Episode 5 Floyd on Food

On my travels around the country on these whimsical little Floyd programs,

where we're looking for food

and trying to teach you to enjoy yourself,

and trying to get you to cook good things and stuff like that,

I sometimes, quite frankly, get a bit bored with fish,

with bouillabaisse, with lobsters,

with pigeon in red wine and boeuf bourguignon and stuff like that,

and sometimes I really crave for something quite simple,

like my grandfather used to have on Saturday nights,

you know, a plate of boiled pigs' trotters or something,

or a plate of tripe and onions or maybe cabbage boiled with bacon.

Anyway, I wanted to go somewhere where they're not proud,

where they care about their cultural and gastronomic heritage.

It's not France, it's Ireland we've come to.

This is all very well, isn't it?

A brilliant track from Dire Straits, lovely views,

typical BBC fine camera work. Well done, Richard.

You'd hardly think this was a food programme so we'll knock

the travelogue on the head and get down to business in the market.

The marketplace, my dear gastronauts, is where it's at.

This spiced beef, a Cork speciality,

looks as though it's been hewn from the ground and rolled in gunpowder,

but, believe me, after a few hours simmering,

it makes the most superb beef sandwiches.

And look at these inexpensive delicacies,

pigs' trotters, or crubeens as they are known here.

And, treat of treats, pigs' tails. Yummy, yummy, yummy.

'And here's one of me now, just coming up,

'in my brilliant green hat, posing to perfection as a leprechaun.

'But, that's got nothing to do with the price of fish.'

I'd like some of these fantastic prawns. Are these Dublin Bay prawns?

No, they're not, they're Castletown prawns.

How far away is that? It's 100 miles down and 100 miles back.

Oh, my God! Did you go and get those?

And we travel every two or three nights a week. Good God.

What's the best...

We arrived home last night after buying at 12 o'clock in the night.

For real? And they are alive, too?

And, er... Oh! Yes.

There's a live one, isn't it?

It's alive, alive-o, as we say in Cork.

Listen, can I have about £5 worth? No problem. Lovely.

Thank you very much indeed. What's the best way to cook them?

Well, what we do is we tail them,

just like this, and you get this portion.

You put them into a little saucepan,

lukewarm water, little bit of salt,

and you bring them up to the boil and you boil them for three minutes.

Shell them off. What have we got over here? These are lovely herring.

Can I have a look at the herring, please? Yes, you can.

That's nice, isn't it? Very nice.

One of those for breakfast will put us up all right,

and a pint of stout, I couldn't think of anything better!

You can have them grilled, which is beautiful.

We take the head off and we gut them

and we do just three little cuts on the back on both sides,

a little bit of butter in and you grill them

and you have an excellent dish for 15 pence each. Beautiful.

It's the most beautiful thing in the world. Our own Irish smoked salmon.

Is it better than Scots smoked salmon?

I would think so. I wouldn't dream of running down the Irish!

Dear me!

I really must have a word with Declan about his choice of hats.

He looks more like a short-order cook

than one of Ireland's leading restaurateurs and jolly gastronauts.

Seen here, by the way, preparing crubeens, or pigs' trotters,

as we call them. Watch carefully and you can do this simple dish at home.

Simply poach the feet until they are tender, allow to cool,

split in half and roll in melted butter and breadcrumbs

and slip under the grill. And there it is.

This really is, isn't it, making a silk purse from a pig's foot?

Declan, I've been charging around the West Country of Great Britain

looking for simple foods

and all I seem to find are pasties and beef stroganoff.

If I ask them for regional speciality,

it doesn't seem to exist.

And against my will I've been forced over to Ireland,

and where I find things like pigs' trotters and tripe easily available.

Why do you, who fly the gastronomic flag virtually

for the whole of Ireland, with your splendid establishment here,

why do you put on pigs' trotters and tripe and stuff?

Well, we're not just a restaurant, we are a hotel,

so a lot of our guests are from abroad

and the last thing they want to see is international food.

So, we give them traditional Irish dishes.

On top of that, a lot of my local customers

can now come back to the food of their childhood,

or of their student days,

when they went out on the town, drinking large numbers of pints

and using crubeens as a liner.

