Ready-Made Food Factory

When we're in a rush, we want food that's quick and easy,

like ready-made custard and frozen pizza.

But what do they do to these family favourites

so that all we have to do is heat them up?

To find out, we're going to make our own from scratch.

We think we know these foods,

but how much do we really know about them?

How do you reckon they stop ready-made custard from going lumpy?

-Do they put oil in it, fat?

-I think they heat it.

They stir it in some big machinery.

I can't make my custard that smooth!

-Do you like pizza?

-I do love pizza.

Go on, grab a little bit. Do you reckon there's any surprise ingredients in supermarket pizzas?

-Maybe what looks like onion is not a onion.

-Maybe sugar?

Do you reckon there's any fake ingredient in there?

Well, the cheese can't be fake.

-You're happy with that pizza?

-Well, I don't like cold pizza.

THEY LAUGH

I love finding out what happens to the stuff that we eat.

But finding out what factories do to our food isn't easy.

So to copy the big boys, I've set up my own food factory,

here in this barn.

To help me discover what the masters of mass production do,

I'm going to need some factory workers.

Clocking on for today's shift, are two of The One Show's experts,

Lucy Siegle and Mike Dilger.

Whose version of today's supermarket food will go in the basket

and whose will go in the bin?

Our shift at the Food Factory is about to begin.

Lucy, Mike, brilliant to have you here at the barn.

-Would you like to see what you'll be making?

-Yes, please.

-May we?

-You're going to be making ready-made custard.

-Oh, wow, fabulous!

-I love custard.

I'm something of a custard expert. I'm really excited about this.

What does custard mean to you? Why is it something that you're fond of?

It's sweet but it tastes wholesome, for some reason.

-It's such a naughty thing to eat.

-I know, I know.

-The thing is, how hard can it be to make custard?

-It must be quite easy.

I imagine making it a smooth consistency without lumps is quite tricky.

-I think we need to get started. Ready for your shift?

-Absolutely.

-Follow me to the barn.

-Right you are.

Mike's right to be worried,

especially against a self-confessed custard expert.

Making your own custard at home is quite tricky.

It curdles really easily, which is why I think this stuff

that comes straight out of a tub is so popular.

-Is that why you buy it?

-Yes.

-Can't be bothered to make it?

It's a convenience food, isn't it? I only like cold custard, really.

-Really?

-This is when I like it best.

-You're weird. That's very peculiar.

-I think that's normal.

-Do you eat it at home, cold?

-Yes! With bananas. Oh, no!

-I think it's all over.

Lucy's going to absolutely trounce me here. Custard maestro.

Your challenge is to make two rival tubs of custard,

using the same techniques that they use in a food factory.

When you've made them,

we'll offer them to a group of our taste testers and they will decide

whose custard is most like the stuff you buy from the supermarkets.

So, first of all, meet your ingredients.

-HE CLUCKS

-Your first task is to separate the whites from the yolks.

So you need to make a machine that can do that very quickly.

Please, get cracking.

In the bucket are 60 eggs,

but it's only the yolks they need to make their custard creamy.

My factory foremen, Marty and Tod, are here to help.

-Marty.

-Yes.

-It's custard. The mission is, we've got five dozen eggs...

-Yes.

..we've got to crack them as quickly as possible, separating the whites from yellows.

We're going to take the eggs and take a blade

-and we'll go tweak, and chop the bottoms off...

-Right.

..and we'll separate them out but - and this is the good bit -

-we're going to do them all at once.

-You're joking.

-One hit.

Tod's plan is a little more modest.

Separate the two, classic way of doing it,

it's almost like a cattle grid, you slide it down some thin rods,

and the yolk will just slide over the top and skid down into one pot.

-Clever.

-Yeah, and the whites will drop through the cattle grid...

-I'm liking this.

-..and go into another pot.

-OK. Let's do it, I like that idea.

Cracking and separating the eggs is only the first step

towards the really big challenge - making lump-free custard.

For proper top-quality custard,

the supermarkets use up to 10% egg yolk.

That's three egg yolks in a tub like this.

Tod and Marty have come up with two mechanical methods

to crack and separate their eggs.

They're both copying real factory methods.

The eggshell is delicate, so it requires some precision engineering.

Tod, what is this for?

-It's our egg separator. Obviously.

-It's a clothes drier.

At the moment.

Foods we prefer to buy ready-made

are the ones which are tricky to make at home.

