Christmas Special Simply Nigella

-DISTANT CROWD:

-Three, two, one!

CHEERING

# Everyone's a kid at Christmas time

# Holly, jolly kid at Christmas time

# Everyone from Maine to Baton Rouge

# Got the news, even Scrooge! #

This explosive demonstration of seasonal excess is

how they do Christmas in Kansas City in the US.

I'm here for one reason but it's a very compelling one for me,

as I'm sure you'll understand, because I'm in Kansas city

and it is the fairy light capital of the world

and I can't think of a better way of making myself feel fully festive

than by immersing myself in its fabulously immoderate illuminations.

FIREWORKS EXPLODE

When I'm not going all-out for an American celebration,

I do want to embrace their exuberant approach to the season.

Christmas, after all, is much more than just one day!

For my own homespun affair, I'll be looking beyond turkey

to dishes that delight without being difficult.

And taking the Kansas City illuminations as my inspiration,

my Christmas Eve supper this year will be even more fabulously

festooned with fairy lights than ever.

A bolstering cocktail made with bourbon should warm things up.

Happy Christmas.

Happy Christmas.

On the menu is my slow-cooked black treacle ham,

alongside a sweet soused potato and pepper bake...

There you are.

..and a rainbow coleslaw with all the brightness of

a flickering fire in winter.

OK, and also I've got pickles, beetroot,

pickled beetroot, pickled carrots.

As my grand finale...

Ah!

..a cake that's pretty much an institution at American celebrations,

the fancy-formed but simple-to-make bundt.

In fact, there are going to be three of these beauties,

each one differently and aromatically-flavoured.

Well, as Mae West said, "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!"

Delicious!

# Everyone's a kid at Christmas time

# A holly, jolly kid at Christmas time

# Everyone from Maine to Baton Rouge... #

# There's a very good reason

# Why the holiday season

# Is a wonderful time for a boy and girl

# To fall in love... #

I first came to Kansas City about five years ago and, I have to say,

I had no idea about its spectacular light show here at Christmas.

Had to come back, obviously,

because I needed to revel in a bit of seasonal sparkle.

# Kissing by the mistletoe

# Tingle, tingle

# Tingle, tingle... #

When it comes to festivities,

our transatlantic friends truly know how to celebrate,

be it with the lustre of lights,

or their enthusiastic approach of seasonal eating!

Hello, can I have a macchiato and one of those?

-Absolutely.

-Thanks.

I've always been inspired by the American baking tradition

and a bundt cake is big stateside,

even when they're little ones like this.

And the name itself doesn't refer to a special sort of cake,

it's the tin it's baked in, which is quite ornate, often fluted,

with a central funnel, so it's hollow here.

And there's something, even when it's a sweet little one like this,

that's so beautiful, that it just gives

a celebratory flourish effortlessly.

My cider and five-spice Bundt is the edible essence of Christmas.

It's got the aromatic richness of a gingerbread,

but the lightness of a cake.

It also happens to be a doddle to make.

It's just a question of mixing dry ingredients into wet ingredients

and I'm starting with the dry ingredients.

I've got 300g of plain flour here and I'm adding two teaspoons

of baking powder and a quarter teaspoon of bicarb.

And now the spices.

Obviously I'm majoring on five-spice.

I'd expect to find star anise, cinnamon, cloves,

Sichuan pepper and fennel seeds in five-spice

but I have... SHE CHUCKLES

I have found some with garlic in.

It's better not to use it for this cake, although a friend of mine did

and she said it tasted just fine.

So I want two and a half teaspoons of the five-spice

and, although there is cinnamon in five-spice,

you can't have too much cinnamon at Christmas for me.

So I'm adding a teaspoon and a half.

Nutmeg has such a gentle scent but it still makes itself heard

and I'm adding a lot.

Were I to measure it, I'd say half a teaspoon.

Got my festive fork to mix these together.

It's already smelling good.

So that's the dry ingredients done.

Onto the wet.

