Skyrunners

-I like your necklace.

-(GIGGLES)

-It shimmers.

-Thanks.

-So, are we gonna meet tonight?

-Yeah, yeah.

-OK. (BOY SHOUTING)

-Did you hear that?

-No. No. No, I didn't hear a thing.

-Nope. (BOTH GIGGLE)

-(BOY) Nick!

-Wait, isn't that your little brother?

-Yes.

-(GIGGLES) Go deal with him. I'll see you in a couple of hours?

-Yes.

-Oh, yeah.

-(GIGGLES) OK, bye.

-Bye.

-I'm gonna deal with him, all right.

-Nick!

-Nick?

-(GIGGLING)

Good hanging with you, Darryl. Hi-five.

-Just kidding.

-That's funny, man.

-Hilarious.

-I thought so, too.

-(LAUGHTER)

-(GIRL) See ya, Tyler.

-Bye, Ty. Catch you later.

-(SIGHS)

Freshmen. All right, I'll see you later, man.

-Wh-What? Nick?

-I'm just kidding.

-Don't just stand there. Get me down.

-OK, OK, bite down on the stick.

-Open your mouth. Trust me. All right. You ready?

-(SHOUTS)

-(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

-Uh, Nick? I'd like to get home with all my pieces still attached.

-What's the rush?

-Two words, little bro.

-Julie smokin' Gunn.

-Julie Gunn?

-Yes.

-She's beyond smokin'.

-She is scorching.

-Scorching.

-She is blistering.

-Blistering.

-She is -

-She is sneaking out to meet me for a midnight rendezvous.

-You're such a liar.

-No.

-Here, take my phone, take pictures.

-I want photographic evidence.

-Yeah, yeah, in your dreams.

-Drop me off and drive the truck home.

-Drive home?

-Yeah.

Me? I'm 14, Nick. I don't have a licence and I'll go to jail.

"Look at me, I'm 14. I don't have a licence. I'll go to jail."

Have you ever seen a jail cell? It's just a bed and a toilet, with no seat.

I get shy in the bathroom at the mall.

(WHOOSHING) (EXCLAIMS) (TYRES SCREECHING)

(PANTS) (WHOOSHING)

(BANGING) Oooh.

(PANTS)

Whoa!

-What is that?

-Tyler...

..we just found ourselves...

..a genuine, bona fide...

..real-life UFO.

-Is there anything in there?

-What do you mean, like an alien?

No, it's empty.

-(PHONE CLICKS)

-(PHONE) "Say cheese."

-(PHONE CLICKS)

-(PHONE) "Say cheese."

-Don't touch that!

-What?

-It might have radiation or something.

-Oohhhhh.

-Or not.

-(DIALS BEEPING) What are you doing?

-We gotta report this.

-What?

-No, this is ours! We found it!

-It is not!

-Give it back! Give me it, Nick!

-All right!

-If you find a wallet in the street, is it yours?

-Depends on what's in it. Give me a hand.

In five minutes, this place is gonna be swarming with cops, helicopters, the marines.

-That's why we gotta hide it.

-We can't just keep a UFO, Nick.

-Mom won't even let us get a dog.

-No, this is a spaceship!

This is a real spaceship, man! We found it! This is ours.

It landed right in our laps. This is a chance of a lifetime.

Come on. Help me pick it up.

-At our trial, I'm blaming you.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just pick it up.

(BOTH GRUNT)

-Nick, I want you to drive like grandma. 55 and stay alive, OK?

-All right.

-All right.

-(SIREN BLARING)

Get in the car. Come on.

(ENGINE STARTING) (TYRES SCREECHING)

Hold on! (SIRENS BLARING)

Nick!

(YELLS)

(SIRENS BLARING)

(TYLER YELLING)

Eight years of straight As and I end life as a crash-test dummy!

-We're going off-road!

-Oh, no! Ah!

-"Blue six, did you acquire the target?"

-Negative. They escaped.

-(COW MOOING)

-But I'll get 'em.

(MUFFLED RADIO COMMUNICATIONS)

-(SIGHS) That was awesome.

-(TYLER'S MUFFLED SHOUTS)

-Ahem.

-Oh, hi, Mom.

-Hey, Mom.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Nick's truck broke down.

-That's a good one. I used that on your grandma once.

Come on, Ty, we can't lie to Mom. We gotta tell her the truth.

-Now?

-Hm-hm.

-(SIGHS)

-Are you kidding?

-I mean, are you serious?

-Absolutely. OK, Mom, the truth is...

-..Darryl Butler and the football team taped Tyler to a tree.

-(GASPS) Oh!

(YELPS) My baby's a freshman! Oh! (LAUGHS)

Hey, listen, I've just finished sewing your play costume. It is so cute!

-Come on, try it on!

-(CHUCKLES)

-Oh, I'm so proud.

-Good on you. (LAUGHS)

Hey, all right.

When they expect you to lie, partial truth!

-All right? Totally throws them off. All right?

-Fine.

-OK. Let's go.

People have been arguing about UFOs since for ever.

Are they real? Are they watching us?

And why did you let me try out for this stupid play?

So we could ridicule you for the rest of your life. Right, boys?

-"Yes!"

-OK, this is bigger than Einstein or Columbus.

-That spaceship should be seriously studied.

-I know, man. I totally agree.

-So, we turn it in, right?

-Wrong.

We find out what that baby can do.

(TYLER YELLS / GRUNTS)

All right, let's go. Get up. Get up.

Dude, did you pull the cover off of it?

Dude, when? I've been with you the whole time.

(WHIRRING) (GASPS)

Whoa.

-You think it's got an mp3 jack?

-Nick, it's from another planet.

Oh, right. Maybe satellite radio. Ha. (LOW WHIRRING)

-Tyler, it wants you to get in.

-What am I, your guinea pig?

-You get in.

-Dude, it doesn't want me! I-It's advanced, right?

-It's from an advanced civilisation. You've got an advanced brain.

