Midnight's Children

SALEEM: 'I was born in the city of Bombay, once upon a time.

'At the precise instant of India's arrival at Independence,

'on the stroke of midnight, I tumbled forth into the world.

'I, Saleem Sinai, was mysteriously handcuffed to history.

'My destiny, forever chained to my country's.

'And I couldn't even wipe my own nose at the time.

'Most of what matters in our lives takes place in our absence.

'And my life really began on the shore of the Dal Lake in Kashmir...

'more than 30 years before I was born.'

'The central feature of my grandfather's anatomy

'was his magnificent nose.'

-Doctor Aziz.

-Good morning, Ghani Sahib.

-Good morning.

Now that our own lady doctor is sick,

you, Doctor Aziz, get the opportunity and she gets the sack.

-Big chance for you, young man!

-Yes, sir.

I've heard nice things about you.

Good doctor, Europe-returned. Good family background.

Well, good enough.

My daughter is not well.

Do a good job. Make her all right.

I have many friends in this town.

-And you have a practice to build. Right?

-Right.

-Right.

Where is she, your daughter?

She is standing behind the sheet, like a good girl.

But, Ghani Sahib, how will I examine her without seeing her?

Ah, I can see your confusion.

You Europe-returned chappies forget certain things.

My daughter is not going to flaunt her body

under the nose of any Tom, Dick or, for that matter, Aziz.

You will...specify the portion that you want to examine.

What does the lady complain of?

My poor child has terrible, too-dreading, stomach-ache.

In that case, may I examine her...?

Yes, Naseem, stomach, pronto.

-May I?

-Yeah, yes, you can.

Thank you.

Doctor Aziz, my poor child is suffering from constipation.

-Yes.

-No, no.

Don't even think about it.

There is no question of being permitted to administer an enema.

-No, no. No, no, Ghani Sahib.

-No. I said "no"!

Doctor Aziz!

Thank you.

Is it...permitted that I touch?

-Touch away, touch away! Hands of the healer!

-Thank you.

With your permission, please.

-Is it the lady's time of the month?

-Yes.

But then, then... Then there is nothing to worry about.

-It's, it's, it's all right.

-Don't be embarrassed, old chap!

You're the family doctor now!

Doctor Aziz...

she has a headache.

My goodness, Doctor, what a nose!

HE LAUGHS

Yes, it's quite a specimen.

I agree.

So, Doctor Aziz.

Anything else?

Just one more thing...

We will be a modern couple.

Naseem will not wear the veil.

So, you will allow other men to look at her face?

Most men, Ghani Sahib, are not beasts.

Most men are also not blind, Doctor Sahib.

Listen, would you... move a little, please.

Move where? Move how?

I mean...

..like, like a woman.

Who have I married?

I know you foreign-educated types.

You do God knows what with those foreign, terrible women,

and then you expect us to be like them.

Listen, Doctor Sahib,

husband or no husband,

I am not the moving type.

FLUTTERING WINGS

LOW CONVERSATION IN URDU

SALEEM: 'In Agra, my grandfather contracted

'a dangerous form of optimism.

'It was caused by Mian Abdullah,

'the hope of all Indian Muslims...

'who were against the partition of the country

'into India and Pakistan.

'A politician with a peacock-feather fan.'

-We can beat them.

-I'm sure.

We are ready for whatever may come.

There is talk of dirty deeds.

Oh, yes?

-This is Nadir Khan, my secretary.

-Nice to meet you, Nadir.

He has a heightened imagination.

-He's a poet, you see.

-Oh, a poet...

And what poetry! Not a single verse!

Not a single verb!

Well, all these ideas seem out of date to me. ..Excuse me, sir.

All artistic expression is equal,

poetry, movies, even the old men who use their skill to

spit out betel-juice and hit a spittoon.

Perhaps I will get you a spittoon, so that you can practice your art.

How about that, Mian Abdullah?

These are new ideas. >

We must leave, Your Highness.

..Excuse us. Dr Aziz.

Khuda-hafiz.

LADIES GIGGLE NEARBY

TYRES SCREECH

GUNSHOT, GLASS SMASHES

MULTIPLE GUNSHOTS

GUNSHOTS CONTINUE

TYRES SCREECH

Mian Sahib?

TYRES SCREECH IN DISTANCE

DOGS BARK

GEESE HONK AND FLAP

Help me, Doctor Aziz.

What?

Please help me.

Who's this?

Sorry for the interruption!

Such an intrusion.

Nadir?

I had to hide!

Is that you, Nadir? What are you...?

I saw everything, Doctor!

They killed him.

Assassins shot him like a dog.

-And then they saw me!

-Shh. Quiet.

You have to hide me, Doctor.

Or I'm a dead man.

SALEEM: 'At home, Doctor Aadam Aziz found himself surrounded by women.

'His formidable wife, Naseem,

'and their three daughters - wise Alia, sweet Mumtaz,

'and flighty Emerald.'

He's asked us for our shelter.

We have no choice.

Please.

And spare us your crazy oaths!

But, Abba, where will we put him?

We'll sweep him under the carpet.

Like all other problems.

