Episode 8 Christmas Kitchen with James Martin

There's just a week left to get your festive food sorted so if you

looking for inspiration, don't move for the next 45 minutes. This is

Christmas Kitchen. Welcome to the show. If you are in

80s about your turkey, a panic about your Christmas pud, relax because we

are here to help. Coming up, The Spice Men that are Tony Singh and

Cyrus Todiwala, treat us to a Christmas canape and mulled wine

trifle, and we cracked open some Christmas foodie archives with a

visit to Lorraine Pascal. And bringing some Australian sunshine to

the studio is a restaurant owner of Granger and Co in London, Bill

Granger himself. And the man who has a little round belly that shakes

when he laughs like a bowl of fruit jelly... I did not write that! You

said it like you meant it! Our special guest as a TV show, a

musical and now his own film, it is Harry Hill. A busy time for you.

Yes, the musical comes out in the New Year and I am going around

promoting this wonderful movie I have made for all the family. What

are you doing for Christmas? I normally have my mum over, invite

her around and then hide when she rings the door bell! Someone

normally picks up! I am going to do a very Christmassy onion and Cheddar

on blue cheese bread. And turkey? Yes, of course! Brian, you are

continuing your quest to try to convince me and 25% of the

population that we should be eating turkey for Christmas. You should,

this is for the leftover turkey. All the vegetables and anything left

will be made into a turkey pie. The potatoes are marvellous but what is

underneath makes the potatoes, live. -- come alive. We will do this pot

roasted chicken, not turkey. With mushrooms, some bacon, some

tarragon, Madeira, nice and simple. I am going to cut this chicken into

four pieces and then eight. The first thing you do, you get this bit

called the chef 's eye, you remove that and you keep this meat on the

bone. Keep it nice and simple. Christmas is busy, talking about the

movie. The first movie for you, what has it been like? It has been

fantastic. I have Julie Walters in the film. She is great fun and a

proper actress. You have an amazing cast! We have Matt Lucas to his pub

actor, we have some funny people -- Matt Lucas who is a proper act of

Ulster by am worried I might not be the funniest person in the film!

Matt Lucas is a proper actor. It is me, my Nan and my hamster, called

Abu. Keep up! It is a good start! The hamster becomes ill, we think he

has only got a week to live. I ask him, what would you to do if you

only had a week? He said, I would like to see Rhianna. But because I

don't speak much hamster, I think he says I want to go to the top of the

Blackpool Tower. So we head off on a road trip... It is a bit cheaper...

We head off on a road trip and I am issued by my evil twin, Otto hill,

we were separated when we were young and he was brought up by Alsatians.

It is a true story that had to be told!

You have written this script? I have written it with two other blokes. It

is with two writers who write cartoons. It is very much like a

human cartoon, very fast taste. And lots of crazy things happening --

fast paced. We have songs, the magic number is running a bed and

breakfast. We have a tribute to Blackpool, the city of 1000 dreams

song. It is a big, fun, family adventure, perfect for malting the

snow on Boxing Day. Here is a little clip. Harry Hill, Julie Walters,

Matt Lucas. Simon Bird, Sheridan Smith, Johnny Vegas, Jim Broadbent.

That image will be difficult to get out of our heads! You are an evil

twin! I know! APPLAUSE

A lot going on. It is an hour and a half but it feels like 20 minutes.

What has it been like, being able to do your own movie? It has been

great. I thought it would be like TV. I thought it would be like three

episodes of TV burp. What it is a really involved process, quite

different. episodes of TV burp. What it is a

really involved process, quite It has been really good to spend the

time polishing something. You spend a come on this amount of time

researching TV burp, you do all the research. I used to watch all the

shows, including Emmerdale. Yes, it was nightmarish. Are we going to see

it come back again or has it gone? I think it is done now. I did so many

of them. I think TV has changed to a large extent. It became harder to

do. I wanted to make sure we did not start making ropy versions. You know

what it is like when you are making a lot of shows in a row! There is

always a chance that the quality might step! I find that if you

change the talent quite a lot... I am depending on you, Harry! We found

him down the book is the other day and we dragged him in. It is cruel.

He is like a coconut shy. If the movie was not enough... Out on the

20th of December, it is called The Harry Hill Movie. If that wasn't

enough, you have a musical. Yes, I have written a musical about the X

Factor, it is called I Can't Sing. Picture this, you have an idea for a

physical about the X Factor and you persuade the bloke who you are

taking the Micky out of, Simon Cowell -- a musical about the X

Factor. You persuade him to agree to make it and put the money up for it.