-Wow. You think that's it?

-No, I... Just get in, all right?

-Why am I doing this?

-Go.

This is... This is crazy. This is insane.

(LOW WHIRRING)

-This is incredible.

-(WHIRRING)

-Nick?

-Ty! Tyler!

-Nick! Nick!

-Tyler!

(LOW WHIRRING) Tyler. Put him down!

-Tyler!

-Get me outta here now!

-Tyler?

-Put him down!

-Nick, get me outta here! Nick! Help!

-No, no, no!

-(YELLS)

-(WHOOSHING)

Ah!

(YELLS)

(YELLS)

Stop!

(EXHALES)

(CHUCKLES)

Unreal.

Thank you. Digging the view.

Now, please, please, please get me down

before I wet my pirate pants.

-Oh, man.

-Are you OK? Are you OK?

-(CHUCKLES)

-I thought I would never see you again! I thought you were gone!

-(GASPS)

-Man, I thought I'd never see you... I thought you were gone! (BOTH TALK AT ONCE)

-(INHALES)

(PANTS) This thing is amazing.

There's no limit to what it can do.

-So, I guess we're keeping it?

-We are so keeping it. (LAUGHS)

# Get your hands up Hands up, shake it up yeah

# We're gonna party now Get it, get it grooving, yeah

# We're gonna holla, now In the club now

# Shake it up, mama Let me see you move it, now

# Get your, hands up Hands up, shake it, yeah

# We're gonna party now Get it, get it grooving, yeah... #

-What's up, bro?

-We have a big problem.

-I heard you got an A-minus in calculus.

-You are ruined. What are you gonna do?

-There are four cop cars here about the you-know-what.

-I'm going home sick, how about you?

-Relax. They don't know squat.

They know some kids saw it land.

And it's not just the cops asking questions, it's the NSSC.

They make people disappear.

-Haven't I seen you on TV?

-Oh, you remember.

WZPZ. Tori Lee, Investigative reporter.

Tyler Burns. High school. Man.

-High school man is gonna be late for nuclear physics, so let's go.

-What's this about the NSSC?

-They're trying to spin some cover-up claiming someone put rockets on his unicycle.

-You know what?

That's exactly what it was! (SCOFFS)

-(HORN HONKING)

-(GIRL) Hey, look out!

-Uh-oh. It's Julie.

I got... OK. Oh, boy.

Julie! Hey. What's up?

-Wow. You look stunning.

-You stand me up and that's all you got?

-What? No. Where were you last night? I waited for hours. I was -

-Oh, stand me up AND lie to me?

-You really know how to work a girl. I'm sorry.

-Can you just tell me what to say?

-Kiss my -

-Butler! Darryl Butler, incoming.

You had your chance, Nick. You blew it.

-You need me to translate that for you?

-No, I think we got it.

-Can it, runt.

-Next time, I'll duct tape you to a cactus.

-Butt out, Butler. Julie dumped you.

Temporarily, but it's looking like she's ready to come back.

Don't count on it. And the next time you mess with my brother, you'll have to come through me first.

I'll take you both on right now.

I gotta warn you, yellow belt.

Tyler? Tyler.

You know, if you know anything about the UFO, talk to me.

Let me give you my private number to put in your cell.

Really? You're giving me your phone number?

Nick? Do you have my phone? Nick?

If the NSSC finds my phone, we're toast. I took pictures.

-I can't believe that you dropped it.

-I didn't drop it! You dropped it!

-If you had driven the truck, we wouldn't be in this mess!

-What? Excuse me?

Wasn't it me who said, "Steal a UFO, to prison you go?"

-Oh, so now you're sorry we kept it?

-Oh, no, no.

I'm just sorry we're about to be grilled by an NSSC robot

-who wears sunglasses to hide the fact that he has no soul.

-(You are so paranoid!)

We're about to be greeted by Mom, with a hug and a plate of warm cookies.

Who wants a cookie?

-Hey, Mom.

-Hm.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Hi, Mom.

-Boys, um, this is Agent Armstrong of the NSSC.

-Any idea what he's doing in our kitchen?

-Nope.

-No.

-Not me. Not a clue. Zippo. Nada.

-You were at play rehearsal last night.

An unusual aircraft landed near the highway right when you would have been coming home.

-Play rehearsal ended before 6:00. You didn't get home until after 8:00.

-Ha!

-Football team taped me to a tree.

-They did.

It doesn't take that long to get out of that. Tyler?

OK. (SIGHS) We're busted.

We were late because..

..I had a date with Julie Gunn.

-Julie smokin' Gunn?

-Correct.

-Who is this smokin' gun?

-Cute little minx he's been chasing since kindergarten.

-(BOTH LAUGH)

-Will the little minx confirm this story?

No, we didn't actually connect because Tyler wimped out on driving the truck home.

You see? I told you there was a simple explanation.

Now, if we are finished here, I'd like to deal with these jokers myself.

I chased two boys in a red pick-up truck from a UFO landing site.

You'd better ease up on the tabloids there, buddy. Nobody believes in UFOs.

Some day, boys, it's just gonna be you and me.

And a few minutes after that...

..it's just gonna be me.

The government wants to dissect us, Mom wants to disown us, the media want the entire story.

-My life's complete.

-(DIALLING)

-Who are you calling?

Yeah, hey, Julie. It's Nick.

Could you please call me back? Please? Thanks.

After the way she blew you off? Where's your self-respect?

-Where's your dignity?

-Forget that. Her window's closing.

-Her what?

-Her ex-window.

When a hottie like Julie breaks up with somebody,

-you have a 48-hour window to catch her before she gets back with her ex.

-She already slammed that window.

-On your head.

-No way. She digs me.

Plus, we got a secret weapon.

No, we do...

Oh, no. Nope. No. We can't. It's... In the daytime?

-You said it knows words like "stop" and "go home"?

-Right.