'Sometimes emotions are stirred into food,

'and become what you feel.

'And sometimes, people leak into each other,

'like flavours when you cook.'

'Mumtaz Aziz, destined to be my mother,

'took upon herself the duties of caring for the needs of Nadir Khan.'

You're very good.

I'm not a brainbox like Alia, or a beauty like Emerald.

But you are.

Eat, now. Don't let it go cold.

CAR AND GEESE HONK

HE TAPS

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Terrible business, sir. I fully understand your grief.

But you did know this fellow,

Nadir, secretary to Mian Abdullah?

-No, I don't think so, no.

-Met him at the Rani of Cooch Naheen's

-on the night of the killing?

-Yes, of course...

Yes, I thought you might be able to shed some light on

his disappearance. No?

No.

And of course these charming young ladies

of yours have also seen nothing.

And if we should see something, Major Zulfikar, what should we do?

Ah. Miss Emerald. Naturally you should inform your father,

who will then alert me in my office at the military cantonment.

-Yes, of course.

-Of course. Thank you so much, Major.

Yes.

Thank you, Major.

Sir. Ladies.

Madam.

-Did you see that girl, Captain?

-Yes, sir.

-That, Captain, is the girl I intend to marry.

-Yes, sir.

'Feeling left out by her self-imposed vow of silence,

'my grandmother eavesdropped on her daughters' dreams.'

'She visited Emerald's dreams

'and found Zulfikar lurking in them.'

'In Alia's, she saw

'the successful and handsome businessman, Ahmed Sinai.'

'And in Mumtaz's, she saw a son.

'A boy with a cucumber nose, unfortunately.'

No, tell me a poem - one of yours.

No, no, you wouldn't like it, OK?

You must! The best one you ever wrote.

-It's got no rhymes. It's free verse.

-Does it at least have a name?

-Yes.

-So, what is it?

Mumtaz.

Spittoon.

So that you can practise your art.

See, I remembered.

OK, I'm sorry, everyone, but is this really happening?

They're going to get married and live in the cellar

and we have to keep the secret?

For how long?

Ten years? This is ridiculous.

Please, Emerald. There might still be killers out there.

-I need some time.

-What would Major Zulfikar say?

Already he wonders, how Nadir survived the shooting.

If Nadir is innocent he should go to the Major and come clean.

"If" Nadir is innocent? "If", you say?

Please, Emerald. Some time, na?

OK,

OK.

-Hide on, like a fat worm under the ground.

-Emerald...

SHE GRUNTS

I'm sorry.

No. No, it's OK.

It's OK. It'll come, all right.

RAIN SHEETS, THUNDER RUMBLES

'Family history, too, has dietary laws.

'One is supposed only to swallow the halal parts,

'drained of blood.

'But that makes the stories less juicy,

'and this was a juicy part.

'So, it must be told.'

What's going on?

Abba!

Move!

Abba, Abba, please don't tell them anything.

-He's been in this house for far too long!

-Abbajan? Please, what's wrong?

What's wrong? What's wrong you say? I'll tell you what's wrong!

My daughter tells me she is still a virgin! That's what is wrong.

I love my husband.

-What?

-I love him, Abba.

The other thing will come, right? It will.

A marriage should not depend on this thing...

..but on love.

This should not have been mentioned.

GATE OPENS

SHE WEEPS

Down there!

-Weapons out!

-No!

-You'll thank me later, just wait and see.

-Stay tight!

Follow me, boys!

Women must marry men, not mice.

So you found your voice.

Whose crazy fool scheme was this?

To allow this coward who hides underground

like a worm, into our home?

The bird has turned! The worm has flown!

After all that, he actually got away?

CARS DRIVE AWAY

That sweet man.

SHE SOBS

He set me free.

Please look over here, sir.

Big smile!

Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

It's a... It's a beautiful wedding, sir, really.

Most grateful. Damn glad I chose not to charge you

with harbouring a wanted criminal. Married your daughter instead.

Thank you, sir. Thanks very much.

HUM OF CONVERSATION, MUSIC PLAYS

INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

Go away!

You know, I've always loved children.

Me too.

But never had any. My former wife couldn't.

-Oh, I'm sorry. But, you could always still...

-Marry again?

Yes.

Well, if I found the right girl.

And, if she would have me, if I asked.

Yes?

Yes.

And move to Bombay with me.

We're moving to...?

I mean, you're moving?

Safer for a family, no?

BRASS BAND MUSIC

THEY PLAY

Big smile!

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS, STEAM HISSES

INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Mumtaz...

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

I've got something for you.

What? A present?

Better than that. A new name.

Amina.

Do you like it?

Amina?

Yes.

Nadir and Mumtaz are in the past now.

Better to leave them behind, no?

A new name for a new beginning...

Mrs Amina Sinai.

Whatever you say.

SALEEM: 'Why did she marry him so quickly? For solace?

'For the children they both wanted so much?

'My mother Amina Sinai, in her new incarnation,

'resolved to forget the poet, Nadir,

'and fall in love with my father, Ahmed Sinai.

'But love is a rare thing.'

SCREECHING

LOUD CLATTERING

'Our Bombay!

