Episode 2 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off

Hello. Well, Mel and Sue have rather foolishly entrusted

The Bake Off to me today.

Ha! That means I can eat all the cake

and I don't even have to bake anything.

Inside that tent there are four bakers, three challenges, two judges

but there can only be one star baker.

Welcome to The Great Sport Relief Bake Off!

Today, four more celebrities enter the Bake Off arena...

This is like a cake-making masterclass.

Half tempted to take a slug of this to calm my nerves.

..to compete over three heats for judges Paul and Mary...

Found the pastry, Mary!

LAUGHTER

..hoping to raise money for Sport Relief...

# Forget your troubles, come on, get happy... #

..and inspire you to do the same...

Sport Relief is a fantastic cause.

Most people love home baking

so you can bake, sell it and donate the money.

..while battling it out for the title of Sport Relief Star Baker.

-I might be trying to jeopardise you.

-Baking mind games!

And Olympic gold medallist Nicola Adams will be in South Africa

exploring how the money raised really does make a difference.

Today's four Sport Relief bakers entering the tent are

Host of Radio 4's Desert Island Discs and TV presenter, Kirsty Young.

In Dover, Customs & Excise put together a crack team to deal with

a sudden influx of black market sausages.

LAUGHTER

In my house we are such fans of The Bake Off that "The tent" -

you don't even have to say, "The Bake Off tent" - it's just "the tent",

has taken on sort of iconic status, so I think when I walk in

I'm probably going to go a little bit wobbly at the knees.

Australian choreographer and Dancing On Ice judge, Jason Gardiner,

good at handing out criticism...

It's almost like two toddlers being really pathetic around a table

and I wanted to see some more of that tension.

..can he take it?

Really looking forward to the wrath of Paul

because he can be quite formidable.

Actress Jane Horrocks, whose roles include

her award-winning performance in the film Little Voice

and as Bubbles in Absolutely Fabulous.

Looks like a classic bimbo to me!

I mean, it's pathetic, these older women struggling to look 25.

LAUGHTER

Sorry!

I wish I was more of a sports person.

I should really be doing a marathon, but I'm not very good at that

so baking is the next best thing.

And Olympic gold medal winning long jumper and keen home baker, Greg Rutherford.

I do professional sport as my job so I have to be incredibly competitive all the time.

This is a competition at the end of the day,

so I don't want to stand here and say that I want to win, but I do.

Welcome, Sport Relief bakers, to two days of baking tragedy.

I can just tell by looking at you.

For your Signature Challenge,

Mary and Paul would like you to make 12 gingerbread biscuits.

Now what's important about that is they must all be the same size.

If you're looking to butter me up, 18 foot by 12 will be impressive,

and you have an hour and 25 minutes

so on your marks, get set, BAKE!

In the Middle Ages, medieval ladies would present iced gingerbread

to their favoured knights.

The gingerbread mixture can be turned into any shape

so they're a great idea if you're thinking of baking for Sport Relief.

What is this for?

I'm sifting my flour, which I never do at home.

I'm sifting my flour because I'm nervy!

The perfect gingerbread biscuit for me is crispy on the outside,

a little bit soft on the inside,

but I want to see a snap.

And I want to taste that ginger coming through as well.

Hundred and...

fifty.

What, are you doing it in the olde worlde style?

These are my scales. I can't work with the digital.

I need the lemon grass.

There we go, I think that's about right.

It's not going to kill you, is it, too much lemon grass?

Famous last words, probably!

Jason hasn't baked since he helped his grandmother make cakes as a child.

Today, he's flavouring his gingerbread biscuits

with a herb more commonly found in biryanis than baking,

dipped in spiced orange dark chocolate.

Can you tell us what you're doing, please?

OK. I'm doing a chocolate-dipped lemon grass and gingerbread biscuit.

That sounds revolting.

And it probably will taste revolting, too.

I'm only being mean to you because you're quite mean to people on that skating thing, aren't you?

Yeah, but that's when, you know, they're not good.

You're a tough judge?

-I am a tough judge. And so are you.

-You ain't seen nothing yet!

LAUGHTER

Are you finely chopping fresh lemon grass?

How are you putting it in?

Sort of grated and fine powdered.

It smells delicious. I mean, I love the smell of it.

I think it's brave to try something new

and we'll just have to see how it turns out.

I just wish that there wasn't those little flecks in it, like grass.

Hey, you've got to take risks. Right, Paul?

-That's exactly what it looks like.

-A big risk.

-Hey.

They're just round, round biscuits.

Now I haven't brought a cutter or anything, they're just very simple.

Jane's mum taught her to cook as a child

but she finds baking stressful.