-What if it knows, "Find this smokin' hot babe

"before her window closes"? (ROCK MUSIC)

(BOTH CHEER / LAUGH)

(BEEPING)

(BOTH CHEER / LAUGH)

-That's Julie's car!

-See, it did know smokin' babe!

-Sweet.

Down, boy!

You know what to do. Just go. Go!

(POP MUSIC PLAYING) (CHATTER)

(Tyler!)

-Ahhh.

-Tyler!

(ENGINE SPLUTTERING)

(ENGINE SPLUTTERING)

(SIGHS)

Did you do it? All right. How do I look? Good? Breath? (BLOWS)

-Hey, beautiful. Do you need a hand?

-Not from you.

Hey, Daddy. My car broke down. Call me back.

Can't I just take a look? Just one look.

OK. You know, I left you a message. Three messages, actually.

-Six messages.

-Six?

-And I deleted them all.

-Without listening.

-Really? Well, that's too bad,

because one was a very deep, heartfelt apology

-and the other two were very, uh, sweet and romantic and gooey.

-Yeah?

-Hm-hm.

What were the other three? (GIGGLES)

You really wanna know?

-I'm gonna... I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna... (GRUNTS)

-(YELPS)

-Thanks, I guess.

-If you really wanted to thank me,

um, let's bounce before Darryl drop-kicks me over the diner.

(GRUNTING) (CROCKERY SMASHING)

(YELLS)

-All right. Come on.

-Awesome. Beautiful.

-(GIGGLES)

Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

(TYRES SCREECHING)

This isn't over! You hear me? This isn't over!

Agh!

-(WHOOSHING)

-What the...?

(YELLS)

(YELLS)

Bro. Thanks, man.

I owe you, big time. Julie was...

-..smokin'.

-Good.

Cos I think Darryl Butler...

..might have kind of sort of possibly seen the UFO.

Who cares? Me and Julie are going out for pizza this Friday.

-With this baby right here, I could take her to Italy.

-Forget Italy. Take her to the moon.

-First thing tomorrow, we gotta find a better place to hide it.

-A better place to hide what?

Mom! Mom!

Right here, honey. Along with the media.

-Now, boys, we all want some answers.

-What's in the garage, boys?

Uh, our bikes, lawnmower, Tyler's old tap shoes.

-Nick.

-Don't be ashamed. You were very talented.

You were.

Nick, it's over.

We gotta tell them the truth.

We saw the UFO crash.

We... loaded it in the truck and brought it home.

-It's right inside.

-So, what are we waiting for? Open it up.

-You think this is a joke?

-I think you're a joke.

-You're under arrest.

-Oh, good move(!) Arrest us all.

Let's go tell a judge how you strong-armed a mom and her kids

-cos they wouldn't show you their flying saucer.

-I'll be seeing you all again.

But you will not see me coming.

So, what's for dinner?

Hm? Bread and water.

Come on, Mom. Technically speaking, we didn't do anything wrong, right?

-Hm-hm.

-Somewhere in my parenting process,

did I skip the chapter that says never antagonise a government agent?

-Oh, so now you tell us.

-Boys, in the house. Now.

Be right there, Mom. I left something in the garage.

-I don't get it. Where'd it go? Huh?

-I don't know.

OK, maybe...

Agh!

-What are you doing?

-Whoo! It's right here.

-What?

-It's right here.

-It's...

Go.

(LOW THUD) Unreal. It's invisible.

-Oh! It's not invisible, it's... It's cloaking itself like a chameleon.

-This thing is not a machine, man.

This thing... This thing is alive. It thinks.

And it knows who its friends are.

-(QUIET WHOOSHING)

-Cool!

(BIRDS TWEETING)

(LOUD HEARTBEAT)

(LOUD, FAST HEARTBEAT) (CREAKING / CRUNCHING)

"Our switchboards went crazy last night

with callers who reported seeing a UFO."

-"Either an alien invasion has begun or you guys were all sharing the same punch bowl."

-Did you hear that?

It was us flying in the UFO.

-Maybe it was some other UFO.

-There is no other UF... Ow!

How do you know? If there was one, there could have been two. Or ten or 20.

Like the guy said, alien invasion.

-Nick?

-What's with your voice?

-Forget my voice, look at my...

-Cut that out.

-Cut what out?

-Talking all gravelly like that. You catch a cold?

-I have a beard, Nick.

-So?

-I didn't have one yesterday.

-Not even peach fuzz.

-Let me see that thing.

There is! It's the wolf man! (CHUCKLES)

Welcome to puberty, little brother.

If Dad was here, he'd have the "becoming a man" talk with you, but he's not, so you're stuck with me.

Lesson number one, don't even think about using my shaver, dude. That is nasty.

-Nick, what did you do to my jeans?

-Nothing.

-Did you seal up my pant legs with a glue gun again?

-I didn't touch them.

And it was a stapler, thank you very much.

-Then, will you help, please?

-Help you? (SIGHS)

-What's next? I gotta tie your shoes?

-Just help.

-All right. (GRUNTS)

-No, no, just... No. Wait, wait. wait, wait, stop!

-On three. One, two, three.

-You go down, I'll pull up.

(GRUNTS)

-You're not helping at all.

-OK.

-(SIGHS)

Wait, wait. Hold on. Stand up straight.

-Whoa.

-What?

-Dude, you're almost as tall as me.

You grew, like, overnight. You are different.

Yeah, well, this is not normal, Nick. This is definitely not normal.

Well, chill out, dude. OK? You're probably overreacting.

-(KNOCK AT DOOR)

-If you are late for school, I'm renting out your rooms. Let's go.

-If Mom sees me, she'll know something weird's going on.

-If you spill the beans.

-She'll worm it out of me. I'm not good at the partial truth thing. You are!

-You have three seconds.

-One...

-Take my jeans!

-..two...

-What?

-Just take my jeans!

..three.

Morning.

-Where's Tyler?

-Oh, you know, yeah, he, uh... He left for school early.