It is pretty smart, right? He says, what is it going to be called? You

say, I Can't Sing. In a way, it is the TV burp thing we used to do,

celebrating but taking the Micky at the same time. About the kind of

whole X Factor talent show thing. He has seen it, I take it? He came

along, we had a workshop. We had written the whole thing by then. We

had the songs and the jokes and a story. They said, if Simon likes it,

it is going to go ahead, if he doesn't like it, that is it. It was

very much like being on the X Factor. And he liked it. That will

be hitting London... He had his Rolls-Royce outside with the engine

running! Literally! It is going ahead. It is opening at the

Palladium, the mecca of light entertainment. Brian was on stage

last week, compere in at the Palladium. Comparing what? Rick

stein did a night there. I was there during the day. What a fantastic

experience, to stand on that stage. We were in the next day and there

was a strong smell of curry. You are right, we did fish curry! What does

he do for a Palladium show of cooking? It was the story of his

life and journeys and clips from his films in France, Spain, Cambodia. It

went so quickly, like you said. Did you sing? I did sing. Brian Turner,

the movie will be next. It is quite long! Mashed potato has butter and

cream. What is the difference between a pot roast and broiling?

Pot roasting, I think that is big in the oven. So do I. A casserole, you

can cook it on the stove. The idea is we throw everything in. It has

Madeira, cream, stop. Tarragon, mushrooms -- cream and stock. You

lift out these pieces of chicken. Wild mushrooms are in season at the

moment, they are wonderful quality at the moment. You take this sauce

and you put that with it. We have made mashed potato, literally with

double cream and butter. Over the top. You could do this with turkey

but you need to cook it in a bath come because the turkey is

ridiculous in size, pointless. You use a knife and you chop it up! We

put the mashed potato on the top. What I have for you, truffle. I

don't know if you have tasted black truffle before? I have never had

anything like that, I have very simple tastes. Fresh black truffle

over the top. You can dive in. It does look very nice. It is very hot.

Would that explain the steam coming off it? It's very heart! -- hot!

Here are The Spice Men! Are you all right? Cyrus Todiwala and Tony sing

with the Christmas just for you. Christmas time, the nights are

drawing in, crisp, cold evening. A nice time to sit with family and

friends and enjoy some good food. Party food. Absolutely, let's get

some cooking done. What are we doing for our first Christmas Kitchen

recipe? We are making a spiced IRC style fishcake. -- parsee style

fishcake. It is for sharing. If you don't mind chopping some onions for

me. The best job in the world. In the meantime, we love cinnamon. With

that, good old Kashmiri chilli. Break it into pieces. Get some of

the seeds out. It is not for heat, it is for flavour. Straight in

there, please. That noise is one of the best noises. Fantastic. We leave

that for a while. Would you mind taking the crust of the bread? In

the meantime, I am going to get cracking on the fish. Straight into

the machine. I have about five cloves of garlic. The important

thing is for people to always by slender, long green chillies. They

make a mistake by buying the fat ones. For Indian food, that has got

the flavour. Chopped ginger, and of course, fresh coriander. That looks

professional! I had somebody else do it for me!

You are not using anything like an egg? Yes, one egg in there. Salt and

a touch of pepper. And there we go. As simple as that. That onion is

almost ready. If you put the ginger and garlic inside. And what we are

going to do, get a bit of water in your hand so it doesn't stick. Raw

cane sugar. And now I am going to add a bowlful of this chopped

tomato. That goes inside. It starts to evaporate. A touch of salt. That

makes a beautiful stuffing. That would be nice with a Scotch egg. Do

not forget, Scotch egg came from India. People lose patience and flip

it over fast, we need to be patient. A beautiful colour. Lovely.

I love the smell. So beautiful. And the coriander. It is for the source,

OK? -- sauce. We can feed quite a few people. That is our Christmas

Kitchen special. Very festive colours with red and green.

My Christmas treat is a sherry trifle. We will have a twist. There

will be mulled wine jelly and nutmeg. What will make it different,

it is mulled wine jelly. Get your jelly of choice, strawberry is mine,

and what we are going to do, we will exchange the amount of water to

mulled wine. It goes in with a cinnamon stick. Cardamom. Very

potent. Two clothes. -- cloves. Orange zest. A little bit of sugar

because the wine is sharp. Fresh ginger. It does not matter if the

skin is on. We are getting the flavour. I will get the leftover

pieces of cake because we do not waste. All of that in? With the

liquid? Yes. While it boils, we will whip the cream. I will pour

everything in there. We will strain it after. We will keep the aromatics

in there as long as possible. We will pour the jelly over the Madeira

sponge and fruit. Look at that. That is it. The trifle has been in a

fridge for a couple of hours, it has set and we will put on the custard.

Lovely custard. And the cream? It reminds me of my cake baking days.

Glace cherries. I knew that. Hundreds and thousands. Memories? Of

course. Flaked almonds. This is my mulled wine spiced trifle of not

make Madeira cake. -- nutmeg. All that is left is to wish everybody a

Merry Christmas. Hundreds and thousands. I bet they bought them

and they are not handmade. Here is Valentine Warner, Jason Abbott, and

Tom kitchen with festive advice. My Christmas tip would be keep it

simple. You do not need ten different vegetables, four is fine.

My mother over cooks Christmas vegetables. The day before, peel

your vegetables. Boiling water, quickly Blanche them and sets the

colour and plunge them into iced water. The next day, an hour before

the turkey, butter and sea salt, warm them in the oven and you have

perfect vegetables. Take note, ma'am will stop honey roast parsnips,

Blanche them, drive them and roast them in the pan with butter, honey

and a cinnamon stick and star anise. Great ideas. It is time for

Australian sunshine from Bill Granger. I am going to do a

delicious home-made bread. That sounds good, better than that stuff.

Turkey, I sense deep emotional scarring. It is him. Use dried

yeast, salt and sugar and flour and mix it up quickly and add water. Did

your mother make dry turkey? We were pig farmers and has roast pork on

the menu. That is a copout. Let's see what your mother says. My father

and grandfather were butchers and I still have turkey, pork, beef, ham.

Australians will eat anything, ostrich, anything. The biggest

problem is most people cook it once a year and do not know how to do it.

What do you reckon? I am not converted. We have had so many on

the show. Chop up the onions. Fry them and I will finish it. Sugar,

balsamic vinegar. You can do it in a kitchen aid with the bread hook, or

by hand. I find, when I have done the cooking for Christmas, you want

something warm to go with it, and this bread... Australian Christmas,

what is that about? You have the strange thing. My family has a

British background and you have the tradition of Turkey. My grandmother

would turn up the air conditioning. 42 degrees outside. We would eat

this wintry meal. It has changed in the past few years and we do

seafood, salads. You are based here now. I like a wintry Christmas. You

have a new restaurant, Horizon. Yes, in Clerkenwell in London. It is

very trendy. The meat markets there, turkey hanging up. Thursday night he

can be seen in the skate park excavation mark he does not go off

the high bit, otherwise he gathers too much momentum. It takes up to 40

minutes to rise and double in size. Shape it. You can make it flat. I

quite like to do it like a loaf shape. It is therapeutic making

bread. Harry, have you tried? I cannot say I have, but it does look

therapeutic. I will be trying that when I get home. With the onions,

cook them down. You get a lovely onion marmalade. Cooked with

balsamic vinegar and sugar. It will rise up a little bit. The great

topping, delicious. All you need now is a hotdog. We will go a little bit

fancy, almost a hotdog, pancetta. Drizzle some oil over it. Do you let

it proved? No. Just that one. A bit of rosemary and put it in the oven.

I am crisping the pancetta. A slightly dry pan, to get it nice and

crisp. You will use this to top the bread. Streaky bacon, British

streaky bacon? Yes. I was being trendy, pancetta. That is

Clerkenwell. You have to be trendy. The onions have caramelised. We have

blue cheese. I always buy too much cheese at Christmas and have a lot

left over. Stilton. Yes, but you could do anything. My children hate

blue cheese. You could do a mixture with half of blue cheese. I love it.

It screams Christmas. Vacherin. The French classic, that would look good

on there. I am giving that a couple of minutes to melt the cheese. What

have you done with the onions? Quite a hot oven, but not for very long.

The onions, you cook them down, half an hour, sometime and Salt and

Pepper. -- some thyme. To serve that, cold cuts. Turkey, ham,

delicious leftover turkey. Be gentle with it. It is not appetising. Not

the way you are holding it up. You should caress it, believing it. --

in it. Some turkey and ham. Next year will be busy, a new book and TV

series. The TV show I did at my house and the restaurant. Very much

home cooking. The book, I am doing Italian. Bill Granger does Italian.

