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This film contains strong language from the start | 0:00:26 | 0:00:33 | |
PROJECTOR WHIRRS | 0:00:45 | 0:00:47 | |
"Welcome to Sheffield - the beating heart of Britain's industrial North. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:51 | |
"The jewel in Yorkshire's crown is home to over 500,000 people, | 0:00:51 | 0:00:56 | |
"and thousands more flock here daily to shop and to work. | 0:00:56 | 0:01:00 | |
"All this is built on Sheffield's primary industry - steel. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:05 | |
"The city's rolling mills, forges | 0:01:05 | 0:01:08 | |
"and workshops employ some 90,000 men and state-of-the-art machinery | 0:01:08 | 0:01:13 | |
"to make the world's finest steel - | 0:01:13 | 0:01:16 | |
"from high-tensile girders to cutlery that ends up on your dining table. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:21 | |
"But it's not all hard work for the people of Steel City." | 0:01:21 | 0:01:25 | |
"They can spend the day lounging by the pool, | 0:01:25 | 0:01:28 | |
"watching one of our top soccer teams, | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
"or browsing in the shops. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
"But when the sun goes down, the fun really starts... | 0:01:35 | 0:01:39 | |
"in the city's numerous nightclubs and discotheques. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:43 | |
"Yes, Yorkshire folk know how to have a good time! | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
"And it's good times for the city's housing, too. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
"Sheffield leads the way in town planning. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
"Victorian slums have been cleared | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
"to make way for the homes of the future. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
"Thanks to steel, | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
"Sheffield really is a city on the move!" | 0:02:00 | 0:02:04 | |
CLANKING METAL | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
Who's going to buy a rusty girder? Come on. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:27 | |
Dad, it's stealing. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
No, it's liberating, love. Liberating. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
Gaz, hang on. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:34 | |
Ten years we worked in here, and now look. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
-What if we get caught? -You don't get a record till you're 16. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:41 | |
Just don't tell your mum. | 0:02:41 | 0:02:42 | |
Hey, listen. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
Music. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:46 | |
Yeah. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
MUSIC: Slaidburn by William Rimmer | 0:02:48 | 0:02:51 | |
Bloody hell! | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
What are they doing? | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
It's the works' band. It's still going. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:02 | |
It's about the only thing round here that is. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:06 | |
Ey-up! The security guard's back. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
CLATTERING | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
It won't take a minute, he says. It won't take a minute. Now what? | 0:03:18 | 0:03:22 | |
Shut up. I'm thinking. | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
Can't we do normal things sometimes? | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
What's up with you? This is normal. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:30 | |
Aye. Everyday stuff, this. I think this bugger's sinking. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:34 | |
Pick it up and try and slide it across t'other side. That's it. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:40 | |
No, no! Fucking hell, Nath. | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
They're 20 quid each, them. That were your bloody maintenance. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:47 | |
-Oh, shit! -Ah, nice one. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:50 | |
< Nath. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
Nathan... Fucking hell! | 0:03:52 | 0:03:54 | |
Come here. Come here. Come here. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
(Jesus!) Stay still. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
Stay still! Stay still! | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
All right. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
What's your initiative got to say about this then, bog eyes? | 0:04:03 | 0:04:07 | |
Ey-up, | 0:04:08 | 0:04:10 | |
there's someone coming. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:13 | |
-All right? -Aye, not so bad. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:17 | |
Not so bad? | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
Not so bad?! That's not much of a chuffing SOS, is it? | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
All right! Don't get a benny on. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:25 | |
Shit! | 0:04:27 | 0:04:29 | |
My jeans are bloody soaking. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
You should've taken your kit off. What's up? Are you shy? | 0:04:37 | 0:04:39 | |
Don't. Just shut it, all right? | 0:04:39 | 0:04:41 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:04:41 | 0:04:43 | |
Ey-up, Dave. All right, babe? | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
Dad! | 0:04:45 | 0:04:47 | |
What do you reckon, Dave? Eight? Maybe even a nine. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:50 | |
-You can never tell till you see their tits. -Dad! | 0:04:50 | 0:04:54 | |
-What's all this, then? -It's them Chippendale efforts. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
-You what? -Them dancers. Mum were going on about it. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:00 | |
You're joking! She must be getting desperate. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:04 | |
-Are you all waiting for me? -Yeah... to go home. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
You know where to find me when you're tired of looking at them poofs. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
Come on, Gaz. I'm freezing. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
Women only! | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
Cheeky buggers. It's a bloody working men's club. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:18 | |
< I mean, look at the state of that. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:20 | |
I don't know why you've got to smile about. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:22 | |
I mean, he's got no willy for starters, has he? | 0:05:22 | 0:05:23 | |
There's nowt in a gym will help you there, mate. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:26 | |
No decent woman would be seen dead in there. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:28 | |
Jean would. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
Oh, Dave. What's going on? | 0:05:30 | 0:05:33 | |
It's her money, isn't it? | 0:05:33 | 0:05:35 | |
Fucking hell! Are you going to just stand there while some poof's waving his tackle at your missus! | 0:05:35 | 0:05:40 | |
Where's your pride, man? She's already got you hoovering. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:43 | |
I let it go. But this, no. Get her out and tell her what for. | 0:05:43 | 0:05:46 | |
He can't. It's women only. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
Just hurry up. My feet have gone numb. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:54 | |
That's gratitude. | 0:05:54 | 0:05:55 | |
We're riding into "alley of death" for you, you fat git. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
It's not my fault I can't fit through, is it? | 0:05:58 | 0:06:02 | |
Right. I'll be waiting here, keeping guard. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
Find Auntie Jean and tell her Uncle Dave wants a word. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:07 | |
Do I have to? | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
Good kid. On you go. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:11 | |
CHEERING | 0:06:11 | 0:06:13 | |
MUSIC: I'm The Leader Of The Gang by Gary Glitter | 0:06:14 | 0:06:17 | |
# Come on, come on, come on, come on | 0:06:19 | 0:06:22 | |
# Come on, come on, come on | 0:06:22 | 0:06:24 | |
# Let's go! Come on, come on | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
# Come on, come on, come on, come on | 0:06:27 | 0:06:31 | |
# Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on... # | 0:06:32 | 0:06:35 | |
I'm not waiting in that bloody queue. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
I always wanted a nosy in the men's. Oh, muscles! | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
It's not their bodies. It's what they do with them that counts. > | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
I don't know what you're worrying about | 0:06:51 | 0:06:54 | |
-with you-know-who on your tail. -# Frankie! # | 0:06:54 | 0:06:58 | |
Eh, eh! Frank don't fancy me, | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
and I don't fancy Frank, right? | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
So bloody well give over. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
Eh, do you think he might, though? | 0:07:06 | 0:07:08 | |
No, I couldn't do that to Dave. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:13 | |
Not even if I wanted to. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:16 | |
But it's like he's given up. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
