The Two Mr Kissels

CHILDREN LAUGHING AND SHOUTING

Andy!

Yo, buddy! Am I in "Green-witch"?

Greenwich, Connecticut, yes, sir. What address are you looking for?

Number 200, Highpoint Street or Road.

Road. That's the Kissels.

What you do, just continue down here. It winds on a little bit.

And take your first left, then your first right after that and you'll find it right away.

-Thanks.

-Have a good day.

'I've heard it said that God would live in Greenwich, if only he could afford it.

'One doesn't move here to flaunt one's fortune.

'One moves here when one doesn't have to.

'A neighbour's wealth is simply presumed.

'Never asked, nor offered.

'Greenwich, Connecticut is where a man comes to reinvent himself.

'Like strong fences, discretion makes excellent neighbours.'

'There we are. If the American success story had a name, it would be ours - the Kissels.

'We had it all -

'private schools, thoroughbred horses, yachts, matching Porsches.

'You name it, we owned it.

'My brother and I have lives most people only read about.'

'There I am. That's me.

'Andrew Kissel, one of Greenwich's elite.

'I reinvented myself all right.

'I reinvented me dead.

'Oh, the press will be all over this - a second Kissel brother found dead in the basement.

'Or the headline in The Post - "Two Millionaires, Two Corpses".

'So much for the American Dream!

'Do you want to know how we got here? Don't ask me.'

Andrew Kissel? Wasn't he the rich dude that got killed?

-No, that was his brother.

-Then that makes two dead rich dudes.

Get outta here!

-One, two... This proves that money doesn't buy everything. You know what I'm saying?

-I guess not.

'Good evening. I'm Nancy Grace.'

Thank you for being with us tonight.

What a story out of a posh enclave in Connecticut!

Andrew Kissel was found stabbed to death 27 times, hands and feet bound,

his head covered in a T-shirt in the basement of a 14,000-a-month mansion.

-Did you kill your husband?

-Is it true you're 40 million in debt?

-We just want to hear your side of the story, Mrs Kissel.

-Did you bash his head in?

Do your homework. That's Nancy, the other Mrs Kissel.

You remember, Nance. He was the one from the Cab.

-You said he looked like a Chippendale dancer.

-Tim, Tom, Tony? Something like that.

-I thought you had a little thing with him.

-No, I didn't. Did I?

Who can remember, all the blow we were doing?

-Make it tighter. I'll lose another five pounds before the wedding.

-In three days?

-She'll do it.

How could you forget a Chippendale guy in your bed?

You work a double shift, then party your brains out every weekend.

It was a good night if I could remember where my bed was.

-Adios, party days!

-Raise your hands if you thought

-the last person Nancy would end up with is a rich Jewish banker.

-Bitches, you're fired!

Raise your hand if you'd remember a Chippendale guy in your bed... Yes.

This colour makes me look awful.

Lizzy, you look incredible.

You all do. Come here. Come on. I need a posse hug right now!

I am getting married.

I am going to be freakin' Mrs Rob freakin' Kissel!

-Champagne! We need champagne!

-Yes, two bottles.

-Give me a hug.

'What can I say about Rob?'

How about outstanding at everything he has ever tried from athletics to academics?

He's a shining star in our family.

He's a hero to his sister Jane.

Huh?

And he's a steady port in a storm for his brother Andy's, um...

adventures.

LAUGHTER

I'm kidding, Andy. I'm kidding.

And now Rob's on his way to NYU Business School...

Where's the first place you're going to do me now that we're married? Cos my nipples are hard.

Your mother would be so proud of you. To my son Rob and his new wife Nancy. L'chaim!

ALL: L'chaim!

SLOW DANCE MUSIC

Would you like another one?

Oh, yes. I should love one immediately.

Are you foreign?

-Pardon me?

-Like English or something?

You don't sound like you're from here.

Hmm. I take that as a compliment.

-OK.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

This is for you and this is for me.

Who are you?

Who would you like me to be?

Sir, may I have this dance with my new sister-in-law?

Well, just don't break her. We've got plans later.

-That's private.

-All right.

# And take you into the night

# And show you a love like you've never... #

-So...

-Hmm?

How does it feel?

-What?

-You're officially a Kissel now.

Meaning...?

Meaning...it's a contact sport.

SHE LAUGHS

Go ahead, you can admit it. I'm a better dancer than my little brother, huh?

It'll be our little secret.

The only secret we're going to have is that whatever game you're up to,

I've already been there, done that.

All right, ladies, put your heads together.

That's it. Here we go. Ready? One, two, three.

-That's great. Thank you.

-Come here.

I feel like I've a smile glued on my face.

Ready? Back!

-Oh! Lizzy, where's your shot?

-I'm going to have to work out in the morning.

-Are you serious?

-What?

-It's my wedding and you're being a drag.

-No, I'm not.

