Hans Christian Andersen

DOG BARKS

DOG WHINES

Good morning, schoolmaster.

< SCHOOL BELL GETS FASTER

See the kite?

LAUGHTER OF CHILDREN

-Tell us a story.

-Yeah, tell us a story!

-Wait for me!

-Well, hurry up!

Walk faster.

Thank you.

Next time, don't be late.

Do you remember Latoda was the wicked mermaid, the Princess of the Frozen Seas?

-CHILDREN: Yes.

-Today, as I promised -

because we always keep promises, don't we? -

-today, as I said, will be the...

-CHILDREN: Queen of China!

Oh, did anyone remember to bring a dress for the Queen of China?

CHILDREN ARGUE

All right. Please. Please, ladies and gentlemen.

If we can't have a queen, we'll have a king.

We'll take the crown and put it on the side.

He was a very jaunty little king.

Now we'll just...

Ah-ah!

-No peeping.

-CHILDREN GROAN

There we are.

Long live the king.

Long live the king!

It's not a king. It's only a queen with a moustache.

Tom, you'd be surprised how many kings are queens with a moustache.

-But we know it's a king, don't we?

-CHILDREN: Yes.

As we have no clothes for him, this story is about a king who had no clothes

and a boy who only believed what he saw.

CHILDREN: That's you.

One day, two swindlers came to the king

to sell him what they said was a magic suit of clothes.

The king was very fond of new clothes so he said, "Let me see it."

But there wasn't any suit.

The swindlers held up their hands and said,

"This is a magic suit.

"And you being wise and intelligent can see how lovely it is.

"To a fool, it is absolutely invisible."

He said, "I see." Not wanting to appear a fool, he added,

"Yes, indeed. I see it perfectly.

"It's beautiful.

"Isn't it grand? Isn't it fine? Look at the cut and style and line."

# The suit of clothes is altogether, but altogether, it's altogether

# The most remarkable suit of clothes that I have ever seen

# These eyes of mine that once determined the sleeves are velvet, the cape is ermine

# The hose are blue and the doublet is a lovely shade of green

# A lovely shade of green

# Somebody sent for the queen. #

And the queen came and she was told

how all the wise people could see the...

-Magic suit!

-That's right.

Naturally, not wanting to appear a fool, she said,

"Oh! Isn't it grand? Isn't it rich? Look at the charm of every stitch."

# The suit of clothes is altogether, but altogether, it's altogether

# The most remarkable suit of clothes that I have ever seen

# These eyes of mine that once determined the sleeves are velvet, the cape is ermine

# The hose are blue and the doublet is a lovely shade of green

# A lovely shade of green

# He summoned the court to convene. #

All the court came and the ministers came.

-Not wanting to seem fools, they agreed with the...

-King and queen!

So the king issued a proclamation, as follows.

Ahem!

# The suit of clothes is altogether, but altogether, it's altogether

# The most remarkable suit of clothes a tailor ever made

# Now, quickly, put it altogether with gloves of leather and hat and feather

# It's altogether the thing to wear at Saturday's parade

# Saturday's parade!

# Leading the royal brigade. #

Well, by this time,

everyone had heard the king would be wearing new clothes on Saturday.

They lined the streets as the artillery came by,

and the infantry came by and the cavalry came by and the royal guard.

And finally, the king.

And everybody cheered, "Hooray!"

CHILDREN: Hooray!

Because nobody wanted to appear a fool.

Nobody, that is, except for one little boy

who hadn't heard about the king's new magic suit

and didn't know what he was supposed to see.

He took one look at the king, turned a little pale and said,

"Look at the king. Look at the king. The king, the king, the king!"

# The king is in the altogether, but altogether, the altogether

# He's altogether as naked as the day that he was born

# The king is in the altogether, but altogether, the altogether

# It's altogether the very least the king has ever worn

# Call the court physician! Call an intermission!

# His Majesty is wide open to ridicule and scorn

# The king is in the altogether, but altogether, the altogether

# He's altogether as naked as the day that he was born

# And it's altogether too chilly a morn! #

CHILDREN CHEER

< Hans!

-Hans!

-Hurry, Peter, we're going to hear a story.

-Hans, the schoolmaster went to the burgomaster...

-Peter, don't worry so much.

But, Hans, they're coming - the schoolmaster and burgomaster. Look!

Morning, burgomaster.

Look, burgomaster. The books on the dirty ground.

Here. The History Of Denmark,

used to tie the string of a kite.

The history of any country can stand some fresh air.

Did you hear of the history book that took a holiday? It came back a better history.

CHILDREN'S LAUGHTER IS SILENCED You see?

That's the stuff he fills their heads with. Look at this.

"Arithmetic. A two met a four one day.

"They liked each other, got married and the other numbers came to their wedding."

You see, burgomaster? It's impossible.

There are different ways to learn.

A cobbler belongs in his shop and children belong in school. Tend to your shoes!

To be sure.

But is the world made up of nothing else but shoes and school rooms?

There's a story of a piece of chalk and a blackboard.

For many years, the piece of chalk had written so many things

it began to believe it knew everything.

This made the blackboard angry because she felt

without her to write on, no-one would know anything - and she knew it all.

One day, quite by accident,

the schoolmaster broke the chalk and tossed it away.

It fell right beside a pencil the chalk had always admired.

Because a pencil to a piece of chalk is very special.

What do you suppose happened?

What happened?

What is this? >

Have we lost our senses, listening to his stories with the children?

That will be enough, Hans.

Children, pick up your books and go back to school.

Follow the schoolmaster. Not another word.

