Janet Street-Porter A Taste of My Life

Welcome to A Taste Of My Life -

the show that quite literally dishes up people's lives on a plate.

Now, every single thing we choose to eat and cook can tell us something

incredibly revealing about who we are and how we live our lives,

which is why I'm going to be getting to know today's special guest,

not only through the food they love, but also the food they hate.

Infamous for her brash, outspoken and colourful attitude

to virtually everything she does,

today's guest is one of the country's louder-than-life characters.

-So...?

-Cockney culture.

-Cockney culture.

-I hate it.

How can you hate...? It's life affirming.

It's glorification of an uneducated, illiterate group of people.

-AUDIENCE: Ooh!

-When I find out what that means, I'll argue.

LAUGHTER

She trekked back into our living rooms and our consciousness

via that most notorious of reality shows...

Was there a clucking from the kitchen just then?

-A feeling of slight nausea welled up inside my stomach.

-Shut up. Shut up.

Today's guest is journalist, broadcaster

and all-round mouthy media maverick - Janet Street-Porter.

And, if I can get a word in edgeways,

coming up in today's show...

'Janet is utterly unimpressed

'with some of the ingredients in our kitchen.'

-Ooh, that smells

-BEEP.

-Ugh!

-BEEP

Oh!

I can't believe...

'She's pleasantly surprised by a very close and famous friend

'and she pulls no punches telling me what she really thinks

'of my taste in food.'

I've scratched the surface of Nigel Slater

and I've discovered he's a tacky, common individual.

Janet Street-Porter, welcome to A Taste Of My Life.

You were born in Chiswick and your mother was Welsh

-and your father, Stan, was from Fulham.

-That's right.

They met during the war, they seemed to have a very tempestuous relationship.

When I grew up, we didn't have a lot of money.

My father was an electrician and my mother...

She went through a variety of jobs.

She worked in shops, she did cleaning,

-she was a school dinner lady. I mean, how

-BEEP

-grim is that?

School dinners all year round.

So was the food at home school dinner-ish?

Mealtimes in our family were very, very stressful occasions

because my father was very, very dictatorial and would issue orders.

I always imagine my dad was a bit disappointed that the war had ended.

He wasn't still in uniform with people to boss about.

My dad would literally assure us,

"You are NOT leaving THIS room until you've finished those butter beans."

There must be a few things, though, that...

you actually remember that you really enjoyed.

There must be things you can smell now...

I can smell what my dad used to cook on Mondays.

That was the day that he cooked and Mondays I'd come home from school

and Dad would be... When he came home from work he'd assemble this hotpot,

which seemed to be a tin of corned beef in big chunks,

or whatever meat was left over from the joint the day before.

Then he chopped up onions, carrots,

slices of potatoes - it's like a Lancashire hotpot.

No herbs, obviously, of any description.

He'd put it in the oven for an hour and a half and that would be...

We'd have that.

You can almost smell it now.

-I can smell it. Actually, I quite like it.

-Oh, you do?

-Yeah.

To get the best out of my hotpots,

I always use meat that's still on the bone.

I find that bones enrich the cooking liquid

in a way that seasoning never can.

Pour in the stock to cover all the ingredients.

I'm giving this working-class dish

a flash of the Continent by adding a touch of pancetta.

But like Janet's dad, I am adding corned beef.

Although it's not everyone's favourite ingredient,

I thought it may help take her back down memory lane.

I don't really know

how close this is to your dad's Monday night hotpot.

I can tell you, it doesn't look anything like what my dad cooked.

That was always in a deep... a deep pot that was layered

and you're cooking this on the top of the stove.

What I don't want to do is bring up any sort of childhood trauma.

Oh, no. I'm not going to start... I'm not going to throw a tantrum.

I'm not going to snap the head off my dolly again.

Yeah, or hide food in your pockets?

Yeah, I used to hide beans in my pockets.

I've got over that.

To me, it's just something that reminds me of being a kid

and thinking, "Oh, please, no, not corned beef."

It fits in with this dish all right.

This is a kind of Nigel stew.

Bits of corned beef... Eeurgh!

It looks like dog food.

-Sorry.

