Low Countries Hairy Bikers' Bakeation

You probably know there are two things that we love in this world...

..Biking and baking.

So, we've decided to combine them...

..In an epic 5,000-mile Bakeation.

This week, we're tackling the Low Countries - the Netherlands...

-Belgium...

-..and Luxembourg.

Three countries, one epic journey.

So saddle up for the next leg of our spectacular...

BOTH: Bakeation!

We're starting the hunt for Dutch baking

in the old fishing village of Volendam.

I hope it's not too frugal!

I hope it's easy to find and all, mate, I'm starving!

I've arranged to meet an old Dutch mate of mine

who I've not seen for 13 years - Eric the Viking.

Here, do Vikings know much about Dutch baking, then?

Well, he always liked pies when I knew him!

# Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside... #

-Will you recognise him?

-Well, he's huge.

-See what I mean?

-That's... Is that him? Ah!

-Hey! Eric! Nice to see you.

-How are you doing?

-How are you, man? I've heard a lot about you.

-You, too.

It's very good of you to meet us.

-We want to know about Dutch baking, and you're the man...

-Baking?

'Looking a bit blank for a man who's lived in Holland all his life.

'Maybe he's suffering from a frugal baking tradition?!

'He doesn't look like it. Now he's going on the offensive...'

-You're not famous, you English, for your cooking, are you?

-Ha!

We could have a bit of a problem!

-They've not changed since the spice wars! How dare you?!

-How dare you?!

'We're going to fall out if I don't find something to eat soon.

'Fear not, my friend, I smell baking. Well sort of...'

-P-p-p... Poffertjes!

-Oh, wow!

-They've got waffles, too.

-Hello.

-All right, you guys.

My English friends are looking for really Dutch things.

-Ah, poffertjes, they're little pancakes.

-Yeah?

-I make it for you.

-Oh, great!

-That'd be brilliant.

Wow! He's fast.

-Look at them all puffing up.

-They're a very nice colour.

-Called poffertjes because they puff up!

-Yeah!

-It smells good, though.

-It does smell good, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

It's nice, you stand, wait for your poffertjes,

-have a bit of a chat...

-Oh, look!

'I know little pancakes aren't strictly baked,

'but they do use some of the same ingredients - flour, eggs and milk.

'Dude, we're clutching at straws here.'

-Poffertjes.

-Poffertjes....

-They're good.

-Shrove Tuesday all over again, isn't it?

'Served with butter and icing sugar, they're a very popular Dutch snack.'

A bit of lemon juice on them, be lovely!

-Don't be shy, you can have mine, too.

-Oh, thank you.

-Nice!

I did pinch yours actually, when you weren't looking.

MUSIC: Radar Love by Golden Earring

It's our second day in the Netherlands,

and we're at the seaside! The sun is shining, the stars are out...

That's Elton John and Bryan Adams, you know.

-So who's she carving now then, smarty pants? The Animals?

-Oh!

We've heard about a great little bakery

on the outskirts of The Hague.

This is Fred's place. Apparently he bakes everything in here by hand,

and that's 120 different types of bread.

-Oh, wow!

-Wow! What a smell!

-Yeah, fantastic.

-Oh, look at the breads.

-We have found good Dutch baking.

Have you seen that? Australian bush bread, Andes bread, muesli bread,

Argentinean bread, walnut bread. It's like a bread library!

-It is.

-Reggae bread. Oh! That's what Bob Marley likes his "jam-in".

Ha!

-Here's the man.

-Yes.

-Fred.

-I'm Fred.

-Fred, I'm Si.

-Very nice to meet you.

-OK. Thank you.

-I'm Dave.

-Hello.

'Fred is famous for his apple pies,

'one of the oldest examples of traditional Dutch baking.'

Now, Fred, we know that you're very busy -

-is there any chance of Dave and I giving you a hand?

-Yes, come on.

-Yeah? Perfect.

-I'd love it, you come! Come on!

Thank you.

-So this is a Dutch traditional recipe, isn't it?

-Yes.

Dutch apple pie. Everybody's heard of that one.

-Yes. Absolutely.

-Real butter...

-No margarine?

No margarine. Only real butter.

What distinguishes the Dutch apple pie from ours is, their recipes

call for lemon juice or zest, which is going into the pastry now.