Once they've cracked those eggs open,

they've got to make custard with no lumps,

and that can be quite difficult.

Now, egg is traditionally the key ingredient in custard.

It has an amazing thickening effect.

So, in there is egg and sugar, and I'm going to pour in some hot milk.

All you do is put it back on the heat,

gently stir,

and it should begin to thicken.

This is also the tricky bit.

If you get it wrong, heat it up too quickly, the whole lot curdles.

You have to chuck it away and start again.

It's curdled a bit.

That's curdled a lot!

So, this is what happens if you cook it too quickly.

Scrambled egg in milk. Not nice.

This is why it's so much easier to buy custard ready-made.

So now it's time to separate the egg yolks from the egg whites,

making sure no shell ends up in the custard.

What on earth is going on here?

It's very exciting. We've got this suction thing here,

where we're holding the eggs in place,

so we're not going to get the shell

-when we've separated the eggs down here.

-Ah, OK.

Then they come through here, and incredibly efficiently,

we are going to slice the eggs.

Then the egg fluids, if you will, comes down here,

and this is our separator,

which was formerly a kind of clothes drier.

Please start your production line.

Go, go, go, go, go!

There we go, the egg innards are speeding down.

Yes! Go on.

Am I allowed to just give it a little push?

It'll get there. Don't worry. Right, come on, next lot.

No time to wait for them.

Cracking just six eggs at a time,

it's more like mess production than mass production.

Mike and Marty are very excited.

They're hoping to crack all their eggs in a oner.

You can see this tray we've created with the eggs' bottoms sticking out.

My job is to close this, and all the bottoms will be cut off.

-Eggs will flood out into this channel here.

-Then I think you can work out what those holes are for,

because the yolks will be intact. They'll sit in the tray,

and then all the whites will drizzle through this beautiful structure

that Marty has lovingly created, and that should be a yolk-free zone.

I can't see any way on earth that this is going to work. But here we go.

Mustn't stifle innovation in the workplace. Are you ready?

-Three, two...

-Please start you production line.

..one, go!

Oh, that felt good!

Look! Come on!

That's astounding. I'm properly impressed.

Fantastic!

That's a sea of egg yolks, that's exactly what I wanted.

Marty, we have just vaguely impressed Stefan!

'Let's enjoy that EGGS-travaganza again!

Slice, slide, separate!

Genius!

Lucy and Tod still haven't EGGS-actly cracked it,

while Mike and Marty have EGG-celled themselves!

OK. Please stop your production lines.

It's time for quality control.

Let's see how well you've separated yolks. Bring them over.

-There we go.

-Wow! Pretty good.

-Here's my yolks.

-Pretty...

-Average!

Less good.

-There's a slight difference to the quantity here, isn't there?

-Yeah.

-Lucy, how many egg yolks do you have here?

-I have 24.

24. 24 out of 60. Mike, how many yolks do you have?

53. A few broke in the tray, but we got 53, intact, out.

A few eggshells in there?

Um, no, pretty eggshell-free as well, I think you'll find, Lucy.

Now you need to build an industrial-scale blender.

The silky smoothness of your custard will all depend on how well it works.

So, please take your eggs and get back to work.

While Lucy and Mike attempt to guarantee their custard has no lumps,

I'm about to reveal a surprise ingredient

sprinkled on the top of some frozen pizza.

One of these cheeses is a fake cheese.

Grab that little flag there

and put it into the cheese that you think is fake.

-That isn't actually the fake cheese.

-Oh, OK.

You reckon that's a fake? OK.

You reckon that's a fake?

Neither of those are fake cheeses.

-That one there?

-Oh, no, that feels quite real, actually.

THEY LAUGH

-I'm going to go with that one.

-Hey! Very well done. That is it.

Would you find fake cheese in a cheese sandwich,

on a cracker or on a pizza?

-Pizza.

-You reckon pizza?

-Cracker.

-Cracker?

Mum's got it right! Ah, no!

I was hoping you'd get this one. Mums are always right!

This is fake cheese.

Fake cheese is an artificial cheesy substance.

It's much quicker and cheaper to make than real cheese.

It looks like cheese, feels like cheese...

..but there's absolutely no flavour at all - it's really weird.

You may wonder why you've never spotted "fake cheese"

written on frozen pizza packaging.

That's because pizza makers call it "cheese analogue" -

to put it another way, like cheese, but not cheese.

So to find out what's in this cheap and cheerful cheesy cousin

and how it can hide on some frozen pizza, I'm going to make my own.

