A Date with the Falcon

Is this the building?

Yeah, Max says it's all fixed.

There ought to be a Western Union boy along here any minute.

-Which room is he in?

-Third floor.

This is hydrofluoric acid, gentlemen.

It is the most positive test as to the genuineness of a diamond.

A synthetic diamond has never been made that will stand that test.

Not until now, Mr Wallis.

You've seen me manufacture one of these stones right here.

The other one is a product of nature supplied by your association.

You may take one of them back.

Your diamond is worth 1,000.

Mine can be duplicated for about 25.

Be careful to pick the genuine stone.

-You might fool the naked eye, but not this eye-loupe.

-We'll see.

-Are you an expert too, Mr O'Hara?

-No, I'm from the police department.

I have to protect these gentlemen's interests - if they have any left.

My invention will never be used in that manner. If it were, it would ruin the diamond industry.

-So, what's the answer?

-The defence industries are badly in need of commercial diamonds for drills

and other tools. My diamonds must serve for that purpose only.

You hope.

This is our stone.

No, this is.

Wait a minute...

Boys seem to be having some trouble.

-You're right! This is the genuine stone.

-No, I think you're right.

This is the one.

Well, it looks like you're running a dead heat with Lady Nature.

We should have studied our diamond beforehand.

I have examined the original stone carefully. Let me look them over. I'll return the real one.

I'm gonna trade my wife's ring for a washing machine!

-This is your stone.

-Are you sure, Mr Sampson?

-Positive.

-We'd better report this to the association.

-I think you're right.

-Suppose we meet you here at two o'clock tomorrow, Mr Sampson?

-Fine.

-I shall be prepared to repeat the demonstration.

-Thank you.

By the way, Inspector, you'd better arrange to have Mr Sampson guarded.

-Yeah.

-That won't be necessary.

-I've kept this work a close secret.

-I'm going to send over a bodyguard.

-You could be worth a lot of dough to somebody.

-O'Hara's right. We must be careful.

-Well, just as you say.

-See you tomorrow.

-Goodbye.

So long.

-Mind if I have a pick at that phoney rock?

-Not at all. You may keep it.

-I have more.

-Yeah? Well, thanks.

That's quite a flasher, ain't it?

I want to show it to the guys. Well, thanks, Mr Sampson.

Stay right here till my man comes. Sit tight and I'll take care of you.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Who is it?

Telegram for Mr Waldo Sampson.

You'd better push it under the door.

Thank you.

-Mr Sampson?

-Yes.

-That ain't my finger in your ribs. Let's go quiet.

-But I...

-Come on.

This is Bates, chief. Sampson ain't here.

How do I know where he went?

Well, after making a thorough examination,

I deduced the following facts.

First, he must have forgot the combination to his safe.

What do you mean, how do I know?

A guy don't blow his safe open if he remembers the numbers!

That's great(!)

Second, he must have forgot where he put something,

because he wrecked the place trying to find it.

But I came right over and he ain't here!

You've got nothing to worry about.

I'll get right on his trail.

When it runs out, meet me by the employment office on 6th Avenue.

I'll be on my way. Next time you see me, I'm apt to be married.

-Then again, you're apt not to be.

-Mike!

-I haven't time to buy you a drink.

-What's the rush?

-I'm meeting my fiancee's family. Goodbye.

-Oh, let me buy you a drink!

Now look, Mike, what's on your mind?

Nothing! Just social!

Yeah? The last time you had that social look on your face,

-it took me three months to disentangle myself.

-So suspicious!

-Same.

-You didn't just happen to drop in here, did you?

No, Goldy told me where you were. It was like taking his teeth out.

-You should have told him why you wanted me.

-I did. I hear you're in the market for an engagement ring.

I'm gonna send your gal some horse blinders for a wedding present.

I know her from somewhere.

-Atlantic City's always good.

-What were we talking about?

-Your engagement.

-Oh, yes, I'm ordering a ring.

-You don't have to.

I'll sell you a diamond cheap.

-Take a look.

-I thought the great O'Hara was above graft.

Just tell the great O'Hara what you think that rock is worth.

It's a beautiful stone.

I'd say about a thousand.

Take another look.

Well...1,500.

You can have it for 25 bucks.

-Phoney?

-Yeah.

HE WHISTLES You must be a very worried man

-with stones like this in circulation.

-That ain't the half of it.

-The guy that made that rock has been taken out of circulation.

