Primrose Path

CHILDREN YELL

YELLING CONTINUES Granny, look what I got! Tamales. From Mrs Espinosa.

That was very nice of Mrs Espinosa.

It's good. Eat it. Mmm. It smells good.

What's them kids makin' that noise out there about?

I don't hear nothin'. You ain't deaf.

Them kids is slobs. Them kids ARE slobs.

Well, they're slobs.

Honeybell, are you sure Mrs Espinosa gave you these tamales?

She would have. But did she?

It don't make no difference now.

Honeybell, you ain't got no cause to lie. It ain't refined.

I don't tell no lies. If I thought you'd snitched this...

I wouldn't have ate it. Mrs Espinosa gave them to me.

We must give Mrs Espinosa something sometime.

HONEYBELL LAUGHS: Look at Ellie May.

ELLIE MAY HUMS TO HERSELF

-Well, somebody's happy.

-Ain't Ma supposed to come home today?

So her letter said. What's the idea of them pigtails?

-What's wrong with them?

-You ain't gonna catch no fellas like that!

Wouldn't want the ones I can get. Couldn't get the ones I'd want.

So, you gonna change the world around?

-Pa still sick?

-Still sleeping off his hangover, you mean.

-He needs some hot coffee.

-I don't know where he'll put it.

< His stomach's all eaten out.

Are you awake, Pa?

Pa.

-I brought you some hot coffee.

-HE MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY

Here.

You're really good to me, Ellie May. You really are.

-Drink it while it's hot.

-What's the time?

I don't know. It ain't running.

-Is your mother home yet?

-No, she ain't.

-She should be here, looking after the family.

-Ma just likes to have a good time.

-I'm not a fool, Ellie May.

-Ain't you gonna take your coffee?

No... It isn't coffee I need.

-Don't you think maybe you drink too much, Pa?

-It's only a substitute.

A substitute for some dreams I once had.

They've all gone, whistling down the wind.

I don't know what you mean.

You keep your dreams, Ellie May. After they've gone, you've got nothing left.

Cos if you let those go, you got to invent new ones. And they're never as good as the old ones.

Run away, dear. Run away before you get like the rest of us.

But I ain't got no reason to run away, Pa.

What'll happen to you in this horrible environment?

Nothing's gonna happen to me.

-Wouldn't you feel better with some hot coffee in your stomach?

-I guess I'm a pretty good mess as a father.

No, you're swell, Pa.

Gee, Pa, you're so smart an' all. You've been to college.

I'm always telling everybody how much you know about them Greeks.

-Some of your writing's on the floor.

-That's as good a place as any for it.

-When your book's done, everyone'll be talking about you.

-I doubt I'll live to finish it.

What's the matter? You got a sick stomach?

How about some clam broth? I could go to the beach, get some clams.

-Something wrong with your heart?

-No, darling, it's another kind of pain.

Oh, well... We live, not as we wish to, but as we can.

So said my old friend Menander.

Who was it said that?

Menander, darling. One of those old Greek philosophers.

I wish I knowed more than I know.

-The gentleman paid for the cab.

-Yes, everything's taken care of.

-Out of my way, babies. Yoo-hoo!

Hello, baby!

Hello, Mame. You look great.

Here I am!

-Is that for me?

-Honeybell, it ain't me you want, it's the presents.

Stop tuggin' Ma. Let her get her breath.

-Hello, Ma.

-Hello, Ellie May.

-Gee, you look pretty, Ma.

-Do I, honey?

-Where's my present?

-Oh, look, Ma's got a new fur.

-Ain't I the one?

-I want my present!

-Oh, Honeybell!

You're a pest. Now, run away and keep quiet.

-How's Homer?

-He don't feel good.

-For you, Ellie May.

And, Ma, here's something smelly.

Ma, Thelma introduced me to a lovely gentleman, a Mr Hawkins. Tell you about it later.

-Did you go to the fair?

-Oh, did I! I've been bounced about till there isn't a whole bone left in my body.

-Oh, my, ain't it cute?

-GRANDMA: It looks like Homer.

-Oh, let him be.

-When its eyes light up, they look like Homer's when he hits the bottle.

-Ellie May, ain't you pleased with your present?

-Sure.

-You haven't looked at it.

-I'm going to the beach to get some clams.

I buy her the best silk stockings, she don't even look at 'em.

-I'll look at them after.

-Very fussy about where her presents come from.

-I ain't said nothing. Bye, Ma.

Silk stockings ain't for a girl that acts like a boy.

You should have bought her a baseball bat.

CHILDREN CHANT: Yo quiero mis tamales! Yo quiero mis tamales!

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

Here she comes. You gonna say it? Yeah. I'm not afraid of her.

Say it. Afraid of a girl! I'm not afraid of her! Then, I'LL say it.

Her mother was a lady(!)

Missed!

A shame to waste a good smell in a place like this.

-Well, maybe we'll go steppin' sometime.

-Why not?

You can always play a new tune on an old fiddle.

-Yeah, you're only as young as you feel. Got some coffee, hon?

-I'll make you a fresh cup.

-Say, is this genuine?

-Ain't nothing else but.

That fella must have an oil well somewhere.

I told him, "Mr Hawkins, if you want to throw your money away,

"I ain't gonna stop you." And, Ma, confidential, he wanted to marry me.

-No!

-He did. I said, "Mr Hawkins, one husband at a time's enough."

-And he laughed fit to kill.

-He must be a guy!

-Oh, he's a card.

-And very refined.

-Pity Homer don't do you a favour and get run over.

-Oh, Ma, poor Homer.

-Well, somebody has to look after him,

of course it's gotta be you.

Isn't it customary for a wife to care for her husband when he's ill, instead of chasing other men?

-Are you still alive?

-Ain't you feeling well, baby?

Look at them eyes. Like two grapes floatin' around in his head.

Preserve your acid wit for someone of your own class.

Wasn't no drunks in MY family!

One tiny virtue is not sufficient to counteract your other endowments.

< Big words ain't gonna help that hangover.

Leave him be. C'mon now, that's a good boy.

That's it. Thattaboy.

There...

-Oh, working on your book, Homer?

-What difference does it make to YOU?

I was telling Mr Hawkins, a friend of Thelma's, how smart you are.

No need to further my humiliation.

Homer, nobody's humiliating nobody.

Who's Hawkins? What kind of woman is Thelma? Where have you been?

-I've been to the fair, had some fun. Don't you want me to have a good time?

-Look me in the eye.

Oh... Poor Homer. Your eyes are all red and watery.

-They're red with shame.

-You ain't done nothin' to be ashamed of.

-Sneaking round back alleys with my collar turned up.

-Now, you know how upset you get after drinking.

I can't stand it any longer. I'll put an end to myself.

Give that to me. I only got it cos you was afraid of burglars. You mustn't play with it.

Some day I'll do it. Some day I'll have the courage.

-Let Mamie rub your head, like a good little boy.

-I'm not a little boy.

-I'm ill!

-Of course you are.

You're a great big boy!

Oh, poor Homer. Got no gin left. That's what's the matter with him.

The big, bad gin's all gone, ain't it?

Mamie will get you some money so you can buy some more.

I won't take any money from you.

Go out and get a job. > Get some money of your own.