I want 175 mls of sunflower oil or any vegetable oil.

100g of soft dark sugar and I know sugar is not a wet ingredient,

but it just absorbs more evenly into the cake this way.

I want 250mls of gleaming, glossy black treacle.

I've oiled the cup so it will slip out more easily.

I love its darkness.

I know I've got a lot of dry spices,

but I want the fresh warmth of ginger.

I'm going to grate in a lot.

About three centimetres, 15g.

Now for the cider.

250mls and it marries so well with all the spices.

And three eggs.

And now I'm ready to get mixing.

And into this dark pool, I will add my dry ingredients...

the festive fork giving way to my seasonal spoon.

This is so easy to make, as you can see,

but you'd never guess that from looking at the cake.

One last spoonful of spice-speckled flour.

Time to pour this into the tin.

I oiled the tin very generously and let it sit upside down

so the excess dripped off.

It's very important you oil well, getting into all the crevices

and especially the funnel.

Makes unmolding so much easier.

And it is very liquid, but it's meant to be.

It's this that makes the cake so gorgeously tender.

It smells of Christmas even before it's been baked.

And this goes into an oven at 170 degrees for 40 or 50 minutes.

I like to make my tin work for its living,

so there are a couple of other cakes I make in it.

I've got my mellow Bundt cake and my fragrant tangy lemon and thyme cake.

The mellow pumpkin version is made in much the same way,

though it uses soft light brown sugar instead.

And I add the zest and juice of an orange to add a gentle zing

to the sweet richness of pureed pumpkin.

I use tinned, but you could steam and puree some butternut squash

if you want to make your own.

This time, I freckle the flour with cinnamon and allspice.

What all three cakes have in common is they're very simple to make

and they can be baked in advance.

But they do have very different flavours and characters.

I think of my cider and five-spice cider cake as my brunette bundt

and I think of the pumpkin cake as my redhead bundt

and the lemon and thyme bundt is my blond one.

And I begin my blond Bundt with unsalted butter,

creaming it with lemon zest to extract every bit

of the aromatic citrus tang.

And I want the sweet woodsy scent of thyme,

which may sound strange, but it doesn't overwhelm, it charms.

I then whisk in the sugar and when I have a light

but gorgeously scented mixture, I beat in the eggs.

There's enough flavour already in the bowl, so I've added nothing

to the flour this time but bicarb and baking powder

and I beat this in gradually, alternating with buttermilk,

though you can just as easily use runny yoghurt.

# There's a little bit of Christmas in the air

# There's a little bit of Christmas in the air

# There's a little bit of Christmas in the air

# And it feels so nice... #

On the day of my party, I'll ice the cakes at the last moment,

just before my guests arrive.

But I have an additional accompaniment

to my cider and five-spice cake,

which adds gleam and utter gorgeousness.

My salted caramel sauce is supremely indulgent,

which makes it ideal for this time of year.

I'm starting modestly enough with 75g of butter

and then 50g of caster sugar...

..followed by 50g of soft light brown sugar.

And just in case you thought that wasn't enough,

50g of golden syrup.

Love this stuff.

I want this to start melting gently.

So I'll give it a little swirl.

If you stir a couple of tablespoonfuls of this into a mug

of hot milk with melted chocolate,

you have a salted caramel hot chocolate.

And now I'm going to turn the heat up a bit

and pour in 125ml of double cream.

Now so far, good though it is, it is just a caramel sauce

and I need to have a salted caramel sauce.

You can use any soft sea salt flakes,

but I feel like a touch of Christmas fireside

so I'm using smoked sea salt.

I've always been mad about salted caramel and I don't care what

fashions and fads come and go, I'm not going to change my mind.

Let's see if I've got enough salt in there.

You have to be careful not to burn your tongue.

I want a bit more.

And you know what?

It's Christmas, I'm going to add a splosh of bourbon.

You see, even the sauce is excited about that.

That's had enough now.

Swirl it a bit so it stops bubbling.