-Yeah, you are. A workout's more important?

-No. I just don't like tequila...

-You've been complaining about your dress since you saw it.

-I didn't say anything like that to upset you.

Forget about it. Forget it.

'She was like a light.

'You know? She could just illuminate a room.'

But she could turn it off just as fast.

She never spoke to me again after the wedding.

Just...snap, like that, she dropped me!

And I wasn't the only one.

It was her way or the highway.

I think underneath it all Nancy was just deeply insecure.

'Spending Rob's money seemed to be the only thing

'that made her feel important.

-'And boy, did she spend Rob's money!'

-I want it!

Oh, please, please, I want it, I want it! Oh, yes.

Oh, please, please, please!

I will be very good.

MOANS WITH PLEASURE

-You know what?

-What?

I think we should... I think we should open the wall up to the view.

You know, the door's over here, right? We just take down the wall from here all the way to here.

We're not seriously talking about this, are we?

And then we put an eight-burner Viking stove right here.

-Do you know how much that'll cost?

-I don't care.

-And when I'm done with you...

-Mm-hm?

-You're not going to care either.

Do you think you can afford a new house?

-Thanks, bro, but I'm not 15 any more.

-Except for when you leave your socks on the floor.

-My allowance just got a little bit bigger.

-Year end bonus - it's big.

Why are you dumping your money into real estate when the market's booming?

Whatever Nancy wants, Nancy...seems to get.

-Smart man, huh?

-Mm-hm.

-I'm glad I'm not in the middle of that.

-God, Andy, what?

Are you just jealous you didn't buy one first?

What is this? It tastes funny.

Pollo con rajas. It was one of our most popular dishes at The Cab.

So you were a chef as well as a waitress at the Mexican restaurant?

She was a manager, Dad, but you knew that.

Oh, right, manager.

So have you called Hayley yet? You really should meet her.

Come on, Janey, somehow I don't see my future including some ski bunny

with perennial chapped lips and wind burn. It's not part of my aesthetic.

She was the World Mogul Champion in '83. She's Ivy League and she's rich.

How rich?

-All kinds of shit.

-Right, car parts?

-Car accessories.

-Right.

-OK, there's a difference.

I was in high school, I needed the money and I got it. That's something you should know about me.

I love first date confessionals. Do tell.

I'm not like the rest of these whining losers which is half the population.

If I want something, I get it.

What if something gets in your way?

I don't let things get in my way.

Can I get you anything else?

Just the check. Oh, hey.

HE WHISPERS

This feels good. You and me.

Your sister didn't tell me you were, um...so driven.

A lot of people don't know me. I mean, I'm not exactly an open book.

Am I going to get to read a couple of those pages?

I am seriously considering it.

And what's the first thing I'll discover about Andrew Kissel?

You think I'm driven now?

Well, you ain't seen nothing yet.

GLASS CLINKS

Drinks on the house, compliments of Mr Andrew Kissel!

APPLAUSE

Big shot, huh?

-Sweetie, could you kindly bring another one for my brother?

-No. No, thanks. Just water.

-Come on.

-What are you so uptight about? I'm the one getting married.

-I've got to get back to the office.

You know, Rob?

I think Dad likes her. Hayley.

I think he approves of her breeding. You know what I mean?

What, are you getting married or are you buying a thoroughbred?

What do you care what Dad thinks anyways? You just slay me, Andy.

-Didn't I tell you to call me Andrew from now on?

-You were serious?

Everybody could call you Prince Charles the Great and you'd still just be Andy from New Jersey.

Andrew. Andrew.

Andrew.

How long does it take two women to buy a dress anyways?

Oh, God, these are both so kick-ass, I can't decide.

Who do I want to be?

Madonna or Audrey Hepburn?

They're both form-fitting, anyway.

I know. Rob says my breasts should be one of the Wonders of the World.

Thanks for sharing, Nancy, but a little TMI.

What about this? This looks matronly enough for you.

Aren't you on television? Business person or something?

I am on air quite a bit. I'm a stock analyst.

-Excuse me...

-I knew it. My husband loves you. I can't wait to tell him I met you.

You know what?

I'll take both of them. No, actually, I want all three.

I want them all. Just put them on my husband's account. The banker.

Did you hear? Rob just got another promotion at Lazard Freres.

Nancy's going to need a whole new wardrobe.

It's nice. It's sweet.

CHEERING

Congratulations!

She's the most beautiful bride, isn't she?

Stunning.

Do I have lipstick on my teeth?

Hey!

There you go. There you are.

She promised to love me for richer, for poorer, right?

Well, yeah, that "poorer" part, that's a little lie.

Let me see it. It's been blinding me all day. Let me see how much my brother spent.

-A lot. I know.

-Wow!

-I'm afraid to walk out of the house!

-It's beautiful. Oh!

-What do you expect from me?

-Only the best.

-Right?