But interestingly, there's no sugar -

a throwback to their frugal baking tradition, perhaps.

Bakeries like yours are quite special - are they doing well now?

Special pies or bread-making, then you live.

-Yeah.

-Normal bread - gone. Supermarket.

-You know, supermarkets, they do it for, you know...

-Yep.

-It's a good product but there's no love, is there?

-No.

-Supermarkets have taken over, but bakers like you...

-Yeah.

-..are doing incredible bread, exciting bread.

-Yeah.

But we're making exciting pie - not bread.

True - a lovely Dutch apple pie at that.

The apples came first, of course...

Because the idea of pastry only made it here after the Crusaders

brought it from the Mediterranean in the 13th century.

-Cinnamon.

-Cinnamon.

-Yeah.

-Cinnamon, yeah. Classic.

THEY CHUCKLE

You see, that's the great thing about baking, specific measurements!

A bucketful of this, and shovelfuls of that!

'It's not surprising Fred uses so much cinnamon, it's traditional.

'Dutch traders controlled all the cinnamon production

'in the world in the 17th century!'

'I love Fred's pastry-rolling machine - like a mangle for food.

'Every notch down makes it a bit thinner. Genius!'

-Oh, wow! So...

-'And then, we just need to assemble the pie.'

-Oops!

-'He tries his best, you know.'

-Not as neat as yours, Fred.

-Yeah. Oh, it's OK.

'It might once have been frugal,

'but no-one could complain it's not full to bursting with apples now.'

-600!

-Yes. Yep.

-What's this device, Fred?

-This is the bicycle.

-Bicycle!

We call it bicycle. We do it so...

-And...

-So it's like lattice work, isn't it?

-You've got it.

Always strips for the pie.

'You can spot a Dutch pie because they all have the lattice

'pastry top, holding the filling in place but keeping it visible.

'The pie is cooked slowly in a coolish oven for 95 minutes.

'95 minutes? Luckily, Fred's got one ready for us.'

-Oh, brilliant!

-That's it, the Dutch apple pie.

-Dutch apple pie!

-Fabulous.

First, you taste it.

You make it, you taste it.

Oh, that looks good.

-The pastry's come out quite dark.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-It's not burnt, it's just a dark crust.

-Yes. It's OK.

-Oh, it's really good.

-It's, er, Grandmother's apple pie.

-It sounds stupid to say, but it tastes really appley.

-Yeah.

-Big flavours of cinnamon.

-It's gorgeous.

-That's us, we've started in Holland.

-What a great start as well, eh?

-Yeah. Thanks, Fred.

-Thanks, Fred.

-OK, thank you!

I don't know about you, Kingy,

but he's inspired me to do a bit of baking of our own.

Absolutely, mate.

Well, we're heading towards Rotterdam,

and near there is Kinderdijk, where there are shed loads of windmills.

# Like the circles that you find

# In the windmills of your mind. #

# Round like a circle in a spiral Like a wheel within a wheel

# Never ceasing, never turning Like a spinning wheel

# It's the circles that you find... #

Every country has a version of these -

hot cross buns are the closest UK relative.

# ..of your mind. #

Lazybones buns, or...luilak buns.

-Really?

-Or luilak.

-Say that again?

-Luilak!

-That'll do.

-Luilak buns.

Luilak buns are traditionally eaten

the first Saturday before Whitsun,

and it celebrates Luilak Day.

-I haven't made this up, honest.

-No, no, he hasn't.

Young people, they go around in the morning at four o'clock,

making a noise and waking everybody up.

If you don't get up, you're called a luilak or a lazybones,

and you have to bake cakes and treat people.

Now, these lazybones buns became

a celebratory cake for this kind of gig.

Yeah. And...and... Well, that was it really,

I have nothing further to add, because that was brilliant.

Take one pan...

-Milky goes in there.

-Milky. Ja.

-100% Netherlandsh.

-Yesh.

Sugar.

A big knob of Netherlandish butter.

-And these are Krentens.

-No!

-25 grams of krentens.

Currants, to you and me.

"Blanke rosagens."

Sultanas, to you and me.

Now, we need to warm this to blood warm heat.

The usual gig, warm enough to activate the yeast,

but not too hot so you kill it.