The work Homer does takes brains.

-They'll never read his book, even if he does finish it.

-Here...

-Take it and have a good time.

-I'll take it.

I hope you enjoy my degradation.

It's all right with me, Toots.

-Don't fall in the ditch like last time.

-I'd cover him up and let him lay.

HORN HOOTS

-Goin' down to the beach?

-Yeah. Why?

-Hop in. I'll give you a ride.

-Nah, I ain't takin' no chances.

You don't have to be scared of a silly old man like me.

I ain't exactly scared.

Hop in, then. I'm just hankerin' to have a talk with somebody.

I ain't got much to talk about.

You don't have to worry. I'll do all the talking.

-Go down to the beach often?

-Uh-huh.

-Going fishing?

-Nope, clamming.

-You like to eat clams?

-I ain't gonna train 'em for no circus.

HE LAUGHS That's what I get for being nosy.

-Why not buy 'em in town? Save you a long trip.

-They gotta be fresh on account of my sister, Honeybell.

-What's wrong with her?

-She's sick. If they ain't fresh, she might get a sick stomach.

-Sorry to hear that.

-You live down by the beach?

-Yeah. I run a hamburger stand by the canneries.

I was gonna have lunch at the beach but I forgot my pocket-book.

-Maybe I can fix you up.

-Oh, I didn't mean it that way.

-It's all right.

-Why ain't you at school?

-I don't have to be.

-Why not?

-I get my learning from my pa.

-Is he a schoolteacher?

-No, he went to college.

-He's learning me all about them old Greeks.

-I wouldn't know about them.

-They was mighty smart.

-Don't the authorities say nothing about your schoolin'?

-I'm older than I look.

-What do you wear pigtails for?

-Well, if fellas think you're a kid, they leave you be.

-It's just to keep the fellas from getting fresh.

-Me, too?

-You're a fella, ain't you?

I'm just an old hunk of buzzard bait!

-Well, you used to be a fella.

-I'LL say I was!

You said something, kid!

-Here we are. What did you say your name was?

-Ellie May.

-Come on, Ellie May. We'll fix you up a sandwich.

-Maybe I hadn't oughtta.

-Ain't you hungry?

-But I ain't got no money.

-Pay some other time.

CUSTOMER: You can have my share of them fish canneries. Them sardines is getting me down.

You get used to the smell after five years.

-How about topping up your lunch with sardine pie?

-I aint feeling so good.

-Nobody feels good that eats in here.

GRAMPY: Leave off them corny jokes.

-We gotta give the customers SOMETHING for their money.

-Fix that kid something to eat.

Boy, you're picking 'em young, Granpappy. Right out of grammar school.

-What'll it be?

-One of your 10-centers.

-They're good'uns. Best manila rope in town.

A little longer, you could hang yourself with it.

It's bad enough to have to smoke 'em.

Don't look now but there's a truant officer right behind you. What'll it be, sister?

-What do you have?

-For schoolkids? How about a nice bowl of alphabet soup?

-Here you are.

-Don't heed him. His mind wanders.

-Maybe it never came back.

-< You ain't getting no laughs on her.

-Wait till she eats that sandwich.

We paint the ham on with a brush.

-TOOT! There's the whistle.

-Give my regards to the sardines.

-Hey, can I take this with me?

-Sure.

-Where's a good place to dig clams?

-What kind of clams?

-The kind that don't make so much noise.

-That oughtta shut you up.

-She ain't bad on the comeback.

-Did you get to town and get them bolts for the pump?

-There ain't no rush about them bolts.

Maybe there ain't no rush for you, but there IS for the pump.

-Say, who IS that kid, anyhow?

-If you could get your mind off women for five minutes,

-we might be able to do something around here.

-Who wants to get their mind off women?

How are you doing?

I'm doing all right.

-Getting any clams?

-Ain't any. I told them some of your jokes and they ran away.

-You don't think I'm funny, do you?

-Nope.

-Well, I don't, either.

-Why tell them dumb jokes?

-In my business, you gotta have repartee.

-Have what?

-Repartee. If you don't put on an act, they go someplace else to eat.

-What's that got to do with me?

-When you didn't laugh, I figured you had some sense.

Them Portagee gals will laugh at anything.

-I ain't a Portagee gal.

-That's what I say.

Hey, you ain't doing that right.

-Who says I ain't?

-Do you expect to find clams under them rocks?

-Maybe you know better(!)

-You oughtta have a clam ring.

-Maybe I oughtta but I ain't got one.

There's a right way and a wrong way to do everything.

-What are you gonna do?

-Hit you over the head(!)

-You'd better not.

C'mon. I want to show you something you don't know.

-You can't find clams above the high water.

-What of it?

-I'm just telling

-We both know there must be clams here.

-What are you gonna do with that rock?

-I'll show you.

Drop the rock. The clams spit. Then you know where they are.

-Why do they do that?

-I don't know but that's how they give themselves away.

-You should dig 'em with a rake.

-This is more fun.

Another way to get 'em is to sneak out on a dark night and whistle.

The clams come up to see what's making all the racket,

you sprinkle a little salt on their and you got 'em.

-That's more repartee, ain't it?

-Don't nothing get a rise out of you?

Not unless I want it to.

Hey, where are you going?

-Going home.

-I got some more clams for you.

-I got enough.

What's wrong with you? Give me that bag.

-Where do you live?

-Why?

-I'll give you a lift.

-I just want my clams.

-You'll get your clams.

-Hiya, jaco! Jacito!

-Hi, pollita Carmelita!

Who's your girlfriend?

I found her here with the clams but they got more sense of humour.

-Comin' to the Bluebell tonight?

-Sure! Someon's gotta keep you gals happy.

-I sure knock 'em dead, don't I?

-You go talk to them. I'll go on.

-I'll see enough of her tonight. Let me help you up.

-I can take care of myself.

-Go ahead.

Well, thanks for helping me with them clams. I'll be getting on home now.

Get in there.

-Where are you taking me?

-I'm taking you where you're going.

-You ain't taking me noplace else?

-Where else do you want to go?

-I don't want to go noplace.

-Boy, I've seen some stubborn dames but none like you.

Don't you never open up?

-Where do you live in town?

-In a house.

-I thought maybe you lived in a tree.

-We moved.

You're harder to open up than one of them clams.

It don't make much difference where you live. We may never get to town anyhow.

-Why?

-I'm just learning to drive this thing.

One of these is the gas. Look out!

-Where are we?

-Give you a thrill?

-No!

Yippee!

You probably think you're pretty funny.

-I'll get a rise out of you yet.

-That's what YOU think!

What are you trying to do? Dump me in the ocean?

-Why not just turn the thing all the way over and kill the both of us?

-Yeah!

What's it gonna get you?

I'll...get a...rise...

out of you...yet!

Why don't you stay on your side of the road?

Hey...!

-You still here?

-Some of me.

-I give up. You ain't got a rise in you.

-I have if I want to have.

-Will I slow her down?

-You gettin' scared?

-Ain't you ever been out with a guy before?

-No.

-Well, maybe THAT'S what's the matter.

With who?

What's that you got under your nose?

-Is it off?

-Let me see.

-What did you do that for?

-Well, I finally got a rise out of you.

