Papadopoulos and Sons

This programme contains some strong language.

Orphaned when he was just a boy,

Harry Papadopoulos came to this country with nothing.

Harry was a grafter, entering the restaurant trade as a young man.

That's a euphemism for Greek waiter, isn't it?

CROWD CHUCKLES

Only joking, Harry.

He then started the now-famous Papadopoulos and Sons,

doing all things Greek,

from taramasalata to olive oil and frozen moussakas,

which I must admit, my wife and I are partial to occasionally.

Not one to settle, Harry's made the move into commercial property,

where he's about to embark on one of the most audacious developments yet,

Papadopoulos Plaza -

a two-million square foot redevelopment

in the heart of our great city.

APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you European Entrepreneur of the Year,

Harry Papadopoulos.

APPLAUSE

That's lovely. Now, just hold it up a bit for me. Yeah, that's nice.

-Bunch in a little.

-Just look at the camera.

-Little bit more. Perfect.

-Now, touch the vase for me, if you don't mind.

-Touch it?

-What a perv.

-Oh, Katie... You're the p-p-p-perv.

-And you're the f-f-f-freak.

-Shush!

-Come, guys. Big smiles!

-Big smiles for me!

-Did you really work in a restaurant, Daddy?

-A long time ago. Touch it.

-This is supposed to be a celebration!

What's the Greek word? Is it, er...opa? Opa?

Touch the vase.

Cheese!

Congratulations from the Prime Minister.

-Sir Derek Otterly was there today, Mrs Parrington.

-Mm. Don't know him.

Sir Derek? You must remember him, he's been to the house.

-They all blur.

-That's because they're all so dull.

Weird... Gold doing well, tech stocks down.

-Nice one, Mrs P.

-Thanks, Dave. Do you want to stay for supper?

I'd best not, I've got some dinner at home.

That's a nice vase, innit?

European Entrepreneur of the Year.

It's impressive.

-Dave, did you g-get my cuttings?

-I did, mate. It's the greenhouse.

I got you a caryopteris and a philadelphus.

-Cheers, man. Thank you.

-See yous later.

-See you tomorrow.

Daddy, what did Papadopoulos and Sons borrow for the

-property development?

-About 300 million.

Never mind the trials and tribulations of the stock market,

finish your supper, young man!

Nanny P!

Eat up or there's no pudding. I made you a nice sponge.

-Two, four, eight...

-All right.

-..16, 32, 64, 128...

-That's enough.

Something is happening with inter-bank lending, Daddy.

We'll talk about it tomorrow.

It's going to be a long summer.

Taking them to a business award ceremony is hardly a family day out.

SHE SIGHS

My suggestion was a cottage in Lyme Regis.

Dave, I need to talk to you about James.

It's... Look you really should be doing that out the back.

-Yeah, sorry.

-Look, it's, er...

He needs to complete his degree and this gardening, the horticulture,

-the plants...

-Yeah, yeah.

-It's a huge distraction.

I was just helping him out during the holidays.

Yeah, well, I need him to complete his studies

and you're diverting his attention.

And frankly, it's not what I pay you for.

Please don't be so churlish.

You know, if you worked for my company, you'd probably be fired.

Yeah.

Is there anything else?

No. That's it.

Goodnight, Mr Papadopoulos.

James?

JAMES TRIES TO SPEAK

Relax.

Calm down.

JAMES TRIES TO SPEAK

You need to learn how to...

You really need to learn how to express yourself more calm...

Wanker.

Wanker!

DOOR CLOSES

KNOCK ON DOOR

James, can I come in?

"It's not the strongest who survive, nor the most intelligent,

"but those adaptable to change."

Fascinating. Charles Darwin.

Aww, look at that!

-And that's...

-Did you know that the average garden contains over

3.5 million species?

No, I didn't.

Dad, I'm not going back to it.

But it's only a year and then you've got a law degree.

I have no intention of running...

Papadopoulos and Sons.

I can't even pronounce it.

Look...

..finish your studies. The plants...

you know, it's a hobby, sure.

Give yourself options. You may change your mind about the business.

-You know, there a lot of creative roles now in business.

-Like what?

Like marketing.

All right, defer the final year.

Take a year out, why not? Fine...

but don't quit.

-Your mother would have said the same.

-Would she?

Well, your mother would probably have said, do what you feel

was right, but I'd argue she was wrong.

And then we'd argue, probably. And she'd win.

That was your mother.

At least consider deferring.

OK. I'll consider deferring.

Yeah? Great!

Great. So, there you are. It's not a definitely not.

What's this one called?

It's an ivy.

DOORBELL RINGS

Mrs P?

Mrs P?!

Look, I'd better...

Hey...

..well done for...

..you know.

Closed?

Yes, please.

Evening, boss. Sorry to disturb. I work for a homeless charity...

-Sorry. No, thanks.

-New dish cloths?

-I know how you people operate.

-I've got a badge.

No mention of a charity.

Come on, boss. Give us a break.

I'm trying to earn a living here. Look, I've got tea towels,

surface cleaners, scrubbers, brushes, window sprays,

chamois for drying the car.

-Cars...

-Daddy, you need to see the news!

Hello there, mini boss.

Who's that man?

He's a... He's a... He works for a charity.

-Is it a cake sale?

-Cakes?

Did you say cakes? Did he say cakes?

-How do you know that's what I want to do, open up a cake shop?

-Cakes?

-Really?

-Cupcakes, individually decorated gingerbread men,

bite-size apple strudels, gooey fudge balls, mini-muffins...

As well as traditional fare.

I've got a business plan and everything. It'll be egalitarian,

but feel...exclusive.

Sort of my mission statement, really.

"Progressive people's cake shop."

-With progressive pricing.

-That's very good.