To get back to the tripe and stuff, though, why...

You know, I have to beg for tripe from my butcher in Bristol.

He says, "No, can't get it any more."

Where does it go? It's like asking for a veal knuckle

to enrich your stew with, a calf's foot or something.

It doesn't exist any more.

Why is there so much tripe around here?

Everywhere you go, there's tripe.

Well, that goes back to the economic history of the city of Cork.

Cork was first of all the largest butter market in the world

and secondly one of the major provision centres for Britain

and Ireland, and, in those days,

a man's wages were a shilling and a penny a day,

as much bread and beer as he could eat... That's not a bad life!

..and seven pounds of offal for his family. Gracious me.

So there was a tradition of eating offal.

Apparently it's because the rest of the animals were

packed in salt in barrels for export

and the offal they couldn't do anything with

so they had to eat it themselves.

Where did you learn all this, Declan?

Where did you get your enthusiasm for food

and hospitality and cooking from?

Well, my mother was a marvellous cook, so I grew up with good food.

After that I trained first of all in London,

under some of the old boys who had done their apprenticeships

in Escoffier's kitchens.

But that gave me hang-ups that took a long time to break afterwards.

What kind of a hang-up, might I ask?

I felt I was cheating people if I didn't do things as Escoffier had done it.

I was shackled.

He was such a great man, you lived under the shadow still.

We were trained under the shadow, yes.

What is really strange is, now we've gone so far away,

the pendulum has swung right to the other direction

and you don't get those rich, slowly cooked stews and things.

You get thin slices of duck pressed,

fanned onto a white plate or a black plate, even, which, to my mind,

is the extreme opposite of Escoffier

and not necessarily quite where it should be.

Well, I had begun to evolve away from this

but I felt a little bit guilty about doing so.

And then I went to work for les Freres Troisgros,

or one the best of the three-star Michelin restaurants,

in the centre of France, away from the big cities.

And they were doing what I was almost afraid to do.

So they gave me the self-confidence to follow my own idea after that.

So when I came back - wham!

Everything I wanted to do, I just did it.

And to hell with everybody? To hell with everybody.

I'd rather have more of the street musician, frankly,

but my director is never happy without some passing reference

to architecture - the bridge, in this instance.

OK, this is a really very nice bridge. That do you? Lovely.

Oh, and of course I forgot to mention it's full of great

second-hand shops as well.

You realise that he does this to give you a sense of place,

when in fact I'd much rather be in the pub.

And if he cues it right we should find one any minute now.

What a good director, right on cue, into the pub we go.

But, you know, it's for your benefit,

so that you can observe the dying art of preparing

a pint of stout, which here is enacted as a divine ceremony,

not a quick slap on the encounter and say, "All right, John."

Long live Mr Murphy, that's what I say. That's just what I needed.

After all that information, interesting though it was,

I'm absolutely exhausted.

But the trouble is, one of my old mates, he came back to haunt us,

he used to drink so much of this stuff he got heaved out of the pub.

But in the Irish way they do things he came back to haunt them for ever.

And there he is, grinning at us.

Around the country I go, eating these delicious things,

and they always make me eat oysters.

I used to love them. I'd had so many I've got quite bored of them.

And yet here I am in Cork and, as Disraeli said,

"What could be better than a BBC mini break in Cork?"

With a pint of your old stout here,

a load of oysters to really cheer you up, and the chef here's

made me some brilliant red spicy sauce to go on them.

And, you know, it is true, they do put lead in your pencil.

My God they do.

# It's the finest of foods

# There can't be any doubt of it

# Tickle your taste buds and knock 'em about a bit

# Ladies will love it and sailors will shout for it

# Give 'em a treat with the oysters and stout. #

Enjoying yourselves? Good.

But I bet some of you are beginning to mutter,

"When is he going to stop chattering and get on with some work?"

Well, as I speak I'm on my way to Kinsale to do it right away.

Now, my little gastronauts,

if you spend a little more time with the simple things of life

and less showing off with expensive fillet steak,

not only would you be a healthier person,

but you'd be a better person, and that's why we're here

because once again the BBC mini break has conned its way

into Kinsale and borrowed a restaurant from a friend of mine,

who later on you'll meet.