-Oh, I see.

That's why you're here.

-Thanks very much. I'm leaving town.

-Now wait a minute.

Look...

I don't like this setup. A guy ain't safe with the Falcon in the picture.

Neither is a girl, if he's anything like he used to be.

-You'd better leave this to me.

-OK.

You play your hand. If he passes, I'll be out front with Dutch.

So I send Bates over to this Sampson guy's laboratory. No Sampson.

We check on his hotel. He's moved out the night before.

-What do you make of that?

-I don't want to make anything out of it.

-I faithfully promised my fiancee...

-Falcon, you can't let me down.

You're the one guy that knows this diamond racket inside out.

Get thee behind me, O'Hara.

-Are you leaving?

-I'm leaving the business if I don't find that guy.

-I may help you when I get back.

-Don't let it worry you on your honeymoon.

I'll try not to.

-You don't seem to remember me, Mr Lawrence.

-It's extraordinary.

I don't know how I could have forgotten, but I have.

-Won't you join me?

-Thank you.

Where could it have been?

-Try to recall a certain Christmas in Bucharest.

-Bucharest...

It was several years ago at a party given by the Duke of Warnburg.

Oh, yes! Yes, I remember now.

The night the Duchess lost her beautiful blue diamond necklace.

Very clever of you to find it on the Christmas tree

after the police had given up.

I wonder who hung it there.

What are you doing in this country?

Oh, I read somewhere that this is the land of opportunity.

-I bet you've found it so.

-Quite.

I'm working on something now.

-There's enough for two, if you're interested.

-You should count me out.

Would 50,000 as your share interest you?

That's TOO interesting.

Oh, I...

I think I'd better leave before I weaken.

Nice seeing you again, Rita.

Your girl is waiting for you while you're drooling over that cookie!

-Is Helen all set to take off?

-She's all set to take a powder on you if you ain't home in a track record.

-We'll grab a cab and be there before you have time to say, "Yeah."

-Yeah.

Waiter. Telephone, please.

Who was that dame?

-A very fascinating woman.

-Every time you say that, we get into trouble.

-I think she was angry.

-How angry?

-In the right mood, she's capable of almost anything!

-Like what?

Yeah? Ain't you in enough trouble with one dame

without sticking your chin out to another? Oh, what's the use?!

-She ties in, Goldy.

-With what?

The missing guy called Sampson.

Hey, you ain't getting yourself tangled up with something, are you?

-Not if I can help it.

-What was you talking to O'Hara about?

-Sampson.

Boss, if that dame had anything to do with the guy that was snatched

and she sees you getting chummy with O'Hara and she's dangerous...

BANG! BANG!

Just a motor backfire, bud!

That's what I thought.

But I could have been wrong!

He doesn't want to play on our team, Max. He seems to have changed.

-How much does he know?

-Too much.

O'Hara has already contacted him.

-I don't care to run any risks. You understand me?

-I always have.

Don't worry, Max.

-Wait here. I want to pick up a peace offering.

-Hurry, will you?

What a guy. Bring her a load of heliotropes and she'll swoon.

-That's just till she gets him hooked.

-It's a gift. Well, he can have it.

Dames!

Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Gay?

-You used to be my star customer.

-Darling, I've been busy.

-What have you been doing?

-Seeing a lady about a wedding.

-A wedding?!

-Wrap up some roses for me, will you?

-I never thought they'd get you in that corner.

-It's when I'm in a corner that I fight my best.

That's too bad.

You're too nice and undependable to be taken out of circulation.

-It's a crime.

-Well, I can't solve it. It's a perfect crime.

-May I use your phone?

-Go ahead.

Police headquarters?

Inspector Michael O'Hara, please.

Who's that? Joe? This is Gay Lawrence. Put Mike on, will you?

Good evening. What can I do for you?

I know a guy who's one jump ahead of the undertaker. What have you got?

Flowers for a sickroom or a funeral?

-I think he's gonna take a turn for the worse.

-Aw! I'll take care of you in a moment.

-Right.

Are you still looking for Sampson?

I'll give you one good tip and from then on, it's up to you.

BANG! BANG!

SHE SCREAMS

SHE SCREAMS

Help! Help!

Help!

-Help!

-Anything I can do for you?

-Anybody hit?

-No.

-Then drop the dame and let's get out of here!

-Goldy...

-Is this really the time?!

-I can't desert a lady in distress.