I know a thing or two about the food business, as well.

Really? I'm looking for investors.

Retail's not for me, I'm afraid. Staff - nightmare!

Nick your cakes, upset your customers and then do you

-for wrongful dismissal.

-Thanks for the encouragement.

Let's buy something! The news, Daddy!

How much for, er...

It's a chamois.

-Whatever. How much?

-The chamois? It's a chamois.

-I'm not going to say that word.

-Why not?

Cos it's a silly word and I don't know what it's for.

And I don't know if you are genuine.

And I'll probably never use it.

DOOR CLOSES

Oh, a chamois!

Come look, Daddy.

Turn it up.

'Panic, confusion and chaos.' PHONE RINGS

'They said it couldn't happen again,

'but today it just did, sending shock waves through...'

-What's going on?

-Another bank collapse.

Nicholas.

-Yeah, I'm watching now. It's insane.

-'..the bank is put into liquidation.

'It comes as a shock...'

I don't know, why don't you call him?

All right. I'll see you first thing tomorrow. Bye.

Will this have repercussions on your loan?

That's a very good word, Theo. Isn't it?

Daddy?!

-Hm?

-Repercussions...

It's a good word.

Mm. Yes, sorry. Yes.

It's a very good word.

They've revalued the property, they're calling in their guarantees.

You need to find 30 mil now. Six months to find the rest.

And if we don't?

What happens?

They'll put you and everything you own into administration.

Harry, you took out crazy loans.

-Our business is making feta cheese, for God's sake.

-Nai.

You gambled it on a shopping mall.

I could really do without these comments, right now.

I am the finance director of this company, Harry.

You never listened. Never. It always had to be bigger. Better.

Like these offices.

We didn't need these offices.

Do you know how much we paid for that work of art up there? Do you?

200 grand.

200 grand...

for a fish.

-What do you want me to do, Nick?

-Our business was profitable, Harry.

I was going to retire in two years.

I'd like to bring that forward.

You're resigning? Now? The accountants are coming in.

Sorry, Harry.

HE SPEAKS GREEK

-Nicholas!

-No, it's enough. It's enough.

Nicholas! Can you believe that?

Shit, fan and hitting. Hey, Fat Laki!

You know why they call this guy Fat Laki?

Oh, wow. Well, congratulations.

I stopped eating bread. It's sad, though.

I love bread. But what can you do?

This is Sophie, just relocated from our New York office.

Hello, I'm really pleased to meet you. Can I just say,

I'm a huge fan of Greek food.

-Especially the cakes. I love baklava.

-Great.

Ship's going down and we've got baklava.

So, I take it the banks are pulling the rug?

What are the bastards proposing?

They've demanded the 300 million we borrowed.

-30, by close of play.

-Sweet mother of God, they are sons of bitches.

They've taken a new position on the value of the property development.

It's triggered the guarantees.

Can you sell it?

It's not even a building site yet.

So, it's bankruptcy.

Put something offshore, I said. He wanted to pay his taxes.

Maybe, I should have been more Greek about it.

-Hey, it's bankruptcy, baby. Not a disaster.

-Accountants!

When it's good they get paid. When it's bad they get paid.

I want my son to be a lawyer for the same reason.

He doesn't get it.

So, what are the options?

Well, the obvious is to buy back your own business.

Trick is finding the investors to back you.

And the banks will sell back to me because...?

Because nobody makes pink slop like you do, Harry.

The banks just want a quick sale. They have no interest in running

your business.

Let's jump on it.

I'll talk to private equity firms, VCs, angels - the usual suspects.

We'll find someone.

What doesn't break you, makes you.

Ah, therapy! Don't charge me for that, will you?

Rob, don't let her charge me for that!

MUSIC PLAYS THROUGHOUT: Magissa Thessaloniki (Nyfoula tou Thermaikou) by Mario, Hontronakos

They're going through my things. It's disgusting!

-I know, darling. It's temporary, you'll get it all back.

-Morning.

Oh, hi(!)

-Problem!

-This is the kitchen.

-Fabulous finishes!

-How long is this going to take?

-Most of the day, I should think.

-And what are we allowed to keep?

-Ah, well, according to the asset sheet,

let's see. Erm...

..not very much.

Little rats with their little claws.

-That's quite unnecessary, Katie.

-We may as well do this now.

That's a nice computer.

Oh, don't worry. We're not going to take it.

-Now(!)

-HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

-Anything interesting?

-Stocks! Everyone's selling, I'm buying.

-Two, four, eight, 16...

-Double your numbers quietly, Theo.

And apologise.

Otherwise I'll confiscate that wretched computer for a week.

Sorry(!)

There's no easy way of doing this.

You have impeccable taste, by the way.

-It's not mine.

-We operate on very strict guidelines...

We have your range of Greek dips at home. Don't we, Rupert?

And as I was saying, we operate on very strict guidelines.

So, what is legally ours?

Well, the bank will let you keep £25,000 in cash

and you're each allowed £1,000 in personal items.

My Westwood Gold Label cost more than that!

It's such a beautiful dress. I couldn't resist looking.

-I love it, too.

-(I'll sort something out for you.)

-(Thank you.)

-Nigel...

-You seem like such a lovely family.

-We hate doing this.

-Nigel!

-Right.

So, 25K cash

and 1,000 in...

personal items.

CAR ENGINES STARTS

What else?

Well, one thing that came up in the meeting with HQ this morning -

the fish and chip shop. The Three Brothers?

-What fish and chip shop?

-Well, that went years ago.

Well, the bank is unable to seize it as an asset, because of its

co-ownership with a, er, Spiros Papadopoulos.

-Right.

-Yes, that's his brother.

But they haven't spoken in years.

It was so strange. Oh, James...

more lemon, son.

