Three Coins in the Fountain

MAN: # Three coins in the fountain

# Each one seeking happiness

# Thrown by three hopeful lovers

# Which one will the fountain bless?

# Three hearts in the fountain

# Each heart longing for its home

# There they lie in the fountain

# Somewhere in the heart of Rome

# Which one will the fountain bless?

# Which one will the fountain bless?

# Three coins in the fountain

# Through the ripples, how they shine

# Just one wish will be granted

# One heart will wear a valentine

# Make it mine, make it mine

# Make it mine! #

MAN SPEAKING ITALIAN ON PA SYSTEM

MAN SPEAKING ITALIAN CONTINUES

Pardon me. Are you Maria Williams?

-Yes, I am.

-Oh, I'm Anita Hutchins.

-Hi.

-Hi. Mr Burgoyne sent me down to meet you.

I'm with the agency. Here, let me take your bag.

Thank you.

We're over here. Come on.

-This is your apartment?

-You like it?

I'm awed!

Secretaries live very well in Rome. You'll get spoiled after a while. Frances!

Yes? I'm having breakfast on the balcony. Come on out.

-Welcome to Rome.

-Thank you.

-Did you have any trouble finding her?

-I picked her out first try.

-Have you had any breakfast?

-I can't remember.

Then have some with us. Anna!

Oh, my, oh, my!

Oh, what a beautiful way to live.

I'm glad you like it. When Anita leaves, I was going to suggest...

-ANITA:

-I've already told her.

-Anna. This is Miss Williams.

Buon giorno, signorina.

-SHE SPEAKS IN ITALIAN

-How do you do?

SPEAKING ITALIAN

What would you like?

-Oh, anything, thank you.

-SPEAKING ITALIAN

Va bene, signorina.

I don't think I could afford anything as elegant as this, or even half of it.

I promise you can. You're paid at the agency in dollars.

The rate of exchange is in your favour.

-Are you with the agency too?

-No, I'm John Frederick Shadwell's secretary.

-The man who wrote Winter Harvest?

-Mm-hmm.

-No less.

-Mmm. He's a great writer, isn't he?

He's a great man.

I thought he was dead.

Most people do, because he hasn't been back to America since his early 20s.

Frances has been with him for 15 years.

Gosh. Oh, when do I meet my boss?

After breakfast. We'll all drive to work together.

You'll meet him in plenty of time. There's nothing rushed in Rome.

Oh, I'm going to like Rome, at any rate of exchange.

-What's that?

-That's the Fountain of Trevi.

-ANITA:

-Do you want to see it?

If you throw a coin into the pool, you're supposed to get your wish.

Only the wish must always be the same thing - that you'll return again to Rome.

I've tossed a coin into the fountain every April for the last...15 years.

It's my spring ritual. It's time to throw one in again.

-Don't you want to wish?

-Oh, yes.

Keep me in Rome at least a year, Mr Fountain.

No! No, no. You have to turn around and throw it over your shoulder.

-Oh.

-SPLASHES

Bring me...another year of contentment...

whatever gods are listening.

A penny's worth of hope.

Aren't you going to wish?

No. I don't want to come back to Rome.

Anita's going home to be married.

Then I don't blame you. Don't tempt fate.

-Good morning, Eleanor.

-Good morning, Anita.

This is my desk. You'll share it with me for the time being.

Oh, when do I meet Mr Burgoyne?

-I'll see if he's in.

-ON INTERCOM: 'Yes?'

Good morning, Mr Burgoyne. Miss Williams is here. Shall I bring her in?

'Not at all. I'll come out.'

-Boss loves to make a good impression.

-Any particular instructions?

No. Just be yourself.

Well, well, well, Miss Williams.

Welcome to USDA.

I abbreviate the name of the agency. It's the age of the alphabet.

-Oh, I see. Thank you.

-We hope you like Rome and the agency.

-Thank you. I'm sure I will.

-Good, good, good.

I thought I'd spend the morning showing Maria how we operate here.

Fine, fine, fine. Oh!

Mrs Burgoyne is giving a cocktail party this afternoon.

Anita, if you and Miss Williams are not otherwise occupied...

..Mrs Burgoyne would like to meet Miss Williams.

-Thank you. I'd love to meet Mrs Burgoyne.

-We'll expect you, then.

-Buon giorno.

-MAN: Buon giorno, signorina.

Oh. Good morning.

I didn't think you'd be up.

-I've been up all night.

-I must say, you look it.

You might show a little consideration for a man who's just written 20,000 words.

You've started it.

I got home at midnight intoxicated with an idea.

I worked myself into a creative hangover.

-Let me fix you some coffee.

-No. No, thanks.

While you type these up, I'm going to fall into bed.

I'm glad you've given up writing articles...

..and started back to work on a novel again.

-I was afraid you were afraid.

-What do you mean by that?

Nothing. I was worried for fear the critics had intimidated you after that last one.

-I should have known better.

-Of course you should have.

I write for myself, not the critics.

You'll be pleased to know the old master is back in stride again.

I'm rather anxious to hear what you think about the start.

Not only do I consider it magnificent

but I have a sneaking suspicion it's pretty good.

Get some sleep.

I'll knock on your door in time for you to make it to the Burgoyne cocktail party.

Not I.

I have no intention of exposing myself to that dreary assemblage.

When I get up, I'm gonna stroll through the gardens of the villa

in solitary contentment.

But I've already accepted the invitation in your name.

Then jolly well make an excuse in my name.

Do you know what people say when I mention I work for you?

CHUCKLING Something envious, I presume.

-They say, "Oh, I thought he was dead."

-Do they, indeed?

You can't be as antisocial as you are and still expect people to know you're alive.

-So they think that I'm dead, do they?

-Hmm.

Well, well. CHUCKLES

Wake me at 4:00.

I'll make an appearance to prove my public only half right.

When these come in from Washington, they have to be translated into Italian.

-By me?

-Oh, no. We have interpreters here.

Georgio, would you come in for a minute, please?

Georgio handles our translations for us.

Then they're given to Mr Burgoyne for clearance with the Italian bureau.

-Good morning, Miss Anita.

-Oh. Good morning.

Maria, this is Georgio Bianchi. Georgio, this is Maria Williams.

She'll be taking my place when I leave.

If I can be of any help, please call me.