Work. Me. Everything. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
-Ah, love. -Here, love. This'll cheer you up. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
I weren't in t'Girl Guides for nowt. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:38 | |
RAUCOUS LAUGHTER | 0:07:38 | 0:07:40 | |
Gaz. Gaz. That were our Jean, weren't it? | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
No. Just a couple of tarts. I'm going back in for Nath. | 0:07:58 | 0:08:02 | |
MUSIC: Hot Stuff by Donna Summer | 0:08:02 | 0:08:04 | |
You're in big trouble. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:09 | |
What about Auntie Jean? | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
CHEERING | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
Auntie Jean's busy. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:16 | |
SCREAMING | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
I don't feel well. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
Of course you don't. You've got an hangover. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
Take a day off. Hang about at home. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:30 | |
Your house is messy. Cold, and all. | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
Come down Jobclub. That'd be a right laugh. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:35 | |
Mum's house is always warm. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
I can't always have the red carpet out for you, can I? | 0:08:37 | 0:08:40 | |
Anyway, it's not your mum's house. It's whatshisname... Barry's. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:45 | |
Tell you what, next weekend, I'll have a tidy round. I promise. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:48 | |
-Even go and see a footie game. -Yeah? | 0:08:48 | 0:08:51 | |
Sunday league going down the park. It's got some right good players. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
United are playing Man U. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
Nath. You know I can't stretch to that. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
You always make me do stupid stuff like last night. Other dads don't. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:04 | |
Don't they? | 0:09:04 | 0:09:06 | |
Aye. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:08 | |
Bye. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:10 | |
Here, Nath! | 0:09:11 | 0:09:13 | |
We could sneak in to Man U. There's a gap in t'fence. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:15 | |
No! | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
OK. I'll get tickets. I will. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:20 | |
Ooh, ah, Cantona, has to wear a girlie bra! | 0:09:20 | 0:09:23 | |
Stuff 'em, Nath. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
Fuck. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
I want your application letters done when I get back. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:40 | |
Right? Any problems, I'm outside. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
I tell you, when women start pissing like us, | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
that's it. | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
We're finished, Dave. Extincto. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:59 | |
Yeah, but I mean... | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
How? You know... How? | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
Genetic mutations, in't it? They're turning into us. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:06 | |
A few years and men won't exist. > | 0:10:06 | 0:10:08 | |
Except in a zoo or summat. We're not needed no more. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:12 | |
Obsolete. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:14 | |
Dinosaurs. Yesterday's news. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:17 | |
Like skateboards. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
Button it! Some of us are trying to get a job. It says 'No Smoking'! | 0:10:22 | 0:10:27 | |
And it says Jobclub! | 0:10:27 | 0:10:29 | |
When was the last time you saw one of them walk in? | 0:10:29 | 0:10:32 | |
Gerald, you're not our foreman any more. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
You're just like the rest of us. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
Scrap. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:39 | |
Shut it, right? | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
Hang on. Why were them women | 0:10:43 | 0:10:45 | |
in t'working men's club in the first place? | 0:10:45 | 0:10:48 | |
Now, then, cos of us - men. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
You call them Chippendales men? | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
Degrading - that's what it were. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:54 | |
How many lasses were there? | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
Thousands, baying for blood. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:58 | |
Ten quid to watch some fucking poof get his kit off. Ten quid! | 0:10:58 | 0:11:03 | |
Right. Times ten quid by 1,000, and you've got... | 0:11:03 | 0:11:06 | |
Yeah, a lot... A very lot. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:10 | |
Ten thousand quid. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
How much?! | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
Ten thousand quid. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:18 | |
Eh, now, Dave. I mean, it's worth a thought, though, in't it? | 0:11:21 | 0:11:25 | |
I can see Little and Large prancing round with their widgers out. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:32 | |
That would be worth ten quid. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
Don't be so bloody daft. We were just saying. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
Widgers on parade. Bring a microscope. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
I don't see why the chuff not. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
You're fat. He's thin, and you're both fucking ugly. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:44 | |
Bastard! | 0:11:45 | 0:11:47 | |
SHOUTING | 0:11:47 | 0:11:49 | |
What's this about sole custody? | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
If you want joint custody, you have to pay your share. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:05 | |
-< 700 quid. -I'm on t'dole. Hadn't you noticed? | 0:12:05 | 0:12:08 | |
Get a job. I'll give you a job. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:10 | |
£2.50 an hour in t'black hole of Calcutta? No, thank you. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:14 | |
If you want to play games, you can, but Nathan's having two parents. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:19 | |
And your bloody lover's going to do that? | 0:12:19 | 0:12:22 | |
Here he is. Evening, Barry. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:23 | |
That'll be for the court to decide. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
It won't. Nathan's yours and mine. He's fuck all to do with him. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:29 | |
As if you've ever given a toss. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:31 | |
Face it, Gary. He don't even like staying at yours. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
Of course he bloody does. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
Ask him! Ask him! | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
Nath, we have a laugh, don't we, kid? > | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
Gary! Don't. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:44 | |
Is he in? Is he in?! | 0:12:44 | 0:12:46 | |
Nath! > | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
Well, he can't hear you through your triple bloody glazing. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:53 | |
He can hear, all right. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
This is... This is all wrong, this is. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:57 | |
It's all to fucking cock. | 0:12:57 | 0:12:59 | |
I'm his dad, and you, you're nobody. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
Goodnight, Gary. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
Goodnight, Nath. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
See you, kid. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:21 | |
No, not doing it. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:31 | |
< I'm not stripping. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:33 | |
They're taking him away. | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
£700 and they've got nowt on me. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:37 | |
Gaz, no. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:38 | |
Dave, he's my kid. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:40 | |
-I suppose there's nicking cars. -No. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:43 | |
Well, then. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:45 | |
Look, I'll help. I'm running, aren't I? | 0:13:45 | 0:13:48 | |
But I'm taking nowt off. Final. | 0:13:48 | 0:13:50 | |
Come on, Dave. Don't stop now. | 0:13:50 | 0:13:52 | |
Keep up, you fat bastard. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:53 | |
Gazza, you tosser. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:55 | |
IGNITION SPUTTERS | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
Do you need a hand? > | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
Yeah, it's your HT leads, I reckon. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:17 | |
Give it a go of that. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:19 | |
ENGINE STARTS | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