But in the meantime, back to the real business.

Richard, show the customers the ingredients.

The tripe you've seen. Very simple.

Over to here, some sliced onions.

Some sliced leeks.

Some parsley.

Breadcrumbs. Milk just to the side of it there and salt and pepper.

That's all we need except for a mystery ingredient

which is coming later on to make this superb tripe dish.

It's simplicity itself.

You, Richard, following me carefully, as you always do.

You put the pieces of chopped up tripe into there like that.

And then you put in some leeks very easily.

This dish isn't expensive. This is the very good thing about it.

While that's just there I cut up these last little pieces of tripe.

Pop those in like that.

A little bit of pepper to go over it, to flavour it.

A little bit of salt, which you can see going in. Very boring, isn't it?

Who needs to know about salt going in?

You can always add a bit more later.

Handful of parsley.

Then in with something I never drink myself, but in fact I might.

I think I might.

Director, pass me a glass, please. I want to allay a myth here.

Thank you. Quick, for God's sake.

You cannot get the staff... Thank you very much.

You ask him for a glass, he gives you a jug.

That is the assistant director - the ex-assistant director.

Anyway, I want to just welcome you all to Ireland in a major way.

This is Floyd on milk, get it?

Right, and the rest of it back here to the pot.

Goes in like that.

And now, very simply, get a good look at that, isn't that beautiful?

It's going to be delicious.

Good if you're feeling ill, if you've had too many stouts,

like I might have done last night. Really a fine dish.

In France, by the way, they make it with tomato sauces and garlic

and stuff like that. I don't think it's a patch on this dish.

Anyway, it goes in the oven.

While it's cooking for about an hour

we shall entertain you in all sorts of magical ways.

The committee is a group who, individually, can do nothing,

and collectively decide that nothing can be done.

This steam roller was unloaded by a committee.

Michael, that looks fantastic. Thank you very much indeed.

I'm sorry we've interfered with your day.

I know you're a busy chap but we'll do the washing up, I promise you.

Have a drink anyway, because it's delicious wine. Cheers.

Thanks for having me in the place.

What is this super dish you've cooked me?

That's Dublin Coddle.

It's made from boiled bacon, some home-made pork sausages,

sliced potatoes and sliced onions and parsley.

And cooked in the oven for...? For about one hour.

It looks absolutely fantastic, doesn't it?

Anyway, very vexed problem in English restaurants

is the price of wine.

And you can go to one restaurant and it's £x per litre,

another one it's £x-plus per litre.

Here in Kinsale, the restaurateurs cooperate

and they buy their own wine.

They fix the price for it in the same ten restaurants

throughout the whole place.

Cooperation, happiness between the restaurateurs,

delight and pleasure for the customers.

It's a thing you restaurateurs could take a note of.

On the back of the bottle here is all the members of the circle,

you see? There they all are.

So quite simply I'm going to pour myself a glass of this

splendid wine,

drink to the successful cooperation of the restaurateurs of Kinsale,

drink to my friend Michael here, and drink to Ireland,

and we're having a ball here.

This is the best place I've ever been in my life.

The reason I didn't involve you with this before,

cos you're such a lily-livered bunch of people, you'd say,

"Yuck, he's going to put that nasty looking sausage in."

That is drisheen.

It's a beautiful delicate sausage made of sheep's blood.

And for those of you who are a little squeamish

I didn't want to distress you.

But I popped it in when you weren't looking

and I covered the dish with wonderful fresh breadcrumbs.

And slipped it under grill...

..and let it go golden brown like that.

Tripe, drisheen, breadcrumbs, leeks,

onions, milk,

the very goodness of everything there is about food.

And look at that.

That is a delight.

A little gastronomic treat to warm the cockles of your hearts,

me darling, and there is the gently poached drisheen in the middle.

I'm rather proud of that dish.

# It's a bit of luck

# If you roast a duck

# And cook it up with Floyd

# It's a bit of luck

# If you roast a duck

# And cook it up with Floyd. #

I could really enjoy a duck right now but don't worry,

these little creatures are quite safe.

The budget won't run to it!

Instead I'm going back to school to make a pudding from seaweed.