-You think SHE'S in distress?

-Take a gander at that!

-Goldy, that's just somebody trying to scare me.

They part my hair in the middle, trying to scare YOU!

-I've told Helen that I'll be along in a few minutes.

-OK, but I doubt it.

Listen, give him five more minutes. It's just five minutes of eight.

-And our plane leaves at eight. I'm getting out of here.

-Wait.

-The boss'll have a good excuse.

-I'm fed up with excuses.

-Why did O'Hara call here?

-How should I know?

-Well, I know.

Gay's deep in a crime, and there's always a beautiful woman involved.

Why is that? Never an ugly criminal type. Always a glamorous woman!

-Now you're just gibbering.

-After he promised to give up crime and women!

-There are plenty more planes.

-And there are plenty other men.

-I guess I'll shop around.

-Plenty of dames have tried to nail that guy,

-but have they got him to buy a ring?

-Yes, three of them.

-My error.

-No, mine. I should know better.

-Smarter women than I have failed to land him.

-They've been TOO smart.

-Now, you...

-Oh, so now I'm dumb!

Hey! Wait!

Hello, darling. Little kiss?

-Goodbye.

-What was that for?

-He called me a dumbbell.

-How dames distort the truth!

-Let's calm ourselves. If I'm a little late...

-A little?! We've got two minutes to catch our plane.

-Do you think we'll make it(?)

-No.

-Stay out of this!

-I was clearing my throat.

-Listen, darling...

we mustn't get ugly about this. Everything's going to be all right.

I just gave up a 50,000 deal because it would interfere with our trip.

-Some rich young widow, I presume?

-No, just a dreary foreigner

-by the name of Rita Mara.

-She sounds glamorous to me.

-You couldn't be more mistaken.

She's a skinny old hag.

-Honest?

-Honest.

We'll take the next plane, darling. Nothing can stop us now.

BUZZER

I'll get it. Are you in?

-Make him announce himself.

-Announce himself?

I'm busy.

I don't want to see anyone unless it's very important.

OK.

-Is Mr Lawrence in?

-Ain't you the dame he was talking to earlier?

-Yes, but...

-He ain't in.

-That's too bad. I had a friendly tip for him.

Yeah? OK, lady.

-Announce yourself.

-Miss Rita Mara.

-Louder.

-What do you mean?

-Announce yourself. It's the boss's orders.

You gotta give out, with the thing.

MISS RITA MARA!

That might do it. Wait here.

I told you I was busy...

I don't want Helen to see her, so don't let her in.

Ask her to come back some other time. Tell her anything...

Oh, Miss Mara.

-Um...may I introduce Miss Reed?

-How do you do?

How you've changed!

A skinny old hag, huh?

Is everyone mad here?

-Just as I was getting everything to run nice and smooth.

-That's too bad.

-Why did you have to come to my apartment?

-I came to invite you to take a little trip with me.

-Really?

-Yes.

A friend of mine wants to see you.

Cigarette?

-No, thank you.

-I'm sorry, but I can't go on trips with everyone.

Why not?

Thank you. Won't you change your mind now?

Come on, get going.

I shall be delighted.

-Skinny old hag, huh?

-Don't you never relax?

-50,000 deal...!

-Out of my way. I'm going in there.

-The boss'll handle her.

That's what I'm afraid of!

-Goldy!

-What's the matter?

He's gone.

This does it. I'm through!

You gonna let a dame like that shove you around?

-Maybe I'll do a little shoving of my own!

-Now you're talking!

Where'd he go? You know him.

-Where would he take her?

-You got me! I ain't got an idea.

Hey, what's this?

It's her handbag. Let's take a look.

I don't know anything and I don't want to find out anything.

-Is that why you telephoned O'Hara?

-I just wanted to say goodbye.

Max just wants to say hello.

Get a load of that drunk!

-Oh, a wise guy, huh?

-Better see what shape the driver's in.

-OK.

-Pull over!

-One crack about this ride and it'll be your last one.

-Anything wrong?

-I just wonder if you're in better shape than your buddy in the back seat.

Sock him on the nose, Dutch.

-The less you say, the easier you'll be on yourself!

-Is that so?

There were 14 hold-ups and three murders in town last night

and you're chasing a crowd that's only out for a good time.

-Shut up.

-Let me see your licence.

He's just fishing for a bribe. Slip him a ten and let's be on our way.

What did you say?

I said I've seen tougher apes than you hide inside a uniform.

