different.

Yes, Gerald, this is different. I know you won't believe me, but I've never been in love before.

What's happening here?

-Are you looking for a settlement?

-Cardigan's in no position to refuse one.

-Obviously.

May I go now, or would you like it from me too?

And it was going to be such a beautiful dinner!

# I'm a rambling wreck from Georgia Tech... #

Really!

I'm a social outcast. Nobody's speaking to me.

-What would you like to talk about?

-Myself, naturally.

-That's just what I wanted to talk about.

-Why don't we get out of here?

-I'm scared to walk.

-Lean on me.

-Let's go over to your drink and shake it up.

-You're making sense.

-# For he's a rambling wreck from Georgia Tech... #

-He sure is.

You don't have to hold me up, buddy.

-I was the greatest scatback that ever lost to Notre Dame.

-You drink like a B girl.

-What did you say?

-You drink like a B girl.

I'll pull the blinds.

-I didn't think you were buying it.

-I would have, but I was expecting you.

-You weren't expecting me.

-Well, somebody. It turned out to be you.

-Wrong. Your man hasn't shown.

-Everybody's so cagey.

-Wrong again.

I'm not being cagey. Maybe I'm being a bit simple, but I'm going to gamble with you.

-I only gamble on sure things.

-You don't even know why you're here! I do.

-Keep dealing.

-I'm a cop.

-What kind?

-Federal. Immigration service.

-I'm losing interest.

-I think you'd like to get clear.

-You can, in return for a little cooperation.

-Get clear of what?

-What would Arnold want with you?

-Does that not make you wonder?

-It makes me sleepy.

-A man wants into the States. He doesn't care how he does it.

-Anybody I know?

-Everybody knows him. Get it?

-No.

-You're the patsy. A boat will sail into the bay here.

-When it leaves, you'll be on it, but "Milner" will go back to the States.

-He'll be recognised if he's so big.

Krafft may be a writer and he looks like a chess player, but in 1935 he was admitted as a plastic surgeon.

-In 1940, he was deported.

-That's a very interesting story.

-You still don't get it?

-No. You were a drunk, now you're a cop...

-OK, play it your way.

-I'm on a vacation!

I hope you enjoy it. It may be the longest one you ever take.

Hey, if you'd lock your door, you wouldn't lose things.

Nor find them.

That's probably the nicest thing you've said to me.

Instead of walking out to sea, I came here.

-Do you still have our champagne?

-Is it a big occasion?

Are you going to apologise for this one?

No.

This could be goodbye.

You're leaving?

-I'm not sure.

-You're in trouble. I think I've known it from the beginning.

-Everybody's in trouble.

-I don't suppose you want to talk about it...

-Tomorrow.

-You make it sound like it's for ever.

-Did Thompson see you leaving the Lodge?

-Who's Thompson?

Wait a few minutes before you walk out of here. I don't want us to be seen together.

Don't look so trapped, Mark. Surely you didn't intend to marry her?

-I don't intend to hurt or embarrass her either.

-You hurt and embarrassed me.

-Reno was your idea.

-Did you really believe I'd divorce you?

-Why not?

-Oh, Mark!

-You're not going to tell me you're in love with me.

-All right, I won't.

But we've developed a tolerance for each other. At Reno, I decided that was the next best thing...

-for both of us.

-I've never settled for second best.

And don't be so sure I'm not in love.

May I help you, Mr Milner?

You might.

Can you tell me where Thompson is?

Yes. He's playing poker with some of the other guests.

Thanks.

Thought I was supposed to treat you like typhoid Mary.

-I think things are under control.

-Were you looking for a gun back in the cabin?

-I know where it is.

Are you too proud to ask for help?

-Mr Milner? I haven't had a chance to thank you for what you've done for us.

-Well, you have now.

-We're leaving in the morning. If you ever get to Indian Springs, that's Ohio, look us up.

-I will.

Mr Milner, I'd like to ask you something...do something. Milton says it's all right.

Goodbye and thank you.

Goodbye and thank YOU.

Goodbye, Mr Winton.

Yeah, goodbye.

Well, how about a nice big kiss from you now?

I forgive you and for those four aces, too, if you'll give me a return shot, say gin rummy?

