The Greatest

This programme contains strong language

# Among the trees and by the river

# Lying there, my darling shivers

# In her sleep with dreams of winter

# Wider than her eyes

# I feel her heart move through her chest

# Warm and steady as she rests

# Hear water ebbing with her breath

# Lulling me to sleep

# Ah...

# Ah-ah-ah...

# And here in the sky lights flash before our eyes

# And I feel your warm hand

# Slipping into mine

# And we wait and we wonder... #

-You OK?

-Yeah.

# Do I know what you are feeling?

# This morning we drove out of town to the hills

# Looking down I saw the ocean all around

# As far as we could see... #

-OK, I have a secret to tell you.

-You're in the middle of the road.

-I know. Do you want to hear it?

-Do you wanna move your car first?

No, not really.

I just wanna tell you one more thing.

All right.

-What?

-SHE LAUGHS

That's not gonna be good.

OK, tell me.

I've been in love with you for...

ALARM BEEPS

ALARM STOPS

SHE GROANS SLEEPILY

SHE SOBS

John Muir said, "Let children walk with nature."

"Let them see the beautiful blendings

"and communions of death and life,

"their joyous inseparable unity

"and they will learn that death is stingless indeed,

"and as beautiful as life".

That is my hope for Bennett, that this amazing young man

who was taken from us so suddenly, who is so well-loved,

is surrounded by everything that was beautiful to him.

It is in this spirit that we return Bennett

to that form from which God miraculously created all life.

DISTANT BIRDCALL

ALARM BEEPS

ALARM STOPS

SHE SOBS

-KNOCKING

-Come on, open the door, Ryan.

Hold on.

Come on. Ryan, just let me... Hey. Come on, buddy, let me in.

Jesus Christ, Ryan.

Open up some of these windows, would you?

I don't care what you say, next time you let Gloria up here.

-Sorry.

-It smells like something died and went to heaven.

-I didn't know she was here.

-She's not.

But she's coming back very soon.

-Where have you been?

-I've been here.

-What, in the house?

-Yeah.

Just check in from time to time, would you? Your mother's worried.

-OK.

-DOOR CLOSES

What I want to know, what I need to know

is, erm, what were the 17 minutes like for my son?

I don't know what to tell you, Mrs Brewer, I wasn't there.

You've spoken with every doctor, nurse, paramedic, fireman on call.

I don't know what other information I can give.

-What about Jordan Walker?

-Mr Walker is still in a coma.

I know, but I have a surveillance tape and in that tape it looks as if

they spoke, that they might have had a conversation.

Would he have been capable of having a conversation with my son?

It depends on how slow the bleeding in his brain was.

It's possible he could have stayed conscious

long enough to carry on a conversation.

-Then, he would've been the last person to speak to my son.

-Yes.

I have an appointment now, I'm sorry.

-When do you think he'll wake up?

-As I've said numerous times before,

I've given you all the answers that I know.

-But he could wake up. What would be the signs?

-I'm sorry.

TANNOY: 'Dr Linder, 2291...'

Allen?

Allen?

Hi. How are you? I'm sorry...

Er... A head full of numbers.

-Ooh. You're sweating.

-Yeah...

Yeah.

Yeah, thank you. You're right.

I'll turn up the AC.

Is this, er, is this roster correct?

I don't have Linda down here for the summer.

-How are you?

-All right.

You look like you've forgotten to sleep.

I'm fine. Thanks for the flowers. They weren't necessary.

I wanted to call so many times. I didn't know what to do.

I just wanna be strong for Grace, that's all.

That's what I'm doing.

Of course.

So, we got, er...

we got 30 students here.

-Ready and praying for graduation.

-Well, let's see what I can do.

If you want anything, anything at all, just let me know.

I will.

SIGHS

WATER RUNS

I read about an interesting idea today.

I even made a purchase.

Seems to be a lot of research on the web about grief.

And, er, I stumbled across... a couple of interesting suggestions.

Oh, Allen, don't.

They suggested we...use a bell.

We can ring this... when we're missing Bennett...

..or when we think about him.

You can put it anywhere in the house you like.

Can I see the bell?

RINGS BELL

RINGS BELL LOUDLY

CONTINUES TO RING BELL LOUDLY

SIGHS

BELL CONTINUES TO RING

KETTLE HISSES

KETTLE WHISTLES

DOORBELL RINGS

Hello.

Hello.

-Rose, right?

-Yeah.

Come on in.

Just through here.

-Would you like some tea, soda...?

-No. I'm fine, thank you.

-I'm sorry for just stopping by.

-Not at all. I'm glad you did.

-I've wanted to talk to you since the service.

-Yeah, I know.

I wish I could've given your wife more answers.

-I know how much she wanted them.

-Yes. She's very focused on that.

It's only a matter of time. How are you feeling?

Oh...

Water. Can I have some water?

Yes, of course. Please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable there.

I've been trying to figure out how you knew Bennett.

-Are you part of Youth In Government?

-Er, no.

Ah. You must be an intern, then, at the paper.

-No.

-No? Um...

Community service? Just tell me if I'm hot or cold.

Cold.

Not East Ivy.

I don't think he held on to many friends from junior high.

No. I'm the one he got pregnant.

-Excuse me?

-I'm pregnant.

I'm sorry. I'm... I don't understand.

I'm three months pregnant.