Today she's playing it safe by baking a family favourite -

a plain, un-iced ginger biscuit.

Gingerbread. What kind are you making?

They're Barbara Highland's gingerbread.

Who's Barbara Highland?

Don't you know her?!

Does she live in your road?

No, she's my mum's friend.

Is it eggs, syrup, ginger, ground ginger, flour...?

And bicarb, yeah.

-It's my mum's recipe, which...you warmed it all up in a pan?

-Yeah.

It is, it's the same one.

-Do you get on with your mum?

-Really well, yeah.

Oh, right, so you're the winner here, then, if it's his mum's recipe.

But I don't like them, personally.

I don't like a lot of fuss on a ginger biscuit.

I just like a ginger biscuit to be a ginger biscuit.

No, I quite like a cake on top of a ginger biscuit, but...

So are you going to flatten it down with your hand or just pop them in as they are?

She said they've got to be like little tomato shapes, like that,

and then they'll go and they'll spread nicely.

-So you've got an hour to go and play on the swings?

-Yeah!

LAUGHTER

Mine have got a slight twist on them.

They're going to look like soldiers as you would have of an egg, dipped in.

So a bit different. Should be good, though.

You don't get to be an Olympic gold medal winner

without a good breakfast in the morning,

which is the inspiration behind Greg's gingerbread egg and soldiers,

a recipe he first made as a child.

So what are we making, then, on the gingerbread biscuit front?

Mine are going to be cut into, like, fingers,

dipped in white chocolate and coconut mixture,

so give it an idea of looking like it's soldiers freshly out

of an egg, and with a lemon curd dip as well, so...

Crikey!

You're pushing the boat out, Greg!

Do you bake things anyway?

I do, yes, I do a bit at home every so often,

just recreational, just to sort of relax a little bit.

I find it quite therapeutic.

I'm making gingerbread Paul and Marys.

Kirsty likes cooking, but rarely bakes,

so she's been brushing up her skills at home.

I've had two goes at this. My daughters ate them both times,

so I think that is all a good sign.

Kristy's gingerbread judges will be decorated with coloured icing flavoured with lemon juice.

-Now, who's that? That must be Paul.

-That's Paul.

That's you with some trousers on, Mary!

That's definitely Paul!

I tell you what, they were awkward to get on there.

-Did you hear that?

-None taken!

It would be an ideal biscuit for children to make for Sport Relief.

Can I say something? I think you look slightly too glamorous.

Yeah, there, we're done.

See, that's what I want! Perfect, isn't it?

-Now, you're happy!

-Now we love you.

OK, and in we go.

Lovely little Marys. In you go.

They've joined up a little bit.

Because they'd spread a bit.

God, has she done hers?!

Jane, did you bring them in a bag and just stick them on a tray?

JANE LAUGHS

-Just trying to make sure that everything's right in the oven.

-OK.

Just got to let the edges go golden brown, but...

They do look very uniform.

Well, I'm trying to keep it all the same.

-And what about your lemon curd?

-It's setting now.

It's still very watery which, to me, means that possibly...

Oh, that's very watery.

Hopefully it's starting to set.

I don't know if shaking it does it any help.

-Maybe move it back from the heat.

-Yeah, OK, perfect.

If you've got stuff to do, I'll do that for you.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

This chocolate's now nearly ready.

That looks like hummus. What is in it? Chocolate and...?

Chocolate and coconut.

That looks pretty good now.

I think, actually, it is thickening, finally.

-Does that help?

-Shall I just give it a whisk?

-Yes.

I think that's a bit unfair because Jo's helping over there.

Jo? I'm getting a bit miffed here.

Because you didn't help me.

What Greg doesn't realise is that I'm not really helping, I'm making things worse.

JANE LAUGHS

Barbara said putting them in an air-tight container

will just stop them going a little bit soggy.

I don't know why, but that's my... that's her advice. We'll see.

There. Done.

I'm bored now, I'm going to go and get my stool.

She's even sat there perched with a cup of tea!

My other recipes are a little bit more detailed.

But only a bit.

The danger when baking biscuits is

there can be just seconds between perfect and being overdone.

Look about right? I think they do.

-They'll harden up as they're out.

-Will they?

-Yeah.

-Don't! I may be mis-advising you.

-Maybe that's where I've been going wrong.

-I might be trying to jeopardise you.

-Oh.

-Yes, scupper you.

-Baking mind games!

Yeah, yeah. No, I think they'll be fine like that!

JANE LAUGHS

This is just to keep me right. I've got my colours.

So I've got grey for Paul's beard, pink for Mary's scarf,

I've got ice blue for both of their eyes.

