Lucky Them

This film contains strong language

'I knew Matthew Smith for 15 years before the night of his final show.

'Everyone remembers his talent and face,

'but the Matthew I knew was strange, funny

and unbearably insecure.

'Matthew didn't show up for that show ten years ago...

'or any other show after that.

'He left us all behind.

'He left me, his girlfriend, speeding off into the night,

'completely and utterly totalled.'

CHATTER

# Sitting on the floor in your bedroom

# Spinning Bowie around... #

-Hey, El?

-I'm fucking freezing.

Yeah, I was that...that maybe we shouldn't do this anymore.

You're breaking up with me?

Well, you know, breaking up would imply that we were actually going out, I guess.

We have been going out for three months.

No, you've been coming over to my apartment after shows

for three months...you know, which is awesome.

-I like having sex with you, but...

-Oh, wow.

..to date, I suppose one would go out on dates.

That's what I'm saying.

It's just I like you and it's not that you're older.

At this point in my life,

it's just like I want something more than just, like, casual sex

and...and it doesn't seem like you do. Now I sound like a dick.

-What I'm saying is that...

-Yeah, you sound like a dick.

OK, you're leaving. Hey, look, let's, like, still be

friends and just don't slam the...

# Even though I know that I've done wrong

# Oh, it still weighs a tonne

# A safe-haven child cryin' mother

# Try to keep it together, oh, yeah

# Now, everybody wakes up and holds on

# But I'm just not like them, no, no

# Starin' at her eyes cos I need them

# No, but they can't see my pain, no

# Seizure comin' like a rush of blood

# Pressure breaks and you start to black out

# Wake up cos you're mad inside

# No-one else sees a blackout

# No, like you do yeah, yeah... #

# So what you want with me?

# Oh, please just let me be

# Just leave me simply singin'

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# Oh, my God

# Here we go again... #

SHE SIGHS

# There's a hole in my head so all the light can shine in... #

-PHONE BEEPS

-'Hi, darling.

'Just Doris calling to remind

'you that the rent was due yesterday.

'I'm sure it's in the mail. OK. Bye-bye.'

'Miss Ellie, it's your boss. I need to talk to you, dear.'

Kurt, where's Courtney?

Or, Courtney, where's Kurt?

# I, I, I, I... #

Oh!

# Do you know what I mean? #

SHE SIGHS

I would love to have him shoot the cover, but, you know...

Miss Ellie's here. I got to go. I need to talk to you.

All right, well, you know, keep up the good work.

I want to feature this guy.

Yeah. Who is it?

-Lucas Stone.

-Why do you got to keep on featuring all these nobodies?

You know, I thought Stax was all about, you know,

discovering new talent. Isn't that why you hired me?

I probably said that when Stax was still a beloved,

Neolithic music magazine.

-Things change.

-Mm-hmm.

-No.

-I've been surveying the territory and,

from where I'm sitting, things are looking pretty bleak.

Well, I think you're underestimating our readers.

You clearly have not been attending the same shareholders

meetings that I have. Thank God.

Honey, I need you to go after a bigger piece of the readership.

You used to be my go-to gal.

Your last story...got like two comments...

One of them was spam.

Apparently, that means the world wide web finds your

current sensibility neither controversial or...

I don't know...interesting.

Matthew Smith.

Last month's anniversary issue,

every artist we polled called this one of the top-five most

influential records.

-Yeah, I'm-I'm aware of that.

-Well, I think it justifies a story.

"Matthew Smith - The Lasting Impact."

-Giles...

-You discovered him. You broke him, for Christ's sake.

I know that there was a personal element,

but for God's sake, it was ten years ago.

You got to have enough distance by now.

-He's probably dead.

-He's not dead. He's just an asshole who's gone.

Even better.

"Matthew Smith - The Truth Behind The Mystery."

You are in a unique position to do this.

You're sitting on a huge fucking story.

The professional side of you has got to understand that.

I am not sitting on a story, OK? I'm just not...picking at a scab.

OK, well, I cannot have you ignore what's happening here anymore.

We got to put a shock through the system

and everybody's got to do their part.

Don't make me do this.

You have to reclaim your place at this magazine.

-I mean, I do not get paid enough to go there again.

-Right.

-I don't want to relive this.

-So quit.

Mm. I can't quit my job - it's all I've got.

So write it.

-Are there any other choices?

-No.

-Excuse me?

-Do you want another?

Doesn't part of you want to know what happened?

I'm trying to think what I'd do if Angela just...

I mean, I couldn't handle it. I'd have to know.

Well, how about this idea? Let's not talk about it anymore.

Oh, now you're heading out?

Yeah. I've got a singer to interview.

Well, hey, um, don't sleep with him.

I'm a professional.

OK. There's a name for that.

SHE SIGHS

# Well, she always wears blue jeans

# She falls heavy like a freight train going down, spittin' grease

# And it's just like... #

Oola neat.

# What my father told me

# He said, "Son, never trust a woman who drinks whisky neat

# She might kiss you

# But she'll never miss you

# These rock and roll girls... #

-Ellie, right?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Hey.

Hey. You're the guy from the other night.

Yes, the business card instead of a buck.

Ah... I'm not always so cheap.

Pull up a pew.

OK, so, this is weird. This is, like, my first real interview.

-Are you really as naive as you seem?

-I don't know. Am I?

Let's find out.

-OK, do you mind if I...?

-Yes, please. OK. Record away.

This is all very professional.

Hello.

So... When did you start writing music?

-This morning.

-BOTH LAUGH

SHE IMITATES TRUMPET PLAYING

See? Nobody... I have never met anyone who can do that.

Me either.