GASPS OF ADMIRATION

I wish I'd done that at my wedding.

It's over, babe.

Oh, we're just getting started, Mrs Kissel.

Did I kill my husband?

Absurd.

Baseless rumours of tabloid vultures.

Did I want to?

Absolutely, from time to time.

Any wife who doesn't has taken a dangerously high dose of Xanax.

We were human.

But there was a time...

There was a time when we were all full of promise.

With a market return of over 12% in the last six months,

the '90s appear to be a decade in which everyone is going to make money. Everyone.

It's good. That's a nice car. I like it.

# The best things in life are free... #

What do you say, Robbie? What do you say, huh? Come on, what do you say?

-Yeah.

-OK, OK.

-# That's what I want

-That's what I want

-# That's what I wa-a-a-ant

-That's what I want

-# That's what I want

-That's what I want

# Your love gives me such a thrill

# But your love don't pay my bills

-# I need money

-That's what I want

-# That's what I want

-That's what I want

-# That's what I wa-a-a-ant

-That's what I want

-# That's what I want

-That's what I want... #

Soccer moms aren't on the sides of the fields talking about their kids.

They're trading tips about Microsoft and Amazon stocks.

Go see your doctor and I guarantee he will mention Reynolds Media before he gets to your blood pressure.

There's a joke going around about how to make money in today's market - wake up in the morning!

# But what it don't get, I can't use I need money... #

Ready? How about that, huh?

Isn't it beautiful?

That's the office.

Another fireplace in there.

Do you want to see the kitchen?

-# Lots of money

-That's what I want

-# A whole lot of money

-That's what I want

-# Uh-huh

-That's what I want... #

All right, Juan, one of your jobs is to take care of the babies.

-Babies?

-Uh-huh.

-Babies, sir?

-Mm-hm. My cars.

Oh, OK.

Which one is yours?

All of them. These are all my cars.

-Very nice.

-Yeah, yeah. Mucho nice, right?

Robert...

What's your number? 20 mil? A billion, what?

I don't know. I haven't thought about it. You want olives?

-Everybody thinks of the number.

-Everybody thinks about what?

-The FU number.

You have enough money in the bank where you can tell the world to "f-off".

No boss, no obligations to anyone. You live free for the rest of your life.

Tell me your number cos that's what I'm going to make for you.

-I have a business proposal, a partnership. I'd like to call it Hanrock.

-Hanrock?

He's naming it after us - H-A-N-R.

Cos underneath this tough skin, your brother's just a sentimental family guy.

Andrew! You're suffocating the baby with that thing.

-BABY CRIES

-I'm putting it out.

-Stay and listen. I'm proposing a business partnership.

-We have dinner reservations.

Hanrock is going to deliver a return on your investment that is friggin' incongruous.

-It's what?

-Hear me out. I'm naming the company after us. That's how much I believe in it.

To Hanrock.

Hanrock.

Georgie, another bottle of Dom!

So Hanrock's first acquisition is going to be a group of tenements in Hudson County.

-I've already set up the whole thing.

-You mean slums? Hanrock is going to be a slumlord?

I think the term is "under the radar" property.

It's not like we'll be living there, Nancy, for God's sake!

-He wants to flip them - sell them quickly for a profit.

-I know what "flip" means.

It means we're going to be stupid rich.

Newsflash, Andrew.

-Money doesn't buy you happiness.

-Oh, yeah?

Well, it can buy me a boat big enough to sail right up next to it.

What I mean is there's other things in life. More important things.

-Nancy, don't get all "holier than thou" on us.

-What might that be?

-Babe, don't start.

-Let her finish. Tell me.

What more to life? I'm interested.

Family. When are you two going to start one?

We're already planning our second, aren't we, baby?

I'm just going to go to the loo.

All right.

What was that about?

-Your brother's taking you for a ride.

-Come on.

Me "come on"? He wants us to think it's all about family, naming Hanrock after all of us.

Then what does he do? Hmm? He asks you for 500,000 to get it off the ground.

-It's a good opportunity.

-Half a million dollars!

-We can afford it. Let it go.

Hey...

Don't worry.

Andy just needs to prove himself. I won't let him take advantage of us.

Making money is what I do for a living, remember?

-Could you be more condescending?

-Nancy, not this again!

The three of you practically drooling over getting rich!

-You've taken a vow of poverty? I missed that.

-I have eyes. He's manipulating you.

-Please!

I may be an artist, but I still understand what's going on.

-Taking pictures of yourself naked? That kind of artist?

-You're a prick!

OK, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Really.

Driver, stop the car!

You don't even know who I am!

Nancy!

I think that went very well.

What do you think?

I think your brother married a bitch. There, I said it.

"We're planning for our second."

No, I'm talking about Hanrock.

I think Rob's going to go for it.

Half a million bucks.

-Like being a broodmare is some sort of accomplishment.

