All Creatures Great and Small


All Creatures Great and Small

Family drama set in the 1930s about an inexperienced young veterinarian who joins a Yorkshire practice run by an eccentric vet.


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Transcript


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STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS

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DOORBELL RINGS

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DOG BARKS ENTHUSIASTICALLY

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-Yes?

-Good afternoon.

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My name's Herriot.

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Well, I believe Mr Farnon is expecting me.

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Surgery is from six to seven.

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Oh, no. No. He asked me for tea.

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-Did he, now?

-Well, I'm applying for the job, you see.

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Mr Farnon's new assistant.

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Oh. Well, you'd better come in then.

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Go on, get in.

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DOG GROWLS

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I'm Mrs Hall. I keep house for Mr Farnon.

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Leave your bags there.

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-Yes, right.

-He never said anything to me about you coming to tea.

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But still, never mind.

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You'd better wait out there. I've got some shopping to do,

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and if I don't go now I'll be all behind for the rest of the day.

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Sorry I've kept you waiting.

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-The name is Farnon. Siegfried Farnon.

-James Herriot.

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-How do you do?

-How do you do? Look, I've got some calls to make.

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I think you'd better come along, all right?

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Come on!

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-Afternoon, sir.

-Afternoon.

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There's a lame horse here.

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-This is Mr Herriot.

-How do?

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Which leg do you make it?

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Uh...

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Trot her on, please.

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HE ENCOURAGES THE HORSE

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-Near fore, I think.

-Would you like to examine it?

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Yes.

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Yes, of course.

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MOOING

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HE SOOTHES HORSE

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Up. There we go. Up, up, up.

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What do you think it is?

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Pus in the foot, I think.

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Yes, I think you're right. Um...

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What do you suggest we do about it?

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-Open up the sole and evacuate the pus.

-Mm-hmm.

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Right. Off you go.

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There it goes!

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Well done.

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She'll get relief now.

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Well done, Herriot.

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It's not funny, is it? When the horn's as hard as that?

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Right, Mr Sharp, if you'll hold up the hoof a moment,

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-I'll disinfect the cavity.

-Right you are, sir.

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Iodine crystals and turpentine.

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The chemical reaction...

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..drives the crystal deep into the tissue.

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Righto.

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By gum, Mr Farnon!

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It's wonderful what science can do nowadays.

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Whoa, Diamond!

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Yes, it's a family practice, really.

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My father had it for, what,

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28 years, and then before him, my great-uncle.

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Things were different then, of course.

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Had a housekeeper, six servants, full-time gardener,

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not a blade of grass out of place.

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But then the war finished all that, you see.

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Things have never been the same since.

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Oh, yes, things certainly changed in 1918.

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Well, hey-ho.

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£4 a week and full board. How's that?

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Four...?

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You mean I've got the job?

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Yes.

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Whoa.

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Whoa.

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Well, then, what have you found out, young man?

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-Head back, eh?

-Yes.

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Well, you shouldn't have much trouble, then.

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I've seen Mr Farnon bring them out arse-first.

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Wonderful man, Mr Farnon.

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I've never seen him beat yet.

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Finest vet for miles around here, if you ask me.

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Grab hold of that rope, will you?

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Mr Farnon always puts special lubricating stuff on his arms first.

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He says you've got infection of the womb if you use soap and water.

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Yes. Don't you worry about a thing. Whoa, there.

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There's a girl. There's my girl, there's my girl.

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There she goes.

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HORSE SNORTS

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Blast!

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How long you been qualified?

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-About seven months.

-Seven months?

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Well, nowt like a bit of experience, I always say.

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Mr Farnon's been doing work for me for over ten years.

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Oh-ho, he really knows what he's about, he does.

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Yeah, you can have all your book learning.

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Give me experience every time.

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Pull harder. That's... That's it.

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Steady, steady. A good... steady tension on the rope.

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Now, I'm going to repel the foal.

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You keep up just a steady pull on the rope.

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Should bring the head round.

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What if the rope comes off?

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I suggest a good steady tension. That's it.

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Now, pull on the head as she strains.

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You should pull on the legs.

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Do as I say. Pull on the bloody head rope!

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She's going down.

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It'll be dead. It's bound to be.

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Cor...it's alive.

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I thought it'd be dead, the way you messed about with it.

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How about a drink?

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Oh. Thank you very much indeed, Mr Dinsdale.

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It has been a bit of a struggle.

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No, I meant for the mare.

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Oh.

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Oh, of course.

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Do her good. Give her a drink, by all means.

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Mr Farnon don't believe in that, not after foaling.

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Says it chills the stomach.

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Old Sumner's been having a bit of a moan.

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Thought I'd mention it.

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Moaning about me?

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Yes.

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Says he, uh, rang you the other night,

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and you refused to come out to his cow.

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He's a good client, you know, and he's a very nice fellow.

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Don't want to lose a chap like that. Hmm?

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It was only a chronic mastitis.

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Yes, I know.

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Pass the marmalade.

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-He'd been dosing it himself for a week.

-Hmm.

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The cow was eating well. I thought it would be all right

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-to leave it till the next day.

-Mm-hmm.

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James, um, there is one fundamental rule in our job which transcends

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all others, and I'll tell you what it is.

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We must attend.

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It should be written on your soul in letters of fire.

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You must attend.

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No matter what the circumstances, be it wet or fine, night or day,

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if a client calls you out, you must go.

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And go cheerfully.

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Even if they have been

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treating the animal themselves,

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it may have taken a turn for the worse.

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The animal may die.

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CLOCK CHIMES THE HOUR

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-MOUTH FULL:

-You must attend.

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-By the way, I wonder if it's here.

-What?

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The car!

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I've got you a car.

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Sunshine roof.

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Spare wheel. What more could you ask?

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In fact, it's quite stylish.

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By the way, are you going past the Weathercock Cafe this morning?

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-Yes, I think so.

-Good. Well, perhaps you could pick up my brother.

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He's coming down from college. Scruffy sort of chap.

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His name's Tristan.

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It's all Father's fault, really.

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Music ruled his life.

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Wagner. Wagner all the time.

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Morning, noon, and night.

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That's why we're stuck with these dreadful names.

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Siegfried and Tristan, I ask you!

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-Might have been worse.

-Well, hardly.

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It could have been Wotan, or Pogner.

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Gosh, yes, you're right. I forgot about old Pogner.

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Even so, it's going to look damn silly on that brass plate.

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-Are you studying to be a vet?

-That's right, yes.

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-I didn't realise.

-No, he doesn't talk about it very much.

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I haven't been doing too well, you see.

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He's afraid I might let the side down.

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How did you get on in the exams?

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A damned disgrace.

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Bloody awful.

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-You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

-Yes, sir. I'm sorry.

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What on Earth have you been doing up there all this term, anyway?

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Eh? Boozing, I suppose, and chasing women.

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Anything but doing work.

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You're just lazy, Tristan.

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Just bone bloody idle.

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Well, I've had enough of it this time.

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More than enough. I'm sick to death of you.

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He's got the bloody nerve to walk in here and tell me he's failed pathology!

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I did all right in parasitology, though.

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Well, he can sit path again at Christmas, can't he?

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After all, it's a difficult exam.

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I'm not working my fingers to the bone to keep him up there,

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idling his time away!

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You're sacked. Do you understand me? You're sacked once and for all.

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I want you out of this house, and out of my sight!

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That's the end. You are sacked.

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Everything all right, James?

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Yeah, fine, thanks.

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Good man.

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Well, I'm terribly sorry about the way things have worked out.

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Could've been worse.

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I don't really see how. I mean, he's thrown you out, hasn't he?

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Oh, don't worry. He's always saying that.

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HE TUNES IN RADIO

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He'll have forgotten all about it in the morning.

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-Fag?

-No, thanks.

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The only tricky thing was getting him to swallow

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what I said about the parasitology.

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You said you'd passed.

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I only said I'd done all right.

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Nothing more specific.

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PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO

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I failed both, actually.

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Parasitology and pathology.

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Never mind.

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I'll pass them at Christmas.

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Your very good health.

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And thank you for everything you've done.

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Thank you from both of us.

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I haven't done very much, Mrs Pumphrey.

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It's really up to you.

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Yes, I know.

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You must stop overfeeding him.

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But he gets so bored with chicken, you see.

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That's the trouble. He does so love his cream cakes,

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don't you, Tricky Woo?

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And his fudge, and chocolate, and pate and trifle.

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I find it hard to refuse him, Mr Herriot.