-The corned beef looks exactly like dog food!

-I didn't want to bring back the trauma of your childhood.

-You've got a herb there, look.

-That's more than you got in the '50s and '60s.

-I never had herbs.

Something tells me that you probably were a very rebellious teenager.

-I don't know why I think that.

-I suppose from the age of about 12,

I became Sulky Janet.

I thought my parents had possibly picked up the wrong baby.

-They wanted a boy, didn't they?

-My dad wanted a boy.

Then I went to grammar school, I had my first cookery lessons,

but only in year one. Term one - letter A,

so I did A for apples and making an apron.

So I very quickly knew how to make apple crumble, baked apple,

apple charlotte, apple turnover and made an apron.

In term two, I was whisked off to do Latin.

-So you didn't get to B and C...

-I can't do beetroots, broccoli,

Brussels sprouts or beef.

How did you learn to cook?

Did anyone actually teach you?

In my first year at college, I made friends with someone

called Piers Gough, who's still a great friend of mine,

a really great friend of mine and he's designed two houses for me.

He is such a close friend, I can't believe that we're still speaking,

given that we've both got giant egos and very short tempers.

As you know, Piers is still cooking and a very good cook.

He's got a surprise for you.

Oh, God, what's it going to be?

My old house.

For Janet, I'm going to do a really rich tart

-because this is our youth.

-Oh, no!

We didn't care about how fat things were and so...

There's tons of butter in this and it's luscious and it's got Cognac in.

This is one of the dishes that we discovered when we were young.

So I'm going to measure up six ounces of flour,

then butter - three ounces of butter - half the amount.

I was like a stick then. You've seen the pictures of me.

I was modelling then. I was like size...

Two stone lighter than I am now.

This is the pastry,

which no doubt some book says you're supposed to put in the fridge.

We could pretend.

We could pretend to put it in the fridge, but I really don't see why because it's ready now.

She was a great star in our first year - she was so, so glamorous.

She was so savvy, she was so street...

What we call street now.

She was a London girl and I was up from out of town and she just knew everybody and knew the scene

and looked a million dollars. She was so exciting to look at.

To have her in our year at architectural school

made our year seem fantastically glamorous.

When we went to the school,

everybody wanted to know about us because Janet was one of us.

She was so much a thing. But of course, the minute Janet left and was working in magazines,

she was all over the magazines.

She wasn't just working in them, she was photographed in them.

It was quite clear that she was going to become absolutely a star.

There's a real sense... Being with her is like being with

a kind of a dervish or whirlwind. She's very engaged with the world.

She always knows what's new and what's happening.

-He's being so nice.

-I get very nostalgic about it, actually.

He's a life friend. He's been through all the marriages,

seen them all come and go.

She is forthright and all power to her

in this age of mealy-mouthed...kind of making friends with everybody

by feeling your pain.

-Janet does not feel your pain.

-I don't.

She dishes it out. Heaven's sakes...

I think she gives a lot of hope to a lot of people.

What's he doing?

Oh, look! It's a J. That is so brilliant.

Sorry there wasn't room for the SP.

Oh, that's great.

It's fabulous.

Here's his tart.

Oh, my word!

# When change is hard and... #

It tastes great.

We haven't actually finished with Piers,

because he's let me into something of a blast from your culinary past.

-Is it nasty?

-No, it's not nasty.

Well, I may have taught Janet how to cook cassoulet

because I was very enthusiastic about cassoulet.

On one of her birthdays,

I went round to her house and she was cooking the dish.

But she had a lot of people coming.

I discovered her in the kitchen with two kitchen sinks...

and both sinks were full of cassoulet.

All the bits, the beans and all the mess.

And she was up to here...

-I've got a bit of a shock for you.

-No.

-I'm going to put you on the spot.

-Yeah?

-I was wondering if you'd make cassoulet for me.

-Oh, great.

How many people have I got to make it for, though, Nigel?

I'm not doing a BEEPing meal for 56.

-It's a sink-ful, please.

-I'll do it.

-Good.

MUSIC: "Le Freak" by Chic

I have not cooked this for...

20 years.