-I don't go letting fellas kiss me.

-I don't go letting girls slap me neither.

-You should have been.

-You'd think you'd never been kissed before.

-Well, I ain't.

Not by a fella.

-I'm sorry.

-I ain't one of them Portagee gals.

-I never said you was.

-Maybe you can go round kissing them.

-Forget it!

-Well, I AIN'T one of them Portagee gals.

-I never said you WAS.

-I knew you was different first time I seen you.

-That's more like it.

-How'd you know?

-Your face and neck's the same colour. Them Portagee girls rouge up a lot.

SIREN BLARES

Which way do you turn here? Right or left?

If I was you, I think I'd pull over to the kerb.

I guess maybe I better had.

-Think you're the Wild Man of Borneo?

-Why'd you stop us?

-Time somebody did.

-I didn't mind him bumping me around.

-I did.

-He was only trying to get a rise.

-He got one out of me.

Let me see your licence.

I must have forgot my pocket book.

Oh, so you haven't got a licence?

-I HAD one.

-We'd better take a run down to the station.

-Looks like I'm going to jail.

-He can't do that to you.

-That's the way it looks.

Ohh...

-I wouldn't want that to happen.

-Why not? After what I done to you?

-I didn't mind it that much.

-Is that yours?

-Hey, where'd you get that?

-On the beach. I meant to ask you was it yours.

-Officer, I found it.

-Are you sure you're Ed Wallace?

-That's me.

-If you'd kept that, I'd never have known.

-You saying I would?

-I never said you WOULD. I said you could have.

-I wouldn't have.

-All right.

-Maybe them Portagee gals would have, but not me.

-You don't have to get sore.

-I ain't sore. I just wouldn't do nothin' like that.

-Right, so you wouldn't do nothin' like that.

He won't have to go to jail now, will he?

No, but YOU will if you don't pipe down.

-Run along before you get in trouble.

-Well, thanks for everything.

-I ain't done nothing.

-You helped me with them clams.

-Forget it.

-When people do things for me, I like to let them know about it.

-No need to make a fuss about it.

Well...

-I guess I'd better be going.

-Well, so long.

-I go down to the beach every once in a while.

-Fine. See you sometime.

Bye.

So long.

Here.

Here's your invite.

Thanks.

-You suppose Homer will be in for supper?

-Probably, if he didn't fall in that ditch again.

-Too bad to waste that chop suey on his stomach.

-There's plenty of it.

Wait till you see Ellie May!

-She ain't sick?

-She's powdering her face.

-I wouldn't worry about that.

-Have you washed for supper?

-You look sweaty.

-Horses sweat. Ladies feel the heat.

You come right here and get washed.

I don't want to wash again!

Ain't you hungry? Got nothin' but slack.

Where did you learn them words?

-I heard Granny say it.

-Well, it ain't refined.

GRANDMA: We can take HIS plate off. Make more room at the table.

I'm getting sick of looking at that pan, anyway.

-Ellie May, you're all dressed up. Where are you going?

-Just out.

-I thought you didn't want them silk stockings.

-I never said that.

Ain't so particular all of a sudden.

-Ma, let her be.

-She ain't fooling nobody. What's his name?

# Ellie's got a fella. Ellie's got a fella. #

-Ain't it all right?

-Can't I dress up without having a fella?

-Those are MY slippers!

-They're rotting away in the trunk.

-You ain't gonna lay me away yet.

Oh, hush, Ma. Ain't she wearin' MY best hat AND my purse?

-Wait a minute. Don't run away.

-You gonna eat?

-I ain't hungry.

-# Ellie's got a fella... #

-Enough out of you!

-Don't grab the first cat out of the bag.

-I ain't grabbing nothing.

Here y'are, hon. Here. If you're gonna step out, do it in style.

Aw, gee, Ma.

Thanks.

-I hope I don't lose it.

-I don't care. Just so long as you look pretty.

You would think she was gonna get hung!

Ellie May...

-What's come over my baby?

-Oh, Ma, I didn't want this to happen to me.

-It just happens.

-He just up and kissed me and I don't know what I've been doing ever since.

-Other people have been in love before.

-Yeah, but I don't like it.

Don't you suppose I've ever been in love?

Sure, Ma. I guess you must have.

Oh, I don't mean Pa. It happened long before I met him.

Well, Ma broke it up. He didn't have no money.

But I ain't gonna let that happen to YOU.

-You mean, you didn't love Pa when you married him?

-That's different.

He'd been to college, knew all them words, kinda swept me off my feet.

Pa's weak and drinks a lot.

Anyhow, it's my lot - and I want to stick by it.

Somebody has to take care of the family.

Ain't what I might have asked for but I done the best I knew how.

That's what them Greeks say.

-Them Greeks down the street?

-No, Pa's Greeks. The say, "You don't live like you wanna,

"you live like you gotta."

Well, ain't got nothing to do with your fella. What's he look like?

-Well, he's tall and he's kinda got a big nose.

-That's good.

Them men is usually generous. What's his name?

Ed. Ed Something.

If he hadn't kissed me, I'd have been all right.

-Supper's getting cold.

-All right, Ma. I'll be right in.

He just kissed you and said nothing?

Yeah. "See you sometime."

Oh, he did? Well, we gotta do something about that.

-Give me that rouge. You gotta learn to make up.

-No, he don't like rouge. Well, not on me.

Well, what kind of a man IS he?

I don't know him so good.

Look here, you gotta pull yourself together. For instance, you got awful pretty-looking legs,

but you don't know how to walk on them.

No matter what a man says, he likes a girl to flirt with him a little - just like in the jungle.

Ellie May, I ask you.

If you was a man, would YOU like a g that walked like this?

Of course not. You gotta put some zing into it.

No... He wouldn't like that.

-He's human, ain't he?

-That wouldn't work. Not with ME doing it.

I wouldn't know what to tell you without meeting him.

I wish I knowed him better so you could meet him.

-Too bad we ain't got a better place so as you could bring him here.

-I could ask him, maybe.

-No...

Maybe you hadn't better bring him here.

People got a lot of funny ideas. And then there's Pa and Granny.

No... No, maybe you hadn't better bring him.

You gotta meet him sometime.

-Ellie May, if he's your man, don't you let nothing or nobody take you away from him.

-Gee, Ma,

-you don't think I'm ashamed of you?

-No...

You run along. And, remember,

-your ma's with you.

-Swell, Ma.

-Run along.

I'll be thinking of you.

Ma, why can't I have a fella?

Eat up. You'll grow faster, then you'll have all the fellas you want.

-Poor little Ellie May.

-It's about time she grew up. MAMIE SOBS

What's the matter with Ma? Ssh.

Poor little Ellie May.

-Is this the place you're looking for, Miss?

-Yeah, I think so.

-Thanks for the lift.

-Don't give it a second thought.

-MAN, DRUNKENLY: When I get home... WOMAN:

-Pull yourself together.

-I'll be right back.

-If you go back in there, I'll divorce you.

-But my hat...

-It's on your dumb head.

-I'll drive.

-Drive? You can't even walk straight.

LATIN DANCE MUSIC

-Looking for somebody?

-I'm looking for a gentleman.

-Take your pick.

Never mind. I see him.