Something about his pirate play. Arrr! (CHUCKLES)

I don't know. I could have sworn I heard him in here.

Nope. He's not.

Hi, Tyler!

-(Hi, Katie.)

-OK, something is going on with you two.

-Who two?

-You and Tyler.

You may have fooled Agent Armstrong last night

-but I have spent years mastering the art of teenage deception. Give it up.

-Mom... that hurts.

Oh, please. I'm watching you.

-OK?

-OK.

-Your every move.

I saw that.

Why are you whispering? Actually, scratch that.

Why are you standing on the roof in your, uh, boxers?

These? Oh, these aren't boxers. They're um...

-..shoxers.

-Shoxers?

-Yeah. Shorts that look like boxers.

-Very trendy. Everyone's gonna be wearing them.

-I bet your brother told you that. See ya.

Shoxers? Could you possibly be any more lame?

All right, you're good. She's gone.

(GIRL) I hate PE.

You look different. What happened to your sweats?

I, uh, think they shrunk in the wash.

-Ooh, maybe they'll cut off your circulation.

-(GRUNTS)

(LAUGHS)

It's called dodgeball, Burns. You're supposed to dodge the ball.

-(GRUNTS)

-(LAUGHTER)

-Ow!

I'm OK. I'm OK. (GRUNTS)

-(LAUGHTER)

-(DARRYL) Good shot.

(LOUD HEARTBEAT)

Take a walk, Darryl, and, uh, take your clown posse with you.

(LAUGHS)

-(OTHERS LAUGH)

-He is such a goner.

You think you can take me? I don't know who's more clueless, you or your older brother!

T-Rex, let's teach this kid some manners.

-(MURMURING)

-(BOY) Whoa.

-(GRUNTING)

-OK. Boys.

Make it rain.

# This is not a game

# I don't do it for the money or the fame

# This is not a game

# Win, lose or draw, it will never be the same

# This is not a game

# I don't do it for the money or the fame

# This is not a game

# Win, lose or draw, it will never be the same

(RAPPING)

# This is not a game

# I don't do it for the money or the fame

# This is not a game

# Win, lose or draw, it will never be the same

# This is not a game

What you got?

# This is not a game

# Win, lose or draw, it will never be the same

# This is not a game

# I don't do it for the money or the fame

# This is not a game (GRUNTING)

(ALL CHEER)

You're out of ammo. Time for me to test out my fast ball.

-Ooh!

-(PEOPLE GASPING)

-(SIGHS) Principal Duddy, I...

-(STIFLED LAUGHTER)

That is detention, Mr Butler.

-We'll finish this later.

-Can't wait.

What?!

OK, everybody up. Stop the gawking, all right?

-Uh, how did you do that?

-Well, I, um...

..have no idea.

(ALL GROAN)

So, tomorrow night, I'm thinking we can grab some pizza, maybe go for a quiet drive alone?

-Purely for conversation, of course.

-Actually, um, I can't tomorrow.

I completely forgot about Darryl's graduation party.

-That's cool. I'll just come with you.

-I'm Darryl's date. I don't think you're invited.

-That is a minor technicality because I can handle a little healthy competition.

-Mr Burns?

-Do I have time to make a getaway?

-I don't think so.

-Excuse us, Ms Gunn.

-Call me when you change your mind.

-She won't. I'm surprised you're making extra-curricular plans.

Principal Duddy, we have known each other, what, four years?

-You can call me Nick. Can I call you Herman?

-No, you may not.

Mr Hiddlebaum informs me you've yet to turn in your senior science project?

He's a stone-cold liar. I turned in my project.

Seeing how much orange soda your little brother can drink before he vomits is not science.

It wasn't just orange soda. I also did grape and cherry. (BOTH LAUGH)

-You should have seen the colours flying out of this kid.

-Really? In that case, then, we're cool.

-Really?

-No! If you don't deliver a real science project by graduation,

which is in two days, you won't be marching with your class. No cap and gown, no diploma.

In other words, you won't graduate.

-You will have your project. OK?

-Good.

Because if you're here another year, I'll make your life a non-stop nightmare.

-OK?

-OK.

Do you want a nightmare? Smell that guy's breath.

'Oh, this chilli is giving me major gas.'

'Janine thinks I'm cool. Oh, yeah! She digs me.'

'My grad night dress is so sweet. I'm gonna look cuter than all of you.'

Did you just say you're gonna look good in a dress?

Dude, I have enough social challenges as it is.

Wearing a dress would not upgrade my status.

-You can't hear the voices?

-I think you're low on blood sugar.

-Have some pudding.

-No, I'm OK. I'll catch up with you later.

-See ya.

'I can't believe no-one noticed my new haircut.'

Love the new haircut, Claire.

'Do these jeans make me look fat?'

Uh, have you been working out, Heather?

'I'm gonna mess you up so bad.'

-If you do, I won't tell you how to get a date for grad night.

-Huh?

-You do need a date, don't you? It's been bothering you.

-I didn't tell anybody that.

Claire's got a new haircut and Heather's wearing new jeans. Compliment them,

-and one of them is sure to go out with you.

-If you're lying...

-Do it.

'I bet Tyler's a really good kisser.'

(ALL LAUGH)

-Hey, did you get taller?

-Me? Taller?

No, I've just been, uh, stretching, a lot.

It's OK. I like tall guys.

Tall, dark-haired guys.

Tall, dark-haired smart guys.

-I'm sorry, Katie, I can't.

-Can't what?

-Go to the movies with you this weekend.

-My life's a little crazy.

-I didn't ask you out this weekend.

-You didn't?

-Well, I was about to, but you didn't really give me the chance.

-What, are you psychic or something?

-Psychic?

-No, no, um...

-(BELL RINGS)

-Gotta go to class. Yeah.

Oh. See you tonight. Dress rehearsal.

-(DRUM ECHOES)

-Today was insane, Nick!

-I'm telling you, the UFO did something to me.

-OK, so you're taller and hairier. Alert the media!