For those who don't remember,

cassoulet is a rich, slowly cooked and layered bean and meat stew.

I think cassoulet's like riding a bike.

-You just kind of...

-It just comes back.

What do you cook things in when they get to that quantity?

I've got some very big pans.

I would not usually use these. These look like crappy tomatoes.

# ..And you too will be sold

# It's called Le Freak... #

Put your beans and some of that in.

When you cook these beans, this dish takes days to prepare.

One reason I don't cook it any more is that if you're cooking cassoulet properly...

-It's cooking with a capital C.

-It's a commitment. What goes in next?

I should chuck those in.

# Feel the rhythm Check the ride

# Come on along and have a real good time... #

Layers and layers.

-I'll just get a few more beans...

-BLEEP

-Smells fab.

-This isn't a dish for anybody on a diet.

You're going to be farting for days after this.

# Find a spot out on the floor... #

How many people do you think this is going to feed?

-Oh, about eight.

-No, surely more.

How many hours has it been in now?

It feels like about three.

How beautiful is that?

Well, I haven't seen a cassoulet in Great Britain for 20 years.

It's fabulous, isn't it?

Yes, please.

It smells great.

This is a dish that will not be eaten by Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna,

Stella McCartney - meat central.

-Fab.

-Is it good?

Are we going to fall out over this?

Nigel, I don't think I will fall out with you.

Still to come on A Taste Of My Life.

'Neil Tennant of The Pet Shop Boys

'tells us about Janet's birthday bash.'

She had a party in a village hall.

Which was great - it looked like it VE night, 1945.

They've gotta cook in the water!

I know.

You are my...you are my under-chef.

Janet tells us what it was really like surviving on bush meat in the jungle.

I had to do the cooking, otherwise I'd have gone mad!

I couldn't listen to the drivel they were speaking.

'And she reveals her greatest regret, over a final feast that will have meat fans drooling.'

-Is there anything you haven't done before you go?

-Stayed married for very long.

-You started writing - you started as a journalist.

-I got a job almost straight away

-on a teenage magazine, Petticoat. It was fantastic!

-I remember Petticoat.

At the end of nine months,

I was offered a job on the Daily Mail as deputy fashion editor and writing a column and I was 21!

I never went back to college.

When I started working in television, then I really did entertain a lot.

Sometimes I was doing two TV shows a week and I'd have my food delivered.

I just never went shopping!

When I went to Sainsbury's or down the supermarket, people would follow me round to see what I was buying.

It was ludicrous - I hated it!

That's one of the reasons why I became a TV executive - I couldn't handle all that.

All those dishes at that time which, in many ways, is where my heart is, food-wise - all that '70s stuff -

we suddenly discovered the Italian or French way to cook...

-Using olive oil.

-Using olive oil and cooking them very slowly so they go sticky and sweet.

Do you remember that wonderful dish with chicken liver or lamb's or calf's liver - the Veneziana?

Oh, yeah. I remember going to an Italian restaurant off Knightsbridge

with Twiggy, David Essex and, um... some bird with David Essex.

He was looking at the menu and said, "I think I'll have that." And she went, "You don't want that, David.

"Fegato - that's liver." SHE GUFFAWS

-But gorgeous stuff.

-I love liver and onions.

Liver is a pet hate for many, but the knack

to sweetening up this dish is all in cooking the onions for a long time -

almost half an hour.

This way, the entire dish becomes a simple,

caramelised, deeply sweet and soft delicacy.

But when you finally add the liver...

-Some liver Veneziana for you.

-Oh, God, I love this!

-Have you ever actually had it in Venice?

-No.

-I've always wanted to eat it in Venice.

-I've had it in Venice. Tastes great.

It's difficult to find what you haven't done. I mean, if you look

at the radio series, the TV series, you produce, you've written, directed, presented.

I like a challenge and also I like to reinvent myself, because...

I'm 59 now. I accept that there have been whole decades of my life when you're kind of out of fashion.

And after I did that show, I'm A Celebrity...

The reason I did it was that people had a very definite idea of what kind of television I did,

and I thought, "Hey, Janet, you've criticised reality TV -

"get stuck in and see what it's like."