Is it Bennett's?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

You gonna keep it?

She told me they only spent one night together.

I can't believe she has nowhere else to go until the paternity test.

Paternity test? I'm not putting her through that!

-Why are you defending her?

-I'm not.

-I don't see why she'd make this up.

-Because she's 18 and broke!

-Oh...

-I can't deal with this.

-Oh, Grace!

-Grace, come here. Calm down.

-We don't even know this girl!

-She seems like a nice girl.

-If it turns out to be his,

I'm not gonna be happy about it. I don't want everybody thinking

-that we're blessed. You don't think we're blessed, do you?

-No, I don't.

She's probably the one that dyed his hair blue, too.

-He never would've done that.

-I'll go down and get her.

Wait. Why does she have to come to our house?

We're grieving. That's not gonna be good for the baby.

This must be our only choice.

-Are you really pregnant?

-Yeah.

That figures. The one bad thing my brother does,

and he's not even here to get in trouble for it.

-I'm Rose.

-I know who you are.

He kept your yearbook photo on his bedside table.

-He did?

-Yeah. And I wouldn't touch it,

because he probably jerked off to it every night.

-So, you're his little brother?

-Yeah. The fuck-up.

-He didn't tell you I was a fuck-up?

-No.

-He never said you were fucked up.

-He was just being polite, then.

-Are you OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine. Why? Do I not look like I'm OK?

-You seem a little jumpy.

-I'm a little restless, yeah.

-You have a fever.

-I don't know why. I feel fine.

-Ryan?

-Yeah?

-My mom just checked into rehab.

Bananas and Gatorade. Should help.

Yeah.

What would you say, if someone asked you about this night?

Why do you want a compliment from me so badly?

Well, because you haven't given me anything!

I've given you everything.

Right. But I want more.

I wanna know what you're thinking.

Please?

I would say...

I would say...

WHISPERS

The greatest?

I like that.

I like those words.

FLOORBOARDS CREAK

-GRACE:

-'Oh, my baby! I don't know... He's just...'

-TV CHATTER

-'Somebody help me find my baby!'

Somebody help me find my baby!

-You see, I don't know where he went.

-SHE SOBS

Have you seen my baby? I can't find him.

I can't find him. He's so small.

-He was right here and then I can't find him.

-Come on, sweetie.

BOYS CHATTER AND LAUGH

My mom takes walks every night at six. I followed her two nights ago

and she just circles the block over and over again looking for James.

-Hold that thought. Hi. You must be Ryan?

-Mm-hm.

Come in, please. Sit down.

We were just finishing up. Feel free to listen or join in,

-whatever you're comfortable with.

-OK.

-Sorry, Leighton.

When I asked my dad where she was the first night

he said she was looking for James.

Sometimes she'll just run to his bedroom and throw open the door

like she expects to see him sitting at his computer or something.

Often parents that didn't view the body

still look for their child in crowds.

Sometimes they even think they see them. It's normal, Leighton.

The best thing you can do is talk about it with her.

I think it could help.

-So, Ryan, hi.

-Hey.

-What brings you here?

-Nothin'.

I just thought it was the normal thing to do.

-Are you experiencing any symptoms of grief?

-No.

-'Who are you here to see?'

-'Jordan Walker.'

-MACHINE BEEPS

-I don't know why they can't get this right.

-He prefers the blinds open during the day.

-Really?

Did he tell you that after he requested the aquarium?

I just wanted a little life in this room.

Er, decaf caramel macchiato, extra foam.

-Sheila told me.

-Trying to bribe me into feeding that fish

-on the weekend? It's not gonna work.

-No, it's fine.

I'll be here on the weekends.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

Oh, Toni, could you ask Dr Jacobson to stop in when he gets here?

-I have a few questions for him.

-Right away.

Thank you.

You give him the balloons, OK?

CHATTERING

SIGHS

You know, you don't have to share if you don't want to.

You can just listen. I highly recommend not sharing, actually.

These people are like grief vultures.

-Then, why are you here?

-Nowhere else to go.

And my sister, Amy, blew her brains out while we were at church.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What about you?

Oh, my brother, erm, he died in a car accident.

There's a ton of car accidents here.

Leighton's brother was in a car, so was Sarah's and Jason's.

Erm, Hilary's sister OD'd. And Jeremy's brother died

before he was even born and he's the most dramatic one here.

-It's like, "Do you even remember him?"

-You're the only suicide?

How do you know it wasn't murder?

Because you just said she blew her brains out.

Oh...yeah. Only suicide. Really special.

You know, it does get easier, or...more interesting,

all the different layers of...fucked-up-ness.

I-I-I'm fine. I'm... I'm doin' OK, actually.

The group's a good place to talk.

Your friends will start avoiding you.

Oh, I'm not talkin' about it with 'em.

-Well, then, I'm really glad you're here.

-Mm.

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

Did you ever notice me at all

any of those times we passed each other? Did you at least...

recognise me at some point?

Keep your eyes closed. I'm almost done.

OK, they're...they're closed.

-INHALES DEEPLY

-They're shut.

Good.

So...you won,

like, Most Popular,

or Best All Around or Best Guy To Know, right?

Er...right, yeah. It was just Best All Around.

So you're a nice guy?

Er, you think so?

Is that why you're here? Because you're nice to everyone?

No.

OK, well, you don't look like the prom king any more.

-Oh...shit!