Patentbloem...

Strong, white bread flour, and that's what we use,

your patentbloem.

A little bit of salt.

Good sprinkle of cinnamon.

-DAVE COUGHS

-Sorry about that.

The zest of one lemon.

There's not many better things in life

than zesting a lemon on top of a dyke.

'There are moments when being a large bloke comes in handy,

-'like when your cooking buddy needs a wind break.'

-It's a Dutch oven.

Oh, you flame...!

'Not sure I'd be your mate if I set said large bloke on fire, though!

'Away to the windmill to find fire!'

Which gives us 30 seconds for an instrumental break

and a spectacular windmill musical montage sequence.

MUSIC: Windmills Of Your Mind

There are 19 windmills here, you know, mate.

Ooh, windmills reflected in a wing-mirror shot.

Some of them date back to the 1500s...

Nice speedy-up clouds.

And surprisingly, they're not for milling grain,

they're for pumping excess water from the land.

That butter must have been melted by now.

-MUSIC STOPS

-Cut music!

Hm-mmm! Schnacks!

Won't tell 'im!

-Here we are, Kingy!

-What are you eating?

A slice of Edam and a bit of fresh bread.

That's great, that is, isn't it?

Oh!

MUSIC: Windmills Of Your Mind

DAVE WHISTLES

Now, that's just warm, sloppy and full of melted buttery goodness.

The Dutch have a great word for when things are really good.

They say it's "lekker". And if it's really, really good,

they say it's "mega lekker".

Now, to that, a sachet of yeast. Give it a good mix,

and soon the warmth will react with the yeast,

the sugar will feed the yeast,

and it will start to become a living, breathing creature,

a little inhabitant of the windmill.

I think windmills are quite sinister, quite doom-laden.

-I was frightened of them when I was little.

-Windmills, in Barrow?!

-'Just get on with the buns, you, will you?!'

-Look at that,

that's working. Look at it, it's breathing! To that,

-we pop in an egg.

-Looks lovely.

Give it a good mix-up with a fork.

Pour a bit into the middle of the flour...

Then work from the outside in towards the well.

Perfect. Now, mix it well. You'll see it

start to form, but you really need to get your hand in at this point.

So...

-Put that there, and just start...

-Should I, erm...

-flour your surface?

-Would you mind?

We all know what's coming next, don't we, boys and girls?

It has to be kneaded quite vigorously for about five minutes.

Over to you!

'Lazybones buns are traditionally Dutch, aren't they, Si?

'Well, we've got the cinnamon element again

-'and there's nothing extravagant about them.'

-And as usual,

we leave it for an hour and a half for the yeast to work,

until the dough has doubled in size.

'Cue more music and windmills.'

MUSIC: Windmills Of Your Mind

That quantity of dough will translate into eight buns.

'You're meant to eat them on the Saturday before Whitsun,

-'but I reckon they'd be delicious on any lazy day.

-Couldn't agree more!'

Nice and loosely over the top, giving it room to rise.

-We'll just put them in the sun, shall we?

-Why not?

'They need to sit in the warm for 45 minutes.'

ENGINE ROARS PAST

MOTOR STUTTERS

PROPELLER SPLUTTERS INTO ACTION

'And the buns go into the oven until ready to scoff

'by a handy windmill.'

Hee-hee! Lazy days with lazy buns!

-Got some honey.

-Nice one.

-Traditionally, they'd have these

-with syrup, when they were warm, but I think honey's nicer.

-Yeah.

Oh, yes, look at that!

-It's not quite as dark and spicy as a hot cross bun, is it?

-No.

Wildlife round here's amazing and all, isn't it?

-'You know you said you found windmills sinister?

-Yes...

-'We're staying in one tonight.

-Great.'

This is my bedroom. That's where the miller would have slept.

Up the stairs - one, two, three, four, five -

into little cockpit there. And this is Si's room...

Somewhere!

-DAVE LAUGHS

-Somewhere up there is a mattress!

-I'm not going up there!

-'Don't you snore tonight, Myers!

'And don't you sleepwalk! Ha-ha-ha...'

MUSIC: Hocus Pocus by Focus

I can't tell you, dude, how much I've been looking forward to today.