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When he begs for his little titbits.

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Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to.

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Otherwise this trouble's going to become more frequent.

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The anal gland gets impacted,

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you see, and that's what causes the pain.

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Oh, poor Tricky Woo.

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So, you must put him on a good, sensible dog diet.

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Two small meals a day.

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-Meat and biscuits.

-Meat and biscuits.

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And nothing in between.

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I'll do my best, Mr Herriot.

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I find it so hard to be strict with him.

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It's being kind to him, really, Mrs Pumphrey.

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Yes, of course.

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DOG SNUFFLES

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Yes, I'll try. I'll try to be good.

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And if you do have any more trouble,

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then just give me a ring and I'll come round right away.

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Thank you very much, Mr Herriot.

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You've been such a comfort.

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Thank YOU, Mrs Pumphrey. That's delicious sherry.

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I get it specially from London.

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Would you like a case?

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No, I wouldn't dream of it.

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Oh, but I insist.

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We both insist, don't we, Tricky Woo?

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It's very kind of you.

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A-ah-ah! Not another word. The very least I can do.

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Come along, Tricky darling.

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Come and say goodbye to Uncle Herriot.

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Bye, Tricky Woo.

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There! You see? He likes you. I knew he would.

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-I like him.

-He's got so few friends.

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You know, I often worry about him.

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Do you think he gets lonely, being an only dog?

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TRICKY WOO YAPS

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I should think he's very happy and contented

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living here with you, Mrs Pumphrey.

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Oh, how kind of you to say so.

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Thank you very much.

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I can't tell you how pleased I am you've come to Darrowby.

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May your stay here be a long and joyful one.

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Good morning.

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My name's James Herriot.

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I've come about the lame calf of yours.

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Good morning. I'm Helen Alderson. Here's your patient.

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We think he's broken his leg.

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Right, well, let's have a look, then, shall we?

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Hold his head, please.

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I'm sorry my father isn't here.

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-He's out in the field with the men.

-Oh, don't worry.

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No, it's just a simple fracture of the radius and ulna.

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-A bit of plaster should do the trick.

-Uh-huh.

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COWS LOW

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Well, that seems to be dry.

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Thanks very much.

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You'll have to keep the plaster on for at least a month.

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If you give me a call then, I'll come back and take it off.

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-All right.

-Just be careful that the bandage doesn't make his leg sore.

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-Fine.

-LOUD MOOING

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That's his mother. She's been hanging about all morning

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wondering what we're doing with her calf.

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Oh, she can come in now.

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HELEN ENCOURAGES COW INSIDE

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I didn't know Mr Farnon had got a new partner.

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Assistant, not partner.

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I've been with him since July.

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-Are you enjoying it?

-Oh, yes, very much.

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It's been a complete revelation to me, coming to Yorkshire.

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I had no idea it was such beautiful countryside.

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That's Hescott Fell. Over 2,500ft.

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Wonderful.

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Eddleton.

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Wedder Fell on the other side and Colver and Senner.

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You're very lucky to live in a place like this.

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Yes, I know. I love it very much.

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-Were you born in the country, Mr Herriot?

-No.

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Good heavens, no.

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No, I lived near London when I was a boy. Henfield.

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My father still lives there. In the same house, in fact.

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I've been trying to persuade him to get a transfer up here.

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He works in a bank, you see, but he just won't do anything about it.

0:23:110:23:15

Well, it is their home, after all.

0:23:150:23:17

Yes, I know, but my mother died a few years ago.

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I just think the change would do him good.

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Perhaps.

0:23:230:23:25

Thank you for coming so promptly, Mr Herriot.

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I'll see you next month.

0:23:330:23:35

Right.

0:23:350:23:37

WHISTLING

0:23:370:23:38

Yes, she's quite a girl, Helen Alderson.

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Been running that place single-handed since her mother died.

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Her old dad, he relies on her completely.

0:23:460:23:49

Ah. She's not married, then?

0:23:490:23:52

No. A bit choosy, I gather.

0:23:520:23:56

There've been a lot of blokes chasing her,

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but they don't seem to have got very far.

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CHILDREN SHOUT OUTSIDE

0:24:050:24:07

Good morning, Siegfried.

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Is it?

0:24:090:24:11

I was up at 4am.

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And it's all your fault too.

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-My fault?

-Hmm.

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Yes. A cow with a very mild infection of the rumen.

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The farmer had been mucking about with it himself.

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Linseed oil one day, bit of bicarb and ginger the next,

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and then at four o'clock in the morning he decides to call the vet.

0:24:340:24:37

When I said it could have waited a few hours more,

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he said, "Oh, no. Mr Herriot told us to ring any time, day or night."

0:24:390:24:43

Yes, well, I'm terribly sorry about that, Siegfried.

0:24:430:24:45

You're spoiling these chaps, James, and I'm getting the backwash of it.

0:24:450:24:48

But I thought the rule was, "You must attend".

0:24:480:24:51

Rule? What rule? What are you talking about?

0:24:510:24:53

Supposing the animal died?

0:24:530:24:55

Serve him right. TRISTAN!

0:24:550:24:58

Nothing like a dead animal to bring them to their senses.

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They'll call us out earlier next time.

0:25:020:25:03

There's no need to shout.

0:25:030:25:06

What's the matter with you today?

0:25:060:25:07

-Nothing.

-Just the usual sore head.

0:25:070:25:10

-What?

-I heard you come in last night. Well, we all did, I'm sure.

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Falling over the chair and banging the door!

0:25:130:25:16

I only went down to the Black Bull.

0:25:160:25:18

If you must get drunk three or four times a week,

0:25:180:25:20

-I do wish you would do it a little more quietly.

-Is that all?

0:25:200:25:23

No. Don't forget it's market day tomorrow.

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-Market day?

-Yes! It's the end of the month and the bills have gone out.

0:25:250:25:28

-Oh, yes.

-And I want you to devote the entire day...

0:25:280:25:31

The entire day, Tristan, to taking their cheques

0:25:310:25:33

and giving them a receipt,

0:25:330:25:35

and entering their names accurately in the receipt book.

0:25:350:25:38

Right.

0:25:380:25:40

Let's hope you can do that without making a bloody hash of it.

0:25:400:25:42

OINKING

0:25:460:25:48

This way! Pig buyers!

0:25:490:25:51

Pig buyers up this way, please.

0:25:510:25:53

Go, this way, pig buyers. Pig buyers up this way, please.

0:25:550:26:00

£2, sir? £2?

0:26:000:26:03

At £2.

0:26:030:26:04

£2. £2. Two pounds five.

0:26:040:26:07

Two pounds eight, two pounds eight.

0:26:070:26:09

I know what you want.

0:26:160:26:17

A nice little 32-piece tea-set.

0:26:170:26:19

Now, look at that there. That must be perfect.

0:26:190:26:21

Nice little roses. It takes four Chinamen three weeks to make

0:26:210:26:24

every saucer. Will you give me £3 for that? Will you give me £2.10?

0:26:240:26:27

Will you give me £2? A pound to you, madam,

0:26:270:26:29

for that wonderful tea-set.

0:26:290:26:31

Absolutely perfect. I'll throw in three cups,

0:26:310:26:33

I'll throw in three saucers

0:26:330:26:35

and I'll throw in three dinner plates and knives and forks.

0:26:350:26:38

A pound for the lot. And I'll wrap it all up in a little box for you.

0:26:380:26:41

Anything else? Not interested at all in that.

0:26:410:26:44

Can I interest you in a horsey?

0:26:440:26:45

A lovely little horsey for your sideboard?

0:26:450:26:47

Nothing for your sideboard? Go all right in the morning with

0:26:470:26:50

your shovel and spade all over your sideboard?

0:26:500:26:52

PHONE RINGS

0:26:520:26:54

LOUD BARKING

0:27:010:27:03

Quiet! Stop that noise at once!

0:27:030:27:07

Sorry, Mr Heaton.

0:27:090:27:11

-You want us to do a postmortem?

-(Have you got any money?)

0:27:110:27:14

A postmortem? Right.

0:27:160:27:18

I'll be round right away.

0:27:180:27:20

Hang on, James!

0:27:200:27:22

-Right, Mr Heaton.

-I'm coming with you.

0:27:220:27:24

I'm going down to Heaton's place. I'll be a couple of hours.

0:27:250:27:28

I believe they teach you blokes a pretty hot postmortem procedure.

0:27:280:27:31

I'd like to see you in action.

0:27:310:27:33

-How are you, Mr Armitage?