-Later.

-Why not now?

-He needs time to limber up his fingers.

-Limber up his fingers!

Come on, let's get outta here.

Kill that light.

Very embarrassing situation. For both of us.

I'm fascinated by radios. I think they're here to stay. You may not be.

RADIO BEEPS Sit down.

Come in, Tropic.

Come in, Tropic. Over.

Check-in one hour. Over and out.

I suppose you understood that. Time of arrival.

You're a little out of your precinct, aren't you, even for a Federal man?

Down here, you're just a private citizen like me.

Not like you. Let's not be bitter.

It's just a game, somebody wins, somebody loses. Are we right about who's coming in?

Suppose you tell me? Your big boss is on a boat, only he can't get into the States.

He'll trade places with someone. Go on.

Milner's a lone wolf, without friends or relatives.

He's kept under cover all his life. A guy like that'll never be missed.

You're making quite a speech. On the boat, Dr Krafft does some plastic surgery on your man's face.

He takes Milner's name and identity and the real Milner disappears.

- Why worry about Milner? - I'm sorry I asked.

Too bad we'll both die for something so rotten.

I've never been in that direction. I've been the other way, but I'd like to be going that way...

tomorrow...now.

Why? What's out there?

Islands. Samoa and Tahiti.

-Bikini?

-You're such a wise guy.

You're not going to find a thing except yourself.

I'd even like finding that.

Come on, let's walk on the beach.

SHE HUMS TO HERSELF

Sing it.

What's the matter? Are you going sentimental?

-I remember the first time I saw you, you were singing.

-Is this supposed to be the last time?

-Maybe.

# Five little miles from San Berdoo

# I woke up humming and thought of you

-# I look... #

-Stay here.

Is he dead?

When we get back, see about getting yourself out of here - tonight.

-Why?

-Because he was murdered.

-He was no two-bottle boy on a binge, he was a government cop.

-Stop trying to scare me.

-I happen to be a little scared myself.

-Why should I miss the fun?

-You can't buy your way out of this.

I don't want to see you get hurt. Go back to your cabin and stay there.

Easy does it!

Come on out, boys.

You live carefully.

-Who's this one?

-A man have to have a name for you?

-OK, so you're a man.

-Who are you waiting for?

-You.

-Then you don't need the gun.

-It keeps me occupied.

-There's a man waiting for you on a boat out there.

-I know. He hasn't got a name either.

-No matter where you get it, money can buy just so much.

-There are some things it doesn't buy - like murder.

You only had to get on that boat and sail away. Could've been a nice trip.

I wouldn't care for it. When Milner goes home, it'll be me. Your money is in that drawer, less expenses.

-There isn't time. Put the gun down. The man behind you has a bigger one.

-Have him introduce himself.

We've met before.

Lusk knew about me, Thompson. I'm no good to you any more.

You need to find a different place, different boy.

-Maybe, but you're still going to the boat.

-Dan!

Dan?

Get rid of her...out there.

-I told you not to come around here any more.

-I brought you a gun.

-Give it to Cardigan. He likes guns.

-What's the matter with you?

-It'd take a long time to say.

-All right, I stole the gun for you.

-Just take it.

-Will you get outta here?

I spent six months and lot of money to try and get Mark Cardigan.

I was ready to kiss it all goodbye for you.

-Big mistake.

-Wasn't it though?

-Thanks for straightening me out. You do it so nicely.

-It was nothing.

-Take this. I can't sneak it back.

-Give it to Cardigan.

-It...

-He knows how to use them. He'd like that one.

Give it to Cardigan.

There are a lot of places in the world. They all have women in them.

-The government's got a few places that don't.

-All clear. >

You heard the man.

I see. Thank you.

-That was Morro. Lusk was murdered.

-What?

-The plane's out of commission

-and there's a boat in the bay that shouldn't be here. Neither should we.

-Well!

-I'll lock the door.

-Mark, do something!

-Like what?

-They're taking Dan out to that boat.

-Who are they?

-Maybe he's leaving.

-I wasn't talking to you. Mark, he's in trouble.

-We are to stay indoors.

-Let me think.

