Episode 1 Bizarre ER


Episode 1

Documentary series about eye-watering medical cases in A&E, including a man who superglued a top hat to his head and a patient who has been suffering with a nosebleed for a week.


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Transcript


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# Emergency! #

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-With mind-boggling medical mishaps...

-Ouch!

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..and the quirkiest of casualties...

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My boyfriend dropped a turnip on my foot.

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-..Bizarre ER is back.

-# So come on! #

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And for the first time we've camped out in not one, but two British hospitals -

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Northampton General and Bradford Royal Infirmary...

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Hello.

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..to bring you the curious cases that are all in a day's work for the stoic staff...

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-Can you see your pound coin there?

-..but which have to be seen to be believed.

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Urgh!

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Plus, we've scoured the planet for the people who - thanks to amazing medics -

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have survived the most extraordinary accidents and emergencies known to man.

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Nobody believes they're going to get the Black Death.

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So scrub up, sit back and enjoy the sometimes silly, often odd

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but never dull world of Bizarre ER.

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-All I can say is, thank heavens for the NHS.

-Thank you.

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# ..Emergency

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# Bringing out the best in me. #

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Coming up tonight, the astonishing case of a man who's had a nosebleed for a week...

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It's been a bit of an eye-opener for Roger, I'm afraid.

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..a Texan barber has a close shave after being attacked by a giant swarm of killer bees...

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His head looked like a pin cushion.

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I thought he was dead.

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..and we cordially invite you to the first ever Bizarre ER wedding.

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But first, we head to Bradford, where it's the day after Halloween

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and one trick-or-treater has ended up in A&E looking a fright.

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Sean Murtagh and his partner Lee are in A&E after Sean took last night's fancy dress theme a step too far.

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I dressed up for Halloween last night and superglued this hat to my head.

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Yes, you did hear him right. He superglued a hat to his head.

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I had fabric glue, which is washable,

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but it wasn't sticking, so in a mad moment, I decided to use superglue.

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On hand to help Sean out of his bizarre bonnet is Dr Shabir.

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Sean Murtagh. Cubicle one, please.

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Let's hope Dr Shabir knows as much about millinery as he does medicine,

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as he goes in to inspect Sean's freaky fashion faux pas.

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That's good, seems like part of it's already coming off. That's brilliant.

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About 50% of the hat is still stuck on. Right, OK.

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Superglue, obviously, is quite strong.

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If you try ripping it off, you're just left with a skin tear there and that can lead to an infection.

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I'll speak to the plastics doctor, see if there's a solvent we can use

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to help dissolve this glue quicker.

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If not, to make it look not as silly, we can potentially cut around the hat so we can take it off,

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so you've just got the rim there.

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HE LAUGHS

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I'm a store manager, I can't go to work with a sequin top hat on! Oh, dear!

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# Barbra Streisand. #

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At times like these, it's always great to have the support of your loved ones.

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I have taken quite a few pictures and sent them to my family.

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My mum found it hysterical.

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Right, Sean, I've had a word with the plastics doctor.

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What we're going to do is, we'll let you go home.

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If you want, we can cut around the rim so it doesn't stick out as much.

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Just use warm water and just run around that area.

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It takes about two to three days, but it will come off.

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-Are you happy with that?

-Yes, that's fine. Thank you very much.

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Just take a seat outside.

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Now it's just a case of drawing up our fashion victim's medical record.

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I can't say I've ever seen that before.

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When he first came in I thought it might have been a prank, but it wasn't.

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We'll cut off most of his hat so he won't look that much of an idiot, but nevertheless...

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You've got to take your hat off to Sean.

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He's remaining calm, even though he's on his way to an amputation.

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Although this is one appendage he'll be happy to have lopped off.

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It's quite painful, actually.

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In just one quick snip, Sean's sequined hat has been reduced to a diamante doughnut.

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I don't know which looks worse! I think we should leave it back on.

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-It won't damage my hair follicles, will it?

-I wouldn't think so.

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-It'll grow back, I'm sure.

-I just really don't want to lose my hair.

-No!

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# You can leave your hat on

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# You can leave your hat on... #

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To top off his day, Sean leaves A&E looking even more bizarre than when he arrived.

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But we're happy to report that after a 12-hour soak, Sean and what's left of his hat were finally parted.

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Removing a hat might be a hoot for both patients and staff,

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but over at Northampton General, a more serious case has come into Casualty.

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A collision with a car has left Nick Fortley flat on his back.