Because we're heading to Bruges,

a city famous for its stunning architecture?

No, dude. No. Because it's a world capital of chocolate!

Chocolate, chocolate everywhere.

MUSIC: Chocolate Man by Guy Davis

We're on our way to see Dominique,

who describes himself as a "shock-o-latier."

Roger, put that camera straight.

He says he likes visitors to his shop to have an open mind.

Sounds like the place for us, Kingy.

-Woo-hoo!

-Oh, here it is.

-Wow!

-Hi. How are you doing?

-Hello, I'm Dave. Very well.

-Dominique. Hello.

-Very good to see you.

I was really looking forward. Please, come.

I've never seen chocolate that has a finish like this, let alone the taste.

I have some chocolates here for you to taste.

As you're real rock and roll guys, I'm sure you've had tequila sauce before in your life?

-We have, yes.

-The tequila give me inspiration to create shock-tails,

-between chocolate and cocktails.

-Ah, nice!

-Yeah?

-So, the idea is you take the pipette out...

-Yeah.

-You lick on the salt...

-Yeah.

Squeeze the tequila,

and eat a ganache of green lemon.

-Dude, that's cool.

-That is so cool.

Well in that collection, I also make mojitos and caipirinhas

and Bloody Marys.

But the idea is that you really start with the chocolate,

and that's funny.

-Good grief!

-Yeah?

-That's a taste explosion.

But not enough tequila, I'm sure. No?

Not yet. It could do with a bit more.

-It works though, doesn't it?

-Mmm.

This is grass. Grass from the garden.

We make a juice of it, and then I make a white chocolate ganache.

-So, have fun.

-This is ridiculous.

-This is fabulous.

And if you eat it, the colour, it's really green of the grass.

-Wow!

-It's really fresh, huh?

-It works.

-Wow!

Mmm. It tastes like grass smells when you just cut it.

-Yeah.

-Do you know what I mean?

Oh, wow!

-It's the essence of grass, isn't it?

-That is mad.

-Mmm.

It's very important to be open-minded, isn't it?

So open-minded that Dominique has devised a crazy contraption

for sniffing chocolate,

created specially for a party for the Rolling Stones.

-We let them sniff chocolate.

-Sniff chocolate!

Sniff, yeah. They're kinky grandpas and we let them sniff...

"Kinky grandpas"!

And we came up with a mixture with mint, ginger and chocolate.

But we had a little bit more fun. We made a little machine,

two little spoons and when you push... Boom. It goes up. All right?

I'm going to show you how it works. Voila.

So, you get two nostrils at once?

Yeah. Well, we call it also the Easter eggs for the Weight Watchers.

LAUGHTER

I show you how it goes, yeah? It's very easy.

One, two, three...

And in the beginning, you really have the mint.

Ah! And the ginger. That opens your nose.

Yeah. And then it goes down and you have chocolate,

and then you bring in the dessert.

-Are you going to try it, no?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah!

-Oh, OK.

One, two, three...

-Is it better?

-Yeah.

One, two, three...

-I have got chocolate.

-Yeah.

-It's in here. That's mad, man.

-It takes 15 minutes.

Oh, wow! You know what this means, don't you?

You can eat your snot!

-You are a complete genius.

-It's fantastic.

I mean, it's really, really very special.

Thank you so much for sharing it all with us, Dominique.

-No problem.

-Thank you.

-Thank you so much.

Day five, and we're still in Belgium.

Do you know we've got a whole other country to get to by tomorrow?

Don't worry my friend, I have a cunning plan.

I hate it when you say that.

We'll head to Brussels now, Belgium's esteemed capital,

and we'll stop off and start our final recipe.

But it's a dish of many parts,

so we'll finish it off in Luxembourg tomorrow.

How does that sound?

Complicated. I'll just follow you.

And anyway, what's with the shiny silver balls, dude?

Paris has the Eiffel Tower, London has Big Ben,

Brussels has the Atomium.

Ah! I get it. It's a giant atom type thingy.

It was built for the World Fair in 1958.

It's now Brussels' most visited tourist attraction.

The Rieslingspaschteit, an amazing submarine shaped pastry treat

I discovered last time I was in Luxembourg.

Shouldn't that be "Reesling" made with Reesling wine?