-Oh, middling, sir. Just middling.

0:27:330:27:35

CAR HORN BEEPS

0:27:420:27:44

HE BEEPS HORN REPEATEDLY

0:27:480:27:51

There's your receipt, Mrs Pratt. Thanks very much.

0:27:520:27:55

Thank you, Mr Farnon.

0:27:550:27:57

You're looking very smart this morning.

0:27:580:28:00

Smart? Me looking smart!

0:28:000:28:03

You know what they say, best-dressed woman in Mansley Dale.

0:28:030:28:06

Oh, Mr Farnon, you are a wicked one.

0:28:060:28:10

-Where are we going?

-Huh?

0:28:130:28:15

It's the other end of the village, Heaton's place.

0:28:150:28:18

You said "Seaton's".

0:28:180:28:20

I said "Heaton".

0:28:200:28:22

You said "Seaton".

0:28:230:28:25

There's no... There's no postmortem knife.

0:28:440:28:48

Never mind. I'll borrow a carving knife from the house.

0:28:490:28:52

HE WHISTLES A TUNE

0:28:550:28:57

-Ah, good morning.

-Good morning, Mr Farnon.

0:29:070:29:10

A carving knife. May we borrow a carving knife, please?

0:29:100:29:13

-A carving knife?

-Yes, a good sharp one.

0:29:130:29:16

-You want to borrow a carving knife?

-Yes, that's it, yes.

0:29:160:29:19

-We haven't much time, you see.

-Yes.

0:29:220:29:24

-HE WHISTLES

-Hello.

0:29:290:29:32

Ah.

0:29:330:29:35

This is the sharpest one we've got, Mr Farnon.

0:29:430:29:46

Right, let's look. Yes, well, I've seen worse.

0:29:460:29:49

Right, now, where's this sheep?

0:29:500:29:53

Sheep? What sheep?

0:29:530:29:55

Well, your husband telephoned us.

0:29:550:29:58

He wants us to do a postmortem on a sheep.

0:29:580:30:00

First I've heard of it.

0:30:000:30:02

Oh, for heaven's sake. Mr Seaton?

0:30:020:30:04

Is he in here? Mr Seaton?

0:30:060:30:10

Mr Seaton?

0:30:110:30:12

Must be more careful, James, in future.

0:30:210:30:24

Gives a very bad impression.

0:30:240:30:26

-It's Heaton, not Seaton.

-HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:30:260:30:28

KNOCK AT DOOR Who is it?

0:30:440:30:46

< It's me. Tristan.

0:30:460:30:48

Oh, it's all right. Come in.

0:30:480:30:51

What's up? You look as if you've lost the petty cash.

0:30:560:30:59

It's worse than that. I've lost the bloody receipt book.

0:30:590:31:03

-You've done what?

-It's not funny, Jim.

0:31:030:31:06

I spent the last two hours ransacking the house.

0:31:060:31:09

I can't find it anywhere.

0:31:090:31:11

Heaven help us all.

0:31:130:31:14

I mean, we are supposed to be running a business, after all.

0:31:160:31:20

No system, that's the trouble.

0:31:200:31:22

Everything seems to be this one bloody big shambles.

0:31:220:31:25

Good Lord, look at that.

0:31:270:31:30

It was a golf ball last year.

0:31:300:31:32

Shower up, will you, James?

0:31:340:31:36

You see, what we need is a...

0:31:360:31:39

an expert, someone who can do these jobs properly.

0:31:390:31:42

Tristan can't be trusted to blow his own nose

0:31:440:31:46

without making a ruddy mess of it.

0:31:460:31:47

Go easy with that dusting powder!

0:31:490:31:51

You see, what we need is...

0:31:520:31:53

..a secretary, James, a secretary.

0:31:550:31:57

Someone who can do the paperwork properly.

0:31:580:32:00

What exactly is this, Mr Farnon?

0:32:020:32:04

Well, that's our ledger, you see.

0:32:040:32:06

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:32:060:32:08

Yes, we enter the visit into that from our day book.

0:32:080:32:11

Which is here somewhere...

0:32:130:32:14

Hang on.

0:32:140:32:16

GROWLING

0:32:160:32:17

Here we are.

0:32:170:32:19

There we are.

0:32:200:32:22

I'm afraid you gentlemen will have to learn to write

0:32:240:32:28

if I'm going to look after your books.

0:32:280:32:30

What seems to be the trouble, Miss Harbottle?

0:32:300:32:34

Well, there are three quite different hands here.

0:32:340:32:38

That one is by far the worst.

0:32:380:32:39

It's quite dreadful. Whose is it?

0:32:390:32:42

Um.

0:32:430:32:44

Well, it is mine, actually.

0:32:450:32:47

I was probably in a bit of a hurry that day.

0:32:470:32:50

Hm! It's all the same.

0:32:500:32:52

Look here, and here,

0:32:520:32:55

and here.

0:32:550:32:56

It won't do, you know.

0:32:560:32:58

-Yes, well, I'm sorry.

-Where do you keep your cashbox?

0:32:590:33:02

Ah!

0:33:040:33:06

Well, actually, we don't have a cashbox, Miss Harbottle.

0:33:060:33:10

-We just stuff it in there, you see.

-What about the petty cash?

0:33:100:33:14

Yes, it all goes in there.

0:33:150:33:17

All cash, petty and otherwise.

0:33:170:33:19

How you've managed to go on like this for so long I can't imagine.

0:33:190:33:23

There'll have to be some changes made.

0:33:230:33:25

Some really quite...drastic changes.

0:33:250:33:28

-He's getting on a bit, isn't he, Mr Dean?

-Aye. Is that.

0:33:370:33:41

Coming up to 16 next April.

0:33:410:33:43

Lively as a puppy is all, when he feels in the mood.

0:33:430:33:46

-Is he off his food?

-Oh, yes.

0:33:460:33:49

Right off, yeah.

0:33:490:33:51

Which is strange, you know, because, by gum, he can eat.

0:33:510:33:54

He'd get through three or four meals a day, you know,

0:33:540:33:57

if he had the chance. Is he going to be ill long?

0:33:570:34:00

Doesn't seem right, you know, to have him poorly.

0:34:000:34:03

Well, the thing is....

0:34:050:34:07

I'm afraid it's rather serious.

0:34:070:34:09

There's this large swelling here. It's caused by an internal growth.

0:34:100:34:14

You mean cancer?

0:34:160:34:18

I'm afraid so.

0:34:190:34:21

I wish there was something I could do for him, but there isn't.

0:34:210:34:25

You mean he's going to die?

0:34:300:34:32

Well, he's in some distress now. It's going to get worse.

0:34:320:34:35

I think it'd be a kindness if we put him to sleep.

0:34:370:34:40

Just a minute.

0:34:460:34:48

All right, Mr Herriot, you'd best do it now.

0:34:580:35:01

There's no need to worry.

0:35:010:35:04

It's just an overdose of an anaesthetic.

0:35:060:35:08

Quite painless.

0:35:090:35:10

Good, quick way out for the old boy.

0:35:150:35:17

DOG PANTS

0:35:200:35:22

There's a good boy.

0:35:280:35:30

There we are.

0:35:300:35:32

There, there...

0:35:380:35:40

Is that it?

0:36:010:36:02

Yes.

0:36:040:36:05

He's out of his pain now.

0:36:050:36:07

Well, you're quite right, Mr Herriot. We couldn't see him suffer.

0:36:100:36:14

I'm very grateful, you know, for what you've done.

0:36:160:36:18

-Well... We'd best settle up now.

-No, that's all right, Mr Dean.

0:36:180:36:23

I had to pass your house anyway. It's no problem.

0:36:230:36:25

-No, no, Mr Herriot.

-Let's say no more about it.

0:36:250:36:28

-No, please, I'm not...

-Not another word.

0:36:280:36:30

Mr Herriot! Just a minute!

0:36:430:36:46

Mr Herriot.

0:36:470:36:48

Thank you, sir. You've been very kind to me, sir.

0:36:510:36:54

I've got something for you.

0:36:540:36:55

This is for you. A cigar.

0:36:570:37:00

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

0:37:000:37:01

DOG BARKS INSIDE

0:37:110:37:12

-Good morning, Mrs Hall.

-Morning, Mr Broadbent. Bit chilly today.

0:37:120:37:16

Did you hear about Luke Benson's missus

0:37:160:37:19

running off with that young fella from Clover Hill?

0:37:190:37:21

Yes. Dreadful, isn't it?

