Bachelor Knight

Miss Susan?

Miss Susan.

Miss Susan?

BELL RINGS

-Just five more minutes, Bessie.

-No, ma'am - now.

But, Bessie, I feel absolutely clunklish.

You just clunklish yourself down to breakfast. I'm getting the judge up.

-I'm up!

-"Clunklish"! When I went to school I learnt English!

Judge Turner?

Judge Turner? Judge Turner?

CLATTER

Five more minutes.

Breakfast is ready, Your Honour.

-What time is it?

-It's a few minutes past eight.

-My sister up?

-Yes, she was feeling a little clunklish but I got her up.

-Next time she says she feels clunklish, tell her not to be a clunk.

-Yes, Your Honour.

-Good morning.

-Good morning, dear.

-PHONE RINGS

Hello? Hi, Jerry!

-No, we have a speech this afternoon.

-Susan. Your breakfast.

Hang on a second.

-Sorry I'm late.

-Did you sleep well?

-Oh, clunklish.

Don't be a clunk, Miss Susan.

-You've coached her.

-Someone has to protect her.

-Margaret, the man who ran away with the 16-year-old girl...

-Yes?

-What did he get?

-Three years.

-That'll cost me 3! I always bet you won't sentence people.

-Ridiculous!

-How've you done?

-You've cost me a fortune.

-You should be interested in a more exact science, like geometry.

-I do not like geometry.

-Mr Roberts does.

He said you described a triangle as two women crazy about one man.

-Mr Roberts is definitely decadent.

-Is he?

-Margaret...?

-How much?

-Only 3 - in advance of my allowance.

You're already working on 1949.

And no more betting.

-I often wonder why you're so good to me.

-I'd die for you - but it's harder living with you.

-HORN BLARES I got to go.

-You haven't eaten your breakfast!

Thanks! Bye.

I can't talk now.

-Er, Bessie.

-Yes, ma'am?

Have you followed the case of the man who ran away with the girl?

-Yes, ma'am.

-Do you think my sentence was too severe?

-No! I'd have given him ten.

-Would you?

-I certainly would.

-Thank you, Bessie. I was just curious.

-HORN SOUNDS

-The judges.

I mustn't keep them waiting.

-Oh.

-Your Honour?

-Oh, thank you. Bye, Bessie.

-Bye, Miss Margaret.

Exit woman, enter judge.

-More's the pity.

-Uncle Matt, I take exception to your innuendo.

-I'm no problem to you. Now, Susan...

-Oh, nothing wrong with Susan that a man in the house wouldn't cure.

-I've been telling you that for years.

-I will not put up with your constant attempts to get me married.

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Come in.

Good morning! Good morning! Good morning, Margaret, Herr Doktor.

-Good morning.

-Margaret, I've found a copy of this rare Exegi Fossius.

-Thank you, Tom.

-The night-blooming Exegi Fossius? Put it in a vase!

You seem truculent this morning.

Physician, heal thyself.

See you later, Margaret.

For the record - I'm not as interested in the woman marrying, as in her marrying the right man.

He doesn't like me. It's a sixth sense one acquires in this office.

No. He has a life beyond his job as court psychiatrist. Occasionally they become confused.

Speaking of combining work with pleasure,

-I understand you're reviewing a case involving Richard Nugent...

-If your gift is in fact a bribe...

Oh, put it out of your head. But he's given us a lot of difficulty.

-Let's both go where we were going. So long, Tommy.

-Very well.

But remember - absit invidia.

-We're ready, Your Honour.

-All right, Max.

­ Do you swear that the evidence you shall give in the State v Nugent

shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

ALL: Yes.

Go ahead.

We picked up Richard Nugent on a radio riot call.

It was a free-for-all, and Nugent was at the bottom of it.

-Which of you is Nugent?

-Mr Nugent isn't here, Your Honour.

-Is he in hospital?

-No, out on bail.

-He knew the hearing was at nine?

-Yes, Your Honour. He must have been unavoidably detained.

If Mr Nugent isn't here soon I shall forfeit his bail.

-But...

-I'll hear the evidence.

-Your name?

-Anthony Herman. I work at the Vampire Club.

I throw people out if there's a disturbance.

-What happened last night?

-I got back from maintaining order on a guy who said the music stank,

and I became aware of loud activities and screams.

As I rushed over, a straight left catches me.

As you can see.

A short time later I'm informed it's all over. But I remember one thing -

-Mr Nugent was at the centre of it.

-You didn't see him fighting.

Oh, he was fighting... THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

SHE BANGS GAVEL

-THEY FALL SILENT

-Your name?

-Miss Agnes Prescott.

-Go on.

I'm an entertainer. Huh!

I've known Mr Nugent some time. I once posed for him - in costume.

I've posed for Mr Nugent, too. In costume.

-Shall I continue?

-By all means.

Last night, Mr Nugent dropped in. While we were having a few words,

we were accosted by this...lady, which I resented!

Harsh words were exchanged. Mr Nugent came to my defence. I knew him first!

-THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

-Just a moment.

Mr Nugent has exactly 60 seconds.

Mr Nugent's unpunctuality comes as no surprise to the District Attorney's office.

The DA has a special interest.

It's the third time Mr Nugent has created a public disturbance.

I object, Your Honour. The remarks will prejudice the court.

This case only should be considered.

-Your Honour, it's important... >

-I'll consider only this evidence.

-Very well. >

-Don't sulk.

Good morning.

-Morning.

-Morning.

-Good morning.

-Good morning. Morning.

May I assume this is Mr Nugent, the defendant?

-I'm frankly and honestly delighted, Your Honour.

-Is it all right to go ahead now?

-I'm sorry...

-I hope we haven't inconvenienced you.

-It's just...

-Your watch is slow.

Stopped.

-Forgot to wind it.

-This court works on schedule, Mr Nugent.

-Nine o'clock means nine o'clock.

-Yes, sir... I mean, Your Honour.

Did you go to the Vampire Club last night?

Yes. I'm doing a series of paintings on Americana, including a nightclub scene.

Creating one, more like.

There seems to be some doubt as to how the fight started.

Well...

-Agnes had finished her spot. That's a theatrical term for routine.

-Thank you(!)

We were having a drink when Florence...

-We've met.

-..appeared. She, er...

-Florence has posed for me.

-I merely stopped to say hello, which this canary resented.

-Well, my escort...

-I'd prefer to hear Mr Nugent's version.

Thank you.

Florence's escort appeared. You've met him, too?

He objected to Florence coming to my table. Florence didn't like that.