I know it should be "Reesling" but just look how it's spelt.

The first step is to make the pastry.

# Dun, dun, dun, dun, dah! #

-Now you know, like! short, rich pastries.

-Yeah.

-Cor, this one takes the biscuit.

-Oh!

-Good, that.

-Hey, hey! Boom, boom!

Did you know that pastry pies probably originated in Europe?

-Not here, but Ancient Greece.

-I didn't.

And did you know that the pastry on pies,

and I'm talking in Medieval times,

was just a storage container and was mainly inedible.

Well, ours will be far from inedible.

It will be a buttery delight.

The butter and eggs in the pastry will make it yellow and golden,

like the Archduke of pies.

I'm going to get my hands in it,

and just gently bring it together, I think.

-That's perfect, isn't it?

-Pretty good.

It's funny with pastry, because if you keep working it,

it ends up releasing the gluten, which also makes it tough.

So, if you're making a pastry, like for samosas, or a thin pastry,

you want to release the gluten.

But this, we want it crumbly, not stretchy.

-Just pop it in the fridge.

-Yeah.

-Where's the fridge?

-A chip stand, at the friterie.

-Is that a good time for lunch, then?

No, we've got to make the filling. The longer the filling stands,

the tastier your Rieslingspaschteit is going to be.

Fair enough, dude, fair enough.

Now, there's an incentive to get on with the filling.

Could you put it in the refrigerator for me?

What you eating?

-Chips! They're brilliant.

-Are they?

-Yeah.

Lunch.

Take one medium onion and chop it as finely as is humanly possible.

Oh, David, that, my friend,

is finer than the underarm hair on a butterfly.

And do the same with a couple of carrots.

They need to be chopped finely,

so that they cook with the meat in the pie.

You know, Si, it's times like this I think of my dear old Dad,

long since deceased.

You know, he'd sit there on the sofa and he'd say,

"Why do I pay my bloody licence fee for?"

"To watch that tub of lard chop an onion." Sorry, Dad!

The veg goes into the bowl with the rest of the ingredients -

minced beef and nice, fatty minced pork.

-A great combination.

-Then, some seasoning.

Dried marjoram and chopped parsley add to the flavour.

-Oh, it smells fabulous.

-Doesn't it?

Brandy goes in at this stage.

The Riesling wine which gives the pastry its name

will go in tomorrow, in the jelly.

Now, the other thing to mention is, it's very, very important,

if you can, to leave this for as long as you can,

-preferably overnight.

-Yeah.

Because it gives the flavours time to amalgamate,

to complement each other. To balance, to love.

Now, pop this into the fridge for all those flavours to infuse.

Mmm.

I'll go and see my friend. I might get some more chips.

Right. I'm coming.

Whoa! Look at this.

Well, it would be criminal to come to Belgium

and not partake of frites.

-May I dip your Andalusian?

-Please do, dear heart.

Frites and mayo, proper Belgian!

Healthy lunch consumed, it's on with the pies.

Oh! It's been a happy hour in the chip shop.

It has. Thank goodness for refrigeration, is all I can say.

The flavours are maturing and the dough's set.

We need six equal bits of chilled pastry,

and six equal balls of filling.

-They are quite substantial.

-Northern portions again.

Now, we need to form this into a little brick shape.

This is flying without a parachute, this, you know?

Trying to roll out pastry in weather like this.

Go on, mate, go on!

But assuming you're making this in a nice, cool kitchen,

roll the pastry quite thinly.

So, now we have the fabric of the pie, the submarine.

All we need now is to pop in the crew.

One crew.

This wonderful, aromatic brandy,

marjoram-infused, porcine loveliness.

SI LAUGHS

Eggy wash will glue it all together.

Then wrap the meaty crew up toasty warm in their pastry sub.

-Short ends first.

-Nice.

-We roll this over.

-It's a minter.

-Seal it with egg.

Now, this is going to be the rough side.

-So, that's your presentation side.

-Look at that.

-This is where it gets good. Right?

-Right.

We make SUBMARINES!

Now, every submarine needs a conning tower.

Hang on, mate, I know you're concentrating.

-I'm making a pastry tower.

-I know.

But we seem to have drawn a bit of a crowd.

But we're not the tourist attraction,

it's the big silver balls behind us that they want.