Get out of that car!

No. Don't want to.

Very clever.

You heard what he said.

Get out!

Cossack!

Now repeat what you just said in that car, buddy!

You heard him!

OK, get going.

Thank you, Officer. You saved my life.

Yoo-hoo!

Come on, get in there.

..80, 90, 100.

There's your bond.

-May I use your phone?

-Yes, but don't call Honolulu.

PHONE RINGS

Yeah?

Hello, boss. No, she ain't here. She went to the other dame's hotel.

Hotel? What are you talking about?

The Mara girl left her pocketbook.

There was an envelope marked the Federal Hotel in it.

If you're still there, you'd better hotfoot it out the nearest window.

-I'm at the police station.

-Did they raid the place?

I haven't been in a hotel! I'd better go over there and pick Helen up.

If she gets back before me, hold her.

Excuse me.

-Hiya.

-Has a Miss Helen Reed been here?

-She left. Didn't you run into her?

-I must have just missed her.

-Boy, are you lucky!

-Was she perturbed?

-I wouldn't know, but she was sure burned to a cinder.

The other dame ain't shown yet.

Dame? Oh, Miss Mara.

-I'll leave a note for her. Do you mind giving me some paper?

-Sure.

-Thanks.

-It's OK. Don't cost me nothing.

On second thoughts, I may as well go through with it. Give me a room.

It's your life, chum.

-Something not too high up, say... the fifth floor.

-We ain't crowded.

(Don't sign it. You'll get into trouble. Don't. Don't.)

(Behind you.)

Oh, but, darling, I can explain everything...

-Darling, I can explain everything.

-Let go or I'll call a cop!

-Darling, it's nothing.

-Nothing? What do you consider something?

-Get going.

-Never mind, driver. I think you're out of gasoline.

Buddy, you're positively psychic.

-Why, you heel!

-At these prices, sister, a party can afford to be.

-Listen, darling...

-Go on back to that skinny old hag!

That Mara woman got me out of there with an automatic in my ribs.

-I escaped and came to find you.

-Ha-ha-ha! You liar!

It's a fact! You can feel my jaw - with your fingers, not your fist.

-How did you know I was here?

-Goldy told me.

-I might believe that,

-but I heard your conversation with that odious clerk.

-That was a ruse.

-O'Hara's looking for someone in the hotel.

-Why don't you and O'Hara get married?

That little man in there is worth a small fortune.

Darling, I was thinking of all the wonderful things I could buy you. A penthouse, furs, jewellery...

-A new car!

-..new car.

Oh, I don't know. I'm so tired of chasing you.

Darling, if I promise to be back in five minutes, will you let me check?

-Gay...

-Oh, all right. If you say no, that settles it.

-I guess we can get along without the money.

-All right.

Go and have your fun.

That's the spirit.

-Wait here.

-Yes, sir!

And the deadline's ten minutes.

You can time me.

If I see that female go in there, you'd better jump out of the window.

Yes, I'll jump, I promise.

He better stay on the ground floor!

-I'll take that room now.

-Are you still alive?

-Not a scratch.

-You do all right!

-Send up an evening paper, will you?

-Are you gonna read?

-This way, sir.

Something screwy going on here.

Fifth floor. This way, Officer.

-This guy's prowling around and then he goes into Sampson's room...

-Wait.

That's Sampson.

Looks like he's asleep.

Yeah, for keeps.

Police headquarters.

Gay, what are you doing?!

Are you crazy? You'll get killed!

Will you get off that ledge?

Gay, get off that ledge this minute! Gay, what are you doing?!

Gay, get off that ledge this instant!

-Looks like another suicide.

-No, that's my fiance.

-You told him to jump, didn't you?

-Gay, get off the ledge this instant!

-Five bucks he don't.

-You're on.

-Gay, will you please go inside this minute?!

-You'll break your neck!

Gay!

-What do you think he's doing there?

-Maybe he's a fresh-air fiend.

-Look, he's smoking!

-What brand do you think he's advertising?

Gay, stop making an exhibition of yourself!

SIREN WAILS

Come on. Break it up. Let us through.

Come on. Break it up.

He's on your left!

-He's on the left!

-Grab him! Officer, grab him!

No, to your left!

Grab him! To your left! No, to your left!

-Look!

-He's on the left.

That's my fiancee down there. She wants you to rescue me.

-What do you think about it?