I heard you were returning to America, Miss Anita.

I shall... We shall miss you.

Oh. Thank you.

Here, would you make a translation of these for Mr Burgoyne, please?

Yes, Miss Anita.

Well!

I forgot to tell you. There's a policy here.

Secretaries are not allowed to go out with local employees.

-Mr Burgoyne's policy, if you please.

-How do you manage it, then?

Georgio? We've never exchanged more than two words.

-He's just part of the office.

-Oh.

Does his hand always shake when he gets near to you?

You're imagining things. He doesn't even know I exist.

Oh! He doesn't know anyone else exists.

He didn't even notice whether I was a blonde or a brunette.

Well, you're wrong.

-Call him in.

-GASPS

Well, I just want to look at those beautiful brown eyes again.

-They're not brown, they're blue.

-Oh.

I mean... It's a good thing I'm going home.

With you around here, I'd be in a puddle of trouble in no time.

Here, sit down and open those for me.

ORCHESTRA PLAYS

Mr Shadwell, I don't care what the critics said.

I want you to know I just adored your last novel.

Unfortunately, there were not enough of you.

Tell me... do you get your best ideas at night? I always do.

Invariably, but hardly material to write about.

My husband declares that I was simply born to be a writer.

He says if anyone just took a pencil and followed me around, they'd have a novel.

My dear lady, I should be delighted to get behind you with a pencil.

Excuse me.

-ANITA:

-We've learned from long experience this is the best way to pass the time.

So this is Rome, where the pigeons eat caviar.

And the secretaries eat alone.

Look, did you ever see such a handsome car?

-You ever see such a handsome man?

-It's Prince Dessi.

A prince? Do you know him?

-He's a friend of Mr Shadwell's.

-Part of the Roman scene.

Um, eligible?

Dino is handsome, wealthy, and has one of the oldest titles in Europe.

As long as he has the first two, you won't catch him getting married.

Oh, what a shame. Oh!

-What's the matter?

-Oh, I knocked my purse off the railing.

-I'll ask Dino to get it for you.

-Oh, no. Please don't.

-He'll think I did it on purpose.

-He won't mind. Dino!

-Yes?

-We dropped a purse from the balcony.

-Would you mind bringing it up?

-With the greatest of pleasure.

You sure you didn't knock it off on purpose?

Oh, no, believe me, I didn't. I'm not that quick-witted.

Well, just in case it was instinct

perhaps we'd better warn our friend about Dino before she meets him.

He's known as "the predatory prince."

And girls who are seen in his company more than once are known as Venice Girls.

Why?

The time comes when he asks you to fly to Venice with him.

Once you're known as a Venice Girl, you might as well go home.

-I hope nothing was broken.

-Thank you. It belongs to my friend.

Maria, this is Prince Dessi. This is Miss Williams.

-How do you do?

-How do you do?

Fresh from the States. Of course, you know Anita.

-Oh, yes. We met when I first came to Rome.

-I remember it with sadness.

People said bad things about me, and you would not permit me to show you Rome.

Have they been telling you disgraceful things about me too?

-Oh, no.

-That's too bad.

If only half the things said about me were true, I'd be a happy man.

-I suspect half of them are.

-You see?

There is a conspiracy against me in Rome. You must excuse me.

I haven't spoken to my host yet. I'll be back.

He's nice.

Oh, I don't believe he's the wolf you say.

-Why, he looks as innocent as a little boy.

-Oh, that he does.

But don't try taking him on your lap to mother him.

You'll find yourself suddenly screaming for the police.

Well, so much for your first cocktail party in Rome.

-Shall we walk home or ride?

-Let's walk.

Do you know something strange?

Except for that handsome prince...

..not one attractive man came near us at the party.

Well, I guess now is as good a time as any to disillusion you.

If you're romantic, Rome is not the city for you.

Why not?

Well, wealthy Italians don't waste their time on secretaries

and the Italians that work at the agency are too poor.

Oh. No wonder you're going home to be married.

I'm not even engaged. I gave that as an excuse at the agency for leaving.

But at least I'm going back to a country where I hope some nice guy will ask me.

That's why I didn't throw a coin in the Fountain of Trevi.

Oh, dear. It looks as though I've wasted a perfectly good penny.

Well, which way? This way looks sort of interesting.

-You want to try it?

-It doesn't look very respectable.

Good. Let's have a look.

WHISTLING CHATTERING

WOLF WHISTLE

-Anita, somebody pinched me.

-Don't look back.

It's considered an encouragement. Pretend you didn't notice.

Are you kidding? I'll kick him in his antipasto.

-Oh, let's go.

-SPEAKING ITALIAN

BELL DINGING

-Georgio!

-Oh. Miss Anita.

We've been waiting for you. I thought you said 7:00. What detained you?

SPEAKS ITALIAN

I've been showing Maria the city, and he followed us.

You shouldn't be in this section unescorted, Miss Anita.

Things can happen that American girls don't understand.

We understand, all right. A pinch is a pinch in any man's language.

As long as you are here and I am here, Miss Anita...

..would you allow me to show you my Rome?

-We'd love to.

-Well, sure.

Bene. SPEAKING ITALIAN

It's strange.

We have seen each other every day for two years...

..and yet this is the first time I have ever really talked to you.

I always thought you didn't like Americans.

-Oh, no. I thought you didn't like Italians.

-Isn't that silly?

What's that monastery?

GEORGIO: Oh, no, it's not a monastery. It's a palazzo.

-A palazzo? That's a palace, isn't it?

-Mm-hmm.

-Who owns it?

-It's the home of the prince, Dino Dessi.

Oh. Well, you two just drink your wine.

I'm gonna sit here and look at the palazzo.

-Does he live there all alone?

-Oh, no.

-Oh.

-He lives with his mother, the principessa.

Oh, how sweet.

But he must get lonely. What does he do for amusement?

Oh, he has diversions. He plays the piccolo.

-He plays what?

-The piccolo.

He's an excellent piccolo player.

My cousin is his teacher. LAUGHS

That does it. I think I'll have some wine with you after all.

Good! This is the wine that we drink on our festa.

Have you ever been to an Italian festa, Miss Anita?

No, I don't think so.

We are having one at our farm tomorrow...

..to celebrate my sister's engagement.

You shouldn't go back to America without seeing an Italian festa.