Didn't you used to work at Harrison's? | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
Ah, I thought I clocked you. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:32 | |
I were on t'floor with Gaz. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
Him up the road. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
How's it going, then? | 0:14:36 | 0:14:38 | |
Have you got any work? | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
No, there's not a lot about, is there? | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
Yeah, get new ones when you get the chance. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
Oh, no. My chuffing pleasure. | 0:14:48 | 0:14:51 | |
Dave? | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
Are you all right, kid? > | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
You bastard. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
You could shoot yourself. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
< Where's he going to find a gun? | 0:15:38 | 0:15:41 | |
You want to find yourself a big bridge, you do. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
Yeah, like one of them bungy jumps, without the bungy bit. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:49 | |
I can't stand heights, me. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:51 | |
Drowning. There's a way to go. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
I can't swim. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
You don't have to fucking swim, you divvy. That's the whole point. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:10 | |
You're not very keen, are you? | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
Sorry. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:15 | |
I know. You could stand in the middle of the road, | 0:16:15 | 0:16:18 | |
and get a mate to drive smack into you, right fast. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:22 | |
I haven't got any mates. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:25 | |
We just saved your fucking life. Don't tell us we're not your mates. | 0:16:25 | 0:16:30 | |
Yeah? | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
Yeah, me and all. > | 0:16:32 | 0:16:35 | |
I'd run you down soon as look at you. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:37 | |
Oh, cheers... Ta. | 0:16:37 | 0:16:40 | |
Thanks a lot. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:46 | |
WHEEZING | 0:16:58 | 0:17:00 | |
-What are you doing, Mum? -Where have you been? | 0:17:02 | 0:17:04 | |
Driving. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:07 | |
Driving where? | 0:17:07 | 0:17:09 | |
Just driving. | 0:17:09 | 0:17:11 | |
I thought you'd gone. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:13 | |
< Security guard in here - no wonder he wants to die. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:18 | |
At least one bloke got a job out of this place being shut down. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:22 | |
What did you tell him for, anyroad? The kid's a nutter. | 0:17:22 | 0:17:26 | |
He's a bugle player. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:28 | |
He'll come in handy. We might need a bit of music. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:31 | |
He's got a car, somewhere to practice. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:34 | |
Besides, good whatshisname for the lad - | 0:17:35 | 0:17:38 | |
therapy. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:39 | |
Oh, aye. Jiggling about in the buff - therapy. | 0:17:39 | 0:17:43 | |
He won't be the only one trying to top himself | 0:17:43 | 0:17:46 | |
if you carry on with this caper. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
-Dad, I'm hungry. -CAR HORN BEEPS | 0:17:48 | 0:17:50 | |
Ey-up. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:52 | |
Eh, Lomper. | 0:17:58 | 0:18:00 | |
< Where's my rice? | 0:18:00 | 0:18:01 | |
"Try the cylinder head, tubby." | 0:18:01 | 0:18:04 | |
I don't like Chinese. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:08 | |
Of course you do... Don't you? | 0:18:08 | 0:18:10 | |
Let's see his records. | 0:18:10 | 0:18:12 | |
What have we got then, Dave? | 0:18:12 | 0:18:15 | |
The Floral Dance. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:17 | |
-Marching With Hepworth? -Jesus Christ. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:21 | |
Ah! Hot Chocolate. Now we're talking. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:24 | |
# I believe in miracles | 0:18:24 | 0:18:26 | |
# Till you came along | 0:18:26 | 0:18:28 | |
BOTH: # You sexy thang! | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
Stick it on, Dave. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
Dad. Dad, don't. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:46 | |
It's all right, Nathan. It's right, is this. I've seen them do it. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:52 | |
"Good evening, shoppers. Tonight's special offer... OK." | 0:18:52 | 0:18:57 | |
"You Sexy Thing." | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
One, two. A one, two, three, four. | 0:18:59 | 0:19:01 | |
MUSIC: You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate | 0:19:01 | 0:19:03 | |
CLINKING | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
# I believe in miracles | 0:19:18 | 0:19:20 | |
# Where are you from | 0:19:22 | 0:19:23 | |
# You sexy thing? | 0:19:23 | 0:19:25 | |
# Sexy thing, you | 0:19:25 | 0:19:27 | |
# I believe in miracles | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
# Since you came along | 0:19:31 | 0:19:33 | |
# You sexy thing | 0:19:33 | 0:19:35 | |
# Where did you come from? # | 0:19:44 | 0:19:46 | |
NEEDLE SCRAPES ACROSS RECORD | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
-We need an audience. -"You need a doctor." | 0:19:49 | 0:19:52 | |
There's summat up with that kid. | 0:19:57 | 0:19:59 | |
-Are you sure you checked the whole top end? -Yeah. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
There's no point. He went out. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
What? | 0:20:09 | 0:20:11 | |
I seen him go. | 0:20:11 | 0:20:13 | |
There's the beggar. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
Oh, Nath! Nathan! | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
Nathan. | 0:20:18 | 0:20:20 | |
Hell fire! | 0:20:24 | 0:20:26 | |
What are you doing out here, kid? | 0:20:26 | 0:20:27 | |
Nowt. Walking home. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:29 | |
It's miles home. You know that. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:32 | |
Why did you run off like that? | 0:20:32 | 0:20:35 | |
You're embarrassed, aren't you? | 0:20:37 | 0:20:39 | |
You think your own dad's a dickhead. | 0:20:39 | 0:20:42 | |
We're not doing this for a laugh, you know. | 0:20:44 | 0:20:47 | |
I'm trying to get some brass together, | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
so as you and me can keep seeing each other. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:53 | |
They're trying to stop us, you see. | 0:20:53 | 0:20:56 | |
Oh, well, I may as well not bother, except I'm your dad. | 0:20:56 | 0:21:00 | |
That counts for something, don't it? | 0:21:03 | 0:21:05 | |
I like you. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:12 | |
I love you, you bugger. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:15 | |
All right, kid? | 0:21:17 | 0:21:19 | |
-All right? -Yeah. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:29 | |
Nutter! | 0:21:31 | 0:21:33 | |
BALLROOM MUSIC PLAYS | 0:21:38 | 0:21:40 | |
< Well, you said dancing. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:44 | |
It were a great idea, kid. Just not the right sort of dancing. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:48 | |
< Gaz, eh, look here. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
< Oh, my God! | 0:21:52 | 0:21:54 | |
< Gerald, you'll be famous down t'Jobclub. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:57 | |
< He's not bad for a bastard, is he? | 0:21:57 | 0:21:59 | |
< He's dead, that's what he is. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
You wanted a dance teacher. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:09 | |
Gerald?! He'd tell every bugger. We'd be laughed out of Sheffield. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:14 | |
Ey-up, lads, bandits at six o'clock. | 0:22:15 | 0:22:18 | |
Ah, come in, Torvill. Park your sequins over here. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:25 | |
-You've had your little laugh. You can piss off. -It's a free country. | 0:22:25 | 0:22:29 | |
You were good. Very nifty footwork. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:31 | |
Gerald! | 0:22:31 | 0:22:33 | |
Oh, hello. We're missing the rumba. | 0:22:33 | 0:22:35 | |
Sorry, I was having a chat with some pals from work. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:38 | |
Oh. You're not thinking of joining our class? | 0:22:38 | 0:22:42 | |
Funny you should mention it. | 0:22:42 | 0:22:44 | |
I think we'd better be getting back. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
Well, goodnight. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:48 | |
You get back to your rumba. We'll see you later, Gerald. | 0:22:48 | 0:22:52 | |
At work. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:54 | |
He's got gnomes. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:16 | |
Aye, he bloody would have. > | 0:23:16 | 0:23:18 | |
# Ba, ba, ba, ba... # | 0:23:20 | 0:23:22 | |
Things looking up? | 0:23:22 | 0:23:24 | |
Do you know? I think they just might be. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
You've been working too hard. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
It's time you let one of your colleagues do the lion's share. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:33 | |
I wish you'd be firmer, Gerald. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:35 | |
Oh, well. I mustn't be late. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:36 | |
So it's all right if I...? | 0:23:36 | 0:23:38 | |
Oh, Linda love, you know - | 0:23:38 | 0:23:40 | |
Don't be so mean. Things are looking up. You said so. | 0:23:40 | 0:23:43 | |
You'll love skiing. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:45 | |
Linda... | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
It doesn't matter. Bye. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:55 | |
Hey, Gaz. | 0:24:00 | 0:24:02 | |
Off to the office, are we? | 0:24:10 | 0:24:11 | |
As a matter of fact, yes, I bloody am. Put that back! | 0:24:11 | 0:24:15 | |
See that? Interview. In the bag. Mate - I know him from Harrison's. | 0:24:15 | 0:24:20 | |
I can do the job standing on my head. | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
-I won't have to look at you again. -Come on. We just need a bit of help. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:26 | |
I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do to help the likes of you. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:29 | |
We just want to know about dancing. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:32 | |
Dancers have co-ordination, skill, timing, | 0:24:32 | 0:24:35 | |
fitness and grace. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
Take a long hard look in the mirror. | 0:24:37 | 0:24:39 | |
Now, I'm busy. | 0:24:39 | 0:24:41 | |
Don't be late for t'Jobclub, lads. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
Bastard! | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
Starting at £16,000, plus the pension. > | 0:24:52 | 0:24:54 | |
It'll be a relief to get back to work. | 0:24:54 | 0:24:56 | |
It's not been an easy six months, granted. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:58 | |
I'm up-to-date with the latest industry developments, | 0:24:58 | 0:25:02 | |
and I've kept myself... | 0:25:02 | 0:25:03 | |
..busy, you know? | 0:25:08 | 0:25:10 | |
Well, all the qualifications are there, obviously, | 0:25:10 | 0:25:14 | |
and we go back further than I care to remember. | 0:25:14 | 0:25:17 | |
Sorry? | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
What we're asking is... | 0:25:26 | 0:25:28 | |
after such a long lay-off, do you think you're up to it? | 0:25:28 | 0:25:32 | |
You! | 0:25:38 | 0:25:40 | |
Fucking hell! | 0:25:40 | 0:25:42 | |
Calm down, mate. | 0:25:43 | 0:25:45 | |
Cut it out, Gerry, mate. | 0:25:45 | 0:25:47 | |
-You didn't get it, then? -Get out the way! | 0:25:47 | 0:25:49 | |
Look, leave it. | 0:25:49 | 0:25:51 | |
Bastard! That were mine, that job! | 0:25:51 | 0:25:54 | |
You don't give a toss, you kids! It's different for me. | 0:25:54 | 0:25:58 | |
I've got a standard of living, | 0:25:58 | 0:26:00 | |
responsibilities. I were on my way up. | 0:26:00 | 0:26:02 | |
I am on my way up! | 0:26:02 | 0:26:04 | |
I had my first interview in months. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:08 | |
I could have got my first month in advance. She'd never have known. | 0:26:08 | 0:26:13 | |
Now what? | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
< She's still got credit cards. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:17 | |
She's let loose on t'high street with a fucking Barclaycard, | 0:26:17 | 0:26:22 | |
spending! | 0:26:22 | 0:26:24 | |
Why can't you just tell her? | 0:26:24 | 0:26:26 | |
How can I tell her after six months? | 0:26:26 | 0:26:29 | |
A woman who wants to go skiing for our holidays? | 0:26:30 | 0:26:34 | |
HE SOBS | 0:26:35 | 0:26:37 | |
< Skiing, for fuck's sake! | 0:26:37 | 0:26:39 | |
Why did you do it? | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
It was my job! | 0:26:43 | 0:26:45 | |
It had to be my...job. | 0:26:45 | 0:26:49 | |
Can't you just leave me alone? | 0:27:27 | 0:27:29 | |
I stuck it with Superglue. | 0:27:42 | 0:27:44 | |
You can't hardly see the join, though. | 0:27:44 | 0:27:46 | |
Go on. | 0:27:52 | 0:27:55 | |
Got this in t'jumble, like, | 0:27:55 | 0:27:57 | |
to say sorry. | 0:27:57 | 0:27:59 | |
The wheels go round and everything. | 0:28:01 | 0:28:03 | |
It's for your gnomes, really, not you, but... | 0:28:05 | 0:28:09 | |
I er... | 0:28:09 | 0:28:11 | |
I don't know... | 0:28:11 | 0:28:13 | |
It's marvellous, this. | 0:28:16 | 0:28:18 | |
We were thinking, you could maybe put it next to t'wishing well. | 0:28:23 | 0:28:28 | |
Make a bit of a... | 0:28:28 | 0:28:30 | |
Feature. | 0:28:30 | 0:28:31 | |
Yeah. What do you reck? | 0:28:31 | 0:28:33 | |
Ta, lads, eh. | 0:28:39 | 0:28:41 | |
Ta very much. | 0:28:42 | 0:28:44 | |
Cigarette me, for fuck's sake. | 0:28:46 | 0:28:49 | |
< Think any of them could dance? | 0:28:52 | 0:28:55 | |
You're not still on about this Chippendales malarkey, are you? | 0:28:55 | 0:28:59 | |
A Yorkshire version. | 0:28:59 | 0:29:01 | |
-If them buggers can, we bloody can. -You can't dance. | 0:29:01 | 0:29:04 | |
We know, Gerald. | 0:29:04 | 0:29:06 | |
Why do you think we're trailing you? | 0:29:06 | 0:29:08 | |
It's not my kind of dancing. It's all arse-wiggling, and that. | 0:29:08 | 0:29:12 | |
I've got a degree in arse-wiggling. | 0:29:12 | 0:29:14 | |
You learn us dancing, and I'll learn you t'rest. | 0:29:14 | 0:29:18 | |
For once, I'm dead serious. I need your help. | 0:29:18 | 0:29:21 | |
What if someone spots me? What if Linda finds out? I've got standing. | 0:29:21 | 0:29:25 | |
You've an overdraft, and all, mate. | 0:29:25 | 0:29:27 | |
MUSIC: Je T'aime... Moi Non Plus by Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin | 0:29:27 | 0:29:32 | |
# Je t'aime | 0:29:37 | 0:29:39 | |
# Je t'aime | 0:29:39 | 0:29:41 | |
# Oh, oui, je t'aime! | 0:29:41 | 0:29:43 | |
# Moi non plus | 0:29:43 | 0:29:45 | |
# Oh, mon amour | 0:29:48 | 0:29:50 | |
# Comme la vague irresolue | 0:29:52 | 0:29:57 | |
# Je vais, je vais et je viens | 0:29:59 | 0:30:03 | |
# Entre tes reins | 0:30:07 | 0:30:09 | |
# Je vais et je viens | 0:30:12 | 0:30:15 | |
# Entre tes reins | 0:30:15 | 0:30:17 | |
# Et je me re... # | 0:30:17 | 0:30:19 | |
MUSIC OFF | 0:30:19 | 0:30:22 | |
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. | 0:30:22 | 0:30:24 | |
< I thought I'd give it a go. | 0:30:24 | 0:30:27 | |
I got a bit desperate, like. You know how it is. | 0:30:27 | 0:30:30 | |
I can't even take my kit off properly, can I? | 0:30:30 | 0:30:33 | |
You're all right, Reg. I'll get you a cup of tea. | 0:30:33 | 0:30:36 | |
No, thanks. I've got the kids outside. | 0:30:36 | 0:30:38 | |
Well, bring them in. | 0:30:38 | 0:30:40 | |
No. | 0:30:40 | 0:30:42 | |
This is no place for kids. | 0:30:42 | 0:30:44 | |
This is crazy. | 0:30:53 | 0:30:55 | |
So... It's Mr Horrs. | 0:30:58 | 0:31:01 | |
Horse. | 0:31:01 | 0:31:04 | |
Yeah, well, just a minute, Mr Horse. | 0:31:04 | 0:31:07 | |
My colleagues in the panel. | 0:31:07 | 0:31:09 | |
Ask him why he's called the "horse". | 0:31:09 | 0:31:11 | |
You bloody ask him. It's not cos he does t'Grand National, is it? | 0:31:11 | 0:31:16 | |
But why have a big wanger | 0:31:16 | 0:31:18 | |
when you need a Zimmer frame to tout it in? | 0:31:18 | 0:31:21 | |
He must be 50, if he's a day. > | 0:31:21 | 0:31:23 | |
So, Horse, what can you do? | 0:31:23 | 0:31:26 | |
I dunno really. | 0:31:26 | 0:31:28 | |
< Um, let's see. There's the er... | 0:31:28 | 0:31:31 | |
There's the bump. | 0:31:32 | 0:31:34 | |
The stomp. | 0:31:34 | 0:31:36 | |
The bus stop. My break-dancing days are probably over. | 0:31:36 | 0:31:40 | |
-There's always the funky chicken. -Now you're talking. | 0:31:40 | 0:31:42 | |
All of them? | 0:31:42 | 0:31:44 | |
Yeah. I think so. It's been a while, mind. I've got this dodgy hip. | 0:31:44 | 0:31:49 | |
Yeah, well... Stick it on, Nath. | 0:31:49 | 0:31:53 | |
Do your worst, pal. > | 0:31:53 | 0:31:55 | |
# One, two, three! | 0:31:55 | 0:31:57 | |
# One, two, three! | 0:31:57 | 0:31:59 | |
# All right | 0:32:05 | 0:32:08 | |
# Got to know how to pony | 0:32:08 | 0:32:11 | |
# Like Bony Maronie | 0:32:11 | 0:32:14 | |
# Mash potato | 0:32:14 | 0:32:16 | |
# Do the alligator | 0:32:16 | 0:32:18 | |
# Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na... | 0:32:21 | 0:32:28 | |
# Waaaargh! # | 0:32:28 | 0:32:30 | |
My top film's Singing In T'Rain - that walking up t'wall thing. | 0:32:35 | 0:32:40 | |
(He knows me. He plastered our bathroom. Get rid of him.) | 0:32:40 | 0:32:43 | |
-(Shut up. It'll be fine.) -(He'll blow my cover.) | 0:32:43 | 0:32:46 | |
(Shut up.) What walking up t'wall thing? | 0:32:46 | 0:32:48 | |
I'll show you. | 0:32:48 | 0:32:50 | |
I'm Donald O'Connor, right. | 0:32:50 | 0:32:52 | |
That's the wall. | 0:32:55 | 0:32:57 | |
< Ooof! | 0:33:03 | 0:33:05 | |
Ah, well, er... | 0:33:08 | 0:33:10 | |
It's better than that in t'film, like. | 0:33:10 | 0:33:13 | |
So, you don't sing? | 0:33:15 | 0:33:18 | |
No. | 0:33:18 | 0:33:19 | |
You don't dance? | 0:33:19 | 0:33:21 | |
No. | 0:33:21 | 0:33:23 | |
I hope you don't think I'm being nosy, but what do you do? | 0:33:23 | 0:33:27 | |
Well, er... | 0:33:27 | 0:33:29 | |
There is this. | 0:33:30 | 0:33:32 | |
Gentlemen, | 0:33:41 | 0:33:43 | |
the lunch box has landed. | 0:33:43 | 0:33:45 | |
Chuffing Norah! | 0:33:50 | 0:33:52 | |
All right, Gerald? I didn't see you over there. I did his bathroom. | 0:33:52 | 0:33:57 | |
Hello, Guy. | 0:33:58 | 0:34:00 | |
Nath! | 0:34:00 | 0:34:02 | |
Nathan! > | 0:34:02 | 0:34:05 | |
-I say, Jean. -Yeah? | 0:34:09 | 0:34:11 | |
Ever been out with a black bloke? | 0:34:11 | 0:34:13 | |
< You know I haven't, Dave. | 0:34:13 | 0:34:15 | |
But... | 0:34:15 | 0:34:17 | |
If you were on t'lookout for a new fella... If you were, just saying, | 0:34:17 | 0:34:22 | |
would you think about it? | 0:34:22 | 0:34:24 | |
What's got into you? | 0:34:24 | 0:34:26 | |
No, would you, though? | 0:34:27 | 0:34:30 | |
I might do, yeah. | 0:34:30 | 0:34:32 | |
Is that all right? | 0:34:32 | 0:34:34 | |
So it's true, then. | 0:34:34 | 0:34:36 | |
I've bloody had enough. What's true? | 0:34:36 | 0:34:38 | |
What they say about black blokes. They've got great bodies. | 0:34:38 | 0:34:43 | |
Some of them, yeah. | 0:34:43 | 0:34:45 | |
And...? | 0:34:47 | 0:34:49 | |
Nothing. | 0:34:49 | 0:34:51 | |
I don't care if they're black, white, or bloody rainbow-coloured. | 0:34:52 | 0:34:57 | |
I'm married to you. Remember? | 0:34:57 | 0:34:59 | |
Yeah. | 0:35:00 | 0:35:03 | |
Goodnight. | 0:35:06 | 0:35:08 | |
Why would I want anyone else, eh? | 0:35:11 | 0:35:13 | |
Big man? | 0:35:14 | 0:35:16 | |
Jeanie. | 0:35:21 | 0:35:24 | |
I'm all in. | 0:35:24 | 0:35:26 | |
It's amazing how tiring it is doing nowt, you know. | 0:35:28 | 0:35:31 | |
They're just messing, Dave. > | 0:36:00 | 0:36:02 | |
-Do you reckon? -Or course. It's just Jean, in't it. | 0:36:02 | 0:36:06 | |
Have you got any of them mint chocolate jobs? | 0:36:08 | 0:36:11 | |
Get lost. You're on a diet. | 0:36:11 | 0:36:13 | |
Don't you start, and all. | 0:36:13 | 0:36:14 | |
How much have you got, then? | 0:36:14 | 0:36:16 | |
22... 27 pence. | 0:36:19 | 0:36:21 | |
£4.99. Special offer. We're still a fucking fiver short. | 0:36:21 | 0:36:24 | |
Well, you know what this means, Dave. | 0:36:24 | 0:36:27 | |
-Ah, no. Come on, Gaz. Why me? -You've got an innocent face. | 0:36:28 | 0:36:31 | |
I've got serial killer written on my forehead. | 0:36:31 | 0:36:34 | |
If you're not dancing, do something useful. | 0:36:34 | 0:36:37 | |
What if Jean finds out? She's over there. | 0:36:37 | 0:36:39 | |
She's miles away. See you later. | 0:36:39 | 0:36:41 | |
Good luck. | 0:36:41 | 0:36:43 | |
-Give us a pear drop, you. -They're not paid for. | 0:36:43 | 0:36:46 | |
SECURITY ALARM | 0:37:07 | 0:37:09 | |
ALARM STOPS | 0:37:12 | 0:37:14 | |
SECURITY ALARM | 0:37:23 | 0:37:25 | |
MUSIC: Flashdance (What A Feeling) by Irene Cara | 0:37:27 | 0:37:30 | |
# First, when there's nothing | 0:37:30 | 0:37:33 | |
# But a slow glowing dream... # | 0:37:35 | 0:37:38 | |
Hey, what's this? | 0:37:38 | 0:37:40 | |
I didn't go on the nick for a women's DIY video. | 0:37:40 | 0:37:44 | |
-It's Flashdance. She's a welder, in't she? -A welder? | 0:37:44 | 0:37:47 | |
I hope she dances better than she welds. Her mix is all to cock. | 0:37:47 | 0:37:52 | |
What the fuck do you know about welding? | 0:37:52 | 0:37:54 | |
More than some chuffing woman. | 0:37:54 | 0:37:56 | |
Aah! It's like bonfire night. Them joints won't hold fuck all. | 0:37:56 | 0:38:00 | |
For Christ's sake, we're looking for t'dancing. | 0:38:00 | 0:38:03 | |
He's got the hump about Asda. | 0:38:03 | 0:38:05 | |
Hey... Cop a load of that. | 0:38:05 | 0:38:08 | |
# What a feeling... # | 0:38:08 | 0:38:10 | |
-GERALD: -Yeah. She's nifty on her pins. | 0:38:11 | 0:38:14 | |
# You just come alive You can dance right... # | 0:38:14 | 0:38:17 | |
That, gentlemen, is what we are looking for. | 0:38:17 | 0:38:20 | |
I can just see him doing that twizzling-about bollocks. | 0:38:20 | 0:38:25 | |
It's souped-up tango. I can teach any bugger in a week, even you. | 0:38:25 | 0:38:29 | |
Even a fat bastard like me? | 0:38:29 | 0:38:31 | |
I know what I am, so don't take the piss, you. | 0:38:31 | 0:38:34 | |
All right. | 0:38:34 | 0:38:36 | |
Two weeks. | 0:38:36 | 0:38:38 | |
< Straight up? | 0:38:38 | 0:38:40 | |
# Being is believing | 0:38:44 | 0:38:45 | |
# Being is believing... # | 0:38:45 | 0:38:47 | |
I don't know, Gaz. | 0:38:47 | 0:38:49 | |
Jean reckons I should take that security guard job down at Asda. | 0:38:49 | 0:38:54 | |
Jesus! Security? | 0:38:54 | 0:38:56 | |
You're worth more than that, Dave. | 0:38:56 | 0:38:58 | |
She don't think so. | 0:38:58 | 0:39:00 | |
I reckon summat's going on with that bloke. | 0:39:00 | 0:39:03 | |
The juggling bugger? No, no way. | 0:39:03 | 0:39:05 | |
It's not as if I'd blame her. | 0:39:07 | 0:39:09 | |
You could show her, Dave. | 0:39:09 | 0:39:11 | |
Nobody tells them Chippendales to be security. Raking it in. | 0:39:11 | 0:39:15 | |
Two weeks. That's what the man said, and he's not taking the piss. | 0:39:15 | 0:39:20 | |
It's a thought. | 0:39:20 | 0:39:21 | |
It's more than a thought! | 0:39:21 | 0:39:23 | |
Think of Jean's face when she sees you dancing like old Flashdance. | 0:39:23 | 0:39:27 | |
Two weeks? | 0:39:27 | 0:39:29 | |
Just like flashy tits? | 0:39:29 | 0:39:31 | |
That's what your man said. | 0:39:31 | 0:39:33 | |
Eh... I can weld better than her, and all. | 0:39:33 | 0:39:36 | |
# Looking for some hot love... # | 0:39:38 | 0:39:40 | |
Stop. No, no, no! | 0:39:40 | 0:39:42 | |
What? | 0:39:42 | 0:39:43 | |
You, stay still, | 0:39:43 | 0:39:45 | |
-and you go forward, OK? -OK. | 0:39:45 | 0:39:49 | |
All right, Nathan. | 0:39:49 | 0:39:51 | |
MUSIC: Hot Stuff by Donna Summer | 0:39:51 | 0:39:52 | |
One, two, three... No! | 0:39:52 | 0:39:56 | |
No, Jesus! | 0:39:56 | 0:39:58 | |
Christ! All I want to do is get you in a straight bloody line. | 0:39:58 | 0:40:03 | |
What do I have to do? | 0:40:03 | 0:40:05 | |
-It's the Arsenal offside trap. -You what? | 0:40:05 | 0:40:08 | |
The Arsenal offside trap - Lomper here is Tony Adams, right? | 0:40:08 | 0:40:12 | |
Any bugger looks like scoring, | 0:40:12 | 0:40:15 | |
we step forward in a line, and wave our arms around like a fairy. | 0:40:15 | 0:40:19 | |
Well, that's easy. | 0:40:19 | 0:40:21 | |
OK. | 0:40:21 | 0:40:23 | |
Nathan. | 0:40:23 | 0:40:25 | |
# Gotta have some hot stuff | 0:40:26 | 0:40:28 | |
# Gotta have some love tonight! # | 0:40:28 | 0:40:30 | |
Yes! | 0:40:30 | 0:40:32 | |
Perfect. | 0:40:32 | 0:40:35 | |
-Perfect. -Well, you should have said. | 0:40:35 | 0:40:38 | |
Come on. Get in quick and wipe your boots. | 0:40:42 | 0:40:45 | |
-Hey, put that back! You'll break it. -I'm just looking. | 0:40:48 | 0:40:52 | |
It's a bit posh, in't it? | 0:40:52 | 0:40:54 | |
Right, then. Are we right? | 0:40:54 | 0:40:56 | |
Right for what? > | 0:40:56 | 0:40:57 | |
Taking our kit off? | 0:40:57 | 0:40:59 | |
I thought you were turning me into a dancer? | 0:41:00 | 0:41:03 | |
-We are strippers, aren't we? -What, here? Now? > | 0:41:03 | 0:41:07 | |
In this house? | 0:41:07 | 0:41:09 | |
This is a good area, this is. | 0:41:10 | 0:41:12 | |
Gaz, I dunno. | 0:41:12 | 0:41:14 | |
If we can't get our kit off here, | 0:41:14 | 0:41:16 | |
what chance have we got in front of them lasses? Tops off. | 0:41:16 | 0:41:20 | |
Come on. | 0:41:24 | 0:41:26 | |
No looking, and no laughing, you bastards. | 0:41:29 | 0:41:32 | |
I used to have a proper job, me. | 0:41:39 | 0:41:42 | |
I ask you, what are we doing? | 0:41:44 | 0:41:46 | |
What are we doing? > | 0:41:46 | 0:41:48 | |
And the keks. | 0:41:56 | 0:41:58 | |
-Horse by name, horse by nature. -Shut it, you. | 0:42:15 | 0:42:18 | |
-How come you're so brown? -No reason. | 0:42:18 | 0:42:21 | |
Someone's got a sun bed, in't they, Gerald? | 0:42:21 | 0:42:24 | |
It's Linda's. No, you can't. Don't think of asking. | 0:42:24 | 0:42:27 | |
-What am I going to do about this? -Well, it's not too bad. > | 0:42:27 | 0:42:30 | |
From the front, like. | 0:42:30 | 0:42:33 | |
Fat, David, is a feminist issue. | 0:42:33 | 0:42:36 | |
What's that supposed to mean? | 0:42:36 | 0:42:38 | |
I don't bloody know, but it is. | 0:42:38 | 0:42:41 | |
I tried dieting. | 0:42:41 | 0:42:43 | |
I do try. | 0:42:44 | 0:42:46 | |
I seem to have spent most of my fucking life on a diet. | 0:42:46 | 0:42:50 | |
The less I eat the fatter I get. | 0:42:50 | 0:42:52 | |
Stuff yourself, and get thin. | 0:42:52 | 0:42:53 | |
Shut up, saggy tits. | 0:42:53 | 0:42:55 | |
They're not. | 0:42:55 | 0:42:57 | |
Linda's mate had plastic put on her at this health club, | 0:42:58 | 0:43:02 | |
and she lost stones. It were like magic. > | 0:43:02 | 0:43:05 | |
What's it called, now? Anyway, it's like clingfilm. | 0:43:05 | 0:43:09 | |
I've heard of that. | 0:43:09 | 0:43:11 | |
I'm not a chicken drumstick, Gerald. | 0:43:11 | 0:43:14 | |
Oh, you wrap it round. | 0:43:14 | 0:43:16 | |
Reduce the fat. | 0:43:16 | 0:43:18 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:43:18 | 0:43:20 | |
You can't just take stuff. | 0:43:25 | 0:43:27 | |
-Sorry, mate. -I only owe him 120 quid. | 0:43:27 | 0:43:30 | |
That's all these'll get second hand. | 0:43:30 | 0:43:32 | |
They're not second hand. | 0:43:32 | 0:43:34 | |
They are now, mate. | 0:43:34 | 0:43:36 | |
Put down and piss off. | 0:43:37 | 0:43:39 | |
'Kin hell! | 0:43:39 | 0:43:41 | |
I think there's been a mistake. We'll just check with the office. | 0:43:45 | 0:43:48 | |
Cheers, lads. | 0:43:48 | 0:43:51 | |
It's not bad, this stripping lark, is it? | 0:43:51 | 0:43:55 | |
MUSIC: The Stripper by David Rose | 0:43:55 | 0:43:57 | |
Dave and Lomps, up the wing. | 0:44:04 | 0:44:06 | |
One, two, three, four. | 0:44:06 | 0:44:09 | |
Left touchline, three, four. | 0:44:09 | 0:44:11 | |
Right touchline, three, four. | 0:44:11 | 0:44:14 | |
Offside trap, one, two, | 0:44:14 | 0:44:16 | |
three, four! | 0:44:16 | 0:44:18 | |
Now, the belt, three, four. | 0:44:18 | 0:44:20 | |
Now, the shoes, three, four. Now, the socks... | 0:44:20 | 0:44:23 | |
Hang on, hang on. | 0:44:23 | 0:44:25 | |
MUSIC STOPS | 0:44:27 | 0:44:29 | |
That were crap. | 0:44:29 | 0:44:31 | |
I bet even Madonna has difficulty getting her socks off. | 0:44:31 | 0:44:35 | |
You could have had my eye out. | 0:44:35 | 0:44:36 | |
What are you doing, you bugger? They're borrowed. | 0:44:36 | 0:44:40 | |
I'm using them for the show. It's what them Chippendales do. | 0:44:40 | 0:44:44 | |
They put Velcro down the side, and then, scragh! All is revealed. | 0:44:44 | 0:44:49 | |
-I'll sew them back up. -Where did you learn to be a sewer? | 0:44:49 | 0:44:51 | |
Prison. | 0:44:51 | 0:44:53 | |
Cheers, Nath. | 0:44:56 | 0:44:58 | |
Come on, Al, it's me. | 0:45:01 | 0:45:03 | |
Which is precisely why it's £100 up front - half price. | 0:45:03 | 0:45:07 | |
If I give you t'club for nowt and you don't turn up, | 0:45:07 | 0:45:11 | |
I've got an empty club on a Friday night. | 0:45:11 | 0:45:13 | |
We'll turn up. I haven't got £100. | 0:45:13 | 0:45:16 | |
If you tell me what you're up to it might help. | 0:45:18 | 0:45:21 | |
I can't. It's top secret. | 0:45:22 | 0:45:25 | |
Sorry. | 0:45:25 | 0:45:27 | |
-All right, love. -Hi, Mum. | 0:45:40 | 0:45:42 | |
What do you want? | 0:45:42 | 0:45:44 | |
All right, Mand. I'm going to get you all your money. | 0:45:44 | 0:45:48 | |
Our money. | 0:45:48 | 0:45:50 | |
< Nathan's. For definite, this time. | 0:45:50 | 0:45:52 | |
Yeah, right. Is that all? | 0:45:52 | 0:45:54 | |
Yeah. | 0:45:54 | 0:45:56 | |
Well, no. The thing is, Mand, | 0:45:56 | 0:45:59 | |
you have to speculate to accumulate. | 0:45:59 | 0:46:02 | |
I'm not sure I'm hearing this. | 0:46:02 | 0:46:04 | |
-I'll get you the lot. I just need a bit. -You want some money?! | 0:46:04 | 0:46:07 | |
Yeah. | 0:46:07 | 0:46:08 | |
Right, I need someone in t'packing section. | 0:46:08 | 0:46:11 | |
£2.50 an hour. You can start now if you like. Coming? | 0:46:11 | 0:46:15 | |
Come on, Dad. | 0:46:16 | 0:46:18 | |
Nathan, Nathan. You can't do this, kid. It's your savings. | 0:46:22 | 0:46:26 | |
I can. I need your signature. It says in t'book. | 0:46:26 | 0:46:29 | |
I want to take my money out. | 0:46:29 | 0:46:31 | |
You bloody well can't have it. You're OK. It's sorted. | 0:46:31 | 0:46:34 | |
It's my money. | 0:46:34 | 0:46:35 | |
I want it - £100, please. | 0:46:35 | 0:46:38 | |
When you're 18, you can walk in and get it yourself. | 0:46:38 | 0:46:41 | |
-You said you'd get it back. -I know! | 0:46:41 | 0:46:44 | |
You don't want to listen to what I say. | 0:46:44 | 0:46:47 | |
You said so. I believe you. | 0:46:47 | 0:46:50 | |
You do? | 0:46:50 | 0:46:52 | |
Yeah. | 0:46:52 | 0:46:54 | |
Blimey, Nath. | 0:46:56 | 0:46:58 | |
MUSIC: Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me) by Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel | 0:47:00 | 0:47:05 | |
# You've done it all | 0:47:05 | 0:47:07 | |
# You've broken every code | 0:47:08 | 0:47:10 | |
# And pulled the Rebel to the floor | 0:47:12 | 0:47:15 | |
# Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba... | 0:47:15 | 0:47:17 | |
# Ba, ba, ba, ba... | 0:47:17 | 0:47:19 | |
# You've spoilt the game No matter what you say... # | 0:47:19 | 0:47:24 | |
And one for luck. | 0:47:24 | 0:47:26 | |
# What a bore! | 0:47:26 | 0:47:31 | |
# Blue eyes, blue eyes | 0:47:31 | 0:47:35 | |
# How come you tell so many lies? | 0:47:35 | 0:47:40 | |
# Come up and see me | 0:47:41 | 0:47:43 | |
# Make me smile | 0:47:43 | 0:47:46 | |
# Or do what you want | 0:47:48 | 0:47:50 | |
# Running wild... # | 0:47:50 | 0:47:54 | |
WHISTLE | 0:47:54 | 0:47:56 | |
WHISTLE | 0:48:02 | 0:48:03 | |
What? | 0:48:03 | 0:48:05 | |
Yes! | 0:48:18 | 0:48:20 | |
BICYCLE BELL | 0:48:22 | 0:48:24 | |
# Oooh, la, la, la | 0:48:24 | 0:48:27 | |
# Oooh, la, la, la... # | 0:48:27 | 0:48:30 | |
< It's not straight, that. | 0:48:33 | 0:48:35 | |
Give over. It's only a poster. | 0:48:35 | 0:48:38 | |
Christ all-bloody-mighty. | 0:48:41 | 0:48:43 | |
-All right, sweethearts? -Gary the lad. > | 0:48:45 | 0:48:48 | |
What are you up to, shifty? | 0:48:48 | 0:48:50 | |
A bit of this. A bit of that. A bit of the other. | 0:48:50 | 0:48:54 | |
Just a bit of advertising for some mates. | 0:48:54 | 0:48:57 | |
Oh, aye. And who's going to come and see "your mates"? | 0:48:57 | 0:49:00 | |
We had the real thing here the other day. | 0:49:00 | 0:49:03 | |
Well, our mates are better. | 0:49:03 | 0:49:05 | |
Better? How's that, then? | 0:49:05 | 0:49:07 | |
Well... | 0:49:07 | 0:49:09 | |
-This lot go all the way. -Stark naked? | 0:49:11 | 0:49:13 | |
Don't they, lads? | 0:49:13 | 0:49:14 | |
The full monty? You lot? | 0:49:14 | 0:49:16 | |
-Hell fire! That would be worth a look. See you there, then. -Ta-ra. | 0:49:18 | 0:49:22 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:49:22 | 0:49:25 | |
-Keep your hair on. -No way. No and never, | 0:49:25 | 0:49:27 | |
in that order, kid. | 0:49:27 | 0:49:29 | |
Excuse me. No-one said anything to me about the full monty. | 0:49:29 | 0:49:33 | |
You heard them. We've got to give summat your average stripper don't. | 0:49:33 | 0:49:37 | |
Yeah, but... my willy. I mean to say... | 0:49:37 | 0:49:40 | |
Your willy? My willy. | 0:49:40 | 0:49:42 | |
A laughing stock, totally. | 0:49:42 | 0:49:44 | |
They're coming, aren't they? | 0:49:44 | 0:49:45 | |
With a pair of scissors. They know it's us. | 0:49:45 | 0:49:48 | |
Every bugger will know it's us whether we do it or not. | 0:49:48 | 0:49:52 | |
We can forget it, go back to t'Jobclub, | 0:49:52 | 0:49:55 | |
or do it and maybe get rich. > | 0:49:55 | 0:49:57 | |
And I tell you, folks don't laugh so loud | 0:49:57 | 0:49:59 | |
when you've a grand in your pocket. | 0:49:59 | 0:50:02 | |
Now, are you in, | 0:50:02 | 0:50:05 | |
or are you out? | 0:50:05 | 0:50:07 | |
RADIO: 'Rain is causing problems for drivers on the Pennines, | 0:50:07 | 0:50:12 | |
'with the A57 closed into the town centre. | 0:50:12 | 0:50:15 | |
'The good news is that the outlook for the rest of the week is better, | 0:50:15 | 0:50:20 | |
'with the storms clearing by Friday, | 0:50:20 | 0:50:22 | |
'to leave the weekend warm and sunny. | 0:50:22 | 0:50:25 | |
'But now back to the music. | 0:50:25 | 0:50:27 | |
'Here's a classic from the 1970s. It's Donna Summer | 0:50:27 | 0:50:31 | |
'with Hot Stuff.' | 0:50:31 | 0:50:34 | |
MUSIC: Hot Stuff by Donna Summer | 0:50:34 | 0:50:36 | |
# Sitting here eating my heart out waiting | 0:50:41 | 0:50:45 | |
# Waiting for some lover to call | 0:50:45 | 0:50:48 | |
# Dialled about a thousand numbers lately | 0:50:49 | 0:50:53 | |
# Almost rang the phone off the wall | 0:50:53 | 0:50:56 | |
# Looking for some hot stuff, baby, this evening | 0:50:56 | 0:51:00 | |
# I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight | 0:51:00 | 0:51:03 | |
# I want some hot stuff, baby, this evening | 0:51:04 | 0:51:08 | |
# Gotta have some hot stuff, gotta have some love tonight | 0:51:08 | 0:51:12 | |
# Hot stuff | 0:51:12 | 0:51:14 | |
# I need hot stuff | 0:51:15 | 0:51:17 | |
# I want some hot stuff. # | 0:51:18 | 0:51:22 | |
No. | 0:51:30 | 0:51:33 | |
Come on, mate. Just an hour. | 0:51:33 | 0:51:35 | |
MUSIC: We Are Family by Sister Sledge | 0:51:35 | 0:51:37 | |
You've got some fit birds in there. | 0:51:39 | 0:51:41 | |
No. Tits are too big. | 0:51:43 | 0:51:45 | |
Yeah? Didn't know they could be. | 0:51:45 | 0:51:48 | |
Anti-wrinkle cream? | 0:51:50 | 0:51:53 | |
Can fellas use this, and all? | 0:51:53 | 0:51:55 | |
Do you mind, you? | 0:51:55 | 0:51:58 | |
Yeah, I just pray they're a bit more understanding about us. That's all. | 0:51:58 | 0:52:03 | |
You what? | 0:52:03 | 0:52:05 | |
They'll be looking at us like that. | 0:52:05 | 0:52:08 | |
What if 400 women turn and say, he's too fat, he's too old, | 0:52:10 | 0:52:14 | |
and he's a pigeon-chested tosser? | 0:52:14 | 0:52:17 | |
-They wouldn't say that, would they? -He just said her tits are too big. | 0:52:17 | 0:52:20 | |
That's different. We're blokes. | 0:52:20 | 0:52:23 | |
Yeah, and? | 0:52:23 | 0:52:24 | |
I think she's got nice tits. | 0:52:24 | 0:52:27 | |
I never said about her personality. I bet she's nice. | 0:52:27 | 0:52:30 | |
They won't say about yours, which is good because you're a bastard. | 0:52:30 | 0:52:35 | |
Bollocks to personality. This is what they want. | 0:52:35 | 0:52:39 | |
And I tell you summat, mate. | 0:52:39 | 0:52:41 | |
Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, | 0:52:41 | 0:52:43 | |
but anti-fat-bastard cream, there is none. | 0:52:43 | 0:52:46 | |
Here, lads. | 0:52:46 | 0:52:49 | |
Oh, mother. | 0:52:54 | 0:52:56 | |
Bloody hell. | 0:52:56 | 0:52:59 | |
Gaz wanted something flashy. It's top of the range. | 0:52:59 | 0:53:02 | |
-Yeah, but... -You don't get much for your money. | 0:53:02 | 0:53:05 | |
-What day is it, again? > -Monday. | 0:53:05 | 0:53:08 | |
-And when are we on? -Friday. Dress rehearsal tomorrow. | 0:53:08 | 0:53:12 | |
I think I'm going to be sick. | 0:53:15 | 0:53:17 | |
How can I read the instructions? There wasn't any. | 0:53:23 | 0:53:27 | |
Well, maybe there's a part missing. | 0:53:27 | 0:53:30 | |
Yeah, I got that, if that's what you call it. | 0:53:30 | 0:53:33 | |
Well, if it's all there, how come it's not working? | 0:53:33 | 0:53:37 | |
What do you mean, 'in what sense'? | 0:53:39 | 0:53:41 | |
It's not working in the sense that it's not working. | 0:53:41 | 0:53:45 | |
No, I can't speak up. Nothing's happening. Nothing's getting bigger. | 0:53:45 | 0:53:51 | |
Well, this is an emergency, is this. | 0:53:51 | 0:53:53 | |
What's the matter, big man? | 0:54:42 | 0:54:44 | |
I'm sorry. | 0:54:47 | 0:54:49 | |
Dave? | 0:54:56 | 0:54:58 | |
< Dave. | 0:55:01 | 0:55:03 | |
MUSIC: Hot Stuff by Donna Summer | 0:55:05 | 0:55:07 | |
# Wanna bring a wild man back home | 0:55:08 | 0:55:10 | |
# Gotta have some hot love, baby, this evening | 0:55:10 | 0:55:14 | |
# I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight... # | 0:55:14 | 0:55:17 | |
You're ahead. | 0:55:17 | 0:55:19 | |
Give us a break, will you? | 0:55:19 | 0:55:21 | |
All right, kid. | 0:55:24 | 0:55:26 | |
Tell us straight. | 0:55:28 | 0:55:30 | |
We're not just making the biggest arses of ourselves in the known universe, are we? | 0:55:30 | 0:55:34 | |
Dave, mate? | 0:56:40 | 0:56:42 | |
Can I have a word? | 0:56:42 | 0:56:44 | |
In private, like? | 0:56:44 | 0:56:46 | |
Yeah... I suppose so. | 0:56:46 | 0:56:50 | |
You won't tell anyone, will you? | 0:56:50 | 0:56:53 | |
No, your secret's safe with me. | 0:56:53 | 0:56:56 | |
When I were about 12, | 0:56:59 | 0:57:01 | |
our school took us for swimming lessons. | 0:57:01 | 0:57:04 | |
Mixed classes. | 0:57:05 | 0:57:07 | |
You know, boys... | 0:57:07 | 0:57:09 | |
and, er... | 0:57:09 | 0:57:11 | |
and girls. | 0:57:11 | 0:57:13 | |
It were terrible, Dave. | 0:57:17 | 0:57:19 | |
I were there. I were standing at t'side of pool in my trunks, | 0:57:19 | 0:57:23 | |
with all these pretty lasses around in bikinis and, well... | 0:57:23 | 0:57:28 | |
I got, er... | 0:57:29 | 0:57:31 | |
I got a stiffy. | 0:57:37 | 0:57:39 | |
What did you do? | 0:57:39 | 0:57:41 | |
I jumped into the deep end. I nearly fucking drowned! | 0:57:41 | 0:57:45 | |
What if it happens again? Think of that, in front of 400 women. | 0:57:45 | 0:57:49 | |
Gerald. | 0:57:49 | 0:57:51 | |
You're talking to the wrong man. | 0:57:51 | 0:57:53 | |
-< I thought it were just your mum. -< It's family, isn't it? | 0:58:00 | 0:58:03 | |
What can you do? | 0:58:03 | 0:58:04 | |
Who the hell fire's that? | 0:58:04 | 0:58:06 | |
< Oh, no. | 0:58:06 | 0:58:09 | |
< It's Beryl. | 0:58:09 | 0:58:11 | |
My niece. | 0:58:11 | 0:58:14 | |
Where's Dave? | 0:58:14 | 0:58:16 | |
Here, Dave? | 0:58:21 | 0:58:23 | |
Dave! What are you doing? | 0:58:23 | 0:58:25 | |
What does it look like? | 0:58:25 | 0:58:27 | |
We're on in three days' time. Where the fuck are you? | 0:58:27 | 0:58:31 | |
I'm here - working, earning! That's where. Not pissing about. | 0:58:31 | 0:58:35 | |
End of chat. | 0:58:35 | 0:58:37 | |
Dave? | 0:58:38 | 0:58:40 | |
-Come on, Dave. -No. | 0:58:40 | 0:58:43 | |
All right, then. Ooh, very nice. | 0:58:43 | 0:58:47 | |
-Gaz, please, don't. -Come on, do your job. | 0:58:47 | 0:58:49 | |
Gazza. | 0:58:49 | 0:58:51 | |
< Horse, mate, get out there and tell them there's a bit of delay. | 0:58:51 | 0:58:54 | |
< They won't wait forever. | 0:58:54 | 0:58:56 | |
Keep up, you fat bastard. | 0:59:10 | 0:59:12 | |
Argh! | 0:59:12 | 0:59:14 | |
SECURITY ALARM | 0:59:14 | 0:59:16 | |
Don't ever call me a fat bastard, all right?! | 0:59:16 | 0:59:19 | |
All right?! | 0:59:19 | 0:59:20 | |
We need you, Dave. | 0:59:20 | 0:59:22 | |
I can't. | 0:59:24 | 0:59:26 | |
I just can't. | 0:59:29 | 0:59:31 | |
All right? | 0:59:31 | 0:59:33 | |
Listen. Think of the most boring thing you can come up with. | 0:59:33 | 0:59:38 | |
-That should keep it well in order. -Like what? | 0:59:38 | 0:59:41 | |
-Double glazing salesmen. -Gardening. The Queen's speech. | 0:59:41 | 0:59:44 | |
Dire Straits' double album. Nature programmes. | 0:59:44 | 0:59:47 | |
I like nature programmes. | 0:59:47 | 0:59:49 | |
But they don't give you a hard-on, do they? | 0:59:49 | 0:59:52 | |
Do they? | 0:59:52 | 0:59:54 | |
-Blimey! -Oh, shut up. It's not funny. It's medical. | 0:59:54 | 0:59:58 | |
He's not coming. | 1:00:03 | 1:00:05 | |
< It's all right. | 1:00:05 | 1:00:07 | |
We can do without him. | 1:00:07 | 1:00:09 | |
MUSIC: Rock And Roll Part 2 by Gary Glitter | 1:00:09 | 1:00:12 | |
# Hey! | 1:00:12 | 1:00:13 | |
# Hey! | 1:00:13 | 1:00:15 | |
# Hey! | 1:00:15 | 1:00:17 | |
# Hey! | 1:00:17 | 1:00:19 | |
# Hey! | 1:00:42 | 1:00:44 | |
# Hey! | 1:00:46 | 1:00:48 | |
# Hey! | 1:00:49 | 1:00:51 | |
# Hey! # | 1:00:52 | 1:00:54 | |
MUSIC OFF | 1:01:39 | 1:01:41 | |
So your daddy dances in front of you, does he? | 1:01:48 | 1:01:50 | |
When he's rehearsing. | 1:01:50 | 1:01:52 | |
We were dancing all right, and all. | 1:01:58 | 1:02:01 | |
My feet are freezing. | 1:02:01 | 1:02:03 | |
Right. Name? | 1:02:03 | 1:02:05 | |
Gary Schofield. | 1:02:05 | 1:02:07 | |
-(Gerald Arthur Cooper.) -What? | 1:02:11 | 1:02:14 | |
Gerald Arthur Cooper. | 1:02:14 | 1:02:16 | |
-Barrington Mitchell. -Barrington? | 1:02:19 | 1:02:22 | |
-Yeah. -Is that one R? | 1:02:22 | 1:02:24 | |
Two. | 1:02:24 | 1:02:25 | |
I told you. Robbing pipes, that's all. | 1:02:46 | 1:02:49 | |
Gary, my friend, no bugger robs pipes in the buff. | 1:02:49 | 1:02:53 | |
We do. | 1:02:53 | 1:02:55 | |
You don't get your clothes dirty, do you? | 1:02:55 | 1:02:57 | |
Oh, well, don't fret, gents. | 1:02:57 | 1:02:59 | |
There's a good laundry in Wakefield Prison. | 1:02:59 | 1:03:02 | |
-Eh? -KNOCK AT DOOR | 1:03:02 | 1:03:05 | |
Security camera tapes off the front desk. | 1:03:06 | 1:03:08 | |
What happened to the security guard? | 1:03:08 | 1:03:11 | |
LAUGHTER | 1:03:17 | 1:03:19 | |
You're always ahead there. | 1:03:22 | 1:03:24 | |
You're always bloody behind, more like. | 1:03:24 | 1:03:27 | |
Can I borrow this for a second? | 1:03:27 | 1:03:29 | |
CHATTER AND LAUGHTER | 1:03:29 | 1:03:31 | |
Look, shut up, will you?! | 1:03:31 | 1:03:34 | |
< Watch. | 1:03:34 | 1:03:36 | |
< He's right. | 1:03:37 | 1:03:39 | |
-You're ahead. -Ah, go bollocks. | 1:03:39 | 1:03:42 | |
BANGING AND CLATTERING | 1:04:01 | 1:04:03 | |
Shush. Be quiet. | 1:04:03 | 1:04:04 | |
I've always wanted to meet your mam. | 1:04:04 | 1:04:07 | |
What do you mean, I can't bloody see him? He's my son. | 1:04:17 | 1:04:20 | |
I haven't even been charged. Ask Smiler in there. No charge! | 1:04:20 | 1:04:23 | |
Sorry. Social services have requested an interview with you. | 1:04:23 | 1:04:26 | |
You'll have to make an appointment. | 1:04:26 | 1:04:29 | |
-I've come to pick up my son. -Oh, right. | 1:04:33 | 1:04:36 | |
Just a minute, ma'am. | 1:04:36 | 1:04:38 | |
It's fine. We've not been charged. | 1:04:38 | 1:04:40 | |
So this is your money-making scheme? Pornography? | 1:04:40 | 1:04:44 | |
Don't be daft. We're trying to get you your money. | 1:04:44 | 1:04:46 | |
My money?! Nathan's money. | 1:04:46 | 1:04:49 | |
< All right, Dad. | 1:04:49 | 1:04:51 | |
-All right, kid? > -Yeah, fine. Hi, Mum. | 1:04:51 | 1:04:53 | |
Come on, love. We're going now. | 1:04:53 | 1:04:56 | |
Come on, Mand. | 1:04:56 | 1:04:58 | |
Unemployed. Maintenance arrears of £700, | 1:04:58 | 1:05:01 | |
arrested for indecent exposure. Think you're a suitable father? | 1:05:01 | 1:05:05 | |
-He is trying. -See? | 1:05:05 | 1:05:07 | |
-A bit late for that. -Hang on a minute! | 1:05:07 | 1:05:10 | |
Look at yourself, Gary. Just look at yourself. | 1:05:10 | 1:05:13 | |
All right, mate? | 1:05:49 | 1:05:52 | |
So? | 1:05:52 | 1:05:54 | |
This has been going on how long? | 1:05:55 | 1:05:57 | |
Er... | 1:05:57 | 1:05:59 | |
About six months. | 1:06:01 | 1:06:03 | |
I can cope with losing the sun bed... | 1:06:09 | 1:06:11 | |
..the car, the television. | 1:06:12 | 1:06:15 | |
I can even cope with the shame of everyone watching this. | 1:06:15 | 1:06:19 | |
But six months! Six bloody months! | 1:06:19 | 1:06:22 | |
And you wouldn't say, to me! > | 1:06:22 | 1:06:24 | |
To your wife. | 1:06:25 | 1:06:27 | |
I thought you liked them. | 1:06:31 | 1:06:33 | |
No, Gerald. I've never liked them. | 1:06:33 | 1:06:36 | |
KNOCK AT DOOR | 1:06:48 | 1:06:50 | |
They've taken my sun bed. They've taken bloody everything. | 1:07:00 | 1:07:04 | |
-You've kept hold of your chips, though. -House repossessed. | 1:07:04 | 1:07:07 | |
Wife thrown me out. | 1:07:07 | 1:07:09 | |
Guess what? | 1:07:09 | 1:07:11 | |
I've just been offered that job. | 1:07:11 | 1:07:13 | |
Congratulations. | 1:07:13 | 1:07:15 | |
All right, kid? | 1:07:22 | 1:07:24 | |
-Hiya. -Fancy a kickabout? | 1:07:24 | 1:07:26 | |
Yeah. > | 1:07:26 | 1:07:28 | |
Nath... Hiya. All right, love? You shouldn't be here. | 1:07:30 | 1:07:34 | |
Says who? | 1:07:34 | 1:07:36 | |
Read the lawyer's letter, why don't you? | 1:07:36 | 1:07:39 | |
We're going swimming, Dad. Do you want to come? | 1:07:39 | 1:07:43 | |
I can't, kid. I haven't got my trunks, have I? | 1:07:45 | 1:07:49 | |
We can go get them. Can't we, Mum? | 1:07:49 | 1:07:51 | |
-< I can't, love. -Why? | 1:07:51 | 1:07:54 | |
I just... | 1:07:54 | 1:07:56 | |
I just can't. Sorry. | 1:07:59 | 1:08:01 | |
He's not allowed, is he? | 1:08:01 | 1:08:03 | |
Come on, love. | 1:08:08 | 1:08:10 | |
(Dave!) | 1:08:46 | 1:08:48 | |
(Oi, you deaf twat!) | 1:08:48 | 1:08:50 | |
What do you want now? I've told you, I'm finished with you. | 1:08:50 | 1:08:53 | |
We're all finished, Dave. | 1:08:53 | 1:08:55 | |
I'm a bloody marked man, now. | 1:08:55 | 1:08:57 | |
Sorry about your Nathan. It's a bad one, that. | 1:08:59 | 1:09:03 | |
It's about Lomper. | 1:09:05 | 1:09:07 | |
What does that pasty-faced chuffer want? | 1:09:07 | 1:09:09 | |
His mum died two days ago. | 1:09:09 | 1:09:11 | |
Ah. | 1:09:11 | 1:09:14 | |
Poor lad. I'm sorry. | 1:09:14 | 1:09:16 | |
-Could you borrow us a jacket for the funeral? -Gaz. | 1:09:16 | 1:09:19 | |
Come on, Dave. It's not for me. It's a funeral. | 1:09:19 | 1:09:23 | |
What colour? | 1:09:25 | 1:09:28 | |
Orange. | 1:09:28 | 1:09:30 | |
Orange? | 1:09:30 | 1:09:32 | |
Black, for fuck's sake. | 1:09:32 | 1:09:34 | |
OK. Look, I'll meet you by t'doors. | 1:09:34 | 1:09:36 | |
Nice one. | 1:09:46 | 1:09:48 | |
-Come on, then. -Have you got some time off? | 1:09:48 | 1:09:51 | |
Nah, that fucking pick and mix were driving me crazy. | 1:09:51 | 1:09:55 | |
Besides, it's a funeral. Are you ready? | 1:09:55 | 1:09:58 | |
Ready when you are. | 1:09:58 | 1:10:00 | |
THEY YELL | 1:10:02 | 1:10:04 | |
MUSIC: Abide With Me | 1:10:06 | 1:10:08 | |
BRASS BAND STARTS PLAYING | 1:10:20 | 1:10:22 | |
< They bloody are, you know. | 1:11:07 | 1:11:09 | |
They're holding hands. | 1:11:09 | 1:11:11 | |
-They're never. -Straight up. | 1:11:11 | 1:11:14 | |
I never even hold hands with ruddy lasses, me. Maybe I should. | 1:11:14 | 1:11:18 | |
Ah! Who'd have bloody thought it, eh? | 1:11:21 | 1:11:23 | |
Ah, well. There's nowt as queer as folk. | 1:11:25 | 1:11:28 | |
There's nowt as queer as folk. | 1:11:31 | 1:11:34 | |
Shut up, Dave. It's supposed to be a bloody funeral. | 1:11:34 | 1:11:37 | |
I'm sorry. | 1:11:37 | 1:11:39 | |
Eh, look. It's that guy. | 1:11:48 | 1:11:50 | |
Show us your pecs! | 1:11:50 | 1:11:52 | |
WOLF WHISTLES | 1:11:52 | 1:11:54 | |
They were together in the paper, weren't they? | 1:11:54 | 1:11:57 | |
Have you been actively seeking work? | 1:12:03 | 1:12:05 | |
Yeah. | 1:12:05 | 1:12:07 | |
Have you done any work? Paid or unpaid in the last fortnight? | 1:12:07 | 1:12:10 | |
No. | 1:12:10 | 1:12:12 | |
That's not what I've heard. | 1:12:14 | 1:12:16 | |
Right, come on, you lot. | 1:13:02 | 1:13:04 | |
Slaidburn. | 1:13:08 | 1:13:10 | |
One, two, three, four. | 1:13:13 | 1:13:15 | |
MUSIC: The Stripper | 1:13:19 | 1:13:21 | |
BOTH HUM THE STRIPPER | 1:13:52 | 1:13:54 | |
Go get shagged. | 1:13:54 | 1:13:55 | |
Get your knickers... | 1:13:55 | 1:13:57 | |
HORN BEEPS | 1:13:59 | 1:14:01 | |
Oh, fuck. | 1:14:01 | 1:14:03 | |
Hey, Patricia the stripper! | 1:14:03 | 1:14:06 | |
Bugger off. | 1:14:06 | 1:14:07 | |
< Where have you bloody been? | 1:14:07 | 1:14:09 | |
What's going on? I've had to buy in 20 barrels. I've heard not a word. | 1:14:09 | 1:14:13 | |
I hope they're sale or return. | 1:14:13 | 1:14:15 | |
You're joking. You're bloody famous. | 1:14:15 | 1:14:18 | |
Yeah, don't remind me. | 1:14:18 | 1:14:19 | |
Yeah, I've sold 200-odd tickets. | 1:14:19 | 1:14:22 | |
How many? | 1:14:22 | 1:14:24 | |
-Well done, Gerald. All the best. -All right. | 1:14:24 | 1:14:27 | |
An example for you there. > | 1:14:27 | 1:14:29 | |
Nice suit, Gerald. | 1:14:31 | 1:14:33 | |
Yeah. | 1:14:33 | 1:14:35 | |
< I'll be off. You never know, | 1:14:35 | 1:14:38 | |
there might be a job in it for you, boys. I'll see what I can do. | 1:14:38 | 1:14:41 | |
GAZ: All right, lads? > | 1:14:41 | 1:14:43 | |
We're on. | 1:14:43 | 1:14:46 | |
-We're bloody on. -What? | 1:14:46 | 1:14:49 | |
We've sold 200 tickets. That's two grand already. | 1:14:49 | 1:14:52 | |
It's a bit late for all that, Gaz. I mean, fresh start, you know? | 1:14:52 | 1:14:57 | |
One more time, Gerald. | 1:14:57 | 1:14:59 | |
You've got the rest of your fucking life to wear a suit, man. | 1:14:59 | 1:15:02 | |
Go on. Go on, Gerald. | 1:15:04 | 1:15:06 | |
Just once. | 1:15:08 | 1:15:10 | |
-< Yes! -That's all. | 1:15:10 | 1:15:12 | |
Just tonight. | 1:15:12 | 1:15:15 | |
How about it, Dave? | 1:15:15 | 1:15:18 | |
Haven't you grown out of all that yet? | 1:15:18 | 1:15:21 | |
Come on, mate. | 1:15:21 | 1:15:23 | |
Nah. Sorry, lads. | 1:15:24 | 1:15:26 | |
Jean? | 1:15:35 | 1:15:37 | |
Jean, love?! | 1:15:39 | 1:15:41 | |
There you are. | 1:15:47 | 1:15:49 | |
I should've guessed when you started wearing totty lotion. | 1:15:54 | 1:15:58 | |
You never put it on for me. | 1:15:58 | 1:16:00 | |
Jean? | 1:16:00 | 1:16:02 | |
But this. | 1:16:02 | 1:16:04 | |
I never had you down for this sort of caper, David. | 1:16:04 | 1:16:07 | |
It explains a few things at least. | 1:16:07 | 1:16:09 | |
No, look. | 1:16:09 | 1:16:11 | |
I know it don't look good. | 1:16:11 | 1:16:13 | |
You're bloody right it don't. | 1:16:13 | 1:16:16 | |
All those nights you were late back, | 1:16:16 | 1:16:18 | |
and stupid cow here thought you were out looking for a job. | 1:16:18 | 1:16:23 | |
Well, no wonder. | 1:16:23 | 1:16:25 | |
No bloody wonder. It's so obvious. > | 1:16:25 | 1:16:29 | |
No. I were with Gaz, honest. | 1:16:29 | 1:16:31 | |
Right! She's one of Gaz's little tarts, is she? | 1:16:31 | 1:16:35 | |
Well, that makes sense. | 1:16:35 | 1:16:37 | |
She'd have to be to put up with this kind of shit! | 1:16:37 | 1:16:40 | |
Just listen, will you?! | 1:16:42 | 1:16:44 | |
It's nowt to do with any fucking women, all right! | 1:16:44 | 1:16:47 | |
I'm... I were a stripper, right? | 1:16:49 | 1:16:53 | |
Me and Gaz, and some fellas, | 1:16:53 | 1:16:56 | |
thought we could make a bob or two taking our clothes off. | 1:16:56 | 1:17:00 | |
Strippers?! | 1:17:00 | 1:17:03 | |
All right. All right. I know. | 1:17:03 | 1:17:05 | |
You? | 1:17:05 | 1:17:07 | |
And Gaz? Strippers? | 1:17:07 | 1:17:10 | |
We weren't that bad. | 1:17:10 | 1:17:12 | |
Only I couldn't, could I? | 1:17:14 | 1:17:16 | |
Why not? | 1:17:16 | 1:17:18 | |
Well, look at me. | 1:17:19 | 1:17:21 | |
So? | 1:17:22 | 1:17:24 | |
Jeanie, who wants to see this dance? | 1:17:26 | 1:17:29 | |
Me, Dave. | 1:17:32 | 1:17:34 | |
I do. | 1:17:34 | 1:17:37 | |
Women only, you tosser. > | 1:17:59 | 1:18:01 | |
Women only. It's on all the posters, for fuck's sake. | 1:18:01 | 1:18:05 | |
Ah, nobody told me. | 1:18:05 | 1:18:07 | |
All the blokes from t'pub are in there. | 1:18:07 | 1:18:09 | |
Bastards! | 1:18:09 | 1:18:11 | |
You'll be all right, mate, once you're on stage. | 1:18:11 | 1:18:14 | |
Once I'm on stage? What do you mean? | 1:18:14 | 1:18:17 | |
I'm go nowhere near the fucking stage. It's suicide. Suicide! | 1:18:17 | 1:18:21 | |
Ha, ha. | 1:18:21 | 1:18:23 | |
-CROWD: -# Come on, come on... # | 1:18:29 | 1:18:31 | |
Shit! We'll give the money back. Announce it, please. | 1:18:35 | 1:18:39 | |
To 400 horny punters? Ask me another one, kid. | 1:18:39 | 1:18:43 | |
By heck, our old dinner lady's on t'front row. | 1:18:43 | 1:18:47 | |
We'll get torn to pieces. | 1:18:47 | 1:18:48 | |
You will if you don't get out there. | 1:18:48 | 1:18:51 | |
Ever seen a zebra brought down by a pack of wolves? | 1:18:51 | 1:18:53 | |
Marvellous, these nature films. Marvellous. | 1:18:53 | 1:18:55 | |
-Brilliant, aren't they? -They are, though, aren't they? | 1:18:55 | 1:18:58 | |
Oh, pack it in. | 1:18:58 | 1:19:00 | |
Not lost your bottle, have you, Gaz? | 1:19:00 | 1:19:02 | |
-ALL: -Dave! | 1:19:02 | 1:19:04 | |
There were nowt on telly, so I thought I'd give it a go. | 1:19:04 | 1:19:07 | |
-I found this one wandering about outside. -They wouldn't let me in. | 1:19:07 | 1:19:10 | |
What the bloody hell are you doing here? Your mum'll go mad. | 1:19:10 | 1:19:12 | |
She's out t'front. | 1:19:12 | 1:19:14 | |
Is she? | 1:19:14 | 1:19:16 | |
Is Barry with her? | 1:19:16 | 1:19:18 | |
She wouldn't let him come. Said it were women only. | 1:19:18 | 1:19:20 | |
I can't hold them any longer. It's now or never! | 1:19:20 | 1:19:23 | |
< Here we go. | 1:19:23 | 1:19:25 | |
We're bloody on. | 1:19:25 | 1:19:27 | |
Go and get your jacket on. | 1:19:27 | 1:19:29 | |
Can't we leave our G-strings on, Gaz? | 1:19:30 | 1:19:33 | |
Perhaps you'd better had. | 1:19:33 | 1:19:35 | |
No, we'd better hadn't. | 1:19:35 | 1:19:38 | |
Listen. If we're doing this, then just this once we're doing it right. | 1:19:38 | 1:19:43 | |
Now, come on. | 1:19:43 | 1:19:45 | |
'Right. Come on, put your hands together | 1:19:45 | 1:19:48 | |
'and welcome Mr Dave...' | 1:19:48 | 1:19:50 | |
CHEERING | 1:19:50 | 1:19:53 | |
SCREAMING AND CHEERING | 1:19:53 | 1:19:55 | |
OK, ladies and gents, and you buggers up the back there. | 1:20:00 | 1:20:03 | |
Get away! | 1:20:04 | 1:20:05 | |
All right, we may not be young or pretty, | 1:20:05 | 1:20:08 | |
and we may not be right good. | 1:20:08 | 1:20:10 | |
< But we're here. | 1:20:10 | 1:20:12 | |
We're live. And, for one night only, we're going for the full monty. | 1:20:12 | 1:20:18 | |
You can't miss it. Not after everything. | 1:20:18 | 1:20:21 | |
-< -GERALD: -Come on, Gaz. Hurry up! | 1:20:21 | 1:20:23 | |
I'm sorry, lads. | 1:20:23 | 1:20:25 | |
Good luck. | 1:20:27 | 1:20:29 | |
MUSIC: You Can Leave Your Hat On by Tom Jones | 1:20:34 | 1:20:36 | |
# Baby, take off your coat... | 1:20:56 | 1:20:59 | |
Listen. I'm going to get really annoyed with you in a minute. | 1:20:59 | 1:21:02 | |
They're cheering out there. You did that. | 1:21:02 | 1:21:04 | |
Now, get out there and do your stuff. | 1:21:04 | 1:21:06 | |
God! Is there anyone I don't get bollocked by? | 1:21:06 | 1:21:09 | |
Out! | 1:21:09 | 1:21:11 | |
# Baby, take off your dress | 1:21:17 | 1:21:19 | |
# Yes, yes, yes! | 1:21:22 | 1:21:25 | |
# You can leave your hat on | 1:21:27 | 1:21:30 | |
# You can leave your hat on | 1:21:32 | 1:21:35 | |
# You can leave your hat on | 1:21:36 | 1:21:39 | |
# Go over there | 1:21:44 | 1:21:46 | |
# Turn on the light | 1:21:46 | 1:21:48 | |
# No | 1:21:49 | 1:21:50 | |
# All the lights | 1:21:50 | 1:21:52 | |
# Come back here | 1:21:54 | 1:21:57 | |
# Stand on that chair | 1:21:57 | 1:21:59 | |
# Ooh, baby, that's right | 1:22:00 | 1:22:02 | |
# Raise your arms in the air | 1:22:05 | 1:22:09 | |
CHEERING | 1:22:09 | 1:22:11 | |
# Now, shake them... | 1:22:11 | 1:22:13 | |
Yes! Go on, Dave! | 1:22:13 | 1:22:16 | |
# You give me reason to live | 1:22:16 | 1:22:19 | |
# You give me reason to live | 1:22:19 | 1:22:21 | |
# You give me reason to live | 1:22:21 | 1:22:24 | |
# You give me reason to live | 1:22:24 | 1:22:26 | |
# Lesson number one, I'll say | 1:22:34 | 1:22:36 | |
# You can leave your hat on, baby | 1:22:39 | 1:22:42 | |
CHEERING | 1:22:43 | 1:22:45 | |
# Ooooh! | 1:22:53 | 1:22:55 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Off! Off! Off... | 1:22:59 | 1:23:01 | |
# Tell me, baby | 1:23:02 | 1:23:04 | |
# Tell me, baby | 1:23:06 | 1:23:08 | |
# Gotta hear it again | 1:23:13 | 1:23:15 | |
# Ahhh! | 1:23:15 | 1:23:17 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Off! Off! Off... | 1:23:25 | 1:23:27 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Yeah! | 1:23:27 | 1:23:29 | |
# You can leave your hat on | 1:23:29 | 1:23:37 | |
# Yeah | 1:23:37 | 1:23:39 | |
# Leave your hat on, baby. # | 1:23:39 | 1:23:41 | |
MUSIC: You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate | 1:23:43 | 1:23:46 | |
# I believe in miracles | 1:24:00 | 1:24:02 | |
# Where you from | 1:24:04 | 1:24:06 | |
# You sexy thing, sexy thing, you? | 1:24:06 | 1:24:09 | |
# I believe in miracles | 1:24:09 | 1:24:11 | |
# Since you came along | 1:24:13 | 1:24:15 | |
# You sexy thing | 1:24:15 | 1:24:17 | |
# Where did you come from, baby? | 1:24:27 | 1:24:29 | |
# How did you know I needed you? | 1:24:31 | 1:24:34 | |
# How did you know I needed you so badly? | 1:24:35 | 1:24:40 | |
# How did you know I'd give my heart gladly? | 1:24:40 | 1:24:44 | |
# Yesterday, I was one of the lonely people | 1:24:44 | 1:24:48 | |
# Now you're lying close to me, making love to me | 1:24:48 | 1:24:53 | |
# I believe in miracles | 1:24:53 | 1:24:55 | |
# Where you from | 1:24:56 | 1:24:58 | |
# You sexy thing, sexy thing, you? | 1:24:58 | 1:25:01 | |
# I believe in miracles | 1:25:01 | 1:25:03 | |
# Since you came along | 1:25:05 | 1:25:07 | |
# You sexy thing | 1:25:07 | 1:25:10 | |
# Touch me | 1:25:10 | 1:25:12 | |
# Kiss me, darlin' | 1:25:14 | 1:25:16 | |
# I love the way you hold me, baby | 1:25:18 | 1:25:20 | |
# Ah, ah! | 1:25:21 | 1:25:23 | |
# It's ecstasy | 1:25:23 | 1:25:25 | |
# Ahhh! You sexy thing | 1:25:25 | 1:25:28 | |
# You sexy thing, you... # | 1:25:28 | 1:25:30 |