I've got yellow cream which is for Mary's blonde hair

and I've got liquorice, which is Paul's shirt.

Oh, that's a bit vivid, isn't it?

I wanted it to be a bit paler than that

but I'm afraid she's going to have a hot pink scarf.

Ah!

Aghh!

Can you wash a biscuit?

I think I'm going to try and do three of each

but I'm... Basically, I ran out of time, really.

I had a disaster with my icing, that it wasn't quite thick enough.

Those are the icy cold, staring eyes of Paul Hollywood.

And be aware. They are judging you.

The white chocolate went perfectly.

It's nice and white and got a bit of coconut in it.

So, all being well and good, I'm still quite nervous,

so it's the final stage of chilling, hopefully everything's right,

and then, yeah, go from there.

Do you think they're going to tell you off

about the lack of decoration?

Yes, I think they'll say,

-but, you see, that's how I like biscuits.

-Yeah.

So I think you've got to do how you like, don't you?

There's a lot going on with everybody else,

so I'm the plain one.

There is. There's a load over there with, basically, grass in them.

JANE GIGGLES

I'm now dipping the cookies into the orange spiced chocolate.

I'm doing more chocolate on them than I normally would,

just to cover up a multitude of sins.

Oh, my God.

Apart from the chocolate, the rest of it is inedible.

OK, everybody, five minutes left.

Some of you have been sat there for, oh, half a day.

Got a real problem. I just want to do one Mary just to show them

what it would have looked like,

and I don't think I'm going to have the time.

It will be a great pity,

because she does look lovely when she's finished.

There's a hair in the lemon curd.

It was a black hair, so it ain't mine!

Trying to hide the burnt bits.

We're all about style over substance.

OK, one minute.

You've got to come out.

Switch you in.

Very annoyed about my scarf.

OK, bakers, your time is up.

Will you please leave your bakes at the end of the bench?

Move away, Kirsty, there's no point crying, looking, licking,

whatever it is you're doing. Move away from your bakes.

I can see someone, yes... Disobeying orders there, Greg.

Just getting the curd out.

Just getting the curd out. It's too late, Greg.

The curd was already out.

-Is that meant to be me?

-Well, can't you see it?

Well, it's not meant to be Mary, it's got a beard. It's obviously meant to be you.

It's got a beard and look at your hair. Absolutely true to form.

-Honestly...

-Yes, spot-on.

-Uncanny.

-I'm getting the ginger.

-Good.

I could even do with a little more ginger.

I think maybe it needs just a little more baking.

Because you shouldn't be able to do that with a...

How many people, when they go to a bake sale

and buy a gingerbread man, are going to stand and do that?

I'd pick it up like that and go, "Hang on, it's soft."

Yes, but you're not normal.

They need longer in the oven. What do you mean I'm not normal?

-Well, look at you.

-THEY LAUGH

True.

Are we meant to do this?

That's the idea, yes, to get the general artistic effect.

-I'm going to have a go, then. Wah-hey! Like that.

-There we go.

-The actual biscuit itself could do with more ginger in.

-OK.

The chocolate and the way it looks is good.

But I think it needed more flavour in that biscuit.

I think it's a fun idea, you've really thought about it

but the gingerbread biscuit should taste of ginger.

-Yes, that would make sense. Cheers, guys.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

-Tough.

-Yeah, very.

-Really tough.

Well, I think they look very professional.

It's quite difficult to get that chocolate exactly halfway

but I'm a little bit worried about that lemon grass.

-OK. Be brave.

-Right...

Oh! Oh...

Lemon grass has let your biscuit down.

I think the biscuit, it's over-baked.

The flavours coming through are not good.

It's dry as a bone, it's a bit like sawdust.

It's got the texture of hardboard, but, besides that, it's all right.

Brilliant.

I think they look great, you know, for a gingerbread biscuit.

-They look like ginger nuts, don't they?

-Yes.

Actually, looking at it, I've yet to taste it,

-it's slightly overcooked underneath.

-Is it?

They taste exactly the same as my mum's because it's the same recipe.

-I love them.

-It's a very, very simple recipe

because what we're looking for is a little bit of skill.

Maybe just white chocolate on the top

would have been simple to do but highly effective.

-Does your mum decorate them?

-No.

-Yes, the same. So perhaps...

-All right, then.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-They're meant to be plain.

They're nice biscuits, thank you.

I wish I'd probably done a bit of decoration on them

because it was quite a lazy bake.

The biscuit was OK, pretty good, but obviously just not gingery enough.

It's all right. I'll come back fighting in the next challenge.

I think going into the next couple of challenges, I've got to pace myself.

In Scotland, as they say, "Keep the heat," which is, you know, "Stay calm."