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The first thing doctors want to do is to check that Nick's spine hasn't been damaged.

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Just yes or no for me.

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No. No.

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Each vertebra needs to be checked as any damage might lead to paralysis.

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-No. No.

-Each no from Nick means the spine bones are intact.

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After three everybody. One, two, three.

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As if things weren't bad enough, today is Nick's wedding day,

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and as he's wheeled down to X-Ray, fiancee Emma is in the waiting area.

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Hopeful that Nick will still be able to take her up the aisle,

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she's frantically making last-minute changes to her wedding plans.

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I've been planning my wedding for two years.

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Two whole years. Today is the big day and I'm sitting in A&E.

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Love was in the air on Nick and Emma's big day.

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-I love you.

-I love you more.

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Ahead of the nuptials, Nick nipped out to attend to some last-minute wedding preparations.

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As a massive motor bike fan, Nick had booked a brand-new Harley to get him to the church on time

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and he couldn't resist taking it out for a quick spin before the ceremony.

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-Oh, yeah!

-But Nick's plans hit the skids

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when a car crashed straight into the side of him, sending our va-va-vroom groom flying.

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# Born to be wild... #

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After hitting the deck with an ear-splitting snap,

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Nick began to get the sinking feeling that he might end up hobbling up the aisle.

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This is not good.

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Hoping that he'll make it to the altar, Nick uses his downtime to practise his wedding speech.

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The X-rays reveal that Nick's spine is fine, but his leg hasn't been so lucky.

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We need to get this to theatre fairly urgently, I think.

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You can see the fibula, the smaller of the two bones, is actually in one, two, three, four parts.

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That's what we call a comminuted fracture.

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With his leg bones in bits, Nick will be heading for surgery, not matrimony.

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But before that, our broken bridegroom has to brace himself for a painful procedure.

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The team have to straighten his leg by hand to bring his bones back into line, ready for his surgery.

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Are you all right there?

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With a fracture this bad, it's not just the wedding at stake.

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Nick could lose his leg.

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There are a lot of potential complications,

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and it could potentially have been limb-threatening,

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in that he would need an amputation.

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Nick's leg is put in a temporary cast to keep the bones in place,

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and the not-so-happy couple get to spend a few fleeting moments together

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before Emma has to make a heartbreaking decision.

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In just one hour, 85 guests are arriving for a sit-down dinner.

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Should she call the whole thing off and send the revellers home

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or be a brave bride and party on without her beau?

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Every bride's worst possible nightmare ever.

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It's meant to be the happiest day of my life and I just would like my groom.

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# I don't want to leave you behind

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# I don't want to leave you tonight... #

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We'll find out how Nick fared in theatre and discover if Emma

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spent her wedding night home alone later in the show.

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Emma and Nick aren't the only people

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to end their wedding day in sickness rather than health.

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The average wedding is essentially a death trap.

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Every year, 365 people get one in the eye from a champagne cork,

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and there are nearly 600 cake casualties.

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If the cake doesn't kill you, the venue might.

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In 2008, a Chinese couple luckily escaped without injury

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when the Sichuan earthquake struck midway through their marriage.

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Did earth move for you?

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And in a New York nuptial in 2007, guests were gassed

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when a faulty boiler started to leak carbon monoxide.

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What's up, dude?

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Each year, 750 eager bridesmaids get a bruising

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in the mad dash to get their paws on the precious bouquet.

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But scariest and most dangerous of all is the bonkers Bridezilla.

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In 2003, a Connecticut bride went on a rampage

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when the restaurant closed the bar at her reception.

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The matrimonial monster threw gifts and cakes at staff

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before biting the policeman sent in to restrain her.

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But take heart, wannabe newlyweds - if you can survive the corks,

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cakes and quakes, married life is actually good for you.

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One study found that compared to singletons,

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married women live an extra four years,

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while married men live a whopping ten years longer.

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Until death do them part.

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# It's a nice day for a white wedding... #

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Along with breaks and abrasions, blood is an all too familiar sight at Northampton General A&E.

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What they don't see every day is someone who's been bleeding out of their beak for a week!

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Someone like Roger Thurlow.

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I suppose it did start on Monday morning when I went into the office,

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and it's now...8.30 at night on Friday.

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It's been a bit of an eye-opener for Roger, I'm afraid.

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Despite the blood-soaked bandage hooked under his hooter,

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managing Roger's discharge is a full-time job.