-Come on, it's all going to be OK.

Hey...

Who's looking out for you, huh?

Mr Kissel, you know, he's so smooth.

He's like... He's like the perfect rich man.

'Everybody wants to be like that.

'I'm lucky to work for him.

'I drive him, odd jobs, whatever.

'I love him like my brother.

'I'm the last one to see Mr Kissel alive.'

And everybody thinks I killed him.

Do we even know that person? Do we know them?

-Is that a new bag, Nancy?

-Yeah.

-Oh, it's gorgeous!

It's too bad you'll never be able to afford one.

Oh, what is that?

For me? Are they for us?

-Who do you think they're from, huh?

-Maybe Daddy.

-Daddy?

Look at all the flowers!

Oh, flowers!

Honey, what's going on?

Hi!

This is for you.

Hmm! You've either done something really bad or really good!

-Open it.

-What is it?

-Just open it.

It's big.

Oh, my God!

Honey, it's beautiful. I love it.

-Keep looking.

-Are you going to put it on me?

-Yeah.

OK...

Hong Kong? Vacation?

I got a promotion.

-Big?

-Huge.

-Really?

Come here.

They're letting you take a trip to Hong Kong first?

We're moving there.

What?

Yeah.

What, do I look like a piece of furniture to you?

Nancy, this isn't a promotion I can turn down.

You fill the house with flowers, you give me a necklace, you think it's OK?

Rob, I've got a life here. I've got friends, my career.

It may not be important to you, but it's my life.

-Were you going to ask me?

-It doesn't have to be for ever.

Do you have any idea how much money we're going to make there?

Is that all you ever think about? You're a selfish pig!

Oh, she's so cute.

-She's got my eyebrows.

-Yes.

-She is just precious. Congratulations to you both.

-Thank you.

-You should wrap her in your shirt or your petticoat for good luck.

-Look, we're at your floor.

-Bye. Precious!

-BABY CRIES My petticoat?

-Petticoat?

-I don't like the idea either.

-Welcome home, Babe Ruth.

-You have to stop calling her that.

-What happened?

-I bought the apartment next door.

-What about the Belzers?

The Belzers made a pretty penny from me and so did the Davises upstairs.

-I bought their apartment too.

-No?

-Yes. Come here. Look at this. Huh?

You just wait. It's going to be splendid.

Wait. Can we afford this?

All right, baby? I'm a little undercapitalised right now, but don't worry, you can trust me.

Can I hold her? There we go.

Look at this new house.

Look at your new place, babe.

Hayley, I'm going to be the best dad in the whole, entire world.

Everything my father did I'm going to do in reverse.

-Hmm?

-I was never good enough.

Even now it doesn't matter how good I'm doing.

-Oh, well...

-I look in his eyes and I see this reflection of a loser,

like I have to do more, be better, bigger.

And it's still never enough.

Ruth...

I'm never going to make you feel like that, baby.

Hayley...

Hey, listen.

Let's have a bunch of kids.

That's easy for you to say.

I feel like I just got run over.

We'll get one of those big tables for the whole family

and you'll sit at one end and I'll sit at the other.

We'll look at each other like that scene in Citizen Kane,

except there'll be a bunch of kids in between us.

The Kissels.

Hmm...

I like that.

# My mama told me to stay away from boys like you... #

So I told him to put on a 14-speaker, 300-watt surround sound system.

So what is that, a 20,000 custom job?

-Milk, milk!

-Me too, me too, me too!

-Nance, would you grab the milk?

-25,000.

Do I look like the maid to you?

On top of the 60,000 for the Mercedes?

Bro, life is not a dress rehearsal.

OK.

Well, happy saving!

Andrew's becoming a legend in our Co-op.

They've asked him to oversee the renovations in the lobby and to be on the board.

Did you see Rob's picture in the Journal? Big piece on Goldman Sachs sending him to Hong Kong.

-Dad, it's nothing.

-Your picture's in the Journal?

-Are you Master of the Universe or did you have a goofy smile?

-Goofy.

You never see how hard he tries.

So he takes risks. So what?

That's what makes him good at what he does. Maybe you could just acknowledge that or something.

Phil Donahue just joined the table.

Anyway, the Journal says that you're on the cusp of a big new business boom, distressed deals?

-Hong Kong, what?

-A rising star, huh? Young Turk? It's everything we've ever dreamed of.

-Best decision we ever made, eh, honey(?)

-That's enough, Nancy.

She's just, uh...

-She's been a little tense lately.

-A little tense? More like unhinged.

I'll be right out.

Sorry.

-Charlie, what's your ultimate FU number?

-30 million and I'd tell the world to kiss my ass.

40 million and I'll take the wife with me.

Then you should come into Hanrock with me.

-Speaking of wives...

-I'm serious. We could do some business together, you and I.

-We'll talk.

-30 million.

-I hope I didn't seem pushy.