Tony slapped Florence and I slapped Tony.

Defending American womanhood. Get that!

Florence attempted to stop the fight. Agnes scratched Florence.

Florence...

No-one can remember a fight punch for punch.

Mr Nugent has been in escapades, but never through any fault of his own.

The fact that he is a painter of contemporary life can place him in unusual circumstances.

-Mr Nugent should not get special privileges because he's an artist.

-No, Your Honour.

-The DA's office would like him held.

-I see no reason for that.

The fight involved everyone and they are equally guilty or innocent.

-Go home, nurse your wounds and be a little less emotional next time.

-Thank you. May I go?

-You just got here. Don't you like our court?

-Oh, I like it fine. Only I'm due to give a lecture.

-Really! What in?

-America as I see it.

It should be interesting.

Mr Nugent, I've met your type before. I sentence them every day of the week.

Next time you won't be dealt with so leniently.

I suggest you confine your painting to still life.

Case dismissed. Next case.

(Don't press your luck.)

I wish we didn't have this thing. I hate lectures.

..if your coach told you to get exercise...

You OK for Saturday night, Susie? You promised.

-Promises are the hollow shells of undone deeds.

-What does that mean?

You're a nice boy, Jerry, but you're callow.

-Not too callow to take you out when money's low.

-Don't create a scene.

You're looking for a knight in shining armour. I'm competing with something medieval!

Don't be a stube! BELL RINGS

Students, members of the faculty,

our High School is honoured

in having as guest lecturer

a man who will speak to us about the classical tradition of painting.

He's well qualified to speak to us about painting

because he's one of America's foremost exponents of painting.

Students,

I know you will express enthusiasm for his appearance here today.

I present Mr Richard Nugent.

SPARSE APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE INCREASES

CHEERS

SOMEONE WOLF WHISTLES

..A lot of people think of art as stuffy.

But true art has something to say to everyone.

Great art unites the masses in every country.

-He's handsome!

-I suppose so - for an older man.

Look at it in terms of history.

Each age, each era becomes visual to us when the artist recreates it in stone, bronze or on canvas.

The essence of art is simplicity. If I wanted to capture America,

I wouldn't look for towering mountains or fields of grain.

I'd put America on canvas in a picture of one of you.

In his denims, shirt open at the neck.

He'd be young, eager and proud because of what's ahead of him.

You're the kids who'll be running our factories, voting for what you want this country to be -

-a place where there's freedom...

-You all right?

..I'd try to convey all that in the portrait, too. Thank you.

Mr Nugent. Mr Nugent! My name is Susan Turner. I'm a student here.

-No!

-Yes!

I loved your speech.

Bye, Mr Nugent! SHE WHISTLES

-Nice to have met you...

-You don't understand!

-I have to interview you.

-What?

-For the school paper. I'm editor.

-Shall we go somewhere quiet?

-Well...

-We don't often have an artist here. I bet you've had an interesting life.

Could we do this some other time?

-I have a date.

-You're not married!

-No.

-Oh, I knew it! You couldn't be!

Well, I've had some offers.

It's this way. We can talk in here.

-Don't you see, I...?

-Please?

-Have you ever been married?

-No.

-Ever been in love?

-Yes, I have. Tell me, what kind of paper does this school run?

-Oh, all the students read it!

-I bet!

You probably have no idea what an unusual person you are.

But I can see it. I'm really much older than I look.

These are merely the vestments I don as a concession to our outworn educational anachronism.

But I know what the artistic soul is like, how it suffers.

-Did you have many ordeals before you found success?

-No...

-You can tell me.

I want you to think of me not as a newspaper woman but as a friend.

In that case, I'll tell you.

I did suffer.

When I was ten my parents had a suicide pact. They made it.

I was sent to an orphanage. Some days they didn't beat me.

Then I escaped.

I ran away to New York. I used to steal.

-What did you steal?

-I beg your pardon?

-What did you steal?

-Crusts of bread.

And things.

One time I stole a valise. There were paints inside it.

So I began to paint. Then they got me.

-I was sent to a reform school, but I escaped again.

-Go on!

Back to New York. A wealthy lady saw my work, fell in love with me

and sent me to art school. The rest is history.

How wonderful.

How terribly wonderful.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must rest.

Of course.

-Goodbye, Miss...

-Turner!

Susan Turner! Remember what you said about painting one of us?

-America and the grain?

-Yes, I do.

D'you think I'd make a good model?

-You're not quitting the paper?

-It's a stopgap. My family want me to do law, but I don't want to be Portia.

-That's something you can sort out.

-One female judge in the family is enough.

-Did you say your name was Turner?

-Yes. My sister's Judge Margaret Turner.

-Bye!

-What about my posing for you? America?

-Fine.

-You think I'm ideal?

-Sure. Sometime.

Thanks for the interview. Bye.

-Not goodbye, au revoir.

-Au revoir!

-Something wrong?

-That picture. It's hideous.

-It's very nice!

It has no simplicity! It's so...so busy.

-True art should unite the masses in every country.

-Hmm.

-Who lectured today?

-What does that have to do with it?

-Everything.

Last month you wanted to be a designer.

Then you wanted to be a female deep sea diver.

Now you find our painting offensive. What does this artist look like?

He's wonderful. I interviewed him.

-I've never seen anyone in armour before.

-Few people have, Susan.

You don't know how wonderful he is.

-He's had to lie and steal to get somewhere in life.

-That's just dandy!

-What's the name of this knight?

-Richard Nugent.

Richard Nugent... Richard Nugent?!

-Have you heard of him?

-We have a permanent courtroom for him!

-How dare he lecture in a school?!

-Don't get excited. All he did was talk about art.

-And he was very good.

-Perhaps you're right.

I suppose there's nothing wrong with his lecturing.

Have you ever thought of me as a model?

I can't honestly say that I have. Why?

Dicky wants me to pose for him.

Isn't that nice(!)

Dicky?!

He's a very fine man. You don't know him.

-Enough to advise you to go back to diving!

-I don't need your advice.

I'm acting in your own best interests.

-You'll make me an old maid!

-When a suitable man appears I'll be happy.

-If he does a lie detector test first!

-I want you to forget all about Mr Nugent.

-Why don't you write out a court order?!

KNOCKING

-Good evening, Mr Chamberlain.

-Is the lady in?

-She's practically out.

-Hello, Your Honour.

-Only a moment, Tommy.

-Are you all right?

-Fine. Just fine.

-I'm sorry about our...

-Oh, it's all right. It was nothing.

I'll be home early. See you in the morning.

Goodbye. Have a good time.

-Do I detect an air of trouble?

-I never enjoy quarrelling with Susan.

-She's entitled to growing pains.

-They're rapidly becoming a disease.

-Can I help?

-What apartment is Mr Nugent in?

-He isn't in any.

-Doesn't he live here?

-Sure, but he isn't home.

-Anything I can do for you?

-Thank you, I'll wait.

-He expecting you?

-I'm going to pose for him.

-Oh.

-D'you want to wait upstairs?

-Would it be all right?

-Sure. I'll take you.

-You're new around here.

-Yes.

-I'm 15!

-I'm 17.

-That's OK. I like older women.

Mademoiselle.

Here we are.

Some layout, huh?

-This is where he lives.

-I've got work to do. Make yourself at home.

SHE MOUTHS

-When did you discover she was gone?

-About dinnertime.

-What time was it?

-A quarter past seven.

-Did she leave a note?

-I didn't find any.

-Are...

-This isn't a criminal investigation. Bessie, you may go.

-Thank you.

-You're Assistant District Attorney. Do something!

-We have no clues.

-Have you checked the hospitals?

-Yes. Airports, railroad, bus stations. Did you call her friends?

-Hours ago.

-Jerry came to see her. She'd gone.

-PHONE RINGS

-Hello? It's for you.

-Hello. Chamberlain speaking.

Keep a man there. Check the morgue.

HE HANGS UP I'm sorry. It's routine.

-I remember an important...

-If she's hurt I'll never forgive myself.

-I shouldn't have quarrelled with her.

-What was it about?

-I said she couldn't pose for Richard Nugent...

HE WHISTLES

RADIO: '..Aggravated by the imponderables of international...'

ORCHESTRA PLAYS RELAXING MUSIC

HE WHISTLES THE MELODY

Hello, Mr Nugent.

Dicky, hello!

BANGING ON DOOR

< Let us in!

RADIO: 'Now we bring you that sensational tune Fast Ride In A Patrol Wagon.'

SIREN BLARES

Tell me exactly what happened.

-If I knew that I wouldn't be here!

-Give me a rough idea.

-Where were you when they let me use the phone last night?

-I had not anticipated your winding up in jail.

-I have a life of my own.

-I hope I haven't inconvenienced you!

-Not at all.

-Sleep well? Good breakfast?

-The facts!

-Sit down.

Get a load of this.

I got home to my apartment last night. That much I know.

This girl was there. At least, I think she was. I don't know.

-Judge Turner's sister?

-That's right.

-Young girl?

-What did you say?

-Young girl?

-Too young.

Nugent, why don't you tell me the truth?

I AM telling you the truth. That's what happened last night.

Nobody listened to me. I couldn't explain. Now please...

I got home to my apartment last night.

I went up to my bedroom, took off my dinner coat, put on a robe, came downstairs, turned on the radio,

got a nice highball, opened a book, sat down to read,

when up popped this little girl. Little girl popped up.

There's banging. Somebody busts in.

-Did the girl...?

-Everybody's talking at once...

-Did the girl explain why she was there?

Yes... She tried to explain. They wouldn't let her.

She said she'd come to be a model.

Did you or did you not invite her up there to be a model?

Well, in a roundabout way, I guess I did.

She kept saying I was going to paint her as Young America.

-Did you tell her that?

-I've told that to 500 little girls!

-Let's not go into that.

You're charged with hitting the District Attorney. Did you or did you not hit him?

I hit him. That's right.

I did not know he was the Assistant District Attorney.

If I had known he was the Assistant DA...I would have hit him.

He said some very bad things. Kept pulling on my arm. Wouldn't let the little girl explain.

-And her sister - that's a mountain of ice, a gallon of poison! Jumping to conclusions!

-Control yourself!

If worst comes to worst, maybe I can get your sentence reduced.

-But you have to remember coherently exactly what happened.

-Oh, sure.

If you talked like this in front of a court, you'd get 20 years.

I'm ready to go now.

Coherently. Exactly.

See you later. You'll know me - I'll be dressed like a lawyer.

HE MUTTERS

Mr Nugent, you got a visitor. It's Dr Beemish.

Mr Nugent?

-I'm the court psychiatrist.

-Return in an hour. I'll be crazy by then!

I'm here to help. You're just an innocent bystander.

-Sit down, doctor.

-Thank you.

-May I offer you a drink?

-No, thanks.

-Cigar?

-No, no, I'm fine, thanks.

-Is this cell comfortable?

-I've nothing to compare it with. This is my first time.

-Oh, oh.

-I think you'll find our penology system is quite modern.

-That's a load off my mind.

What can they do to me if I kill a judge?

-Judge Turner appears to be a very dominant woman, but her dominance is actually retreat.

-Is that so?

We call it a manifestation of the Oedipus complex.

As Menangere so clearly points out, traumatic events seem to...

The only traumatic event she needs is a good smack in the jaw.

She's my niece.

But you're absolutely right.

-Judge Turner's ready for you, Doctor.

-Thank you.

Just leave things in my hands, Mr Nugent.

-I dare say you'll be surprised at the results.

-Dare say.

I have a plan.

-Nugent seems a nice fellow.

-Sure you were talking to the right man(?)

Certainly. About six feet, broad shoulders, blue eyes.

-He has brown eyes.

-Oh, has he? Margaret, have you made any definite plans about Nugent?

It isn't my case. Judge Treadwell is viewing the evidence.

Oh. Well, I hope Treadwell doesn't go too far.

I won't be responsible for Susan.

You were saying?

Susan thinks she loves this man.

If things take their normal course, in a few weeks she will have forgotten all about him.

But sending him to prison will martyr him in her eyes.

-It'll be a tragedy she'll never get over.

-Nonsense!

You don't understand. Susan's not like other children. She's above that sort of silliness.

KNOCKING

Sorry to bother you. This lady came to see Mr Nugent.

-She claims to be your sister and his mother.

-Susan!

I just wanted to talk to him. About the steel business.

She baked this.

Thank you, Melvin.

What's happening to you?

I'm in love with him. Don't you realise that?

If I lose him, life has no meaning. I love him.

SUSAN SOBS

-How about a reversal?

-You win.

KNOCKING Come in.

Here's Mr Nugent.

-Hello, Richard. Well, you don't look any the worse for wear.

-Prison agrees with me(!)

-Mr Nugent, I have good news.

-They're going to hang me!

I'm the one who ought to be hanged.

Won't I sit down?

-Please do. I believe you know Dr Beemish.

-Yes.