Oh-ho! This is so good, Mrs P.

In all the years...

I've never stopped thinking about you.

-Or your food!

-Ah, still so charming.

Mm... It's true.

So...

I'm sitting there, watching the telly...

and suddenly, I see Papadopoulos and Sons.

-On the TV!

-Daddy over-leveraged himself.

HE LAUGHS

Look at this little Englezo!

Hey! I'm your Uncle Spiros, ey! I'm your uncle!

I'm going to eat him, he's so cute.

Please, don't eat me.

He's just like his mother. A little Englishman.

That's because my mummy was English.

Ah!

I know, ey!

So, I'm watching the news and I'm thinking,

"What's my baby brother gone and done, now?"

And just at that moment, as I'm thinking that thought -

in the same split second -

the phone rings and it's him!

I mean, it's got to be some kind of quantum physics there, no?

No?

It's...insane. Insane.

Katie? You're so grown-up.

I can't believe this.

You were, like, just a girl.

Dumpy and spoiled.

Look at you now...

-Well, she's still a little spoiled.

-Nanny P!

And dumpy.

Not so dumpy.

Ah, James!

Sweet baby James. When you were three...

How old was he? Three or four?

..we used to play fight. Remember?

You loved to fight.

You broke my nose. Yeah!

-Fuck, that hurt!

-Spiros!

-Oh...sorry!

Duck! I said, "Duck!"

-Quack, quack.

-I know what you said.

Don't tell your father. Quack, quack!

HE CHUCKLES

Harry, thank you for phoning me.

No, seriously. I am so grateful.

There's...

..I know there's so much we need to sort out, you and I.

-Well...

-But we should be celebrating.

Yeah!

I don't drink any more - just so you know -

but you don't have to be drunk to dance. That's what I say now.

-"You don't have to be drunk to dance!"

-Fantastic.

So, look. We're losing the house and, well, everything.

-What?

-It's only temporary.

I'm in negotiation with a top corporate finance team

to buy it back. But in the meantime, I need to free up some capital.

I'll give you whatever I've got. You know, I don't have much money...

I don't want your money, Spiro.

I want to sell The Three Brothers.

We split 50-50. I get enough money to pay the rent, pay a few bills...

and it's great for you, because you get some cash to do

whatever it is you want to...do.

-We can't sell The Three Brothers.

-I knew it.

I knew you'd be difficult. I knew it. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.

-You haven't changed.

-No, it doesn't feel right.

-You're loving this.

-Oh, Harry! I want to help.

-Can't you see we're in the shit?!

-Gentlemen, please!

May I suggest we sleep on this.

Before it gets out of hand.

Yeah. This is good advice, Mrs P.

Harry...

-Harry!

-OK, whatever.

TRADITIONAL GREEK MUSIC PLAYS THROUGHOUT

I couldn't sleep last night. Not a wink!

Over and over in my mind, I was trying to imagine selling the shop.

Something here was saying, "No. No!"

I want to help you.

All of you.

So, I prayed for guidance and I asked the universe,

"Please, help me. Please, help me help these people."

And I must've fallen asleep not long after. A crazy sleep.

And then, this dream.

There was this...this music.

The most incredible music.

And you and me, Harry, running the shop.

I woke up with tears in my eyes and I knew...

Sorry, what are you going on about?

We're going to reopen The Three Brothers.

HE LAUGHS

Brilliant!

Is he talking about us?

-Yeah, I think he is.

-There's nothing there!

Exactly. It's empty, useless.

We'd get nothing for it.

But if we made The Three Brothers great again...

Hey! That is our destiny!

OK, it needs work, sure.

But destiny needs work.

You're still crazy.

We have... You - you have a better chance of getting through this

if we increase the value of the shop.

I'm not opening a fish and chip shop. I'm Papadopoulos and Sons.

-I'm on supermarket shelves.

-Oh, God. What would I tell my friends?

-I don't know, maybe the truth? SHE MIMICS HIM:

-"I don't know, maybe the truth."

-God. Fuck off!

-F-F-Fuck you.

-Enough!

People, hear me out. If we get it up and running again,

we can sell it as a going concern, instead of an empty shop.

This deal that you're working on could take ages.

In the meantime, you're getting cash in AND you're saving money.

Because it's got two bedrooms. Eh?

The Three Brothers is a gold mine. Used to be.

-Can be again.

-When did you become so practical?

I'll get it fixed. I'm a handyman now.

Oh, I thought you were a waiter, Spiros?

Around too much booze, Mrs P.

I went travelling. Belgium, America, Brooklyn...

I ended up managing a block of apartments in LA.

I do painting, decorating, plumbing, electrics, everything.

A man who can fix things.

I've got a van.

Oh, it's all right, everyone. Don't panic. He's got a van(!)

Let's go look at the shop. Let me go and start working on it now.

You're out of your mind. I know what you're up to.

You want to make some money for yourself.

That's fine, it's OK. It's OK. At least you're thinking smart these days.

But don't involve us in all this.

-I want to help.

-Given the current situation...

..I think it's worth considering.

What?! I'm not opening a fish and chip shop!

I'm not!

I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! I'M NOT!

NOT!

What?

May I have a private word?

Now.

-You're behaving like a child.

-Mrs Parrington, with all due respect...

-You are the father of this family.

-..I'd rather boil my own head than go back to a chip shop.

What a terrible thing to say. Really.

He's unreliable, Mrs P. He's irresponsible. He's a talker.

He sings. He dances. He plays the bongo drums. He's a waiter.

He'll drive us all mad and leave us broke.

He seems reformed to me. He doesn't drink any more, I think he wants to help.

Moving back to a chip shop will destroy my children's confidence.

Seeing you behave like a spoiled brat will do that perfectly well.

We're going to smell of fish and chips.