Today in gym, you should have seen me. I was actually good at dodgeball.

-You? That is newsworthy.

-I was better than good.

I was great. I totally skewed Darryl Butler.

-Seriously?

-Seriously. I used to stink at anything remotely athletic.

See? It's like time slows down and I can move super-fast.

OK, so, you're taller and you're hairier and you're more athletic.

-We'll get you a cape and you'll be a superhero.

-You're not listening.

I've changed. I can do things.

Let me guess, you can smell farts from ten feet away?

-I can read minds.

-I'm worried about you, little brother.

-No, you're not.

-You think I'm the poster boy for puberty.

-Well, you are.

You're also trying to scam your way through a science project so you can graduate.

-Who told you I wasn't graduating?

-Nobody. That's the point!

-You also want to move the UFO before anyone catches us with it.

-Now you're scaring me.

-Good!

It's scaring me, too. You're my brother.

If you don't take me seriously, who will?

OK, what I am taking seriously is where to hide our spaceship before Mom finds it and busts us.

-I think I just came up with the perfect place. Do you wanna see it?

-I guess I'd better.

-Good, cos you're driving.

-Hey, I may look 16 but I still haven't got a licence.

Didn't say you were driving my truck.

(CHUCKLES)

(WIND HOWLING)

-(WHOOSH)

-How did you ever find this place?

-Pretty good, right?

See, two Halloweens ago, my pal Marty dared me to sneak in here at midnight.

-And naturally, you said yes.

-Naturally. And now it's paying off.

-I gotta find a place to stash our stuff. Watch out for the rats.

-Rats?

-Yeah.

-What rats?

(SIGHS) If you see any rats, warn me.

Nick?

Nick?

Nick!

Nick!

-Now what?

-You won't believe what I saw. This movie played on the windshield

-about all this stuff happening to the planet. Fires, flood, pollution.

-Give me a replay.

-Or maybe Hiddlebaum's ecology class is giving you nightmares.

-I'm not making it up.

-Right.

So, now we have psychic visions and movies on demand?

-In your head?

-I know what I saw. There's something big going on. Maybe that's why the UFO came to us.

OK, look, I love you, Ty, but I think this sudden onset puberty thing is seriously affecting your brain.

-Why don't you believe anything?

-Why do you believe everything?

Because, Nick, it's happening to me. If you won't listen, maybe I should just talk to Agent Armstrong.

Why, so he can take away our awesome ship and send us to juvey?

Tyler, this UFO is the coolest thing that has ever happened to anybody, anywhere.

-Now, why would you wanna blow that?

-Fine.

(WIND HOWLING)

All right, as far as Mom goes, less is more. Need-to-know basis. Don't ask, don't tell.

-She's gonna take one look at me and scream.

-Don't let her see you. (DOOR OPENING) Hi, Mom.

-Where's Tyler?

-Who?

Short kid, lives here? You know?

-Your brother?

-Oh, Tyler. I... I haven't seen him.

You're hiding something. (CHUCKLES) Hey, what do you take me for?

An amateur? OK, look, we are not leaving this yard

until you tell me exactly what is going on.

-Nick?

-OK, Mom, you know what? You're right.

-Something very important has happened.

-(SIGHS) I'm all ears.

(PANTS)

It's no big deal. You're making too much out of this.

When you are a parent, many, many, many years from now,

then you can decide what to make a big deal out of and way too much of.

-(BANG)

-Ow.

-(GASPS)

-I have to hear from your brother...

(SQUEALS) ..that you have hit puberty! Oh!

-It's gotta be the most disturbing word of the English language.

-My little man.

-Growing up. (GIGGLES)

-Roll with it, bro.

You're lucky because I had the video camera, a deli platter and Aunt Sofia.

You really are growing up. I mean, overnight, it's almost... freakish.

-Yeah, well, uh, nature's course.

-(SQUEALS) Listen to his voice!

Oh, honey, try not to borrow your brother's shaver, OK? It's kinda nasty. I gotta call Aunt Sofia.

-It really is, huh? It's freakish.

-Crazy.

-I can't believe she bought that.

-Oh, I was looking for this.

(GRUNTS) What do you think? Huh? Too much?

-Remember all the stupid costumes we used to put on for Mom and Dad?

-We used to do everything together.

-Do you remember this day?

-Oh, sure I do.

Look at Dad. He was the man.

-He would have listened to me about the aliens.

-This is getting old.

-He would have.

-Dad's not here!

Look, I am listening to you, Tyler. And you're changing. I get it.

-Thank you.

-I just don't know why you have to go all conspiracy theory about it.

-It's because, I've -

-Because girls suddenly dig you? Cos Darryl can't pick on you any more?

-No.

-Cos we have the sweetest ride in the whole universe?

-That's great, but -

Tyler... just lighten up.

-All right?

-OK.

-OK.

-I'm sorry.

Right. Now, help me solve a real problem. Julie is going to Darryl's party and cancelling our date.

Aren't you supposed to be doing your science...

project?

(CRICKETS CHIRR / OWL HOOTS)

(SOFT, EERIE SNARLING)

(GROWLING)

I think this belongs to you.

We found it in the field...

-..where the UFO was spotted.

-Oh!

-Great. Thanks.

-We need to talk.

I'm sort of late for class.

You know, when I was your age, I used to stare up at the stars,

wondering what was out there.

It's the reason I do what I do.

I'm still looking. Still... wondering.

-You ever feel that way?

-All the time.

-Your brother isn't so believing.

-He's really busy right now.

-Big science project.

-I think you and I got off on the wrong foot.

-I think we can help each other.

-I got to go.

You can start by being honest about the night you found the UFO.

And I can start by explaining the...

strange things that have been happening to you.

Things your brother doesn't understand.

I programmed my number into your cell. When you're ready to talk,

call me. You don't have to deal with this alone, Tyler.

The Earth's environment has been deteriorated at an alarming rate.