I think I've definitely lost this challenge

but the only way is up.

You know, I've got two more bakes to get myself into that position

of possibly being star baker.

Good afternoon, bakers.

It's time to be very afraid because it is, hurrah,

the technical challenge.

Before I reveal to you what your technical challenge is

and you all start weeping,

I'd better send Mary and Paul out because we don't want them to listen

to any of that pain. So if you could leave us, would that be OK?

-We'll be back. Good luck.

-Thank you.

Your technical challenge, bakers, is going to be a banoffee pie.

And this is a recipe of Mary's.

We have a lovely pastry base, smooth toffee, bananas and cream on top.

-You have two hours. You ready?

-Yes.

On your marks, get set, bake!

All four bakers have the same ingredients but only a basic method

to help them perfect each layer of this classic dessert.

Cube the butter.

I have made banoffee pie before but I have made the cheats banoffee pie.

So I've made it with digestive biscuits, all done in the bottom

and then the sort of condensed toffee that you get out of the tin

and I do it with my gorgeous daughter, Iona.

So you've chosen a banoffee pie for a technical challenge. Why?

They will all have heard of banoffee pie.

Many of them will have had it in restaurants

but they may not have made it themselves.

Certainly not with pastry at the bottom. Most of them would have had a biscuit base.

A biscuit base is dead easy. We're giving them a bit more of a challenge.

-Now, eating, Mary...

-You can't wait, can you? You can't wait. Right.

There it is with its layer of thin pastry underneath,

plenty of toffee filling and a lovely creamy topping.

-That's a fairly generous portion. Are you up for it?

-Yes!

The toffee filling could well cause problems.

If they've cooked it too long, they won't be able to spread it.

If they haven't cooked it enough, it'll be too runny.

-That's lovely, that, Mary.

-Let's hope they're getting on well in the tent.

The bakers begin their banoffee pie

by making a thin, shortcrust pastry case.

I think you're supposed to do that with the fingertips

and lift it up high for pastry.

If they overwork their dough, it will become tough and difficult to roll.

It says to do it slowly on here so I'm just following as it says.

The only dough I remember is Play-Doh

so I know what that feels like.

So I'm going to go for Play-Doh as my...as my guide.

I was brought up on making pastry.

Pastry and salad. That's what me mum always used to say,

"Oh, Jane, just make some pastry for me."

Oh!

Argh!

I forgot it had a bottom.

Oh, that went in quite nicely.

That's just not gone well at all.

This is the cardinal sin, isn't it? I'm just plugging it up.

I've completely and utterly messed up the initial start.

Pastry and I are not friends, I've decided.

I'm just going to do that. It's... Oh, good God. What a disaster.

Is that all right? It's sort of all right, isn't it?

Resting the pastry in the fridge helps to prevent it shrinking when baked.

But there's no such rest for our Sport Relief bakers.

Got to do toffee filling now.

It says "until it's turned the right colour".

Well, thank you for that. What is the right colour?

It says stir continuously for five minutes, which I've been stirring...

Or until the mixture's thick.

-Well, it doesn't seem to be going any thicker at all.

-No.

Is yours going a little bit thicker?

Yeah, it feels a bit like custard at the moment. Here you are, look.

I don't think... Do you think yours is thicker than mine?

Yours is a different colour to mine.

-How can it when we've used the same ingredients?

-I don't know.

Just been talking to an Olympic star!

-Oh, I think I've done something wrong.

-What's that?

I've used the double cream in here instead of the condensed milk,

hence why it wasn't thickening up.

SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

It's because I were being cocky, you see.

I thought I wanted to be the quickest.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

-Is that your phone?

-Oh, that means... I can't be in two places at once.

-What does one do?

-Come on, I'll do it, you go and answer your phone.

-No, it's not my phone, it's the timer because I've got to...

-OK.

..take this out, which is the pastry.

I think the important thing about baking something blind

is that you get it into the corners. I think that's the deal, isn't it?

I'm going to do that.

Oh, my arms!

I think it'd be fair to say I've been stirring this toffee mixture

for around about three days.

It's not the colour of toffee, is it, though?

Come on!

I'm going to take the beans out.

Cook for a further five minutes.

My concern is, though, because the outer part of it is a bit thin,

because I was awful with the pastry,

that, as soon as I remove the support,

it's just going to crumble and fall apart.

That is a concern.

-HE SIGHS

-Oh, great(!)

Ooh! That's not good, is it?

Look, I've got cracks.

Do I have time to start again? Probably not.

Oh, well.

OK, here we go.

Ooh, I like the way it pours, though. That's quite nice.