The children need a home.

I don't give a fig for your bourgeois snobbery.

Look at you. Everything has to be a drama with you Greeks.

Show some gumption, man!

TRADITIONAL GREEK MUSIC PLAYS

So many memories!

Are we really going to live in that?!

I'm trying to find something good.

And?

No. Nothing.

Nonsense. You'll love it!

We're going to have a crazy time.

We're going to fix this place up. I'm going to teach you how to do some Greek dancing, some singing.

We'll fry some good fish. We'll laugh.

Good times! Good times!

MUSIC CONTINUES

-I don't believe it!

-What?

-The Greeks are back.

-What Greeks?

-Those Greeks.

Hello, my old friends.

Mehmet, find out what they're up to.

See?

It looks much worse from the outside.

It's actually a fish and chip shop.

Of course it is, you spanner.

Daddy, really?

What's this?

This is Mr Charles. Our lucky fish.

He helped us make the busiest chip shop in London.

I can smell the past.

Your father and I - young!

The women - young!

Making good money!

Wasting it.

Gambling it.

Losing it.

-HE TUTS

-Happy days!

-It's a crack den!

-Don't worry...

..let me show you the rest. We'll make it homely.

Furniture, beds, TV. Come on.

Let me show you. So, here is the prep room, where we prepare the fish and...

There is a living room... You can put a in TV here.

And there is...

PHONE RINGS

Mortimer, Rolf and Jones.

Hello. Could I speak to Rob?

'He's not at his desk. Can I take a message?'

-It's Harry Papadopoulos.

-Oh, hi. It's Sophie.

We met at your office the other day.

Oh, hi.

'Any news?'

We're lining up interest.

'Right...'

Er... Well, I, um...I just need to know...

I need to know if this is going to work.

Rest assured. We'll be driving the herd to Abilene.

-Sorry?

-Oh. It's an old American Midwest expression. It's er...

Are you OK, Mr Papadopoulos?

Yup, all good.

Er... Just keep me informed, please.

Of course.

Harry Papadopoulos called. You should call him back.

Let's go out, yeah? Let's celebrate. Let's find, I don't know, let's find a salsa club or something, huh?

-Sorry?

-IN AMERICAN ACCENT:

-Daddy just put another pig in the bag. OUCH(!)

New instruction - Wallinghams. Big UK retail chain - established.

# Leave it, leave it to Wallinghams. #

"Comfortably, elegantly, reliably, Wallinghams! Croydon, Greenwich, Enfield, Wimbledon."

And... DING! Going into administration. Coming to little old moi for services rendered.

-AS TOMMY COOPER:

-Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you very much.

God, I love an economic downturn!

Joking aside, though - 5,000 laid off. Sad. Very, very sad.

But dear sweet mother of God, it was a shit business.

-Happy days.

-Oh, yeah.

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-Hallelujah.

Six?

Two, four, eight, 16...

-Two, four, eight...

-Daddy, come look at this giant mushroom I found!

Coming.

Yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey!

Remember up here? Hm?

We used to bring out the tables and the chairs with the other Greeks.

What ever happened to Soula, Pani and Stavros.

I loved that crowd.

Sometimes there'd be a poker game, sometimes dancing. We had fun.

Did my daddy dance?

Yeah, I taught him.

And your mother.

-My mummy?

-Mm-hm.

Hey, this is the place where your mummy and your daddy met.

What, up here?

Yeah. They talked all night. They danced.

Yeah, there was a lot of dancing here.

Hey!

You want me to show you? How 'bout it?

Spiros, please. It's not a holiday. Just show everyone around.

What?

I'll show you later.

You all right?

Yeah.

Yeah, no, I like the view.

I might put some plants up here.

-Hello.

-Hi.

-Do you have a light?

You came all this way for a light?

I'm from the kebab shop across the road.

Nice(!)

My dad wants me to spy on you.

I don't think he likes Greeks.

You want to go out sometime?

Yeah, all right.

I'm Mehmet.

It's Katie.

It's shit around here, isn't it?

Yeah.

Pretty much.

Yeah.

-Catch you later.

-Yeah.

Bye.

MUSIC: Athina, Athina by The Trio Attiko

PHONE RINGS

Mortimer, Rolf and Jones.

Oh. Hi, Dad!

Yeah, I got them. They're beautiful. Thank you.

All right, put her on.

-He's here.

-(Right, just a second.)

Hi, Mom.

Thanks for the flowers. They're lovely.

There was nothing wrong with New York.

Yes, you can stay friends with Matt.

And Bill and Susan.

Mom, look, I've got a meeting.

I don't know, just some meeting.

Yeah, I promise I will.

I love you.

OK, bye.

Parents!

Is Matt your, um...

-Ex.

-Right.

A bit of a tosser, yeah?

I wouldn't say tosser, exactly.

We just wanted different things.

Yada, yada, yada. Yeah, I hear ya.

It's like me and my ex. She was keen and everything, but...

I don't know, her forward thinking sort of killed the romance, you know?

It's good to have these little chats, yeah?

Shouldn't always be about work. Society is so work obsessed.

Tragic.

Right. Back to work.

-Some big names.

-Pap & Sons is still a cash cow.

What's the potential deal structure?

That's the pisser.

You'd still be key to running the business, but...

But?

Money isn't cheap, Harry.

These guys will want at least 95% of the company.

Leaving me with nothing. I'd do the same thing.

I'd be CEO of Papadopoulos & Sons.

Get a salary.

Get my house back.

My children's future.

-Beats fish and chips.

-You'd be working for someone else.

I'd be working for someone else.

By the way, I'm not actually running a fish and chip shop.

-Just helping my brother re-launch.

-Sure.

Listen, there may be another way.

It came up in conversation with the Norske Velconan Bank.