I'm going to leave that to cool

and when it is, and when the cake is iced, I am going to fill up

these little bottles and dot them around my Christmas table.

For me, Christmas is also all about the condiments

and I like to make sure I've got enough in the house

to last the distance and make the table sing with possibilities.

I have diagnosed myself with a condition I call torsa-mania -

that's to say an obsessive need to pickle.

But the thing is, it's quite useful at this time of year,

because pickles make great presents

and I like to have as many as possible on my Christmas table.

My Thai pickled peppers, well, you don't need a recipe to make them.

All you need to know is that, for one part chopped long red chillies,

you need two parts of rice vinegar.

And my quick pickled beetroot is fabulously festive.

I peel raw beetroot and cut it into matchsticks.

And making the pickling liquid is a cinch.

Just some cider vinegar, though you could use white wine vinegar, too...

..together with an equal amount of water.

For sweetness and spice, ginger syrup,

and you can use the syrup from a jar of stem ginger for this,

or else some honey and fresh ginger.

On top of that, some sea salt flakes...

..and the gentle lemon-scented pepperiness

of my culinary namesake, nigella seeds...

..and finally, the herbal fragrance of bay leaves.

As soon as this bubbles up,

I pour it over the strands of burgundy beetroot.

And wonderfully, this is ready to eat just as soon as it's cold,

though it can be stored in jars to be brought to the table

throughout Christmas.

And my quick pickled carrots,

well, they're made in exactly the same way,

only, instead of the ginger syrup, I use honey

and instead of the nigella seeds, I use mustards seeds, fennel seeds

and cracked cardamom pods.

An ooze of honey joins the bay leaves

in a pan of cider vinegar, water and salt...

..plus mustard seeds for punch

and the resonant, fragrant note of fennel seeds.

Then an ancient taste of the east with the smoky scent of cardamom.

Once this aromatic liquid has boiled, I just pour it over

a bowl of carrots, which I've cut into matchsticks,

and I leave this to cool.

As with the beetroot pickle,

this can be eaten as soon as it's cold or left for later.

And now these pickles, with their crunch and tang,

are on seasonal standby.

# It's an evil wind

# That blows no good, yeah

# It's a sad heart

# That won't love like I know it should... #

Now, I've got an idea for a drink.

Like a negroni... SOUND FADES

-# Oh, how lonesome...

-Oh, how lonesome...

-# You must be...

-You must be...

# It's a shame... #

The first time I came to Kansas City,

I watched the lights for hours and hours from a rooftop

and I got pretty freezing,

but I managed to warm myself up with a glass of local bourbon.

Now I'm back, so I want to celebrate that by making a cocktail using it

and I'm thinking of calling this "Kansas City Christmas" and why not?

I think it should contain one part bourbon to one part Campari

and one part red vermouth. Sounds perfect to me.

# And there's no-one blinder

# Than you won't see

# It's a shame... #

Thank you.

And, rather appropriately, I feel lit up from within!

# I can't help it, oh, no... #

# Have yourself a merry little Christmas

# Let your heart be light

# From now on, our troubles will be out of sight... #

This time of year is not just about party food,

but the calm celebration of home comforts.

When it's cold outside, I like to huddle up with a bowl

of something warm and my spiced parsnip and spinach soup

is just what I want on a chill night.

It's gorgeously, cosily aromatic and very seasonal.

# Hang a shining star upon the highest bough

# And have yourself... #

And, importantly for this time of year,

I can get this on the table in minutes.

It delivers almost instant bliss in a bowl.

I start by peeling and chopping that seasonal stalwart, parsnips...

..and cook them in hot vegetable or chicken broth.

To give the broth a boost, I toss in a clove of garlic.

Then, as soon as it comes to a bubble,

it's on with the lid and down with the heat.

So my parsnips slowly simmer until soft

and the broth is filled with their earthy sweetness.

# Faithful friends who are dear to us

# Travel near to us... #

And then I add some frozen leaf spinach,

which turns it a glorious green and balances the sweetness of the soup

with its ferrous tang.