Uh, if you would like to come too, Miss Williams...

No, thank you. I have to stay and write some letters.

My family expect a report from me, and I can't disappoint them.

-Why don't you go, Anita?

-I'd love to, but I don't think I could.

I know. It's against the agency rules. Oh, but it's only this once.

You're not gonna let some silly old rule stand in your way.

Well, it isn't that. I have packing to do.

My cousin has a truck. He is driving in to pick up our relatives in Rome.

We could ride in the truck, if you didn't mind.

Oh, all right, Georgio. I'll be darned if I'll spend my last weekend in Rome alone.

CHUCKLING

SHOUTING IN ITALIAN

SHOUTING CONTINUES, LAUGHING

Georgio, you're not giving it wine?

Oh, no, no, Miss Anita. Water.

I am sorry to be late, but unfortunately, a wheel came off.

Andiamo. CHUCKLING

-This is my cousin, Enrico.

-How do you do?

SPEAKING ITALIAN

-ALL LAUGHING

-What?

-These are all your cousins?

-Oh, yeah. Cousins, brothers, nieces.

I will introduce you later.

-ALL:

-Andiamo!

SHOUTING IN ITALIAN

SINGING IN ITALIAN

SHOUTING ALL IMITATING HORN HONKING

My cousin has no brakes, nor horn.

Did we frighten you?

Oh, no. I'm all right, I think.

When the driver gives the signal, we must all toot like horns.

But don't you think it's a little dangerous to drive without brakes and a horn?

Oh, no. We hang a St Christopher medal on the windshield.

Nothing can happen to us.

SHOUTING

IMITATING HORN

-Did you ever ride in a truck before?

-No, I haven't.

Whoa!

ALL CHATTERING

-Georgio, what happened?

-Oh, nothing.

Nothing? It's an accident.

ARGUING IN ITALIAN

Isn't that Anita, your secretary, in that truck?

And with the interpreter from the office.

GUITAR PLAYS SINGING IN ITALIAN

SINGING AND GUITAR PLAYING CONTINUES

TELEPHONE RINGS

Pronto. Why, yes, she is. Just a moment.

-It's for you, Maria.

-I don't know anyone in Rome yet.

Hello? Yes.

Yes. It's that Prince Dessi.

Dino? How did he ever find this number?

Well, how did you ever find the number?

Oh, one has ways.

I was planning on flying my plane to Venice this morning.

Have you been to Venice?

He wants to know if I'll fly with him to Venice. What'll I say?

-Say no.

-Yes, I'd love to, but I'm sorry.

I can't.

Y... Um... He says we could fly there and be back by tonight.

That's what he always says, and then he'll have trouble with his propeller

and you'll have trouble with your reputation.

-Thank him kindly, but hang up.

-Yes, I'd love to, but...

It's very kind of you, but I'm sorry. I can't.

-Say yes.

-Yes?

-Yes.

-Just a moment. Why?

You want to see Venice. But tell him you have to be back by tonight.

-But you just said...

-Never mind what I said. Tell him you'll go.

You will? Oh, I promise you I will get you back tonight.

And I will do everything I can to see that you enjoy your trip.

Can you be ready in a half hour? Good.

I shall be there.

HORN HONKING

You are ready! This is the first time I have not been kept waiting.

It's a good omen. Good morning, Miss Frances. It is very nice to see you.

At the prospect of going to Venice, I could be ready in five minutes.

Oh, I can promise you it will be a trip that you shall long remember.

So let us not waste any time.

You don't mind giving Miss Frances a lift, do you?

Not at all. Where shall I drop you, Miss Frances?

Venice.

-Venice?

-Well, if it's not too much trouble.

You see, Frances was going to Venice herself this weekend

and I thought it might be fun if she came along with us.

-Oh.

-You don't mind, do you?

Oh, not at all. Not at all.

But, well, my plane is not a large one...

..and, well, I'm afraid it would be most uncomfortable.

Well, I suppose I had better take the train after all.

Oh, that is too bad. I certainly couldn't let you make that trip alone.

So I'll go on the train with you, and I can meet you in Venice.

Is that all right?

SINGING IN ITALIAN

CHILDREN SHOUTING

-Mama!

-Caro!

BOTH SPEAKING ITALIAN

This is my mother, Anita. I told her all about you.

Buon giorno, signora. Come sta?

SPEAKING ITALIAN

She talks too fast. What'd she say?

-She said you're very pretty.

-Grazie.

-This is my father.

-Come sta, signore?

-Ohh!

-Bravo, Georgio.

SPEAKING ITALIAN

Quando il matrimonio, eh?

-What did he say?

-Oh, nothing.

My father means well, but he misunderstands.

This is my sister Angela.

-We are celebrating her engagement today.

-Oh, ciao, Angela.

SPEAKS ITALIAN

SHE REPLIES IN ITALIAN

ALL LAUGHING WOMAN SHOUTING IN ITALIAN

REPEATING ITALIAN PHRASE Dinner is ready!

SINGING IN ITALIAN

SPEAKING ITALIAN

-CHEERING ALL:

-Bravo!

HE SINGS A BALLAD

WHISPERING

Off there is Rome.

I used to sit here when I was small...

..and dream someday of going away to the city.

When I first came to Rome as a boy, I threw a coin in the Fountain of Trevi.

I wanted to return and become a lawyer.

-What do you think?

-You got your wish.

No. There is something more to the dream than I asked for.

-CHUCKLES

-Well, you'll be a lawyer.

You'll be a very good one too, I know. I've always liked lawyers.

That's not what I meant.

The man you are going back to America to marry...

..is he, by any chance, a lawyer?

Well, the truth of the matter is...

-LAUGHS

-Actually, it embarrasses me to have to tell you, Georgio

but I guess I do owe you an explanation.

No, you owe me nothing, Miss Anita.

I have no right to cross-examine you. It was not judicial.

-But I...

-No, no. Please.

What's in the valley below?

The bottom of the hill. LAUGHING

But there is also a pool and a stream.

-Very shady and beautiful.

-Hmm.

I've always liked streams. Could we go down?

But of course. Uh, shall we take my cousin's truck?

-I'll honk when you signal.

-All right.

BALLAD CONTINUES

You wouldn't believe it, I know, but this car and I are the same age.

Hmm. I believe it.

OK.

-Oh! Are you hurt?