-Shall I come in and tell you?

-I would.

CROWD: Aw!

Ah, he's yella!

Sure. I tagged him for a phoney.

-All right, what goes on?

-We find some bird perched out on the ledge.

-Was it nesting?

-We should rush over here to help you sort out a drunk!

-Oh, I forgot about the dead man.

-You forgot? Who is it?

-It's Mr Sampson.

-Sampson?!

It's him, all right. I might as well turn in my badge...

-I beg your pardon.

-Oh, hello, Mike.

What are you doing here? Thought you weren't interested in this case.

-I'm not. I'm just...an innocent bystander.

-Peculiar place to bystand.

He's the guy we caught sneaking in here. I don't want to poke my nose in, but I figure he's the killer.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Why? No, don't tell me.

-Let me solve it. ..Look, Falcon...

-Looks like he took a powder.

What?

-Overdose of sleeping pills, huh?

-While he was fully dressed too.

-What did you say?

-I said that your conclusion was the obvious one.

-Have you got a conclusion that ain't obvious?

-Just a hunch.

-What is it?

I suggest the sleeping tablets were forced on Sampson.

-Why don't you have an autopsy?

-Want to hear my hunch?

-Yes.

-You're under arrest.

-Are you joking?

-Yeah, like he's sleeping!

-Mike, you're not a fool...

I'm gonna have fun proving that to the Commissioner. Lock him up.

I'll be delighted, chief. Will you join me?

Mike, I've got a tip for you, if you'll pin up your hair and listen.

If you'll pin that up, I'll listen!

-What's the matter, Bates? Can't you take him?

-Are you gonna come quiet?

Yes. Shh!

I won't even wake you up.

-CROWD TALK AT ONCE

-Please let me through.

Main floor. Lobby.

Come on!

-Nice work, darling!

-Clumsy!

Going up, buddy?

Come on. Let's get out of here.

Are you all right, darling? You go on home and I'll call you there.

I'm engaged to a maniac.

CROWD AGREES

'A dragnet has been spread by the police to apprehend Gay Lawrence

'for information about the murder of Waldo Sampson...'

TRAY RATTLES

-You'd better have some yourself.

-It might make me nervous.

I may be a widow before I'm a bride.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hello.

Oh, you.

So now it's murder.

O'Hara and 22,000 cops are looking for you.

Pay no attention to it, darling.

-Just meet me at the airport in one hour.

-Shall I bring my machine gun?

-The police are probably waiting for you there.

-Wrong, darling.

O'Hara will think I'm much too smart to leave town as we'd planned.

You're too smart for my own good.

And be sure that you're not followed.

-See you in an hour.

-It'll seem like a year. And it's liable to be.

SMASH!

SMASH!

-I feel better now.

-Me too!

-Come on. Let's go.

Do you see him anywhere?

No.

Shall I have the bags put on board?

-I don't really expect to take this plane.

-Don't give me riddles!

-What are we here for?!

-We came here to see what happens next.

HE WHISTLES LIGHT-HEARTEDLY

Here he comes.

It looks as though we might be going somewhere, doesn't it, Goldy?

-Could be.

-What'll you bet? I'll give you 10-1 we don't.

I'll take it.

-Don't be so cynical. Everything's going to be fine.

-Fine and dandy.

-Here it comes!

-Am I getting to be a bore?

-You're getting to be a good detective.

-Just takes time.

-Shall we go back downtown now?

-Can't you give me a break?

-Sure. I'll try to get you a life sentence.

-If I don't get this plane, I might lose my fiancee.

-If you think he's kidding, stick around.

I know just how you feel. I've been chasing him too.

-He's got me.

-He can have you.

-What am I to do? I could be held for murder.

-Take your hands off me before I'm held for one!

I'll crack this case.

Anyway, I tried. Be careful, darling.

-Touching, ain't it?

-Yeah, it touches me for a buck!

Oh. Goodbye, darling.

Thanks. It'll be a down payment on my straitjacket.

-How about a cigarette?

-I have some, thanks.

-I'll have one too.

Thanks.

You know, Mike,

-even the smartest men make mistakes.

-Yeah, I've made a few myself.

I made one when I didn't tip you off about a fellow called Max.

Max who?

I don't know, but I think he knows plenty about the man in the hotel.

-Why didn't you tip me off?

-I started to, but I was interrupted by a shot.

Yeah? Who done the shooting?

Whoever it was killed Waldo Sampson.