0:37:210:37:23

-And I'll tell you something else, Mrs Hall.

-Yes?

0:37:230:37:26

I wish somebody'd take my old bugger!

0:37:260:37:28

HE LAUGHS

0:37:280:37:29

CROCKERY CLATTERS

0:37:290:37:32

Please don't do that.

0:37:320:37:33

Don't do what?

0:37:350:37:37

It sets my teeth on edge. That scraping noise.

0:37:370:37:39

Oh, I see. You're in one of your moods, are you?

0:37:410:37:45

I've got a terrible headache.

0:37:450:37:46

Hangover is the word, Tristan.

0:37:480:37:50

Hangover.

0:37:500:37:52

I'm not surprised...

0:37:520:37:53

..the amount you put away last night.

0:37:550:37:57

You didn't do too badly yourself.

0:37:570:37:59

I know when to stop, unlike some people.

0:37:590:38:03

-DOGS BARK OUTSIDE

-Shut up!

0:38:030:38:05

It's just the morning mail.

0:38:050:38:08

Oh, heaven help us. I can't face all that efficiency this morning.

0:38:080:38:13

Hangover's the word, Siegfried. Hangover.

0:38:140:38:17

I've put the business mail in the office, Mr Farnon.

0:38:170:38:21

-Personal letter for you, Mr Herriot.

-Thank you, Miss Harbottle.

0:38:210:38:23

I should like to start as soon as possible.

0:38:270:38:28

There is a great deal of work to be done.

0:38:280:38:30

Yes, in a minute, Miss Harbottle.

0:38:300:38:33

-Oh, Lord.

-What is it? Another bill?

0:38:400:38:42

Uh, it's...

0:38:440:38:46

..an invitation.

0:38:470:38:49

Let me see.

0:38:490:38:50

Listen to this. "Tricki Woo requests the pleasure

0:38:540:38:58

"of Uncle Herriot's company at a garden party on August 5th."

0:38:580:39:03

Very funny. What on earth am I going to do, Siegfried?

0:39:050:39:09

Well, accept, of course.

0:39:090:39:11

Mrs Pumphrey's parties are famous.

0:39:110:39:12

Mountains of food and rivers of champagne.

0:39:130:39:16

And since you're invited by Tricky Woo himself,

0:39:160:39:20

you'll be the guest of honour.

0:39:200:39:22

MUSIC PLAYS

0:39:220:39:25

# This world's becoming a gay one

0:39:250:39:29

# I used to think it a grey one

0:39:290:39:31

# But I discovered it's A1 just now

0:39:310:39:35

# It's taken on a new meaning

0:39:350:39:38

# It's very nice to be seen in

0:39:380:39:40

# There's been a little spring cleaning somehow

0:39:400:39:45

# Who's been polishing the sun

0:39:450:39:47

# Rubbing out the clouds of grey?

0:39:470:39:49

# They must've known just how I like it

0:39:490:39:51

# Everything's coming my way

0:39:510:39:54

# Who's been teaching all the birds

0:39:540:39:56

# How to sing a roundelay?

0:39:560:39:58

# They must've known just how I like it

0:39:580:40:01

# Everything's coming my way

0:40:010:40:03

# Yesterday everything looked anyhow

0:40:030:40:07

# When I met someone and look at it now

0:40:070:40:11

# Who's been polishing the sun

0:40:110:40:14

# Rubbing out the clouds of grey?

0:40:140:40:16

# They must have known just how I like it

0:40:160:40:19

# Everything's coming my way

0:40:190:40:21

# Tell me who's been polishing the sun

0:40:210:40:22

# Sweeping all the stormy clouds away?

0:40:220:40:25

# They must've known just how I like it

0:40:250:40:27

# Every little thing's going to be OK

0:40:270:40:30

# Tell me, who's been teaching all the birds

0:40:300:40:32

# How to sing a merry roundelay... #

0:40:320:40:34

LAUGHTER AND CHATTER NEARBY

0:40:340:40:36

-Yes, it's quite good, isn't it?

-SHE CHUCKLES

0:40:390:40:42

Ah, James!

0:40:420:40:43

You've met Joyce, haven't you?

0:40:450:40:47

-Yes.

-No.

-We met at the races.

0:40:470:40:50

Oh, yes, sorry.

0:40:500:40:52

Do me a favour.

0:40:580:40:59

Yes, of course.

0:40:590:41:01

I want you to post this.

0:41:040:41:05

I want it to go out this evening, you see.

0:41:080:41:10

You want me to post it?

0:41:100:41:11

Yes. You're going to this gramophone thing, aren't you?

0:41:130:41:17

Yes. Yes, I am.

0:41:180:41:19

Aren't you?

0:41:190:41:21

Well, I was going to go with Tristan,

0:41:230:41:24

but he seems to have changed his mind.

0:41:240:41:26

Oh! You don't need Tristan to hold your hand, surely?

0:41:270:41:31

It's the music you're going for, after all. Hm?

0:41:320:41:35

Yes.

0:41:360:41:38

Yes.

0:41:380:41:39

Well, I'll see you later.

0:41:430:41:45

I do hope you have a nice time.

0:41:450:41:47

Yes.

0:41:470:41:49

GRAMOPHONE PLAYS CHAMBER MUSIC

0:41:510:41:54

MUSIC STOPS

0:42:390:42:41

MUSIC RESUMES

0:43:060:43:09

Let me have a go.

0:43:140:43:15

Are you sure it's not too grand?

0:43:200:43:22

No, of course not.

0:43:220:43:24

Everyone goes to the Reniston.

0:43:240:43:25

You've got to impress her, after all.

0:43:250:43:27

You can't take her to the Black Bull.

0:43:270:43:29

HE SCOFFS

0:43:290:43:31

There.

0:43:340:43:35

-How do I look?

-Not bad.

0:43:350:43:38

THUNDER RUMBLES, DOGS WHINE

0:43:380:43:40

Not bad at all.

0:43:400:43:41

The sleeves are a bit short.

0:43:410:43:43

A mere detail.

0:43:430:43:45

Nothing to worry about.

0:43:450:43:47

Yes, I can just see it.

0:43:470:43:49

Sweet music oozing out of Benny Thornton's trombone, and you,

0:43:490:43:52

full of lobster thermidor, floating round the dance floor.

0:43:520:43:54

Good heavens. Prince Charming off to the ball.

0:43:560:43:59

I'm taking Helen Alderson out to dinner.

0:43:590:44:00

Ah, yes, tonight's the night.

0:44:000:44:03

Where did you get the suit from?

0:44:030:44:05

I borrowed it from Tristan.

0:44:050:44:07

The sleeves are a little bit short, aren't they?

0:44:070:44:09

Stop undermining his confidence and finding fault.

0:44:090:44:13

What confidence?

0:44:130:44:14

THUNDER CRASHES

0:44:140:44:16

TOOLS CLATTER

0:44:200:44:22

TOOLS THUMP ON BACK SEAT

0:44:260:44:28

Not bad. Five minutes flat, eh?

0:44:400:44:42

ENGINE STARTS

0:44:530:44:55

You're absolutely drenched.

0:44:560:44:58

I'll soon dry.

0:44:580:45:00

Look at your shoes!

0:45:000:45:01

Yes.

0:45:020:45:04

Well... Doesn't matter.

0:45:040:45:06

We'd better go back home.

0:45:100:45:12

You can borrow a pair of my father's.

0:45:140:45:16

THUNDER RUMBLES

0:45:200:45:22

Dreadful night.

0:45:220:45:23

I've known worse.

0:45:250:45:26

Oh, yes, so have I. Much worse.

0:45:260:45:29

Pity about them trousers.

0:45:330:45:36

Oh, they'll be all right once they're pressed.

0:45:360:45:38

Rots the fabric, or so I'm told.

0:45:380:45:40

Never the same after a good soaking.

0:45:420:45:44

Here we are.

0:45:450:45:46

Will these be all right?

0:45:480:45:50

Oh, yes. Thank you.

0:45:500:45:51

Yes, they're fine...

0:45:510:45:53

Good evening, sir.

0:46:110:46:13

Are we too late for the dinner dance?

0:46:130:46:15

There's no dance tonight, sir.

0:46:150:46:16

We only hold them once a fortnight.

0:46:160:46:19

Oh. Well, I didn't realise.

0:46:190:46:21

Never mind. We can have dinner, then.

0:46:210:46:23

Table for two, sir?

0:46:250:46:27

Yes, please.

0:46:270:46:28

This way, please.