I advise you, Hans, to stay in your shop from now on.

Stop shaking your head like an old woman.

-I can feel it in the back of my neck.

-Hans, turn around.

-We've got to talk.

-Did you hear the story of the old woman

who shook her head at the family so much that it fell off?

-Hans, why do you keep on making trouble?

-Trouble?

There's no trouble a good story can't get us out of.

-But Hans...

-Like the one about the chalk and the blackboard.

I didn't know what I was going to say till after I said it.

-I'd like to know how the story ends, too.

-Please stay in the shop.

-Please don't tell stories all the time.

-I never saw such a worrier.

But I'll give you something to worry about.

Two years ago, I took you out of the orphanage

and promised them I'd make you into a good cobbler.

Look at that shoe. Glue all smeared and nails crooked.

Two years an apprentice and still the nails go in crooked.

I'm not really that bad, am I?

-You're not going to send me back to the orphanage?

-A-ha! A new worry.

Never mind, Peter, let's go home.

CHILDREN SING: # Two and two are four

# Four and four are eight

# Eight and eight are sixteen

# Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two

# Two and two are four

# Four and four are eight

# Eight and eight are sixteen

# Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two... #

Look, an inchworm. The first one of the year!

# ..Four and four are eight

# Eight and eight are sixteen

# Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two... #

-SINGS TO SAME TUNE:

-# Inchworm, inchworm

# Measuring the marigolds

# You and your arithmetic

# You'll probably go far

# Inchworm, inchworm

# Measuring the marigolds

# Seems to me you'd stop and see

# How beautiful they are

# Two and two are four

# Four and four are eight

# Eight and eight are sixteen

# Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two... #

SCHOOL BELL

HE SHAKES IT MORE VIGOROUSLY

Good morning, schoolmaster.

Oh, Hans.

-Let me explain.

-Out of my way!

That's what I want. Take your choice.

Either Hans Christian leaves the town or I do.

Now, surely, schoolmaster, a little story now and then...

It is not just now and then. It's every day.

He gives them excuses - the Snow Queen took me to the Mountain King!

-You think they make that up?

-That's true.

I asked my Gerda what time it was.

She said the minute and hour hands were not speaking.

They were both in love with the second hand

and wouldn't make up till they met at 12 so no-one could tell the time.

Say, I like that.

Like it?! We pay our taxes for the school, not for Hans' foolishness.

-MURMURS OF AGREEMENT

-His stories are good. The children learn from them.

I would like to go now, burgomaster, I'd like to pack up tonight,

because you either want a new cobbler or a new teacher.

MURMURING

Gentlemen...

It is decided.

-The cobbler must leave.

-But sir...

-Quiet! I'll tell Hans myself.

It will not be pleasant but it has to be done.

Perhaps it's for the best. Tell Hans to wait in the shop.

I'll talk to him before supper. Come, gentlemen.

-Hello, Hans.

-Hello, Peter.

-Was it nice by the river?

-Oh, just perfect.

Did we have any customers today?

Not one. Business gets slower and slower.

Why don't we go to a larger city where shoes wear out faster?

And be stuck in the shop all day? No, sir.

I like business to be slow. There's time enough for everything here.

That's what I mean. No shoes wear out, no-one leaves.

Not one person here has been to Copenhagen, have they?

That's true, but why should they?

-I never think about Copenhagen. Do you?

-Do I!

What do you suppose it's like?

It's a funny thing, now that you mention it.

I used to think about Copenhagen a lot.

I used to make up wonderful stories about going there.

I'd think about it a lot when I was your age.

My husband's shoes hurt and the left one doesn't fit.

That's not too bad, Mrs Berther.

You know,

I think shoes have a life of their own.

Those that squeak don't like to leave the shop.

-The ones that hurt don't like their owner.

-Please just fix the shoes.

I've got my own life to worry about. When Mr Berther's feet hurt, he drives us crazy.

Hans, tell me. What stories did you make up about Copenhagen?

Oh...

I used to dream about having the finest cobbler's shop in Copenhagen.

I wasn't just an ordinary cobbler. I saw people by appointment.

I looked at them before their shoes.

If I didn't like them, no shoes.

Do you know that people...

Where are you going? Don't you want to hear the rest?

-What have you got there?

-Your bag, Hans.

-My bag?!

-Why don't you go to Copenhagen now?

Are you crazy, Peter?

That was a story. Didn't you understand that?

Of course. But part of it must be like you imagined.

There may be great carriages with fine horses, beautiful houses.

-Yes, Peter...

-Don't you want to see it for yourself? It's not so far.

All you have to do is walk out of that door.

Quick! Before you change your mind.

Before I change my mind? Who said I was going?

Just like that, this afternoon?

What's got into you, Peter?

You forgot about Copenhagen. You may forget again until you're too old to go.

No, some day I'm really going to Copenhagen. That I do know.

Has anyone from this village gone to Copenhagen before? Of course not.

They say so but they put it off. Imagine, you'll be the first.

What a to-do there'll be tomorrow. They'll talk of it.

"Hans has gone to Copenhagen."

"Hans has gone to Copenhagen."

Yes!

What a sign it would make on the door.

"Hans Andersen gone to Copenhagen." With little shoes pointing the way.

We'll make the sign tonight. Imagine their faces.

I see it exactly as you do. Goodbye, Hans. Aren't you excited?

Excited? You mean I really should go?

Why not? It's only a few days away.

Stay a little while and then come back.

-You'll have been to Copenhagen.

-But it's a big step.

Still, what's to stop me?

My goodness, I am getting excited.

-Hans!