Uh, so, performing on the street, I mean, who does that anymore?

Who does that? People do that. I do that.

-You do do that.

-I don't know. I love to play, you know?

-Mm.

And... I'm really broke, so, uh, the money helps.

But, uh, you know, business cards are also welcome.

-Oh.

-Thanks for that.

-Just...

-You're welcome.

-..hard to pay for the rent on business cards.

-Hmm.

Hard to pay for groceries with it.

Oh, no, no.

-Oh, God.

-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

-You just...

-This cannot happen.

I'm...drunk and I am leaving.

# There but for the grace of God go I

# There but for the grace of God go I

# Oh, no money in his pocket

# And no hope in his eyes

# Oh, but who am I

# But

# But for the grace of God?

# And there are those who when they pray... #

PHONE RINGS

Jesus Christ.

Were you asleep?

-It's 3:00 in the morning.

-SHE LAUGHS

I remember a guy that used to say the party was just getting

started at 3am.

-May I help you?

-Well, I've decided to do the Matthew piece.

No. I decided that you do the Matthew piece.

OK, well, I'm agreeing to it.

I am just so overwhelmed.

Fucking nut-job.

SHE SIGHS

Matthew, man, he was intense, but in a fucking sexy way.

I mean, we broke up three times, but we always got back together.

I mean, he had his shit, he had his demons, but he...

And he was talented, as everybody knows,

but there is no way... There is no way that he would have jumped.

Matthew...he was scared of heights... Is... Is scared of heights.

Who was scared of heights?

Oh, this musician who's been lost for years and years,

-and years and years.

-Really? Lost? Huh.

Charlie.

Ellie.

-Ellie Klug.

-OK.

It is good to see you. Oh...

Coming in for an obligatory hug.

The timing wasn't right when we dated.

I was emotionally unavailable.

Oh, yeah, that's... That's probably it.

I do think that your lack of open-mindedness affected your

judgment of me. I'm much cooler now.

Hmm-hmm.

Miss, could I get a clean glass, a bottle of water and a whole lime?

No.

Is she a friend of yours?

She's closing up. We're going to a gig.

A gig? Huh. A gig.

-What kind of gig?

-Er, a music show.

-A music gig.

Nah, that's not my scene.

Good.

What style of music is it?

Alternative rock.

Hmm. Alt rock.

You may call it that if you wish.

-OK.

-"OK" what?

I'll tag along.

# Even if it was a mistake

# I can't forget your face

# Even if it was just a day

# You won't forget the one who's making you shake... #

Charlie, what do you do?

I'm retired but, until recently, I was in the jewellery business.

Really?

Yeah, we had pieces crafted from Mexican pesos, bits of

Caribbean currency, seashells.

Sold that online.

I got tired of it, so I dumped the business last year.

Before that, I had a software company and made about

300 million on an IPA, so I can pay the rent.

-Yeah, but you were rich before that, right?

-It's true.

I come from one of the oldest families in north America

but, truth be told, we lost our fortune in the panic of 1907.

1907.

Anyway...lately, I've been taking some documentary-filmmaking

classes and I love it.

I really think it's what I'm meant to do in this world, I do.

-What do you do again, Ellie?

-I'm a music critic.

Ugh! That would be the worst job for me.

I hate music.

All music you hate.

Is Bear a catholic? I mean, really.

I think he might be.

-I mean, you like music?

-OK, well, I'm beat.

I am so exhausted.

Uh... It was really great seeing

-you, Charlie, but we...

-OK.

-...Dana...

-Do we?

-Yeah.

You know what? Maybe we could get lunch sometime.

I haven't seen you in five years and...

it could be nice to see you again.

-Uh, I say...

-Yes!

-I should be clear about one thing.

Uh, I'm off dating, so...

Great. That takes the pressure off of me to do all the work in bed.

Do you want to...? You want to...? Or do you want to write it?

You know what? I'll get it.

There's a crispness to my writing that I enjoy.

"Ellie...Klug."

Goodnight, girls.

So...the design on this site is so...

-..just sad.

-There was a time, my little friend,

when it was actually difficult to build a website.

What are you finding?

There's a message board where people post sightings.

All these people claim to have seen him?

Claim to, yes. Here's one for you this year.

Is there an e-mail?

It does not look like it, but we can comment on his post.

Send him my e-mail, ask for more info.

-No, no, no.

-Wait, wait. Don't.

Yeah, do, do.

Ellie?

-I meant to call you.

-Yeah?

I... I just... I-I couldn't write the feature.

Couldn't-couldn't write it this month? What do you mean?

-It just felt wrong...somehow.

-Felt wrong?

What are you...? What are you saying? You're not gonna write it?

-OK. Is this because we kissed?

-Whoop!

Uh, could you answer that, please?

Ellie Klug's desk.

Wow. Well, that sucks.

It's Giles.

-Hey, can I call you back?

-What's up? How's the story going?

Well, I can't do it if you keep talking to me, can I?

-OK. I didn't know you had a son.

-Ha-ha! Very funny.

-Back to work.

I don't even get, like, a blurb?

I don't even get, like, a little side blurb, like, the blurb

-underneath the blurb?

-What do you want me to do?

-I don't know. Apologise, maybe.

-OK. OK.

I'm sorry. I really am sorry.

Well, apology accepted...hesitantly.

Do you want to go out sometime?

Hey, look, if you're not gonna write the story, we might as well, right?

-What? No.

-Yeah.

Listen, whatever you think is gonna happen...

-Yeah?

-...is not gonna happen.

No? So, you're gonna crush my dreams and then you're not gonna give me a date?

-Oh, you seem fine to me.

-I'm not fine.

-WHISPERS:

-I'm broken.