-That's a first. I do your thinking for you.

-Do you want to go out there for me?

-I have a wife.

-Shut up.

-You have one, too.

-"Now might I do such bitter business the earth would quake to look upon."

-Hamlet!

This is no time for histrionics.

"What fools you mortals be."

< Shine the light over here!

Take the light. Give me that rifle.

There he is!

Hold the light on him!

You lost him.

Here. Give me the light.

(Hey, Milner! It's me, Cardigan.)

Here. Take this. Follow me.

Stay with me. This is my private hunting ground. I know it like an owl knows his tree.

Oh!

What do you know? I'm really wounded!

It's OK.

Do you mind telling me who I'm shooting at and why?

If this was a movie, you could ask 'em, but their guns are loaded.

All my life I've suspected myself of being a phoney.

Half of it, I've been acting. 100 lives and 100 stories, all phoney.

-This is the only time the guns were loaded with anything but blanks.

-How does it feel?

-Just fine.

-Is that why you're here?

-Partly.

-What's the rest of it?

-She asked me to come.

-Are you in love with her?

-My wife tells me I've never been in love with anything except myself.

-Who has?

-People have.

-Can I go out there and bring him ashore?

-Who?

-The guy on the boat.

-You know him?

-Must be Nick Ferraro.

-Ferraro?

-It figures.

-What has Ferraro got against you?

-He likes me. He wants to be me.

Lusk knew. That's why he's dead.

-Where does that leave us?

-In a lot of trouble.

Until somebody knocks him off, it's going to be the short, unhappy life of Dan Milner. I'm too young to die.

-I'm too well known.

-If you get killed, I'll get you a first-rate funeral at Mann's Chinese Theatre.

I've already had it. My last picture died there.

Good luck, Bucko. I'll keep Thompson and company busy.

Take me to Ferraro.

-No comprendo, senor.

-The captain - capitan.

Come on!

See if you can cover him from above.

We'll never smoke him out from here.

How about flanking him?

OK, get around behind him on that cliff. I'll cover.

Look, mister, you're covered from all sides. Either come out with your hands up, or we'll blast you out.

Make up your mind. Are you coming out?

Hold it.

Drop that gun.

Drop it!

Very good. Take him topside.

Get goin'.

You take that side.

Deceased, or as you say in plain terms, gone to heaven.

Do you know me?

Yeah, I'd know that face anywhere.

-I don't blame you for wanting a new one.

-You judge everyone by his face?

-That and smell. How about you?

I have several methods.

For example, if a man fights me fairly, I respect him.

On the other hand, when a man makes a deal with me, takes my money and then double-crosses me,

that's something else. I hate welchers.

In Chicago, I gave everyone a fair shake if they played square with me.

They all had good funerals, but that one where you was real sore.

I dumped part of him in an alley in Cicero and another part over on the East Side.

He got two funerals.

The point is, Milner, if you want to fight me in the open, clean and fair, I'll fight back clean.

Like this!

-If you want to fight below the belt like a welcher, if you want to fight dirty,

-I

-can do it that way, too.

Some guys have to learn the hard way.

All right, boys, take him.

Be careful of his face.

Pick him up.

Take off his shirt.

Stand him over there.

NICK: What's the matter with you?

Your friend shot a hole in the main steam line. The engine room's full of steam.

Why not let the Yankee Boy Scout fix it? They're all handymen, these Americans.

..Wrap this roll of tape round it, Milner. Maybe you can stop the leak.

Let him work up a good sweat.

Take him below.

Are you still alive, Thompson?

-GUNSHOT

-So am I.

Talk to me, Thompson. Milner's gone to get Ferraro.

It's a pretty night out, isn't it?

But pretty soon it'll be dark.

Come and get me. There's no sense in losing sleep.

Are you coming? Oh, come on! I've been known to miss.

Do it again.

Are you coming?

All right, Thompson.

Turn around.

-How come you didn't finish me off?

-Maybe I got confused and forgot which side your heart was on.

Or perhaps you don't have one. Start walking!

Yes?

..We'll go into this later. Let's find some smaller place. Yes, sir.

DOOR CLOSES If you're going to kill Milner, why not get it over with?

But what about our original plan?

Too risky. If we bump into trouble with the Feds or the Mexican police, that mouth of his could finish it.

But his face could give you a new start, Ferraro. Why don't we keep his face, then,

pump him full of lead, stow him below someplace,

and when we're out of this, go ahead with the operation?

It might work. But I don't know. In death, the muscles generally tighten.

The features can become grotesque. It's not easy for me to do this job.

Then write the whole idea off. I tell you, this guy's dangerous. I want him out of the way.

Senor Morro, this is not a problem for MY men. I want protection for my guests!

Only one man has been killed.

Wrong! I have accounted for two more and taken a prisoner of war.

-Place him under guard.

-A la carcel con el. Voy a interrogarle mas tarde.

-Take his gun.

-..I must report this.

Use my telephone. Gracias.

-Morro, we must seize the yacht.

-What for?

-Milner's out there alone facing tremendous odds.

-Mark! I want to talk to you.

-Too late for talk. The time has come to act.

Act! When did you ever stop?

-Let the police handle it.

-Alas, why must I be plagued by yammering magpies on the eve of battle?

Listen, Mark, if you go through with this madness, you've lost me.

-Fortunes of war. I thought I'd already lost you. The idea still has merit.

-How can you say that?

My dear, you don't understand me.

Do you think I want to go on living in a make-believe world, fighting in Sherwood Forest on stage six? No.

You go back to Hollywood, while I go on to real-life triumphs

or a glorious death.

Unhand me!

Mark! You're wounded.

'Tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church door.

-Where's Dan?

-He is the object of a sea expedition.

-Take me with you.

-This is man's work. Women are for weeping.

-I love Dan. You've got to take me.

-Oh, very well.

-Come with me. ..Hold these. ..I want you properly equipped. Get what you need in there.

-Thanks.

Mark!

-Mark! Mark!

-Get in there.

-I refuse to share your bungalow with another woman.

-If that woman is released before I get back, lady, by yonder moon, I swear...!

-You might not return.

-If I'm not here by Wednesday, chop that door down.

-Mark, let me out! MARK!

A fine example you're setting(!)

-One of your fellow Americans needs help and you stand there gaping.

-Wonderful.

-Thank you.

-..Catch that.

-I don't know...

-Fall in line! ..Oh...no!

-Count me in.

-What are your qualifications, sir?

This is the first chance I've had to get away from my wife.

I know what you mean, old-timer.

FALL IN!

Halt!

-Explain to them that survivors will get parts in my next picture.

-Si, se los espetare.

Too flabby. Replace him.

-What about that one?

-My wife's brother. He serves with me on condition he's not exposed to danger.

-Tell him to volunteer.

-I cannot. I promised my wife...

-Lieutenant!

Tell that rascal to fall in. He's drafted.

El amigo cree que es el General Eisenhower. Vaya atras. Si, mi teniente.

Carlos, conscripcion para los gringos.

Since I'm in command, you'll act as gunbearer.

Now, soldiers, march away and how thou pleasest God, dispose the day!

I'll do this my own way. But I could silence him AND keep him alive.

Are you worried about your fee?!

I have been giving it some thought. We may have the solution right here.

This is a very unusual anaesthetic. It was developed by the Nazis.

< I had intended to use it on you.

I said surgery was out!

This drug is a good anaesthetic, if used properly. The correct amount is one and one half cubic centimetres.

But in overdose quantities, this drug is VERY damaging. For example, an injection of...

say, seven cubic centimetres, then certain brain tissues are destroyed.

The patient never regains his memory and death follows within a year.

I don't like fooling with drugs. Something's liable to go wrong.

There's that chance with anything.

Not with this.

Here's one anaesthetic where death follows right now.

..Bring Milner up!

Ahoy! Stand by to be commandeered.

A prisa! A prisa!

Smartly, lads!

-Senor, this boat is not yet ready.

-Gangway! This is a war emergency.

-What are you waiting for?

-He is afraid of the water.

-There's enough wood in his head to make him float.

Dice que estas valiente como una madera y tu cabeza es hecho de palo. Entra el barco!

You mutinous scoundrel, up front with me!

Adelante. Vamos. Entra.