-If anyone had told me this morning that I'd decide to go to Copenhagen...

-Start walking, Hans.

-Imagine, Peter.

I've decided to go to Copenhagen. Just like that.

-Goodbye, Hans.

-Goodbye, Peter.

Goodbye, Peter.

Take care. I'll only be gone a few days.

-Tell the children goodbye.

-I will.

Imagine, Peter. Copenhagen.

Goodbye, Peter.

BIRD SONG

Hello. Ruff, ruff!

Oh, my goodness. My feet hurt.

I cannot understand why these shoes hurt me so.

I made them myself.

You're lucky. You don't have to wear shoes.

I can never understand why people always say "A dog's life."

Every dog I know seems to have a very nice life indeed.

You've no idea. Maybe it's just as good you don't...

Back in the village,

if people saw me talking to you like this,

do you know what would happen?

Every head would shake for a week. Yet how pleasant this is.

I can say anything I want to.

There's no sound but the wag of your tail.

People do the strangest things, too.

Oh, yes, my friend, even me. Myself included.

For instance, if you were to ask me

what I was doing on the road to Copenhagen,

I couldn't tell you.

I was trying to figure it out.

What Peter said, what I said.

Suddenly, I'm on the road to Copenhagen.

You know something else, my friend?

I'm a little bit frightened.

Copenhagen is a very big place.

Still, what can happen, huh?

People are nice.

That's the nice thing about the world, my friend. People.

So, what can happen?

I walk through the city gates up to the first person I meet and say,

"Hello. I'm Hans Christian Andersen."

I'll walk through the gates and say,

"I'm Hans Christian Andersen."

# I'm Hans Christian Andersen

# I've many a tale to tell

# And though I'm a cobbler I'd say I tell them rather well

# I'll mend your shoes and I'll fix your boots when I have a moment free

# When I'm not otherwise occupied

# As a purple duck or a mountainside or a quarter after three

# I'm Hans Christian Andersen, that's me... #

HANS WHISTLES THE TUNE

# I'm Hans Christian Andersen

# And this is an April day

# It's full of the magic I need to speed me on my way

# My pocket book has an empty look

# I limp on a lumpy shoe

# So I turn into a flying fish or a millionaire with a rocking chair and a dumpling in my stew

# I'm Hans Christian Andersen

# Andersen, that's who. #

< Hans!

< HANS!

Peter!

Peter, what are you doing here?

You've got the whole shop on wheels.

Copenhagen sounded so wonderful,

I thought you wouldn't come back for a while.

Maybe for a long while.

So I thought maybe you'd need the shop.

Sometimes you put ideas in my head that aren't there.

Me? Oh, no, Hans.

I'm not sure I shouldn't send you back right now.

-But Hans...

-Still,

as long as you've come this far...

HANS LAUGHS

# I sail up the Skagerrak

# And sail down the Kattegat

# Through the harbour and up to the cave

# And there she stands

# Waiting for me

# With a welcome so warm and so gay

# Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen

# Friendly old girl of a town

# 'Neath her tavern light

# On this merry night

# Let us clink

# And drink one down

# To wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen

# Salty old queen of the sea

# Once I sailed away

# But I'm home today

# Singing Copenhagen

# Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen for me. #

There she is.

# Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen

# Friendly old girl of a town

# 'Neath her tavern light

# On this merry night

# Let us clink and drink one down

# To wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen

# Salty old queen of the sea

# Once I sailed away

# But I'm home today

# Singing Copenhagen

# Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen for me. #

Copenhagen Weekly Gazette!

Get your Copenhagen Weekly Gazette!

Get the Copenhagen Weekly Gazette... BELL >

# Matches! Matches! >

# Matches! Please buy my matches

# Matches! Matches! #

Bric-a-brac! >

Bric-a-brac!

# Nice red roses

# Nice red roses. #

# Pots and pans, pots and pans. #

# Chimney sweep

# Sweep your chimney! #

# Bass! Bass! Buy bass!

# Nice fresh clams

# Fish!

# Fresh fish!

# Buy rhubarb! Rhubarb!

# Sausages, sausages!

# Sausages, sausages!

# Sausages, sausages!

# Rhubarb!

# Lemon flowers

# Butter and eggs here

# Cheese Butter and eggs here

-# Buy your bread from Bertha. #

-Can I have half a loaf?

Five schillings.

Hans, why don't we set up shop here?

Here? Well, what are we waiting for?

# I'm Hans Christian Andersen

# The pride of the cobbler's trade

# Permit me to show you a great discovery I've made

# A shoe goes squeak and a shoe goes squawk

# Squeakety-squawk all day

# And though you'd figure a shoe can't talk

# If you listen close to the squeak and squawk You can plainly hear it say

# Let Hans Christian Andersen fix me right away

# In Hans Christian Andersen, your feet have a loyal friend

# The sort of a doctor I'm sure your toes would recommend

# I work all night for shoes too tight to see where the pinch comes from

# I raise my hammer and shut one eye

# And I sometimes hit on the reason why and I sometimes hit my thumb...

-What's your name?

-# I'm Hans Christian Andersen. #

Thank you. You're under arrest.

-Under arrest?

-Disrespect for the king's statue. Get that boy.

Run, Peter!

-Do you want the new ballet ready?

-I do.

-Then do as I say.

Now, quick. You heard what she and I said.

-Niels, be sensible. I want the ballet...

-Fine, argue with me.

-I'm not arguing.

-I'll get a cobbler and you can teach the ballet.

Why is it so important to have a cobbler now?

Because your ballerina is so pig-headed, I must make an example of her.

Why do you always use that perfume?

-Sir...

-Go away!

-She won't get away with it.

-I know her far better than you do.

-You know her...

Otto, you're wasting time. The ballet is half-finished.

No cobbler, no ballet. I guarantee it, Otto.

-I know where to get a cobbler, sir.

-What's that?

I know where you can get a cobbler this very minute.

-Where?

-You'll have to use a little influence.

-Influence?

-With the police.

We should hurry, sir. I know where one is sitting right now.

Hello.

Hello.

-Hello!

-Hello.

Are you alone in there?

Well, er...in a way, yes.

Are you scared?

-Hmmm?

-Are you scared?

Scared? No.

Nobody's ever really alone. Did you know that?

I'm expecting company right now. Shall I introduce you?

Are you sure? Positive? Absolutely sure?

Don't go away.

-There.

-Oh!

Isn't she pretty? Her name is Thumbelina.

Say hello, Thumbelina. Now you say hello to her.

Hello.

Oh, she's very unhappy.

What's the matter?

Are you unhappy because you're so little?

That's nothing to make such a sad face about, is it? Here, come on.

# Though you're no bigger than my thumb

# Than my thumb

# Than my thumb

# Sweet Thumbelina, don't be glum

# Now, now, now

# Uh-uh-uh, come, come, come

# Thumbelina, Thumbelina, tiny little thing

# Thumbelina, dance, Thumbelina, sing

# Oh, Thumbelina, what's the difference if you're very small?

# When your heart is full of love, you're nine feet tall. #

She's still unhappy. What's the matter, Thumby?

Would you like a little playmate? You would?

There.

Say "How do you do?" How do you do? Want a kiss?

Maybe you'd like to dance?

You would? Here we go.

# Thumbelina, Thumbelina, tiny little thing

# Thumbelina, dance

# Thumbelina, sing

# Thumbelina, what's the difference if you're very small?

# When your heart is full of love, you're nine feet tall. #

Open up. >

-Hans!

-Peter!

-What are you doing here?

-You're a cobbler?

-Yes.

Hurry. You are in the custody of The Royal Danish Ballet.

-What am I in the custody of?

-Ssh! You're out. That's the main thing.

-They didn't treat you badly?

-No, Peter.

-Where's your coat?

-Here. Where are we going? Who is that?

-What are you standing there for?

-Come on, we've got our first job.

ORCHESTRAL MUSIC

Straight! Straight!

Straight! Straight!

Keep the line straight!

Up! Up!

Good! Good!

-This is the most...

-Ssh! It's the dress rehearsal.

MUSIC STOPS All right! All right!

We'll do it all again.

Ladies, the pirouettes were impossible.

Gentlemen, the lifts have to be high.

The ballerina's performance, I won't discuss - it would take hours.

We'll do the entire thing again.

Not with these shoes, darling. I told you before, remember?

Stop. Everything stop.

Is the cobbler here yet?

Here I am.

Come up here, cobbler.

Come on! Hurry up!

Cobbler, this...lady will explain what she wants you to do.

It's a trifle complicated. But then she's no ordinary dancer.

Of all the dancers in Denmark, only she can't follow my steps

without shoes that exist only in her mind.

She may enlighten you because we can't understand so great a ballerina(!)

We must only bow to her every wish.

Not quite low enough, my dear. Come, sir.

We can talk more quietly over there, I think.

Lunch, everybody!

CHATTERING

You've seen the ballet when I make a jete?

You know, when I jump.

I want to rise and remain motionless

as though I was on nothing but air.

It is impossible with these shoes.

But if you could put something in the tip of each one, I could do it.

In spite of that unkind man.

I would so love to show him it is not impossible.

It is possible, isn't it? Could you do it?

Er, yes.

Yes, I can do it.

I'll find something.

Something soft and silent.

-I can do it. You could seem to stand on air.

-You have it!

I can see you have the idea perfectly.

I shall be so grateful to you.

-There, can you do it now?

-Yes.

Quickly? It would be such a service.

I would be forever grateful. Thank you.

Louise! My slippers!

No, you come out this way. >

Hans!

You were a long time.

Have we got a job?

-What are you holding, Hans?

-Slippers.

Slippers? I never saw slippers like that before. Who wears them?

-The loveliest lady ever.

-Why does she wear these shoes?

She dances, Peter. No, she floats.

When she smiles, your heart skips a beat and melts.

She smiled and came close to me. She even touched me.

-Where's the barrow, Peter?

-Right over here.

I hid it in the theatre storeroom.

She wants shoes that will walk on air, Peter.

This afternoon. Well, she'll have them.

I wish she'd asked me something really impossible.

Doro,

are you hungry?

Do you love me?

Yes. Yes, even half-starved, I love you.

Come.

Here, sit down.

Here. A sip of this to put you in a better temper.

And look.

I asked Helga to make this specially for you today.

Was I cruel today?

Oh, you were.

You were indeed.

I was almost in tears.

Doro, I'm sorry.

Niels, don't be sorry.

It's just how it should be, don't you see that?

Professionally, we fight like two tigers.

But afterwards... That's what makes it so good afterwards.

-Isn't it good now?

-Oh, it's wonderful.

Why do I forget that the minute you start to dance?

Then I see only my enemy, the ballerina, before me.

Because the ballet is your life, as it is mine.

Don't you think I sometimes forget that you are my husband

and want to kill you for the things you say?

-You really want to kill me?

-Of course I do.

That's as it should be.

I would hate it any other way, wouldn't you?

Oh, yes, we are lucky.

And I do love you so.