Humans are certainly the cause of pollution

and global warming, but extreme weather of recent years

seems to be coming from some unknown, mysterious source.

-Mr Burns? Tyler!

-Yeah. Yes. Um... Sorry.

What do you think causes these catastrophic changes?

Er...

I... dunno.

That's correct! Nobody knows. But, if current trends continue,

within a generation, Earth could become completely uninhabitable

to humans.

(WHOOSHING)

-(GIRL)

-What's he doing?

(ALL LAUGH)

Some sort of problem, Mr Burns?

Um, no. There was just this annoying glare,

and I didn't wanna miss any of this fascinating lesson.

-Totally under control.

-All right, class.

Let's continue.

(GASPS)

I got to go. Hall pass. My mom's meatloaf.

Funny! Your brother used the same excuse in last period's class.

What are you doing here? Are you trying to get me expelled?

Look, I am not having a good day, OK?

Last week I was a straight-A student with a normal life, and now...

-I'm standing here talking to a UFO.

-(CHIMES HARMONICALLY)

I like order. Routine! I roll the toothpaste tube up from the bottom!

-My life was perfectly organised until you showed up.

-(HOOTS SOFTLY)

I can't go for a ride. I'm serious. Be a good little UFO and go away!

(SIGHS) Fine! OK!

It's not like things could get any worse.

-So, what's the big panic?

-You need to check this out.

-What?

-(WHALE-LIKE HOOTING)

-Sounds like it ate Mom's meatloaf surprise.

Yeah. It came to school and practically abducted me.

-Yeah, right(!)

-It did. I think it's got some kind of message for us.

What is it? What are you trying to tell us?

Dude...

-When you're right, you are right.

-(BOTH LAUGH)

-Sweet!

-Score!

-Whoa!

-Some sort of user guide or manual.

Pictures and diagrams of all the stuff.

I wouldn't try to use any of it until we check...

-That was awesome.

-Yeah. Before we try out anything else,

really think we should check the instructions.

-Real men don't read instructions.

-Oh, right! Then you'll be a real man

who burns a real hole through your real head.

-Oh, look! Alien laxative?

-If you bother to learn what it's for...

Oh, what do we have here?

(BEEPING)

Oh! Sick!

I think it's time to trim your nose-hairs, there, buddy.

-Those aren't just binoculars.

-You can say that again!

You can look at planets with those. They're for navigating in space!

But there's something else I wanna check out first.

Oh! Nice!

Oh, these could come in very handy.

-Oh, man!

-What's up?

-Julie's at Darryl's party.

-You're not going to any party!

-Wanna bet?

-What about my pirate play?

-Oh, it's tonight?

-One night only.

Bro, I got a real problem. Tonight is the senior grad party.

-Darryl didn't invite you.

-Technically, no.

Right. Because, technically, he hates you.

-I know I promised to come to your play.

-That's right.

-But I'm only graduating once.

-Maybe not even that.

Point is, this is my one-and-only senior grad party.

-It's not a big deal. Don't sweat it.

-Oh! You're the best!

# Yeah, yeah, like a rolling stone

# Yeah, yeah, today you're on your own

# Yeah, yeah, you're on the go till you run out of dough

# Then you'll be back here, you'll be back

# Knocking at my door

# Yeah, yeah, I love the city at night

# Yeah, yeah, I got my own private flight...

Whoa!

# The streets you walk on, this air is all mine

# Listen to your mother, she'll tell you to go

# Listen to your mom, cos you just don't know

# Listen to your mother, she'll tell you to go

# Listen to your mom, cos you just don't know

# Listen to your mother, she'll tell you to go

# Listen to your mom, cos you just don't know

# Listen to your mother, she'll tell you to go

# Listen to your mom, cos you just don't know. #

(THUNDER SOUND EFFECTS)

Looks like we're sold out!

-(THUNDER)

-(LAUGHS)

Ahoy, there, bucko. You are so late.

-Where have you been?

-Practising my lines.

-You missed dress rehearsal.

-I tried to come, but my mom -

-Never mind. You can tell me later.

-My sword! I'll be right back.

Pirates! Don't forget your eye patches and fake blood.

-(MOBILE BEEPS)

-(GASPS)

Everyone ready for storm at sea. Curtain in one minute!

(SNARLS)

(GROWLS)

Tyler? Tyler!

Where are you? You're due on stage, like, now!

Argh!

(GRUNTS FIERCELY)

(LAUGHTER / BUZZ OF CONVERSATION)

So... where were we? Oh, yes. You were going to thank me

-for showing up to save you from this boring party.

-No.

I was asking what you're doing here. If Darryl sees you, he'll lose it.

So you feel that me coming to see you,

even at the risk of getting my butt kicked, is pretty romantic?

-I'm here with Darryl, Nick.

-I get it!

All right. Popular girl dates popular guy. Makes sense.

-But don't you ever wanna try something less predictable?

-What?

-Dating a goofball like you?

-Exactly.

-(LAUGHS)

Maybe.

But I need to know if you could ever be serious.

-Or if everything's just one big joke to you.

-I could be serious...

..about you.

Now, that... was predictable.

-Yeah.

-But also kind of cute.

(LAUGHS)

(SNARLING)

(GRUNTS / CHUCKLES EERILY)

(ROARS)

-(LAUGHS)

-I think you, er...

-have a little fruit punch there.

-Is this where you say,

-"Let me get that," and try to kiss me?

-Come on!

You don't think I'd resort to a cheeseball trick like that, do you?

-Nick?

-(CHUCKLES)

Nick?

Nick! Are you OK?

I was! What are you doing here?

When you didn't answer your phone, I thought you were in trouble.

-Relax! Why are you flipping out?

-Why am I flipping out?

Let's see. Maybe because a real-life space monster just tried to dest-...

He's a gamer. He likes to role-play. Aliens, dragons... Elves...

Did you see how beautiful Julie looks tonight?

-I am not going anywhere. Catch up with you later.