0:46:290:46:30

Goodnight.

0:46:330:46:35

Goodnight, sir. Nice to see you again.

0:46:350:46:38

BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

0:46:380:46:40

Are you staying, sir?

0:47:000:47:02

Well, yes, of course.

0:47:030:47:04

What room number, sir?

0:47:060:47:08

Why... I'm not living here.

0:47:100:47:11

I see.

0:47:130:47:14

Not staying.

0:47:140:47:16

-Have you been here before?

-Once or twice.

0:47:200:47:22

It's very...

0:47:240:47:25

Very comfortable, isn't it?

0:47:270:47:28

A bit ostentatious.

0:47:290:47:31

Yes.

0:47:320:47:34

Yes, it is a bit.

0:47:360:47:37

-How's the calf?

-How's the what?

0:47:430:47:45

-The calf with the broken leg.

-Oh, fine.

0:47:460:47:49

Father took the bandage off.

0:47:500:47:52

Seemed a bit silly to drag you all the way out there.

0:47:520:47:54

Well, I wouldn't have minded.

0:47:540:47:56

-How's the beef?

-All being well, it should be a very good year.

0:48:080:48:10

We're quite pleased about it.

0:48:100:48:13

Good. Actually, I meant this beef.

0:48:130:48:15

This beef?

0:48:150:48:17

Oh, I'm sorry.

0:48:170:48:19

It's nice. Very nice indeed.

0:48:190:48:21

Are you happy here?

0:48:250:48:26

Well, yes. Aren't you?

0:48:290:48:31

I meant in Darrowby, in your job.

0:48:310:48:33

Well, of course.

0:48:330:48:35

Don't I seem to be?

0:48:350:48:37

I just wondered.

0:48:370:48:38

It must feel a bit strange sometimes.

0:48:400:48:42

Why should it?

0:48:440:48:45

It's not what you're used to, after all, this sort of life.

0:48:460:48:48

I thought I was settling down rather well.

0:48:510:48:53

-I didn't mean that.

-Well, don't you think I am?

0:48:530:48:56

Yes. You're doing wonderfully.

0:48:580:49:00

Everyone likes you very much.

0:49:000:49:02

Oh, don't look so worried. It was just a passing thought.

0:49:040:49:07

I didn't mean to upset you, it's just that...

0:49:120:49:14

-we were wondering if you ever miss London.

-We?

0:49:140:49:18

I was telling my father about your family.

0:49:180:49:20

He asked me whereabouts in the country you came from.

0:49:200:49:22

I suppose he doesn't approve.

0:49:220:49:24

It isn't a question of approve or disapprove.

0:49:240:49:27

Don't be so edgy.

0:49:270:49:29

Look, it was just a casual remark.

0:49:410:49:45

Let's forget it, shall we?

0:49:450:49:47

CHURCH BELLS RING, BAUBLE TINKLES

0:49:470:49:49

It's quite obvious that your social life has suffered badly

0:49:570:50:00

-during my absence.

-I've been working, Tristan!

0:50:000:50:03

Don't you start, please.

0:50:030:50:04

I've had enough brotherly advice to last me a lifetime.

0:50:040:50:08

Anyway, I'll pass in the summer. I'm bound to.

0:50:080:50:11

Not many berries on this stuff, are there?

0:50:110:50:14

You're behaving like a bullock with a bellyache.

0:50:150:50:18

All because you had a disastrous night

0:50:180:50:19

and she's given you the old heave-ho. Well, so what?

0:50:190:50:23

Do you know how many times I've been spurned?

0:50:230:50:26

Spurned?

0:50:280:50:30

It never even got started.

0:50:310:50:33

Forget it, lad, and get out into the big world.

0:50:330:50:35

The rich tapestry of life is waiting for you there.

0:50:350:50:39

Think of all the lovely girls in Darrowby.

0:50:390:50:41

You can hardly move for them.

0:50:410:50:43

Tell you what, why don't you let me fix something up?

0:50:430:50:46

'Nice little foursome.

0:50:460:50:48

'Just what you need.'

0:50:480:50:49

Connie.

0:50:530:50:54

Brenda. The two prettiest nurses in the whole of Yorkshire.

0:50:570:51:02

BRENDA AND CONNIE LAUGH Hello, Connie.

0:51:020:51:04

You'll have to watch him, girls. He's a devil with women.

0:51:060:51:08

THEY GIGGLE

0:51:080:51:10

How about a little drink to get us all in the mood?

0:51:100:51:13

# Five gold rings!

0:51:180:51:22

ALL: # Four calling birds, three French hens

0:51:220:51:25

# Two turtle doves

0:51:250:51:26

# And a partridge in a pear tree! #

0:51:260:51:29

Come on, drink up.

0:52:110:52:13

It's time we were off to that dance.

0:52:130:52:15

DRUMROLL

0:52:150:52:16

Ladies and gentlemen, please take your partners for the Lambeth Walk.

0:52:160:52:20

Now, come on, everyone. We want you all on the floor.

0:52:200:52:23

BAND PLAYS LAMBETH WALK

0:52:230:52:25

-# Doing the Lambeth Walk!

-Hoi! #

0:52:360:52:38

-Hold it, now, hold it!

-BAND STOPS

0:52:380:52:40

Let's have a bit more hoi!

0:52:400:52:42

-Hoi!

-All right, once more, boys.

0:52:420:52:44

BAND PLAYS INTRO

0:52:440:52:48

# Any time you're Lambeth way

0:52:500:52:53

# Any evening, any day

0:52:530:52:55

# You'll find us all

0:52:550:52:58

# Doin' the Lambeth walk. HOI! #

0:52:580:53:00

Better.

0:53:000:53:01

# Every little Lambeth gal

0:53:010:53:03

# With her little Lambeth pal

0:53:030:53:06

# You'll find 'em all... Hey!

0:53:060:53:09

# Doin' the Lambeth Walk! HOI!

0:53:090:53:12

# Everything's free and easy

0:53:120:53:14

# Do as you darn well pleasey

0:53:140:53:17

# Why don't you make your way there?

0:53:170:53:20

# Go there, stay there

0:53:200:53:22

# Once you get down Lambeth way

0:53:220:53:25

-# Every evening...

-Bom-bom-bom

0:53:250:53:27

# You'll find them all, hey!

0:53:270:53:30

# Doin' the Lambeth Walk! HOI! #

0:53:300:53:33

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:53:330:53:36

Connie?

0:53:500:53:51

-Try some of this. It's delicious.

-What is it?

-Pork pie.

0:53:530:53:57

-I've got trifle.

-It doesn't matter. Try some.

0:53:570:53:59

APPLAUSE

0:53:590:54:01

BAND PLAYS WALTZ

0:54:120:54:15

James?

0:54:490:54:51

I don't feel very well...

0:54:540:54:56

SHE RETCHES

0:55:080:55:10

SHE RETCHES

0:55:130:55:16

Are you enjoying the dance?

0:55:190:55:21

Merry Christmas, James.

0:55:230:55:25

Same to you.

0:55:260:55:28

I've had a cow struck by lightning.

0:55:320:55:34

It's laid up in the field.

0:55:340:55:37

Are you sure it was lightning, Mr Cranford?

0:55:370:55:39

We haven't had a storm today.

0:55:390:55:40

Maybe you haven't had one, but we've had one here.

0:55:400:55:43

Must be lightning. Couldn't be owt else.

0:55:430:55:45

-Morning, Mr Herriot.

-Bugger t'morning!

0:55:450:55:47

Get on with some work!

0:55:470:55:49

Are you sure it was killed by lightning, Mr Cranford?

0:56:010:56:04

Couldn't be owt else.

0:56:040:56:06

Nasty storm. A good beast like that dropped down dead.

0:56:080:56:12

It didn't exactly drop down, did it?

0:56:120:56:15

It died in convulsions.

0:56:150:56:17

You can see here, where its hooves have kicked up the grass.

0:56:190:56:23

All right, then. It had a convulsion,

0:56:230:56:24

but it was the lightning that brought it on.

0:56:240:56:27

No, I'm not so sure.

0:56:270:56:28

One of the signs of lightning stroke

0:56:300:56:31

is that the animal falls without a struggle.

0:56:310:56:34

Some of them still have the grass in their mouths.

0:56:340:56:37

-Well, it's not all the same, you know.

-No, no, I realise that.

0:56:370:56:40

Look here. I've been among livestock for half a century.

0:56:400:56:44

This isn't the first beast I've seen struck.

0:56:440:56:46

This could have been caused by so many things.