Well, just in case, here's my card. If you folks get tired of living, come to my joint and eat.

-Do YOU go to the joint, big boy?

-You said it, kid. Listen...

If you can ditch these two, come and join a hot party.

-Can I bring my hangover?

-Sure. If it's good-looking!

-Carmelita, how about a little action?

-Not now.

-Come on. Musica!

Come on.

-Musica!

-BAND STRIKES UP

MUSIC: "Mexican Hat Song"

What'll you have to drink, lady?

-I'd like a drink of water, maybe.

-Hmph!

-Hey, how are them drinks coming?

-Coming right up.

­ Hey, Ed. You're getting the buzz.

CARMELITA: Too bad she didn't break her neck.

I'll be right back.

-Well, if it ain't Pigtails. What in the name of time has happened to you?

-I fell down.

-You been drinking?

-Can't I fall down without having been drinking?

What brings you to a joint like this?

-I came to see you.

-What about?

-Well, it's awful important.

All right. Come on out here.

Let me take a look at you.

Take that stuff off.

And where'd you get that hat?

-You don't like it?

-You don't want to be a freak, do you?

-No...

No, I don't wan't to be.

You're beginning to look more like yourself.

What did you want to talk to me about?

I... I just wanted to talk to you.

-How come your folks let you come to a joint like this?

-They don't know I'm here. I sneaked out.

-Well, you're sneaking right back.

-I can't.

-You can't what?

-I can't go back home.

-Why? Scared of getting a licking?

-I can't never go back.

-Why not?

-I lied to you before.

-I ran away.

-You did?

-Ran away on your account.

-On MY account?

-Yeah.

-Say, are you off your head?

-Yeah, I guess maybe I am.

-Just what are you thinking about?

Well, there's noplace for me to go now. Except with you.

-Enough of this double talk. I'm taking you home.

-Won't do no good.

-They won't take me back now, even if you do.

-Why?

Cos I...told them that I loved you.

-You what?

-And that I was going with you. And they said what did I know about you, and I told them.

-They said I wasn't to see you no more.

-Oh. I ain't good enough, huh?

It ain't that you ain't good enough. What did you go and kiss me for? I didn't do nothing to YOU.

-You're still harping on that?

-YOU'D harp if it done to you what it done to me.

-All this fuss over nothing.

They said if I seen you again, I needn't never come back.

Folks ain't got no right to be as strict as that.

-I want to go with you, Ed.

-I ain't gonna let you.

I can't cook but I could wait tables and wash dishes and learn some repartee.

Ain't you got no friends to go to?

I ain't got nobody now, except you.

-I don't like being put on the spot.

-I could even learn to work them pumps.

I ain't ready to get married yet.

-You what?

-I ain't ready to get married yet. That's something a guy's gotta think over.

SHE SOBS

Now, don't do that, kid.

Don't be that way, please.

Hey...

-Jaco, vente. Porque si no, te corto las orejas.

-I'll be right in.

Oh, I know I ain't as pretty as her but maybe I would be if I had them kind of clothes.

That got nothing to do with it. All I know is you gotta go home.

-I ain't gonna have no more trouble with you.

-All right, Ed, I'll go.

But I ain't going home.

-What are you gonna do? Sleep out here?

-Don't worry about me. Go back in to your Portagee gal.

-You're going right home.

-Go on in. Just leave me here.

-What are you gonna do?

-It don't make no difference.

Before you go, would you kiss me?

All right.

If it makes you happy.

(Now you can go...)

I don't like to leave you out here like this. Do you need any money?

No. Not where I'M going.

-You got me all mixed up.

-Don't worry. You won't see me no more.

What do you mean by that?

I won't never bother you again... if you'll just kiss me once more.

All right.

Not one of them long ones.

Thanks.

You don't want to do nothing like that.

GRAMPY HUMS HAPPILY

# Deedle-dee... # I guess that's all I can rob you of today. That'll be 92 cents.

You're feeling pretty good lately. Why shouldn't people feel good all the time?

But your arthritis... Never heard of it.

You been taking pills or something? Pills are for old guys like you.

Anybody'd think it was you that got married instead of Ed.

I ain't that crazy. # Tra-la-pum-pum... #

-Jake, did you catch that fight last night?

-No. Where was it?

Two of the Portagees got in a brawl. Cops took 'em to the station.

There's your soup.

-Say, Ellie, do you call this chicken soup?

-Yup.

-Where's the chicken?

Crossing the road.

It says on the card: Chicken Soup.

It's just another name we got for hot water.

Better keep quiet, Al. You ain't getting the best of it.

-I need my other glasses.

-There's a chunk of chicken round that piece of rice.

-I give up.

-Say what you like about the soup but don't pick on the coffee. It's too weak to fight back.

-I can't top her.

-What unlucky guy gets the stew?

-Poor old Jake.

-Where d'you hide the toothpicks?

-Anyone that eats in here ain't got no teeth left.

-Ain't bad, Grampy.

You got ME doin' it. My own fault for picking up hitch-hikers. Before you know, they're bossing you around.

A little bossing wouldn't have hurt you a long time ago.

-No cracks about the stew. Eat it up, then nothing'll matter no more.

-Don't worry till you turn green.

-Maybe I'd better eat in Ike's.

-He may have better stew, but we give free bicarbonate.

-Ed, you sure picked something!

-SHE picked ME.

-Yeah, pickings were pretty slim that day.

CARMELITA: How does it feel to be tied down?

-Who, me? I ain't tied down.

-Oh, no(?)

Ask me if I'm coming to the Bluebell tonight.

-Coming to the Bluebell tonight?

-What time will you be there?

-As soon as I get them fish canned.

I'll be there, if I can get rid of the ball and chain.

-Going to the Bluebell?

-Who said anything about the Bluebell?

-Nobody what meant it.

-I used to be as free as air once.

-Be careful or I'll let some of that air out of you.

-Maybe I'd better get out and GET some air.

-Maybe you better had.

Wait up. Why don't YOU go out and get some air yourself ?

-Who gets this stew?

-Al. Tell him not to look for any meat in it.

-Got any scraps for them seagulls?

-Si. Pero pasa que tengas cuidado porque tienen una hambre...!

-It's OK with me whatever he said!

-Bueno.

-Can't a man work without someone snooping around?

-I ain't snooping. How about feeding the gulls?

-You'll have all the gulls in the Pacific round here.

-Somebody's gotta feed them.

-When are we going sailing?

-When the boat's ready.

-When can I see?

-Get outta here and quit being so nosy.

-You like your boat better than me.

-You can get a gal like you any day. It's hard to find a good boat.

-Is that so?

-Yes, that's... Don't lean on that! It ain't dry yet

Some of them good-looking customers might care more about me.

Oh, they would, would they?

-How would you like your nose painted?

-I never said they DID.

-Maybe you've been eyeing them.

-Or they've been eyeing me.

-Have they?

-What if they have?

-I only said have they?

-Maybe I ain't telling.

Come here. You're gonna get your nose painted.

-Now what are you gonna do?

-What do YOU think?

-No, Ed, that ain't fai

-No, no, you better hadn't.

-Who says so?

-CAR HORN

-Somebody wants some gas.

-Let 'em wait.