-No, no, no.

-It's just that...

-My fault. I should have had the papers.

-The rest of the board need to see the numbers.

-It's come up a few times. The lobby is looking great. I don't want to second-guess you.

-Of course.

Just cross the T's and dot the I's.

-Kind of my CPA twitch.

-Then you, sir, shall have the papers here in the morning.

Great Armagnac. As always.

Yes, it's the best. It's absolutely penultimate.

-So I can expect those files in the morning, right?

-Yes, sir.

-Good night, gentlemen.

-Good night.

BREATHES ANXIOUSLY

Andrew?

-Hey!

-Hey.

-Girls asleep?

-Yeah. How did your meeting go?

-Good. You know, the same old Co-op biz.

-You look pale.

-I'm fine.

-I'm going to get a little work done before bed, OK?

-OK.

Somebody from the bank called and left a message. An overdraft or something?

Oh, yeah, Debbie screwed up a deposit. I'll take care of it in the morning. I'll be up in a bit.

No, still?

Yes, God, yes!

-Like how often?

-A lot.

Like a lot a lot!

I love sex with my husband.

I love it, love it, love it.

That should have been a tip-off. Who brags about loving sex with their husband?

-Who actually has sex with their husband?

-At the time, it seemed Nancy had the world on a string.

Three great kids, maids. Rob had just been hired by Merrill Lynch. He was the star of distressed debt bankers.

But I think the truth was Nancy was profoundly lonely.

The more his star rose, the more she lost her bearings.

No-one will take out a violin and play a sad song for us. A typical day is shopping, lunch, spa treatments.

-Nancy could shop!

-The trade-off is you never see your husband.

-We're banker widows.

When you live in a place where you get used to having all of your desires satisfied like this,

loneliness can become very dangerous.

I go now, Mrs Kissel. All the children are sleeping.

Mrs Kissel?

Good night.

Andrew, Andrew! Look what you've done. You've transformed this lobby.

-All your hard work, your connections.

-Thank you. I'm glad you're happy.

I never said it before, but tacky...

That's what this was before you...

Andrew?

Maybe if SARS hadn't broken out in Hong Kong

or maybe if Robbie hadn't sent Nancy and the kids back to Vermont to keep them from catching the virus

or maybe if she hadn't met the cable guy...

You can say a thousand "maybes", but what happened, happened.

Whoo-hoo! This rocks! Whoo-oo!

-Are you fixing our TV again?

-Yeah.

Go back and play, sweetie. Don't bother the nice man.

You're a horny little thing, aren't you?

-I've found your tool.

-Oh, yeah?

What are you going to do with it?

You'll see!

NANCY LAUGHS

This is so out of control.

Rob is going to drop a brick.

I'll be like, "Yeah, little man? You think you can control me?"

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Give me a sip.

Oh, mother...

SHE LAUGHS

Want to know what time it is?

-Do you like it?

-Do I like it? Are you kidding me?

It's worth more than I made last year.

You've got to stop spoiling me with all this stuff, you know.

-You've given me a lot more.

-Yeah, right(!)

-I mean it.

You're the only one who really knows me.

To everybody else, I'm just the ex-waitress that was never good enough for Rob.

Maybe they should try working on their feet all day.

You see me underneath all the money crap.

Yes, I do.

My foxy little bad girl!

-Come on, I'm serious.

-Me too.

I don't want to go back to him, Tony.

I want to stay like this.

I want to get back to my photography. I want to be me.

And walk away from all that money? Come on!

-Watch...

-PHONE RINGS

Oh, God!

Can't he leave us alone?

Hey.

Whoa, whoa, Robert. We're fine. It's almost 12 o'clock. What...

Come on.

You know what the cell phones are like here. We never get any service.

Look, can I call you back?

Yeah, I was sleeping.

All right.

CAMERA SNAPS AWAY

Hello. It's Mark Collins. Mr Kissel, I've got some bad news for you.

I'm outside your wife's home right now.

His name is Tony Pellicoro.

He lives down the road. In a trailer park.

-I think you need to stop lying to us.

-I do not prevarify. The files are in a storage in Jersey.

-Prevaricate.

-Pardon me?

Prevaricate. The damn word you want is prevaricate!

I don't understand this hostility.

-Sit down.

-You've given us over a million dollars in phoney bills! You've created fake companies.

You've borrowed 2 million in the condo's name!

-Tell us there's some mistake, Andrew. Give us an explanation.

-Forget it! It's all in these files.

Black and white. He's been conning us.

4 million? You stole it from us? From your own neighbours?

Andrew...say something.

I...

I think I need a Valium.

He called again this afternoon.

Yeah?

What did he say?

He said that he loves me and that he wants to work things out.

Smart man.

I have to go back to Hong Kong.

He said he'd pay to bring you over if that's what would make me happy.

I take it back.

He's never going to let me go.

What are you going to do?