0:56:460:56:49

What about the side and shoulder?

0:56:490:56:51

What about the bloody burn?

0:56:510:56:53

Doesn't prove very much, Mr Cranford.

0:56:540:56:57

What do you mean?

0:56:580:57:00

-I just want to be sure, that's all.

-Don't give me that.

0:57:010:57:05

I know what's in your mind, oh, aye.

0:57:050:57:07

Did it myself with a red-hot poker,

0:57:070:57:10

just so as I could get the insurance?

0:57:100:57:12

I can't sign a death certificate without doing a postmortem.

0:57:130:57:17

That beast's worth £80 to me! I can't afford to lose £80!

0:57:170:57:21

I'll see you at Mallock's yard tomorrow morning, ten o'clock.

0:57:210:57:23

All right?

0:57:230:57:24

No bother at all.

0:57:320:57:33

Now, let's take a look at her.

0:57:360:57:39

SAWING, SLICING

0:57:430:57:45

Aye.

0:57:570:57:59

There you are.

0:57:590:58:01

It seems you was right, Mr Cranford.

0:58:010:58:03

Aye, it does, doesn't it?

0:58:040:58:06

Lightning got her. There's no mistaking that.

0:58:070:58:09

Perhaps Mr Herriot would be kind enough to give us his opinion.

0:58:110:58:14

Yes.

0:58:170:58:18

Lightning.

0:58:180:58:20

I'm sorry.

0:58:220:58:24

Thanks, Jeff. Very grateful.

0:58:250:58:27

You can tell Mr Farnon I'll be going to another vet in future.

0:58:420:58:45

I won't forget this either.

0:58:490:58:51

I've got influence round here, you know!

0:58:510:58:54

I've got influence round here!

0:58:540:58:56

BLEATING

0:58:570:59:00

-SIEGFRIED:

-Please hear me out, Miss Harbottle!

0:59:220:59:24

It's the tenth day of the month and the accounts haven't even gone out.

0:59:240:59:27

-But Mr Farnon!

-Think of the interest we're losing?

0:59:270:59:29

-I can't waste money...

-How can I?

-Don't change the subject!

0:59:290:59:33

It's efficiency, Miss Harbottle. That's what we need. Efficiency!

0:59:330:59:36

What is it?

0:59:390:59:41

-Ignition keys.

-Life would be easier

0:59:410:59:43

if you would take a leaf out of Mr Herriot's book.

0:59:430:59:46

-Oh, yes? In what way?

-Well, at least he keeps proper records!

0:59:470:59:51

-Well, what do you think that is?

-A meaningless scrawl!

0:59:520:59:55

I have done my best, Mr Farnon...

0:59:560:59:58

..but I can't work miracles.

0:59:591:00:01

DOOR SLAMS, DOGS BARK

1:00:041:00:06

Yes, well.

1:00:091:00:10

You've had some good ideas, James.

1:00:121:00:14

Yes, I'd be the first to admit that.

1:00:151:00:17

But Miss Harbottle certainly wasn't one of them!

1:00:171:00:20

Far from it. Far, far from it...

1:00:201:00:22

PHONE RINGS

1:00:271:00:29

-Darrowby 85.

-'Is that Mr Farnon?'

1:00:361:00:39

No, I'm afraid he's out. This is his assistant.

1:00:391:00:41

-'I'm Mr Soames, Lord Hulton's farm manager.'

-Yes, Mr Soames.

1:00:411:00:44

'You'd better get over here straightaway

1:00:441:00:47

'and bring some arecoline with you.

1:00:471:00:49

-Arecoline?

-'Mr Farnon always uses it.

1:00:491:00:51

'We've got a valuable hunting horse with colic.

1:00:511:00:53

'You know anything about colic?'

1:00:531:00:55

I'm a veterinary surgeon, so I should know something about it.

1:00:551:00:58

'Let's hope so. It's one of His Lordship's best hunters.'

1:00:581:01:01

Right. I'm leaving now, Mr Soames.

1:01:011:01:03

HORSE GRUNTS

1:01:291:01:31

-How long has he been like this?

-All day. I've told you.

1:01:341:01:37

Put a halter on him. I'll examine him now.

1:01:411:01:43

-Whoa, lad. Whoa.

-Have you got the arecoline with you?

1:01:491:01:52

HORSE GRUNTS AND SNORTS

1:01:521:01:54

This is no ordinary colic, Mr Soames.

1:02:401:02:43

Then what the hell is it?

1:02:431:02:44

I'm pretty sure it's a severe torsion.

1:02:461:02:48

-Twisted bowel.

-What do you mean, a twisted bowel?

1:02:501:02:52

The horse has got bellyache, that's all.

1:02:521:02:55

He hasn't passed anything all day. He needs something to shift it.

1:02:551:02:57

If this is a torsion,

1:02:591:03:00

-the arecoline is the worst possible thing you could give him.

-Rubbish.

1:03:001:03:03

He's in agony now, but that would drive him mad.

1:03:031:03:05

-It works by contracting the muscle...

-All right!

1:03:051:03:07

Don't start giving me a bloody lecture!

1:03:071:03:09

Are you going to do something for that horse or are you not?

1:03:121:03:15

I'll need a bucket of water, soap, and towels.

1:03:151:03:18

-What the devil for?

-I want to do a rectal examination.

1:03:181:03:21

God almighty, I've never heard such nonsense.

1:03:221:03:24

Don't just stand there doing nothing.

1:03:261:03:28

Fetch the bloody water and let's get on with it!

1:03:281:03:31

Well?

1:03:321:03:33

The bowel is badly displaced.

1:03:351:03:37

I'm pretty sure it's a torsion.

1:03:381:03:40

So...

1:03:411:03:42

..what's the treatment?

1:03:441:03:45

There's nothing I can do.

1:03:471:03:49

There's no treatment. There's no cure.

1:03:531:03:56

No cure? What do you mean, "no cure"?

1:03:561:03:58

-There must be something you can do.

-I'm sorry, Mr Soames.

1:03:581:04:01

I think you should let me put him down immediately.

1:04:011:04:03

-You can't do that! You can't!

-There's no alternative. None.

1:04:031:04:09

-I've got the humane killer in my car.

-Are you stark bloody mad?

1:04:101:04:14

Do you know how much that horse is worth?

1:04:141:04:16

I don't care how much he's worth!

1:04:161:04:18

That animal's been going through hell all day, and it's dying now.

1:04:181:04:21

What if you're wrong?

1:04:231:04:24

I'm as sure as I can be.

1:04:261:04:28

He may live a few more hours but the end will be the same.

1:04:291:04:32

You should have called me out long ago.

1:04:331:04:35

(God almighty, why did this have to happen now?)

1:04:411:04:44

His Lordship's on holiday.

1:04:441:04:45

I can't even get in touch with him.

1:04:451:04:47

Where the hell is Farnon?

1:04:491:04:51

-He's gone to see his mother.

-All right, then.

1:04:521:04:56

Let's wait till he gets back.

1:04:561:04:57

Let's do that, huh?

1:04:571:04:59

Let's...

1:04:591:05:01

Let's ask him to have a look at the horse.

1:05:011:05:03

I'm sorry, Mr Soames.

1:05:091:05:11

It must be done now.

1:05:121:05:14

GUNSHOT

1:05:161:05:18

I see.

1:05:191:05:21

So, he got a bit nasty, did he?

1:05:211:05:22

Well, yes, he did. He said he'd sue us

1:05:231:05:25

if the postmortem showed I was wrong.

1:05:251:05:29

Oh, that's just Soames letting off a bit of steam.

1:05:291:05:32

He's a bullying bugger at the best of times.

1:05:321:05:34

I just didn't know what to do.

1:05:341:05:36

Well, don't worry, James,

1:05:381:05:40

I'll tell you what I'll do.

1:05:401:05:41

I'll pop round first thing tomorrow morning and get it all sorted out.

1:05:431:05:47

All right? Now, how about a nice glass of whisky to calm the nerves?

1:05:471:05:50

Uh, no, thanks. I think I'll pop on to bed.

1:05:501:05:53

All right. By the way, any calls that come through, um...

1:05:531:05:57

-I'll take them.

-Thank you very much, Siegfried.

1:05:571:06:00

-Thank you.

-Goodnight. Sleep well.

1:06:001:06:02

What was all that about?

1:06:021:06:04

There's a spot of trouble at Lord Hulton's estate.

1:06:051:06:08

So I gathered.

1:06:081:06:10

-Is it serious?