-This is Judge Treadwell.

-How do you do?

-How do you do?

-You know Assistant DA Chamberlain?

-Nice to see you again.

-Sorry about that misunderstanding.

-Forget it.

-That's generous of you.

-Not at all.

-I lost my temper, too, last night. Pardon me.

-That's all right. I hope you'll pardon ME!

Thank you for holding this preliminary hearing in camera.

That's all right. Given Mr Nugent's reputation, I see no reason to expose him to unnecessary publicity.

This incident can be straightened out amicably, if the Assistant DA doesn't wish to press charges.

I wouldn't want to see Mr Nugent in jail.

-Well, thank you. I guess I'm free to go.

-Just a moment.

-I believe Judge Turner has a suggestion.

-Anything.

-Yes.

It isn't much. I'm worried about Susan.

-Oh.

-She's become quite enamoured of you, Mr Nugent.

-Well...

-We wondered if you'd help us by taking her out.

-I'd be glad to...

-Doing what?!

-Being her beau, just until she gets over you.

-Dr Beemish says she mustn't feel you're being martyred.

-Oh, does he? Let Dr Beemish take her out!

There's no law says I have to.

No-one's trying to force you. We hoped you'd WANT to.

Because your attitude will have a bearing on the other charges, if the Assistant DA chooses to press them.

-All I did was punch his nose!

-Mr Walters,

if a man was brought before you who'd enticed a 17-year-old to his apartment to "paint her portrait",

and who'd brutally assaulted the Assistant DA, what would you do?

-I'd give him 20 years.

-Which side are you on?

-You haven't proved it.

-We will.

-That's for the jury to decide.

Mr Walters, if this man realised the young girl was in love with him,

and agreed to help her get over him, wouldn't you be lenient?

I would. I'd drop the charges.

That's exactly what I'd do.

What do I have to do?

You'll see Susan whenever we deem proper. As soon as your fascination wears off, you're free to go.

-What if it doesn't wear off?

-It will.

-Oh!

Mr Nugent, please have no illusions about this matter.

This is against my judgment. I'd as soon she went out with an actor.

-Judge Turner doesn't mean that.

-Oh, just wondering.

She means I've recommended you as a vital therapy measure.

Huh! That's great(!) Recommended for children!

Get him!

This row is reserved for faculty and important members of the student body. I hope you like basketball.

Crazy about it!

Good evening, Susan.

-Geometry straightened out?

-Yes, Mr Mittwig.

-Your handkerchief.

-You must be a new boy.

-We'll probably run into each other.

-I gave a lecture here on art.

Oh, you're in Miss Hellop's class. Excellent teacher! Excellent!

WHISTLE BLOWS There they go!

CROWD CHEERS AND WHISTLES

CROWD CHEERS

WHISTLE

M-F, S-U-N.

F-F, S-E-T.

S-U-N-S-E-T.

-Sunset! Sunset! Sunset!

-Ra!

We had a better team last season, but our star centre graduated.

-Too bad.

-I think our new centre needs more experience.

-Oh, at least.

-He used to be sort of a boyfriend of mine.

-What?

-Oh, until I met you.

-You mean that fine-looking young man who smiled at you?

Yes, that's the one. He's just a child.

-Is he in love with you?

-I suppose so.

But you needn't be jealous, Richard. He's really terribly unsophisticated.

WHISTLE

White out.

-Sit it out for a while. Get your mind back on the game.

-Yes, sir.

Yes, fine figure of a man! I'd like to meet him.

That can be arranged.

-Great game, Mr...

-Jerry White, Richard Nugent.

-How do you do?

Usually my game's better. It's kinda off. Personal troubles.

It's too bad that certain athletes are concerned with their own problems, instead of beating PB High.

Oh, I don't know, Susan. Why don't we all talk it over? Will you join us for a soda after the game?

-You mean that?

-Yes.

-I'd love to!

Thanks, Mr Nugent.

I feel a lot better, Coach. Sure would like to get back in the game.

-All right. Go in.

-Thanks.

CROWD CHANTS

-White for Baldman.

-Baldman, eh?

CROWD CHEERS

WHISTLE

Hooray! Sunset!

Hooray! What a player! Hooray!

SWING MUSIC PLAYS

Thank you.

I feel sorry for Jerry.

-Why?

-I played basketball as a kid, about 20 years ago...

-I'll bet you were wonderful.

-Not as good as Jerry. He's a champ.

-His game's off because of you.

-You think?

-I know.

-It's awful what a woman can do. Look at Caesar and Cleopatra...

-Napoleon and Josephine.

-All of them.

-Behind every defeated man is a frustrated love.

-You're right.

-You bet.

And I promise all my life never to hurt you.

It was a tough game.

-Hello, Jerry.

-But we won.

-Certainly through no help from you.

-I thought he played a splendid game.

-No, he didn't.

-He did.

-I didn't.

-What will you have?

-I'm not hungry. I'll have a double sweetheart flip.

-Aren't you in training?

Sometimes a man just doesn't care.

-You see? I know how you feel.

-You do, huh?

When Susan told me about you and her, I was sore. You can't blame me.

-No...

-My first instinct was to take a poke at you.

-Jerry!

-Let me finish.

I said to myself, let's be civilised.

If Susan feels that way, it's all right.

That's big of you, and generous.

-We can still be friends.

-Of course.

-No matter what.

-Dick and I will treasure your friendship.

If I can do anything for you, just call Jerry.

-And if we can do anything for you, just ask.

-Get in touch.

-Well, I guess it's goodbye, Jerry.

-I guess it is.

-I guess it is...

-Oh, Susan...

-Yes, dear?

It isn't becoming for you to call me "dear" and "darling".

-Why, darling?

-Stop that.

-The basketball game was fun, but it can't go on.

-I know. The season's over next week.

No, Susan. Wait a minute. I mean the whole thing can't go on.

You got me into this. You told your sister I asked you to pose for me.

-That's true, in a way.

-It isn't so and you know it. Let's not argue.

-Everyone now has the crazy idea you're in love with me.

-I am.

Look at me. Susan, I wouldn't say this to many people, but I'm old enough to be your father.

-You're so right, dear.

-Honey, you've got to realise that this isn't proper for either of us.

-You're so right, dear.

-It's...

-Step.

-Thanks.

-It's gonna embarrass you, too.

-You're so right, dear.

-You're not paying any attention.

-You're so right, dear.

Well! Good evening, Susan. Good evening, Nugent.

-Glad to see you kids home early.

-We're not home yet.

-Did you have a good time? How'd you like a cigarette?

-I'm not allowed to smoke.

-Sorry, I've no bubble gum.

Good night, Tommy.

Nugent, we're having a birthday party Saturday for my niece. Love to have you come. She'll be six.

-How's your jaw?

-Fine. Why?

-Because the worst I can get is 90 days.

Temper, temper! Well, toodle-oo, kids!

Hello, Margaret.

Hello, Susan.

-Good evening.

-Good evening.

-That's the new dress.

-Like it?

-Beautiful!

Too bad you had to go to that dreary dinner.

-It was nice. Did you enjoy yourself?

-It was simply sensational.

-You'd better turn in now. School tomorrow.

-Yes, of course.

Good night, Dicky.

Good night, Susan.

-Good night.

-Good night.

-Good night, Dicky.

-Good night.

Well, um, good night.

Good night.

That is a beautiful dress, and you look wonderful in it.

Thank you. You said that gracefully - perhaps the result of practice.

-You said that ungraciously - perhaps the result of practice.

-I had that coming.

-You got a moment?

-Yes.

That's right.

My mother was a remarkable woman. She taught piano.

Funnily enough, children liked to take lessons from her.

Anyway, I read a lot of books she didn't want me to read.

A perfectly normal attitude.

One day, downstairs, I found a book with a very racy title. I sneaked it up to my room, started to read.

I read for a long time. It was awful dull, but I kept on with it.

Then I discovered Mother had stuck a philosophy book under that paper cover with a racy title.

I waded through the thing. I never found anything exciting, but I learned a lot about philosophy.

Very interesting.

My father was a judge. When he gave me a book about law, I knew it would be about law.

And when you meet a man labelled "artist", you know he'll be all you think an artist is supposed to be.

Concerning you, I sat in judgment on a series of facts, not on your character or biography.

I just took the long way around to tell you

that when I said you look wonderful in that dress, I meant it.

I'm sorry. I've never been subjected to so much charm before.

Well, I'm afraid we're wasting a perfect, beautiful moon, and I'm keeping you up.

-Good night.

-We'll see you Saturday. You're taking Susan to the picnic.

I'll be here, don't worry, with my very best Saturday picnic charm.

-Good night, Your Honour.

-Good night.

Hi, Jerry.

-Hi, Mr Nugent.

-Why are you out here?

-It's hard to get Susan out of your system.

-I know.

-Why don't you go inside?

-I'm not welcome.

-Susan probably doesn't know you're out here.

-She put me here.

I'm a square in Susan's social circle. It's not her fault.

-It's her uncle - Judge Thaddeus. Have you met?

-No.

-He's fierce.

All I said was "Greetings! Yookey dookey!" He blew a fuse.

-Sounds OK.

-He's been around lawyers so long he's forgotten how people talk.

-Sure. "Greetings! Yookey..."

-Are you going to the picnic?

-I was, but...

-Like to use my car?

-You're kidding!

-No, I'd like to borrow yours. Does it run?

-Sure!

-Where are the keys?

-You don't need a key.

-Oh. Here are the keys to mine.

-Thanks.

-See you there.

-She sure is a honey.

-Just a later model.

-DOOR BUZZER

-That must be Richard Nugent.

-Who the devil is Richard Nugent?

-He's taking Susan to the picnic.

-You'll like him.

-How in blazes do you know?

Hi! Greetings! Yookey dookey!

-Dicky!

-Poot, let's scoot!

-Reet!

-You remind me of a man.

-What man?

-With the power of hoodoo.

-Hoodoo?

-You do!

-What?

-Remind me of a man...

-Good morning.

-Greetings.

-(Are you mad?)

-What?

-(What are you doing?)

-I don't dig you!

-What are you whispering about?

-I'm sorry.

-Hi, Uncle Matt!

-May I present Judge Turner?

-How do you do?

-Ooh! This isn't a pump handle.

-He's sharp!

-You remind me of a man.

-What man?

-With the power of hoodoo.

-Hoodoo?

-You do!

-What?

-Remind me of a man.

-Judge Turner's an Associate Justice.

-Better than working for a living!

-Won't we be late to the picnic?

-Yes.

I'm a pepper shaker! The hot rod's outside!

Come on, Thaddeus.

Hmmm. "You remind me of a man..."

-Who do?

-No, I'm supposed to say that!

-But that's Jerry's car.

-Just looks like it.

-What's this?

-Friend of mine made it!

You expect me to ride in that? Margaret, I want to talk to you.

Come on, Thaddeus. There's no time for talking. Come on.

Oh, this is nonsense!

Yip-dippy-dee!

TRAD JAZZ MUSIC

EXHAUST BACKFIRES

-Nice car, Richard(!)

-Thank you.

Ooh! I just hope you come up before me sometime!

-It must run in your family.

-Ooh! Ooh!

-Hello.

-I've been waiting.

-We were delayed.

-Mind your thumb!

-It's the junior set!

Hello. Ooh!

-Can I get you something?

-A seat that doesn't bounce!

-We can get our lunch there. Come on.

-I'm as hungry as a bear! Let's join the ants!

Ladies and gentlemen,

the first events of the afternoon are the novelty races,

open to adults, parents and friends.

-I used to be pretty good at these things as a kid.

-It's open to parents.

-I'm not a parent.

-Too old, Chamberlain?

-Of course not.

-Of course not.

-All right, then, I will.

-How about you?

-Don't be silly.

-I want a medal.

-Get her a medal.

-Too old?

-To run in a sack race? No.

Then go on there and show them, Dicky.

All right, I will.

-Hold that.

-Hold this.

-Let's go to the finish line. I want to see Dicky win.

-Coming, Uncle Matt?

-You go ahead. I'll wait here.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Step right up and get a sack.

You all set? All right, steady now.

Ready, gentlemen?

On your marks, get set...

Oh!

All right, ladies and gentlemen, all set for the three-legged race -

one of the most hilarious events.

Come on, folks, pick out your favourite

and cheer him to the finish line.

All right, on your marks, get set...

All right, we're all set for the spoon-and-potato race.

On you marks, get set...

Disqualified. You have to finish on your feet!

On your marks, get set....

-Come on, Dicky!

-Come on.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is it.

This is the main event of the afternoon.

You are about to witness the obstacle race -

a supreme test of skill, stamina and endurance.

-Oh!

-Come on, Dicky, stand up. I can't pin it when you're sitting.

-You've had enough.

-No.

-We've just begun to fight.

-Just begun.

Can you hold these heavy medals, Uncle Ted?

REFEREE: Everybody get ready. Report to the starting line.