-LAUGHS

-My mom's gonna kill me.

-Oh, I think it suits you.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-You're sure?

-Yeah.

You're so pretty, Rose.

THUNDER RUMBLES

Let us know if there's anything you can't eat.

I can only imagine how sensitive your stomach must be right now.

I mostly crave bean burritos from Taco Bell.

It was peanut butter and bananas for Grace.

-Right?

-Right.

-When Grace delivered Ryan

we thought she was gonna give birth to a banana split!

-CHUCKLES

-That was Bennett, actually.

Ryan, how are you enjoying your summer?

Summer's over.

Right.

I don't know why I'm having a hard time remembering that.

OK, here's another one. How's school?

It's good. I got all the classes I wanted.

Me and the guys hung out after school, went swimming

and we might go see a movie later.

Excellent!

-Why is it excellent?

-Well...seems like a nice way to spend a day.

All that's missing is a bean burrito.

-I've got something for Rose.

-Great. Let's see it.

So, there's this website where you can take two people's picture

and see what their kid'll look like.

And I took you and Bennett's yearbook picture. According to them,

-your kid will be riding the short bus.

-That's not appropriate.

Let me see. Oh, look. Look!

-At least it sets the standards pretty low. Right?

-That's enough.

-I'll still love it, maybe.

-LAUGHS

Anyone know if the weather's gonna clear up for the weekend?

Why do you always change the subject when Bennett's name comes up?

-I don't.

-Yes, you do.

-Grace...

-You do. Watch. Did you dye our son's hair blue?

-Rose doesn't wanna talk about this at the dinner table.

-Why not?

-I just wanna know.

-Grace, leave it alone. Why make a point now?

I'm not, I'm asking a question. Did you dye our son's hair blue?

I'm finished.

Yes.

You know, when I went to the morgue I didn't think it was him.

I thought they'd got the wrong boy because, I mean, our son

would never dye his hair blue! I thought they'd made a mistake.

And then...I saw his face and...it was him.

It was our son. And he was dead. Again.

It was like he died...twice.

I'm sorry.

You see, I didn't wanna make a point,

I just...wanted to ask a question.

I could come to you office hours, if that'd be easier.

No, no, no, don't do that, Dante. Let's go again from the top.

I'll come back tomorrow. I'll just make an appointment.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Maybe you should think about taking a little more time off.

-I can find a mid-term replacement.

-No, no, I'm fine.

Just haven't had my morning coffee, that's all.

Will you have dinner with me tonight? No strings attached.

We used to be good friends, remember?

I... I just need one night of sleep, that's all.

That's my problem, I just need one night of sleep.

What about the beach house?

It certainly is a wonderful place to...

forget about the world for a while.

Grace loves the beach house.

Right... Well... When Rick's mother died

I took the whole family to Florida for two weeks. It made a difference.

I can't talk to you any more. You know that.

I'm just trying to make sure you're taking care of yourself.

It's not always about Grace.

-Ryan, we're gonna go to the beach house.

-When?

The decision's been made, the whole family is going.

I said, when?

SIGHS

-Now, today.

-Can I bring someone?

-Yeah, sure. Who?

-Ashley.

-No drugs!

-Please, Dad, why not?

I'm serious, Ryan. Now, help your mother pack.

Do you think she wants a sample before we go?

TYRES SQUEAL

-Please, Grace, turn that off.

-How did the car crumple like that?

Maybe we should show this to Bill again.

-Maybe something was wrong with the frame of the car.

-There wasn't.

He gets out of his truck and goes towards Bennett and he's,

-it looks like he speaks to him...

-That's Ryan's sample there.

-He'd love you to test that.

-..then he gives him his jacket.

Are you gonna test the sample or not?

He was alive for 17 minutes. Aren't you the slightest bit curious about

-what happened in those 17 minutes?

-You know, maybe this is a good time

to stop the testing, you know.

Ryan's looking good and let's not push it.

What do you think?

I think it's really important to be consistent.

All right.

-I was just thinking it's too much for you.

-I'm fine, I can do it.

You didn't take her to the beach house, did you?

Of course not.

CAR STEREO # Wrapped around each other

# Trying so hard to stay warm

# That first cold winter together

# Lying in each other's arms

# Watching those old movies... #

Man, this is a great song.

Has anybody ever made love to this song?

-Mom has, she's laughing.

-# You were my leading lady

# We had it all

# Just like Bogey and Bacall

# Starring in our own late, late show... #

Am I sitting on his bed?

Yeah.

It's creepy.

-Do you guys get along?

-Er...yeah.

I mean, we did when we were little.

-My mom says I followed him around all the time.

-He is really cute.

My mom thinks he was the greatest thing that ever lived, but, er,

he actually could be a real cocksucker when he wanted to.

He won a lot of shit.

Yeah. Yeah, he did.

You probably would've wanted to date him.

-No.

-Yeah, you would have. Trust me. He had that effect on people.

I think my mom even wanted to date him sometimes.

-What about you?

-What about me?

Who wants to date you?

I don't know.

Er, you maybe.

Maybe.

-LAUGHS

-You won't win!

Gonna beat you down there!

Hi, Grace.

-Do you have a minute?

-Er, sure.

Er, I brought a book.

I have this baby book.

There are so many questions I don't know the answers to.

So, I was hoping you might like to help me fill it out?