So... Who's...? Who's the looker?

That is not intern-level intel...

Sir.

INAUDIBLE SPEECH

He says that's Matthew.

Could be anybody.

He's in Washington, I hope - or at a guess.

-He wants 1,000 bucks.

-Oh, I know. I know.

I know we don't do that, so...

-Don't do what?

-Pay for sources.

Pay for sources? What are we? The National Enquirer?

We don't pay for sources.

I can't believe you'd actually make...

that kind of suggestion.

I could get fired.

Uh...he wants cash.

# Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah

# Oh, yeah

# Hey, there she goes the girl who don't wanna talk to me

# But that's OK

# Just gonna annoy you till you make out with me

# Yeah, till you make out with me

# You know you want to

# Just make out with me, baby

# Just make out with me-e-e. #

So, listen, I've been doing a lot of serious thinking and,

all joking aside, I-I think

I'm willing to give you a second chance.

Clearly, all those years of playing music have left you with

-a serious hearing problem.

-Come on. What is it?

Is it me? Is it my music?

Is my face funny-looking? I mean, what? Give me something.

Nope. Yeah. I don't know.

"No, yes, I don't know." What? I didn't get any of that.

Musicians, I mean, men...

Toxic to me, and you're both, so it's...it's...it's not personal.

"It's not personal."

How can you say that's not personal?

Hey.

-I need your help.

-Shoot.

I need you to come with me tomorrow morning

to interview this guy who says he knows where Matthew is.

I can't. I got groundwater thing.

Oh, come on. Don't make me go alone.

And Angela's finally going with me and you know she hates my "causes".

-Hello? Excuse me.

-Yes, I see you. Yeah.

Oh, no!

No, no, no, no, no. Fuck!

Shit! SHE SIGHS

-I promise it's gonna be fine.

-No, I am gonna get fired

-or...fucking sued or both.

-Giles isn't gonna do that to you.

He already basically said that I'm irrelevant.

Ellie, please call and get it over with.

-Oh, yes, and in, other news...

-Who's Lucius?

-It's... Can you read? It's Lucas.

-Lucas. I'm sorry.

It's the singer that I didn't do the story on.

He keeps...and I keep...

Well, what'd he say? Did you listen to it?

Should you listen to it?

Well, then delete it because you know how it plays out.

-What about that guy?

-What guy?

The rich guy from the...the fundraiser at the bar.

-Oh, God. Charlie?

-Yeah, he likes you and he's got money,

-and...and he can help you.

-No. No way. No... No way.

-I am not doing that.

-Well, you should.

I have some pride.

-So, you think he's still alive.

-Yeah, I do.

-He just ditched you?

-Well, I mean, not ditched, but...

And then disappeared, never to be heard from again?

Yeah, except maybe for this

-guy who says he saw him in a bar a few months ago.

-Wow.

This is really interesting to me.

OK. I'll give you the money to find that guy.

-You will? Oh, really?

-Mm-hmm.

But it's conditional. OK?

Lately, I've been taking some

documentary-filmmaking courses at a local junior college.

I've been looking for something that really speaks to me.

Speaks to me...right here.

OK, so you want to do a story about Matthew.

No. I want to do a documentary about YOU trying to find Matthew.

SHE LAUGHS No, no, no.

I don't want to be in your documentary.

And I don't want to just give you 1,000.

-What do you think?

-Jesus. What's this?

What the hell is this?

Well, anyone who makes movies has one of these, so this one is ours.

-You bought this?

-I did.

They just delivered it.

What do you think?

-Uh...

-Permission to board granted, my lady.

You know how to drive, right?

What are you doing?

Interviewing you.

-What? Now?

-Why not?

It's for the documentary.

Because I'm basically driving a submarine on wheels and I'm

not exactly a strong driver, so...

Well, let me just tell you,

you are piloting this submarine on wheels brilliantly.

Interview one, take one.

Ellie Klug.

And...action.

OK.

Uh... So... So, Matthew Smith's music is unique in that it was a

-blend of...

-Cut! What is that?

That's, uh... I mean, I don't really care about that.

Is that, like, music criticism or something?

-Yeah, that's what I do.

-Right.

Well, I don't care about that

and I'm fairly certain that anybody that views this

documentary won't care, either.

You know what? I think I'm just gonna focus on the road here...

-if that's OK with you.

-OK. Hostile interview. Cut.

You know what?

I'm just gonna get some...various shots of the landscape.

You know, we call it "B roll" in...filmmaking.

It's for editing.

You're not gonna understand it. It's over your head.

This better be the right way.

-How are you feeling?

-Uh...anxious.

You know, it'd be good for me and the documentary film that we're

shooting if you could expound on your feelings and whatnot.

I don't want to expound on it, OK? I'm anxious.

It's been a long time.

OK. There he is. That's him.

-That...that's Matthew?

-What? No.

-Hey.

-Hi.

-Joshua?

-Yes.

You...you guys want to have a seat?

No. I'd invite you in, but...the place is kind of a mess.

So, that-that-that video you sent, where was that recorded?

Yeah. Um... Can I ask...? Did...did you bring the money?

I'm sorry to ask up front like this.

It's just I've been burned before, you know?

So I thought if we'd just get this out of the way, then we'll be more comfortable.

Sure. Uh, well, actually, maybe I can give you, uh, half

now and then half when your information leads to Matthew.

-OK, yeah. Sounds fair.

-OK.

Great. Thanks.

So, I mean, what was it about

-this guy that made you think it was Matthew?

-Hang on a second.

-Hang on.

-Wh...? What's this about?

Oh, we're making a documentary about this.

-Great.

-Rolling.