So what are the ingredients for fake cheese?

This is pure milk protein powder. And it's completely fat free.

It's the first vital ingredient for making fake cheese.

Full of milk protein but no milk fat,

whole full-fat milk is used to make real cheese.

It's expensive, so the cream is reserved for premium foods

like cream cakes.

So to make fake cheese, they use fat from vegetables instead.

And here's the second crucial ingredient - solid vegetable fat.

Weight for weight, it's about half the price of solid milk fat -

otherwise known as butter.

Just the job. Now I'm ready to start faking it.

Now I've got my two main ingredients - vegetable fat and milk protein -

I need a contraption to cook up this cost-cutting commodity.

Perfect! Apart from that bit!

I'm using kettle elements to heat the tub

which I'm going to fill with water.

That'll do it - it's my cheese vat. Or at least it's my fake cheese vat.

My cheese counterfeit job begins by melting down the vegetable fat.

Now for the milk protein powder.

The milk protein powder and vegetable fat are both cheap ingredients.

But now something even cheaper -

water.

And adding something called an emulsifier

will help mix all these ingredients into a smooth, cheesy goo.

Something is beginning to happen here.

At the sides of the pan,

it's starting to turn a little bit whiter and go a little bit gluey.

Ah! Look at that!

It's like alien matter. Whoo!

It all looks so wrong.

Once it's set, it's time for a cheese-tastic tasting.

Mm!

I've got to taste this, haven't I?

Mm. It doesn't taste of anything. It's like rubbery polystyrene.

It's got everything good about cheese except for the cheesiness.

But that's fine, because this stuff is never really eaten on its own.

Some ready-made frozen pizzas use this stuff as a "cheese extender".

The fake fromage adds some extra chewy texture to the topping.

There's a helping of real cheese for flavour

and to act as cheese camouflage. But how good is my forged formaggio?

It's cheesy - maybe it's mild - it's a little bit bland,

but all the other ingredients give the taste as well.

Yeah, it's weird but that's a normal pizza.

My very own ready-made fake-cheese pizza.

But only our taste testers can decide whether mine

is as good as the shop-bought stuff.

OK, it's pizza time!

So any guesses as to what topping I made out of that pizza?

-Could it be the tomato?

-Not the tomato.

-The cheese?

It's the cheese - top man! Now what does this cheese taste like to you?

-It tastes like normal cheese.

-It tastes nice and making it fake

doesn't make it taste any different.

Guys, can you sense that there's any fake cheese on there?

No, not really. It just tastes like normal dairy cheese.

I think that's a success for me, then!

Back in the barn, One Show experts Lucy and Mike

are attempting their version of supermarket ready-made custard.

We want custard with no lumps, so now they've cracked their eggs,

they've got to mix all their ingredients very carefully.

Those ingredients are cream...

-There we go.

-In it goes, in it goes.

..sugar, corn flour to thicken, and vanilla for flavour.

You won't find any lumps in ready-made custard.

That's because at the factory they use a special process

to blast all the ingredients. It's called "homogenising".

That's the process Lucy and Mike will need their machines to copy.

Lucy and Tod have cannibalised a colander to blast their custard mix.

-Have a look at that.

-OK. It's working! It's happening!

Now Mike and Marty need an ingenious idea

to keep their custard lump free.

We've just got to make it all nice and smooth and we'll use two,

-not one, but two of these beasts.

-Is it like a vacuum cleaner or something?

No, what it is, is this is for emptying your swimming pool.

-This goes in there. The whole thing.

-Really?

Yeah, we put the whole thing. Ploop. And it'll suck it in here -

spinning plate inside, which will make it all smooth.

Let's get pumping and beating, then.

-OK. Start your production lines.

-Right, are you ready?

-I don't know!

-Right, here goes.

Lucy and Tod's spinning colander contraption

uses centrifugal force to suck the custard through tiny holes

and smash up all the lumps.

Look at that - it's a proper custard fountain!

-It's beautiful.

-That's stunning.

Custard tastes silky-smooth when the globules of milk fat are deliciously small and slippery,

but if the milk fat clumps into lumps, it's 'orrible.

Lucy and Mike have come up with two wildly different approaches

to making sure their custard is lump free.

I've no idea which one will work best.

Three, two, one, go.

Homogenising doesn't remove the lumps,

but it makes them really small by blasting them to smithereens,

spreading them evenly through the whole mix.

-Oh, look at that!