-Oh!

-Come on, Dicky. I know can win.

-Sure, sure.

-REFEREE: Last call!

-Hi.

-Hi. Where have you been?

-Trying out that super-gelati. Hi.

-Hi, Jerry.

Dicky, you've got to win me that cup.

-You're going in the race?

-Yep.

-May the best man win.

-He will.

-I'm beginning to worry about him.

-Why? He's got courage - a man's man.

I hope he wins.

For Susan's sake.

-Of course!

-Let's go down to the finish line.

REFEREE: ..The obstacle race. All right. All you contestants take your places on the starting line.

Anyone who fails to take an obstacle is disqualified.

On your marks, get set... PISTOL FIRES

Keep going.

HE YELPS

-Excuse me. I slipped.

-You pushed me.

-It was nothing - just a race.

-Congratulations, Mr Nugent.

Everybody to the bandstand for the grand award.

You were wonderful. Grand award - that's you.

Oh, sure. Grand reward.

-Thanks for letting Dicky win.

-You can pay the boys 75 cents apiece.

-If it was anyone else, they'd have charged a buck.

-I'll pay you, too.

-No. Some things can't be bought.

-Jerry, at times you're really very nice.

Quiet, please.

It gives me great pleasure to present this beautiful trophy

to that great athlete and winner of the feature event,

Mr Richard Nugent.

CROWD: Speech! Speech! Speech!

I don't know how this happened to me.

But, er, I guess I owe it all to clean living,

proper outlook, and the help of my friends.

BAND PLAYS: "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow"

What a wonderful day! What a wonderful picnic! I feel wonderful!

Uncle Thaddeus, let's dance. No! No!

Susan, your youthful exuberance is very tiring!

I'm going upstairs to take a bath.

Ah, life!

-You'd better rest. You're going to a dance tonight.

-Quite right.

But I'd like this day to never end. I'd like everything to stay suspended, beautiful.

You can leave everything suspended AFTER I sit down!

-I'll take it, Margaret.

-No, you'd better go up now.

-All right, sis.

DOOR CLOSES UPSTAIRS

-Er, what's wrong?

-Nothing's wrong.

Er, a very odd thing happened to me today, Uncle Matt.

It's simple to explain. Optical illusions have been known to, er...

Or the power of suggestion through Susan.

These things have been, well, er...

What happened was a combination of the heat, a hurried lunch and the excitement.

-Of course.

-I merely thought I saw...

-You understand?

-Oh, sure.

-However, it occurred to me that...

-Mr Nugent?

-He's been sweet about Susan. We ought not embarrass him longer.

-Yes.

Susan will get over her romance.

We owe it to Mr Nugent to... I'd like to talk this over with him.

-That's a...

-We can't have him here because, with Susan in the house, we couldn't talk freely.

-Naturally.

-I couldn't go to his apartment.

-Oh, no.

-So the obvious thing to do is arrange a meeting place -

something public, sophisticated and, er,

we can talk things over.

-Well...

-Thanks for talking to me. You've cleared things up.

I appreciate your confidence.

-Problems become so simple when you control your emotions.

-True.

Where's the telephone?

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hello?

..Yes. ..Oh. Anything wrong with Susan?

..Can't go, huh? Sorry to hear that. Will you tell her?

..Yeah.

..With you?!

I'd be delighted.

..Do you want me to come over? ..Oh, I see.

..You wouldn't want to come here? ..Oh, naturally.

..We can meet any place you say.

..Yeah, we'll celebrate my triumph.

..Well, er, no, I'm not too tired to dance.

Do you dance? I mean, er...

..Well, OK. Anything you say.

..Let's see. I know the head waiter at the Tick-Tock Club.

..Fine. Sure. OK.

-DOOR BUZZER

-Come in.

Oh.

-Hello.

-Hello, Nugent.

Come on in. Last time I saw you, you were underwater. You weren't hurt?

-I keep myself in excellent physical condition at all times. How do you feel?

-Splendid.

-To the victors the spoils.

-You made a good race of it.

-I don't like it there.

-Nugent, I want to let you off the hook.

Hold that. What hook?

Taking Susan out wasn't good for her, and it was a strain on Margaret.

-Which one of us are you most concerned about(?)

-If I had to, I'd choose Margaret.

-Who's your tailor?

-The coach furnished them to me.

-Oh, I had it there.

-Nugent, I've something very important to tell you.

I've decided to drop the charges.

-Let me see.

-I'm dropping the charges.

-Oh, dropped my medal! Help me look for it.

-Yes.

You won't have to come around any more.

Hey, you look silly in that coat.

Let's stick to the subject. You're a free man now. We may not see any more of each other.

-Found it. What?

-I say we may not see any more of each other.

You've put me in a position where I'm forced to make a confession.

-About Margaret?

-No.

About Susan. I'm madly in love with her.

-What?!

-I don't know how or why -

perhaps something she said, or how she looked, or something she wore.

I'm happy when I'm near her. I... Well, you're a man. You must have felt what I feel. It's love!

It's preposterous! She's only 17.

She'll be 18 soon. We'll wait for our chance - spring and autumn.

Stop it, Nugent! I forbid it!

No court of law can stop this. This is bigger than you and me.

As I thought, you're irresponsible.

L'amour, my friend! L'amour!

We'll see about "L'amour, my friend! l'amour!"

DOOR SHUTS

It's not the kind of wine we got before the war, but you'll like it.

It's the best we can get.

-Thank you, Alex.

-Is that the mademoiselle?

-No, no, no. Hey, that isn't...

-I'm awfully sorry.

ALEX SPEAKS RUSSIAN

-I'm sorry. The polish - the best we can get nowadays.

-It's all right.

-Oh, perhaps that's mademoiselle?

-No, no, no. I wish we had blue flowers. She'd like blue flowers.

-We can get blue flowers, but it'll take time.

-I'll try and fix these.

Huh?

Alex, that's the best you can get.

-Oh, er...

-Hello.

-Hello. Hello.

I didn't know. I should have checked. No black tie.

That's all right. That's a beautiful suit, and you look wonderful in it.

They're lovely. Thank you. Yellow's my favourite colour.

I thought so.

BAND: # ..Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday, dear Millicent

# Happy birthday to you. #

-Isn't that sweet?

-Hmm.

I can't say how glad I am we're here.

Our relationship's been so odd, I thought we should try a new background.

-Would you like to order now?

-Later.

-How about a drink in the meantime? Champagne?

-Yes.

-The time is now, Alex. Shall we dance?

-Love to.