The warm flavours of coriander, cumin, cardamom, cinnamon,

cloves and pepper come courtesy of a teaspoon of garam masala.

# Here we are, as in olden days

# Happy golden days of yore... #

Then a quick blitz with a stick blender is all it needs

to turn this into a rich and velvety emulsion that soothes and uplifts.

# Through the years, we all will be together

# If the fates allow

# Have yourself a merry little Christmas... #

And then I can enjoy the fruits of these rather minimal labours.

# ..merry little Christmas... #

# Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

# Jack Frost nipping at your nose

# Yuletide carols being sung by a choir

# And folks dressed up like Eskimos... #

You find me very happily in the country that brought us

the chocolate chip cookie and I have to say, at this time of year,

I really enjoy a spot of cookie baking.

What I really like to do is make up a batch of the dough in advance

and then, the minute people pop in, I just put the cookies in the oven,

and there I am, with a cup of tea and some warm gooey cookies.

And what I have in mind are not just ordinary chocolate chip cookies,

but my triple chocolate buckwheat cookies

and the buckwheat flour brings such smokiness and intensity of flavour.

I've got my buckwheat flour here, 125g of it,

and on top goes half a teaspoon of bicarb.

I'm adding half a teaspoon of salt, that's fine sea salt,

and the first of the three chocolate ingredients,

25g of cocoa.

If it's lumpy, then you should sieve it, but luckily, this isn't.

Fork these together.

The rich cocoa is wafting up at me very invitingly.

Now I just need to cream the butter and sugar.

60g of soft butter there.

And I want 125g of soft dark sugar.

I'll mix them together, which is really what creaming is,

just making them soft and light.

So you can see, it's a rather wonderful rich, dark caramel colour.

Now a teaspoon of vanilla paste, like this, or vanilla extract.

And now I'm ready for the second of my chocolate components,

some glorious dark chocolate, 125g,

that I've melted and let cool slightly.

PIANO "OH, CHRISTMAS TREE" PLAYS

Look at it rippling out.

A lot of it - and that's why these are so good.

I need two eggs, fridge-cold.

And the reason I use fridge-cold eggs

is that it means I don't have to put the batter into the fridge

before shaping the cookies.

So wonderful and satiny.

I am going to thicken it up by adding the dry ingredients.

I think, to avoid an "I Love Lucy" moment,

it's better to fold the dry ingredients in a bit first.

Diving in.

Mmm, wonderful chocolate fug.

I was getting hypnotised there.

Right, chocolate-wise, I'm achieving the triple

with the addition of some chocolate chips and I love these little ones,

and they have been kept in the fridge so that they keep

their shape and you just get nuggets of molten chocolate when you eat.

Just fold them in.

Now I'm ready to mould this mixture haphazardly into cookies.

I say mould, but it's really more dolloping.

I like to leave them quite heaped.

It helps give that wonderful texture

that's a cross between a brownie and a cookie.

I was going for uniformity,

but I think that is a quest I will have to give up.

They need 9-10 minutes in an oven at 180 centigrade

and then the important thing is to let them stand

on the warm tray out of the oven, keeping their shape.

When they come out, you will think they're underdone.

They won't be, they will be squidgy and divine.

That lot are headed for oven and this lot are headed for the freezer.

I freeze these on the tray as they are and then, once they're set,

I stash them into sealed freezer bags

and then I just add one minute onto the baking time.

So into the freezer with these...

and into the oven with those.

And with a batch to eat and a batch to keep, I am sweetly set.

# Oh, windows are lighted

# With bright coloured candles

# The spirit of Christmas is here

# With all of its gladness... #

This place is all about Kansas City barbecue

and, in particular, something called "burnt ends".

Now, what these are, are the pointy tips and edges

of beef brisket that have been blackened and made sweetly tender

in the smoker.

This is not something I'd attempt at home,

but I am aiming for the same deep flavours with my Christmas Eve ham.