-Is now a bad time?

-Fine. What do you need?

Um...

Let's see.

Er, his name. How did you come up with Bennett's name?

-Tony Bennett.

-The singer?

-Mmm.

-Oh.

I'm having a really hard time thinking of baby names.

Allen and I couldn't agree on the girl's name.

-I wanted Ruby and he wanted something more traditional.

-Ruby.

That's pretty.

-So, I hope that helps you out.

-Do you wanna feel?

-Aren't you gonna go swimming?

-He kicks when he hears your voice.

-Feel.

-I'm fine. Thanks.

Please.

-It's strong.

-Yeah.

Again.

I never thought I'd get pregnant.

I didn't think you could the first time. Who has that kind of luck?

-Think it was Bennett's first time?

-Yeah, I think so.

Funny, isn't it, how you're the only one who'll talk about him with me?

I'd love to, more than anything. I have so many questions.

I think you should go swimming.

-I'm Bennett.

-It's nice to meet you, Bennett.

You, too.

-OK.

-Hey, wait. Where you going to college?

-Er, Barnard. You?

-I thought you were going to NYU.

-No, I'm going to Barnard, they gave me a scholarship.

-Great.

Yeah, I'm going to Berkeley. No scholarship.

Yeah!

-I have to go to work cos I'm always really late, so...

-All right, OK.

Please don't go.

It's taken me a year to get the courage to talk to you.

Please don't go.

You've waited till 3.15 on the last day of school?

Right. I never said I had good timing.

-I have to go to work.

-Er, you know, can I maybe come...

-Can I come with you?

-LAUGHS

-Yeah.

-I'm sorry.

-Yeah.

-Yeah? Sure?

Yeah.

Ryan!

-TRIES TO WHISTLE

-Ry-Ryan?!

-Ryan! Ryan!

-WHISTLES

There's strong currents out there! Come outta the water!

-What?!

-Don't question me!

-Don't! Just come outta the water now!

-I know how to swim.

Goddammit, come out now! Right now and I mean it!

Do you understand me?! Come out, please!

Goddammit! Come out now!

-What are you doing? Ryan, listen to me.

-I know how to swim.

Hey.

-Oh, hi. Hi.

-Hi.

Did you swim?

Yeah... I did.

It was, er, good. It was good.

A bit cold, but it was good.

You OK?

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm OK!

Just fine.

-Nothing like an ocean breeze, you know?

-I know.

I always wanted to live by the ocean.

-My mom thought it was too close to the moon.

-That's a good one.

-Doesn't make any sense.

-Not really.

-Your mother is welcome to stay with us if she wants.

-That wouldn't work.

My mom is not really sane.

That wouldn't scare anyone in our house.

The truth is, I haven't told her I'm pregnant.

Why not?

Because she'll tell me I've chosen the wrong path.

I don't want to hear that.

I don't think you've chosen the wrong path.

I'm not sure why you chose it but I'm not sorry you did.

-I know there are other options.

-We'd have supported you either way.

-I'm not against any of them.

-Of course not.

-I just... I don't know.

-You don't have to.

-No, I do know...

-Come here. You don't have to know.

You don't have to know. We can talk about this at another time.

Should we catch a movie?

Ryan?

Allen?

-Do you want to see my only party trick?

-Sure.

Hold that.

Look at that. That's good.

I've never done that at a party. I don't know how it comes up.

Do you have any party tricks?

I don't know if it counts but I never forget peoples' numbers.

I...tend to memorise numbers.

What are my numbers?

Well, you have 18 years, 216 months, 364 weeks.

25,920 days.

311,040 hours.

You came to our doorstep on...

8/14, 2008, at 4:30pm.

Your due date is 2/12/2009.

Which leaves 119 more days.

2,136 hours.

128,160 minutes.

And you have two heartbeats.

As I get to know you I'll tell you more.

That's a much better party trick.

Jesus Christ!

-What happened? Where's Grace?

-She's fine.

-My son?

-Upstairs.

-What happened?

-Your wife had a difficult time at a store.

-She's out the back?

-Yes.

-Thank you. This is Rose.

-You all right?

-I called a taxi.

-Why didn't you call me?

-Because your phone was off.

I'm sorry. I was at the movies.

-You went to the movies?

-Yes, with Rose.

It was... It was nice to get out.

-How could you turn your phone off?

-It was only a couple of hours.

Anything can happen in a couple of hours. Anything.

What happened at the grocery store?

So was it a funny movie. I mean, did you laugh?

-Or was it sad, did you cry?

-Ouch.

-God, I can't stand that...

-Ouch.

Really. I'm warning you, don't...

I just wanna know what happened!

I've got an idea. Why don't you and Rose

go off to Paris or Rome, or somewhere romantic,

and get a vacation from all this death?

-Hey, that's not fair.

-You know what's not fair?

It's not fair that you can go to the movies with her

and I can't even pass Bennett's favourite cereal.

-Don't do this. Just don't...

-Allen!

-Goddammit!

-Allen!

Allen! What are you...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I really am sorry.

I love you.

I love you.

Grace, I love you and no-one else, do you understand me?

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I was gone so long. But I'm back now.

I know, wonderful, look.

They can't even follow the simplest instructions. How many times...

have I told them that you need the light? Enough of that. Let's read.

Ellison again. I don't remember where we are.

Is it the seventh or eighth chapter?