-My father was a bachelor.

-Really?

Wait until... Wait, um... Wait until I finish.

He was a bachelor until into his 30s.

He always said he'd know who he'd marry the moment he met her. Then he met my mother.

He put his arm around her. The way she felt in his arms did the trick.

They were married three days later.

That's a very romantic story.

They were happy all their lives and had nothing in common.

-She was a piano teacher and he was a flag decorator.

-A what?

-Flag decorator -

a good one, until he fell off Newark City Hall.

Your family sounds like fun.

You must have come from a nice family. It shows in your face.

My family weren't that impulsive. My father courted my mother through high school, college and law school.

14 years after they met, they got married.

They had a lot in common - they were both attorneys.

You feel nice in MY arms.

I imagine that if Mother and Father hadn't had so much in common, they needn't have waited 14 years.

It could have happened suddenly - romantically.

Dicky!

-Oh, hello, Agnes.

-You didn't congratulate me.

-Should I?

-It's my birthday.

-Congratulations.

Nugent, what do you say we let bygones be bygones?

-Don't I know you?

-Yes.

-Where did I meet you? Dicky's apartment?

-No, you remember Judge Turner.

-Of course. Yes.

You got to be friends? Dicky knows all the angles.

-If it's too crowded, we could go to the table.

-It's too crowded.

-Happy birthday.

-Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

There's a guy who never goes out of a girl's mind. He just stays there, like a heavy meal.

What am I like?

Orange juice!

-I'm terribly sorry about that.

-I'm sure you didn't know she'd be here.

-Are you sure you're sure?

-Yes. Why?

-I just wondered.

-I've given up jumping at conclusions.

-Good.

-Hello, Dicky.

-Hello, Jolie.

-Cigarettes?

-No, thanks.

-All righty.

-Cute kid. I did a magazine cover of her.

-She's nice.

-This is absolutely forbidden!

-Susan!

-I do not intend to create a scene. You both ought to be ashamed.

-I'm too young for such treachery.

-What will you drink?

-Lemonade.

-Sit down.

-I'm not staying.

-And ice cream. How did I find out?

-What's going on in your mind?

You told me Dicky was sick - exhausted from the picnic.

I went to his apartment and they told me where he was. And here I am!

-I demand an explanation.

-Susan! You're being a little childish.

-Joey wants to buy you a birthday drink.

-Well...

-I owe it to you for being so nice.

-Just a few minutes.

-Garcon, this party's on me. Bring two chairs.

-Yes, sir.

-We've not been acquainted.

-Er, Susan Turner...

-Agnes and Joey.

-Is this your daughter?

-No, it's her sister - Margaret's sister.

-Enough room?

-Sure.

-You look like mother and daughter.

-We're sisters.

I hate my sister. BAND: # Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday, Mr Rosenheimer

# Happy birthday to you. #

I think birthdays are the best!

-We could get Mr Rosenheimer to come over here.

-I intend to wait here.

-Nobody said anything to you.

-Cute hat!

-I don't intend to take it off.

-I didn't ask you to. Bring another round.

Take these away. We're not going to eat anything.

-Hello, Jerry.

-No-one's glad to see ME.

-You weren't invited.

-Meet Agnes and Joey.

-I love kids with that floppy hair!

-Wondering how I got here?

-I am.

-It's getting to be quite a party.

-All is not gold that glitters.

-Just a minute.

Just a minute. I haven't got much time.

I wanted to see you because I got word I'm being drafted.

-I went to the house, then Mr Nugent's...

-We know the rest of it.

-I just wanted to say goodbye.

-It's not such a big thing. The war is over.

-But guns go off and a fellow could trip on a bayonet.

I know how you feel - missing your loved ones.

You're a good friend. Possibly Mr Nugent doesn't know HOW good.

-You can't tell me anything about Jerry.

-Maybe I could -

how he made sure you won that race this afternoon.

-AGNES: What race?

-This doesn't concern you.

-What?

-You shouldn't...

-A woman scorned is a fury!

-JOEY:

-What are you drinking? Egg nog.

Jerry...

Bring the boy an egg nog.

-Jerry, what did you...?

-Two eggs.

->

BAND: # Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday to you... # Oh, Joey!

# Happy birthday, dear Agnes... # Oh, thank you!

# Happy birthday to you. #

-Did you fix that race?

-Well...

-He did it because I love you.

-Stop this!

-Life's complicated.

-Too complicated.

-Good evening.

-Sit down.

-Wondering why I'm here? I went to your house...

You were suspicious she was with me, so you went to my apartment.

-You'd be a good detective!

-I don't like this guy.

I'm Chamberlain. How do you do? Get him - "How do you do?"!

-You know what you're doing?

-Yes.

-You're a regular Blackbeard!

-Bluebeard.

-A rose by any colour...

-Everybody's too excited.

-Nobody's excited. This man told me he's in love with Susan.

-Oh, Dicky, darling!

-I was only kidding.

-Don't kid Susan.

-Stay out of this.

-Let's have a drink, or some cake.

-I don't feel like eating.

-Chamberlain...

-This is too public a place for this discussion.

-You have my chair.

-There are others.

Tell me, do you love me or don't you?

You're cute, but I don't love you.

-She spent 4.50 to make sure you won that race.

-Too bad! Have the cup back!

-It was a frame-up?

-For the last time, I want my chair!

BAND: # Happy anniversary to you Happy anniversary to you

# Happy anniversary, Mr and Mrs Alderhall

-# Happy anniversary to you. #

-I just want my chair!

-Oh, stand up!

-Please, sit down.

-CRASH

-What happened?

-Always saying the wrong thing.

-Shall we fight it out?

-Calm down.

-I'm leaving.

-So am I.

-Wait a minute.

Everywhere you go, you attract trouble.

-You're jumping again.

-Shut up! Thanks for a lovely evening(!)

-Thank you(!)

I could make trouble for you.

-You're no regular guy!

-I hope this fixes your kettle of fish!

I came to buy you a birthday drink and you've ruined my birthday!

Joey got me a cake. You've ruined everything!

-Let him pay for the drinks!

-I'd punch you if I wasn't afraid to!

Oh, I'm awfully sorry, Mr Nugent.

Would there be anything else?

For instance?

Well, it's your move. It's been your move for several minutes.

I was a little concerned about Margaret and Susan.

They're old enough to take care of themselves. You just made a stupid move.

DOOR SLAMS

Susan?

Susan!

DOOR SLAMS Why does she do that?

-I should find out what's wrong.

-Your queen's in danger.

FOOTSTEPS

DOOR SLAMS

Margaret!