Sounds Irish to me but I'm sure that Doreen will reveal all.

And, with any luck, make the pudding.

We've got our little shrimps in it there.

Do you all know how to do that? Floyd!

What are you doing? You're reading the paper!

You haven't been paying any attention!

I'm terribly sorry, I was just selecting

a winner for the Cheltenham Gold Cup.

In that case, you can come back later

and we'll go over the whole thing again.

And then you'll know how to do it tomorrow.

It's a rotten life, isn't it?

Here I am in Ireland, remote, deep, darkest Ireland.

Taken all the trouble to come to the world's finest cookery school,

certainly the best cookery school in Ireland, and what do I get?

A mouthful of abuse from the old trout who runs the place.

Absolutely appalling.

What I was going to say was look at all these wonderful people

who've come from four corners of the earth to learn her wonderful skills

from soda bread, not Skoda bread, which the director pointed out

is a motorcar, we all know that.

To the highest flights of gastronomic excellence.

And in fact when I stay behind afterwards,

she's going to help me to learn to cook something really super.

OK, I'm at this wonderful school.

You're going to make me make a pudding out of seaweed

and I don't believe it.

How am I going to make a pudding from seaweed?

Well, this isn't any seaweed, this is carrageen,

this is a special Irish seaweed.

It's called carrageen cos it's picked off the little rocks.

Carrageen means little rock.

And the ebb tide and it's bleached on the hills

and on the cliffs in the summer.

And the great thing about this seaweed is you've got to use

very little of it because it's actually a natural gelatine.

And the main thing is just a very little,

just what would fit in your closed fist like that.

My fist, not your fist.

This fist, OK?

If you put more than that you're actually going to set your milk

so that it's like cement, and that puts so many people off.

Right. So just that much. Can I use it exactly like that?

No, we've got to soak it in a little cold water first

for about ten minutes, and that reconstitutes it.

And it gives you a chance to see

if there's any grass or anything else in it.

Once it's reconstituted what do I do with it?

Then you put it into a pint and a half of milk

and bring it to the boil and simmer it for about 20 minutes.

And guess what we've done?

I had a little lesson before we started this programme

and we've soaked it for ten minutes to get it gelatinous.

We've put it into milk, a pint and a half of milk.

We've brought it to the boil.

We've allowed it to simmer. I'm going to stick my fingers in.

You see it's gone all gooey.

We put a real stick of cinnamon in to give it some beautiful...

Vanilla! You should have told me off for that! Vanilla, vanilla.

I mean vanilla, into there.

And we've got that ready so that you can tell me what I do next

cos you're the professor.

We've got an egg yolk in here and some caster sugar.

So give that a little whisk.

Here I go, whisking the egg. That all right like that?

That's perfect. And then you strain the carrageen

through the sieve, in there.

It's funny looking stuff. It looks like tripe and onions.

I'll take the vanilla pod at this stage. OK.

Am I doing all right? You're doing beautifully.

What next? Now you've got push that milk and some of the carrageen

through the sieve because it'll be mucus-y underneath now,

quite thick, and that's what's going to set the pudding for us.

This might sound very dull but it's actually going to be delicious.

Can you make savoury things from carrageen?

Could you have a sort of a prawn carrageen flavoured...?

Well, you could. Obviously, because it's like...

You could set a fish mousse or something with it if you wanted to.

Also, they use it to thicken strawberry jam, or you can put

a little into an Irish stew to thicken that a bit.

And it's tremendously nutritious. Is that good enough like that?

No, you must put a little bit more through.

That's fine, I think. Lovely. Will that be OK? Yep.

Scrape that off the...

That's lovely. You can see how thick it is there.

Can you see that? You're mucky. I'm sorry!

You see how thick.

So we whisk that round like that

with my egg yolk, sugar and carrageen.

Get it all mixed up nicely.

And meanwhile you get the white of the egg nicely pipped up

until it's lovely and stiff.

And then you fold that in nice and lightly.

If you didn't have a vanilla pod, you could use a little vanilla essence.

Preferably a natural vanilla.

Now, do I fold that into this or this into that?

Perhaps put that in there, because then we can do it more lightly.