All I do is pour over some gleaming black treacle

and, as with Kansas City barbecue, cook it low and slow.

But, unlike barbecue, it simply takes care of itself

and, when I bring it to the table, it is just gorgeously darkened,

rich and caramelised.

# Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?

# In the lane, snow is glistening

# A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight... #

'Thinking ahead to my Christmas Eve supper,

'I want to make this as easily enjoyable as possible.

'No-one wants to add to the seasonal stress, least of all me!

'Really, this just means I do a little pleasurable pottering

'in the kitchen ahead of time

'and then I can sit back and celebrate when my friends come over.

'The evening itself is an informal feast, but a feast nonetheless.'

'A burnished ham, crisp potatoes and a colourful coleslaw.'

There you are, more on the table.

-Happy Christmas.

-ALL:

-Happy Christmas!

I hope Santa will bring you everything you want.

For my baked ham, I need a large gammon joint with the rind on.

All I do is pour over some gleaming black treacle.

I find the rich and slightly bitter molasses flavour

a perfect partner to the salty sweet meat.

And then I parcel it up in three layers of silver foil

so that it rather resembles my rather shoddy Christmas wrapping.

I blast the ham in a very hot oven for half an hour

and then turn it right down and leave it for hours and hours...

for at least 12, though up to 24 would be just fine

at this low, low temperature.

And while it sweetly steams in its Christmas wrapping,

I can ignore it and just throw myself headlong into the festivities.

# When the temperature dips

# I miss my baby's arms

# His tender fingertips

# Knows just how to... #

What I really love with the sweet tender ham

is the tang and crunch of my red cabbage slaw.

# ..with the snow falling down

# But I've got warm and tender love... #

A slaw might not be the most orthodox accompaniment,

but it really works, and the vibrancy of this tangle

of shredded veg just lights up the table.

Since it's Christmas, I go for a red cabbage.

# ..how much joy and pleasure, baby

# Can one guy bring me? #

And I bring in the flame colours of red, orange and yellow peppers.

All of which I slice as thinly as I can.

I'm willing to concede that my festively-toned take on coleslaw

does necessitate something of a slicing marathon,

but the zing in each sprightly mouthful more than makes up

for the effort, and you could always use a processor.

For just a little fire, a deseeded chilli, finely chopped.

# I've had my share of guys

# But he's been the only one... #

I adore the fresh flavours and crunch of the raw veg here.

# ..make my temperature rise

# Things are just not the same... #

And I go all out for the uncompromising earthiness

of freshly chopped coriander.

# I shouldn't complain

# But be waiting with my arms open wide... #

Finally, I strew it with slivered strips of spring onion

and then toss it colourfully together.

# How much joy and pleasure, baby

# Can one guy bring me? #

To bring my slaw to sharp life, I have a sweet-sour dressing

made simply with some pineapple juice from a carton

spritzed with the acid hit of lime.

# But be waiting with my arms open wide

# It may be winter outside

# But in my heart, it's spring

# How much and pleasure, baby

# Can one guy bring me?

# It may be winter outside... #

A trickle of toasted sesame oil for that characteristic nuttiness...

# How much joy and pleasure, baby... #

..followed by maple syrup which provides a smoky sweetness

that offsets the sharpness.

I season with salt and briefly whisk everything together.

I then pour this light but lively dressing

over my tangle of cabbage and peppers.

So that I don't get the slaw all over the kitchen surface,

I try and toss everything together as calmly and slowly as I can...

although patience is not one of my virtues.

And the good thing about this is that you can leave everything in

the dressing for a couple of hours without the salad losing its crunch.

Just before serving,

I sprinkle over some more freshly chopped coriander

and it's ready to go.

# Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling, too

# Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you

# Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo-hoo

# Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you... #

The star of this year's seasonal shindig, my slow-baked ham,

has more than one supporting act.

My potato and pepper bake is greed gratifying and gloriously low-effort.