You and your psychology!

DOOR SLAMS I won't stand for this excitement!

-Your queen's still in danger.

-Oh.

DOOR SLAMS

-What's wrong?

-I must talk to Margaret.

-That's impossible!

-This is a conspiracy!

DOOR SLAMS

Do you intend to finish this game?

Now, Thaddeus...

-I've got to talk to Susan.

-Come back in the morning.

This is a fine way to treat a veteran!

DOOR SLAMS

Thaddeus! You're old enough to control yourself.

Oh!

DOOR SLAMS

-Margaret, I want to talk to you.

-Keep out of this!

If you're leaving home, you might take something more practical than a doll.

-I hate you!

-You can't mean that.

-My own sister stealing my love.

-That's not fair.

-The other woman!

-It's not like that.

-Why don't you send me to prison?

-Susan!

-I'll fight for my happiness.

Anyway, I saw him first!

I couldn't help overhearing. I had my ear to the door.

Uncle Matt, you told Susan to come to that nightclub.

Let's calm down. Susan, did I send you?

No. It was all my own idea.

-That's beside the point.

-You're both hysterical.

-THEY SHOUT

-Margaret, let me talk to Susan.

I have nothing to say. I will not make a statement of any kind.

Unpack those clothes and hang them up.

I'm strong enough to give you the spanking you deserve.

-You wouldn't dare.

-I won't spank you if you're sensible. Sit down.

Sit down! Your infatuation for Mr Nugent is childish.

You've been cruel and unfair to Mr Nugent, Margaret and Jerry.

-You're going to get sensible about the matter.

-I am!

You are?

You're going to listen to me and do just as I tell you.

KNOCKING

-Margaret?

-Come in, dear.

-I've had a long talk with Uncle Matt.

-Yes?

I see things more clearly.

Richard is too old for me.

When I'm 42, he'll be 60.

-Jerry will look handsome in uniform, don't you think?

-I think.

-I've decided to renounce Richard for Jerry.

-Very sensible.

Now you ought to patch things up with Richard.

I've acted very childishly and I'm sorry, really sorry.

If I had a million sisters, I'd want them all to be like you.

-You only say that because I'm clunklish.

-You're smart.

-Good night.

-Good night.

You know, in many ways, I think this has made a bigger woman of me.

I'm not interested in any more of your psychological mumbo jumbo.

You must look at this from the emotional point of view.

I deal in facts. The conclusions I draw from them are depressing.

You're in love with Richard Nugent.

Uncle Matt, I'm weary. I'll discuss this with you in the morning.

-Good night.

-Very well.

I thank you for one thing - straightening Susan out.

-It's perfectly all right. Good night.

-Good night.

-Hi.

-How did you get in here?

-I opened the door and came in.

-You can go right out.

-You and Margaret are in trouble.

-None of your business.

-Don't forget, I started this thing.

-I won't!

-Where are you going?

-Africa.

-Far away.

I'll be in Arabia first, which is pretty close.

-Get out of here. I've got things to do.

-All right.

You can't run away from yourself. You're in love with Margaret.

-Don't be ridiculous!

-Look at the facts.

-I'm an artist. I deal in emotions, which tell me to go.

-What do your emotions tell YOU? Fine.

-All right.

-I've got a plan.

-I've had enough of your plans and your family.

I was carefree before I met you. I've been in trouble ever since.

-Now buzz off!

-All right.

If you run into Professor Smedley, give him my regards.

He's a cousin of ours. ..Just a fifth cousin.

-Ah, beautiful morning! Simply beautiful! Isn't it?

-Yes.

-Wonderful weather for flying, isn't it?

-Yes.

It'll give you a chance to relax.

I think you'd better take me home.

That's ridiculous!

It's ridiculous that I'm packing up for four days, running away, because of a very silly man.

Let bygones be bygones.

If your paths should happen to cross, that's another thing.

-They'd better NOT cross.

-You do what I tell you.

-You haven't done so good lately.

-I talked you into taking a plane trip.

-You could talk the devil into going to church!

-Keys, please.

-Be right with you.

-I'll take care of the baggage.

-Baggage.

TANNOY: 'Attention please...'

- We can get you on the next flight. - All right. Thanks anyway.

-Judge Turner's reservation, please.

-Sir.

Please thank Mr Martin for arranging this.

-Beemish! Where's Margaret?

-I'm looking for her.

-You know she's leaving?

-Yes.

-It's Nugent's fault. If I see him, he'll get ten years.

-Take my advice...

-No. I should have locked him up. Where's Margaret?

-I don't know. She should be here.

-Watch that entrance. I'll keep watch here.

-Let me know when she arrives.

-Sure.

-So long. Thanks.

-Have fun. Stay out of jail.

-Here.

-Maybe I ought to have some second thoughts.

You just go away and have a good time.

I'm sorry I can't see you off. I have to get back.

Thanks, Uncle Matt. I don't know what for, but thanks.

-You're welcome. Happy landing.

-Bye.

TANNOY: 'Your attention, please. TWA flight 60 is ready for immediate departure...'

-I'm Dr Matthew Beemish, the City Psychiatrist.

-Glad to know you.

-I'm observing a patient.

-Who is he?

-The blond fellow with the brown hat.

-Oh, yeah.

-He's harmless, but might create a scene.

-What's his trouble?

-He thinks he's the Assistant District Attorney. He likes to arrest people.

-Poor guy.

You'd think he'd at least want to be a desk sergeant!

-I'll try to handle him, but I wanted you to know.

-I'll be around.

-You seen Margaret?

-No. I'll tell you a story.

-I don't wanna hear it.

-There's Nugent! Get him!

-Wait!

-No.

-You're sure you want to go through with this?

-It'll be a pleasure.

Officer, I want you to arrest someone.

- You don't want to arrest people. - What?

- Go on home. - I'm Assistant District Attorney.

- Sure! - Tell him.

-He is the Assistant DA.

-Nice!

- You blockhead! - Wait a moment.

- Trouble? - I'm the Assistant DA. - Sure! Relax.

We'll make you District Attorney. You'll be in charge.

-I'll report you to the Police Commission.

-I'll get a pencil.

I'm the Assistant DA! Leave me alone!

Margaret Turner.

-Nugent, Richard.

-Thank you, sir.

-You remind me of a man.

-What man?

-The man with the power.

-What power?

-The power of hoodoo.

-Hoodoo?

-You do.

-Do what?

-Remind me of a man.

-What man?

-With the power.

-What power?

-Give up?

-Give up. Let's go.