I'm sorry about the shoes, darling.

I will behave beautifully this afternoon. You will see.

-Sorry?

-There was nothing wrong with them.

I just did that to torment you.

Oh, you did?

I know exactly how to torment you, don't I, darling?

And you look so wonderfully poetic when you are in a rage, my dear.

Never mind how I look.

So you just made that up about the shoes?

But you were being terrible.

You let everyone sit and twiddle their thumbs while you took revenge.

You forget what you said in front of the entire company.

No, I don't. I remember every word of it. I was right.

-You were?

-If you've done stuffing yourself, I'll say it again.

Because lunch is over and we're back in rehearsal.

You danced the waltz like an elephant in a snow drift.

-What did you say?

-I said,

you danced the waltz like an elephant in a snow drift!

No, like an elephant who fell and was trying to get up. You hear me?

How dare you! I slave to make each step you give me just right.

I take your foolish little dance steps and make them acceptable.

You don't slave hard enough, my girl.

-Pick your feet up to the music.

-You are not just cruel, but heartless.

You love to say cruel things to me. You want me to grovel at your feet.

-Maybe you'd see the steps clearer.

-How can I stand it?

-How do I bear it?

-Oh, you can cry harder than that.

I've heard you cry much harder.

That, my girl, is for thinking up those shoes.

On stage, everybody!

Let's see what you can think up for this afternoon's rehearsal.

You fixed the shoes?

-Did you see what he's doing to her?

-Of course.

Never interfere between a husband and wife. The best rule ever.

You mean she's married to him?

To that man?

Very much married. Outside, please.

No-one is allowed in the theatre during rehearsal. Another rule.

How much do we owe for the shoes?

How could you do that?

How could a girl like you marry a man like that? How can I help you?

Dance! Dance!

Dance!

Dance! Dance!

-DORO'S VOICE:

-Help me...

Help me.

Cobbler! Cobbler.

Cobbler.

Thank you. You left before I could thank you.

They were wonderful. I really floated on air.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Don't tell me what to do. >

They'll work tomorrow till they get it right.

I'll see them drop in their tracks.

Have my coat ready when I'm ready to leave.

Home.

What funny people they are.

First, they laugh and kiss. Then they scream and beat each other.

Kinda crazy.

What are you doing?

-Writing.

-A letter? To the children?

Say something from me to them.

It's not to the children.

Who are you writing to, Hans?

The ballerina.

Stop bothering me, Peter.

Why are you writing to the ballerina?

I heard him talk to her.

I saw him slap her face.

Hans, they're married.

I know that.

I heard them talking before you came in.

It was different.

Look, Peter, you're a child. You don't understand.

I saw him make her cry with my own eyes.

-But Hans...

-Don't bother me. I must finish this tonight.

HOWLING WIND

"The Little Mermaid, a story for Mademoiselle Doro.

"And so gradually,

"the little mermaid began to understand.

"She had sought love

"from the wrong man."

KNOCK ON DOOR

Come in.

I'm sorry, sir, but he insisted on seeing you.

Ssh! She's asleep. What's the trouble, doorman? Who's he?

Sir, this is addressed to Mademoiselle Doro.

I found this boy trying to take it.

It's a story and it IS addressed to her. Why were you trying to take it?

I wasn't trying to steal it.

-It's mine.

-Is it?

-Why is it addressed to my wife?

-What is all this?

It's mine! Please give it to me.

Now, who wrote this?

I did.

You did?

Suppose you tell me why you wrote this story to my wife?

It's nothing to do with you or her. It's just a story.

He made up a story. He's always making up stories.

Would you mind telling me who HE is?

We know very well you didn't write it so you can stop lying.

Now, who is he?

-A friend of mine.

-What's his name?

Hans...

-Christian Andersen, the cobbler.

-DORO LAUGHS

Darling, it's the cobbler.

The cobbler who fixed my shoes. He's written a story for a ballet.

-I don't believe it.

-Tell the cobbler I am delighted to have it.

What was his name? Hans? I'll read it carefully.

-THEY BOTH LAUGH The Little Mermaid!

-Stop it.

I find it quite touching.

I haven't said "Good morning" yet.

Good morning, darling.

Where have you been? I've lost it. I can't find it anyplace.

Help me look, will you, Peter? When I need you, you disappear.

I'll have to write it all over again.

-You don't have to write it again.

-Don't stand there. Look.

-You don't have to write it again.

-What?

She's got it.

What did you say?

She has it, Hans. Right now.

She has?

But how did she get it?

I was reading it and it blew out of my hands.

You took it?

But why?

Never mind that. Go on.

It blew into the window of the theatre and...

That's how she got it.

A wind took it to her.

It's an omen, Peter.

She's reading it now.

-Don't go over there.

-I must. I've got to talk to her. I can help her.

That there and this sofa. Let's get them on the wagon.

-What's going on here? What are you doing?

-The ballet's moving out.

Moving out?

Excuse me. Is it true the ballet's moving out?

That's right. Their regular yearly tour.

Where to? How long will they be gone?

THE CHILDREN LAUGH

QUACKING

Oh, there's the school bell.

Off to school ! Hurry up!

Off with you now! Another day, another story.

I don't want any trouble with the schoolmaster.

Hurry!

What's the matter? Are you unhappy?

Would you like me to tell you a special story?

You would?

Come on up here.

Come on.

I'm not going to hurt you.

Now, let me see.

# There once was an ugly duckling

# With feathers all stubby and brown

# And the other birds in so many words said

# Phht! Get out of town

# Phht! Get out

# Phht! Phht! Get out

# Phht! Phht! Get out of town

# And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack

# And a flurry of eiderdown. #

Do you want me to tell you the rest of the story?