-Yes. We have custard.

It does look like we're in a dairy. So should that one be going at the same time to bring it back?

Well, we'll wait until it's all in and then we'll flip it back.

-There we go, that's all through.

-It's like a game of custard tennis.

Yes, it's coming through!

Custard tennis? I quite like the sound of that.

So, whose process will produce the smoothest result?

Will Mike's pumps leave him swimming in lumps?

Has Lucy's colander contraption saved a custard catastrophe?

It's time for quality control.

-Stop production, please, and bring me your custard mix.

-Heavy!

That's the biggest bucket I've ever seen in my life!

With the smallest amount of custard - there's hardly anything in there.

-Back off. OK, that is a lot of custard.

-That's too much.

Let's see if there's any lumps in the mix.

-Delve deeply.

-Yeah, all right.

Let's see how much of this is foam and how much is lumps.

-That's a lump-free zone.

-I think you're right.

I think that's lump free. I think you've done very well.

-OK, Lucy. Let's see.

-I don't think there's any lumps in there.

Foamy again, a little bit foamy, but lump free.

So the next stage is all about temperature control.

And if you get this wrong, your custard won't be fit to sell in the supermarket.

-I had no idea it was this complicated.

-Oh, yeah. OK, back to work.

HE STRAINS

Lucy and Mike's custard still isn't cooked,

so while they get to work, a Food Factory first -

I'm going to discover the secret to a ready-made food

I bet you've never eaten.

Would you ever eat dog food?

-No.

-THEY LAUGH

No, never even consider it.

Did you know that dog food has to be fit for human consumption, by law?

Well, I'd have to be very hungry to eat it.

-Would you be prepared to have a little try of it yourself?

-Yeah, go on, then.

It's a bit like a digestive biscuit.

Every good food factory needs a discerning panel of taste testers.

This factory is no different,

but the taste testers here don't use a show of hands.

Oh, no - they have their own special way of letting the boss know

what they think of the food.

So, Stefan, what do you think, on a scale of one to five?

On a scale of one to five that's horrible. It's a poo!

This doggy doo-doo diagram tells the bosses

just how healthy the dog's diet is.

It's between three and four. It's formed, it's well formed...

It might look like a number two,

but this poo rates an excellent number four.

And that's this taste tester's special way of telling

Chris Fletcher from Crown Pet Foods his recipe is just right.

But surely all this poo analysis is unnecessary -

we all know dogs are served up really disgusting meat.

So we're just going to take a sample of one of the ingredients

that goes into the dog food. I'm really not looking forward to this,

because it could be utterly, utterly gruesome.

-WOMAN SCREAMS

-Eh?

-It's a pile of rice!

-It is.

I was expecting a massive load of carcasses of dead animals!

We all know dogs love to eat meat, so why have I only seen rice?

Wherever they're hiding it, it can't be prime cuts -

after all, this is a dog food factory.

Oh, my...

Is it horsemeat?

Or is it dried blood or something?

Try a smell.

-That's bizarre.

-It certainly doesn't smell like meat, does it?

It doesn't smell meaty. It's kind of fragrant.

-Is that carrot?

-It certainly is carrot.

Come on - show me the meat.

There must be some off-cuts hidden around here somewhere.

-What on earth is that?

-This is pure turkey

and all the meat that goes into pet foods has to be from animals

which have been fit for human consumption.

So it's from the animals that you're getting your meat.

All the ingredients are ground up together then cooked

and shaped into dried pellets.

Now it's almost ready for the taste testers.

Are you going to have a taste of it now?

It's a bit like bran flakes.

So these pellets contain so much more than meat.

In fact, they contain all the nutrition a dog needs.

It can eat them for every meal, every single day of its life

and want for nothing else. They seem to like it,

and I can't think of any ready-made foods that will do the same for us.

Back in the barn, One Show experts Lucy Siegle

and Mike Dilger are making two rival tubs of ready-made custard.

They've cracked and separated their eggs,

and blasted their mix at high pressure to remove all the lumps.

Here it comes.

But now they need to cook and cool the custard

ready for the supermarket.

This stage is critical for food safety.

We all love custard, don't we?

Well, so do bacteria, and if we leave food out in the open

the bugs quickly multiply.

Take a look at this.

This one's been enjoying the sunshine for a few days.

Bacteria multiply quickly in warm conditions.

Oh-ho-ho!

That's why ready-cooked food factories have to be very careful

about temperature control.