And this is a thing that really matters, doesn't it?

Yes, but pour all that in there first.

And then I will show you how to fill it in,

because you are going about it the wrong way. Right, sorry about that.

My God, she is a terrible woman!

And you mustn't leave it behind in the bowl, look, that is

all the goodness you are leaving behind. OK.

Now, you cut into the centre and fold it up and over,

turning the bowl anticlockwise at the same time,

so you do it nice and lightly now. On you go.

And you see you have got little blobs of egg yolk in there,

so you didn't whisk your egg yolk properly in the beginning.

Telling you off all the way. That's all right.

I can't make one hand go one way and one the other way.

No coordination. No coordination.

I cannot chew gum and walk at the same time. That's the real trouble.

Is that all right? Yes, that is lovely and fluffy. Superb.

Lovely and floppy. Just about 4/10, but anyway. There we are. Into there.

And what do I do with it now?

We just... All we have to do now...

Just scrape it out. Every single bit. Good cooks are all so thrifty...

They are generous in nature, you are generous in nature, aren't you?

Of course you are.

But they're thrifty, because worthwhile ingredients

shouldn't be squandered. And it only mucks up the washing up water.

Now pop that into the fridge, and when it sets you can

serve it with lovely soft brown sugar and cream or even serve it with

an Irish whiskey sauce or whatever you like. OK?

I thought it would be a good idea because,

here's an apple for you, teacher. Brat! Brat!

Anyway, what are we doing in this next sequence?

We're going to do oysters in champagne sauce.

We're going to be very grand.

And we have got the champagne here for the sauce.

Brilliant, brilliant! This is more like it, Richard.

This is much more like it.

I have been bossed around, pilloried to post by this dreadful dragon

and at last we are back on the Floyd programme.

I will have a little glass of this, which is very enjoyable indeed.

Ah, that is much better.

What I'm going to be doing now is a dish on oysters,

champagne and oysters. So, Richard, come down to the thing.

There are a few oysters which we've opened.

Move to your left, Richard, please, and you will see the opened ones.

And then we have got some over here, some beaten egg yolk,

over here, can you see that, some butter,

we have got shallots, finely chopped,

we have got champagne, we have everything you want.

What should we do with them now? A-ha.

You put the half bottle of champagne in here. I like that, I like that.

With it you put the finely chopped shallots and we reduce that champagne

down to one tablespoon.

As you know, we usually cook right from start to finish

but drinking champagne and reducing it seems such a terrible

but drinking champagne and reducing it seems such a terrible

waste of time and we have got one here already.

Now, I don't know what to do now. What do I do next?

Next you... No, we have got to be very careful. This is a butter sauce.

It's almost like making a hollandaise.

So, what we've got to do is put our egg yolks into the saucepan.

Right, in they go.

We've got a heavy bottomed saucepan on a low heat.

That's most important.

Here we go again. I am sorry, so extravagant. Stir that in.

Whisk very carefully, just a second, I will let it heat up a little.

It's on a low heat. Whisk all the time. Lovely. Lovely.

She smiled at me, she smiled at me.

I have done something... Watch what you're doing. You'll curdle it.

And then you whisk in the butter, bit by bit.

Lovely. I am a bit bored with that, can you finish it?

I am going to have a glass of champagne.

I mean, this is quite ridiculous.

I have never had such a rotten time in my life. Blimey O'Reilly.

You're learning how to make a delicious champagne sauce

with Irish oysters. You carry on with that, I'll stuff them in a minute.

# Slurp, slurp, slurp

# Slurp, slurp, slurp. #

Was the sauce all right, though?

Well, you forgot about the cream, no cream in it.

So we've just folded in a little bit of cream there.

We're also going to put a little salt and pepper into it.

With unsalted butter you quite often need a little bit of salt.

Seems I can get nothing right today.

Will you please accept a glass of champagne

with my apologies. Trying to butter me up? Right.

I have got to do something to win back your favour.

Now, let's get on with saucing these chaps. Right.

I have learnt a little tip here today because if you set these

oysters into some salt, they will not wobble over and you are able to

pour the sauce delicately over them.

Not too much. Not too much, like that.