All right.

# That poor little ugly duckling

# Went wandering far and near

# But at every place, they said to his face

# Now phht! Get out of here

# Phht! Get out

# Phht! Phht! Get out

# Phht! Phht! Get out of here

# And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack

# And a very unhappy tear

# All through the winter time

# He hid himself away

# Ashamed to show his face

# Afraid of what others might say

# All through the winter

# In his lonely clump of weed

# Till a flock of swans spied him there

# And very soon agreed

# You're a very fine swan indeed. #

"A swan? Me, a swan?"

"Oh, go on." He said, "Yes, you're a swan.

"Look in that lake and you'll see."

He looked and he saw and he said,

"I am a swan.

"Wheeee!"

# I'm not such an ugly duckling

# No feathers all stubby and brown

# For in fact these birds in so many words said

# The best in town

# Keek! The best

# Keek! Keek! The best

# Keek! Keek! The best in town

# Not a quack, not a quack, not a waddle or a quack

# But a glide and a whistle and a snowy-white back

# And a head so noble and high

# Say, who's an ugly duckling?

# Not I. #

HE WHISTLES TUNE

# Not I. #

So, Lars, it makes no difference if they make fun of you.

But it does. I want to play with them.

But they make fun of me because I was sick and had my head shaved.

Yes, but look what happened to the ugly duckling.

One day soon, you'll look in the mirror - sooner than you think -

and your hair will all be grown out

and you'll be like the ugly duckling.

You'll be better than any of them.

Are you sure, Hans?

Very sure.

-Now, you'd better run off to school. You're late now.

-Bye, Hans.

-Oh, cobbler.

-Yes?

-Are my shoes ready?

-Yes, I have them waiting.

-One mark, please.

-As much as that?

Yes, ma'am. They're practically new.

How beautiful.

What kind of shoes are they?

Ballet slippers. I made them myself.

How lovely they are.

Please, ma'am, they might soil. You understand.

-Who wears such lovely things?

-A lady who dances.

Her feet twinkle like little stars.

I assure you the slippers won't even be noticed, she's so beautiful.

Thank you.

Thank you. Please come again.

# Her arms were warm as they welcomed me

# Her eyes were fire bright

# And then I knew that my path must be

# Through the ever haunted night

# For anywhere I wander

# Anywhere I roam

# Till I'm in the arms of my darling again

# My heart will find no home

# Anywhere I wander

# Anywhere I roam

# Anywhere I wander

# Anywhere I roam. #

-You're Hans the cobbler?

-Yes, sir.

-I'm pleased to know you.

-How do you do?

-You've no idea why you're here?

-No, sir.

-I'm the father of the ugly duckling. Does that mean anything?

Oh! You're Lars' father, I see.

That story helped him over a bad time. I'm grateful.

When I made inquiries, I found you had a lot more stories.

The children are full of them. Do you ever write any of them?

-Oh, no, sir.

-I've a little surprise for you.

Give me a small sheet of paper.

Oh.

Thank you very much.

It's the finest present I've ever had.

I'm delighted. Lars will be, too.

Could I say something? You wouldn't mind?

Of course not. Say what you want.

Well, instead of Hans the cobbler,

could it say Hans Christian Andersen, like a real writer?

Certainly.

If you write some of those stories down,

as you tell them to the children, I'll print them and pay for them.

I can hardly believe it.

-When will it be in the paper?

-Tomorrow.

It'll say "Hans Christian Andersen" all day tomorrow.

-All day?

-All day.

-Well, goodbye, sir.

-Goodbye.

All day?

-Thank you, sir.

-Thank YOU.

The Ugly Duckling,

by Hans Christian Andersen.

# I'm Hans Christian Andersen

# That fortune has smiled upon

# Although I'm a duckling today, tomorrow I'm a swan

# A tale I told and it turned to gold

# As gold as a tale can be

# I laugh - ha-ha! - but I blush a bit

# For I realise, while I'm reading it, that it's also reading me

# By Hans Christian Andersen. #

I am a swan.

# I write myself a note each day and I place it in my hat

# The wind comes by, the hat blows high, but that's not the end of that

# For round and round the world it goes, it lands here right behind myself

# I pick it up and I read the note

# Which is merely to remind myself

# I'm Hans Christian Andersen

# Andersen... #

Peter!

# I'm Hans Christian Andersen

# I bring you a fable rare

# There once was a table who said

# How I'd love a chair

# And then and there came a sweet young chair

# All dressed in a bridal gown

# He said to her in a voice so true

# Now, I did not say I would marry you, but I would like to sit down

# I'm Hans Christian Andersen

# Andersen's in town. #

HE WHISTLES THE TUNE

"The Ugly Duckling by..."

-Hans, it can't be.

-You're looking at a real writer, Peter.

Tomorrow, the paper will say "Hans Christian Andersen" all day.

-Is that what the newspaper wanted?

-Yes.

They've printed one of your stories.

The way it happened is like a story in itself. Wait till you hear.

From now on, if anyone asks who you're working for,

you can say a writer, you're working for a real writer.

THEY BOTH LAUGH

The Ugly Duckling by Hans the cobbler.

-I can hardly believe it.

-Peter...

can you imagine the schoolmaster's face?

One day, a newspaper arrives from Copenhagen.

He looks and suddenly...

He can't believe his eyes.

"Hans Christian Andersen?" he says. "Hans the cobbler?

"A story by Hans Christian Andersen?