'Bombay, of which the old tunes sang,

'# Prima in Indis! Gateway to India!

'# Star of the East with her face to the West! #

'Our Bombay!'

Ah, Mr Methwold.

Mr Sinai. How do you do?

Very well, and you? My wife.

CLINKING

Well, Mr Methwold, I must say,

the price you're asking for Buckingham Villa, it's...

It's rather... Well, it's absolutely...

Ridiculous. Yes, a ridiculously low price.

We're giving the whole blasted country away, in point of fact.

Hundreds of years of decent, honourable government

and then all of a sudden, it's up and off.

-You must admit, though, we weren't all bad.

-Not at all.

We built your schools, railway stations, trains, so forth.

METHWOLD CLEARS THROAT

I was just telling my wife what a fine man you are!

Ah!

-HE CHUCKLES

-Hm.

SINGING NEARBY

SHE SINGS:

Look here, Willie, do me a favour, man, will you.

I've got this terrible headache.

And if you could nip down to Kemp's Corner

and ask the chemist to give you some pills.

Servants are all down with a cold. Otherwise I wouldn't have asked.

-Yes, sir. Of course, sir.

-Good man.

SHE CONTINUES:

My own little transfer of power will also take place

at midnight on August the 14th, 1947.

When India rids itself of us...

Buckingham Villa, will be free of William Methwold. Me.

And the grass must be sprayed every single night.

Well, absolutely, Mr Methwold.

Well, as you say in Hindustani,

-"Sab kuch ticktock hai." "Everything is tickety-boo."

-Absolutely.

And another small detail, Mr Sinai.

Nothing in the house must change until Independence.

It must be bought complete with its entire contents.

Janum, everything?

Not even a spoon can be thrown? And this lamp...for two months?

Well, Mr Sinai?

Yes, sir, Mr Methwold?

One other little condition.

We will take a cocktail here, in the grounds of Buckingham Villa,

-every evening until my departure from India.

-Very well.

# Goodnight, ladies, goodnight, ladies... #

This is Wee Willie. Local tramp and his wife, Vanita.

You'll be seeing a lot of them.

HE SCATS

# Farewell, ladies, farewell, ladies

# Farewell, ladies...

# We're going, say goodnight... #

HE SCATS

# Goodnight, ladies Goodnight, ladies... #

Sings well, your Wee Willie. Damn silly name, though.

But you gave it to him.

So I did. Amongst other things.

# Goodnight, ladies

# Goodnight, ladies

# We're going to leave you now

# We're going

# To say goodnight! # SHE RATTLES COINS

-Very good, Willie.

-APPLAUSE

Wee Willie Winkie is my name, to sing for my supper is my fame.

I hope you are com-for-table

or are you come-for-tea?

Oh, joke! Joke, ladies and ladahs!

Bottoms up.

-Fix you another one?

-How kind. Thank you, Mr Sinai.

Pretty girl, that.

Must be due around about the same time as you.

Sab kuch ticktock hai.

Everything is indeed tickety-boo.

Tickety-boo.

SHE MOANS

I think, Madame, you are going to have a baby boy.

LOW CONVERSATION

Joe! My God!

What are you doing here?

You and your politics!

Is that freedom? Is that justice?

Against the rich.

The rich need to become poor, and the poor rich.

-You need money?

-No.

KNOCK AT DOOR, BABY CRIES

SALEEM: 'Pakistan and India

'were born washing themselves in one another's blood.'

The Empire on which the sun never sets.

'But I will not describe it.

'I will avert my eyes from the violence.

'Selfish perhaps, but excusably so in my opinion.

'After all, one is not born every day.'

-NEHRU:

-Long years ago, we made a tryst with destiny.

And now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge

'not wholly, or in full measure, but very substantially.'

SHE GROANS

SHE MOANS

Busy night!

BABIES CRY

-Joe!

-I need to get out of Bombay. They're after me.

We need to do it now, Mary.

The real revolution.

Say you love me.

Say it once.

At the stroke of the midnight hour,

'when the world sleeps,

'India will awake to life and freedom.'

CHEERING

'A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history,

'when we step out from the old to the new.'

When an age ends, and when the soul of a nation,

long suppressed, finds utterance.

SHE SCREAMS

SALEEM: 'At the precise instant of India's arrival at independence.

'On the stroke of midnight, as a matter of fact,

'I tumbled forth into the world.'

FIREWORKS BOOM

Vanita?

Oh, Jesus.

BABY CRIES

SHE COOS

Poor baby.

Poor thing.

Mommy no more.

Hmm?

Oh, Mary, so many babies...

Give it to me.

Private room number four. Sinai.

Sinai. Hey?

SALEEM: 'Two babies in her hands.

'Two lives in her power.

'She did it for Joe.

'Her own private, revolutionary act.

'"Love me, Joe," was in Mary's mind.

'And then it was done.'

OK, Joe?

WEEPING NEARBY

HE SOBS

'When she gave the child of my mother's womb

'to Wee Willie Winkie,

'Mary knew she was condemning the rich-born boy

'to a life of accordions and poverty.'

Shiva.

'As Joe had said, let the rich be poor,

'and the poor, rich.'