Let me... Let me tidy up the scene for you.

So...you said you knew where...where Matthew was?

Oh, yeah.

-He... he lives close by.

-Where is he, exactly?

Uh...do you want me to just go get him?

You know what? I'll... I'll go get him.

Just stay put. He lives like ten minutes away, ten minutes' walk.

Uh, so I'll just grab him and come right back.

-Should we come with you?

-Uh, no.

Well, he doesn't know I'm coming, so I'll just grab him.

We'll be right back. Just, uh, hang tight.

Just make...make yourself at home. Be right back.

We trust you...sir!

PHONE RINGS

Oh, great. Lucas.

-Is it all the way out?

-Yes.

Does it look cool?

There's so many switches in here, it's like a spaceship.

Are you kidding me?

CAR APPROACHES

Charlie?

What's going on here?

Uh, we're just... We're just waiting for Joshua to come back.

-Joshua?

-The guy that lives in that trailer.

-Nope.

-He was just here.

Don't no-one live in that trailer cos I know who live in my trailer.

-It sure looked like he lived in there.

-This is your trailer?

-I'm gonna need you off my property.

-OK.

-Well...

-Yep. Yep. Yep. We're out of here.

Have a great night.

Maybe we should call the police.

What are they gonna do,

apart from arrest me for being completely...naive and stupid?

Well, the good news is you can take your time paying me back.

Of course, I'll have to charge you interest.

Please tell me you're joking.

-Charlie?

-Yes, I'm joking.

But we're not going to quit, OK?

This is nowhere near the end of it.

Uh...this is a complete and utter dead end.

We have the video.

The video is just some stupid bait.

You can't even see who's really playing.

-Come on.

-Listen to me.

You have an obligation to your story, to your magazine and,

most importantly, to me to complete a documentary film

that we set out to make.

And I don't have enough footage, OK?

I have like three minutes and most of it

is him running away up that hill.

Well, I... I am not an investigative reporter.

I am a music critic.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing, so...

Then let's find someone who does.

This is a note he... He left me.

-This is the last communication he had with you?

-Yes.

"Babe, well, it's been a run,

"honey, a real run, a sprint at times.

"Does this got to be? Yeah, for me, and I say for you.

"I'm in a dark place. You know, what comes up must come down.

"I know you understand.

"Matthew."

-What do you think?

-What is he talking about?

I don't know. It's just... It's him.

-But he says, "I know you understand."

-Well, I don't.

I don't think it's useful.

-Don't you want to analyse it or something?

-Why?

I don't know. Just, like, figure out where the paper was manufactured or

analyse his handwriting. I don't know.

-What? Do you think it's not his handwriting?

-No. It is.

You know what? We have a video.

It's crude, but it's a documentation of sorts.

OK, yeah. OK, I have this video of him singing.

Well, it sounds like him.

Maybe you can take a look at it.

Like, isolate the voice or something.

I-I think you have some wrong expectations about what I do.

I follow people...

Living people.

-Would you like this back?

-You don't need it?

-No.

You know, I think maybe I should take on your case.

You can't take on the case because you're not a private detective, Charlie.

We need to go back to the beginning, back to the scene of the crime.

And this one... it's a move that I invented.

It's a pistol whip.

A gunslinger whip.

A gunslinger tilt. You ready?

You ready? You ready?

Action.

How old were you when you met Matthew Smith?

I was 16.

In the interest of documentary film-making, just elaborate.

I was 16 when I met Matthew Smith.

Here, at this camp.

Mm...that was a little dry, emotionally.

Want to try it again?

This is where we had our first kiss.

Really? How was it?

Too much tongue.

I mean, neither of us knew what we were doing.

We got much better at it over time.

That was it? Just kissing?

Yeah. That was a big deal for me back then.

I wasn't exactly... confident.

Nobody here was.

Why?

Why weren't you confident?

It was... It was...

It was a weight-loss camp.

Weight-loss camp? Hang on.

You met at fat camp?

-It's not funny, Charlie.

-Fat camp.

Fat camp is a little funny.

Stop saying "fat camp".

Well, did they call it something else, like k-a-m-p p-h-a-t?

Come here.

This is where we he wrote his first song.

He performed it at talent night.

Oh, God, it was really beautiful.

Yeah?

What'd you do?

I cried.

No, f-for talent night.

Oh. I, uh... I hula-hooped.

Did you terrify small children?

Shut up.

After camp, you know, we said we'd stay in touch.

Yeah. He wrote me these...

..really beautiful letters.

Is that enough?

You know, I got to figure out

how to get this footage on to my new editing system.

Or you know what? Maybe I can just edit on here.

That was weird.

I don't think you're letting yourself see the new me.

Charlie, neither of us are new.

Pfft!

I just think that you and I could...

OK, don't do take this personally, but I'm not looking.

Seriously, I'm... I'm not.

That's cool.

It's totally cool. That's a gracious rejection.

I don't know why I'd take that personal.

I'm going to hit the hay.

I'll take the rear bunk...

and you're in the, uh, forward deck.

Solo.

Goodnight.

Night.

Ready? Ready?

And...action.

This is where Matthew first started playing.

Man, he loved it here.

I used to... I used to sneak out of college to come see him.

Then we'd go on the road together and...

Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

Actually, you know what? It... it wasn't that much fun.

Everybody wanted him and it was

like I got into some kind of fucked-up conga line.

Was this the place?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Uh, they found his car...over there.

That's a long way down.

-No-one could survive that. No-one.

-Charlie.

I'm sorry. My bad.

I think that Matthew may have been left-handed.

Yeah, he was.

-Really?

-Mm.

-So, did you know Matthew Smith?

-I knew him.