I've peeled and chopped a great number of potatoes

and they need to be transferred to a pan.

And I know that's a lot potatoes to peel and chop,

but there is nothing to do from here on in...

Well, I do have to open some jars.

..because what I do is bake these potatoes

with a couple of jars of char-grilled peppers in oil...

..the sort that come for antipasto.

Coriander seed has a faintly orange scent

which feels fabulously festive.

And the thing is, as the potatoes bake, they become soused in

the sweet pepper oil and the pointy bits at the edges are all crisp.

All I need to do is toss these together

and I find these so great to make when I've got a lot of people over

because they're as good at room temperature

as they are piping hot straight from the oven.

So these go into a good and hot oven for about an hour

and then they can just sit until I need them.

And as the time for my party draws nearer,

all I need to do is unwrap my Christmas Eve ham

and burnish it with a treacly glaze.

The great unveiling and don't worry, I've got asbestos hands.

It's like playing pass the parcel.

Ah.

I could have this smell as a scented candle so happily.

And you can see that because it's been cooked so slowly

and wrapped so tightly in foil, there's very little shrinkage.

That's good because I like to have a lot of hot ham

and then enough for leftovers.

And that wonderful pool of treacly juices,

I will spoon out later

and then drizzle over the ham as I carve it.

And while that sits, I'm going to get on with the glaze,

it's such a simple affair.

No heating, just stirring together.

I've got some demerara sugar there, which gives gorgeous crunch.

Want some Dijon mustard.

And again, some black treacle.

And, as I said, just stir together.

MUSIC: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Before the ham can make its glorious and glossy entrance,

all that's needed is a little rind removal...

..which means cutting away the skin until a layer of fat remains.

Then I do what my mother always did to her baked ham,

which is score the fat into diamond shapes and stud it with cloves.

I pour the dark glaze over

and put the ham back in a hot oven for 20 minutes.

By which time it is burnished and blisteringly hot.

Once it's on its board it's ready to be brought triumphantly

to the table.

I think nothing brings that Christmas magic

more than the lighting of candles and the sparkle of lights.

At this time of year I do love a lot of people round my table

and I don't worry unduly about how much space there is

because I think everything feels so much more cosy

when people are squeezed together

and it does help conversation flow easily which is so important.

And just as I like plenty of food and plenty of people,

I have to have a lot, and I mean a lot, of tea lights.

And without wishing to sound immodest,

I do regard myself as the queen of the fairy light.

And I don't think that baubles should be consigned just to the tree,

I like to fill jars and bowls with them and dot them around the place.

With the ham resting, my potatoes in the oven

and the slaw sitting patiently,

all that remains is to get my trio of cakes into their party dresses.

Since it's Christmas, I'm going to decorate the bundts,

just ice them I mean,

and for the pumpkin bundt I make a thick, orange-scented icing.

Oranges are always Christmassy, I think.

Because the cakes are different in character, I like to ice them

a bit differently and for the pumpkin bundt I do go a bit bonkers.

I kind of zigzag all over and create anything I feel like.

And once the icing is on but before it sets hard,

I grate over some dark chocolate.

I make a thinner icing for the lemon and thyme bundt.

I spoon this icing down the ridges of the cake

and I let some spill down into the funnel.

The icing doesn't stay visible for long but it's important it's there -

not only is its lemoniness wonderful,

but also it means the thyme leaves I scatter over stick.

I use my salted caramel sauce, cooled and thickened,

to dress my cider and five spice bundt.

I spoon this richly down the ridges of the cake,

although it's also wonderful just served alongside.

And now there's nothing left to be done,

other than get the party started!

CHATTER

Right...

I'm going to get pouring.

I'm going to beat you to it.

Thank you!

CHATTER

-Bit of orange.

-Wow.

-Thank you, darling. Cheers.

-William.

-Oh, lovely, thank you.

-Are you pouring?

-Is anyone without a drink?

Right, OK. Cheers.

Merry Christmas.

-Happy Christmas, everyone.