-Put the car in gear!

-Georgio!

-Jump, Anita! Jump out!

-Georgio! Georgio!

-SHOUTING IN ITALIAN

-GEAR GRINDING

-Georgio!

Anita, put it in gear!

Anita! GRINDING CONTINUES

Anita! Anita, jump!

-Jump out!

-I can't!

Anita! Anita!

-Georgio!

-Anita, did you get hurt?

No. No.

No, I'm all right. I... I just couldn't get it into gear.

You could have been killed, Anita.

No.

Anita. Anita. SPEAKING ITALIAN

I love you so much. I want to tell you that I love you.

MAN SHOUTING

ALL SHOUTING

What are they shouting?

They want to know if we are all right.

-SHE SIGHS

-You tell them we're quite all right...

..for the moment.

NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE

Look. BELL TOLLING

Look.

-It's been a wonderful day. It really has.

-I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I'm sorry I was 15 years late in accepting your invitation.

Perhaps we can do it again, in another 15 years.

-MAN:

-Scusi, signor.

SPEAKING ITALIAN Oh, grazie. Will you excuse me a second?

Something tells me he's angry.

I don't blame him. It was a mean trick.

Pity is, I really like him, and now he'll probably never want to see me again.

I really should have stayed at home.

Nonsense. We agreed this was my chance to see Venice.

Why don't I take the train back tonight, and you can stay on an extra day?

-If you want to. Do you want to?

-Well...

SPEAKING ITALIAN

It was the airport. My plane is ready to take off at any time.

I was just trying to convince Maria that she ought to stay over another day.

Well, of course, if you two wish to remain, but I have to get back tonight.

It is regrettable, but I have a meeting with some of my tenants tomorrow.

If both of you are leaving, there's no point in my staying on here alone.

Alone?

Under the circumstances, I'm sure that I can make some arrangements.

Oh, no. I don't want you to disappoint your tenants.

Well, where are you?

I was just wondering how it would feel

to ride to work on the handlebars of a bicycle.

-Why?

-INTERCOM BUZZES

-Yes, Mr Burgoyne?

-'Maria, will you come into the office at once?'

Yes. He must have slept here.

DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

Yes, Mr Burgoyne?

I want to talk to you, Maria.

We feel, at the agency, that Americans abroad have a responsibility to their country.

They should always conduct themselves with dignity.

If you mean about my going to Venice, Mr Burgoyne, I assure you...

-I was referring to Anita, Miss Williams.

-Oh.

As you know, it is the policy of our agency

that our secretaries do not go out with the local employees.

-Yes, sir.

-Anita has been violating that rule, hasn't she?

Why, whatever makes you think that, Mr Burgoyne?

I saw her going out of the city with Georgio.

Oh.

There was some sort of festival in the country and...

She spent the weekend with him? But she's going back to America to be married.

Oh, no, she isn't. She only used that as an excuse...

You... You mean that the situation is such that it became necessary

for her to create this deception?

You don't have to answer that, if you prefer not to.

I'd gladly answer it, Mr Burgoyne.

Anita has done nothing wrong, I promise you.

Why don't you ask her yourself?

I will. Thank you for your reassurance, Miss Williams.

It's only that my interest in my girls here transcends official obligation.

-Is that all, sir?

-Yes, thank you.

-ANITA:

-Yes.

Yes, but you see, we haven't had any official notification of it yet.

Yes, sir. Yes. All right.

Via Condore.

51, yes.

I can't understand why she said she was going home to get married.

Do you know if she's seen a doctor?

Such a thing would never occur to me.

She seems like such a nice girl.

Nice girls are human, my dear.

Hi.

-What are you doing?

-I'm moving.

-Anita, what's happened?

-How could you have done this to me?

-How could you?

-Do what?

I don't know what you're talking about.

What business was it of yours if I went to the country with Georgio?

What right had you to tell Burgoyne I'm not going home to get married?

Well, he asked me why... I only thought I was helping you.

Did you think you were helping by telling him I spent the weekend with Georgio?

I didn't say it that way.

Well, he asked me if I wanted to consult his doctor.

He said the office would be very happy to pay for it.

He wanted to know how long this had been going on.

Anita, I...

I'm sorry.

Well, I'm going home in a few days anyway

so in the meantime, you stay here in the apartment.

I'm going to stay someplace by myself.

Will you please listen to me?

I can't remember what I said to Mr Burgoyne, but believe me, it's been distorted.

Well, he fired Georgio!

Oh, no.

He fired him without a recommendation.

Jobs are hard to get without a recommendation.

He wanted to be a lawyer. Now he can't.

We certainly left him with something to remember us by.

-Anita!

-DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

-Hello, Georgio.

-Anita.

You should not have come here. How did you find this place?

I looked your address up in the office files.

-I cannot ask you in.

-Please.

It's not a good place.

Burgoyne told me why he fired you.

I knew the rules. I broke them.

I cannot honestly say I regret it.

-What are you going to do?

-I shall try for another position.

Failing that, I can always return to my family.

It's not hopeless.

If you'll have to go home, you won't be able to continue your studies.

Perhaps I shouldn't be a lawyer if I cannot honour simple office rules.

Look, don't justify Burgoyne!

This could cost you your career.

-I'm not gonna let him do it to you.

-Anita.

You must not be angry. I knew what I was doing.

This happened. I will accept the consequences.

I'm gonna go back to him and make him take you back.

You will only convince him he acted wisely in the first place.

But... I can't just go away...

..leaving you here to face a problem I created for you.

You will go back to America, as you have to...

..and I will return to our farm, if I must.

Georgio, I have a day or two left before I have to go back.

Would it help you at all if we spent them together?

Anita.

Oh, cara.

No. What could I offer you?

I have no job. In the end, you have to leave anyhow.

-You are not free.

-I'm free to do anything I please!

-You are going home to be married.

-I'm not going to be married.

I'm not even engaged.

I only told Burgoyne that as a excuse for leaving the agency.

There is no-one?

-SHE SIGHS

-There's no-one.

-Come in, signorina.

-Thank you.

-Frances!

-Yes?

-Hello, Maria.

-Hello.

-Should I have phoned?

-No, of course not. Thank you, Louisa.

-What is it?

-I can't find Anita.

I've checked the hotels. She hasn't been back, hasn't been to the office.