That's just a theory.

It wasn't a theory that made a hole in Goldy's hat.

-Does he always miss?

-Give me 12 hours and you can ask him yourself.

And then you'd be in Mexico.

You aren't fooling me. You don't actually think that I'm guilty.

-You'll do till a better suspect comes along.

-Give me those 12 hours

and I can keep my fiancee and you your job. That's what you wanted me for, isn't it?

Well, I'll tell you, Falcon, I'd look stupid if I let you get away.

-Or if you try to pin this on me!

-I've been thinking about that too.

12 hours, Mike, eh?

CAR HORNS BEEP

-Waiting for a ticket, buddy?

-Yeah.

Make it out to Michael O'Hara, Homicide Bureau, for impersonating an officer.

Herman...

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hello? Yeah, yeah, boss.

-Let me talk to him.

-So?

Tell Helen to meet me at the cocktail lounge.

When she leaves the apartment,

I think someone will follow her, and I hope it isn't the police.

Now, what I want YOU to do is to follow them, see?

They'll be after me. When they pick me up, find out where they take me

and then call O'Hara. Get it?

-Yeah, I get it, but what is it?

-What's he up to now?

-OK.

-Let me talk to him!

Don't tell Helen anything, except that I want to buy her a drink.

And be prepared for any eventuality.

-Yeah, that's what I thought.

-Let me talk to him!

-OK. Goodbye.

Why couldn't I talk to him? I'm his future wife.

-Meet him at Jack & Joe's.

-Why?

-He wants to buy you a drink.

-Come on, what's behind all this?

-Don't ask me!

All right.

Here I go again. Anyway, we have fun...

don't we?

Yeah, don't I?

Will you tell me what this is about?

I wanted to celebrate our marriage.

-Don't you think that little murder charge might interfere with our nuptials?

-I'm not sure he's dead.

-Then why is he in the morgue?

-I don't know.

-Do you feel all right?

Yes, fine. I'll be right back.

CAR HORN BEEPS ONCE

In the car, buddy.

-Hello again.

-Get in there.

Gay!

Gay! Help! Police!

-Help! Police!

-What's the matter?

-That car! That car!

-What about it?

-They've got him in there.

-Who?

-They've got the Falcon!

-Somebody's got a bird?

-Oh, will you...?

-The Falcon? What do you know about him?

-Don't stand there like a paralysed idiot! Do something!

-All right, I will. Let's go down to headquarters.

-Oh!

Don't pull anything this time.

-I'm sorry we had to be so rude.

-Not at all. I've been looking for you.

-Really?

-I decided it would be safer to be on your side.

-You should have thought of that before collaborating with Mr O'Hara.

-I live and learn.

-Anyway, you learn.

-Would you be interested in hearing some observations I made since I last saw you?

-No.

-But I imagine Max would.

-So I'm really going to meet Max at last.

Most people do.

At last.

RADIO: 'Will Linda dare to leave Chris

'and find happiness in Tony's arms?

'Or will she defy her own heart

'for the sake of Tiny Tim?

'And what of Millicent? Where will she get the money?

'Tune in tomorrow night and hear the next episode

'in this soul-searching drama of a woman's heart.

'Don't forget. Tomorrow!'

I hope I'll be here to remember!

So Max is an importer, eh? Is that a cover for smuggling?

You'd better ask him.

Hello, Falcon.

Hello, Max.

You probably recognise Mr Sampson...

-Yes.

-Officially, he's dead.

Yes, and unofficially, he doesn't look very healthy.

I saw his twin brother.

So you weren't fooled?

No, but I think O'Hara was.

We were sure he would be. By the time he wakes up,

-we'll be out of the country.

-And Waldo will be out of existence.

Don't exclude yourself. You should have listened to Rita.

-I was too anxious to leave town.

-Is that so? What kept you?

-I forgot my toothbrush.

-Really?

How unfortunate for you.

I just persuaded Mr Sampson to give us the formula for his process.

-I thought you would.

-Dutch and I will collect tomorrow. We'll phone you here when we finish.

-I think you can close our deal with the Falcon.

-I think so.

-We'll meet at your apartment.

-Right.

-Come on, Dutch.

-Oh, your hat.

-Thank you.

-Sorry we won't meet again.

-That's one nice thing about my murder.

-Won't you sit down?

-Oh, thanks.

You'd better step on it. They look like they'd slit your throat for a cigarette butt.