And I completely adored being on that show.

People adored you. It changed people's perception of Janet Street-Porter.

-Should the onions be done first?

-No.

-Put oil over it...

-They might take a bit longer.

-No, they won't.

Paul, you're talking to a woman

-who's cooked more dinners than you ever will.

-All right.

I'm short-tempered, bossy, don't suffer fools.

I had to do the cooking, otherwise I'd have gone mad! I couldn't listen to the drivel

-they were speaking hour in, hour out.

-What about the nurturing thing? You became the cook.

-You became...

-Yeah, but I'm not a mother figure.

-But...

-I've had four husbands - no children, no pets.

-You were feeding them. You've got friends.

I've got friends.

In the jungle, I used everything - all the peelings of all the fruit and the vegetables and everything.

It was all made into something else - teas,

-or stocks. We...

-Like your mother used to do.

-I know. It's dreadful. I'm turning into her!

I do love cooking for friends - I really do.

It's just a way of giving them

something that you can't express any other way.

You've got some very smart friends. You must have a fabulous address book.

I've got some famous friends, like Elton John and the Pet Shop Boys.

-But if they come round to my house, they get, you know, the way

-I

-cook.

Obviously, Elton has a chef and you go to his house and you eat,

you know, NOT fancy food, to be perfectly honest -

delicious food - but everybody appreciates straightforward food.

And that's what I cook - it's just like me. With me, what you see is what you get.

-I've got a little surprise for you.

-Oh, my God!

# ..And power can give a man much more than anybody knows

# Oh-oh

# And I'm with Stupid, oh-oh

# I'm with Stupid... #

-Janet is an excellent cook.

-Oh, Neil!

Her signature dish is chicken pie.

She's a very good cook, a very unpretentious cook.

There's not normally fireworks in the kitchen, in my experience.

When I've been on holiday with Janet

and she's cooking, I let her get on with it - she prefers it that way.

And also, she washes up as she goes along.

So when you eat the meal, there's not that much washing up to do.

Janet's birthday is between Christmas and New Year.

She had a party in a village hall, which was great - it looked like it was kind of VE night, 1945.

There was bunting and things.

But the following morning, we always go for a walk,

and this year, Janet announced we were going to a shooting lodge on the moors.

This was in north Yorkshire, which was great.

But when we got to her village where she lives, it was starting to snow.

I knew we were going up onto the moors which very rapidly become impassable.

Janet said, "Oh, no, it's not that far."

-She was just ignoring me.

-I did!

Anyway, we set off and there was this blizzard blowing. I felt like Scott of the Antarctic.

And we got there to this fantastic, just this very simple building

and they had a roaring log fire

and the white wine was in the snow chilling and all that kind of thing and, really, it was quite magical.

It was one of the happiest moments of my life.

-I know people who think of you -

-I

-think of you - as someone who is very London based.

But there is this country side to you.

The thing is, I am a very private person

and, since my early 20s, I've been in the public eye.

I've been photographed, written about, picked over - everybody thinks they know me.

-And I've written thousands of newspaper columns, mouthing off.

-Yes.

But when I'm not doing that, and that is my job,

there's this other person, which is me, which I don't reveal too much.

Because my friends see it...

That's not to say I'm not Nasty Janet on occasion, either.

Normally, this is where I'd take people to their comfort foods, the things that make them feel secure.

But I thought it would be more appropriate to find a few things that, actually, you really dislike.

You've got a few horrors on this table.

-What is this brown thing here?

-Well, it's a brown thing...

-Oh, it's heart.

-Oh, ugh!

-It's stuffed heart.

-Take it away!

-Lovely sauce.

I HATE stuffed heart! There's no way I can eat stuffed heart.

I know it's a working-class dish that everyone says... Would YOU eat it?

Ye...es.

-I'd rather have that, though.

-Battenburg.

That says one thing to me - my mother.

-It's absolutely disgusting!

-Oh, but I love the little...

-It's fake.

-Yeah, but it's like the colour of baby clothes.

-It's so sweet.

-It's sweet, it's got...

-It smells of almonds.

-It's Battenburg!

-I know, but...

-It's common!