I mean, I didn't know him, know him, but I-I-I knew him.

I mean, if I've seen the inside of his house, I've seen the

inside of his house, but a lot

of people have seen the inside of that guy's house.

He was hugely talented. Hugely. Hugely.

What does...? What does Matthew Smith's music mean to you?

He was a huge influence on my music, all my friends' music...

Maybe all music, I mean, music itself.

People talk about Cobain, but fuck Cobain.

He could have been so much more.

He could have been our generation's...voice.

There's people that kind of come and go in the music scene

whose "ghosts" always live on, you know?

And he's definitely one of them.

I mean, you guys... You guys were pretty tight, right?

We got wasted a couple times.

And did he ever seem like he, you know, just wanted to...disappear?

What the hell do I know? I bounce drunks.

Lucas. There she is. How you doing?

Yeah, good. Uh, Lucas... This is Lucas.

Lucas, this is Charlie. He's making a documentary I'm helping him with.

-How's it going?

-Good.

Um...man, you never called me back.

Yeah. I just... yeah.

These things happen.

Hey, you should... you should at least have one of these.

-Here, you too, man.

-No, sir.

-When did you get these made?

-Uh, last week, actually.

-These look really good.

-Yeah?

-Yeah. Good for you.

-Thanks very much.

Hey, if you guys are free tonight, you should come down the street.

I'm playing a little gig on the stage, so not just a sidewalk

and drunk people yelling at me.

Yeah, sure. Why not? Yeah.

-Do you want to?

-Of course. You should come, too, man.

-Wait. What?

-You...you want to come, Charlie, or...?

-Now? We're... We're quitting?

-I think we're good for tonight.

I mean, if you guys are doing your thing, you know, maybe I'll see you.

-I don't want to...

-Let's go.

-I'll come with you now.

-All right, cool. Then...

-Hey, see you later, Doug.

-Um, good luck with the doc, man.

What just happened, man?

APPLAUSE

Thank you, guys.

Um, OK, this is a new one, and...we haven't really played

it before live, so we'll see how it goes.

But, uh, I wrote it for someone special.

I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true.

# Yeah, she

# Caught me by surprise

# Well, she

# She wants to feel the eyes

# Oh, well, she

# Was as restless as moonlight

# Oh, now, she wasn't daylight turned into night... #

SHE LAUGHS

I want you to be my permanent alarm clock.

Sure. Just follow you around...

singing all the time, yeah.

Wow. Someone singing songs written about me -

hasn't happened in a long time.

Actually, um, I didn't... I didn't write that one about you.

Oh, my God.

No, I-I-I wrote it for this guy I met in prison.

His name's Bobby. "Big Bob."

-Big Bob?

-Big Bob.

-Big Bobby.

Big Bob was a sweetheart.

Here we are.

Wow.

-Yeah.

-What are we going to do today?

I don't know.

Well, you know what? I-I think we should do something really stupid.

Like, really stupid.

Let's do this! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Terrible, terrible idea.

Oh, my God.

-Holy shit! You're a madman.

-What was that?

-Put something on. Here.

-I can't feel my testicles.

-I'll feel your testicles.

-Fantastic.

Man, you got a lot of records.

-And, by the way, who the hell still has CDs?

-I do.

That is a lot of CDs.

Man, it is crazy that you used to hang with him.

Like, you used to hang out with Matthew Smith.

-Yeah, well...

-That's insane.

-Dude's, like, my idol.

-No kidding.

And why did he kill himself?

It's like, if I had half the talent that this guy had...

That is the best song. Inside? I love that song.

I used to listen to that song on repeat in eighth grade.

Hi. You guys ready to order?

-Uh...the salad. The dressing.

-Yes?

-Does that have dairy?

-I can check for you.

I'm extremely lactose-intolerant.

-If it has dairy, uh, I can't have it anywhere near me.

-OK.

Also, I will have the toast, but you'll need to burn that

because I cannot ingest live gluten.

OK, so, I'll... I'll just take the burger, medium-rare, please.

Thank you.

So, I met a sound specialist who thinks he might be able to

-do something with the video.

-Hmm.

I think I might be a better investigative journalist

than I am a documentary film-maker.

Well, Ellie, I think I have found the woman that I am going

to spend the rest of my life with,

until they crank my coffin into a coffin-sized hole.

Wow. That was fast.

Love happens, it happens.

-Are you shocked?

-I'm... I'm... no, I'm happy for you.

-Thank you.

Yeah, I really am.

Her name is Charlotte.

She's fun. She's beautiful.

She's young.

She's amazing and I know she's the one - I have a way of telling now.

Oh, really? How?

I've devised a system that can apply to any couple.

It goes like this.

If the relationship can be summed up in a single sentence,

it will never survive. I'll give you an example.

The previous relationship,

our single sentence was, "She is the lost child to my father figure."

In another one, I was the exotic aesthete to her Midwestern homebody.

Exotic aesthete?

And with another, "She is my

"every sexual fantasy, but she just wants her bare bottom spanked."

Right. So, you're saying it works with you and Charlotte

-because there's not one sentence that describes it.

-Exactly.

And what about you and Matthew?

I was the carpenter to his

unfixable...fixer-upper.

"Can't save nobody" - it's a famous saying.

An enormous earthquake hit Kabanjahe, Indonesia two days ago.

There are probably over 500 animals that have died.

Most of these animals will, unfortunately,

go without proper burial.

We need to aid these souls,

help them transition into the next stage of their existence.

So please remember today, heart to heart...

soul to soul...paw to paw.

Charlie has told me all about your search for Matthew Smith.

I was a huge fan of his in junior high school.