It'd be along the lines of a straight loan to buy back the business.

-Why would they lend to me?

-Well, let's ask them. Do you want me to look into it?

-Sure. No choice.

OK, cool.

Got to go. Got an emergency. Wait, get this...

A hi-tech portable toilet company that has literally gone down the tubes.

An internet-ready, wireless crapper

with a waterproof keyboard and screen, for the love of God.

Because taking a dump needed an overhaul?

So, somebody's got to bury them.

In nomine Patris, et Spiritus Sancti, etc, etc...

Got to love a downturn(!)

Laters.

I think what you are currently doing with your brother sounds liberating.

I'm liberating myself from my last 25 grand on a disused chip shop.

But it's like a start-up.

Isn't that the most exciting phase of any venture?

Taking a bit of risk. Developing your products and your services.

Learning about your market.

Look, some of the largest companies on the planet never make a profit.

Like, a real profit. It's all accounting tricks and leveraged debt.

What I'm trying to say is...

does it matter if the business is a small one?

As long as it makes a profit and the people who work there are happy?

What are you doing working in a place like this?

This is only temporary. I got divorced recently.

Came to London for a fresh start.

I'm actually looking into setting up my own business.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

About the divorce, I mean. Not...

I've been meaning to ask. Can I come and visit your shop sometime?

-There isn't one.

-When it's up and running.

It's a chip shop.

It's hot. On your feet all hours.

Verbal abuse from costumers on a Friday night.

I wasn't applying for a job, Harry.

I just wanted to stop by.

KNOCK ON DOOR

It's late!

What are you doing, little man?

Trading.

I watch trends... making trades based on patterns.

I don't even look at the fundamentals.

The fundamentals?

You know - capital employed, gearing ratios, etc.

Not even profit or turnover. It's short term, but I can spot a trend.

I know what's going to happen.

So, you can see the future?

-And?

-Same as the past.

The pursuit of order from chaos.

I'm done for today.

Ah, Theo, Theo, Theo.

HE SPEAKS GREEK

Sweet dreams.

Uncle Spiros?

You knew my mummy?

Yes.

She was...

she was beautiful.

And she was very kind to me.

I wish I had my mummy sometimes.

It's very hard for you.

I'd have made her laugh, Uncle Spiros.

You make me laugh.

I've come out with some classics. Real gems.

Wasted on this family.

HE LAUGHS

You are something else!

-We can hear everything.

-Don't fall for him, Spiros.

He's a little tinker.

-Say the magic release poem.

-No.

-Yeah, actually say the magic release poem.

-No!

Theo Papadopoulos is a Hippopotamus

He's always making such a fuss

From his toe to bottomus.

HE LAUGHS

Ah, your kids! They're something.

Don't worry. I'm not TOO religious.

I'm a lapsed Buddhist.

I do everything a good Buddhist does. Except abstinence.

PFF-FF-RRR-T!

Ear plugs?

This is a fantastic thing.

Did you ever imagine 30 years ago? Back here?!

No.

Remember how excited we felt when we first got this place?

It feels like that again!

Hey...

My gut says posh Alaskan pollock over cod.

-What do you think?

-I should never have taken out that loan.

We'll talk fish after we fix this place.

(We'll talk fish after we fix this place!)

Katie's got some good thoughts. Says we should keep the old look.

Hmm?

And she had some beautiful ideas about the uniforms.

But then, you know, the potential yield of the plaza,

Papadopoulos Plaza,

fully developed with a 1,000-year lease.

I'd have kept the freehold.

I'm telling you, Spiro. It was good.

I'd have been worth a fortune. Worth, I don't know...

One billion five, one billion six.

One billion six!

Big numbers, Spiro. Big, big numbers.

SPIROS SNORES

We were children when we came to the UK. With nothing.

We start again. Fat Laki, the weight you lost is an inspiration.

Phil the Till,

you've helped many Greeks with your tax-friendly till machines.

Hey, only two things are certain in life. Death and taxes.

Unless you're Greek! Then it's only death!

APPLAUSE

Nikos, Kyriaco, Androniki, Loula,

Uncle Panico, Aphrodite, Maria and, of course, Father Jimmy.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Didn't Father Jimmy get done for selling illegal copies of Rambo?

He owns three liquor stores in Palmers Green.

He always hated me.

People, hello. Sorry, hi.

Just want you to know this is a temporary situation for the family.

I'm currently in negotiation with a top corporate finance team

about re-acquiring the assets of Papadopoulos & Sons. That's it.

-What did he say?

-He's had some sort of breakdown.

-Tragic.

James! Music!

MUSIC: Opa, Opa Ta Bouzoukia by the Delphi Brothers

Thank you.

I officially announce the renovation

of the Three Brothers.

You're supposed to do that when you launch something.

To hell with convention.

GLASS SMASHES

APPLAUSE

HE SPEAKS GREEK

MUSIC: Opa, Opa Ta Bouzoukia by the Delphi Brothers

Ante, Laki. Pes mas.

-Tell us.

-Entaksi. Don't rush me.

It's been a long time since I had meat like this.

-What's he doing?

-He's assessing the competition.

HE SPEAKS GREEK

There's a reason why Hassan is still in business.

Texture - very good. Way above average. Meat content - high.

Mechanically recovered cheap rubbish? You wish!

This is a quality doner.

Nicely cooked, with all the right combination of herbs.

-It's beautiful!

-It doesn't mean we can't take them on.

No. I'm not saying we can't.

DOOR CLOSES

-Yes?

-Sorry. I...

What do you want?

That's a lot of Greeks.

What? We're going out.

Not too late.

Well, she is 18.

We'll make a better product at a cheaper price with larger portions.

We'll lose money on the kebabs in the short term.

Put the Turks out of business.