Ooh, that's sexy, isn't it?

-HE SIGHS HEAVILY

-I hope it can hold it.

The mixture seemed a bit thin when I put it in.

Hopefully, it'll set in the freezer for a bit.

Beautiful banoffee people, you have 20 minutes left.

Peel and slice a banana and dip into... Yes, I've done that.

When the toffee is cooled, yes, lay banana slices over it.

OK, so I'm quite happy with that.

WHISK WHIRS

Whipping the cream! SHE GIGGLES

I think that's done.

That's looks banoffee-ish.

I'd stiffened the cream too much,

so it's now too heavy for the toffee that isn't setting.

So I'm going to have to apologise to Mary and just say,

"I've ruined your beautiful, beautiful dish."

JO SNORTS AND GIGGLES

-Well...

-Very abstract, Matron!

-Yeah. It's a Jackson Pollock.

Uh!

Uh-oh!

-The side falls away. Bring that down.

-Right.

Then you've got a big slide thing.

Well done, Kirsty! You know your stuff.

-I've seen them do it on the telly.

-JO LAUGHS

-Serve well-chilled.

-I'm going to do it.

-Right. Last five minutes.

-It needs it because mine's falling apart.

Just gently, gently, gently.

See, it's fine. It is staying together.

-I don't know. It's all just going to tip over the edge.

-No, it's fine.

Bachelors of banoffee, this is your final warning. One minute left.

You first.

SHE ROARS WITH LAUGHTER

Oh, no. Oh, no!

There's a massive hole formed in the side, it's all just pouring out.

It must be on the presentation plate.

They're on the presentation plates!

Mine is actually all over the presentation plate!

I know that feeling.

Oh, no!

I mean, that's awful.

-I can see a banana bit!

-HE LAUGHS

There's a piece of banana floating out the side now.

-This is fantastic(!)

-Man overboard!

OK, everyone. Time is up. You can do no more.

I've had a look and, let's face it, you ain't done much!

HE SNORTS

Oh! Oh, dear.

We asked you for a banoffee pie.

Some are on the move.

THEY LAUGH

OK, shall we start with the, er,

-the pool?

-The pool.

I feel we need wellingtons to do this job.

The pasty's still on there. I found the pastry, Mary!

THEY GIGGLE

All I can say, if you tip that into a deep bowl,

it wouldn't be able to leak out

and it would be a different sort of pudding. But it tastes all right.

I think, basically, the pastry's been patched up a little bit.

It's leaked through because the toffee's just like liquid

and it'll find any hole in there, and just pour out.

Once it pours out, you won't stop it. Right. Next one.

This one has got a nice design on top.

The cream could have a little bit less whipping,

it's a little bit granular.

Oh, I think, "Well done to that." It's come out in one neat piece.

The actual toffee is good, the pastry's good.

-But a jolly good effort, I think.

-That's not bad that, at all.

Not bad means it's all right.

Moving on. It looks very presentable.

The cream's been whipped to the perfect consistency.

-That's a nice-looking banoffee pie.

-I'd be proud if I'd done that.

HE GULPS

THEY GIGGLE

-What's happened to you?

-I was going to blow a bubble gum with it.

The toffee has been overcooked. I could paste the wall with that.

Slightly overcooked, but a very good presentation.

-Lovely cream, good banana, good pastry.

-Right.

This one is rather falling apart.

Toffee's perfect in it, though.

The pastry, actually, when you get down to it, is quite short.

That's why it's broken. Wanted a little more liquid in it.

Mary and Paul will now decide which banoffee pie has come out top

and which is bottom.

OK. In fourth place is this one.

-Who did this?

-Me. Sadly.

-What went wrong?

I did see the hole before I even put the toffee in,

and just hoped for the best.

And in third place...

In second place is this one. Whose is it?

OK. It's not bad. We're getting there.

-You over-whipped the cream...

-Yes.

-..which is why it's gone grainy.

The pastry's good, holding its shape, so you were nearly there.

And, first...

Sheer perfection from the top.

Toffee just a bit overcooked.

But lovely presentation.

-Well done, Kirsty.

-Thank you.

When I saw Paul's face do the kind of cartoonish,

"I can hardly chew this," I went and had a little scoop of it.

It wasn't that bad.

I came second, but my competition wasn't that great!

'My banoffee pie couldn't wait to leave the building.'

And, actually, that's how I feel after today.

I am drained. Entirely drained, but hoping tomorrow goes a bit smoother.

Money raised by Sport Relief is transforming the lives

of thousands of people around the world.

Nicola Adams went to meet some of the people your money has helped.

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Something that Magege knows only too well.

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Do you have any scars?

Wow.