You know, originally, I volunteered to help Ellie find Matthew

because I wanted to have sex with her.

-Jesus! That's not... That's not true.

-It's fine. I'm not threatened.

-You shouldn't be.

-SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

Look at the house. Look at how she's completely made it over.

It's just aglow with love and warmth, and that dream catcher.

She's got a great eye, not unlike my mother...

Except, you know, Charlotte's alive and gorgeous.

That sounds like your sentence.

Oh, come on.

By the way, what are you and...

-La...Lagary...?

-Lucas. His name is Lucas.

-What are you and Lucas doing on Saturday?

-I don't know.

Well, Charlotte and I have something wonderful to celebrate.

Don't we, my dear?

Celebrate?

Her lips are like tiny sugar pillows.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

# Endless love... #

That's lovely.

Oh, my God. That thing is huge!

Look at that. That is beautiful.

You guys are coming, right?

-Uh...

-To the wedding?

Yeah. Yeah. When is it?

-Next week.

-Oh, God!

What? Uh, wow.

-That's...

-It's really great.

-That's really kind of...

-Exciting.

Well, when you know, you know, and we know.

So, I'm chartering a jet and we're flying over, and you got to come with us.

-You have a private jet?

-Mm-hmm.

Yeah, we'll... We'll fly on your private jet, sure.

Of course, you know, I've really been trying to get

Charlie to enjoy objects more.

I just... I think it would be good for him, you know,

because we're in such a golden era of materialism.

And we all have a slot to fill in the world and,

until you learn to fill that slot,

you're fighting against the natural order.

You'll never be completely at peace. I've been studying all about this.

Oh, wow. So, there's, like, papers written on this?

-Oh, yeah, tonnes.

-Are they written in crayon?

Ha-ha! That's really insulting. No, they're not in crayon.

-Charlie has rich-man's guilt.

-I do?

-Mm-hmm.

Even your...your documentary film-making

is an effect of your misalignment.

-Right.

-Documentaries, they're a platform for the poor.

They should be by poor people, for poor people, about poor people.

You know, I once saw this little film online and it was...

made by monkeys, about monkeys, for monkeys.

That's not true, is it?

The whole thing's like ten seconds long and it's just

this shaking camera with occasional glimpses of, like,

a banana and other monkeys and then the camera breaks.

That's...not funny at all.

-That would be animal cruelty.

-Right.

It was just a funny little...

It's just a little...video.

The golden age of materialism? What? She's kind of crazy, right?

-Thank you for being nice.

-Yeah. When am I not nice?

You're the one who can't fake it.

You look really cute tonight.

Thanks, baby.

-What's going on? Are you nervous about your meeting?

-Hmm? No.

You don't need to be. I mean, he's going to love you.

No, it's going to be good. Thank you for hooking that up.

Of course. You don't have to thank me.

-You're up, champ.

-Thanks, bud.

Glory hole is stall three.

-Wow.

-HE SIGHS

It's exciting, isn't it?

-What?

-Love.

Me, Charlotte. You, Lucas.

You guys are going to have a great time at the wedding

and I'm going to tell Charlotte to throw the bouquet

at you as hard as she can.

So, what is going on? What do you got for me?

-Well, yeah, it's coming along.

-Ellie, your deadline is next week.

Can I just get a little, tiny progress report, please?

OK. Uh, well, if you... If you have to know, the truth is... I...

-I'm kind of seeing somebody, so my time is...

-Oh, for God's sake.

I could give a shit. Honey, the story.

What's going on with the story?

You know, what happened with the internet guy?

What internet guy?

The guy that I gave 1,000 to because he knew where Matthew was -

-that guy.

-Oh, yeah.

Uh, that guy. Uh... Funny thing.

-People on the internet, they aren't always honest.

-Huh.

And I want to state for the record

that I had my doubts from the beginning.

So, what else have you tried?

What do you mean? Like, have I found Matthew? Is that what you're asking?

Cos, I mean, you said it - he may not even be out there.

Did our conversation just have no effect on you whatsoever?

Because here's the deal, honey. I just... I cannot cover for you

anymore while you self-destruct over some idiot fucking musician.

My magazine is on the line here.

OK, I need you to do three things, all right?

Get your shit together,

find Matthew,

write a very good story about it.

Or what? SHE SCOFFS

You'll fire me?

That's right.

DOOR OPENS

HE PANTS

-Hey. Come on in.

-I was just running.

Really weird. It was good. The meeting was really, really...

Oh, God, yeah. What happened? I think, uh...

-I think I'm flying to LA tomorrow, yeah.

-Oh, my God.

And they want to set up a bunch of meetings and shows and...

-Wow! Ahh! That's amazing!

-Crazy!

I cannot believe it.

Wow. Wait.

-Uh, when...? When will you be back?

-Uh... I don't know.

-Oh, um... Charlie's wedding.

-Yeah.

-What day is it?

-Saturday.

But he's going to fly us over on Friday.

So, that's fine. I'll just fly in and meet you Saturday.

OK. Yeah.

-What was that?

-What?

What was that?

-I'm going to make the wedding.

-I know.

I am.

-And I'm going to call you every day.

-OK.

-Name a day, any day.

-Monday.

-I'm going to call you Monday. Name another day.

-Thursday.

-Yeah, Thursday's bad for me.

-Fuck you!

I'm going to call you Thursday.

I'm glad we're back to work on the...documentary.

Nice to have the distraction.

What's the latest on the wunderkind?

I figured it out.

I am the industry-wise transition girlfriend to his

soon-to-be model-fucking teen heart-throb.

Ooh. Your sentence.

I'm sorry.

This is... Well, this is the house where Matthew grew up.

-Who do you think lives there now?