Make our margins on the fish and when the rest of this

crummy street's packed up, we'll raise our prices

and cut our portion sizes.

The entrepreneur has spoken.

Hey. It's temporary, but as long as we're here, we'll do some business.

EGGS SIZZLE

You know, when he was a little boy,

he'd come home from school and sit there.

Just like that.

Who was the third...brother?

Michael.

He died in the fire with our parents, your grandparents,

in Cyprus, in the war between the Greeks and the Turks.

How did you both escape?

-Spiros climbed down, and Michael, who was...six...

-Yes.

-..dropped me down. I was just a baby.

-I caught him.

But Michael, he... told Mihali to jump, but...

He ran right back into the house.

I'll never know why. One night everything changes.

He probably wanted to save his mum and dad.

You know what?

I never thought about that. You could be right. Yeah.

You're a wise boy, James. Your soul is old.

Tell me, this has always been a big question for me for many years.

Do you think I could've done something else? For Michael?

-No, you were holding a baby.

-Yeah.

-And how old were you?

-I was nine.

You were only a boy, like Theo.

Hmm.

H?

Hello?

What's wrong with him?

Hey! Don't worry. It's temporary.

(Excuse me.)

Did I say something wrong?

KNOCK ON DOOR

He was only nine.

I'd never thought about how young he was.

I brought you this.

Tea.

James?

Come here.

Sit down.

-I've let you and your brother and your sister down.

-Dad!

I made a promise to your mother that I'd take care of you.

-And you're doing that.

-This is humiliating for you.

Dad, we'll get through this.

Like...

I don't know.

King Lear.

I don't know the story.

Well, um...

King Lear loses everything.

Absolutely everything. He finds himself in the middle of a storm.

With nothing.

And...his kids... They hate him.

-They think he's a prick.

-What happens to him?

Well, uh, he dies.

-Oh.

-But it has to end like that. Because it's a tragedy.

I'm sorry about your plants.

-I can grow new ones.

-Why you didn't bring more with you?

-I didn't want to get in the way.

-You're such a sweet boy.

Get that from your mother. Your stammer's getting better.

You know what? I'm going to go get your plants. Now.

-From the house.

-What? Right now?

-Yeah.

I'm going to go get your plants.

Like King Lear, yeah?

Uh, yeah. Sort of.

GREEK MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO

There you go.

Oh, no! No. No. No.

THEY LAUGH

Let me see that!

That's perfect.

-Hey.

-Daddy!

-Hello.

What's going on?

-We're making...batter.

-Uncle Spiros' special mix.

-That's all I could find.

-Thank you.

-It's very late.

Oh.

-I said they could help.

-It's the holidays.

Uncle Spiros said I could make beer and vodka batter.

It doesn't sound very good.

LAUGHTER

Hey, you can stay up.

It's the holidays. Tomorrow we'll look through the newspapers.

We'll pick out some stocks. How's that grab you?

Natural resources is a good buy.

Hey, wait. Show us your frying skills.

Yeah, I was telling them how you were born with a timer in your head.

-How you fried to perfection every time.

-Not tonight.

-Come on, Dad. Show us how to fillet a fish.

-Go on, Daddy.

Yeah, H, come on. Show us.

Show us.

Show us.

CHANTING: Show us.

ALL: Show us. Show us. Show us...

You should really be thinking about bed, all of you. Goodnight.

Bed?

Mmm!

All right. So. Where are we going?

City. Get a loan. Get the business back. Get the house back.

Does this suit look all right?

-Yeah. It's a suit.

-Oh!

Doesn't... I don't know, it doesn't fit.

I don't believe it. They're kissing.

-Kids. Come on.

-In the street?

-They're smoking. They're hanging out.

-Do they? Are they?

-What?

Are they screwing?

No. They're just kissing.

-Got to get out of this place.

-Come on, he's a sweet guy.

-Out!

-Family's in the gutter.

-You're over-reacting, Harry.

The thought of her pregnant.

In a kebab shop.

Harry, don't worry about Katie.

She can look after herself.

What are you doing?

I've got something to say.

-About Katie? Is she pregnant?

-No.

Oh, God. Have you got cancer?

No.

No, just... Just bear with me.

HE SIGHS

So. Here goes.

"After years of abuse, on my behalf

"and unacceptable behaviour,

"I reached a moment of clarity."

Actually this was two years ago.

-"I'd like to apologise for the hurt I've caused."

-What? Now?

"There were aspects of my behaviour which was unacceptable,

-"which includes, but is not limited to..."

-Why now?

I've been carrying this...

Well, if you don't want to hear, we can do it later.

No. Now's fine. Now's good.

Just...

Er... Ochi.

Ochi.

Skip that.

-"I have abused your generosity."

-I agree with that statement.

"When we were children, and got to London, I looked after you,

"got you ready for school, made you do your homework.

"I taught you to cook, ride a bike, speak Greek, dance..."

Why don't you speak Greek, Harry?

You were reading your list.

"I fought with Steven Klein when he accused

"you of stealing his orthopaedic shoe." Remember that?

Yeah.

-Did you take it?

-No.

You can tell me now.

I didn't steal the shoe. Are you going to read all of that?

-I don't have to.

-Why did it go wrong with us, Spiro?

We may as well get to it.

Why did you turn against me after I left the shop?

-I never turned against you.

-That's what it felt like.

I was jealous of you.

You were my brother.

Brothers get jealous.

You were more than a brother.

You were my life. And then you left. Gone.

I set up the business. I wasn't going to stay in the sh...

-You could have come with me.

-Harry, you were so fast.

You were like a plane, like a supersonic jet.

But I gave you everything you ever wanted.

Did I ever once turn you down in all the years after I left the business?

And after it went bust. But it was never enough.

Every week something new.