-I'm just worried sick.

-Well, I don't think we need worry about it.

Anita's hurt and unhappy, and she probably wants to be alone for a few days.

She'll show up. Did you talk to Burgoyne?

He won't take Georgio back.

Oh! He's a fool.

-What can we do?

-Nothing at the moment.

Now, stop worrying about it. It wasn't your fault.

Look, do you think Mr Shadwell could get Georgio's job back for him?

-That would help.

-Well, we'll see.

I'm going over to the museum to pick him up now. Why don't you come along.

-You haven't been to the museum yet?

-No.

Museums I can do without. I was born in one.

-You were?

-Sure.

My dad had an Indian museum on the highway next to his gas station.

It was free with 10 gallons of gas.

This one has a different kind of an attraction.

What?

Prince Dino is there with Shadwell discussing some paintings he's donating.

-Oh.

-Wouldn't you like to see him again?

-He'd just love to see me.

-You could discuss art with him.

That would be a change. What does he collect, nudes?

No, as a matter of fact, he's mad about modern paintings.

Oh, that's a side I'd never suspect.

Why don't you show him you have a side he'd never suspect?

-Show him you have a mind.

-Oh-ho!

Oh, I love you, but I couldn't fool a fool.

-I don't know anything about art.

-Give it a try.

You might end up meeting his mother.

And why should I want to meet his mother?

Meeting Mama in Italy is the first step to the altar.

Oh. Well, um, let's discuss art some more.

Don't forget - neo-impressionism.

Neo-impressionist. Neo-impressionist.

Neo-impressionist.

Harmony of colour...and infinity.

You'll do.

How can you say it bores you? You, with your heritage.

My heritage included a castle with no plumbing...

..but I happen to prefer running water and modern art.

You'll forgive me if I don't take your opinion seriously.

I knew you when you were still running around in three-cornered pants.

Hello. I'm Maria Williams.

We met at the Burgoyne's, Mr Shadwell, but I'm sure you don't remember me.

You're quite wrong. I remember you very well.

It's the party I've forgotten.

-How do you do, Miss Williams?

-Hello.

I drove over with Miss Frances. She asked me to tell you she's waiting for you outside.

Punctuality is the vice of virtuous women. May I drop you?

No, thank you. I have my car.

Dino, take the advice of an old friend.

Don't treat a work of art as you do an automobile...

..turning it in for a new model every year.

-We can't live in the past forever.

-Exactly.

Nonsense. We live in the past from the moment we're born.

Personally, I think heritage can sometimes shackle art.

Not to forget plumbing.

-Good day, Miss Williams.

-Good day.

I shall leave heretics to their heritage.

Well, it's very nice to see you again.

Oh, I wonder...do you know if the museum has any modern art?

Modern? In what sense?

Now you really will think I'm a heretic, but

I'm passionately interested in the, uh, neo-impressionists.

-You are?

-Oh, I thought you'd be outraged.

But, yes, I'm mad about them.

As a matter of fact, I'm a neo-impressionist myself.

There's a fine collection here. May I show you the room?

-Well...

-This way.

Unless I miss my guess...

..sending that girl in to get me was a feminine intrigue of yours.

-Am I right?

-Whatever makes you think that?

Don't be evasive.

Dino told me of your interference in Venice.

What are you trying to be, Mother Goose?

-Maria is a friend of mine.

-And Dino is a friend of mine.

Let people lead their own lives.

They have absolutely nothing in common.

You'd be surprised. Dino's fond of art, and Maria was born in a museum.

-She was born where?

-Ask her yourself.

Her father is curator of a museum out west.

You're right. I am surprised.

-Do you like it?

-How can you ask?

-Does it speak to you?

-Oh, yes, definitely.

Well, then, what does it tell you? What does it say?

Well, different pictures say different things to different people.

Yes, but the right paintings say the right things to the right people.

Yes, and you're so right.

Well, this...

Now, this seems to have a... a feeling of space.

Those lines that carry you off into the distance.

Oh, infinity is...is so lonely.

Yes, it makes me want to cry.

You surprise me.

I could not have put it better myself.

Oh, well, you mustn't let me keep you.

I'm just going to sit here a while and absorb it.

If I may, I'll sit here and absorb also.

-It was such an enjoyable afternoon.

-What are you going to do now?

Now?

Well, I'm going to go inside and sit down and just think quietly

about all those lovely paintings.

You must think me silly to feel so deeply about art.

Oh, not at all. One seldom meets an American girl

with your sensitivity, your sense of appreciation.

It's wonderful.

Well, if that is so it's probably because I'm half Italian.

-You are half Italian?

-Well, actually, three-quarters.

But I resemble my Irish grandmother.

LAUGHING Now, imagine! Three-quarters.

Mmm, well, that's why I took this job in Rome.

I wanted to be near my own kind.

Well, thank you again for dropping me here. I must hurry in.

Now, I shall see you again?

I don't know. You see, I'm rather afraid of you.

-Afraid? Of me?

-Oh, not because of your reputation.

But, you see, I've discovered you have an exciting mind.

Something that handsome men rarely have.

The combination might be too much for someone as responsive as I am.

Well, goodbye, and thank you again.

CAR DOOR CLOSES

ENGINE STARTS, CAR PULLS AWAY

You sent for me, signorina?

Yes. I'm told that the Prince Dino Dessi often dines here.

-He is a friend of the signorina's?

-Oh, yes.

I'm giving a small dinner party for him, and I thought you might be able to tell me

what his favourite dish is.

Of course. He is particularly fond of saltimbocca alla Romana.

Oh. Just a moment.

-Saltimbocca...

-Alla Romana.

Alla Romana. And his favourite wine?

Oh... Oh, yes. Lacrima Christi.

Lacrima Christi.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Would the signorina like to order now?

Yes. I'll have a cup of coffee, please.

A cup of coffee.

It is his favourite opera, signorina. This I know.

Oh, no. No, I know that he likes, uh, Wagner.

Wagner? That is impossible! He likes Italian opera.

I heard, myself, him say many times...

..that German music assails the ear with its fists.

Italian caresses with its fingertips.

Well, thank you.

ORCHESTRA PLAYS CLASSICAL MUSIC

ORCHESTRA CONTINUES

MAN SINGING IN ITALIAN

MAN CONTINUES SINGING IN ITALIAN

Will you excuse me? I'll join you presently.