I am going to get exactly what I want.

And what's that?

Everything.

Mommy, isn't that the lady who steals from us?

WHISTLES CHEERILY

You happy?

-Or haven't you humiliated us enough yet?

-What goes better with this suit? The blue stripes or the gold?

-I hear from gossiping neighbours that you're going to jail.

-I'm not.

-It's like we're freaks on Geraldo.

-Stop, OK? All I have to do is pay back the 4 million.

I'm not going to jail. And we'll make more when we sell the apartment.

-You're treating this like a business plan. Who ARE you?

-I'll go with gold.

Stop it! Stop ignoring me!

-Andrew, what have you done?!

-I've made us money, Hayley.

-Money?

-That's it?

-Yes. To make money you have to gamble and take risks.

-You've turned us into pariahs for money!

-Hayley, you have no guts!

We're your family, Andrew! Tell your children why you have done this to them.

Cos I want them to be proud of me.

What?!

The girls.

I want them to be proud of their father.

Mommy?

Is Daddy coming home?

Of course he is, honey. He's just working late.

Let's get you back to bed.

LATIN MUSIC PLAYS

-Mr Kissel?

-Ahh...

-Mr Kissel...

-Que?

-I'm going to take you home now.

-Hm?

-I'm taking you home.

-Home?

Juanito, this is my home. This is my home, look.

These... That whole place is my home.

These girls, these are my home girls, as you would say.

OK?

-Let me get this...

-OK.

-All right, let's get out of here.

-Help me. No, help me with... Get that bottle.

-All right, come on.

-Please...

Chicas, let's go. In the car.

The party's over.

All right. Back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You look nice. Is that a new dress?

You want me to meet the President in some old schmatte? Great(!)

What? I said you look nice.

Want to see the receipt for this one, too? It cost 3,000, OK?

-Happy?

-No, frankly.

-You cheap sonofabitch.

-How dare you go through my wallet.

-Just want to know where my money goes.

-Yeah? Kiss my ass.

Classy. Goes with your new tattoo.

Shut up.

Rohypnol. She's doing Google searches on it.

-Rohypnol?

-You've heard of the date rape drugs? It's one of them.

-Funny.

-I'm not being funny.

You read about it.

-What are you implying?

-What did you tell me the other night?

One Scotch and you felt dizzy.

No, Mark...

-She's my wife. The most dangerous thing is her credit card bills.

-You put spyware on her computer.

-I'm just collecting the data.

-I think you're being paranoid.

-That's what you're paying me for.

Just be careful.

OK.

You like? You like?!

It's great.

'After the co-op thing, Andrew moved to Greenwich and started over,'

buying everything that wasn't nailed down and some things that were.

'Cars, an Italian yacht, buildings, businesses, restaurants.

'When his daughters wanted riding lessons, he didn't just buy horses, he bought the entire stable.'

He even got into Broadway productions. You want to know how good Andrew Kissel was?

The guy embezzles my own co-op to the tune of four mil.

After I finish suing the bastard, I become his partner in Hanrock.

Call me nuts, but what can I say?

'Money is the water in the desert and you and me, we're on our knees in the sand.

'We're crawling towards it. And Andrew Kissel, well, he was the faucet that made it flow.'

It's going to be OK again, right?

Right?

-'Money.'

-Here comes Daddy.

'It puts you in a different class.

'It puts you in a class that lets you believe that you can get away with anything.'

Daddy's home!

Daddy!

Pirates? I'm so scared! Please don't hurt me!

-What are you supposed to be?

-A princess.

-The prettiest one.

-Wait, I thought Halloween was last week.

-Mommy says today is Halloween, too!

-Ohh, OK.

-Go play, Mr Pirate.

-Hey, baby.

-Hey.

-Welcome home.

-Thank you.

Dinner's going to be ready in a bit.

-I'm going to go do some work.

-OK.

Did I scare you?

-What's that for?

-Just to tell you dinner's almost ready.

We made you a milkshake, Daddy.

A milkshake, huh?

Mommy said it has secret powers in it.

But really it's just a cookie.

Mmm.

You know how much I love you? Come here.

Beautiful.

-You want to invite two friends.

-Three?

-OK. Are you going to go to the movies?

-No, it's Danny's party.

-Who's Danny?

-Mom, I've talked about him for like two months!

THUD

Daddy must have dropped something.

Honey?

I'm sorry, sweetie.

TELEPHONE RINGS

No, you can't wear that costume again, silly.

-But I want to.

-Well, you can't always get what you want, can you?

Why don't you wear that pretty blue skirt? I like that one. OK? Hurry up or we'll be late. Go.

Maleah! You don't need to clean in there. It's OK.

-I need you to go to the store for me to get some rope.

-Rote?

-Rope. If you wouldn't mind.

-Thank you.

-PHONE STOPS RINGING

I'd like to have some items put in our storage space, please.

I'll need at least two men.

I'll be here. Thank you.

Hello? Yeah?

You're kidding. He didn't show up? Did you try his cell?

It's a little heavy, guys. Sorry.

Go open the door for them, sweetie.

All right. Just be in touch. Thank you.

Pee-yew(!)

Don't be smart, sweetheart. ..Thank you. Bye-bye. Come on.

Are you hungry?

Let's get you something to eat, OK?

Tony? Pick up the phone.

Can you hear me?

Tony?

Are you awake?

It's me.

Hey, sleepyhead! So...

I took care of it.

No, I'm not kidding.

What are you wearing right now?

-You said it would be here...

-I know. I'll get you the money.

..and still I ain't got jack. I'm out 60 grand and some angry men want to cut my balls off.

-What did I say?

-Huh? Same line you used last week and the week before.

-I've got this new secretary. She probably screwed up the deposit...

-You wanna play big-shot developer?

Buy up all this land, huh? Make you some money?

You don't know squat. PHONE RINGS

-May I just...

-Rule number one...

-I'll have her call the bank.

-Hello?

-Don't screw with me!

Hello? What?

Just two hours after finding the body of millionaire banker Robert Kissel,

his wife Nancy has been charged with bludgeoning him to death.

Police are releasing few details about the murder, but do say Nancy Kissel has been taken into custody.

'Welcome back, everybody. I'm Nancy Grace. A man who was pulling down millions of dollars a year

'as a Merrill Lynch banker in Hong Kong has been murdered,

'bludgeoned to death and wrapped up in an expensive rug.'

'It's not like he wanted Rob to die.'

He loved his brother.

But for the first time in his life Andrew was out of Rob's shadow.

'Finally, Andrew got to be the great man he'd always wanted to be.

'And for a second I thought things were going to get better. I really did.

'We took in Rob and Nancy's children.'

There wasn't an inkling, not an inkling of a clue that Nancy could do something like that.

Drugging your husband? Clubbing him to death?

-For the cable guy?

-This just doesn't happen.

-Not to people like us.

And at the trial Nancy claimed it was self-defence, that Rob was a drug addict and he raped her.

-No one believed a word of it.

-Maybe Nancy did.

We had dinner with her when she was out on bail. We saw a whole new side of her.

After all this is over, I'm going to take the mother of all vacations.

I'm thinking Mexico or St Bart's. God knows I deserve it after all this crap.

Any place warm with a beach. Some place...

..away from all these little people.

-Nancy, you're on trial for murdering Rob.

-Oh, please. The Chinese will never convict me.

A Merrill Lynch banker's wife?

What kind of message would that send to the rest of the world?

Without us, this country would fall apart. And I have a little plan.

A little plan?

What? You're looking at me like I'm crazy.

Excuse me? I said Szechuan.

Hotter. I'd like it hot.

Mm!

We should go dancing.

-Then there was the Asian thing.

-Right. The Asian thing. You couldn't recognise her.

I guess that was part of her plan.

That was a question, Mrs Kissel.

I have no recollection of that.

Do you remember that you spent three nights in the bedroom with your dead husband's body?

Blood all over the bedclothes, the wall and furniture?

-I don't recall.

-Do you recollect the phone calls to your lover, Tony Pellicoro?

-No.

-52 times in September of 2003.

106 times in October of 2003.

24 minutes on the morning after you bludgeoned your husband to death.

Six times a day after.

-I don't remember.

-Do you remember your phone call of November 4th?

To tell your girlfriend you were flying to San Francisco for cosmetic surgery on your breasts

with the body of your dead husband still lying in the bedroom.

-No.

-Well,

tell me, Mrs Kissel, do you remember asking your four-year-old son to hold open the door

so the body of his murdered father could be carried past him?

No.

And then what?

Your plan was just to leave your husband's body

in the Parkview storage locker number 148669 for eternity?

And no one would notice?

'Frankly, I've heard of better plans.'

The truth is Nancy bought six boxes of peppermint oil to hide the smell.

And rumour had it she planned on shipping the body to the States.

Nancy was good at a number of things. Getting away with murder wasn't one.

This court finds Nancy Kissel guilty of murdering her husband, Robert Peter Kissel,

on the night of November 2nd in the year 2003.

As I'm required to do by law,

I impose a sentence of life imprisonment at the Tai Lam Women's Institute.

-No, you can't take that...

-GUARD SHOUTS

Don't touch me! Get off! Get away!

Does somebody speak English? I need someone who speaks English!

Please, I don't belong here! I want to go home! I miss my husband!

Please, I want my kids! I want to go home!

Please!

Look out! Here I come!

Here comes the dolphin! I'm coming!

Here I come!

Look out! Here I come! Here I come!

CHILDREN GIGGLE

And the lion gets the money! And... Oh, this is an alligator.

Well, the alligator...