Writing a cheque to... I don't know, you had some weird friends.

Who is that bloke with the pin head, kept turning up at the house?

None of my friends any more.

And then drunk at Elizabeth's funeral.

And your big tell-it-as-it-is speech.

I heard about it.

Well. That was it. For me. For us.

You were right to cut me off.

She never had a bad word for you, Elizabeth.

She always forgave you. And she made me forgive you.

Every time.

She did.

I always had a way back when she was with us.

Elizabeth was so good to me.

She was our world.

She was our world.

I'm sorry. I can't.

It's OK, H.

I've got to get to this meeting. It's an important meeting.

It's OK to miss her.

Oh, man.

Just give me a minute.

With the help of Lars and the Norske Velconan Bank

we aim to buy Pap & Sons back from the receivers.

Also, Harry, I have to say, that there's an intuitive bond,

between the Greek and the Nordic people.

Maybe the first Vikings were descended from

the ancient Greeks somewhere in the deepness of time.

It's so...Wagnerian! Ya?

We should point out the new approach.

To buy Papadopoulos & Sons

but divest the food manufacturing side of the business.

Divest the food manufacturing? What else is there?

-Sell off the food but keep the property.

-Papadopoulos Plaza.

-It's going to be worth a fortune!

-It's not what I had in mind.

-It's an asset break-up.

-Tusk. Tusk, yah?

Makes us sound like barbarians.

With the new loan you buy back your old assets

and then sell off the brands in the Pap & Sons stable.

-And you know how to squeeze the value, Harry.

-That's a break-up.

-Please. I know what it is.

-The piTta bread, the cakes,

they get sold to a baker.

The halloumi and feta to a dairy company.

I love your halloumi! Ai-yai-yai! Grilled! It's...!

The sell-off value of these brands will exceed the new loan.

My bank will get its money back faster than you can say "knife".

And what do YOU get?

Lars wants 50% of the plaza development.

Which is what will remain after the debts have been settled.

-So you get 50% of the development for free?

-Sure, yeah.

But you get 50% of the same development, yeah. Also for free.

-What do you want, Harry?

-I want my food business back.

Guys, guys, guys. Reality check. Harry, it's not going to happen.

The best you can hope for is to work with Lars here and save something.

-Can't say no.

-OK, so I need to take this to the board.

Take two, three months, ya?

It seems criminal to buy the business back only to break it up.

Can I just point out that you are skating,

figuratively speaking, on thin fucking ice.

-I'll do whatever the bank wants.

-OK.

Harry, we are going to take this to the hoop, ya? Three points.

Three points!

Taking out a loan to pay off a loan so you can

remortgage a property. It's got nothing to do with business.

-It's got nothing to do with making stuff.

-I get my life back.

-No.

-You get a loan for some land.

-My children get their lives back.

I'm sorry. This isn't very professional.

-Do you give all your clients a hard time, Sophie?

-No.

-Just the interesting ones.

-Have you got five minutes?

Yes, of course.

I just want to talk about the shop.

And make sure my brother has the right plan before I go.

OK. Let's grab a coffee.

So, it's 30% on material.

The fish, the potatoes, the packaging etc.

-Would you include energy? Light? Heat?

-Yes.

-But not rent because we already own the building.

-OK.

And 30% on labour.

-Yes.

-So it's 30, 30, 30, classic restaurant model.

-That's right.

-What are your weaknesses?

The price of fish can vary dramatically.

-Can you vary the menu?

-You don't want to complicate it.

It doesn't have to be complicated, Harry.

What are your fears?

My fears?

Oh.

Just that it won't work out.

-That fish and chips has maybe had its day.

-No. Hang on a second.

Fish and chips. It's a British classic!

Much more than just a quick meaningless experience.

Something to be savoured.

Just think of the soft white cod flakes gently falling away

as your fork pierces the hard, crunchy shell of the golden batter.

The rich smell of the fryer's delight,

the tangy smack of salt and vinegar on your lips.

Hell, yeah! I'd pay for that.

We should talk about...

-We should talk about accounting packages.

-Yeah. We should.

-What?

-This time last year I was in Malibu.

-We'll go tonight!

-It's not a nightclub, it's America.

Oh. Look...

The shop's where I'm from. It's not where I'm going to end up.

My dad must have said that to my mum once.

Maybe even on this bridge.

See. Look where he ended up.

-So what's your plan?

-Property. I've got an eye for it.

I'll probably be a pop star one day.

-Cool.

-Yo, yo, yo

It's time to die, yo yo blue butterfly

He was fat, he was bloated

He was fatally attracted to my light bulb.

-That is well sick!

-Yeah.

I wrote something for you too.

It's a poem. It's called Sometimes I Want For Nothing Else.

Just you and me in an ever-expanding universe

Sharing a cup of tea

Sometimes I want for nothing else.

Fuck. You're amazing.

We start from the side fin on the top, here.

And cut in one move all along the fish to the tail.

Lovely. Come and try. Fresh fish. Lovely hot chips. Delicious fish.

Come and try. Little boy! Battered inside.

Special chip for you. And one for you. Fish and chips.

Come and try. We batter our own fish.

We make beautiful fresh fish inside. Sir, have a chip.

Have a fish. No? None for you. Come and try! Come and try!

-It's not just fish and chips.

-There's room for all of us.

-What do you want, Hassan?

-Remember when we were children?

And we were friends? We weren't Greeks, Turks.

Respectfully, I would like you to take your kebabs off the menu.

-This is a fish and chip shop.

-What do we get?

I won't do fish.

-You DON'T do fish, Hassan.

-You're going to put us on the street.

-It's business.

-It's not about business!

Perhaps you wouldn't be like this if we were Greeks.

I tell you what.

We'll take kebabs off the menu...