I have no authority to do that. There is a great saltimbocca recipe.

You will find it on the website. Ready when you are. The cheese has

almost melted, you do not want to completely dissolve it. It is

starting to melt and the pancetta is already cooked. You have strong

flavours, predominantly to cover up the flavour of the turkey! It is

lean and moist. It is definitely not moist. It is, it is beautifully

cooked. The bread and chutney. I think it looks pretty good. I think

they need to taste it and see what they think of it. It will not hurt

the blister on the roof of my mouth, will it? Turkey or ham? Can I

persuade you to try some? I will have some bread. Try it with the

turkey. That takes me back to my childhood in Melbourne. It does need

a hotdog! Still to come, Brian Turner continues the turkey

challenge to convince me it deserves a place on the Christmas table. But

we can first delve in the archive with a visit to Lorraine Pascale and

a twist on all the trimmings. How you? I am all right, how are you? My

dad is normally the Christmas chef and has arrived early to give me a

hand. Your favourite. I do not like sprouts that much, to be honest.

This is the vegetable for Christmas. The way I cook them, you mask the

flavour. But, chestnuts and chorizo. Spanish teacher excavation mark I am

retired, but not that retired. There is not much food you dislike. You

always loved food. People asked how you managed to keep so thin. A bit

of exercise and not to overeat. We are not even halfway there. For

extra crunchy red potatoes, peeled and cut into large chunks and

parboil. At the goose fat and lard to a roasting tin and put into the

oven to warm up for about five minutes. Carefully at the potatoes

and season well, roast for one hour and 15 minutes, turning and basting

every so often. There are loads of things you can do with your other

vegetables for Christmas lunch. What you do depend so much on how much

bass you have in the oven and how elaborate you want to be. Here are

my suggestions. First off, and sprouts with chestnuts and one of my

favourite ingredients, chorizo. 25 grams of butter, season with salt

and pepper, and then raced in the oven for 25 to 30 minutes, adding

the chorizo and the chestnuts halfway through. The sprouts should

have caught a rich golden colour and be soft when pierced with a knife.

Cut the carrots into large batons, hit some oil in a large frying pan

and then add the carrots. Sprinkle with cinnamon and season with salt

and pepper. Cook over the hub for 25 minutes until they are soft and just

beginning to char. Turner Giulia leaked so that they don't burn.

Throw in the raisins and walnuts for the last ten minutes. Scatter the

parsley all over and serve at once. I am also cooking my parsnips on the

stove. Hit two tablespoons of oil, quarter the parsnips lengthways and

scatter them into the pan. Sprinkle with thyme and rosemary, season with

salt and pepper and toss everything together. Cook them for about 25

minutes, remembering to turn regulate so they don't burn come

until they are just softened and beginning to char. During the last

five to ten minutes, drizzle over some maple syrup.

During our time together on Christmas Kitchen, Brian Turner has

been tasked with the challenge of trying to make me and 25% of the

nation... And one, 80%..., the news is getting better -- hang on. I

really can't stand the stuff. The feature is called Brian Turner's

Turkey Challenge. On the menu, what do we have? I have tried all kinds

of ways already. Mosby Ball have a roast turkey and lots of veg. Here

are the less -- most people have a roast turkey. Here are the

leftovers. I am just looking at the jumper. It is a nice jumper! We have

sprouts, carrots, peas, passwords. These are not leftovers -- parsnips.

We get a pan on, a bit of oil in there. There is no real recipe to

this. If you haven't got all of the vegetables, don't worry, and if you

have a different vegetable, use that. The turkey that you are using,

you keep referring back to this piece of the turkey in the fillet.

This is turkey leftovers. It is the most tender part of the turkey?

Marginally as a statement but you may well be correct, we have never

analysed it! Why don't you use the other bits? You can use any part you

like it whatever is left. Just listen to me and you will learn! It

is putting all the flavour together and making it work. He has this

obsession, Harry. You are a fully trained doctor, I think he needs

tablets. I caught him the other day and he was scratching his foot like

that. We may have to dart him. Don't encourage him! For goodness sake! I

am going to put a bit of butter in there. Onions and then take the meat

off the bones. Keep the bones, they make a great stock. Even Michele

Rugolo thinks that. -- even Michel Roux thinks that. It looks a bit

dry! How can you say that! Tell me that tastes dry, it is three days

old! Did you eat that? Yes! We put the turkey in there. We give it a

bit of colour. Just caramelised it on the outside, it is great flavour.