-Later?

-I almost didn't

-have

-a later.

I'll let you guys talk.

I thought we were supposed to watch out for each other.

-Am I interrupting a family moment?

-Not now!

-Insane stuff is going on,

-and all you care about is yourself.

-Ty...

-Fine. I'll do it without you.

-Have fun at your party.

-Tyler...

-No.

Your brother gets me detention, and you hook up with my girlfriend.

-I am loving your family right now!

-I'm not in the mood right now.

All right?

I don't know what's going on with you and your freak brother...

Tyler's not a freak. But you, on the other hand...

Yeah.

This whole Julie thing... It's made me a little crazy.

I started seeing things. I even thought I saw a UFO.

Yeah. I heard you screamed like a little girl,

-and then you fell on your butt.

-(LAUGHS)

(ALL LAUGH OBEDIENTLY)

Oof!

I want you gone - as in now - or else.

-Hey! What happened? Are you OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Let's get out of here - somewhere we can be alone.

I want to.

But I can't. I'm sorry. (GRUNTS)

I'll see you tomorrow, won't I? At graduation?

(MUSICAL, WHISPERY CHIMING)

I'm glad you decided to call.

I didn't exactly have anyone else to turn to.

Your life's about to get a whole lot simpler.

Here's what you've been looking for.

You promised you'd explain why this has been happening to me.

You've been experiencing telepathic insights, correct?

Man, have I ever! You don't wanna play cards with me.

-And bursts of great strength.

-Oh, yeah! I'm a regular superhero.

Except I can't fit into any of my own clothes.

So what's really going on?

When a human teenager is experiencing cellular transition...

-You mean puberty?

-Exactly.

When you're exposed to heavy-particle radiation in space,

all the maturing processes are hyper-accelerated.

-Which is why I grew four inches overnight.

-Correct.

But rapid growth is the least of it. You've gained extraordinary powers.

Why doesn't anyone know about this?

Because NASA has never sent a teenager into space.

Sounds like they should. You don't know how right you are.

There's a name for special humans like you.

They're called Skyrunners.

Wow! Skyrunners...

So... when I went up in space, that's what happened to me?

Yes. Your abilities, if properly understood,

could make humans the most powerful species in the universe.

You could become very dangerous to extraterrestrials.

So you believe me, about the alien coming after me?

Oh, absolutely. Aliens are very real.

And a lot closer than you think.

Wait. Don't!

-Don't! What did you do that for?

-"(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)"

You humans are such an interesting species.

So intelligent in so many ways,

and so ignorant in others.

You said "you humans". You mean... you're not...

I'm the reason your planet's dying.

(BONES CRACKLE / SKIN SQUELCHES)

(SNARLS)

(GROWLS)

(ROARS)

Tyler?

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Dude, I am so sorry.

I have been such a major jerk to you lately.

Ty?

What the...?!

Tyler!

OK, where's my brother? Tyler thinks you have a brain or something,

so tell me where he is!

-Tell me!

-(RESONATES / WHIRRS)

I'm sorry. I'm just...

He's my brother. If anything happens to him...

I'm freaking out here. I'm freaking out here.

OK...

OK.

OK.

OK...

So you took... You took a major hit here.

-(MOANING BOOM)

-And it's up to me to get you running again.

OK.

Instructions. OK.

Please,

you can never tell Tyler I did this, all right? OK.

OK. I need instructions.

Please... be there.

Yes!

Yes! OK, OK. I see this. I can work with this.

All right!

I know, baby. You need some major help.

All right. But that's OK. You know why? I have the ultimate secret weapon

of every great mechanic.

Duct tape!

-Trust me. This can fix anything.

-(SOFT HARMONIC MOAN)

All right. Just hold tight, all right?

(RATTLES)

Agh! (SPLUTTERS) You know what?

That's OK. Minor setback. Minor setback.

(GRUNTS) How's that? Is that better?

-(WHIRRS MUSICALLY)

-Almost done.

Hang tight. One more. So...

-..how do you feel?

-(WHIRRS / CHIRRUPS)

OK.

OK!

Fly! (RISING WHINE OF POWER)

(POWER HISSES AND DIES)

Dude! Dude, you have to fly.

Look... you are the only one who knows where he is.

If anything happens to him, I'd...

I don't know what I'd do.

(POWER WHIRRS)

Aaagh!

Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

Hello?

Hello! Anybody there?

(ROARS)

Oh, dude, I dig speed, but this is extreme!

Oh, I think I'm gonna hurl... Argh! Whoo!

What do you want from me?

Why'd you bring me here?

Bread and water? Gee, thanks.

How considerate of you!

Ugh! Gross!

I'd rather starve. You hear me? I'd rather starve!

Oh, dude, please don't tell me we're going into th-... Aaaagh!

I got to get out of here. Got to get out of here...

You got to let me out of here! I'm seriously claustrophobic!

Fingernails...

I guess I'm not your first guest.

What the...?!

-Looks like some kind of a ship crashed here.

-(CHIMES SOFTLY)

This whole place is one big impact crater.

Tyler...

Tyler! Tyler, where are you, bro?

Oh. Right.

Of course.

(DEVICE WHIRRS)

Oh, what are they doing to you, bro?

-(SNARLS)

-Whoa!

Oh, no... Tyler!

(CRACKLING)

Oh, skanky!

(GRUNTS)

Agh!

(LAUGHS)

(DEVICE HISSES) Who needs instructions?!

He said we're the most powerful species in the universe.

He said... we're dangerous to extraterrestrials.

He said I have extraordinary abilities.

I...am a Skyrunner.

(GRUNTS)

(SNARLS / GRUNTS)

(ROARS)

(SQUELCHING)

(YELLS)

Aargh!

-(ROARS)

-Argh!

God! Argh!

All right!

-These are my favourite jeans!

-(GRUNTS)

-Look out!

-Are you OK? Are you OK?!

-Yeah!

-What about your head?

-Oh, that?