-Apparently, nobody.

I mean, no-one answered when I knocked.

I know how to break into his room - done that before.

This used to be easier.

There is a door here...that's unlocked.

Let's just... Let's go in this door.

SHE SIGHS

It's exactly as I remember it.

It even smells the same.

Luckily, for the documentary, I don't have smell-o-vision.

This is where I lost my virginity.

-Maybe that shouldn't go on record.

-Oh, no. That's great.

That's just the kind of...detail we're looking for in

hard-hitting documentary film-making.

How was it?

Eh... What do you expect for the first time?

How was yours?

Oh, man. I lost my virginity about 200 or 300 times. Uh...

-Just answer the question.

-All right. If you must know, I was 14.

-It was our 46-year-old Jamaican housekeeper.

-What?!

She was very tender.

-She had a lot of moles.

-OK, thank you.

Hey, I'm going to leave you and the ghost of Matthew alone for a second.

I got to pee.

Holy shit. I didn't know he had these.

Hey, I just found a bunch of issues of Stax.

I think he was a subscriber from way back. His mom must have... Shit.

-Ellie?

-Mr Smith.

What are you doing in my house?

Uh, I just... I-I knocked on the door, and there...there was

-no answer, so I...

-So you broke in.

Well, I thought you might have moved or...

-TOILET FLUSHES

-Oh, for the love of God.

Check it out...potty cam.

HE LAUGHS

-Who the hell is this?

-This is... This is Charlie.

He and I are making a documentary together.

A documentary? Oh. On that?

This is cutting-edge Japanese technology, sir.

I am... I am so sorry we broke in.

Obviously, it was a very stupid idea.

I just want to apologise again.

I mean, it must be unpleasant to be reminded of everything.

Yeah.

You guys know the way.

Yes...

And you have a beautiful home - it's really lovely.

-He always hated me.

-Really? Why?

Yeah, I don't know.

He... He didn't want Matthew to be famous and I think he

thought I encouraged Matthew too much with his music.

He held me responsible when...

He rebelled and left home and, eventually, when he...

SHE SIGHS

Would you come back with me to my house?

I have something for the wedding being delivered.

-Ooh! Your tux?

-No.

-The ring?

-No.

-What? Cake?

-No.

-Lingerie?

-No.

What is it?

2,400 - it's all there.

Is that one of those things you can't get water on?

-Uh, it's Galagos bush baby.

-He's endangered, though, right?

Cos that's the more expensive one?

Yeah, it's a girl, actually, but, yes.

Does she get lonely in there?

Galagos is not puppies. They don't want love.

They just want to be left alone.

Lucky them.

Oh, Lucas, it's...

you-know-who calling you

again...and again and again.

Uh...just call me.

When do you start serving?

SHE SIGHS

KNOCK ON DOOR

-Good. Come in.

-Oh, you look so nice.

-Thank you.

-You look quite elegant yourself.

-Oh, yeah, that's me(!)

-Have a seat.

What's happening?

Oh... I just needed to talk

about something before I actually go through with this.

I'm not a religious guy,

so I hope you don't mind sitting in for my confession.

-I'd be honoured.

-It's dark and sordid.

-Really?

-No, not at all.

-I'm excited.

You know, after I got

divorced, I went through...

A period of...failed relationships.

And now, recently, I see you and Lucas and realise

that something's missing in my life,

so I did something out of character, something I'd never done before.

I called an escort service.

-You'd never done that before?

-No, no.

I was always too afraid that something would go wrong.

-Worry about diseases or...

-Of course. They're everywhere.

No, it was more the protocol of it all.

If you don't take up all your time,

do you get to snuggle for the rest of the hour?

Or if you need more time, do you pay extra?

If you run over, is there a bell and they just shove you off of them?

-There's a bell?

-As it turns out, there was

not a bell, which was a relief.

But one night...there was a knock at the door and I opened it,

and...and there stood Charlotte.

Wow.

I thought she was a socialite.

-Like, all the charity work and...

-She loves animals.

She has a big heart.

She wasn't cut out for that life.

She said that I was her first client as a prostitute.

-I'm not naive, but...

-Yeah.

Anyway, I love her

and...I'm going to marry her.

I don't know, Ellie. I know I'm not a deep guy,

but I'm not a shallow guy either.

Eh, what can I say?

Life's pretty weird.

I got to agree.

So, here before your family and friends,

and everyone who knows you best, I pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss each other.

CHEERING

-Where's Lucas?

-I haven't heard from him in two days.

Well, just pick somebody out.

There's a lot of guys here, a lot of available man cake.

-You can do a lot of damage with some of these guys.

-Charlie...

Come on, piece of man cake.

You see that big hunk of rock and roll man back there?

Are you calling him rock and roll because of his hair?

No, seriously, that's my buddy Craig.

He's a good guy.

-I'll hook it up.

-No. Charlie, no!

Why not? He's a good guy.

-You and Craig.

-Charlie, no.

You and Craig. You and Craig!

Yes, I have the jaw of a superhero.

Yes, I could light up a dark room with my smile.

Yes, I have the hair of an '80s rock star.

But this... This is what I'm really proud of.

This is God-given.

I can't do anything about this, but this, I feel, is-is

something that I've... I've earned through hard work and determination.

And I'll tell you something else that I think is going to impress you.

What is that?

I am 14 credits away from an online degree from the

-university of Phoenix, no less, to be a therapist.

-Wow.

A licensed, accredited therapist.

OK. I am going to let you give me a free like five-minute consultation.

-How do you feel about that?

-Oh, yeah.

OK, so, I have this boyfriend...or maybe had,

and...well, he was supposed to meet me here.