But Magege isn't sleeping in doorways any more.

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The project provides a meal

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This project is more than a bowl of food and a blanket.

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Seeing Magege surfing in the sea,

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That could be the same for hundreds of other kids.

All we need is your donation to make it happen.

Please...

Thank you.

So, they've done one day.

Who's ahead, Star Baker-wise, would you say?

I think the girls are ahead of the boys at the moment.

The boys need to step up to the plate today,

and show us what they can do.

Hello, extraordinary bakers, and welcome to Showstopper Challenge.

Mary and Paul would like you, with all your skill,

in most cases, Jason,

to create a chocolate cake.

What we would like you to focus on

is your cake representing your job in some way.

So, you have three-and-a-half hours, that's all.

On your marks, get set, bake!

The baking bar is always highest for the Showstopper Challenge.

Just because they're baking for Sport Relief

doesn't mean the judges are going to be more lenient.

What I'm expecting from the bakers this time

is a great quality chocolate cake.

Good choice of chocolate, great carrier to carry the theme through.

Personally, I think a sachertorte will be a great one,

covered in a beautiful ganache, like ice.

If I was Jason, I'd be listening to this.

HE GRUNTS

As always, the thing they're going to find difficult is

getting the timing right.

So often, they rather fuss about at the beginning

and don't get down to baking the cake.

Oh, thank God! Oh, OK, so that worked.

I love meringues and pavlovas.

So, I thought, "Right,

"I can use them somehow in the interpretation of what I do

"for my work," which is dance, Swan Lake, ballet, that kind of stuff.

HE HUMS

You know the cygnets. Anyway, I haven't got time for that.

So, I thought, meringue swans on top.

What was I thinking?!

In a balletic extravaganza inspired by Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake,

Jason's delicate meringue swans

will decorate a two-tiered chocolate mousse cake,

filled and coated with chocolate ganache.

My cake is going to be called Chok-ovsky's Swan Lake.

-Chok-ovsky? Right.

-Yes. Well, it's a chocolate cake.

-You've got white chocolate and dark chocolate here.

-I have.

I'm going to actually make a lake on top.

So I figured I could dye the white chocolate ganache blue.

It's quite adventurous,

moving from where we saw you on the chipboard biscuits.

And then through banoffee disaster.

-I have to redeem myself, really, from yesterday's effort.

-You do.

If all this works, it's going to be spectacular.

Thank you. I hope so.

I'm going to make an incredibly chocolaty cake.

But it's going to have a peanut brittle top.

So, the effect is basically going to look a bit like sand.

After I have a jump session, I have about 25 showers, get into bed,

and there is still sand.

So, yeah, it represents me very well, I think.

Greg's long-jump cake is made from two layers of chocolate sponge,

sandwiched with caramel butter cream,

and topped with a praline sand.

What are you turning it into?

I'm going to try and make it look like a sandpit.

My artistic ability is so low,

I had no chance of making any form of jumping people.

So, I thought, "I'll make some peanut brittle

"and then blend it up and put it over the top."

And then will you jump onto it?

-If it's awful, I'll jump on top, yeah.

-Great. Splat it everywhere.

May it be awful because I want to see him jump onto it!

I think that when people talk to me about my career,

they invariably mention Little Voice.

I suppose, because I sing and act,

I wanted to do something that encapsulated both in the cake.

Jane's making her Auntie Molly's chocolate Victoria sponge,

sandwiched with chocolate and cherry brandy butter cream

and decorated with a sugar paste record, and a model of Little Voice.

So, what is your cake going to be in the end?

-Well, I've gone down the Little Voice theme.

-Have you indeed?

-Yes.

-Is it going to have Michael Caine on the top of it?

-How did you guess?!

-That would be a nice surprise, wouldn't it?

-Wouldn't it?!

-Oh, yes.

-We could all do our Michael Caine impression.

-Yes!

No, I don't think I could.

Right, so that...

-IMITATES MICHAEL CAINE:

-My name is...

-No, see.

-That's brilliant. It's uncanny!

I'm making a Dessert Island Dish.

My brilliant daughter Freya is a great baker,

and she said to me, "This chocolate cake, Mum, cannot fail."

What she doesn't put in hers are some of the ingredients I'm putting in

to make it islandy.

That is quite a lot of rum.

Honestly, half-tempted to take a slug of this to calm my nerves.

Kristy's cake will represent

the beach where her radio castaways are stranded.

It will be filled and topped with lime-flavoured cream,

scattered with coconut sand,

and finished with eight chocolate records.

Right, I look like I've made a chocolate milkshake, don't I?

But it will be a cake.

God's speed, my chocolate beauties!

Ugh.