'It appeared that everything Andrew had wanted was coming true,

'but what Andrew said and what was real were generally not the same things.'

Both hands go up in the air. When you got a nose job, it doesn't work.

Both hands up in the air.

-The plane is ready when you are.

-OK.

-Do they have hot dogs in Hong Kong?

Charlie wants a meet. I'm flying him to Vegas to meet some money guys.

Aunt Hayley, you have to drive me to ballet.

It's just business.

Eat your food, sweetie.

Any women at this meeting?

Hayley, I don't do that any more.

We're going to be gone two days.

-Oh, Kissel!

-Not bad, huh?

-Don't forget the girls' riding lessons.

-Stay out of trouble.

-Viva Las Vegas.

-You know how to live.

-Hey, what happens in Vegas stays in our pants.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Charlie, Charlie...

-Yeah?

-These girls should be in our play, huh?

-Yeah!

-Can you act?

-I can't act, but the girls do.

The girls do?

'The thing of it was it was all a lie.'

All of that. Not just the bad deals - that goes without saying.

But Andrew himself.

The thing about a conman is he can't tell the difference.

Even his lies were lies.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Whoo!

-Hello?

-'Who is this? How does it feel to screw someone's husband?'

-Whoa!

'I'm not screwing anybody! I don't even know who your husband is!'

-Find the biggest sonofabitch in that room and tell him his wife called.

-..Hey, that's my phone.

Argh!

CHARLIE: 'Here's how it worked.

'He stole the notary's stamp of a lady who worked in our office.

'Then he would pay off a mortgage on one of our properties, using the notary's stamp to verify it.

'Then he would take out a new mortgage on the same property. And he'd do it again...and again.

'By the time the Feds figured it out,

'he'd already defrauded the mortgage companies and spent over 35 million.

'The thing is, all parties have to end.

'After that, it was a house of cards.

'He was facing State and Federal charges for grand larceny,

'bank fraud and embezzlement.

'Andrew got out on bail, but it didn't make much difference.

'He was a prisoner in his own home.'

In my country, people is very poor.

You go hungry. You come to America to get rich, to get famous.

Gold is on the streets, you know?

'Mr Kissel, I love him like he is my brother.

'And now I'm the prime suspect.'

Is it true you failed a lie detector test?

It was reported you were the last one to see him. Is it true?

10 million, huh?

10 million?

Andy?

-You're suing me for 10 million?!

-Andy...

What did you expect?

I made you my partner.

-I am just trying to hang on to what's mine.

-I made you part of my family.

-Go home.

-What are you doing? Don't do this.

-My family.

H-A-N-R-O...

Let go!

You've... You've lied to everybody who's ever gotten close to you.

-You lied to me, the banks.

-I gave you balls!

-Come on, Andy.

-I made you a winner.

-You call this winning? Dragging us all down?

Everyone who's ever trusted you. How far down do we have to go? Have we got to taste your puke?

-I made you.

-It's over.

-I made you.

-It's over.

-I made you.

-Go home!

-I made you!

-It's over!

-I made you!

-Go home!

I don't have a home!

Mrs Kissel. OK for phone now.

Some sun. You need it.

Nancy?

Nancy, are you there?

Nancy,

listen, your kids are OK, they're good. OK?

But the courts... the courts don't think that, um...

I'm not allowed to keep them.

So...so Jane is going to take them.

Nancy?

My babies?

Do they ask about me?

Do they think I'm a horrible mother?

'Nothing made sense any more.'

Everything in our universe was suddenly...upside down.

I'm leaving, Andrew.

I have the girls.

The movers will be back in the morning.

'I didn't kill my husband.

'He was already dead when I left him.

'He died when Rob died.

'Or maybe...maybe he died many years before that.'

-Is Daddy coming?

-Later, sweetie.

'Whenever it was, he died hungry for something that never existed.'

Why?

WHY?!

-WHY?!

-Si...

I'm here, Andy.

Why...

Where are they?

'I am the last one to see Mr Kissel alive,

'but as I leave, I lock the doors and I go.'

CHARLIE: 'You want to know who killed Andrew Kissel? Throw a dart.

'It could have been half a dozen guys -

'a pimp, drug dealer, one of his business partners.

'He screwed us all with his cons.'

Some people - I'm not naming names -

aren't the sort of guys you want to screw.

People say it was no accident that he was stabbed in the back. Retribution.

But here's my favourite theory.

'Andrew Kissel killed himself.

'Police said there was no forced entry. So whoever did it was someone Andrew wanted inside the house.

'Say he pulled one last con.

'You see, insurance companies wouldn't pay for suicide,

'but if he got killed some other way, then his family would get taken care of.

'And that's all he really cared about. In his own way.

'It was the most selfless thing he ever did in his life.'

Like I said, we had it all. Everything money could buy.

We lived lives people like you only read about.

Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd - 2011

Email [email protected]