Let's see. Eighth chapter.

We're going to finish this summer reading list, which is a first.

The high school is much more boring than the college.

OK, where were we? Let's see.

"He started toward me as in a dream.

"Trembling like the needle of one of the gauges...his voice shrieking.

"I stared. Something seemed to have gone wrong.

"My reflexes..."

You know...

Allen, he hasn't always been like this.

He's actually a very kind man. You would see that if you met him.

He's never loved anyone less than he should. Never.

I want you to know that.

It's just a phase. A phase we're going through.

Just like any other...

-"What's the matter, I stammered..."

-DOOR BANGS

-He's all yours.

-What's going on? Wait? What...

-Mr Walker's being moved.

-What? Where? Why?

Mr Walker has warrants out for his arrest.

We're taking him to County Hospital where there's security.

-There must be a mistake.

-No mistake.

-What about his things?

-He's not going to need his things.

-He'll be terrified!

-What do you think he will add to your life?

The minute he wakes up, if he wakes up, he's being shipped to Rikers.

Are you gonna visit him there, too?

HE SIGHS

I think Grace might be having an affair.

-No.

-I wouldn't blame her if she was.

-I don't think she would do that.

I did.

I had one.

HE SIGHS

I needed to know that she loved me.

Our entire married life, I've always felt like...

..we were on our first date.

I never deserved her.

Never.

Do you wanna go to a party with me? HE LAUGHS

There's three kegs.

HE LAUGHS

LOUD DISCO MUSIC

-I don't think I'm dressed for this.

-Don't worry.

These people are pretty non-judgemental.

LOUD CHATTER

Oh, my God! You're here!

I didn't think it was possible for you to stretch like that.

-Shea, this is Allen. Allen, this is Shea.

-Hi. How are you?

Hi. Nice to meet you. Wait. Did you guys realise

this is a "wear something you'd never be caught dead in" party?

No. But I'm wearing Grace's old maternity clothes, so that works out.

-And you?

-This is it.

-Well, you're actually kinda perfect.

Come on in!

-Oh, boy.

-Right on!

Oh.

I wouldn't be caught dead naked!

Yeah!

Hey, erm, are you a pregnant teen or something?

Yeah, I am.

Do you live under a freeway and are gonna have a homeless baby

-and use it to raise more money?

-No, I'm just a regular pregnant teen.

Right on! I wouldn't be caught dead having a baby!

Hey, is it OK if I just come a little closer

and sit next to you guys for a second? I gotta tell you something.

Dude, I'm on acid.

I'm tripping, y'all. That's the way Britney Spears would say it.

She'd be like, "I'm tripping, y'all".

-We can go somewhere else.

-Yeah.

-No, wait. Wait. Stay.

Say something familiar, man, please. Just say something familiar.

I'm seeing too many ghosts.

-French fries.

-Yeah!

-Mr Bubble.

-Yeah!

-Monkeys?

-The ones that rip your balls off

for not sharing birthday cake, or the nice ones?

-No, the nice ones.

-Yeah.

SHE LAUGHS

LOUD DISCO MUSIC

-Well, that's...

-LAUGHTER

-Go, baby, go.

-Yeah! Let's go.

Bye.

-What did you do?

-People signed my belly.

-Oh.

-Seemed sweet at the time.

"Have a great summer. Good luck with the new keg."

I was never into yearbooks.

-Do you wanna sign?

-Erm...all right.

Don't you think it might be easier if you talked about him with Grace?

Flood gates.

I don't know what I'd do if they opened.

I'll talk about someone.

But it'll really be him.

-Why would you do that?

-Because there are things I need to tell you.

-OK.

-OK.

I knew this boy...

who was really wonderful to me.

-Is that OK?

-Yes.

The first time I saw him was in freshman English.

He wore a baseball hat on the first day of school

and our teacher made him take it off and his hair was all pasted

on top of his head. And he smiled at me while he tried to fix it.

And we watched each other after that.

And I started to feel like I knew him.

I looked at his yearbook picture so often, I knew his face by heart.

Our senior year, I took piano and he had soccer.

So we would pass each other every day after school in the exact same spot.

And it became something I looked forward to.

So much so that I could tell you all the days he was absent

because those were the days that I was disappointed.

And sometimes he would look at me. Sometimes he would turn away.

And sometimes it would be so intense

that we'd start looking at each other from the very beginning of the steps.

And then, on the last day,

he talked to me.

And everything he said was exactly how I pictured it would be.

And he felt the way he felt in my dreams

and I thought everything was happening

exactly the way it was supposed to.

And I was the happiest I've ever been.

Happy and scared all at the same time.

And if he had signed my belly, he'd have written something comforting.

That's one of the most difficult integrals...I've ever solved.

Took me three years to do it.

And I was in love with him.

That's why I'm keeping this baby.

I was in love with him for four years.

I barely knew him,

but everything... was exactly how I imagined it,

everything was... just how I pictured it.

And I had to keep this baby.

I think he was the love of my life.

I'm very tired.

I can't fight it any more.

I'm so tired.

-That was a good story.

-Thanks.

No, I mean, I don't mean it that way. I mean it was good to hear.

Not good for you, but good for me, I guess.

-So what was your brother's funeral like?

-I don't remember.

-It's all just a blur?

-No, I really don't remember.

-I was too fucked up.

-I didn't know you get high.