OK, but don't crash the joint until some of my men get there.

Maybe it's on the level, maybe not. Take a couple of lads and find out.

-Is the Falcon there?

-Goldy says the mob's got him.

-What mob?

-How should I know?! Nobody tells me nothing!

-Embarrassing, ain't it?

Yeah.

-Are you going to fix the window?

-No, I'm going to fix you.

-Oh.

Oh, no.

Not one of those things again.

Still works, brother.

How trite!

They say the best people are using concrete these days.

Always smart, aren't you?

You're a trusting soul, Rita.

-Am I?

-Yes, you've just let Max walk out of here with a fortune.

-He collects the money and you collect a couple of murders.

-You won't talk your way out of this.

-Neither will you when the police get here.

-What do you mean?

If Max tips off the police and they find you holding Sampson.

Don't listen to him.

Worried, Rita?

Aren't you?

Not if I'm going to live until your friend Max telephones.

You won't.

-Drunk driver, huh?

-What did you say?

-I suppose you'll say it's my fault!

-You chump!

-Let me see your licence.

-Let's see your badge.

-You think you own the road. I ought to take a poke at you.

-Try me.

WOMEN SCREAM

Oh!

Turn it off. What goes on here?

-That man is drunk. He ran into my car and attacked me.

-Oh!

-You heard this gentleman. What do you say?

-Ask anybody. Who was to blame?

-You. I saw you cut in.

-He was doing a good 50.

-Come on, you.

-You don't know who he is. He's a killer.

-You can see the man is blind drunk.

-I appeal to the public's fairness.

-Don't you two answer. Am I drunk?

-ALL: Yes.

-Come on, you.

-Wait a minute. He's Murder Incorporated!

-Sure, sure(!)

-I'm as sober as a judge.

-I'll put you before one, we'll find out.

CROWD LAUGHS

Open up. Police.

BANG! BANG!

Stand back, boys.

Drop that gun.

Am I seeing things?

Get these guys loose.

Thanks, Officer.

All right, boys, reach!

-Don't be a chump, Falcon.

-Your guns.

Let's get out of here. Well, come on, snap out of it!

You'll have to forgive me for misjudging you.

-I could forgive you for almost anything.

-I hope we make it.

-It isn't the money now. It's him.

-I'll take the money.

You'll take half the money.

Naturally.

Here we are. Third house down.

They're still here.

I'll turn the formula over to you for a million dollars.

You know it's only valuable in the hands of an unscrupulous party.

Well, you're getting it.

Because I'm in somewhat of a hurry to leave the country,

I'll let you have it at a bargain.

250,000.

-Take it or leave it.

-I'll take it.

Rita!

Don't move.

I'm beginning to understand.

Don't do anything foolish...

Now you're dealing with me.

No, with me. Sit down, Rita.

Police headquarters.

-Hold that phone up for me. Do you mind?

-Would it matter if I did?

-I'm afraid not.

-Would 50,000...?

-Save it for your lawyers. ..Hello.

This is the Falcon for O'Hara... Stay where you are, Rita.

Yes, right away.

Tell him to come to 59 West 23rd Street...

-He hasn't got it.

-The formula?

-It's not on him.

Dutch.

OK, OK, we'll start all over again.

Whom did he meet when he ducked out of that cocktail bar?

WHOM do you think I am, a swami?

-Will you please DO something?

-We are doing something!

If your boyfriend's on the level, you ain't got much to worry about.

-If he ain't, you got nothing to worry about!

-Of course he is!

-Well?

-The Falcon just phoned.

-Where is he?

-59 West 23rd Street. He says to come over.

-He gets around!

Don't stand there, you oaf!

-Maybe the worst thing I could do to that guy is let you catch up with him!

-Then I shall go myself.

-Put her on ice.

-Oh, no, you don't!

-Let's waste our time.

-You heard the Inspector.

-Don't you dare touch me!

-This'll cost you your badge!

-I've heard that before.

All right. Now say six long, slick, slim, slippery saplings.

-Come again?

-Slix long, slix, slippery slap... Go on!

Walk that line!

-He can't be drunk.

-So I'm innocent? Walk that line.

A wise guy, eh?

-I'm gonna take you for a little talk with O'Hara.

-Take it easy!

Take your hands off me! Let go of me, you big baboon.

Goldy, what are you doing here?