-I'll get it.

-No, you don't. No, you don't.

Can't you hear that horn?

I'll be there in a minute.

Oh, go on with you. You ain't much use round here, anyway.

-Now will you tell me?

-Will I tell you what?

-Have they?

-What?

-Been eyeing you?

-What'll I get if I tell you?

-Will you tell if you get it?

-Maybe.

Well, here we go.

Mm. That was good. Let's have some more.

Now can I see what you painted on the boat?

I ain't never seen a girl like you. Go ahead and look.

-You won't be mad?

-Nah.

The Ellie May.

-Oh, Ed...

-Maybe I should have had a painter do it.

The Ellie May...

-You don't have to feel THAT way about it. It ain't that bad a job.

-It ain't that.

It's just that...I'm happier than I got any right to be.

You're a funny kid. Come on, let's go feed them gulls.

-You ain't heard NOTHING from Ellie May?

-She just up and left. With my best patent slippers.

-I hope nothing's happened to her.

-She ain't in the death notices.

-Did you call the cops?

-If she was in the clink, we'd have heard.

-Still worried over Ellie May?

-It must be a fella.

-Well, she's old enough to have a fella.

Maybe she's run off with a hobo like you tried to do once.

-Ellie May can take care of herself.

-It's about time somebody in this family landed something

besides a minnow fish.

I say, Mame, how about stepping on it?

-We don't own that taxi cab.

-I've misplaced my best hat with the plumes on it. It was in there.

Maybe Homer traded it for a bottle of gin.

Now, look at that.

-Ain't she a scream?

-She's a riot.

You can't stop HER.

-Come here. Give me that.

-I wanna go with you and Thelma.

You been at my perfumery again. I ain't.

That ain't your natural smell.

WHISTLE BLOWS The mailman!

If Ellie May was like her, we wouldn't have to worry.

-Quit frettin' about Ellie May.

-Say, Mame, that waistline of yours is starting to spread.

-I ain't 16 no more.

-With a new corset, you ain't got nothin' to worry about.

Where'd you get that? In the mailbox.

Sure it wasn't Mrs Espinosa's mailbox?

Why, it's for me!

Maybe it's a bomb. Hurry, Ma, and open it.

That's all you think about - presents.

Ohh...it's my fox fur.

It's from Ellie May.

Where is she?

Doesn't say.

She's doing all right.

Don't worry, Pete. The first two years of married life are the worst.

-Fresh out of cherry pie.

-Don't make no difference. All our pies taste the same.

-Hi, Al, you came back(!)

-Anything I can eat without folding up?

Stick your tongue out. You ain't gonna last long, brother.

Let me see. You need some nice Irish stew.

-Not that you can tell cos it's hidden under gravy.

-Fine. And a side dish of arsenic.

-While you're waiting, chew on some celery. One stew.

-Delicious!

-Coffee, girls? Want some pie?

-Best food I had in here yet.

-HE BLASTS HORN TWICE

-How about a little stretch?

-We made good time.

-You're in fast company. Hey, big boy, how about some snappy service?

-Fill her up?

-Just check the oil and water.

-What's the matter with Elmer?

-Passed out again.

Wake up, Elmer. You're slippin', big boy.

Say, I wanna help.

-What's this for?

-Water.

-Where d'you put it?

-There. I'll do it.

I wanna do it. Boy! I always wanted to work around a gas station.

The ol' gal's feelin' pretty high.

Ain't we got fun?

Poor Ed's got his hands full.

Get away, honey. Look, you got me all wet.

-Let's wake Elmer up!

-Don't come near my new jacket.

That guy in the back seat got a shower he didn't expect!

You know who she is, don't you? Mamie Adams, from Primrose Hill. And who's she?

-Ain't so much WHO she is.

-Don't talk about people you don't know!

-I didn't say anything about you.

-Can't people have fun without some mealy-mouth saying mean things?

-Listen, lady...

She may be good and kind and wonderful.

-­ What's wrong?

-Sorry, Grampy, I didn't know what I was saying.

-He say something you didn't like?

-He didn't mean nothing.

-I didn't say anything.

-Did he make a crack about Ellie?

-I didn't say anything!

I was just telling him who Mamie Adams... This is no place for wisecracks.

< I simply came in here to get a cup of coffee.

There you are. I don't have to eat in a joint like this.

An innocent remark and it's one great, big argument!

-Did you hear what he said?

-A lot of action today. Who was that guy?

Some fresh guy. I was gonna let him have one.

-He made a crack about Ellie.

-GRAMPY: No, he didn't.

-Well, he made her sore, didn't he?

-There ain't nobody gonna say nothin' about Ellie May.

-It was a mistake.

-It better be.

You know Al, how he gets all fired up about everything.

-Why not let me do the dishes?

-I don't mind, Grampy.

-Don't let a thing like that upset you.

-I'm all right now.

-Chico, go and look after the customers.

-Gosh, ain't there a lot?

-A lot more than yesterday.

-When there ain't none, that's the time to complain.

-I still don't know what happened with that guy.

-Benny knows more than I do.

-Benny, what happened?

When that gal was spraying the water out there, this guy says to me, "Know who she is?"

And he said... What'd he say her name was?

Mamie Something from Primrose Hill.

-Wherever that is.

-I

-know. It's the other side of town.

Ever seen this one?

-It's an old guy taking a bath.

-Oh...!

-That's what my schoolteacher did when I showed her.

-Quite right.

-I'm way ahead of you.

-You can't work all the time. People's got to laugh.

-How about telling ME the joke?

-You wouldn't know one if you heard one.

-What's the joke about that old girl that was here?

-What IS he on about?

-Say, what's going on?

-Nothing. Go and work on your boat.

-I don't feel like working on my boat.

-Here's one I did when I was a kid.

-I got a right to know what that guy said.

-He didn't say nothing.

-So, why jump him?

-Well...

-He asked for cherry pie, I brought apple...

-That ain't what Benny said.

-What'd he say?

-That the guy made some crack about the old girl.

Benny says, I says, you says... What difference does it make?

Anyone makes a crack about Ellie May, I'll bop him.

If you want to bop somebody, bop me. Come on!

Hey, Ellie,

-what are you trembling about?

-I just don't feel good, I guess.

There now, you got her all upset. HORN HONKS Go on and attend to business.

HORN HONKS AGAIN

Ain't you going over to feed them gulls today?

-Oh, Grampy, I'm scared.

-If I knew what you were scared about, maybe I could help.

-I reckon Ed figures I ain't told him the truth.

-He's too nosy.

I ain't told him everything I should have, especially about my folks.

-Your folks is all right, ain't they?

-It ain't what people IS, it's what other people thinks about 'em.

The world would be better off with no people in it.

That ain't gonna help me. I guess I had no right to all this happiness in the first place.

HE didn't, neither.

Maybe he'd understand if I told him everything, just like it is.

Ain't no brains, ain't no feeling.

-GRAMPY COUGHS THEATRICALLY

-That's a pretty bad cough.

-Who, me?

-Go get some cough drops. I wanna talk to Ellie May.

-I thought you was through talking.

It's all right. I wanna talk to Ed, too.

Always talkin' - I don't know wherever you get with that talkin'.

Ellie May, I don't want no funny business between you and me.

-Me, neither.

-I don't like lying.

-I don't, neither.

That's why I was gonna tell you about that lady squirting the hose.

That was my ma.

-Why'd you lie about her?

-I didn't lie. I was all mixed up.

-Why didn't you go and speak to her?

I was scared.

-You mean, you was scared she was coming to take you away?

-Yeah. I guess that was it.

-Look, silly. We're married now. They can't do nothing about us.

-But I ain't told you about her.

What's to tell? She looks like she might be a lot of fun.

-That's what I'm trying to tell you.

-She may be strict with YOU but she ain't strict with herself.

-She ain't the strict one.

-Who is? Your pa?

-I guess so.

-Was that him with her?

-Must have been.

-They can't be so poor, driving a car like that.

-That must have been Uncle Fred.

-The guy with her?

-Yeah. Couldn't be nobody else.

-You must get kinda lonesome for your folks once in a while.

-Sure I d

-Why don't we go see 'em sometime?

-You mean it?

-Sure. All they can do is kick us out.

-They ain't gonna do nothing like that.

-I might get to like 'em.

Well, even if you don't,

that wouldn't make no difference to us, would it?

Why should it? They're your folks.

# We're gonna have a party

# Gonna have a party We're gonna have a party... #

Honeybell, are you too lazy to sweep that dirt out the door?

--This is where YOU sweep it. -You don't have to do what

-I

-do. -You tell me to.

Boy, how many more times will I have to climb that hill?

-Something for me?

-No, keep sweeping.

Ma, paper doylies to cover the spots on the table.

Why spend good money on somebody you've never seen?

-He's Ellie May's husband.

-We don't know what he is. He may be on a leash!

-Put the chow mein in the oven.

-Can I help?

-Yes. Close the door.

Honeybell, unwrap the candles.

GRANDMA: What are we havin'? A wake?

Now, Honeybell, I want you to remember. Don't talk too much.

-Can't I even move my mouth?

-So long as nothing comes out.

-Can't I even say my piece?

-What piece is that?

-Granny learned me a new one.

Better not.

-No use learning it if I can't say it.

-Some other time.

­ Her letter said she didn't want you to make a fuss.

-Yes. She said she wanted him to meet us just like we are.

-What else does he expect?

Ma, why can't I get married?

You will. All the women in this family are soft in the head. MOTORBIKE ENGINE

-Well, here we are. Give it a toot.

-TOOT-TOOT-TOOT

They're coming. Hurry up, now, Honeybell. I've got to fix myself.

-Ma, make 'em feel at home, will you?

-I surely will.

-Your folks sure got as far away from it all as they could.

-It ain't much of a place.

Looks all right to me.

-I told you we was poor.

-I've been thrown out of worse places than this.

-Wait a minute.

Before we go in...

C'mon.

Here we are. This is Honeybell. Give me your hat.

-Honeybell, this is Ed.

-Well...

-You're Honeybell?

-Who'd you think I was?

-I thought you was two other people.

-Did you bring me a present?

-I plum forgot!

-If I'd knowed that, I wouldn't have washed my neck.

-Grandma, this is Ed.

-Glad to know you.

-How d'you do?

-Where's Ma?

-She'll be out in a minute.

Sit down, young fella. Who d'you think you're starin' at?

-I ain't staring.

-He wasn't staring.

-I ain't at the zoo, you know.

-I never said you was.

So sit down!

-Oh, Ma!

-Ellie May. Oh, it's good seeing you, baby.

Ma...

-This is Ed.

-Well...!

So this is your young man. My, ain't he handsome!

-Honeybell, did you give Ed a kiss?

-Why should I? He didn't bring me nothin'.

Nobody learnt you them manners but yourself. Ed, do sit down. Supper'll be ready anytime now.

I... I seen you once before.

-You dropped in for gas one day.

-What gas you talking about?

-At the beach. The day you were with Uncle Fred.

-With who?

-HONEYBELL: What Uncle Fred?

-Uncle Fred? Oh, of course!

Of course I remember! I knew I'd seen you someplace before.

-Where's Pa?

-Where d'you think?

-Well...

Pa went to the library to find out something about them Greeks.

-Pa's what you'd call a bookworm.

-You got part of it right, anyhow.

Come on in. I want to show you.

This is where my pa does all of his writing.

Everything them Greeks wrote is right in here.

Philosophy. And he changes it into English.

-That'd sure be over MY head.

-He's plenty smart.

-Doesn't he do nothing else?

-He gets drunk and falls in the ditch.

Run along, Honeybell. Over here's his diploma. They gave it to him at college.

-It says what for, but I can't read it so good.

-He must be some guy.

I wish he was here so you could meet him.

You run on out there now and make yourself at home while I fix up.

-You tell him a piece, Honeybell.

-I can't.

-Why not?

-Ma told me to keep my mouth shut.

-Oh, run along.

-If I get canned, it's your fault.

-All right.

Come on out here and say your piece.

Oh, look at her following Ed around. Cute.

-Ed, take a comfortable chair.

-Thanks.

-You don't see a good-looking man around here often.

-That ain't why I'm following him.

-Now, now.

-Ellie wants me to say my piece.

-Maybe Ed don't want to hear it.

-No, go ahead, I'd like to hear it.

-She says it cute. Don't forget the motions.

-So, what is it?

-Don't Swatch Your Mother, Boys.

-Ed's tired...

-GRANDMA: Leave her be.

Shall I say it? < Go ahead.

Don't Swatch Your Mother, Boys.

Don't swatch your mother, boys Just cos she's old

Don't mop the floor with your face

Think how her love is a treasure of gold

Shining through shame and disgrace

Don't put the rocking-chair next to her eye

Don't bounce the lamp off her bean

Angels are watching you up in the sky

Don't swatch your mother, it's mean.

-Very good.

-That ain't bad.

Homer...

-So, you have a visitor.

-I didn't expect you back so soon.

I can imagine. So this is why you're trying to get rid of me.

-Nobody's tryin' to get rid of you. This is...

-I know who it is!

So, Mr Hawkins, you affront me in my own home.

-Listen to me.

-You think I'm a fool.

-It's Ellie May's HUSBAND.

-My name is Wallace.

I'm sorry.

So you were ashamed to have him meet Ellie May's father.

< He always turns up at the wrong time!

-Pa! There ain't nothing the matter, is there?

-< He's pie-eyed again.

-Pa, ain't you feeling well?

-PA: Why didn't you stay away?

-Homer, please.

-Now you know. You know what we are - outcasts. All of us, outcasts!

-Don't cry, Pa.

-< Maybe some of the gin will run out of his eyes.

-It's all right, Pa.

-Come on, let Mamie put you to bed.

-Let's take his coat off, dear.

-Why'd you have to bring him here, darling?

-Don't look so surprised, young man. Ellie May must have told you he was a souse.

-She didn't.

-What kind of a family did you expect to meet?

-I don't know.

We're just like you see us. Ain't no better or no worse.

-Who works in this family?

-We ain't gone on relief.

-What are YOU? A millionaire?

-No, I ain't.

-I might have known it.

-So you put Ellie out cos she didn't fall for a millionaire.

-Who says so?

-You did, didn't you?

-What's she been saying? She ran out by herself.