I don't. My mom tests me every two weeks.

It's pretty much the only thing they do that proves they know I'm alive.

-Need a ride home?

-Yeah, sure.

Baby is head down, which means you're getting very close.

How are you feeling, Mr Brewer?

You look like you can use some rest.

Oh, I'm fine. Thank you.

-How's the baby?

-Just where we want her to be right now.

-It's a girl?

-I'm sorry, I thought you knew.

-It's a girl?

-Oh, congratulations!

-Is she healthy?

-Doesn't get any stronger than that heartbeat.

-You've taken really good care of her.

-Oh, this is wonderful.

This is wonderful.

Excuse me.

It's wonderful.

OK, I'll be right back. A girl.

-What is wrong with you?

-I just need a minute.

-So, take a minute. I'm going back in.

-No...

I don't want this baby, Allen. I don't care if I sound horrible.

-You sound horrible.

-If Bennett were alive,

she never would have kept it. I can't be grateful.

-You don't have to.

-I won't.

-Don't do anything.

I don't care any more.

Don't I have the right to tell you how I'm feeling?

Not when everything you say is sounding so ugly.

-Right, losing a child is ugly.

-You don't have a patent on grief.

-You're not the only one. Other people grieve.

-You don't.

-You haven't shed a tear once.

-I'm gonna go back in.

Listen, somebody has to stand strong, somebody has to be together.

If I fall apart, everything goes to hell.

I am so sorry that I can't handle my grief

-and I don't treat this family like an army.

-It's not all about you.

There are people in our lives who need our attention.

You don't give a puppy to someone who's just lost their dog.

-You just don't do that.

-So what, give her back? Hm?

-Give her 20 bucks? Wish her luck?

-Treating her like she's a gift

like it makes it OK that our son is gone, it doesn't soften the blow.

She does for me.

Oh, I'm so glad for you. I'm so glad that the girl

that is the reason our son is dead softens the blow for you.

-That's not fair.

-What was he doing in the middle of the road?

If he's been with his friends, with us, would he have been?

-Answer me that.

-You don't know.

You haven't made the slightest effort to get to know this girl.

I don't want to get to know her. Why can't you understand?

It should have been her that died that night, it should have been her!

DOORBELL RINGS

Hello?

-Hi.

-Can I help you?

Yeah. Ashley left this scarf in my car.

Um... Who are you?

I'm Amy. I live here.

Amy.

Yeah.

Ashley's older sister Amy?

What'd she tell you? I grabbed a live wire?

Fell overboard on our family cruise? What'd you tell him, freak?

-Ryan.

-I'm telling Mom.

-I hate you!

-Freak.

-Ryan!

Ryan, please wait. I can explain! Ryan, please, just listen!

They don't pay attention to me. I might as well be dead!

-You have no idea what it's like.

-I do. I'm so sorry!

-You're a LIAR! That's what you are.

-It's all bad, trust me.

You have no idea what it's like!

Say it! Say you have no idea what it's like.

I have no idea.

Open the gate. Open the fucking gate!

-Ryan, I just wanted you to like me.

-Fuck you!

Hello?

Hello?!

MUSIC: "Tiger Mountain Peasant Song" by The Fleet Foxes

# Wanderers this morning came by... #

-What have you done?

-I called Gloria.

You said we were gonna talk about it.

I couldn't live with the house so neglected. Come on, please. Hey!

-What is wrong with you?!

-How could you do this? Whoa!

What is this? You washed his shirt?!

-You're fired!

-Don't do this! Christ! Stop it! Go home.

Grace!

-You've erased him.

-You're acting like a child.

I've done nothing like that at all.

I wanted to be able to see his pictures and to smell him

-and now he's gone!

-He's here.

-He isn't here, he's dead! He's gone!

-I know that, Goddamn it!

Don't! There's nothing to hold on to. Don't you understand that?

I haven't seen you shed one tear.

What is wrong with you?! Can't you just cry one tear?!

# Dear shadow

# Alive and well

# How can the body die?

# You tell me everything

-# Anything

-Allen?

-# True

-Oh, my God.

Allen? I'm sorry.

# Into town one morning I went... #

Oh, my God, Allen.

Mrs Brewer?

He had all the symptoms of a heart attack. Difficulty breathing,

tightness in his chest, heartbeat changes, dizziness.

-But it wasn't a heart attack?

-Not as far as we can tell. EKG looks normal.

-What was it?

-His body is under an incredible amount of stress.

He has high blood pressure, his sinuses have led to an infection,

he's suffering from sleep deprivation.

-But it was not a heart attack?

-Sometimes patients manifest symptoms

because it's easier to feel physical pain than emotional.

Ryan. I wasn't expecting you.

Can I share?

My, my, er, story. My... Whatever it is you people do here.

-Yes, of course.

-Where do I start? Where do you want me to start?

-You start wherever you like.

-Can I say my brother's an asshole?

-You can say whatever you want.

-OK, my brother is an asshole, right,

and now he's some fucking martyr god now that he's dead. He's dead.

-He's dead, right?

-Did you not get a chance to see the body?

I, um, no, I was too fucked up.

My mom came in to get me and I couldn't even move my head

so I didn't get to say goodbye. I just, er, laid there in my bed

thinking about the attention he was gonna get when he came home

and how his stupid friends were gonna sign his cast

and how he'd probably get a pity lay out of it.

So, um, I didn't get to say goodbye.

And, er, you know, the thing was about Bennett,

um...

The thing was...he, er...

He was never an asshole.

He was actually really cool to me.

And he could have ratted me out a thousand times and he never did.

Me and him used to do all kinds of fun shit together

and the truth is I wanna be just like him.

I loved him more than anything.

And I was too fucked up to say goodbye.

And in the end that's all I ever gave him.

It was nothing. Do you know how that feels,

to have your one shot... and fuckin' just blow it?

It's gone. I'll never get that chance again.

I just miss him so much.

-Hey, Mrs Brewer.

-He woke up?

-Yesterday morning.

Nobody called me. Is he all right?

He seems OK. He's getting transferred to Rikers.

-Can I talk to him?

-Make it quick.

Hello.

I'm Grace.

Brewer. Bennett's mother.

The boy in that car?

-So?

-So you were the last person to see my son alive.

I had the green. I'm gonna sue your whole family.

You remember?

-Are you feeling better?

-Does it look like I'm feeling better?

I saw the surveillance video

and it looks like you spoke to my son,

like you comforted him after the accident.

I didn't comfort anybody.

Now, I got some other shit on my mind.

-Do you remember if he was in pain?

-I'm not doing this, lady.

-I have waited a long time to talk to you. Please.

-Just get out.

-I can't.

-Get out!

-I can't.

He didn't die a hero or anything, if that's what you wanna hear.

It isn't.

I don't know. It happened. It happened fast.

He asked me if it was his fault.

-And you told him it wasn't?

-I told him not to worry.

And what else?

-You really want to know this, lady?

-More than anything.

His body...

was caught in between the front end of my truck and his door.

There was so much crushed metal

I don't know, maybe it was holding him together.

I didn't want to move him. I don't think I could, even if I tried.

His right arm was so far behind his body

it looked like it wasn't even attached.

I've never seen anything like it.

I had to climb out over the top of my truck to get to him.

I don't think he was in pain. I just... I think he was cold.

-And then you gave him your jacket?

-Yeah. It didn't make it any better.

It was, erm...the blood.

-The blood was making him cold.

-How much blood?

How much?

More than, er, I've ever seen.

Was he scared?

Er...I don't know. I mean, there was, er...

fluid everywhere, but a bunch of stuff coming out of him.

He might have been crying, I guess. I don't know.

Was he crying because he was in pain or because he was scared?

-What's the difference?

-Which one was it?

-Scared. I guess.

Do you think he knew he was dying? Did he know he was dying?

He knew it was bad.

But it's not like we were talking about God or anything.

I just told him, "You listen for those sirens."

-"Once you hear the siren everything will be all right".

-SHE SOBS

He needed me and I wasn't there, I should have been there

to make sure that he wasn't afraid and tell him that I loved him

-and hold him...

-Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey.

Hey, hey. Er...

You want some water or something?

He needed me and.... He called out for me but I wasn't even there.

He didn't call for you. He called out for her over and over.

That, er, girl in his car.

-Rose?

-Rose! All he cared about was Rose.

If she was hurt, if she was in pain. If she was asking for him.

He kept telling me, "You've gotta help her".

But I thought she was dead.

-He asked for Rose?

-He even asked me to turn up the radio.

This poor kid, he's got blood coming out his ears,

he wanted her to hear this song that was playing.

He thought she might like to hear it.

I have to go.

Relax, you can stay here as long as you want.

And, Rose, I've called my mom from Women's Correctional Facilities,

this is like tiny, I swear.

Hi, Lydia?

Hi, this is Shea. I'm Rose's friend from work.

-Tell her I'm OK.

-Rose absolutely is fine.

She wants me to tell you something which...

OK. Well, we're not gonna need a lot of your time, so...

I didn't know.

Er, she lost her job.

And she only has 15 minutes left on the phone.

I'm sorry to hear that, but Rose wants me to tell you something.

Which is that she is pregnant.

Yay.

I'd say just three or four months.

Yeah, she's keeping it. She put off Barnard for a year.

Yeah, she's handling it like a total Republican.

She wants you to know she is not scared

and she's getting support from the father's family and...

Erm, I don't know. I guess whatever she needs. OK...

She wants me to ask you something.

Tell her it's OK if she wants to come here.

-Tell her it's fine.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

What?

She wants you to ask for ten thousand upfront.

She says she'll help you if you get the ten thousand now.

She thinks that's what you'll need.

She seemed, like, really glad to hear you were doing OK.

It's fine.

-The doctor said you could go.

-Yep.

Good.

You talked with Jordan Walker didn't you?

Yes.

What did you learn?

Bennett loved her, didn't he?

Oh, yes.

I wanted him to call for me. Is that a terrible thing?

I called for you.

I called for you every day.

I'm here now.

Oh, my God...

Oh, my God. My boy.

My poor, poor boy.

OK, it's all right. OK

HE SOBS

I know, I know. It's OK. It's OK. That's it.

I wasn't there when he needed me most. I-I could have saved him!

I could've saved him. I could've saved him!

I had 17 minutes and I could've saved him.

Look at me. Allen, you couldn't. It was a mistake. It was a mistake.

He died on impact, he didn't suffer at all.

You couldn't have done anything. He didn't suffer.

There was no suffering. There was nothing you could have done to help.

-Really.

-Oh, Grace...

Grace...

-HE SIGHS

-It's OK.

We have to bring her home,

-we have to.

-OK.

All the places she could have gone. I'm gonna look for her.

-We'll go with you. OK?

-I'm ready. I'm OK. Come on.

Let's go.

-Good work.

-Well done.

Shea!

Hi. It's Allen Brewer here.

-You WOULD be caught dead dressed like that.

-I'm looking for Rose.

-You lost her?

-In a way.

-I don't know where she is.

-I'd like to find her,

we're very worried, so, please, if you could tell us something.

It's about time.

Try the place where they crashed. She goes there in the afternoons.

BUS BRAKES SCREECH

Rose!

-Rose! Wait!

-Rose!

-Rose!

-Rose!

CLASSICAL PIANO TUNE

Don't worry, the baby is fine!

-Rose, we were worried, OK?

-Why? Why would you be worried about me?

Because I'm reading old yearbooks to learn out about my baby's dad?

Where you goin', huh? You're gonna miss her!

Because the most disgusting stuff just came out of me on a bus?!

-Did your water break?

-I'm fine!

Really wonderful progress, Rose. A beautiful way to end the year.

We were concerned. You disappeared!

I could do anything and this baby will be OK.

Bennett!

Let us take you to the hospital and if it's too soon,

then, we'll take you home.

I don't want to. I don't want my baby to grow up in your messed-up home.

Am I supposed to raise her without ever talking about her father?

Tell her not to mention his name near her grandfather

because he hasn't acknowledged he's dead?

Or worry that her grandmother will smother her in her sleep

because she'd rather she didn't exist?

Or that her uncle will leave urine samples next to her crib?!

Sorry, that's not fair. I like you, Ryan.

I like you too.

Thank you.

Look, I promise I won't smother her in her crib.

I...know I wasn't very helpful to you in your situation

and if I had to do it again, I would do it completely differently.

Rose...

Look...

Once you have this baby, you'll understand

the most horrible thing that can happen to a mother

is to lose her child.

I'm sorry...

..for what happened between us.

I really am.

Please, Rose,

give us a chance here. Just...get in the car with us.

Please.

I don't even know who he is.

What do you wanna know? We'll tell you.

I wanna know everything I would know if he was still alive.

I want more memories of him.

We'll tell you everything you want to know.

We'll keep talking till the baby comes.

There's a picture of Bennett on the track.

Was he fast. Is my baby gonna be fast?

Yes.

How fast?

50-second 400 metre fast.

Wow.

Agh...

OK... OK.

He was voted Best All-Around. Why did people like him so much?

-Tell me!

-Er...

Because he was a nice guy.

In third grade when his friend Jack got glasses,

Bennett felt so bad that he took Allen's reading glasses. Remember?

He wore them to school so Jack wouldn't be alone.

Good. OK...

Erm... Who's this girl he's with?

That is his prom date. He only went with her cos she gave good head.

-Ryan!

-That's true.

-That's good. That's information.

She was a very smart girl. They studied English Lit at Oxford.

-She gave good head.

-Ryan...

-It's true.

-What else?

He hated having his picture taken. He'd make this horrible face.

-What was the face.

-Oh, it was...

-Show me the face!

-Terrible.

-He'd eat anything off his plate

as long as it was separated. He'd take all the toppings off pizza

-and he'd eat 'em in order. It was weird.

-A little OCD,

-but in a very sweet way, right?

-Very sweet.

-When he ate Cheerios,

-he'd eat them in pairs so they weren't alone...

-God, this hurts!

-I used to give him shit for that all the time.

-He never flossed

but wore an enormous amount of cologne once he discovered it.

-His room smelled like a men's magazine.

-Ow!

OK...

It's happening.

-Agh...

-I know. It's all right.

Bennett lived for eighteen years,

three months, seven days, two hours, thirty six minutes.

He broke six bones in his lifetime,

had a 3.97 GPA, never had a girlfriend before he met you.

His highest temperature was 104.3.

And, er...he knew how to count before he said his first word.

Which was?

-Wow.

-Wow.

CHUCKLES

Thank you.

Thank you.

You're doing great. Just keep breathing.

That's it. Squeeze my hand if you have to.

You're doing great. Just keep breathing.

We're going to be there soon. That's a girl. You're doing great.

It won't be long. Attagirl.

# A lullaby keeps on playing I'm thinking it's a dream

# Cos you miss those loving arms... #

Her name is Ruby.

# And you've got a good mind to pray

# They say it's all part of his plan

# But what if he's got slippery hands?

# It's a sad face you're wearing

# Like a burned-out sun

# Cos you miss those loving arms

# You'd think a grown-man would care about his bootlace undone?

# But you just miss those loving arms

# Yeah... You miss those loving arms

# And you've got a good mind to pray

# They say it's all part of his plan

# But what if he's got slippery hands?

# Well, goddamn...

# You're a boy, not a man

# When you miss those loving arms #

Hey!

Hi.

Hi.

BELL RINGS

# Everybody wants to know you

# They float all around your head like a mobile

# Hell, you don't know what they're saying

# Oh, but can't you tell you're a golden egg?

# Of all the ways I said your name

# A hundred times but now it's changed

# And little things I didn't have

# Are going off like bottle caps

# Earthlight, catch a reflection

# The cold night wants some attention

# I give without thinking

# That's the way it is now... #