-Happy Christmas.

-Nigella. Chin-chin.

-Happy Christmas.

May Santa bring you everything you want.

LAUGHTER

I'm going to enjoy my shaking.

'While everyone is carousing, I can shimmer off into the kitchen

'to get the ham and the feast can begin in earnest.'

Ta-dah!

Here we are.

Careful, the knife is quite sharp.

Oh, I'll take this for you.

Right, OK, also I've got pickles, beetroot, pickled beetroot,

pickled carrots, pickled peppers.

English mustard.

Here we go.

Thank you, darling.

-There we go.

-Thank you.

OK...

Right...

It's so good.

LAUGHTER

The time has finally come.

Bring on the bundts.

Oh!

OK...

It's not a very delicate knife.

There you are.

Who's not got some lemon and thyme?

He'd love a thing of ice cream here.

# That's what Christmas means to me, my love... #

I'm going to carry on.

# That's what Christmas means to me, my love

-# That's what Christmas means to me

-My love. #

For me, one of the points of a feast is the other feasts it generates

and I'm always made jubilant by the prospect

of conjuring meals from whatever remains from the night before.

# Baby, it's cold outside

# I've got to go away

# Baby, it's cold out there

# This evening has been

# Been hoping that you'd drop in

# So very nice

# I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice

# My mother will start to worry

# Beautiful, what's your hurry? #

There are many ways of celebrating a leftover

and I'll never say no to some thickly-sliced ham squodged between

white bread, some butter, English mustard, pickles on the side.

But I feel like something hot and spicy

so I'm going the stir-fry route and I want a bit of fruitiness, too.

With a touch of Hawaii here with pineapple.

Add some gingembre.

Ginger.

Can't be bothered to peel it.

And some hot chilli flakes.

Just shake them out.

A bit more.

I'm going a bit alternative with my sprouts this year,

they're wonderful stir-fried. I want these thinly sliced.

And it may be winter outside but it's a spring onion in my kitchen.

Look, Christmas is a time for bad jokes.

I think I'm ready to roll.

A taste of the tropical, I'm frying in coconut oil.

It's meant to be so good for us but next year, you know,

it's probably going to be bad for us again.

Hawaii, here I come.

OK, ready for the sprouts.

I want to cook them just till parts are scorched.

They taste fabulous this way.

I feel like the Swedish chef now.

I better stop.

OK.

Right...

hair of the dog.

And that's just how I want them.

I'm not ashamed to say...

..that I use pre-cooked rice

out of a pouch for this. I like the brown basmati.

Right.

Double sprout action...

bean sprouts.

My fiery pineapple.

I feel I could do with sharpening up my act.

Some lime.

Soy.

Bit of fresh coriander and I'm done.

And this is just what I need, bit of carb with rice,

bit of crunch with my double sprout.

Juicy sweetness with the pineapple

and the heat from the chilli and ginger.

The ham awaiteth.

Don't know how I'm going to do this.

OK, don't look at the mess.

You know what? There's something else.

I think this is calling to be topped with a fried egg

but then, what isn't?

I want the egg white crisp at the edges.

Now, I want the egg to straddle the stir-fry and ham.

Comme ca.

Ooh, and you know what?

Some of my pickled peppers.

Mmm.

-Action.

-So now I'm ready to get a-mixing.

SHE LAUGHS

Sorry, I'm just going to wipe myself down.

I want to get every last bit of this valuable mixture.

Oops.

SHE LAUGHS

Such a wonderful, rich, thick mixture.

SHE LAUGHS

OK, here we go, stop there.

Oh!

Oh, blimey.

I also like this stirred into hot chocolate

to make a salted caramel hot chocolate.

That doesn't make sense.

And I cannot tell you how good this sauce is draped over

my cider and...

SHE LAUGHS OK, OK.

And I cannot tell you how good this sauce is draped over

my cider and five-spice bundt.

SHE LAUGHS

OK...

You could cut there, can't you? I didn't laugh straight away.