-Mm, could be.

1:06:101:06:13

Well, it seems I owe you an apology, Mr Herriot.

1:06:481:06:52

Colic drench?

1:07:041:07:06

No.

1:07:061:07:08

No, get rid of that.

1:07:081:07:09

-Universal Cattle Medicine.

-What?

1:07:151:07:18

"A sovereign remedy for coughs, chills, scours,

1:07:181:07:22

"pneumonia, milk fever,

1:07:221:07:24

"and all forms of indigestion.

1:07:241:07:26

"Never fails to give relief."

1:07:261:07:28

That sounds rather good.

1:07:301:07:31

I might even try some myself.

1:07:311:07:34

THEY CHUCKLE

1:07:341:07:36

Mr Farnon?

1:07:371:07:38

Yes?

1:07:401:07:41

-I have been looking everywhere for you.

-Oh, really?

1:07:431:07:47

-Is anything wrong?

-Indeed there is.

1:07:471:07:50

Perhaps you would explain to me why, once more,

1:07:501:07:52

you have emptied my petty cash box?

1:07:521:07:54

Um, yes, well, I'm sorry.

1:07:551:07:58

I had to rush to Broughton last night to see my mother.

1:07:581:08:01

That is no excuse, Mr Farnon.

1:08:011:08:04

How can I keep efficient records when you keep stealing the money,

1:08:041:08:07

and then spending it?

1:08:071:08:09

I will not tolerate such...

1:08:091:08:12

anarchy!

1:08:121:08:13

Give me the receipt, Miss Harbottle.

1:08:141:08:16

I will not tolerate being told

1:08:191:08:21

how or why and when to spend my own money!

1:08:211:08:24

If that's efficiency, I prefer anarchy!

1:08:291:08:31

-A lady's brought a dog, sir.

-I'll deal with it.

1:08:371:08:41

Not you, sir. Mr Herriot.

1:08:411:08:43

It's Miss Alderson.

1:08:451:08:47

Is it bad?

1:08:551:08:57

A dislocated hip.

1:08:581:08:59

Nasty, but no more.

1:08:591:09:02

He should be all right.

1:09:021:09:03

It's a good job you brought him in when you did, though.

1:09:061:09:09

-The sooner it's dealt with the better.

-When can you do it?

1:09:091:09:12

Oh, right now, immediately.

1:09:121:09:13

-I'll have to call Siegfried, though. It's a two-man job.

-Can't I help?

1:09:151:09:18

I'd very much like to.

1:09:201:09:21

It'll mean a bit of pulling.

1:09:231:09:25

Would you mind playing tug-of-war?

1:09:281:09:30

With Dan in the middle?

1:09:301:09:32

Don't worry, I'm not squeamish.

1:09:321:09:35

I like working with animals.

1:09:351:09:36

Fair enough.

1:09:371:09:38

Here. Put this coat on.

1:09:411:09:43

Right, now, just link your hands beneath the thigh.

1:09:491:09:52

Try and hold him there while I pull.

1:09:521:09:54

OK? Here I go.

1:09:541:09:56

BONE CLICKS

1:10:111:10:13

-Is that it?

-Let's hope it stays put.

1:10:161:10:19

We'll keep our fingers crossed.

1:10:191:10:21

How long will it be before he comes round?

1:10:211:10:23

-He'll be out all day. Let me take the coat.

-Oh, thanks.

1:10:231:10:26

I'd like to keep him here for the rest of the week, just to be sure.

1:10:321:10:36

I'll come and get him on Friday.

1:10:361:10:38

Don't bother. I'll bring him round.

1:10:401:10:42

Bring him round?

1:10:421:10:43

Perhaps you'd like to go to the pictures?

1:10:451:10:47

What...?!

1:10:471:10:49

Well, there's a good film on at the Darrowby Plaza next week.

1:10:491:10:52

I could bring the dog round, and take you out, if you'd like to?

1:10:541:10:58

I mean, if that'd be all right.

1:10:581:10:59

It would be very nice, James.

1:11:011:11:03

Thank you for asking me.

1:11:041:11:06

'That was where I saw it.

1:11:101:11:12

'A terrifying thing in black.

1:11:121:11:13

'It came running across the lawn.

1:11:131:11:15

'It laughed. I heard it laugh!

1:11:151:11:17

'Mad laughter!

1:11:171:11:19

'I'm so scared to see it again!

1:11:191:11:22

'Come and live in a place like this!

1:11:261:11:28

'I don't mind it much in the daytime.

1:11:281:11:30

'You wouldn't catch me here after dark. No, not for twice the money.

1:11:301:11:33

-'How you stick it I don't know.

-Oh, he's a he-man.

1:11:331:11:36

'There's always a lot of silly talk about old houses like this.

1:11:361:11:39

'Just all talk. Like you.

1:11:391:11:42

'Me? You want to have heard Mrs Elvery this morning. She saw it.

1:11:421:11:46

'It had a thing over his head. All ghostly, he was, in the moonlight.

1:11:461:11:49

'Oh, shut up. You're giving me the creeps.

1:11:491:11:52

SCREAMING

1:11:521:11:54

-'I saw it!

-What?

-A thing!'

1:11:541:11:58

KNOCK ON DOOR

1:11:581:11:59

She's dead.

1:11:591:12:00

What?

1:12:011:12:02

Died last Tuesday.

1:12:021:12:04

Thought you'd like to know.

1:12:041:12:05

Oh.

1:12:051:12:06

Who's dead?

1:12:081:12:10

-Don't know.

-Who's that?

1:12:101:12:12

-Can't remember.

-Oh!

1:12:131:12:14

-I knew from the start you were on the wrong track.

-Oh?

1:12:181:12:20

'Eternal peace...'

1:12:201:12:22

'You know, Mary, that I love you,

1:12:251:12:27

'but your heart is elsewhere.

1:12:271:12:29

'A younger and luckier man

1:12:321:12:35

'shattered the dream of my life.

1:12:351:12:36

'I found you could never be mine...

1:12:401:12:42

'..and so, I bring you to the man of your choice...'

1:12:441:12:48

LOUD SNORING

1:12:481:12:50

SCREAMING

1:12:561:12:58

'And I said to Connor, when you meet him you will die.

1:12:581:13:01

-'But when I meet him...

-CACKLING'

1:13:011:13:04

Excuse me! Miss?

1:13:061:13:08

I thought this was supposed to be the Greta Garbo film.

1:13:121:13:14

No, sir, that's next week.

1:13:141:13:16

SHE GIGGLES

1:13:161:13:19

CRASHING

1:13:221:13:24

LOUD SNORING

1:13:241:13:26

I'm sorry.

1:13:291:13:31

SHE LAUGHS

1:13:311:13:33

BOTH LAUGH

1:13:331:13:36

Look, next time, why don't we just go for a walk?

1:13:451:13:48

CLATTERING ON SCREEN

1:13:481:13:50

SEAGULLS CRY

1:13:501:13:52

-Is it all right?

-Mm, lovely.

1:14:041:14:07

Go on, then. You were telling me about this man, the lorry driver.

1:14:081:14:11

Oh, Terry Watson? Well...

1:14:111:14:14

he's always kept a few pigs at the end of his garden.

1:14:141:14:17

He wouldn't be able to afford any meat, otherwise, I should think.

1:14:171:14:19

I went into the house one day just after they killed one of the pigs.

1:14:231:14:27

Mrs Watson was cutting it up for pies and brawn...

1:14:271:14:29

..and there was Terry, sitting in front of the fire,

1:14:311:14:34

-sobbing his heart out.

-Crying?

1:14:341:14:36

It was always the same.

1:14:381:14:39

He's a big man...

1:14:421:14:44

Huge! He can throw a 12-stone sack of meal

1:14:441:14:46

on the back of his wagon without thinking twice about it,

1:14:461:14:49

but every time they kill one of the pigs, he cries for three days.

1:14:491:14:53

It's love.

1:14:551:14:57

He loves them. It can't be anything else.

1:14:581:15:01

Oh, come off it, Siegfried.

1:15:111:15:13

Stop pulling my leg.

1:15:131:15:14

I'm not pulling your leg.

1:15:151:15:17

I'm doing nothing of the sort.

1:15:171:15:19

I've only just started my career.

1:15:191:15:21

I've got no money.

1:15:211:15:23

Nothing. I hadn't even given it a thought.

1:15:251:15:28

You haven't thought about getting married?

1:15:331:15:36

Come on, James, don't tell such whacking fibs.