I've never actually practised this in one go.

I did this one cake over three days!

So, to do it in three-and-a-half hours, I don't know if I can.

Kirsty, so tell us all about your chocolate cake?

I want the cake to look quite smart. I want it to look like a cake.

It's not in the shape of anything.

And then I'm doing discs, which are these,

that have fallen into the sand.

I'm doing eight discs because, as you know,

-every castaway has to choose eight discs.

-Yes.

Ah, they're done. They're done.

I'm bringing them out, they're coming out! They're coming out!

I'm not sure whether I've left them in a bit too long.

I think they're all right.

That's right, right? If it's coming out clean?

-Give me something here.

-SHE LAUGHS

He's inscrutable.

I've been watching this pan nonstop because I need to wait for it

to turn the colour I need it, and then throw the peanuts in

and cover them in the caramel. Then I've got the peanut brittle.

I think I've nailed it. I'm really, really happy about that.

So, now, I'll put it on here,

spread it out, and let it cool.

I tell you what, that, more than anything, that's pleased me.

I'm pondering my coconut sand.

When I tried this at home, the coconut was overly toasted

and looked more Tenerife than Barbados.

So I'm watching it like a hawk.

I didn't imagine, when I thought I'd put sand on my cake,

there'd be somebody else in the tent putting sand on their cake.

That's starting to look a bit sandy, looking at it like that.

So, we're getting there.

What are the big songs in Little Voice?

I did Billie Holiday.

# I don't know why but I'm feeling so sad

# I long to try something I've never had. #

Oh, my word.

# Never had no kissing Oh, what I've been missing

# Lover man, where have you been? # THE OTHER CONTESTANTS APPLAUD

I'm going red now! Why are you making me do this?

I'm sorry, I do apologise.

Because it's so brilliant, that's why.

Because, actually, I could see how you could sort of learn

to impersonate someone's speaking voice.

But I think their singing voice is so much harder, isn't it?

-It is when you're doing Bake Off!

-Yes, that's true.

Got to get the ganache right. And that's...

Put it this way, when I practised the ganache,

I had to practise it five times.

This is going to cover the outside of the chocolate sponges.

It's the glue to stick my coconut sand on.

I'm conscious I didn't want to add anything too sweet or cloying.

So, I'm just sticking with lime

and I'll maybe put a bit of icing sugar in it.

Quite a tasty-looking mess!

What stage are you at, then?

I'm just waiting for the final stage of this to cool

-before I then start to decorate.

-Right.

The only thing I'm slightly concerned with, just feeling it,

it feels quite dense.

Do you think Paul might tell you off for it being too dense?

Possibly, yeah.

No more time, really, to be faffing around, cooking this cake.

Jason must cool his cake quickly, so that he can decorate it.

But putting a piping hot cake in the freezer risks a dense sponge.

Half an hour to go, guys. Half an hour to go.

Hope you've got your time rigorously planned.

I am really late, and I'm feeling the pressure now

because I think I've been over-ambitious.

Look.

-Disaster.

-Oh, Jason. Oh, Jason!

Disaster.

They smell good. They smell yum.

There we go.

Right, that's it now, leave it, Jane.

It seems to be sticking. Once it's on, it's sticking.

Bit like waves.

Ta-da!

JO LAUGHS

-That looks great(!)

-Fabulous(!)

-That looks fantastic(!)

-That looks amazing(!)

-Hang on.

Just whack it all on, and press it all in, like that.

Maybe I can just pour that all over, and hope for the best.

If I do that...

-How do I get that upside down?

-No, no...

Oh, like that.

And then how do I get my hand out?

Like that.

Maybe if I just use a little bit.

THEY LAUGH

This is like a cake-making masterclass(!)

This is the closest I'm going to get to sand, I think.

That's it. That's my offering. I've put my heart and soul into it.

# What do you see? These people staring at me. #

One minute left. One minute left.

Oh, my God, what an absolute tragedy that is.

Emotionally disturbed bakers, your bake is at an end.

Please stop now, and place your products on the end of your benches.

Greg. Please walk forward with your sandy showstopper.

After yesterday's devastation, effectively,

I just want to hear somebody say, "You know what? You can bake."

I like the peanut brittle, it looks good.

I think the butter cream's got a lovely colour on it as well.

I love the way you've got the sections here, you know,

you've got a nice, clear filling, plenty of it, and on top.

The cake is not done, I'm afraid.

I think the butter cream is great.

The texture on the peanut brittle is very good.

-The texture in the cake is raw.

-Right, OK.

-Have I baked it at too high or too low?

-Too high a temperature.

-OK.

The best thing that Mary and Paul could say is it tastes delicious.

I'm hoping that the alcohol is not too much alcohol.

I think I've got the balance right but, who knows?

I love the look of it. Quite professional, actually.

I'd like to have seen some writing maybe on the discs

-so you could see it's a record.

-He's not demanding in any way(!)

It cuts well.

The cake is baked beautifully. The lime butter cream is great.

Love the coconut too. It's got too much alcohol, far too much rum.

It's overwhelming everything. You can't actually taste the chocolate.

Don't ask Mary.

I quite like a little bit of rum in it.

It all goes well together, and it just tells the story of Kirsty Young.

-Thank you.

-Yeah. Lots of alcohol.

THEY LAUGH

I don't think Mary and Paul will compliment me on my decoration.

But I'm hoping they will say the cake tastes nice.

-I think the overall look of it is very simple.

-Fair enough.

-I think you've had an easy one.

-Yeah.

The sponge looks quite nice.

It's not very chocolaty, but it's beautifully baked.

Yes, perfectly baked.

-Thank you.

-It's simple.

And you've done what it says on the tin.

It just doesn't look...

-You can say that again.

-It doesn't fly.

The best that I can hope for from Mary and Paul

is that they give me an A for effort.

-I like the blue lake.

-Yep.

The swans are interesting too.

Oh, I'm amazed it stayed together.

I don't think it had any chance but to stay together.

I think it's a little bit underbaked.

Because you've had to cool it very quickly.

-Yes.

-But, actually, the taste is not too bad. The ganache is nice.

At least you've made everything, even down to the mutated swans.

But I think we have to score.

-Oh...

-If you did a bit of dancing, I'd give you a bit more.

-Do you want the dying swan?

-Yeah. Go on, then.

HE HUMS

So, she comes on,

and then she turns.

And then it's up, down, boom, boom, boom.

That's a nine from me.

Thank you, thank you.

So, an interesting array of showstoppers.

Let's start with Kirsty, shall we?

She had a good bake. I thought it was a very good idea.

She came first on the technical challenge.

Her gingerbread biscuits were good.

Overall, I think she's done quite well.

Let's move on to Jane's.

It's a good cake, it's been baked well.

But I'd like to have seen a bit more effort going into the decoration.

On all her bakes, she chose to go simple,

but didn't stretch herself, which we would have liked to have seen.

Let's move on to Greg's.

Greg's cake looks great. However, the cake was underbaked.

Overall, I think he's actually a pretty decent baker.

He really tried very hard. And I think, in the end,

just as you say, he's going to be a good baker.

And finally, dot, dot, dot, dot...

Jason's Swan Lake.

It looked fun, but the disaster was when we actually cut into the cake.

It's really sad because he was passionate about getting it right.

So, what do we think, in terms of Star Baker potential?

Well, the girls have done really well,

and the boys have both had a bit of a disaster, really.

Sport Relief bakers,

we are very impressed by the efforts you've made.

I think we will move straight on to the announcement because,

I can tell you're desperate, aren't you, Jason, to know?

-Bated breath.

-Bated breath indeed.

Mary and Paul have decided that tonight's Star Baker is...

-..Kirsty!

-THEY CHEER

Congratulations.

-Thank you very much.

-Very proud of you.

-Thank you.

Your very own Star Baker apron. Well done.

-Thanks very much, Paul. Thank you.

-Good baking.

Feels fantastic! I love it. I love to win.

Who knew?! I've never won anything.

-Congratulations.

-Oh, I feel ridiculously delighted.

Kirsty ran away with it, and she's a deserved winner.

What a great team we've had. All four were such fun.

A little birdie told me that Paul did say I had potential as a baker.

Now, that's absolutely made my day, hearing that.

I will never, ever go into another kitchen.

So much so, I'm going to have my kitchen ripped out of my home

because I don't ever want to see another kitchen again.

SHE SOBS I've said all along that

people should bake for Sport Relief.

But don't! Don't, it's horrible. Do something else!

Run! Do sport!

EXAGGERATED SOBS

Have you got a tissue?

If you can't be bothered to do baking to raise money,

why not just buy one of these beauties instead?

All profits going to Sport Relief. Go to...

..and you can find out how to get one

and join in all the Sport Relief fun and games.

Next time...

HE LAUGHS

..Omid Djalili welcomes four new bakers into the Bake Off tent...

I really don't want to mess this up.

..where they do battle with tray bakes,

-get in a spin with ring doughnuts...

-SHE GASPS

..and wrestle with a sporty showstopper.

-A little bit profesh!

-SHE LAUGHS

Nicola Adams will be in South Africa meeting the people

whose lives have been changed by the money you've raised.