It's a very extravagant sort of sauce,

so just the right amount in each one.

You'd not use flat oysters for this, would you? No.

These Japanese oysters are better,

because they are deeper shelled and meatier.

The native oyster, the Rossmore oyster, is delicious

just au naturel with a little lemon and Tabasco or something. Great.

I'm going to put those into the grill to brown

in a super golden way for a couple of minutes.

Just golden. Keep your eye on them. OK?

Mmmm. A delicious glass of champagne.

I know you didn't want to see the oysters come out of the oven again.

It's only the director who cares about such things.

Anyway, there they are, all my own work, beautifully decorated

with individual shamrocks as you can see. Chervil, come on.

I beg your pardon. Chervil, I'm so sorry.

And here, this is the carrageen pudding which I made, which is

absolutely beautiful. I am going to put some... It looks very strange.

But this, they assure me, is how it should look.

On top of the Irish whiskey sauce I made a little bit earlier.

While you weren't watching...

And my goodness me, it's delicious. It is absolutely fabulous.

And the thing I'm really proud about...is my whiskey sauce.

In fact, I'm going to have another spoonful of that

because that is really... Have a look at this.

All my own work and it is absolutely delicious. Uh-uh!

What do you mean, "Uh-uh"? All MY own work. Sorry, yes.

Well, nearly all my own work!

Anyway... Good carrageen, isn't it? Absolutely brilliant.

Are you converted? I'm converted.

How many points out of 10 will I get for my efforts? I think 5/10.

Not bad at all. Very good indeed.

Thank you so much for 5/10, very chuffed. 5/10.

But this is... it's a super recipe for carrageen.

Sometimes it can be very heavy and stodgy,

but this is my mother-in-law's recipe, you know my mother-in-law?

Myrtle Allen. Myrtle Allen.

I have lived under her shadow for the three days

I have been in Ireland. So have I! They say Myrtle Allen, Myrtle Allen.

Is she a goddess? No, but it's a very good recipe because she uses

so little carrageen and then it means it's light and fluffy and

not like concrete like it sometimes is when you put in too much carrageen.

People cannot believe how little you have to use, just a very,

very little. Well, it's a delight. I am converted.

And I have loved every bit of it.

And actually, I have quite grown to like you! Wow!

You are not bad yourself!

# Fish, fish, fish

# Got to have some

# Fish, fish, fish

# Got to have some fish! #

Sadly, I cannot do the grilled bass because it is too small,

the one I caught, so it's plan B. Beef and bacon. Get it?

That is fine. We've had a terrific morning's fishing

and you know, the fresh air, the sea, the Irish Sea makes you feel

really hungry so we caught some fish.

You actually saw me land one I think.

And I have been cooking all morning.

But not, as you expected, a fish, but a really traditional Irish dish,

boiled bacon. Look at that.

Just boiled in plain water, potatoes, cabbage,

got all those in there Richard, look? Because we only had one stove,

I made the parsley sauce earlier and kept it warm like a Boy Scout

in the thermos flask.

Now, they tell me this is a classic dish.

And that people like Liam

will eat this with pleasure and joy.

I'm sorry I'm wobbling all over the place a bit,

but I'm not actually a film star, I'm just a cookery presenter.

We couldn't get Robert Redford on this programme.

And if you think I'm wobbling all over the place,

I'm not the only one on this boat, you know.

All the rest of the people around me are all ill.

It's ever so funny, isn't it, sophisticated television producers,

directors and all the rest of it,

they are all green, not only with envy

because they're not getting any of this, but because they overdid it

last night and the pouring waves have really done them in.

There you go, Liam. I reckon we've really earned this.

It's a delicious dish.

But is it the sort of thing you really do eat regularly or is this

just a sort of television stunt? No, it's not a television stunt,

it's a good Irish meal.

It is eaten on a regular basis.

It's very good where your family are concerned,

and there's good value in that. So steak is out really, too expensive?

Too expensive. It's like Jimmy said,

you see anybody buying steak and you order a police escort!

This is true. That's true.

Anyway, let's tuck into our lunch,

because I have had enough work for this morning.

I really think the fresh air gives you a hell of an appetite.

I mean, this is just the job, isn't it?

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