Hi!

BABY SNEEZES

Thank you.

Saleem. Saleem Sinai.

Look, Janum. Poor fellow, he's got his grandfather's nose!

Go call the newspapers.

Tell the photographers to come!

Hm?

"A charming pose of Baby Saleem Sinai,

"born on the exact moment of our nation's independence.

"We shall be watching over your life with the closest attention.

"It will be in a sense, a mirror of our own.

"The happy child of the glorious hour!"

CAMERA CLICKS

Come, let's go home.

HORN HONKS

CHICKENS CLUCK NEARBY

Joe...! SHE SOBS

'Mary, unable in her fright. to confess her crime,

'realised she had been a fool.

'She cursed herself,

'but kept her secret.

'And decided to make amends of a kind...

'..to a motherless boy.'

-Mary, isn't it?

-Yes.

-From Dr Narlikar's clinic?

-Yes.

Is something the matter?

No. I just wanted to know if you need any ayah?

Well, yes, actually I do.

-Come.

-Thank you.

Hi.

First time I saw him I was just done for him.

SALEEM GURGLES, SINGING NEARBY

Who has come?

Winkie... Winkie!

-Can I come?

-Come.

-WEE WILLIE SINGS

# Pale hands I loved

# Beside the Shahlimar

# Where are you now... #

Mary. Please go give him some money.

Here.

# Pale hands I loved

# Beside the Shahlimar

# Where are you now who lies beneath your spell?

# Where are you now?

# Where are you now? #

SHIVA GURGLES

Bless you, baby.

BABY GURGLES, THEY COO

Come, come.

-There there.

-HE GURGLES

Saleem. Baba.

# Anything you want to be

# You can be

# You can be...

# Just what on Earth you want

# Anything you want to be... #

SALEEM: 'By our tenth birthday, India and myself

'were both under a lot of pressure.

'There was growth, there were gains,

'there were five-year plans and good exam results.'

-# Anything you want to... #

-Mary, please can you stop singing that.

-# You can be... #

-Please, Mary!

'But there was also. the weight of expectation.'

-Please, Mary.

-# ..What you want. #

'It was a lot to live up to.'

Aren't you forgetting something, Saleem? Where's my morning hug?

Come on!

Come on. Come on.

Come on! Yes!

-Stop it, Abba, it's embarrassing!

-Embarrassing?

-What nonsense!

-Ammi!

Great things in store for you, my son! I love you.

Come.

-And me Abba?

-Yes, you, too, Jamila.

Jamila, Abba's just joking.

You want green chutney, baba?

Yes, sure. Of course.

What a fine boy!

See if I care.

SHE HUMS TO HERSELF

Jamila!

Yes, Ammi?

Coming!

Hey, Saleem. Suppose it turns out that you're not that special.

Suppose, in the end, you're just normal.

I know.

-# Anything you want to be... #

-Shut up, stupid.

# Anything... #

Begum!

Frozen.

Freeze a Muslim's assets they say, and he'll run back to Pakistan.

Leaving all his wealth behind.

Something. We have law courts. We have to fight!

Fight? How? With what?

They've shoved my balls into an ice bucket.

-GLASSES CLATTER

-No...

Janum, please.

'Though some of his assets eventually unfroze,

'from that moment, my father entered a deep solitude.'

'And a strange perfume started wafting out

'from under his study door.

'Jamila said it was the smell of stale food,

'but it's my belief that it was the aroma of failure.'

HE PLAYS ACCORDIAN

When I say, "doggie", you'll say, "woof, woof".

What will you say?

Woof, woof!

Woof, woof. Woof, woof.

KIDS SHOUT

# How much is that doggie in the window?

Woof! Woof!

# The one with the waggly tail

# How much is that doggie in the window?

Woof! Woof!

# I do hope that dog is for sale. #

Saleem, quickly.

Look there.

You see it? It's Sputnik.

Great achievement for Man.

Listen, Saleem, my achievements have been small,

my ambitions thwarted.

But you, my son, yours must be big.

-Do you understand?

-Yes, Abba. HE GRUNTS

PHONE RINGS

Hello.

No. It's the wrong number.

I told you, this is the wrong number!

HE SIGHS

SHE SOBS

Nadir...

Nadir...

Nadir...

Achoo! VOICES CHATTER

-DISTORTED:

-Who's...? Who's in there?

Ammi, I swear, I didn't see anything! Wait a minute, Ammi!

There's noises in my head!

-Come!

-Ammi, I...

YELLING

-DISTORTED:

-Not one word for one whole day!

-Ammi, I...

-Not one word.

-VOICES CHATTER

-Mary, listen...

-Sh!

Shhh...SHHH!

VOICES CHATTER

SILENCE

VOICES CHATTER

HE SNORTS, VOICES QUIETEN

HE SNORTS, VOICES SILENT

'By the morning, I had discovered that

'I could somehow control the volume of the voices

'through my nose!

'Fear left me, and I was thinking,

'"Man! This is better than All India Radio!"'

Ammi, Abba!

Mary, please can I have your attention?

HE SNUFFLES

You have something to tell us?

An apology, I hope.