Yes, but it's almost my desert-island cake.

I've come on this programme cos I thought you were a man of taste and distinction.

And now I've scratched the surface of Nigel Slater and I've discovered, underneath,

he's a tacky, very common individual.

Who also likes Black Forest gateau.

That's just being ironic.

-Oh, you've got crumpets!

-I have.

-Can I have a crumpet? It's my top comfort food.

Crumpet with taramasalata.

-Look at that!

-So, OK...

-This is something...

So this is OK and this isn't?

-Well...

-This is a pink, doughy thing and THIS is a pink, doughy thing.

-I know. I shouldn't be eating it.

But I tell you what - when you've had two bottles of wine, it's nectar of the gods.

Oh, God!

-How good is that?

-Absolutely divine. Don't tell anybody I put taramasalata on crumpets.

Once I got off with this bloke at a party and he came back to my house.

I couldn't possibly have sex with him - I was too busy toasting the crumpets.

-So, Janet, your final feast - your last meal on this Earth.

-One of my favourite games

is playing Death Row Meal - you imagine you're on death row

having the last meal you can ever eat on Earth.

What would you eat?

Oh...probably...

ice cream.

-Oh, God!

-Sorry.

-I wouldn't waste my last meal on ice cream.

-I'd waste it on meat.

-Well...

-Meat!

I'd have really good sausages -

really good, English sausages with loads of pork in and no fillers.

I'd have some... probably NOT this bacon.

-I'd like dry-cured, unsmoked...

-Green bacon.

-Green bacon...

-Yeah.

-..I adore. And then, black pudding.

-Is this a good black pudding?

-Yeah.

I cut it like that.

-Why are people squeamish about black pudding?

-It's fantastic.

It's just dreamy, isn't it? Oysters. Now...

-Yeah!

-I don't know where these oysters come from, but probably small oysters.

Small, sweet oysters. What I don't like are big, chunky...

Mmm!

-Great! I love oysters.

-It isn't a "bells and whistles" final meal.

No. I wanna go out in an orgy of meat eating.

You know what's in here?

-Oh!

-Here is the most beautiful...

roast pheasant.

That looks fantastic!

Isn't it gorgeous?

-That looks great, doesn't it?

-It is. It's food to get your fingers round.

Oh...! God! Look how great...

-Not too much. Still pink.

-How am I doing as an employee?

-Very well. You can come round my house...

-How are YOU as an employee?

-I can't imagine you working for anybody.

-I never have, really.

If I was a politician, only one job appeals to me - dictator.

-Nothing less.

-Why doesn't that surprise me?

'And that's Janet Street-Porter's final, meaty dish,

'starting with small, fresh oysters,

'followed by lightly fried black pudding,

'moving on to organic sausages wrapped in bacon

'and finishing with a tender and succulent roast pheasant.'

What is left?

Is there anything you haven't done before you go?

Hmm. Stayed married for very long.

SHE LAUGHS

It hasn't really been very long, has it?

No. I've never managed longer than seven years.

I've been married four times. I've had a few, you know, long-term relationships,

but, basically, I haven't managed to stay married, but I'm friends with all of them, really.

-What really makes you happy?

-What makes me happy,

to be honest, is finishing a piece of work,

writing a newspaper column - I can't moan about that.

It's thoroughly enjoyable. I lead the life I dreamt of living

when I was a teenager.

When I was a miserable, sulky 12-year-old in Fulham, I dreamt that I would be successful.

And as long as I can keep eating great food

and not have a big, fat, blobby stomach...

-I agree.

-It gets harder all the time! But I think you can do it.

I'm not giving up men, I'm not giving up sex, I'm not giving up eating and I'm not giving up drinking.

-And you're not giving up black pudding.

-No.

-So, your feast...

-Who would you have with you? You've got five people.

-Oh, God! That is SO hard!

I'd probably have Paul O'Grady, Elton John, the Pet Shop Boys...

Hmm...I suppose I'd have to have my boyfriend, really,

or he'll have the hump.

Janet, thank you for being on A Taste Of My Life.

-That's OK. Can I get rid of this bread now?

-BLEEP

-waste of time!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd - 2006

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