"A fine story." Have a bite.

-There's something on your hand.

-It must be from the printing machine.

Peter.

Look.

-"The Royal Danish Ballet returns from tour."

-She's back.

Peter, she's back! Oh, what a day! Everything is happening at once.

-She's back!

-We promised shoes for today.

I'll do it later. I couldn't sit still.

She's back, Peter! I've got to go. She's back.

ALL: Ah!

# Never before and never again

# Never before and never again

# No two people have ever been so in love

-# Been so in love

-# Been so in love

-# Been so in love

-# Been so in love

# It's incredible! No two people have ever been so in love

# Been so in love as my lovey-dove and I

# This is unique, the positive peak, we are the most unusual couple on earth

# No two people have ever mooned such a moon

-# Mooned such a moon

-# Juned such a June

-# Juned such a June

-# Spooned such a spoon

# What he means is that no two people have ever been so in tune

# Been so as my macaroon and I

-# And when we kiss

-# And when we kiss

-# And when we kiss

-# Well, fancy this

# It's hysterical, it's historical

-# Let me tell it

-# Well, certainly, darling

# No two people have ever been so in love

-# Been so in love

-# Been so in love

-# Been so in love

-# Been so in love

# It's impossible! No two people have ever been so in love

# Been so as my lovey-dove and I

# This is the cream, the very extreme, the sort of a dream you couldn't imagine

# Well, anyway, no two people have ever been so in love

# Been so as my lovey-dove and I

ALL: # No two people have ever been so in love

# Been so in love

# Been so in love

# No two people have ever been so in love

# As Mr and Mrs Hans Christian Andersen. #

-Mrs Andersen.

-Mr Andersen.

-Mrs Andersen.

-Mr Andersen...

Mr Andersen?

Mr Andersen.

Mr Andersen!

Oh, Mr Andersen.

Mr Andersen?

Mr Andersen!

How sweet of you to be here the moment we return!

How did you know we're doing your ballet?

Never mind. Your reward will come tomorrow when you see me dance it.

You'll come, won't you?

Perhaps you will have words for me by tomorrow night.

HE WHISTLES "The Ugly Duckling"

What would they say in the village?

You and me ready to go to the Opera House.

To see my ballet.

Would they believe it? No. "One of the cobbler's tales," they'd say.

"How can the children believe such things?"

But even I wouldn't make up this story. And it happens to be true.

Is it all right if I don't go?

-What?

-HANS WHISTLES

I said, is it all right if I don't go with you?

No, it's not all right if you don't go.

What's the matter with you anyway, Peter?

Something's wrong with you.

Come inside.

What's the matter, Peter?

Come on, out with it.

I've been trying to tell you something, Hans, all day.

All right, Peter, tell me now.

It's hard for me, Hans. I don't know how to say it.

Never mind. Just say it.

I tried... I tried once to tell you but you wouldn't listen.

When they went away,

I thought you'd forget about it.

-They?

-I don't like people who laugh at you, Hans. That hurts me.

Back in the village, when they made fun of you, I wanted to kill them.

Laugh at me? What are you talking about?

Her and him.

You don't understand them.

What don't I understand?

You're making up a story about them, like you do everything else.

It's about them, not clocks and flowers and stars.

-She'll laugh at you, Hans.

-So that's it.

I thought so.

Is she laughing at me when she does my ballet tonight?

Was she laughing at me yesterday when she kissed me?

-She kissed you?

-Yes, yes.

You didn't know that, did you?

I don't care. It's true.

I'm sorry you said that. You never lied to me before.

You don't have to come with me.

Maybe you'd better see if you can find work with someone else.

You're old enough now to be by yourself.

I think we'd better part company altogether because...

..because I don't think we like each other any more.

MEN ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

I beg your pardon.

No-one's allowed in before the performance.

I'm Hans Christian Andersen.

-The author of the ballet.

-Oh, good day.

Don't you read the posters outside your own theatre?

< Make the legs lower.

< Up! Down again. Around.

< That's it.

< Stay together. Together!

< Around.

Good, good. That's much better. Keep it up.

That's it. Go around. Come around this way.

Who are you? Oh, get out of here at once.

Don't deliver any shoes before a show. Leave it with the doorman.

-Try the Arabesque again - together.

-The name is Hans Christian Andersen.

Andersen! Why, the ballet writer!

-I'd like to deliver these shoes to Doro before the show.

-Please go...

-Will you move the big shell upstage?

-Yes, sir.

Go out front and watch your ballet. We're all busy. I'll give her...

-Don't touch them.

-You can't see her now. No-one sees her before an opening.

-Show us where you want the shell. >

-In a minute, in a minute!

Just move it on stage.

Will you escort Mr Andersen to the stage door - quietly but firmly?

But I have these...

If you please. I'd like to leave alone.

THE DANCERS CHATTER EXCITEDLY

Not you again! This is no time to bother anyone.

I have an idea Doro would not agree with you.

Why am I playing with authors on opening nights?

-Overture in three minutes.

-Did you hear? In three minutes, we begin.

Ladies, take your places.

Open that door! Let me out of here!

< BURST OF APPLAUSE

< MUSIC BEGINS

'I can see it.'

'I don't have to see it with my eyes.'

'I can see it all.'

THUNDERCLAP

FINAL CRESCENDO AND APPLAUSE

< Come in.

-Good morning, madam.

-Good morning, Celine.

-Not a very nice day.

-It looks lovely to me.

How good it feels to be back in my own room. It seems years.

That it does. And what a wonderful success last night.

-I can't remember the audience being so excited.

-It was the new ballet.