Ammi, something really big has happened finally!

-But first, please call Abba.

-Most certainly not.

What's going on?

Abbu, Ammi. I'm hearing voices.

Voices are speaking to me inside my head.

I really think that archangels have started to talk to me.

What's wrong? Has your brain gone raw?

Are you growing into a madman?

Oh, Jesus.

-What is it?

-Please.

Abba?

-You're hearing voices inside your head?

-Yes.

Still hearing those voices, ha?

Still hearing the voices?!

..to avoid repetition.

-VOICE:

-'Saleem, listen to me!

'Saleem listen to me!

'Saleem!

'Saleem!'

VOICES CONTINUE, VOLUME INCREASES

'Listen to me, Saleem. Saleem?'

Go away! I don't want you!

Did you see what Abbu did?

PHONE RINGS

Hello? No, it's the wrong number.

When?

Where?

I told you, it's the wrong number!

And now she'll go out by herself.

'Once upon a time, there was an underground husband...

'who fled, leaving loving messages of divorce.

'After a lost decade...

'..he emerged from goodness-knows-where.'

'I watched my mother and Nadir Khan.

'And I saw the kiss.

'The indirect kiss.'

I'll be gob-smacked.

KNOCKING

Saleem? What on earth are you doing here?

-Don't talk to me! I hate you!

-What's happening, darling?

You know what's happening! I saw everything. I saw it all.

I saw what you did!

What did I do?

No more of these wrong-number calls, OK, Amma?

Don't go out to see other men!

No more of this glass-kissery!

I hate you!

HE SOBS

-VOICE:

-'Saleem! Saleem, listen to me! Saleem!'

Go away! I told you! VOICES CHATTER

Get out of my head!

-'Saleem!'

-VOICES CHATTER

We're not friends. I don't even know you.

VOICES SHOUT, HE SOBS

Never call on this number again.

Saleem!

Saleem?

Saleem, we are your friends.

We're like you. We were born then, on that night.

You mean my midnight?

That midnight?

Yes, in that first hour.

All of you?

-ALL:

-Yes, all of us!

But how can I hear you all?

How can I see you?

We all have gifts.

The closer to midnight our birth-times, the greater our gifts.

CLUNK! Who's there?

Saleem and Shiva. Shiva and Saleem.

Both born on the stroke of midnight...

Same to same.

Saleem has the greatest gift of all.

He's the only one who can bring us all together.

Aren't you Wee Willie's son? How's your father anyway?

Talking to yourself? Ammi is right, your brain has really gone raw.

-Get lost!

-See if I care!

ALL SAY GOODBYE

Where are you all going? Why you are leaving?

HE SNUFFLES

GUNSHOT

-You'll get better at this.

-At what?

-This.

Children of midnight?

No.

Midnight's Children.

REVERENT CHORAL MUSIC

You see this man?

This man brought civilisation to savages.

And he commanded respect.

How?

With his...?

-Sword, sir?

-Correct! So, today's subject, human geography.

Sinai?

Sir?

-This is what, Sinai?

-Sir, I don't know, sir.

Ah, you don't know, my friend! Come with me.

-So, I ask again...

-Ah!

-Do you know what is human geography?

-Oh! Sir, please! Sir, please, sir!

Sh!

Regard, please, the hideous face of this primitive creature.

-It reminds you of...?

-Sir, the devil, sir!

Sir, a vegetable, sir!

A cousin of mine, sir! I don't know which one.

Silence, sons of baboons! This object here is human geography.

-How, sir?

-Where, sir?

In the face of this ugly ape, you don't see the whole map of India?

ALL: No, sir!

See, the Deccan peninsula hanging down?

ALL LAUGH

And the stains! These stains are Pakistan.

The birthmark on the right is East Pakistan,

and this horrible stain is where...?

HE SNORTS

ALL LAUGH

-Tell me what you are!

-An animal, sir?

-Tell me what you are!

-ARGGH!

RENDING

Er, accidents will happen, Mrs Sinai.

What's wrong with you, Mr Crusoe?

I'm here because one of your teachers pulled out a clump of hair

from my son's scalp and this is what you have to say to me?

Just shoo! Go!

Let's have a look, shall we?

This won't hurt a bit.

We've a given him a mild sedative.

It'll make him a little groggy, but it'll help him get better.

You'll be fine soon, OK?

By the way...

Your blood type, A and O? You're sure?

Yes.

Why do you ask?

I... Excuse me.

You see, he's neither one nor the other.

You're sure he's your son? Not adopted?

-Yes, of course, he's our son, Doctor.

-Excuse me.

-I don't understand.

-What is there not to understand?

He's neither one nor the other. Somebody else's blood is involved.

What?! You're his father.

He's your son.

Abba...?

Look at his face.

Where am I in the face?

That bloody nose. I should have known.

I will not let you say such things about me!

-I'll kill myself!

-SLAPPING, SHE GASPS

Baba?

Baba?

I will make you all the green chutney in the world.

Excuse me, sir, would you like to have something? Ma'am?

No, thanks.

Excuse me, would you like to have something?

'My blood was wrong.

'My wrong blood turned my father's love to hate.