1:15:361:15:39

-It's been going on for a year now, hasn't it?

-What has?

1:15:421:15:45

Helen Alderson. You and Helen Alderson.

1:15:471:15:50

-You're courting, aren't you?

-Well, I wouldn't exactly call it courting!

1:15:501:15:53

Now, now...

1:15:531:15:55

What would you call it, then?

1:15:561:15:58

I don't know. Courting's putting it a bit strong.

1:15:581:16:01

Well.

1:16:061:16:08

They say... What do they say?

1:16:081:16:11

Caution is a virtue.

1:16:111:16:13

If you don't mind my saying so, I think you carry it miles too far.

1:16:131:16:16

I think you're far too cautious.

1:16:161:16:18

Do you know what I mean?

1:16:191:16:21

Far too apprehensive.

1:16:211:16:23

Always worrying about little details and all that.

1:16:231:16:25

Come on, a young chap like you, good-looking,

1:16:271:16:30

and Helen Alderson is immensely attractive and a jolly good cook.

1:16:301:16:33

She's an excellent cook, in fact.

1:16:351:16:36

If you take my advice, you'd get that girl into church

1:16:361:16:39

and married before the month is out.

1:16:391:16:41

Well, come on, get on with it!

1:16:441:16:45

I want to start on the asparagus after lunch.

1:16:451:16:47

Anybody home?

1:16:491:16:50

DOGS BARK NEARBY

1:16:501:16:52

Anybody home?

1:16:591:17:00

Good evening, Mr Alderson.

1:17:101:17:12

Good evening.

1:17:121:17:14

-Something wrong?

-No.

1:17:151:17:18

No, I was just passing. Been up to Sharp's place.

1:17:181:17:21

Trouble with one of his Jerseys. Ah.

1:17:211:17:22

Twisted calf bit.

1:17:241:17:26

-Quite tricky, really.

-Oh, aye, it is.

1:17:261:17:29

I hope you don't mind me dropping in like this.

1:17:351:17:38

Suit yourself.

1:17:381:17:40

Helen's gone to York today.

1:17:401:17:41

One of her friends is getting married.

1:17:431:17:45

Yes, she told me.

1:17:451:17:48

Just so long as you know.

1:17:481:17:49

I gather you think I'm a bit of a Londoner.

1:17:521:17:54

Helen said so.

1:17:561:17:58

Well, it's true anyway.

1:17:581:18:00

Not any more.

1:18:001:18:01

Maybe not.

1:18:041:18:05

This is my home now.

1:18:071:18:09

Home is where you're born, lad.

1:18:111:18:14

That's summat I always thought.

1:18:141:18:16

You can move around as much as you like, it'll make no difference.

1:18:161:18:20

-I don't agree with you, Mr Alderson.

-Aye, well.

1:18:201:18:25

-Each man to his own opinion.

-I'm happy here.

1:18:251:18:28

-I don't want to leave.

-Not yet, perhaps.

1:18:301:18:33

Never.

1:18:331:18:35

It's what I've always wanted.

1:18:351:18:36

To be a vet,

1:18:361:18:38

living in a place like this.

1:18:381:18:40

Settling down. It's what I've always wanted.

1:18:411:18:45

Aye, well, I'm glad you're happy.

1:18:451:18:48

There's not many folk can say that these days.

1:18:481:18:50

This is done.

1:18:521:18:53

I'll go get me supper.

1:18:551:18:56

Mr Alderson, I want to marry her.

1:18:591:19:01

I want to marry Helen.

1:19:051:19:06

You'd, erm, better come into the house.

1:19:081:19:11

Thank you very much, Mr Alderson.

1:19:221:19:24

HE SPLUTTERS

1:19:291:19:32

We've been having some good weather.

1:19:321:19:34

-Yes, we have.

-Mind you, a bit of rain at night might do some good.

1:19:341:19:40

Yes.

1:19:401:19:42

Yes, it would.

1:19:421:19:43

-About Helen...

-Would you like some more whisky?

1:19:471:19:50

No. No, I've had enough.

1:19:521:19:54

I had a wife in thousands, James.

1:19:571:19:59

Yes.

1:20:011:20:02

Yes, I've heard a lot about her.

1:20:041:20:06

She was the grandest lass about for miles, and the bonniest.

1:20:061:20:10

Nobody thought that she'd have a fella like me, but she did.

1:20:111:20:15

Oh, aye, she did.

1:20:151:20:17

Her father used to have a place on Mustang Fell.

1:20:171:20:22

Big place it was, too. It was a big place.

1:20:221:20:25

And I used to see her some days on market day.

1:20:261:20:29

I thought she was the prettiest thing alive.

1:20:321:20:35

No man could have been more happy than me.

1:20:421:20:44

We had a good life together,

1:20:461:20:48

and I'm grateful for it.

1:20:481:20:50

She was a grand wife. I loved her.

1:20:501:20:53

Helen's a lot like her in many ways.

1:20:571:20:59

I can see it.

1:21:001:21:02

The mother in the daughter.

1:21:021:21:05

The same smile, the way she holds her head.

1:21:051:21:07

Same voice, even.

1:21:091:21:10

No man could ever have wished for a better wife.

1:21:131:21:16

Gentle, kind, loving.

1:21:191:21:21

Ohh...

1:21:271:21:29

Oh...

1:21:321:21:33

I don't think I'll... bother with any supper now.

1:21:341:21:38

It's a bit late.

1:21:381:21:40

HE LAUGHS AND GRUNTS

1:21:441:21:47

Aye, she's just like her mother.

1:21:511:21:54

The right lass for you.

1:21:541:21:57

-RADIO:

-'The German wireless announced tonight

1:22:091:22:11

'the German government's reply to a British communication...'

1:22:111:22:13

-Evening, Siegfried.

-Oh, yeah...

1:22:191:22:21

-What was it?

-A bit of mastitis. Nothing serious.

1:22:231:22:26

Would you like some of Mrs Pumphrey's sherry?

1:22:291:22:31

No, thank you, no.

1:22:311:22:33

She spoils you, that woman does.

1:22:331:22:35

What's the matter with you?

1:22:371:22:39

The bloody Ministry.

1:22:391:22:41

They want us to start TB testing at Allerthorpe next week.

1:22:411:22:44

-Blasted forms.

-Next week?

-That's right, next week.

1:22:461:22:50

-When you will be dancing off on your honeymoon.

-Very sorry.

1:22:501:22:53

You just don't think ahead, James, that's your trouble.

1:22:551:22:58

Always charging ahead without a thought for others.

1:22:581:23:00

Hang on just a minute!

1:23:001:23:01

Why, for heaven's sake, do you have to rush into it like this?

1:23:011:23:05

-I mean, marriage is a very serious thing...!

-Look here, Siegfried.

1:23:051:23:08

You know what they say. Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

1:23:081:23:11

But it was your idea, for God's sake!

1:23:111:23:13

You really are the most bloody-minded person!

1:23:141:23:18

All right, don't lose your temper.

1:23:181:23:20

I'm not saying you did anything wrong.

1:23:201:23:22

It's just the improvidence of youth, I suppose. Still, you'll learn.

1:23:241:23:27

Right.

1:23:311:23:33

-We'll go to Allerthorpe, and stay at the Wheatsheaf.

-What, with Helen?

1:23:331:23:37

She wouldn't mind, I shouldn't think.

1:23:391:23:41

We haven't made any plans, after all.

1:23:411:23:43

Certainly not. I wouldn't dream of it.

1:23:431:23:46

If I say we're going to Allerthorpe, we're going to Allerthorpe!

1:23:481:23:52

And give me those bloody forms!

1:23:521:23:54

LOWING

1:23:581:24:01

-Well, that seems to be the lot.

-Aye, that's it.

-Good.

1:24:071:24:10

Right, I'll be back on Thursday - morning if possible.

1:24:101:24:13

I thought you were getting married, Mr Herriot.

1:24:131:24:16

I am. Tomorrow.

1:24:161:24:19

What, no honeymoon?

1:24:191:24:21

And you'll be coming back on Thursday?

1:24:211:24:24

These tests have got to be finished, Mrs Seaton!

1:24:241:24:26

I'll be coming back with my wife.

1:24:291:24:31

CHURCH BELLS RING

1:24:351:24:37

SHE GIGGLES

1:25:281:25:30

-Helen, look at that!

-What?

-Stop!

1:25:301:25:33

Go back, go back.

1:25:331:25:35

Look!

1:25:411:25:43

He's made me a partner!

1:25:461:25:48