Assault and battery, drunk and disorderly, reckless driving,

operating a car while intoxicated and resisting an officer. Otherwise, they ain't got a thing on me.

-Where's O'Hara?

-Went for the Falcon.

-Who tipped him?

-The Falcon.

-The Falcon?! I'm all mixed up.

-You're telling us!

Oh, yeah? We'll wait for O'Hara.

-Now wait a minute...

-This is ridiculous!

-Oh, hello, Mike.

-Hello, Falcon. How are things going?

-So you came.

-I never miss a party.

-You missed this one. The host has left.

-Friend of yours?

-This is Max.

-You forgot to tell me you was going to knock him off.

-It's a long story and I haven't got time now...

-Aw!

-Where's Bates?

-Goldy put him on a wild goose chase.

-Bates has got Waldo Sampson and he isn't dead.

-Bates?

-No, Waldo Sampson.

Too bad. They're burying him. I'm gonna give a party too.

-You're making a great mistake. I was an innocent bystander.

-Sure...

Gay! Darling, are you all right?

-Sure.

-Why the handcuffs?

-I'm just carrying them for O'Hara.

Only a little murder rap.

You think you're a detective, just because your arches are broken down.

Get up, you! Lady, leave my feet out of this.

-Get this dame out of here.

-Yes, sir.

-Oh, no, you don't!

-Come on, lady.

-Cut that out.

-No!

Come on, get in there.

-Hey, what is all this?!

-Bates, for once, I'm glad to see you.

-How did you round them up?

-Needles took us to Dutch's, where we found your girlfriend...

-Is that a crack?

-Hey!

-This guy is dead!

-Chief, while I still understand it myself,

-this is Waldo Sampson.

-I suppose the stiff was his twin brother(!)

-Yeah, that was Herman.

-Who?

The twin brother.

-Let me sit down!

-You aren't nearly as dumb as you think you are, Mike.

They wanted it to look like Waldo was dead, to put us off the track

-while they got the formula from him.

-How did YOU get wise?

-I had two clues - a fake telegram sent by Max, signed Herman...

-Yeah.

..and Waldo's photo in Herman's watch.

Waldo's photo in Herman's watch?

That's right. A man doesn't usually carry his picture about with him.

-Get the idea?

-Give him time!

Then who knocked off Max, or ain't he dead either?

This charming lady over there, Miss Rita Mara.

Why did you knock him off?

Ask the Falcon. It's something he specialises in.

-I framed what appeared to be a double cross.

-On who?

-Everybody.

-Including me.

-Here is where it gets mixed up...

-Never mind!

-Get them all out, so I got room to think!

-You'll need more than room.

Come on, get going. Make it snappy.

Let's go. It's getting dull.

-Wait. Nobody's leaving till I get that phoney.

-Here we DON'T go again!

-Where is it?

-Didn't they have it?

I searched them and took Dutch's joint apart. I even found termites.

Hey, give me two minutes with Dutch and Needles and I'll get the dope.

-How?

-You take a piece of paper, a match...

-Now it's arson?

No, I'll make a fire. We take off Dutch's shoe, heat up his toes.

When it gets warm, he'll talk!

-What's this?

-I dunno.

-Where did you get it?

-I got in a fight with Max. When I reached for his gun, all I got was that paper.

-This is ALL you got?

Is this Chinese writing?

That's it. That's my formula.

Darling, I love you!

-Oh! It was practically nothing...

-It's the luck of the stupid.

-Looks like this puts you in the clear.

-Thanks, Mike.

Oh, no! I'll take that key. We're leaving and don't try to stop us.

Are you gonna come quiet, Falcon?

So long, gents.

You're on your own now. What a break for crime!

All right, you can go, Herman.

I'm Waldo.

Well, darling, we're on our way at last. Isn't it wonderful?

10,000 feet above any possibility of trouble.

I can hardly believe it!

Why, Homer Bilkie! Hello, Homer!

-What happened the night you went out for cigarettes?

-You're mistaken.

Aren't you Homer Bilkie? The fella that took me home from that backstage party at the Empire?

No, I'm not. How could I be?

I don't go to backstage parties.

My fiancee doesn't approve.

Oh. I get it.

I guess I was mistaken.

Homer has a mole on his nose.

Warm, isn't it, Homer?

Darling, I swear I've never seen her before in my life.

-If I'm not telling the truth, I hope we crash.

-Uh-oh!

-What do you want?

-A parachute!

Subtitles by BBC Broadcast