And, besides, she took my best pair of slippers.

-I think I begin to get the idea.

-You begin to get what idea? HONEYBELL: Ain't you stayin'?

-No, I'd better run along.

-Our supper ain't good enough for him. Ain't he the stuck-up mutt?

And you don't ever have to come round here again!

Nya-nya-nya! Stuck-up mutt! I'm a-seethin'.

-Ellie May, I'm so sorry.

-Oh, it's all right, Ma. Ed'll understand.

-Where's Ed?

-He's gone. You're well rid of him.

Ed! ED!

-Where's Ed?

-He couldn't take it.

-Did you say anything to him?

-I couldn't be bothered.

HONEYBELL: You called him a stuck-up mutt.

-Oh, baby...

-Ma, Ed's gone.

Ed! Ed...!

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

-You ain't crying cos she lost that big baboon, are you?

-Ma, I've had enough excitement for one night.

Anyhow, it'll leave more chow mein for the rest of us.

-Are you ready to eat?

-I don't want nothing to eat.

HOMER STARTS RANTING

-I'll show him who's got courage in this house! Mamie Adams! Where are you?

-Homer...

Put that down.

LIVELY MEXICAN TUNE

-Ed, where have you been?

-I've been busy.

-We missed you.

Hey, gang, look who's here!

Well, if it isn't our wandering boy!

Carmelita, look who's here.

Hey, jaco! > Hey, boys, give him a chord.

# Da-daa! #

-Where's the ball and chain?

-Let's not talk about that.

What's the matter with him? Don't ask ME.

-What's the matter, Ed?

-I just feel kinda low, that's all.

-A little domestic trouble?

-What d'you ask that for?

-It was gonna happen sooner or later.

-What d'you mean?

-I don't want a punch on the nose.

-What are you trying to get at?

Well, everybody figured you were stuck on that Adams kid.

Well, maybe I was.

-So what?

-That's why nobody said anything.

We figured you knew who Mamie Adams was up on Primrose Hill.

You're a pretty right guy. Nobody wanted a punch on the nose. So nobody said anything.

HE PLAYS: "Believe Me, If All Those Endearing Young Charms"

Back so soon?

-Ain't Ed here?

-Ain't he with you?

-He just ran out on me.

-He let you come down here all by yourself?

-I didn't mind. I hitched a ride.

-Why'd he run out on you?

-Everything went wrong.

-I guess my folks didn't set with him so good.

-He ain't married to your folks.

-Maybe it don't pay to be honest.

-It don't with weak-minded people.

I'm gonna find him.

Why don't you calm down?

You make too much fuss about him. I'd like to know what your folks has got to do with YOU.

NOBODY dare go too far back. Bound to find somebody that was hung for horse-stealing or something.

Hello, Bluebell? Is Ed Wallace there?

No, I don't want to talk to him. I just want to know is he there. ..Thanks.

Grampy, would you drive me down to the Bluebell?

I'd like to take this with me and hit him over the head with it. I might get better music out of it!

Come on, let's go.

Ed. Company's come.

-You weren't at home. Why did you run out on me?

-I didn't like the party.

-It didn't turn out so good, did it?

-No.

-Ed, ain't you feeling well?

-You said it.

-I'd better take you home.

-Who wants to go home?

-But I gotta talk to you.

-And tell me more of them lies, huh?

-I ain't never gonna lie to you no more.

You said it.

-C'mon, join a live party.

-I'd much rather talk to you.

-You can talk.

Hey, folks. I want you to meet somebody with a lot of class.

-Lolita, Carmelita, Dalya.

-I think I know everybody.

-Sit down.

Waiter!

Now, how about a drink, huh?

THEY ALL RE-ORDER

How about you?

-I'd like a glass of milk.

-LAUGHTER

Maybe we ain't good enough to drink with.

-That other stuff burns my throat.

-I forgot to tell you. She comes from a pretty strict family.

They all drink milk, don't they?

That's a good one. >

-We'd better go.

-Ain't my friends good enough for you?

-It ain't that. It's just I sort of got a headache.

Your old man gets a headache writing about them Greeks.

-Maybe cannery girls ain't good enough for you.

-I ain't said nothing.

-Who do you think you are?

Course, we don't come from a swell neighbourhood like Primrose Hill.

Yous is all nice girls.

Sure.

Hey, big boy, save one of those kisses for me. >

I got rouge on me. You got a handkerchief?

All right. Never mind.

I don't like that raspberry flavour. You used to use vanilla.

Please don't do this to me.

-Why? Can't you take it?

-No, I can't take it.

-Well,

-I

-had to take it. Tell them what a sucker you made out of me.

Tell them how your family chased you out when you took up with me.

Tell 'em.

Come back here.

So you can't take it, huh?

Ed, please leave me be.

Who do you think you're fooling with that act? Go on out and jump off the end of the pier.

-Maybe I'll stop you(!)

-Go ahead, I got it coming to me.

-I'll say!

Go on back to Primrose Hill where you belong, back to that swell family of yours.

Do your lying up there!

I only lied cos I loved you, Ed.

What kind of a guy do you think I am?

You're a swell guy. I ain't blaming nobody. It's my own fault.

Only, I wish you hadn't said them things in there. I wish you'd just hit me instead.

Now, get this straight. I never want to see you again.

All right, Ed.

I won't bother you no more, if that's the way you want it.

That's the way I want it.

Hey...

Hey, you're going the wrong way. Ain't you gonna jump off the pier?

Come on, big boy. Forget about her. Let's have some fun.

Get away from me.

Just a few minutes ago, Honeybell came running over to my house.

We sent for a doctor fast as we could.

Miss, you can't go in there.

-But I live here.

-Are you the lady's daughter?

How long have you had the gun in the house?

-WEAKLY:

-We ain't had it very long.

What happened? What happened, Ma?

-Are you sick, Ma?

-It ain't nothing, baby. I'm...all right.

-So you went to the drawer to get something out of it and the gun went off.

-That's what happened.

-That ain't how

-I

-think it happened.

< Why?

Don't pay no attention to her. It happened like I said.

Her and my husband don't get on so good together.

POLICEMAN: You shouldn't say things you don't mean.

Doctor, it ain't nothing serious, is it?

She should be in hospital but it's too dangerous to move her. What she needs right now is rest.

Well, take it easy.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Everything all right... with you and Ed?

Don't talk about that now, Ma.

Sure. Everything's all right...

between me and him.

Good...

I'm so glad.

Poor Homer.

Poor boy.

Let me see. That'll be 92 cents.

What's the matter? Your arthritis kicking up? No.

Maybe it's your liver. Maybe.

I've been trying some of those new thyroid pills.

Your change. Like to try a couple? Look here, Earl,

you take care of YOUR liver and let me take care of mine.

-Does that make you feel better?

-A man needs some pride.

-You ain't gonna rid your mind of her doing that.

-I ain't done right - is that what you're saying?

-You know what's best for you.

-Don't mention her name around me no more.

I ain't gonna mention it. But things WAS different when she was here.

-I

-was different. YOU was different.

-I don't want to hear about it.

-Fine.

-But I think you're blaming Ellie - her - for something she ain't done.

-I'm blaming her for lying.

Maybe she lied cos she was in love with you.

She must have been(!) Making a sucker out of me with all my friends.

Hmph. Your friends ain't perfect.

All that guck about her family being strict. That family strict?!

They left a taste in my mouth.

-She ain't her family.

-I can't trust her after all them lies she told me.

-You have your faults.

-So do you.

Darned right I have. I wouldn't like people who had none.

Let's quit talking about it.

-I won't bring it up again.

-You better hadn't.

-I won't.

Can't you move? ­

He sits around like a tired vulture.

There ain't much to pick on.

Some hot broth for you, Ma.

-Doctor says you oughtta take it.

-Ain't no use, baby. I couldn't get it down.

-Why don't you eat something yourself?

-I ain't hungry.

At least get some sleep. I'll sit here with your ma.

Ma...

I want you and Homer to go out a minute.

I want to talk with Ellie May.

Ma, you've got to rest.

Such a lot I got stored up.

I gotta talk about it.

Ellie May...

If anything happens to me,

will you take care of them?

-Please, Ma, you mustn't talk like that.

-I want you to promise.

I promise.

A lot of people is born... to be looked after.

And others is born to take care of 'em, I guess.

It just seems to happen that way.

Ma, maybe you'd better try and get a little sleep.

It ain't all been fun, baby.

I laughed a lot of times...

when I didn't feel like laughing.

And I've cried a lot of times, too,

when I didn't feel like crying.

It seems kinda nice...and peaceful lying here like this...

..just talking things out.

(Peaceful...)

Go to sleep, Ma.

Eat your soup and stop fussin'.

I'm sick of eatin' soup. That's all you're gonna get.

There's some on the stove if YOU want it.

MOTORBIKE ENGINE

-What do YOU want?

-I want to see Ellie May.

-What about?

-I just come up to tell her I've been wrong.

-Well, she ain't here.

-Where is she?

Gone to San Francisco with another fella.

-Won't be back for a week.

-I don't believe it.

-You don't?

You think she'd hang around here wastin' time on you

when she can get a real fella with plenty of money?

Didn't she leave me no message?

Oh, yes. She said if that big horseface come around, I was to tell him where to get off.

And it wasn't the North Pole.

-So she's gone to San Francisco.

-That's what I said.

-You want me to spell it out for you?

-No, I guess not.

Send her clothes back here. And, while you're at it, don't forget my patent leather slippers.

Who was it? Just one of the neighbours.

MOTORBIKE STARTS UP

Sssh. She's asleep.

BIKE PULLS AWAY

-There wasn't nobody here, was there?

-­ I ain't seen nobody.

Did YOU, Honeybell? Nobody that I know of.

MOTORBIKE ENGINE FADES...

..AS TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

Ellie... Ellie!

Ohh...

Oh, Ma!

Ma...!

MA...!

-I'll be right out, taxi-driver.

-Honeybell, take off your rubbers before you go in.

-Want some coffee?

-No. I want to talk to Ellie May, then I gotta go.

-Thank Mr Hawkins for everything.

-I will.

-We wouldn't have had no funeral but for him.

-He's what I call a real gentleman.

-They don't come no better.

-I'll leave my phone number and address in case you need anything.

-Thanks, Thelma.

We'll get along somehow. We always have.

You're takin' this too hard.

I hate to go in there. The place won't seem the same without her.

You've got to be sensible. Here - my telephone number. If things get tough, give me a buzz.

I can introduce you to some REAL people. And they won't walk out on you, either.

Gosh, I'm hungry. Well, you shouldn't play so hard.

When are we gonna eat? When Ellie May gets here.

I'm sick of that potato soup. You gotta take the bad with the good.

If Ma was here, we'd have some goodies. Well, she ain't. Stop talkin' about her.

-Did you bring something to eat?

-Here's some bread.

-Bread(!)

-You wouldn't have that if I hadn't walked all day.

-GRANDMA: No job yet?

-There wasn't any.

-Did you try the canneries?

-I tried everyplace.

If you had any sense, things'd be different around here.

Don't pick on me. I'm tired.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. Thelma dropped by this afternoon.

Got a nice fella for you to meet. But I s'pose you're too highfalutin'.

We'll make out all right without Thelma.

-If YOU don't mind starvin' to death,

-I

-don't.

-Didn't Pa find nothing?

-He found a gin bottle somewhere.

-Is he like that again?

-His breath would wither a geranium.

And if he don't stop mumblin' into his beard, I'll call the authorities.

Oh, Pa, did you go and sell the rest of them books?

Why'd you do it? You said you wasn't gonna drink no more.

Is that you, Ellie May?

-Where's your mother?

-Pa, don't talk like that.

-She should be here, looking after the family.

Why isn't she here?

She'll be here...soon.

Come on, Pa. You gotta lay down.

I'll help you.

-I won't be treated like a little boy.

-No, you're not a little boy.

< Come on out and get your supper.

You said you was hungry. I can't eat that stuff.

Eat it or I'll push your face in it. Makes me sick to look at it.

Me, too. But, with a sister like yours, that's all you can expect.

I wish my ma was here!

-Oh, Honeybell. Don't carry on like that.

-I don't want to live here no more.

I'll run away and never come back.

Your ma knew how to take care of her family.

-Why did she have to go away?

-Please, Honeybell, you'll make ME cry.

-If you'd quit moonin' about that hamburger guy, you might get some spunk!

-Oh, hush, Grandma.

He ain't going out of his way for us.

Look, Honeybell, don't cry no more.

We'll have lots of food to eat and lots of presents.

Everything's gonna be all right.

There, I think that just about does it.

-You don't look bad for a home-made doll.

-Let me have a look.

Say, you look better in that than I ever did.

-It's swell of you. I ain't never had such a lovely dress as this.

-I never wore it much.

-PHONE RINGS

-Maybe that's your boyfriend.

Hello?

Hello, Putsy.

I'll say I have, and she's cute as a bug's ear.

Sure we'll be ready.

About 7.30? Oh, what's wrong with that? I've had a lot of good times in 'Frisco.

We'll meet you out front. OK? Goodbye.

-Was that him?

-That was him.

-What kind of fella is he?

-A livewire, if I ever seen one.

-Is he young?

-Well... he thinks he is.

What's his name?

You're as green as a salad.

-What did I say that was so funny?

-No matter what a man's name is,

-he wants to be known as Mr Smith.

-There's an awful lot of Mr Smiths.

-I'll say. Let me see you walk.

-Oh, I can walk.

You'll do. I'd better be getting dressed.

-How about getting out my white satin?

-Yes, Miss.

-Where are we going?

-We'll have dinner and then a nice drive along the coast of 'Frisco.

I guess that sounds all right.

-D'you mind doing me a favour?

-Just name it.

Could we stop off at the Bluebell? It's on the way.

-Why d'you want to stop off at that joint?

-There's a guy there that I owe something to.

I just want to pay him off.

-Good evening.

-How about a table?

-I think so. Follow me.

-We've got one in the corner.

-Is that the best one you got?

-Let's have a drink at the bar.

-I'll have a better table in a while.

-Good.

-This is REALLY a joint.

Some people think it's high-class but the booze is good. Hello!

-Still catching them sardines?

-How're you doing with those suckers?