Full speed ahead!

-There are too many in this boat, senor.

-Start that engine! Full speed ahead.

Now would I give a thousand furlongs of sea for an acre of barren ground.

Este hombre es un idiota! Nos va ahogar a todos.

Don't stand there jabbering, abandon ship!

A ship! A ship! My kingdom for a ship.

-Senor, this boat here, she is ready.

-Remind me to have you cited for valour.

-Launch this craft immediately.

-En agua con el barco!

Si, el barco el lancho!

Look at him. I hate him and his kind for trying to keep me out of their country when I've got business there.

No welcher tells Ferraro where he can go.

Wake up, little boy!

Wake up! I want you to see it coming.

WAKE UP!

Nick! Get it over with. We don't have time to fool around.

I want him to be fully conscious.

I don't like to shoot a corpse.

I want to see the expression on his face when he knows it's coming.

WAKE UP!

DOOR OPENS

There's a boat approaching with police.

How far is that boat? It'll be alongside in a minute. Nick?

- I'll throw him overboard. - You got to weight him first.

­ Captain, shall we open fire?

No. That'd start trouble. Have a look.

Let me give him the injection. How fast does it work?

It'll work immediately. When he comes to, he won't remember a thing. His brain will be gone completely.

Are you positive there's no chance of failure? > < Absolutely positive.

Go ahead.

Falter not. Put your backs into it. Row!

-Tell them to turn off that light.

-I have yet to shun the welcome glare of a spotlight or run from applause.

Applause?! I'm thinking of bullets. Only pigs wait for slaughter.

Who are you calling a pig? Apologise!

Senor Cardigan, you are not a pig. You are what a pig becomes - it is eaten between two pieces of bread.

-Tell them to shut that light off!

-Very well, my craven friends. ..Ahoy!

-Turn off that spotlight.

-Keep that beam on 'em.

Why don't you shoot it out?

For once, you make sense. ..Hand me my trusty rifle.

Hold still, everyone.

You can praise me later.

Ah, right in the cross hairs.

Out, damn spot! Out, I say!

I'll attend to you later.

Steady, you fools!

Hold still!

Aboard that boat, identify yourself.

Hold his wrist to distend the vein.

Hurry up!

You in that boat, keep your distance!

This is a perfect target under those lights. Kill the lights.

What happened to the lights?

Find me a light...a match. I think there's some in the bar.

Hold him still! If I can feel the vein, I won't need a light.

I can see his arm from here. Hurry!

I've got it.

Doctor...

Pull that ladder up any further and I'll be forced to kill you.

-You can't board my ship without a search warrant.

-I'm coming aboard.

If you shoot me, you'll have some explaining to do to the Mexican police and the United States.

I must rid all the seas of pirates.

Adelante! >

Look out!

Ouch!

Death hath not struck so fat a deer today!

Come on, come on! Let's get this thing in the water.

All right, you rifraff, reach for the heavens!

Come on!

Don't move!

Stand still, all of you!

Hold it, Ferraro.

Muy bien hecho, Cardigan!

Arriba!

Adelante!

This place is dangerous.

The time right deadly. The drinks are on me, my Bucko.

-Mark, will you please sit down?

-All right, my dear.

-Weren't you terribly outnumbered, Mr Cardigan?

-Who counts the odds when duty calls? Five to one.

The resistance was heavy, naturally.

A less determined man might have turned back, but there was never any doubt of the outcome for me.

-Mr Cardigan, what did you use to kill Ferraro?

-Well, I...

A man named Milner.

Did you run out of money?

Fresh out. That's why I'm pressing my pants. What's the champagne for?

-This could be that big occasion.

-Hey, why not?

-You turned out to be quite a hero. They tell me you killed Ferraro. How did it feel?

-He didn't say.

Let me do that. You better stick to money.

I've got a few things I want to say about myself.

-At least you never talk about other people.

-My grandfather was never a Boston millionaire.

-Aw!

He's been a barber for 40 years.

And still not a millionaire? What about Cardigan?

I never was in love with Mark Cardigan.

-Could you be in love with ANYTHING besides money?

-I might. And you?

You could be handy to have around the house if a man went broke.