It is enchanting. I love to dance it.

-What a curious fellow he is. He never turned up at all.

-Who, madam?

Hans the cobbler.

You know, I wonder if he was even there.

Do you suppose he was there and was too shy...?

-Good heavens!

-I thought you were fast asleep.

-It's the cobbler. He's still in the prop room.

-What are you saying?

I locked him up just before the performance.

I had to. He insisted on giving you some shoes five minutes before the ballet.

-And he never saw the ballet?

-I forgot.

-You big fool!

-I had other things to think about just then.

Quickly, Celine! Go to the theatre. Run and bring him here.

Oh, that poor, dear man.

And you, you monster!

You stay under there. Try popping your head out and see what you get!

The lamp over it, I promise!

Oh! Ha-ha!

Oh, Hans. I am going to call you Hans now.

-What a thing to have happened. Are you all right?

-Yes.

Just like him to have done such a thing.

Here, sit down.

-Would you like a cup of chocolate?

-No, thank you.

And you missing the ballet.

We do it again two nights from now and you'll see it then.

-But I did see the ballet.

-How? I thought you were...

I was. But I could hear the music.

And I knew the story. I didn't have to see you dance with my eyes.

Oh, Hans, how very dear you are.

And how I love to dance it.

I don't know quite why. It's very strange.

Even when we rehearsed it, I felt something sad and tender.

I don't know why.

-I know why.

-You do?

-Mm-hmm.

-Tell me.

I think it was your answer.

My answer?

I let my heart speak to you with the story and...

..last night, you answered me with yours.

Hans, tell me something.

How did you come to write that story for me?

I wanted to show how I felt. I knew how miserable you were with him.

Miserable?

-With my husband?

-I don't think you knew I was there.

I saw the way he treated you. I saw him slap you.

I heard you cry.

Oh, Hans.

How else could a cobbler speak to you?

< It's arrived!

It's here. Good morning, Andersen.

Your present, angel. Sorry for last night. Forgive me.

I was thinking of your ballet. You told him what a success it was?

For a great lady of the ballet.

Open it, my darling. Don't you want to see it?

We shall be poor for a year but I had to get it.

The best part's on the other side. Turn it over.

Read it aloud. I'm not a poet like Andersen.

But even a fool like me can speak of love.

Are you pleased, my darling?

Read it for me.

-Not now, Niels, later.

-You're not shy suddenly?

Never mind. Do anything you wish. She danced like an angel, Andersen.

I could cover you with kisses.

Please don't, Niels.

Haven't you forgiven me? Andersen has. She was furious at me.

But no harm has been done. It's even amusing.

Oh, don't look so stern, my dear.

You were laughing about it yourself. Don't say I didn't hear you. I did.

-Even under the covers.

-Be quiet.

What's the matter, Doro?

Hans...

it doesn't matter why you wrote the story for me.

It's a beautiful story, for whatever reason.

It's a lovely and tender story by itself.

But I shall remember what you told me every time I dance it.

Andersen, we haven't paid you for it.

-Do be quiet.

-But we want to pay him. We want you to write some more.

Have you other stories we can use?

No, I'm afraid that one was just an accident.

I don't think I'll be writing any more.

I guess it's all right to deliver these now. Shoes from the cobbler.

Thank you, Hans.

-But Andersen...

-Niels, let him go.

Goodbye, Hans.

Doro...

Doro, what is it, my darling?

Peter.

Peter.

Peter!

Peter!

Hello, Peter.

Do you mind if I walk with you?

I can't help it. We both seem to be going in the same direction

and there's only one road.

You're going back to the village?

I'm going back to the village, too.

Bread and butter. Do you know something?

I'm never telling another story. Not for the children or myself.

I've told my last story, Peter. Especially of myself.

Cobbler, stick to your last.

If any man learned his lesson good, it's me.

-I think you'll go on telling stories, Hans.

-No, I won't.

-Oh, yes, you will.

-Why do you keep on saying that?

Why? Because you're Hans Christian Andersen.

That's why.

Peter!

'You'll tell stories. You'll write stories.'

'You'll even sing stories.'

'Over and over and over.'

CHILDREN: Wheee!

# I'm not such an ugly duckling

# No feathers all stubby and brown

# For in fact these birds in so many words said

# Keek! The best in town

# Keek! The best

-# Keek! Keek! The best... #

-Hans, tell us about Copenhagen!

# Oh, wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen

# Friendly old girl of a town

# 'Neath her tavern light

# On this merry night

# Let us clink and drink one down... #

Wait for me, Hans!

# To wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen... #

Tell us about the king.

CHILDREN: Oh, yes, the king!

# The king is in the altogether, but altogether, the altogether

# He's altogether as naked as the day that he was born

# The king is in the altogether, but altogether, the altogether

# It's altogether the very least the king has ever worn

CHILDREN: # Call the court physician! Call an intermission! #

Hans, my favourite, huh?

Thumbelina!

CHILDREN: Yeah!

-# Though you're no bigger than my thumb

-# Than my thumb

-# Than my thumb

-# Than my thumb

-# Than my thumb

-# Than my thumb

# Sweet Thumbelina, don't be glum

-# Don't be glum

-# Now, now, now

-# Ah-ah-ah, come, come, come...

-Everybody!

# Oh, Thumbelina, Thumbelina, tiny little thing

# Thumbelina dance

# Thumbelina sing

# Oh, Thumbelina, what's the difference if you're very small?

# When your heart is full of love, you're nine feet tall. #

# Hans Christian Andersen! #

Subtitles BBC Subtitling - 1999