'And though it caused my mother much pain,

'I was sent away.'

Ah, Saleem. Righto.

Let me be clear.

My sister asked me to take you in, I can't refuse,

whatever my own personal inclinations may be.

Welcome.

Thank you, Emerald Auntie.

Your cousin Zia will show you the ropes. Zia?

What did you do to get kicked out?

I hear you still wet your pants.

Watch it, snotty!

-Everything ready, Em?

-Yes, darling.

The time is close now.

Very well.

-Discretion is the watchword.

-Of course, darling.

-Dad, what's going on?

-Quiet!

And you, boy. Here on sufferance.

Don't act smart. Understood?

-And forget everything you've just heard.

-Yes, Uncle Zulfi.

Yes, sir, General Zulfikar.

Yes, sir, General Zulfikar.

"Uncle" is hardly appropriate, given the circs.

HE SNUFFLES

Are you there? All of you, are you there?

-Yes!

-Hi, Parvati.

-Hello, Saleem.

-Any new tricks?

Abracadabra!

Wow!

I was born seven seconds after midnight.

This is too good! We've got to organise ourselves.

Gangs need bosses, rich kid.

-It's me that's bringing you all together in my head.

-Yeah.

Everyone does what I say.

Let Saleem be!

Hm!

It's somehow because of this. HE SNUFFLES, KIDS LAUGH

One thousand and one.

But...

Four and 20 are already dead.

And everyone else?

Do you know what they can do?

In Orissa, there is a girl,

and whoever sees her falls in love with her.

And you, from Goa!

You can multiply fish!

And you, from Kerala! You can step through mirrors...

and reappear through them wherever you want!

And you,

a werewolf from Nilgiri Hills!

And you from the Vindhyas, you can make yourself bigger and smaller.

And you can fly.

So, if we have these gifts, then we must ask why?

There must be a reason, na?

I think we should figure it out and dedicate...

What's the reason that you're rich and I'm poor?

What's the reason I'm starving, man? I'll tell you.

You got to get what you can, do what you can with it,

and then you got to die.

That's the reason, rich kid!

And everything else is mother-sleeping wind.

Stop it, Shiva.

I'm going to take this gang of freaks over.

Not without me. Without me, they won't even be able to listen to you.

Just try and stop me.

Good evening. Please.

CAR APPROACHES

Sir!

Mr Commander-in-Chief, be welcome in our home.

-Come, Emerald, no need for such formalities.

-Please, come.

You shouldn't be watching.

Neither should you.

HE SNORTS

Wow! If he's here, then this is something really big.

Shh!

What is the meaning of this?

Perhaps they should be permitted to attend.

It's their future that we're making after all. Come on.

Come on, boys.

Gentlemen, here, in our Pakistan,

our Land of the Pure,

there is impurity on every side.

Tonight, therefore, on my command, we assume control of the State.

ALL: Hear! Hear!

Martial Law is imposed with immediate effect.

The Constitution is abrogated.

All political parties are abolished.

-General Zulfikar!

-Sir!

Kindly map out the procedures.

Sir.

Zia! Come here.

You, Saleem. Come up here and help.

Excuse me.

At this moment,

the national radio station has been surrounded by hand-picked units.

'GUNFIRE, EXPLOSIONS ECHO'

Loyal armoured units

are simultaneously seizing control of the airport.

Key points in the city...

..are now secure.

'GUNSHOTS ECHO'

And finally,

crack troops have taken charge of the Presidential palace.

Gentlemen, the day is ours!

-Pakistan!

-ALL TOAST

Well done, young man.

FOOTSTEPS RUMBLE

Mr President.

You're a lucky man.

It's only exile for you.

'"Only exile"?

'In exile, I learned about power.

'After all, I had helped to overthrow a government.

'Also I learned about loneliness.

'Years with no friends...

'..except for midnight's children.'

HE MOANS

BATS SCREECH

HE SCREAMS

That dream again.

Come, please. All of you.

HE SNUFFLES

Now what, cucumber-nose?

ALL GIGGLE

Come on, Shiva. It's time for the conference, everyone.

-Hi!

-Ya, not that story again.

Haven't you worked out that it's the same every time?

HE SIGHS

"We must be here for a reason.

"We're all here for a higher purpose.

"Maybe...maybe we should just use our powers to help our parents."

ALL LAUGH

"No!

"We must keep it a secret...shh...

"If they find us, they will come after us and they will KILL US!"

ALL LAUGH

Huh? What do you suggest, Mr I'm-Very-Strong(?)

Parvati.

-What's your bloody plan?

-No, stop!

Parvati.

We all have to stay together, na?

Isn't that right?

I mean, don't you all see everything else is breaking apart?

Languages, religions, countries...

We can show people a new way of being.

Get up.

Shiva!

Now, listen to me.

Nobody can stop us. Hm?

We can blind people.

Make gold.

Fly.

Read minds. Do jaadu.

How will they fight us?

The world is not ideas, rich kid.

The world is things.

If you have things, you have time to dream.

Hm? If you don't...

..you fight.

ALL MURMUR No, Shiva. No, no fighting.

Look, people aren't things, man.

People need each other.

And it's not about flying, or blinding, or gold...or magic!

-And our powers aren't for fighting.

-It's this.

-Shiva, stop!

-You don't understand. They don't care about us!

No fighting, guys! Please.

I think Saleem's right!

We should start a coup!

No! Enough! No coup!

-Shut up.

-Hey, rich kid!

ALL YELL

Agh!

Shiva!

Shiva, don't do this. Stop!

Try to understand, Shiva! Don't do this!

ALL BAY

Shh. Shut up!

How about I finish this right now!

More?

No!

The Midnight's Children conference is hereby dissolved!

Its constitution is abrogated!

Its assemblies are suspended! I abolish it!

SILENCE

MUSIC PLAYS: Who's Sorry Now? by Connie Francis

Good morning, General Zulfikar.

You wanted me, Emerald Auntie?

How long has it been now, Saleem?

Quite a long time, you'll agree?

-Yes.

-Such a helpful boy. Love you.

I told your ma, she must have you back.

To be fair, she's been on your side all along.

Your pater wants to make a fresh start here in Pakistan.

So you'll be joining them at Alia's place, in Karachi.

Oh! Oh, sorry!

What are you doing?! Out! Idiot, out of my sight!

Yes, Emerald Auntie.

HE SNUFFLES

Cheerio, Uncle Zulfi!

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENTS

STREET BUSTLE

-Did your auntie feed you properly?

-Her food is horrible.

I missed your cooking so much. Green chutney.

Oh! Baba...

She didn't come, Mary?

She's waiting at home. Let's go.

Give it to me.

PIANO RECITAL AND SINGING NEARBY

My child.

Ammi.

Terrible things happen in life and we don't know how.

Forgive me.

Be kind to your abba.

He's not been very happy these days.

PIANO RECITAL PLAYS

Hello, Abba.

Abba. Hi.

Hi, Saleem.

Hi.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

Come.

JAMILA SINGS

What happened to me, Mary?

How can my blood be wrong?

Nothing wrong with your blood.

It's my mother's fault.

Don't say that.

She was with other men.

-Shut up, baba!

-I saw it Mary.

I saw it all.

SHE SOBS

Please, Joe.

Help me.

SHE SINGS

Ah, Jamila the singing star has arrived.

She sings very well.

-Thank you, Abba.

-You're welcome, darling.

Five-letter word for "singer".

-Mary. A little more toast, please.

-Ah, "tenor"!

SHE SNUFFLES

Sir. Madam.

Madam, please.

What's wrong, Mary?

What happened?

Baba is not your son.

He's Winkie and Vanita's son.

No, he is not.

Vanita's child's father is not Winkie.

It's that...that Englishman...

-Methwold.

-Methwold.

He's gone back to England and poor Vanita, she's dead now.

She died at midnight.

I was there, Madam.

Sorry, Madam.

Not a nice boy at all.

I'm sorry, Madam.

Let the rich be poor... Poor, rich.

Mary.

Please, just...

leave now.

Baba?

I love you, baba. Like my own son.

SHE WHIMPERS

No! No!

Stop it, Abba!

Stop it, Abba!

Bastard.

Get him out of my sight before I kill him.

No.

What did you say?

He will not go.

No!

Once before you sent him away and I didn't want him to go.

Love is not just born, it's made!

He is my child!

If he goes,

I'll go.

'Despite the revelation of the midnight swap,

'never once did I have any desire

'to search for the Englishman, Methwold

'And never once, to my knowledge, did Ammi and Abba set out

'to look for the true son of their blood.

'I like to think, that in spite of all the heartache,

'my parents loved me.'

CLATTERING, BUBBLING

Parvati?

Saleem?

I know who I am now.

I'm not my ammi's son.

What do you mean?

DISTORTED VOICES

HE SIGHS

Then her child is...?

Saleem, he'll kill you.

You stole his life.

He must never know.

HE SNEEZES

Excuse me.

Abba, what are we doing here?

Abba, why have you brought me here?

-Come with me, Saleem.

-No, I'm not coming.

-Saleem...

-I'm not coming. No! Why am I here?

Look, can't we just talk about this like grown-ups?

They mustn't touch my nose, OK. Do you understand?

-Sit down!

-No, no, no.

You understand, Abba, they mustn't touch my...

You hear that? You are not to touch my nose! Achoo!

Abba! Abba!

Achoo!

Listen to me. Don't! You don't know what you are doing.

You can't! Look, look, you cannot touch my nose.

-It's OK.

-Please, don't! You don't know!

Just be a good fellow and count to ten.

-Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six...

-GAS HISSES

Five. Four. Three. Two.

One. That's it.

DISTANT VOICES

Saleem?

SHE SINGS

SOFT SINGING

Are you there?

All of you?

Parvati?

Parvati?

Where are you?

It's me.

They've all gone. I can't call them any more.

Who's gone? Who's Parvati?

-HE SOBS Everybody!

-Saleem. Just relax.

HE WEEPS

Jamila?

-Hey, put that back!

-No, no, Jamila.

I can smell.

-Through that, you can smell?

-Yes, I can smell everything.

What can you smell?

I can smell your jasmine.

I can smell traffic on the street.

I can smell medicine.

I can smell other things, like...

Love.

Jamila...

I can smell love.

Saleem.

SHE HUMS TO HERSELF

SHE INHALES

SHE SINGS

SONG CONTINUES

-There's going to be a big war, you know.

-Yeah? So?

"Yeah, so"(?)

-So which side are we on?

-I know which side I'm on.

You're the one who's confused with your Bombay this, Bombay that.

-I'm not confused.

-Aren't you?

Oh, maybe.

REVS MOTOR

INTRO PLAYS

SONG ENDS

APPLAUSE

War draws closer every minute.

The Indian enemy rises in strength.

But we too are strong,

and beti, your voice will make us stronger.

It will inspire our soldiers to victory!

-Pakistan!

-ALL CHANT

'Crazed by the war fought by both the countries

to which I had belonged,

'I rode the night streets of Karachi...'

Stop! Final warning!

'..looking for death.'

What are you doing! Bring him! Bring him! Bring him!

-Because of me, you see! Because of my crime.

-What crime?

-It's nothing, ya. The poor man is cracked.

-Easy, easy, OK.

SHOUTING

DISTANT EXPLOSIONS

WHISTLING PROJECTILE

CRASHING

GLASS SHATTERS

FIRE CRACKLES

Everything is...tickety-boo.

CLANGING

RUMBLING

AIR-RAID SIREN WAILS

'Most of my family died in that war.

'I, orphaned, survived.

'For six years, I slept, brained by a silver spittoon.

'Wiped clean, remembering nothing.'

HEARTBEATS THUD

'After six years, I awoke, and was shipped off to another war.'

Torch, please.

'This time, a civil war.'

Awake, are we? Right on time to get shipped off to East Pakistan.

'Pakistan's East Wing fighting for its independence against the West.'

ENGINES ROAR

Shahid.

No memory.

Refuses to talk. All he's good for is sniffing, yeah.

-He gives me the creeps, ya.

-Creeps?

Nobody's home.

HE LAUGHS

ENGINES DRONE

'In three short weeks, Pakistan had lost half its navy

'a third of its army, and a quarter of its air force.

'By the time I tumbled into the war, it was all over.'

DISTANT PLANE ENGINES

SINGING

SALEEM GROANS

HE GROANS

General.

HELICOPTER POWERS DOWN

Good. That's that.

I'm sorry for your loss in the battle, Zulfi.

Thank you, sir.

Shiva?

Our most decorated officer. He fought quite a battle.

Good show, Major.

Zulfi.

FANFARE PLAYS

'When General Zulfikar surrendered to his old friend,

'General Aurora of India,

'Pakistan also lost more than half its population,

'who became citizens of Bangladesh.

'In those days, all our wars were fights between friends.'

CHEERING, DRUMMING

'Magicians had been brought from India to entertain the crowds,

'and that day, everyone believed in magic.'

CHEERING, MUSIC PLAYS

Parvati.

Parvati.

Parvati the witch! MUSIC FADES

Parvati! Parvati!

Parvati the witch!

Parvati!

-Saleem?

-"Saleem"?

Saleem! That's it!

And I thought I was dreaming the whole thing.

Come!

MUSIC PLAYS

Abracadabra.

Abracadabra.

Abracadabra.

SINGING, BELLS JINGLE

Hey, you there! Hurry up, they're boarding the plane.

Sir.

What's in this?

Don't disturb her. It's a personal snake.

HISSING

-And this one?

-It's empty, sir. Take a look.

Very good.

-Gather your belongings and board the aircraft.

-Is it OK?

'And so it came to pass that without passport or permit,

'I returned in Parvati's basket of invisibility to India.

'My India. The land of my birth.'

Abracadabra.

Abracadabra. Abracadabra.

Saleem?

LAUGHTER

Picture Singh-ji?

-Bye, Saleem.

-Bye.

"Picture Singh.

"The most charming man in the world.

"charm your friends with that Eastman Kodak." That's me.

Captain.

Parvati is a good girl.

Very sensible girl.

But she's an orphan.

She's your good friend.

How to take care of her?

Any idea?

Picture-ji! HE LAUGHS

Chai.

OK.

MUEZZIN CALL TO PRAYER

Abracadabra.

Finally, I have someone who knows my magic is real.

Why don't you tell the others?

..magicians who believe in real magic?

They don't want witches around here.

Not even Picture Singh?

Not even Picture Singh.

Midnight's Children.

You and me.

That's something else.

HE GASPS

Parvati.

-Parvati, please, talk to me.

-No, you talk to me, Saleem!

It... It changes.

I'm sorry.

Are you too grand for me, huh? Remember I know a secret about you.

-You haven't told anyone.

-I could have.

I met the other one.

-"The other one"?

-The one you're scared of.

He was there at the victory parade. The biggest hero of the whole war.

Your old buddy.

-You met him?

-Yes.

And you told him.

No.

But maybe I should send for him.

"Send for him"?

And you think he'll come to you?

To hell with you!

No further, Picture-ji.

Come to me.

Abracadabra.

Come to me.

'Certain ironies must not pass unnoticed,