..if you ask your son to stay away from my daughter.

-More tea?

-No. Thank you.

-This is very difficult.

-Come on. It's easy.

-My son is his own man.

-Right.

-Then no deal.

-Is it because he's Turkish? Because he's a Muslim?

-No.

-I don't have a problem with that.

-Harry's not like that.

Because he works in a kebab shop, is that it?

-Yeah.

-Harry's more like that.

I'd ask you, both of you,

to respect a man's aspirations for his daughter.

I have similar aspirations for my son.

Spiro?

Perhaps you should remind your brother where he is now.

Tell him to look around.

Perhaps he still sees a big mansion with gardens and servants.

Well, I don't. But, more importantly, neither does my son.

This is only temporary. We'll be gone in a couple of months.

I hope so. It's going to be a very long couple of months.

For both of us.

Say cheese!

CAMERA CLICKS

MUSIC: 5,000 Psemata by Yiorgos Zambetas

So here we are.

Here we are.

I'm sure it will be good news.

If it's good news, Spiro, I want you to have the shop. All of it.

-Will we get to visit Uncle Spiros again?

-Of course we will.

Who's going to help me to run the store?

I'm going to need you, little man.

I expect Uncle Spiros will always find you a holiday job here.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hello. Lars, yeah.

I'm just... I'm just...

-What is it?

-Did you get the loan?

-Bad news, I'm afraid.

-Really?

-Yeah.

We're going home. We got it!

-We're going home.

-Congratulations.

What's wrong?

We're leaving. We're out of here. We got the loan.

-We should be celebrating.

-He's right. It's a good day.

You... You...

..made it.

You're a survivor.

Sorry.

What is it with you, Spiro? Why can't you be happy for me?

Whenever I have any kind of success,

you always have to stamp on it.

Where are you going?

I am happy for you. I am.

-What is it? What's wrong?

-There is this...

SPIROS GROANS

-He looks dead to me.

-No, he's not dead. He's sleeping.

-He's still sleeping.

-Like...

-..Sleeping Beauty?

-Yeah.

That's a good way of looking at it.

Sorry. I hope I'm not...

No. No.

Come in. James? James!

-And take the, er...

-I heard the news and I really wanted

to bake something, so I made a Greek Easter cake.

-Don't ask.

-No, that's really...lovely.

-Thank you very much. We'll have some of that.

-James.

He's in a mild coma, apparently,

and we have to talk to him and play music. James, put the ...

Turn the music...

Hey, wake up!

The accountant's here. You've got to wake up.

TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS

-James!

-Jesus Christ!

-Katie!

-It won't turn off.

-You're such a spanner.

-Fuck off!

-Let me do it.

-Wait, I felt something. Katie, get the doctor.

I don't want to ask.

Oh, for fuck's sake. I'll do it.

-James!

-Excuse me...

Doctor, I felt something just now, a gripping movement.

-Anything else?

-No, just a slight squeeze. Is that a sign?

-It could be a decorticate response. It's difficult to tell.

-Right.

-How long's he going to be like this?

-He suffered a heart attack.

It's hard to predict.

You should all take a break.

-I am sorry about him.

-Yeah. OK. We'll leave it to you.

Say goodbye to Uncle Spiros.

Come on. Let's all go.

-Would you mind staying around, Sophie?

-Of course.

BIG BEN CHIMES

HARRY HUMS A TUNE

So he saved me twice. Once in the fire and once after the bank.

I was always embarrassed by him, you know, by this thing that he does.

But the thing that he does, it's a good thing, really.

These last few months. This year, actually, this whole year.

God, what a year.

What a year!

And yet, I've never felt so alive,

I've never felt so engaged.

Why is that? I mean, why? I'm frying chips!

I love him.

I've always loved him.

And I love my children.

I love...

I love my life. I love it!

Why is that?

Why do I love it now? What was wrong with it before?

-It's OK.

-It's a crazy, crazy world. It's up. It's down.

You fight, you win, you lose, become exhausted, then you leave.

There's no logic. There's no logic. It's insane.

The whole thing.

-No, no, no, Spiro.

-I'll get someone.

-Spiro mou.

SPIROS SIGHS

SPIROS SPEAKS GREEK

You have to let me go.

It's good. Michael's with us.

Michael.

Mihalis was always there.

Always with us.

Always. Three brothers.

When I was a little boy...

..you cooked for me, every time I came home.

They were good times, Spiro.

Efharisto.

SPIROS SPEAKS GREEK

A good life.

Now you understand.

SPIROS SPEAKS GREEK

Did you do this?

It was for you and Uncle Spiros. And Mum.

Thank you, James.

-This is the ivy you saved that night.

-We meet again.

Did you know about this?

They can all go back to the house if you want.

The plants are easy to move.

But they're also very happy to grow here as well,

if we choose to stay.

It's whatever you want to do, Daddy.

We're all really proud of you.

-Thank you.

-Theo mou. Good day at school?

-Very good day.

Impressed the teacher with his ability to solve quadratic equations.

-That is fantastic!

-Your friends are outside.

As you won't come to me, I thought I'd come to you.

-I'm not changing my mind, Rob.

-I just want to talk.

Tell me this is a joke.

I don't want to do the deal.

Harry, you have seriously lost the plot on this one.

-It just doesn't feel right.

-We worked hard on this!

If he doesn't want to do the deal, he doesn't want to do it.

-Shut up!

-Hey! No need for that.

-I don't understand.

-I've got everything I want.

And I've got no debt. That feels good.

When I lock up my shop at night, it feels good.

I've got no debts, no loans.

-I own it, 100%.

-Come on.

A percentage of something that could be worth millions.

-You'd walk away from that? For a chip shop?

-Yeah.

Right now, yeah, I would. And I'm with my children.