I know. But what's Chinese for "it's behind us"?

You cut a little hole.

Excuse me! Yeah.

My pastry's melting. Do you know what, madam?

For such a small person, that is a very large lens.

-Do you ever wonder...

-What?

-..that your life's gone really eccentric?

-Yeah. Constantly, dude.

The conning tower isn't just a decorative whim,

it's where we'll be able to pour the Riesling wine jelly tomorrow,

once the pastry is baked and cooled.

-Sweet.

-Nice. Thank you very much.

What a lovely lady. What a nice lady.

The eggy wash will turn the submarines a lovely rich golden brown colour in the oven.

In 45 minutes, they'll be done,

but they'll need to cool, so we'll come back to them tomorrow.

Our Chinese friends are leaving and we need to get on the road, too.

We've got a three hour drive to our third and final low country -

the tiny Luxembourg.

It's our last day in the Low Countries.

We've reached our destination of Luxembourg.

All we need to find now is a suitable location

to finish our Riesling pastries.

Somewhere suitable, somewhere like a Riesling vineyard.

These look very much like vines to me.

-Hang a left here, Dave.

-Right you are.

-No, left!

Now, people ask,

"How do you carry all that kit with you when you are away?"

Our magic panniers!

Voila!

Look at that. Look at those, man.

Those little torpedoes of meat pie love. The Riesling pasty.

The funnel of love.

Our submarines have been left to cool overnight,

so the meat will have shrunk away from the pastry,

leaving room for the Riesling wine jelly.

Whilst the wine warms through, four sheets of gelatine

go into the water for a few minutes,

to become all flaccid and jelly-like.

Look at that. Lovely.

We went to this great cook shop in Holland,

and we found these remarkable disposable funnels.

So we thought, "This is just the job, isn't it?"

There you go. Like that. See?

And then just fill your little funnel up.

Just gently, gently, catchy monkey.

Gently, dear heart. That's it.

Just drizzle it in and let it find its own way.

And that's going to set around that lovely meat.

Yeah, it's perfect, Kingy, just keep it dribbling.

What I love about these funnels though,

-they're so hygienic too aren't they?

-Oh, very.

-And now, abracadabra!

-Hocus pocus!

-Izzy wizzy!

-Piff, paff, poof!

-Shazam!

-Oh, I can't think of any more, me.

No worries, they're all ready. Let's get offski.

-We made the pastries in Brussels.

-Yeah.

-We're in a vineyard,

-topping them up with Riesling wine jelly in Luxembourg.

-Yeah.

All we need to find now is to find somewhere equally fabulous in which to eat them.

And do you know what, mate?

I think you and I know the very place.

Pastries safely stowed away...

-Safely?

-OK, pastries stowed away.

We're off to our ultimate and final destination.

Careful on those corners, Kingy. We've precious cargo on board.

We're heading to the beautiful little cobbled town of Vianden.

It looks like we're going a long way on the map,

but the whole country is only 51 miles top to bottom,

so it shouldn't take long.

-HIS VOICE WOBBLES:

-Oh! These cobbles certainly make for an unusual biking experience!

But the main reason for coming here is the stunning Medieval castle.

-Vianden Castle.

-Hey!

It's a bit like fairytale, isn't it?

It is. Do you know what?

-What?

-I reckon we have captured the essence of Luxembourg.

We've got the castle, we've got the sunshine,

and we've got the pastries. Shall we, dear heart?

Oh, yes. Go on. I'm really looking forward to this.

-Wow, look at that.

-Oh! Perfect.

Yes. Oh, it looks...

Well, our pastry's good, Dave.

-It's lovely, isn't it? You can taste the wine.

-It's beautiful.

It's been a good trip this, hasn't it, the Low Countries?

-We've met some bonkers bakers.

-Fantastic.

-Yeah.

And then with Dominique,

you had the most mind-blowing flavours and textures.

It was really cutting edge that, wasn't it?

Don't you think that our cooking's been somewhat, kind of, eccentric, too?

I have to say, most of the Chinese population were fascinated by those.

I am sure they thought we were two fat lads making spring rolls. There you go!

-And it has been good fun.

-Oh, it has, man, I've loved it. Loved it.

Subtitles by Ericsson