-Yes, of course.

-Buona sera, Dino. Come stai?

-Ah, my friend. You must sit with us.

-I can only stay a moment.

I'm with the Burgoynes, and I wouldn't want to inflict them on you.

-How do you do, Miss Williams?

-How do you do?

-I saw you at the opera. Did you enjoy it?

-Rossini is one of her favourites.

Indeed. I do wish Alvarez were less limited in his tessitura.

-Don't you?

-Do you?

-No. No, not at all.

-I don't either.

But surely you disagree about the various tempi of the conductor?

Why?

Now, my friend, we found no fault with this performance.

-You cannot spoil it for us.

-Oh, I'm sure Mr Shadwell wouldn't do that.

-I-It's just that he's a perfectionist.

-Thank you.

I know that from your books.

-Which one?

-All of them.

Well, you've certainly covered a lot of territory.

Dino, you're in the hands of an expert.

Good evening, Miss Williams. Arrivederci, caro.

Ciao.

He likes you.

And I'm glad, because he's my friend.

Now, what shall we have?

Well, I know this is mad...

..but I would just love some saltimbocca alla Romana.

Excellent! Saltimbocca alla Romana is a favourite of mine.

Now, what would you like to drink with it?

Do you suppose they'd have some Lacrima Christi?

But of course!

Maria, it is astounding how much we have in common.

-CHUCKLES

-Well, you're very kind.

Italians certainly have mastered the art of gallantry.

But it's true.

It's sweet of you to say so, but you needn't pretend that you like everything I like.

It's too tiresome for you.

But I swear it's true. I can think of nothing on which we disagree. It's amazing.

You really are a nice person.

You try so hard to make a girl feel that she's chosen the right thing.

Whether it's true or not isn't important.

It's the motive that counts. Don't you think so?

Of course. Which proves that we agree on everything.

SPEAKING ITALIAN

RESPONDS IN ITALIAN Grazie.

What's the matter?

Maria...

..there is something I want.

-Well, what?

-I should like to have you meet my mother.

Well, if you like.

-Sunday.

-So soon?

I shall call for you.

CLASSICAL MUSIC WITH PICCOLO PLAYS

MUSIC CONTINUES

DOORBELL BUZZES

SPEAKS ITALIAN

MUSIC CONTINUES

Oh, you're early.

You play the piccolo too?

No, but I've always wanted to learn.

If you're going to study music, Rome is the place to do it.

RECORD PLAYER CLICKS OFF But I also play the piccolo!

Now, Dino, you must stop saying that you like everything I like.

You're going to make me think you're insincere.

But I do play the piccolo.

-You see?

-But you play like an angel.

Perhaps someday we can play duets.

I should like that.

Well, I think that we should not keep my mother waiting.

SPEAKING ITALIAN

RESPONDS IN ITALIAN

Maria?

-Maria, this is my mother.

-How do you do?

It was good of you to come to see me.

Thank you.

-Isn't she lovely, Mother?

-You failed to do her justice.

Dino, bring my blue shawl. It is chilly.

Uh, but, Mother, you have your blue shawl.

Take it away. It is warm.

Go away, Dino. I want to talk to Maria alone for a moment.

-Will you have a cigarette?

-No, thank you.

-CLEARS THROAT

-It's a lovely day, isn't it?

I want to tell you, I was predisposed to like you.

You were? Why?

You have made my son happy. For that, I am grateful.

Oh, I shall not live forever.

It was a matter of concern to me that he should depend on me for understanding.

-Well, I really haven't...

-My son tells me you are half Italian.

Oh, yes, uh, actually three-quarters.

Your father?

Yes, but, um, I-I really didn't know him. He died when I was a baby.

A pity. My son also lost his father when he was a child.

You both have an early tragedy in your lives.

It is good that two people should start with understanding.

Yes, I-I guess so.

Dino, you are much too quick.

Now, Mother, I shall tell you something that will amaze you.

Do you know that she plays the piccolo?

I am amazed.

Well, I don't, really. I'm just beginning.

Oh, you are modest.

Dino, bring us some wine. We shall drink a toast.

Do you know what wine she likes? Lacrima Christi!

-No!

-Yes.

-Yes?

-Yes.

-No.

-Yes!

I'm very glad that you like my mother.

How could I help but like her?

She's the only woman I've ever trusted completely...until I met you.

Oh.

EMERGENCY BRAKE SETS ENGINE OFF

There is something I would like to say to you, Maria.

Yes?

But first I should like to explain to you that...

..what experiences I have had in my life before

have left me...suspicious.

But you're not the least bit suspicious.

-That's one of the things I like about you.

-I hide it well.

But always beneath...

..there was cynicism.

I say "was," because since knowing you it is gone.

Oh, Maria, it is good to be free of doubt...

..to find someone that you can trust completely.

-Dino, I-I think...

-No, wait.

First I want to tell you something.

Here, where the heart asks only to be trusted...

I must tell you, Maria, that I...

Dino, please don't say anything more.

Could it be possible that I misunderstood how you feel?

-Oh, no.

-Then why should I not speak?

Because there's something I have to tell you first.

This may hurt you, but I must say it.

Oh, Dino.

I've lied to you from the first moment we met.

I've done nothing to restore your faith or your trust.

I went after you with a well-organized system.

-You are making a joke.

-No, I'm not.

Look. Look, I... I...

I made a record...

..of everything about you...

..what pleased you or what displeased you.

And then I pretended to like everything that you liked -

music and food, everything.

And you...you were as trusting as a lamb. You didn't have a chance.

-I cannot believe this.

-Well, it's true.

Look, I don't know opera from boogie...

..or Lacrima Christi from Corpus Christi.

And I loathe the piccolo.

Dino, if...

-I'm sorry.

-ENGINE STARTS

-Anita! When did you get back?

-Last night.

-Does Maria know?

-Yes.

Oh, I'm glad to see you. We've looked for you in every hotel in Rome.

Maria told me. I've been in the country with Georgio's family.

We're trying to get Burgoyne to take Georgio back.

He'll apologise to you for all those nasty suspicions before you leave.

He owes me no apology.

Anyway, I'm going home as planned.

What about Georgio?

What about him?

Had you thought of staying and marrying him?

He doesn't think we should.

But you're obviously in love with him.

Well, he's dreadfully poor.

Even with his job, he can barely support himself.

He'd have to give up his studies or take me to live with his people.

He says either way it wouldn't work.

-Well, how do you feel about it?

-SOBS

Oh, my darling!

I'm so sorry.

Is there anything I can do?

Just leave me alone, please.

-Well, what are you doing?

-Packing.

I can see that. But why?

I'm going home.

I'm going back with Anita.

He hasn't even tried to see me.

Oh, dear.

Never knew I could feel this way. It's pretty awful.

I know it is. It's awful, for both of you.

I hope you won't mind being alone in the apartment...

..but I couldn't stay on, you know.

Of course not.

I'm glad I'm not young and vulnerable any more.

-KNOCKING

-Yes?

I have brought the signorina a present.

Why, Louisa, how nice of you. Thank you.

-KITTEN MEWLS

-Why, Louisa!

Whatever made you do this?

Oh, he's a dear little thing.

We have worried about your being alone, signorina.

Is he old enough to be taken away from his mother?

Oh, yes. My sister say the age is right.

She's... How do you say? Oh. A maiden lady.

She has many cats. She would not be without one.

She talks to them from morning till night...

..just as if they were people.

Does she, indeed?

I will bring you a box to take it home in.

Thank you, Louisa.

KITTEN CONTINUES MEWLING

LOUD MEOW

Oh, no, my friend.

It hasn't come to that yet. You're dear and small.

But I'm not going to turn to you out of loneliness.

-Good morning, Miss Frances.

-Good morning.

-Where did that come from?

-Louisa gave it to me.

-Why?

-Why shouldn't she?

All the old maids in Rome have cats.

I've seen them in the evening in the courtyard, feeding them leftover spaghetti.

That sounds rather waspish.

Will you be able to type up last night's pages for me this morning?

Yes.

-Is anything the matter?

-No.

You seem a bit curt this morning.

I've come to a reluctant decision.

-I'll talk to you about it later.

-Moral cowardice?

Very well.

I've decided I want to go back to America.

CHUCKLING Why?

Well, why shouldn't I?

-Have I done anything to offend you?

-No.

Then you have no possible reason for wanting to go back to America.

I've been away for 15 years. I want to go home.

-Would you like a holiday?

-No.

I'd like to finish this work for you.

Then I'd like to go have my passport checked.

This is nonsense.

What would you go back to? You've no relations.

You'd live alone in a hotel room, go to concerts on Sunday

and work for some dull-witted business executive.

-What is attractive about that prospect?

-Nothing.

-Nevertheless, I am going home.

-Oh.

What about me?

How am I going to get along without you? I've come to depend upon you.

I dislike change. I dislike new faces.

Friends of mine are going back, and I want to go with them.

Maybe a hotel room alone in New York will be hard to take.

But the prospect of becoming a lonely old maid...

..with a life behind her, a stranger in a foreign country...

isn't much to look forward to either.

And who knows?

Perhaps some nice old man will want to marry me after all.

Have you ever considered the possibility of marrying me?

Every woman considers that prospect with every man she meets.

I'm quite serious.

I would guarantee you the companionship you want.

You've certainly had time to get used to me. There would be no surprises.

You know me too well.

I have enormous respect for you.

You add greatly to my comfort.

In fact, you're about the only woman I know to whom I would make such a rash offer.

A marriage...based on friendship?

The Chinese marry as total strangers. At least we met.

-CHUCKLES

-And suppose you should wake up one bright morning and discover

that I was desperately in love with you.

Wouldn't you find that rather disturbing?

The possibility of arousing unsuspected passion at my age would be not only disturbing

but rather miraculous.

Would you care to think this over for a day or two?

Are you sure you wouldn't?

The offer is quite genuine...

..if a bit casual.

Then my acceptance is quite casual

but a bit genuine.

Thank you.

I'm sure we'll be quite compatible.

-Grazie, Anna.

-Prego, signorina.

-Hi!

-Hi.

I'm just writing my folks that I'm bringing you home to stay a while with us.

But I'm not going home after all.

-But you said this morning...

-That was a hundred years ago.

I've decided to stay and get married.

-No!

-Isn't it ironic?

You're both so young and so lovely

but of the three of us I'm to be the bride.

-Shadwell?

-Who else?

-No!

-LAUGHING

-Oh, that's wonderful. How did it happen?

-I don't know.

I really don't know.

After being in love with him for 15 years, this silly man has asked me to marry him.

Have you ever heard of anything so absurd?

INTERCOM BUZZES

-Good morning!

-Good morning, Louisa.

I brought these flowers. Will you put them in a vase, please?

-Is Mr Shadwell up yet?

-He's up and gone out. His door was open.

Have breakfast ready for him. He's probably just gone for a walk.

Yes, signorina...

Oh, the signorina has a new dress! It is very pretty.

Maybe a...a little too young.

Oh, it is spring, signorina!

LAUGHING

You should have come to me the first time this happened, my friend.

That would hardly have been possible.

I've had headaches all my life.

What do I do now?

I would advise you to go to America. Dr Weisner is there now.

-He has managed, in these cases, to delay...

-No, thank you.

-I have no desire to prolong uncertainty.

-Think about it a while.

I prefer to think how best to spend this year allotted me.

One is not infallible in matters of time.

I don't think I shall work today, Dr Martinelli.

There's never any preparation for a death sentence, is there?

There is a lifetime.

That sounds like something I might have written.

-Goodbye, Doctor. Thank you.

-Goodbye.

Come.

Mr Hoyt, there's a gentleman here to see you about something.

Come in, sir.

-Thank you. Mr Hoyt?

-That's me, sir.

-I'm John Frederick Shadwell.

-Won't you sit down?

That's interesting. Same name as the writer.

-I am the writer.

-You are?

Well, I'm one of your fans.

-That's good to hear.

-Looking for material for a new novel?

Just information. I want to know what must be done to ship a body to America.

Well, you've come to the right man. That's my specialty.

-I handle former citizens.

-LAUGHING

-You seem to enjoy your work.

-Oh, I don't mind it.

Other vice-consuls have clients who talk back. Mine don't.

An obvious advantage.

Now then, I should like to know the exact procedure in having a body shipped home.

Well, first I must have a letter making the request.

-Who writes the letter?

-That's a good question.

The regulations say a close relative.

Then I must have a certificate from the doctor,

a notarized report for the American port of entry,

then permission from the city of Rome and an export license.

Sounds quite complicated.

Dead or alive, there's still a lot of red tape to it.

Thank you, Mr Hoyt. I shan't detain you any longer.

I assume this is all for a new story of yours.

-There actually is no body.

-Oh, there's a body, all right.

-Is there? Whose?

-Mine.

Good day, sir.

DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

You were up early this morning.

-You want your breakfast?

-Not at the moment.

-I finished these pages.

-Thank you.

Is anything the matter?

-I've had a very bad night.

-Let me get you some coffee.

I was quite concerned over this impulsive discussion we had about marriage yesterday.

This morning I realised you could not possibly have taken me seriously.

Why not?

Because you have too much self-respect to consider seriously

the offer of a man who is interested only in keeping his secretary.

You handled it extremely well, and my admiration for your tact is boundless.

-Should I have reacted otherwise?

-No.

Of course you should go home, since it is so important to you.

In fact, the sooner you can make arrangements, the more convenient it'll be for me.

I want to go to Capri for the summer, and I'd like to get away as soon as possible.

Aren't you going to finish the novel?

No, I seem to have lost interest in it at the moment.

So, if you can book passage...

..I promise not to place any more embarrassing obstacles in your path.

And you do forgive me for my selfish panic?

Of course.

DOOR CLOSES

SPEAKING ITALIAN

Yes, signore?

I should like a bottle of scotch, some ice and a siphon of soda.

Sorry, sir. No bottles.

Why not?

Drinks, yes, but no bottles.

Very well, my friend.

Bring me six double scotches, and line them up before me.

Very good, sir.

Are you, by any chance, following me, Miss Frances?

-Yes.

-May I ask why?

Dr Martinelli called after you left.

I see.

Is what you learned from him the reason you changed your mind about us?

I suppose it's quite natural for you to assume that.

But the truth is, it had nothing to do with it.

It was one of those unfortunate coincidences.

Oh.

He told me he suggested you return to America. You will go.

My dear Miss Frances, my life, my career

has been founded on facing facts as I discover them

never by wishful thinking.

I've no intention of seeking a dubious year of grace.

But in an extra year's time perhaps the doctors will have discovered an answer.

Cures must be discovered sometime.

I shall accept my fate with as much good grace as I can muster.

-What do you intend to do with those?

-I intend to get drunk.

-Why?

-I've been cautious too long.

I'm sorry that you've learned about this.

But since you have, you can be of great service to me.

I intend to spend the time I have left here in Rome, where I've lived most of my life.

But, oddly enough, I want to be buried in America.

There are numerous details involved that I should like to leave in your capable hands.

Please don't.

I can't listen when you talk like this.

Then I shall turn the matter over to someone less emotional.

SOBBING

Your greatest asset has always been your detachment,

your freedom from sentimentality.

It'd be a pity if you shattered that record at the end.

And now, if...if you don't mind, I...

I'd like to be left alone.

Does the signora care to order?

Yes. Bring me six double scotches, please.

-Six?

-Six.

Very good, signora.

May I ask what you intend to do with six double scotches?

-SNIFFLES

-I intend to drink them.

May I suggest that you'll live to regret it?

You may.

-But why six?

-I suspect a trick.

The Americans have thought of a scheme to outwit us of our tips.

I must figure this out.

-How can one save on six drinks?

-Well...

That'll be all.

COUGHING

Shall I slap you on the back, or shall I call the waiter to do it?

Neither.

Shouldn't you be at your desk attending to my work?

You've given up. Why shouldn't I?

I had no idea you went in for this sort of thing.

I don't, as a rule.

To the Fountain of Trevi.

To the lovely, romantic Fountain of Trevi, where hope can be had for a penny.

-People are looking at you.

-Well, high time.

-Do you really think you should?

-I really think I should.

-Why?

-Because...

..my life is ending.

Bambino.

Don't hug the shore with it. Be... Be reckless.

You've got your whole life ahead of you.

See what the world is like.

SPEAKING ITALIAN

Oh! All right. All right, all right.

Here, take it.

Take it home and play with it in the bathtub, my brave little adventurer.

-What do you want?

-Really, Miss Frances.

Don't you think you're a bit too old to go wading in public?

I'm not too old. I'm not too old to do anything I want to do.

Allow me to assist you from that ludicrous and liquid posture.

Go away. Go away, please.

Give me your hand, then.

SHE SIGHS

This'll make you feel much better.

I want my mother.

You haven't got a mother.

I haven't got anybody.

-Nobody cares what happens to me.

-SOBBING

Why didn't you let me drown?

A pity you didn't reveal your capacity for vice earlier.

The years would've seemed much shorter, and well-spent.

You needn't flatter me.

Miss Frances, please lie back. You're going to feel dreadful later on.

I feel dreadful now.

-I've gotta get up.

-Why?

I've gotta help my friends. They love me very much.

-I know.

-Oh, poor Georgio.

-Poor who?

-Oh, don't pretend you don't know.

I've got to get to Mr Burgoyne and make him give Georgio his job back.

Anita loves Georgio, and Georgio loves Anita.

-Yes.

-But you wouldn't understand.

You hate everybody!

Well, I should certainly hate to see you make a daily habit of this.

And I've got to talk to Dino.

I want Maria to have her prince. Every girl should have her prince.

At least one.

My dear Miss Frances, please try and get a little rest.

I'll do what I can later, but in the meantime it's important for you to sleep.

Sing to me.

The only song I know would hardly be appropriate - The Star-Spangled Banner.

You'd have to stand up, and...

Do you think you're going to be all right?

Miss Frances?

Sleep.

-SPEAKING ITALIAN

-Signor Shadwell.

Show him in.

SPEAKS ITALIAN

-Well, John!

-Hello, Dino.

I come bearing presents. You've always wanted these first editions of mine.

-I've decided to give them to you.

-But I cannot accept.

-But you will.

-Well, I'm overwhelmed, John.

-Why are you doing this?

-Saves my packing them.

-I'm going away tomorrow.

-Oh. Off to Capri again, huh?

America. I'm going home after 15 years...to be married.

Miss Frances?

How did you know?

For years all of Rome has known how Miss Frances felt. Should I be surprised?