-Yeah.

Being a drama geek does have its benefits. Blood pack.

Don't scare me like that!

-Oh, man, I'm so sorry I let you down.

-It's OK.

No, it's not OK! I thought you might really be gone, bro.

Hey. You found me.

You always have.

You always do.

-(SOBS / LAUGHS)

-How

-did

-you find me, by the way?

-Oh, the UFO helped.

-It's alive?

-I thought Armstrong took it out.

-I fixed it.

-You fixed a spaceship?

-Yeah.

-That's awesome!

-(LAUGHS)

-So, where are we, anyway?

-In some alien crater,

way underground. I'm never gonna doubt anything you tell me again.

-Really?

-Yeah. Totally.

-OK. Try this.

The aliens are wrecking the environment

-so they can eliminate the human race.

-Really?

-Yeah. Then they can make the planet their own.

-Dude, I believe you!

Awesome! Just because I said so?

No. Because they have these magma chambers out there.

-They're pumping gas through it.

-Straight into the atmosphere.

-Yeah.

-We gotta stop 'em.

-I'll settle for getting out of here

in one piece. Come on. Let's go.

-Nick!

-Yeah?

-Thanks.

All the way through. Keep going.

-Guess what? Armstrong's an alien. He brought me here.

-Get out!

-Uh-uh...

-OK. Right. I believe you.

-I wasn't sure.

-What happened with the binoculars?

-I had a little incident with them.

-What about that weapon?

I had a slight mishap with the weapon, too.

I told you to check the instructions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check this.

-(HISSING)

-Whoa!

-It's huge!

-No kidding.

-Oh, man! It smells so nasty.

-Forget nasty. It's toxic.

-It's probably lethal.

-(COUGHS)

-Ssh!

-What are we gonna do?

-"Run" comes to mind.

-You said we had to stop them.

-You see how many there are?

-(COUGHS)

-Ssh!

(ROARS)

(SNARLS)

-Oh, come on. Let's bail.

-No, wait.

-What?

-You still have that? Gimme that!

-What? What are you doing?

I know what it's for because I read the instructions.

-Do you wanna give me a hint?

-Easier to show you.

(BOTH YELL)

Nick, get up. Come on! The whole cave's coming down.

Come on! Go!

-You fixed it with duct tape?

-She ain't pretty,

-but she gets the job done.

-We're gonna get buried alive!

-Come on, baby!

-Aargh!

Look out! No! Oh, no!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo!

Uh-oh!

Don't look back.

(ALIEN PILOT SNARLS)

-Go! Step on it!

-Step on what? This thing doesn't have a gas pedal!

-(ALL CHATTER)

-Uh-oh!

Look who's not graduating!

Looks like Nick Burns finally got burned. (LAUGHS)

Excuse me. Sorry.

Oh! (GASPS)

(LAUGHS)

-We're not gonna make it!

-We made it this far. Come on!

We will now present diplomas to the graduating class

in alphabetical order. First row.

(STIRRING MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS)

-Teresa Maria Aguilar.

-(CHEERING / APPLAUSE)

Congratulations.

Ronald Aster! Ronald... Congratulations.

-We can't take another hit. We got to fight back.

-Do it!

-There's only one problem.

-What?

-I dunno how!

Aaargh!

(BOTH YELL)

Whoo!

-That's more like it.

-I didn't do anything.

The ship did it.

(ROARS)

-Whoo! Yippee-ki-yay!

-(BOTH LAUGH)

Frat club went down! Whoo!

-(METALLIC THUDDING)

-Er, Nick?

We're going down, too.

Theodore Wrexford Anderson!

-Whoo!

-Yeah, T-Rex!

-(CHEERING / APPLAUSE)

-Darryl Butler!

Oh! Er... You forgot my son!

-(LAUGHS)

-Darryl Butler!

No! You forgot Nick Burns.

I did not forget him, Mrs Burns.

There's a little matter of a senior science project!

Ohhh...!

Hold on, Tyler! Hold on, all right?

What's that?!

Land!

Hold on, Tyler! Hold on!

(BOTH YELL)

Nick?!

Tyler?!

(LAUGHS)

-What sort of a stunt is this?

-This is no stunt, Principal Duddy.

This... is my science project.

(LAUGHS)

Hey, Mr Hiddlebaum! This UFO was totally busted,

-and I fixed it.

-He really did. We also saved the planet,

by the way.

I was hoping you could let me count this as my science project.

Well, er...

I-I-I... I guess you pass!

Yes! Whoo-hoo! Whoo!

Herman... my diploma.

Yeah! (ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD)

-Are you OK?!

-We're so sorry we worried you.

-(GROWLS PLAYFULLY)

-(LAUGHS)

(ALL HOOT AND APPLAUD)

(GASPS) He gets his diploma?!

He gets the girl? I'm losing it. I can't believe this!

Tyler!

Hi, Katie.

You, me, Friday night... movie.

OK!

(CHEERING / APPLAUSE)

(CHEERING / APPLAUSE)

(ROCK MUSIC BLARES)

-(GRUNTS)

-Whoo! Road test... successful.

-Seems a little rocky to me.

-Are you kidding me?

That sound rig is bumpin'! (POUNDING ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)

Forget the stereo! It didn't fly so well.

-And that landing... Not our best.

-It got us here.

And now we got some rockin' tunes.

Hmm? Come on. The beach is this way.

And guess who's waiting there to meet you!

-Katie Wallace.

-What?

-Yeah, dude. I set you up, bro.

I told her you were gonna be here. She totally digs you, man.

-I like her, too, but I'm just -

-Hey, hey! Hey! Don't be shy.

Hey, since you became a Skyrunner, you're not so scrawny any more.

(BOTH SQUABBLE AMICABLY)

Shall we take them now?

No. Not yet.

They think they're safe. They think they eliminated all of us.

Won't they be surprised when they learn how wrong they are?

# Little green men

# With antennas on their head

# Real funky, too cool... #