-But I think the gig is up.

-Ah! See?

Now, why do you call it a gig?

See, gig is a very temporary term.

It's very...transient.

It's here today, gone tomorrow.

I think that you get on that stage knowing that you're going

to get off that stage quickly.

Quickly, like maybe after a couple of songs, hmm?

Are we...? Are they still serving?

I mean, either whisky or cake or...

something sweet.

Oh, here we go.

CHARLOTTE LAUGHS

-Charlie, what is this?

-Well, Charlotte, it's something

that I know you've always wanted and thought you would never,

ever get in this lifetime.

From the Galapagos islands in

the South pacific...

It's so beautiful!

Oh, God. Is it dead?

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Hey. Surprise.

What are you doing here?

Uh... This... This was our plan... I thought.

You didn't... You didn't even show. You didn't call me back.

Yeah, well, I got held up.

-Well, some of us know some of us.

-HE LAUGHS

Um, who is this?

He's sort of my...therapist.

Great.

You two should probably talk.

No, no, no. You stay right there.

I mean, what could possibly be said

that could make this any better, you know?

Yeah, all right.

So, I should stay?

No.

KNOCK ON DOOR (Oh, God!)

SHE SIGHS

QUICKER KNOCKING

Well, I heard about you and Lucas...and Craig.

I don't even want to talk about it.

Look on the bright side, at least you didn't give a dead animal

to somebody on their wedding day.

Guilty.

Come on.

It's a new day. You know what you need to do -

you need to go back to work.

Need to get started looking for Matthew again, get back in the RV.

Or, you know what?

Just take a trip somewhere. It's on me.

How about that?

Charlie...that's fucking ridiculous.

I'm just trying to help you out.

I know you feel bad about last night and I'm...

I just want to be your friend.

You're only my friend cos you had a thousand bucks when I needed it.

I didn't mean that. Came out the wrong way.

Did it?

Charlie...

Oh, fuck. Charlie!

"Ellie, I think we could have been something special,

"but what's done is done.

"Here's the money you wouldn't let me return."

Holy shit.

"It paid for my demo, so thank you. Take care. Lucas."

ANSWER MACHINE BEEPS

Ellie, your deadline came and went weeks ago.

You know, this business, it's fickle enough.

I would be absolutely justified never publishing another word

from you, based on the way you've been screwing me around.

# I would come back and admit that it wasn't your fault

# And I'm tried and unwilling to be the only one who was wrong

# And I would sail back to you

# And I would sail back to you... #

Whisky and a beer.

# And I would sail back to you

# I'll be sailing on your deep blue eyes

# I'll be sailing on your deep blue eyes

# I'll be sailing on your deep blue eyes

# I'll be sailing on your deep blue eyes

# I'll be sailing on your deep blue eyes

# I'll be sailing on your deep blue eyes... #

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Hey, you cannot be going dark on me like that.

Yeah. Yeah.

No, this is what I was worried about.

What?

No guy, just you wallowing.

I'm not wallowing! I'm working!

-I was getting so close to figuring this out.

-OK, what is this shit?

This song, it's Matthew. It is.

And he's singing about me... I mean, us. Listen.

# I'll be sailing on your... #

I tracked the IP address where this e-mail came from,

when the guy sent me this, but it's just some fucking library computer.

And I just... Ugh!

I know that I'm just not thinking of something.

I mean, he's out there, singing about me, wanting me to find him.

OK, but, Ellie, don't you think he'd just call you?

Him?

SHE LAUGHS No.

God. He was such a dick.

SHE SIGHS

Hey, listen...don't... Fuck you.

Oh, wait. Fuck me?

-Yeah, fuck you.

-Oh, all right, cool.

Um, listen...you need to stop this shit, OK?

-Excuse me.

-Hey. I am working.

OK, it's not work, all right?

You're in crazy town!

Listen to me. Listen!

All right, you have to stop this.

OK.

Please, please, please let go, please let go, please let go!

I want you to look at him...

OK? ..and remember him for the shithead that he was.

Is!

Was/is.

-Holy shit.

-Yeah.

Holy fucking shit.

-Yeah, tough stuff.

-I love you.

I love you, too.

Oh, my God.

Wait. What?

(Oh, God.)

Where's Charlotte?

Have a seat.

Before you apologise - and I assume that's why you're here -

I have something I'd like to say to you.

OK.

I only had good intentions toward you.

I didn't deserve to be treated the way I was treated.

I know, I know. I... I was totally out of line.

-Sometimes I can be a jackass.

-Mm. Yeah.

I wasn't necessarily asking you to agree with that specific point.

I am really sorry, Charlie.

Really sorry.

Thank you. I believe you.

-So, you asked about Charlotte.

-Yeah.

Yeah, well, Charlotte and I are done.

Wow. What happened?

We had some issues.

What kind of issues?

You know, "issues."

You couldn't get it up?

Why is that always the assumption? No.

I could get it up.

But there were some bigger issues.

Like what?

That she was already married.

No!

-Yeah.

-Wow.

I don't know...what to say.

There's no logic to love.

It's just a painful, brutal process of trial and error

and you just go through it again and again and again...

and again and again and again...

..and again.

Well, I think I might have something that will take your

-mind off Charlotte for a little while, at least.

-OK.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

Think I've... I really found him.

"Him"?

-Matthew.

-Matthew?

Really?

Mm-hmm. I've rented a car...

..and I would very much appreciate your help.

I'm ready to hit the road again.

OK. Remember in Matthew's house,

-he had all these back issues of Stax?

-Mm.

Right? So, according to the subscriber database,

it's never been dropped.

Just the address was changed to the bar.

So, his mom got him the subscription back in high school,