I have carrots and parsnips. When it is ready we are going to put it into

our pie dish. What was the Palladium like? Fantastic. Rick stein was his

usual brilliant, laid-back self. We cooked 12 dishes. No one has ever

done... Nobody has ever made the Palladium smell like an Indian curry

house! I can imagine what he means. It was a great end to the show. Rick

told his life story and he was brilliant. I suspect we should do

that show again, we might tour with it. The excitement of standing on

the stage at the Palladium. Bill Haley, Bob Hope, the Beatles, Frank

Sinatra, Harry Hill are so many great performers have been on the

stage. Ken Dodd. Absolutely right! Everybody loved the evening. Now

Brian Turner. I was only hosting, I was helping to make sure the whole

thing worked well together. We are going to put a bit of Worcester

sauce. It does look a bit dry. It does not. You would do this at home

with potatoes and make it into bubble and squeak, and you would

love it. This is like a bubble and squeak for goodness sake. Tomatoes

in their for a bit of colour, salt and pepper. What do you want doing

with these bits? Put them into a bowl here. We come from Yorkshire,

we will hang onto those, they will go great in a soup. It wouldn't make

a lot of difference if you put them in but I think it is cleaner

without. We utilise everything in Yorkshire, don't we? That is why the

turkey wedges are stopping my car rolling down the hill! That is out

of order! We mix all of this together. You have changed! What

about you? ! This is the kind of dish that works great if you are

actually... Starving. That is also true. You can stick it in the oven

on a low temperature. They are not hard at all. You are trying to be

awkward and you are succeeding very well. When this is cooked for about

20 minutes, perhaps less, up to the boil, pile it into this pie dish.

Bags of colour, it is a great way to get kids to eat vegetables. They are

a big part of this with the turkey. It is not all turkey. Look at the

gravy. It looks fantastic. I think you are going to love this dish. If

you want to be a bit special about it, stick some herbs in there, some

tarragon. Shall I tell you an interesting fact. According to

scientists, some of us were born to hate the festive Brussels sprouts.

The gene, carried by 70% of us, makes the brain detect sharp bits of

flavours and that is why we don't like them. You are right, the

bitterness. 82% of the nation are going to have turkey this year. It

is moving forwards all the time. This is two days after Christmas,

you have eaten plenty, you have a fridge full of leftovers. What do

you do to use them up? This is a perfect way. I don't have that many

roast potatoes left over. My dad always used to say to my mother,

Lily, because that was her name... Make sure you do plenty of veg. At

about eight o'clock, he would say... I want to see your life

story! He would say, would you like a fry up and we would fry this. Put

it into the oven for about half an hour. About two days, keep topping

up with liquid and stock. You only need to top it off if it dries out.

You are going to be gobsmacked. Let me put it over here for a second. A

bit of butter on there. We also had some gravy left. It has not been

thickened with flour. Do you like the skin on the gravy as

well? Some people do, some don't. You can make your own mind up. A bit

of chopped parsley on top. I have put butter on it, it is ready to go.

I would put more butter on it, to put Maugham Oyster on it. You don't

need moisture. -- to put more moisture on it.

That has made all the difference! Happy with that? I am very happy

with that. Do you want to get a spoon. Do you want to taste this

because it is up to you as well, I suppose. Get a few potatoes, make

sure you get some potatoes. It looks like a sort of hotpot.

It is like a hotpot. But it has a topping on.

Shall we try that? I am depending on you, Harry. Mind you don't burn

yourself. It has just come out of the oven! Your honest opinion. As

your dad used to say, Lily, it is a bit dry. No, it is not, it is very

tasty. It can be dry, this turkey, can't it? If you get a big piece of

turkey and put it in the corner of the room, you can use it as a

dehumidifier! It is not fair! Would you make that this Christmas

question much yeah... Try and stop me! Day two of dealing

with leftovers, this is a great way to put it together and it is great.

Thank you very much. It gets stuck down your throat! It does not! I

have got to decide whether it is worthy of going into Brian Turner's

recipe book, which is not looking for. More like a pamphlet. -- not

looking full. Alternatively, it goes in