Urgh, it stinks.

There's probably loads of bugs in there and if you eat it,

it could well make you sick.

The factory can't destroy all the bacteria,

but they can reduce them to a very low safe level

by using heat to kill them, and cold to stop them multiplying again.

Mike and Lucy's custard mix, which contains milk and raw eggs,

must be gently cooked to reduce the bacteria to a safe level.

OK, Mike, so how are you going to cook your custard?

We're going to use two methods,

the little gas stove down here and this is a wallpaper stripper

which Marty's done a special Heath Robinson-esque adaption here.

This is a copper tubing with lots of tiny holes.

We're going to cook this up like a kettle.

Steam will come out of there, heat it internally.

Just one thing - what about chilling it later?

Come over here, sir. Liquid nitrogen.

I've got some very special gloves.

Look at that. I can't wait to play with that.

This process of precise heating and cooling is called pasteurising.

Lucy and Tod have lined up a hot tub and an ice bath.

Not that high-tech.

OK, Lucy, what's your plan to make this custard safe to eat?

OK, so I'm going to ladle the custard into our contraption here.

The contraption is going into here and then we're going to rapidly cool

in this fabulous heat exchange situation, that I like to call it.

OK, please start your production lines.

Pasteurising won't kill all the bacteria,

but it will knock enough out to make it safe to eat.

Only superheating would kill them all

but that would ruin the flavour.

81.7 - that's perfect.

Heat, heat...

Lucy's desperate to impress with her custard prowess,

but she's spotted a tiny problem.

-Oh, what are they?

-It's lumpy.

-It's lumpy!

-How did that happen?

I don't know.

It doesn't look that lumpy,

but now it must be supercooled fast to stop any bacteria multiplying.

Mike and Marty are using super-chilly liquid nitrogen

at minus 195 Centigrade to cool their custard.

-In it goes.

-Whoa, look at that!

Lucy and Tod are pumping theirs through a bucket of ice.

Argh!

It's one custard calamity after another for Lucy and Tod.

Now they're suffering an embarrassing spillage.

So 50% is on the floor or your trousers?

-Yeah. It's not a look I was going for.

-No, no.

-I feel I'm making a witch's potion here.

-Ow, this is hot.

Stop laughing or crying or whatever you're doing.

-Go, go, go.

-Pull yourself together, Tod!

Mike, Lucy, please package up your products and bring them over here.

It's quality control time.

I'm really looking forward to this one.

Here we go. Oh, my word.

What I'm going to do is pour some into a bowl

and see what it's like as it comes out.

-It's a little bit warm.

-We think people like it like that.

-OK, OK.

-Consistency wise?

Whoa! She pours well. I like that.

-She's a good pourer.

-Let's have a little look at this one.

That is a lot thicker.

OK, let's have a little try of Mike's custard.

Ooh. Tastes very eggy. Not particularly vanilla-like.

It's got a nice consistency. I think you've pulled something off there.

Lucy. So...

-It's unbearable.

-It's disconcertingly warm.

In a food factory, you need to get this chilled really quickly

to stop bacterial growth. Do you know what? That tastes fantastic.

But it's not my decision.

It's time to serve this to our taste testers.

APPLAUSE

May I ask you what you think of that?

-I think it tastes like melted ice cream.

-Really nice.

-Oh, good, good.

I think it's got a lovely, delicate vanilla favour.

-It's a good custard.

-That's music to my ears.

-What do you think?

Oh, the texture's good. Really good.

It tastes subtle, I think the word would be subtle.

-And it tastes nice.

-Thank you so much.

That's the nicest compliment yet!

OK, Mike and Lucy, let's have you, please. It's decision time.

Who thinks that Mike's custard

is most like the custard you buy in the supermarket?

Please raise your hands. 10, 11, 12,

13. 13 votes for Mike's custard.

So, if you think that Lucy's custard is most like the custard

you buy in the supermarket, raise your hands, please. OK, 10, 11, 12.

-Oh! Gutted! Gutted!

-Oh, my word.

-Lucy, I'm afraid your custard needs to go in the bin.

-What a waste.

Mike, you did brilliantly and your custard goes in the basket.

-Guys, a big round of applause for them.

-Thank you very much. Cheers.

-APPLAUSE

Mike's custard was just that little bit smoother than Lucy's so he clinched it,

and what a fantastic egg-cracking machine that was.

From ready-made pizzas to dog food,

they do all the hard work so we don't have to.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd