Unexpected Guests The Hairy Bikers Home for Christmas

Christmas - we love this time of year.

Yeah, wrapping presents, decorating the tree and generally making merry.

And nothing beats a bit of Christmas

home cooking shared

with family and friends.

Delicious festive food for all occasions,

packed with flavour and full of love.

Ding dong merrily on high.

And we'll be joined by some familiar

faces to get us all into the festive spirit.

Oh, my goodness!

That is preposterously wonderful.

ALL: Merry Christmas.

We'll also find out how to make someone's day with

delicious home-made foodie gifts.

So, hang up your stockings, tweak your tinsel,

turn on your fairy lights and relax.

BOTH: We're home for Christmas!

-Dave, imagine...

-Mmm?

You're having a quiet family Christmas, the telly's on,

the phone is off, and then the doorbell rings.

DAVE GASPS

An unexpected guest is stood outside.

What do you do? We've all been there, dude.

Hide behind the sofa!

No, you don't!

You invite them in for a drink.

And cook them up something festive,

tasty and quick.

We're making orange and honey-glazed salmon with roast Parmesan

cauliflower and cashew nuts.

And a last-minute Christmas cake that will wow your visitors.

Our unexpected guest is Jon Culshaw,

and it turns into a bit of a house full.

-(AS DONALD TRUMP):

-Welcome here to the Trump Hairy Bikers' Steakhouse And Cake Making Store.

This is fantastic. You would not believe how great this cake is going to be. It's a great cake.

Hark, who's that at the door?

An unexpected guest.

Hello, unexpected guest, I expect you're hungry.

-I am.

-What do I do? Do I panic, do I fret?

-Ah!

Do I heck, cos we always have loads of ideas,

but this one is literally a cracker.

We've got potted cheese with bacon and shallots and home-made crackers.

Right. First off, we're going to use wholemeal flour.

In here I've got some salt, dried yeast and some baking powder,

and we just give this a stir round.

Now, while Dave's stirring, I'm going to put some butter into a bowl,

some honey, to feed Dave's yeast...

..and I'm going to emulsify all of that together...

..with some water. Warm.

Give it a whisk.

In we go.

-There you are, mate.

-And you'll be surprised how many crackers you get

out this frugal amount of flour.

You do, actually, there's loads! It's brilliant.

-Oh, it is.

-Oh, it's coming together quite well, that.

-Ooh, aye.

Now, this needs to be kneaded for just a couple of minutes.

Show 'em what you're made of, Brutus.

We're kneading to get the gluten going in the flour.

The texture will start to change and become slightly more elastic if...

Cos you don't want powdery, too crumbly crackers.

-No, you don't.

-No! That would be a knackered cracker.

It would!

And we can leave that in the fridge.

It will still rise, the yeast will do its stuff for a couple of hours.

And this is one that we actually got going a couple of hours ago.

Now, we've had a disagreement.

You see crackers, to me, are square.

-Round.

-Square.

-Round.

So we're going to make round and square crackers.

So we take half the dough for the

square crackers, and half the dough for his...

..round crackers.

And we start to roll out.

-It's nice, this, actually.

-Oh, it's a lovely dough.

Now, square crackers.

Round crackers.

There's no point being too pedantic about this.

-That's not like you.

-Yeah, I know.

Look at them. Like little lozenges.

Beautiful.

I've got a nonstick tray so we don't need any oil.

I think I've got more crackers than you.

Mine take up a bigger surface area.

Mine are more aerodynamic.

Mine roll better!

Now, you must prick your cracker.

If you don't, it's just going to kind of go wobbly.

Do you remember that Christmas I turned up at your house unexpectedly?

-Yeah.

-I was meant to be having it on me own, up in Scotland.

And in the end I came down on Christmas Eve.

-You did.

-And I stayed till New Year.

It was brill. You see, that's not unexpected,

because that's what you do anyway.

-Yes, yes.

-And that's what I'd do at your house!

-I know...

-"I've only come for 24 hours," I was there for a fortnight.

It's true. Get your feet under the carpet.

-That's it.

-At least he'll always do a bit of cooking.

Now, you need to paint your crackers with olive oil.

SIMON HUMS

Right, we've got dressings for this, Kingy.

-Great, mate.

-We've got dried thyme and we've got nigella seeds.

And you get a lovely speckly cracker.

-Coming together, these, aren't they?

-They're lovely.

Right.

Now, we'll just pop those into a HOT preheated oven, 220 Celsius,

for 8-10 minutes.

Keep an eye on your crackers, you don't want them burning.

Meanwhile, we'll get on with our potted cheese.

This is a treasure.

It's the best cheese spread you've ever tasted.

And it calls for clarified butter.

Now, you can buy it in most supermarkets, clarified butter,

but I'm going to show you how to do it at home.

So it starts with just melting the butter.

While that's clarifying, Kingy, I'm just going to chop up the shallots.

That is all the butter solids that's gone to the top,

so what we need to do is, we just need to take that off.

Just skim that off, like that.

And that's your clarified butter.

Now, what we're going to do is strain it,

just to make sure that any little bits of butter solids that are

still left are caught...

-..in the cloth.

-Right, I think those crackers are done, Si.

-Great.

-Ooh, yours are, on the top.

Look at those, eh?

-Let's put these on here.

-Oh, wow!

-Beautiful.

-Lovely.

Home-made crackers.

-How nice.

-They're lovely, aren't they?

Now, I need some of the clarified butter, just a splash in the pan.

I'm going to fry the bacon until it's crispy.

And as it's frying,

it'll start to leech all of that beautiful bacon fat as well,

which will mix with the butter and form a lovely flavour for our

-potted cheese.

-Yeah, I mean the potted cheese is not for the faint-hearted,

or those that are worried about their waistlines at Christmas.

-Er, no.

-I may have a teaspoon, and that'll be it.

-Yes, and same for me, David.

-Yes.

So we set this aside.

Now, we're going to add the shallot to this...

..and just cook the shallot down.

Now, the bacon needs chopping pretty finely.

This is so crispy, so tempted to pinch bits.

-Right, I think we're there with the shallots.

-Yeah?

I'll get on with the old cheese.

Oh, thank you.

Now, this is where the fun starts,

with me trusty Christmas blender.

First, we put the bacon in.

Shallots.

Half a teaspoon of English mustard.

Some sherry.

And then the cheese.

And the clarified butter.

We want to reserve some of this to put on the top of our pot.

And just process.

Beautiful!

-Ooh!

-Ooh, yeah.

-Yes.

That's a beautiful spreading texture.

Now I want the reserved bacon.

And the reserved shallot.

And this would keep in the refrigerator

for at least a week or two.

Well, IT would keep a week or two but I'm not sure you could be able

to keep it for a week or two!

Absolutely.

Right, Mr King. Time to take this to the potting shed.

Perfect.

There we go. We then put...

..the butter over the top.

Oh, look at that, it looks brilliant.

And the nice thing is, that butter on the top's going to set.

When it sets, it's going to help to preserve your potted cheese.

We need to put that away.

-I think we'll just let that set, shall we?

-Yeah.

Cor, pot, cracker.

-Cracker.

-Cracker.

-Them round ones are great.

-Square ones are great.

-I think it's good to have an assortment, don't you?

-I do, Dave.

-I think that's enough, do you?

-I think so.

-Look at that.

Yeah, so when your guests come round,

"Ooh, this is just something we knocked up last week, just in case you came,

"and I'm glad you did."

-Let's try 'em.

-Yeah, come on.

Because your square ones are so lovely,

I'm going to try one of your square ones.

Because your round ones are equally as lovely,

I'm going to try one of yours.

Oh!

-Oh, marvellous.

-Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, mate.

-Mmm.

-Mmm.

-Oh, you must come again.

Oh, I will. I know I was unexpected, but this is epic.

Mmm. It's as if I planned for it, isn't it?

Ooh, crikey, these are good.

-Aren't they?

-Oh, yeah.

Potted cheese with bacon and shallots and home-made crackers.

Well worth making, just in case the doorbell rings.

Now, if it's likely this Christmas that you may have some mates that

"drop in", why not have a handful of home-made pressies to give to them?

Eshe Brown has a super gift idea which is

fabulously festive and takes no time at all.

Mulled wine is Christmas personified, you know?

It kind of reminds me of snowy, cold nights drinking wine to warm up, so

it's just really Christmassy and, yeah,

got a great, festive feeling when you have it.

So, I'm making a mulled wine kit that you can give as a gift, so

anyone can make their own mulled wine.

It's a family recipe that my mum taught me,

and I always look forward to it happening close to Christmas time.

It reminds me of Christmas Eve,

when you're getting the presents wrapped and you're having a nice

glass of mulled wine.

Goes really well with mince pies, as well, which I also often

make on Christmas Eve, and leave out for Father Christmas!

It can almost, sort of, be like an emergency wine kit if you need it, as well.

Obviously, Christmas period can be a little bit stressful,

so this is quite a nice gift to give people.

Really Christmassy flavours.

I think the cinnamon and the orange, particularly,

just making you feel ready for Christmas, making it.

I think it's quite nice to have a little bit of cellophane round the

outside as well. You just bring it all together and tie a ribbon around it, so it's a

little parcel, and then all you have to do is just tie it to the bottle

of red wine that you're going to give. You can pop a few cinnamon sticks on the

outside, or some dried orange slices - that makes it look really Christmassy, as well.

Got the complete kit, you don't need anything else.

Great to bring to a party, as well.

So if you're going to a party and someone might not have already

thought about making it, you can bring this along and you can do it there.

-Good to go!

-SHE LAUGHS

Our brilliant guest today, well, he was expected,

but he may have brought some unexpected guests with him -

Jon Culshaw!

THEY CHEER

-Hello, nice to see you!

-Merry Christmas, Jon!

Merry Christmas to you, too. Merry Christmas to you, too.

So, do you like Christmas?

It's a wonderful time of year.

I always call it the time of year where you restore your factory settings.

And I love to go home, shut the door,

and for two weeks, or whatever the amount of time, just do nothing.

-It's great.

-Just do nothing.

-We've got a bit of a surprise for you,

because what we're going to do is, we're actually going to make a Christmas cake.

Don't you have to make your Christmas cakes in September, Si?

No. Not with this one, Dave.

You see what he did there? Was good that, wasn't it?

Not with this one, because it's a relatively quick one.

The first thing I'm going to do is, I'm going to zest an orange,

a lemon and a lime.

I am going to cream together some butter...

-..and some sugar.

-That's splendid, isn't it?

-Look at that, all that butter and sugar, the greatest things in this world!

-Ever.

THEY LAUGH

I'm getting the aroma now, that sugary, buttery aroma.

I'm going to add four eggs.

So what was Christmas like when you were a child, Jon?

Oh, it was wonderful. It was just very...

I remember the Kay's catalogue.

-Do you remember the Kay's catalogue?

-Yes!

And you sort of sensed that there was potential here,

you may receive some of these things at Christmas.

It's on its way, Santa's coming!

-Yes.

-Yeah. And what do you do, what traditions do you maintain?

I always have a tradition whereby,

from Christmas Eve to New Year's Day,

we're allowed to have chocolates for breakfast.

-That's brilliant!

-But I just love the sense of doing absolutely nothing,

and just going at the pace of the days,

just, how they unfold.

People visit, you might stroll out somewhere, long country walks.

So, do you like winter? Is that one of your favourite seasons?

Yes, I do. I think it's a most beautiful time of year.

Astronomy season for one thing.

-Yes.

-So the frosts tend to give you those beautiful,

-piercingly clear skies.

-Absolutely.

And I love that time of the day, the late afternoon, winter sunsets,

-when the stars start to come out, and it's just wonderful to get out into that.

-Fab.

Now, I'm going to add our spices.

So we have cinnamon, mace, allspice,

nutmeg and cloves, and a little bit of cardamom.

There we go.

Ah, splendid.

And then we're going to take the juice of an orange and the flour.

And then we add some ground almonds.

And this little beauty.

This is orange blossom water.

Have a smell. And it just gives, if you don't want to cook with it,

you can dab it behind your ears.

-Exactly.

-So, and that's the basic mix.

But there isn't that much of it, is there?

-No.

-And that's the thing with Christmas cake, this is what you want in it.

Basically, I've got the zest of my orange, my lemon and my lime.

It's quite nice, isn't it?

It's all your five a day in one glorious cake mix!

You've got 15 in this one, Jon!

And I've got some dried apricots.

Currants.

Raisins.

And sultanas.

The inevitable glace cherries.

Orange and lemon candied peel.

And now, this is something we always do in a fruitcake, dried pineapple.

And our nut of choice for this cake is cashew nuts.

So, we give this a stir, and then...

Again, to continue with our...almost, kind of, tropical theme,

using 100ml of white rum.

-Oh, yes.

-Yes.

Which Christmas traditions when you were a kid did you absolutely love,

-Jon?

-I think, when you got the snow,

and I could go into the garage, and my dad would get the sledge down

from the roof above the Mini,

just to take it on to the school field opposite,

where there was a big old hill, and just sledge on down.

Oh, it's just the best feeling, isn't it?

And the first time of doing it every year,

-you'd see sort of like trails of rust where the sledge would...

-Yeah!

..all the rust would be removed by the snow.

You could sort of see where you'd been.

But, yeah, the chance of some Winter Olympics sledging in your own back yard.

Oh, it's just, on the toboggan, it's just brilliant, wasn't it?

When did you start to do impressions then, Jon?

I think it was probably,

a big part of it was watching Mike Yarwood's Christmas shows.

-Yes.

-Of course, yeah.

It was wonderful watching Mike and the wonderful,

ingenious thing about Mike is, he was the first big-time TV impressionist.

-Yes.

-And the way he was so smart to understand the multi cameras and the

split screen. Oh, you're...

"And now we're over on this camera,"

-and he just had that so smart.

-Yes.

And probably, a repeat of The Sky At Night with Sir Patrick Moore,

who I found very, very captivating, very fascinating indeed,

speaking very, very quickly and one eye open slightly more than the other.

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

So, I think, yes, that probably teed things off as well.

Hey, we've got a lot more guests coming round than we expected!

I know, they are starting to show up.

I've become Paul O'Grady for no reason at all.

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

That looks great. I'm looking forward to the glorious union of

that and that, when it comes together.

SI AND DAVE: The glorious union!

There's something about,

there's something about what you do and how you deliver it,

is absolutely hilarious, and it is so precise though.

Do you watch videos of people and then look at yourself in the mirror?

-How does it evolve?

-Yes, it's...

You do watch videos over and over again,

just download the clip on to the tablet and just watch it over and over again.

If you listen over and over again to something...

-Yes.

-..and you have it, like, in your mind.

-(AS OZZY):

-Ozzy Osborne, I'm imagining Ozzy Osborne now, you know.

That sort of, like, little wobble that he does, it just sort of

puts you in a good mood, you know.

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

And you just see the people and get it out there.

Is there a science to it, do you think?

Yeah, I think there is. You're looking for the aspect of someone's

voice or their mannerisms which are funny,

but you want to know which bits to exaggerate, to find the humour.

You want to look for the little nuances and foibles that perhaps

people don't realise they've noticed,

and then you get a lovely element of surprise with that.

One of my favourite is Professor Brian Cox...

-(AS BRIAN COX):

-..who has this very specific delivery sometimes a word at a time, like that,

to explain the concepts.

And our cake is very much like the laws of physics which bind the galaxy together.

If the fruit over there represents the stars and the planets,

and the planet-forming regions,

then this represents the dark matter and dark energy that will bind the

galaxy together, and...

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

It's like being with Coxy, isn't it?

-It's bizarre!

-We've got a house full!

But it's your mannerisms as well, though,

it just draws you straight in. It's fabulous.

-(AS TRUMP):

-Well, yes, I think the greatest one of those is probably The Donald.

It's probably The Donald. Welcome here to the Trump Hairy Bikers

Steakhouse And Cake Making Store. This is fantastic,

you would not believe how great this cake is going to be, it's a great cake.

It's so fantastic, it's absolutely great.

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

-His mannerisms are like that.

-I tell you what, there's about 15 people that's just come in.

I know, we need to make two cakes!

So really, the only waiting time in this cake is we need the flavours in

here to develop for at least 24 hours.

Now, three days ago, I did one.

-Ah-ha!

-Now we should get a bit of a hoof.

It even looks more relaxed, doesn't it?

It's plumped up. Smell that, Jon.

Oh, my gosh.

There should be them plug-in air fresheners that smell like that.

-Yeah.

-It is. You could can that, couldn't you?

I love that. That would be brilliant as a room spray at Christmas, wouldn't it? Oh.

Look at that. That's quite glorious.

It is. Look at the colours.

And now we're just going to fold it in.

And make sure it's thoroughly, thoroughly mixed in.

On cookery programmes they always say, "prepare your cake tin".

Well, we've done this, but we want to show you how. It's a normal cake tin.

We've greased the bottom with some butter and cut a disc of baking

parchment that fits the bottom of that tin.

Oh, yeah.

Now it needs what I liken to a chef's hat.

And what it does is, it stops the top of the cake from burning,

cos this cake is going to be in the oven for about three hours.

I have to say,

this is a heavy mix.

There we go.

And very impressive at short notice, like you say.

Absolutely, well, we've got the President of the United States,

we've got Brian Cox, we've had them all.

We've had them all!

Now, this needs to go into a preheated oven at

180 degrees Celsius for one hour.

After the hour, turn it down to 150 Celsius, but keep an eye on it,

because ovens can vary, and having gone to this bother,

you don't want your cake, well,

to come out like a rusk.

JON LAUGHS

Thank you.

There we go.

See you later.

So, so, Jon, when do you exchange presents?

I think, we have lunch,

and then just sort of sit back in that beautiful zonked out state.

I think that's one of life's little luxuries.

I feel like that now.

Well, funny, because this is the perfect time, then, because...

..we've got a little something for you.

Thank you. I'm very touched, I'm very touched.

And thank you for coming on the show.

I'm opening the paper very carefully so it can be re-used!

-Are you one of those?!

-Yes!

-You are not!

-I am!

-Oh, no!

-Oh, Jon, come on, man!

Oh, ho, ho, ho!

There we are. Now that is quite, quite magnificent.

Christmas, of course, at the height of the astronomy season and through

those, yes, very, very marvellous, we can see the Pleiades quite clearly.

Very faint with the naked eye but put the binoculars on and you will

see the richness of it, quite magnificent.

It's well known, Jon, that you have a love of astronomy.

-Yes.

-When you were with Brian Cox on the programmes,

do you find yourself inadvertently impersonating him?

-At times.

-(AS BRIAN COX):

-I think he finds it quite fascinating to see, you know,

the vocal patterns that we have.

There was one time he said, "Yeah, I see you doing this with your hand." "I've stopped doing it now!"

THEY LAUGH

Of all your impressions,

which one is it that you think brought you to fame?

I suppose it might have been William Hague.

That was quite notorious, yes.

I was working with Steve Penk at the time over on Capital Radio,

and we were talking about a new William Hague impression and talking, that,

"Well, we might as well phone Downing Street."

So Steve got the number of the Cabinet Office from directory enquiries,

just like that. The idea of the joke was meant to be Hague would say,

"Yes, could I, could I speak to the Prime Minister?" and someone would say,

"No, go away, stop wasting our time."

"Well, am I not important enough?"

"This is an outrage!"

But the very helpful lady said, "Yes, who is it, please?"

"Yes, it's William Hague."

"Just a moment, we'll go and fetch the Prime Minister."

He appeared on the line.

-(AS BLAIR):

-Hello.

HE FAKE LAUGHS AS BLAIR

The unmistakable sort of voice, always with a grin there,

"And I think what's important is..."

You know, your body language stiffens and your face becomes a

little bit like the Joker,

and then your body language sort of takes on the form of C-3PO.

And in the press at the time, Blair had always said, you know,

"Let's be informal, call me Tony."

But William Hague wouldn't go along with that.

-(AS WILLIAM HAGUE):

-Rather sardonically addressed him

as "Prime Minister".

So when, on this call, I said, "You all right, Tony?"

-(AS BLAIR):

-He knew something was up, but he played along good-naturedly.

-Gosh.

-It's about time we did the cake and took it out of the oven.

-Ooh!

-I think so.

-Should we?

-Yeah, come on.

-I cannae wait to see that.

-Let's have a look. It's looking in good form.

-Excellent.

-It's looking in very good form from here.

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

-Yes.

-Da-da!

-Oh, look.

-The cake is in the house.

-Look at that.

Now, remember, that's been cooked at 180 for one hour

and two hours at 150 Celsius,

left to cool, removed from the tin,

and that is our Christmas cake.

But you know when you first put your tree up without the decorations,

it doesn't look up too much.

-No. Well...

-It'd do for me,

I can imagine eating that with me bare hands!

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

In a cave somewhere, that would do for me,

I can sense the texture of that.

Because it's Christmas, we have to make an effort, don't we?

-We do, we do.

-We do. What we've got in here is apricot jam.

We're going to melt that down, and then...

We're going to apply marzipan. So, what we do is...

You look at that, you think, "It's awful lumpy."

-Yes, it is.

-What we could do is, you could cut that off.

No, waste of cake.

Waste of cake. So what we do is, clean hands, flip your cake,

and put the marzipan on that side.

Flat surface. This is our apricot jam, nice and liquid.

And this is the glue that's going to stick our wonderful marzipan to

our lovely Christmas cake.

And all you do is that.

It's like you're varnishing a piece of good quality woodwork.

It is! It's exactly that.

-It's exactly that.

-I was thinking more about botching up a bitumen-tarred roof.

Look at that shine. Look at that depth of colour.

It's like Rembrandt's loft.

There we go.

And there...

..is our cake ready to receive its lovely winter coat.

We've bought ready-rolled marzipan.

Oh, I think it's going to work, dude.

-Yeah, look at that.

-It is. And we just mould that down with your

hands. Look how smooth that is.

We'll cut this round here.

Mr King, make it beautiful!

Now, this...

-..is a blowtorch.

-It is the weapon of a Jedi!

THEY LAUGH

Now, what we're... I'll turn this off so we can hear.

What we're going to do is blister the marzipan.

We want it to go a slightly lovely caramel colour.

Nice and gently does it.

Oh, it's beginning to sizzle.

Oh, look at that.

There's no mistaking it when it starts to fizz.

There we go.

-It's beginning to resemble a giant macaroon.

-It is!

That's what you want.

The force will be with you, always.

-Thank you, Jon.

-Now, over here, we've got all manner of decorations.

We've got the ubiquitous sprig of holly.

-That's a good bit.

-Oh, nice.

That'll do. We're just going to use those as almost Christmas

decorations on the cake.

Not for eating but for show.

I mean, things like this, we can use this, it's an edible spray.

You know, we have gold cinnamon.

Beautiful oranges, as well.

And now, this is the good bit, look at this.

Looks like, kind of, little Christmas trees covered in snow.

Yeah, heavy with frost and snow, beautiful.

And we're going to show you how to do that.

What you do is, get an egg white in a bowl, and

just lightly beat the egg white.

And we use sprigs of rosemary.

Dip it in the egg white.

And just dip...

..your rosemary in the caster sugar,

and literally leave that to dry for an hour or two, out in the open,

and you end up with this.

-Your very own little Christmas tree.

-Beautiful.

Right, so this is our palette of decorating ingredients.

-Shall we start with this?

-Yeah.

Just push it in so it stays in place.

-I'm going to put that there, so it's...

-Oh, that's nice, Dave, just that, actually.

-Looks lovely.

-One on the other side.

Symmetry is everything. Some of the oranges.

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

-I think one, two?

I think that one there.

Just the one? OK.

-Oh, cinnamon. Let's have a couple of gold cinnamon sticks.

-Oh, we've got to.

Crossover, beautiful.

Cos it is a spiced Christmas cake,

-so we want to give that idea of spice.

-Yeah.

Just to finish, that little coronet.

Do you think that's enough, Si?

I certainly, certainly do.

-Yes.

-A work of art, that.

And I've cut to size...

-Ah.

-Well, that is our last-minute spiced Christmas cake, Jon.

That is wonderful. What a work of art that is.

Well, it's as much for eating as decoration.

-Absolutely.

-Go on, Kingy, let's have a slice.

-Are we allowed to now?

-Yes, we are.

-I've waited for this.

-Let's go here.

Got just the right amount of resistance, hasn't it, the cake?

It sort of fights back a little bit.

-OK.

-Oh, my goodness.

Look at that. It's a good looker.

-Right, come on, let's go.

-May I?

My mother used to say it was almost too nice to cut.

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

What do you reckon?

-Good?

-Oh!

-(AS TRUMP):

-I think this is a wonderful cake, it's so beautiful,

it was so wonderful to witness how you made it.

And the marzipan,

I'm going to use it as my hair for when it's raining and that's going

to be so fantastic. You would not believe how great that cake is,

it's a great cake, it's fantastic, I love how you did that,

that is fantastic.

Last-minute Christmas cake.

Rich, fruity and spectacular.

Turning up to someone's house with a home-made festive gift will put a

smile on anybody's face.

Olia Hercules shares one of her favourite Christmas treats, which is

full of seasonal flavours.

Today I'll be making gozinaki,

which is a traditional Georgian Christmas treat.

It's like a lovely walnut and honey brittle, basically,

that every Georgian kid really looks forward to every Christmas.

It's a real treat.

It's definitely a gift that feels very Christmassy,

all the glistening honey makes it feel that way, and also the nuts.

Walnuts are the best in winter.

One thing, make sure that the walnuts are quite nice.

But if you can't find nice walnuts, it will work with pecans,

any other nut of your choice, really.

I love making it because it just smells so Christmassy

with the honey,

but it's all in the taste really.

That lovely, sweet,

ever so slightly salty, from the salt, and nutty flavour and texture.

Traditionally, you would cut it into

diamond shapes which look really wonderful.

So you can stack them up.

You can pop them in a box, or you can wrap them just like I am now.

Pack them up really beautifully.

They just make a perfect present.

It's very inexpensive to make, and it's very quick, about 15 minutes.

But the most important thing is that you actually spend those 15 minutes

making it and wrapping it,

and it's a really lovely gift that you made with love.

There's nothing like that sound, is there?

I don't want to talk over it.

-There we go.

-Ah!

-Gentlemen.

-Well, cheers.

-Cheers.

-Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Jon.

-Merry Christmas.

-What an absolute joy.

You know when there's a knock on the door and you think,

"Oh, no, not you four, I forgot I invited you"?

Well, this recipe is perfect for that occasion.

It's a bit posh as well. We're going to do an orange-glazed salmon,

served on roasted cauliflower with cashew nuts.

Right, I'm going to make the sauce.

The first thing I'm going to do is to peel my knobbly bit of ginger.

Usual one, fabulous trick, do it with a spoon.

Right. While Dave's doing that, in here we've got some ginger,

cinnamon and cardamom.

We're going to mix that together. So

very simple, just give it a good,

good coating, and then we're going to set it aside a little bit just to

infuse and marinate.

Be quite a good 'un a barbecue this, wouldn't it?

It'd be perfect on a barbecue, mate, yeah.

There we go. And we just let them sit and get the flavours going.

I'm going to make the sauce.

This needs to reduce for about ten to 15 minutes.

I want some honey.

Can I help, mate, in any way?

No, I'm all right. It shouldn't take long.

I asked my parents if I could help with Christmas dinner and they'd say, "Yeah, keep out the way!"

-Oh, no!

-Yes.

-Get out of the kitchen!

-Yes.

Honey.

Some soy sauce.

Sweet and savoury.

Lovely.

Four cloves of garlic.

I tell you what you could do, Kingy.

-What's that, mate?

-Could you zest me my orange in there?

Yeah, absolutely.

SI CHUCKLES

-Teamwork at Christmas.

-It is, it is.

It's all-round mob handed.

And now, my thumb-size pieces.

We say a thumb-sized piece of ginger.

Just about there with that one, look.

Now, that is a thumb-sized piece of ginger.

It certainly is. There you go, mate.

Fantastic. Would you juice it for me?

Indeedy.

Then the ginger goes in, too.

Now, the orange juice is the last thing to be added,

the juice of an orange.

We're just going to cook this - there's not much liquid there -

until it's nice and thick and syrupy.

It's just a nice... It really is an intense sauce to put on the salmon.

But now it's time to get on with the caulie, isn't it?

-It certainly is.

-Are you going to floret?

I'll floret. So, we break it into small florets.

Try and keep them all the same size so they cook evenly.

Jon, do you ever meet the people that you do impressions of?

It has happened, yes.

Chris Eubank would give me tips on how to do it.

Well, Chris would, wouldn't he?

-(AS EUBANK):

-I thuppose you thpeak with that, um...

You exaggerate the lithping for comedic effect.

But...

He's a hoot, isn't he?

SI LAUGHS

And I remember at a charity event,

and being introduced to the Prince of Wales.

Oh, wow, right.

And I was sort of asked to do him in front of him,

and he sort of said...

-(AS PRINCE CHARLES):

-..one never knows about all of the foibles and

idiosyncrasies that one has.

Yes. I can feel you now, looking at me, watching.

Practising your technique.

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

Do you get ever confused?

Do you get locked in, you know, when you're learning a character, do get locked into that?

Sometimes you do.

-(AS LES DAWSON):

-Sometimes, Les Dawson.

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

-(AS ATTENBOROUGH):

-Or sometimes, this little robin here has reminded

me of Sir David Attenborough, and this wonderful creature

that we can see in many of our gardens.

It is very nice to see it here,

sat on an orange in its natural habitat.

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

Ha! Genius.

I've just got... This is for the caulie.

I've got the zest of a lemon going on here,

and then I'm going to grate a couple of cloves here.

Jon, could you teach me to do Si?

-Yes.

-Oh, dear.

-(AS SI):

-I think, you know, you'd have to, like, get that tune.

You know that tune. It's a very friendly voice.

You, you can't do it and not be smiling, which is the beauty of it.

That's the beauty of it.

So, you know, get that tune and that movement there.

-(IN OWN VOICE):

-It's a wonderful accent for certain words, such as conjunctivitis.

Conjunctivitis, aye!

Profiteroles.

I love the differences between accents.

-(IN LANCASTRIAN):

-You know, the Lancashire accent I always describe as like, you know,

a cheese sandwich that's been left in the sun and the ends have curled up.

Curled right up, like that, you know.

-(IN YORKSHIRE ACCENT):

-Whereas Yorkshire, it's like a dough that's not been cooked.

It sort of like, you know, it sort of like curves downwards.

-(IN GEORDIE ACCENT):

-And, like, the North-eastern,

the Geordie accent's sort of like the waves on a meringue.

-You know, that.

-Am I right or am I wrang?!

Now, in this bowl, I have the zest of a lime.

I'm going to grate another couple of cloves of garlic.

And I'm going to add the juice of the lime.

Now, this is for Mr Cauliflower.

That was my school nickname for a few years.

-What, Mr Cauliflower?

-Mr Cauliflower?

Culshaw to cauliflower was a small leap for my colleagues in school.

Did you do impressions at school?

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, the history teacher.

Also, also the physics teacher, Mr Dreier.

If you don't pay attention, you'll never learn it.

You won't learn it.

-Ooh!

-Actually, now, that sauce is just about there.

You see, when we say it's reduced to a syrupy consistency,

this certainly has. Back to the cauliflower.

In here I've got the juice and zest of a lime

with two grated cloves of garlic.

And lastly, for this,

about a tablespoon or so of either rapeseed oil or olive oil.

Now, I've got some cashew nuts here that go in with the caulie,

and they just need roughly chopping.

We're in business. So this is the dressing for the cauliflower.

The cauliflower's blanching and we've got the nuts.

Right, mate, that's them blanched.

-Beautiful.

-So I'll just strain this off.

Lovely.

We want the cauliflower to be dry, or it simply won't roast.

So we dry the cauliflower off,

put it in a tea towel, and just keep it like that.

I often think that cauliflower is like the best value veg in the world.

-Oh, it's brilliant.

-Yeah.

When it's roasted, it's lovely and sweet.

I don't think I've had roasted cauliflower before.

-You're in for a treat!

-Usually steamed, or...

-You'd love it.

It changes the caulie completely.

With this, we've got the lime and everything with it.

So, fascinated to find out what this is like.

On to the caulie. Just scatter the cashews...

..like so, and pour on...

..the garlic, lime, and oil, and give that a good stir.

And make sure that you get all of those,

that wonderful sauce that Dave's made...

..all the way through.

Now this needs to go into a hot oven,

200 Celsius, for ten minutes.

Then we pull it out, then we cover it with Parmesan cheese,

then put it back for another ten minutes,

so the cheese builds up with the nuts.

It's epic. The caulie really is the star of the show.

-Oh, yes.

-It's time to colour up.

-Lovely.

-Now what we do now, we just grate Parmesan on the top.

Cauliflower and cheese were born to be together, weren't they?

-Absolutely.

-Like Christmas snowflakes falling down.

Yes. It's like Santa's dandruff.

-I think that's enough.

-That sounds like a band that Jon Peel would have played.

-From their world tour.

-They'll be coming to a gig near you.

-Yeah.

-Back into the oven for another ten minutes.

It's about time we got the salmon on as well, then.

A bit of rapeseed oil, Kingy?

Yeah, please, mate, yeah. Perfect.

You know, I think whatever the circumstances, you know,

feeding people at Christmas is such a good feeling, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-It's sharing the love and it's shared food, shared table.

-Yes.

-It's the best.

-Nothing better.

-Even if they are unexpected.

-Yeah, and slightly irritating.

-Yes, but you never turn them away.

-Never.

-Never.

-No.

-No.

And if they've got a mouthful, they can talk less,

so that's good, as well, if they're a bit annoying!

SI AND DAVE LAUGH

Skin side down first, with the salmon fillets.

We want crispy skin.

So you need to make sure that the pan and the oil is hot.

There we go.

Bit of salt on the top. That'll also give it a lovely colour,

but it'll also protect the flesh a little bit.

Are there any chefs or TV chefs that you can do impressions of, Jon?

Keith Floyd must've been a gift.

Or was he hard?

-(AS FLOYD):

-That wonderful sort of depth.

I've not really listened to him for a while.

But I do remember, that this was the kind of vitality that

he would speak with, and this wonderful kind of expertise.

Lovely gesticulations.

And always ending with a slurp of wine.

-I just...

-That's uncanny.

-It's just unbelievable.

-That's uncanny.

-Clever.

-Yeah.

-It's really clever.

-Right, mate.

-That's looking mighty fine.

There we go.

We've got to cook that flesh side down, now...

..for a minute.

It doesn't take long to cook, does it?

-It doesn't.

-Just keeping an eye when that colour goes through.

-Yeah. I think we're there, Dave.

-Right. Let's get the caulie.

Ooh, look at that.

-Oh, beautiful.

-You don't want to lose that crisp... The Parmesan

has formed, like, crisps on the bottom.

There we go.

There we go.

The sauce, really, it's more of a chutney,

but it's so full of flavour.

You can smell the ginger hit from here.

Gorgeous.

There you are, Jon.

Well, thank you very much.

I feel spoiled.

Dig in.

Oh, look at that.

-Oh.

-I want to get the full effect.

-Oh.

-Good?

-Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

That is preposterously wonderful.

DAVE AND SI LAUGH

Orange and honey-glazed salmon with roast Parmesan cauliflower and

cashew nuts.

Don't be surprised if your guests come back for another visit.

-Cheers, Jon.

-Jon, a very...

-Cheers.

-..Merry Christmas to you.

-Merry Christmas to you.

-Cheers.

-Here's to you, cheers, thank you for having me.

-Merry Christmas.

-Merry Christmas, guys.