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We're tearing bits off as Roger needs them,

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just to stem a little bit of the, erm...

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I got through one of those already today.

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Roger's troubles began with a polyp, a build-up of hard skin on the inside of the nostril.

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The polyp was removed in a routine procedure, but a few days later, bleeding began.

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A nosebleed might not seem that dangerous,

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but Roger's at risk from some potentially nasty complications.

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If a person loses a lot of blood, he can die from it.

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He can die from shock and blood-clotting problems.

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It's potentially a life-threatening condition.

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With congealed blood backing up in Roger's nose and throat,

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Dr Salvia knows what's coming and kits herself out accordingly.

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-Her first job is to clear the blocked passages.

-All right, are you ready?

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-Yeah.

-OK, I'm going to take the bolster now.

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I'm going to look away.

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If, like Carole, you're a little squeamish, you'd be well advised to look away now.

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As the bolster comes away, a nostril full of congealed blood comes with it.

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And once the nose is hoovered out, Dr Salvia's next step

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is to insert creamed packs up the nostrils to prevent further bleeding.

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I'm just going to put this...

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Hopefully, this would stop the bleeding.

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Oh, right, so no need to cauterise anything?

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No need to cauterise anything.

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Right.

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-There's white stuff, it's antibacterial.

-Good, good.

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Unfortunately for Roger, his throat is filled with more of these blood slugs.

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There's only one simple way to get them out and it's not pleasant.

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I can't stand the sight of blood.

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Time for Carole and anyone out there watching who's not clean on the sight of blood to look away again.

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Ahhh.

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Cough it out, cough it out. Excellent, well done.

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It's horrific, absolutely horrific.

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That brought a bit more up.

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-Ugh.

-I can honestly say I haven't seen as bad on the horror movies.

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I mean, it was just phenomenal.

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It was like a large piece of liver.

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We then saw something rather like a whole sliver of liver, wasn't it?

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It was just absolutely amazingly bad.

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After a quick gargle and a rinse, it's clear the bleeding still hasn't stopped,

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and Dr Salvia tries a new approach -

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inflatable packs known as nasal tampons to keep the blood at bay.

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Aaarggh!

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-Just relax.

-Oh, God! Strewth!

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Just relax.

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Sorry, it's just horrible.

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Oh, it's not nice.

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-Aaarggh!

-Sorry, sorry.

-It's all right.

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-Aaarrghh!

-I'm inflating some air to hold it, to stop the bleeding. It's like pressure.

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That's right - Dr Salvia is going to blow up those brain ticklers like a bicycle tyre.

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If these packs don't stop the flow, the only other option is surgery.

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Roger will stay in the ward overnight, but for now, medics have managed to stem the tide of blood.

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All I can say is, thank heavens for the NHS.

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After his horrific ordeal, Roger can finally rest.

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It's a whole three days before doctors give the go-ahead for the removal of Roger's packs.

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The ice is going to constrict the blood vessels on the bridge of the nose,

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so when the packs come out, there won't be any bleeding, hopefully.

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-OK... I'm just going to gently remove these packs.

-OK.

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Bit of a tugging.

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Very well done, you're doing really well.

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Just keep breathing normally for me.

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-That's wonderful.

-Well, I've got to say, that was a cinch.

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-Yeah?

-If bleeding resumes now, Roger will be straight into surgery.

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-Ow!

-Sorry. You all right?

-Yeah, that one's a little more...

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-Bit tuggy.

-That's all right, though.

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-OK? Well done.

-Hey!

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The packs do come out smoothly, but there's a nerve-racking wait to see if bleeding begins again.

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It's a sudden shock to find you can breathe through your nose again.

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It's wonderful.

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I'm a very happy chappie.

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An hour later, Roger's out of bed and ready to go home.

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First thing you want when you get home, nice cup of tea.

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I'm really looking forward to that.

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Yeah, it's nice that he's going to be coming home.

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With Roger finally breathing easy and Carole off bog roll duty,

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the couple head home for a well-earned cuppa.

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But we reckon Roger might be giving the jammy dodgers a miss.

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Bizarre cases aren't just restricted to Britain.

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This series, we've gone global in our search for the most extraordinary emergencies on Earth.

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Across the pond, one man's plans for an afternoon in the Texas sunshine

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turned into surreal horror

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when he got caught in the deadliest of honey traps.

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-'911.

-My dad's getting eaten up by bees.'

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His face was just black, about two inches thick, full of bees.

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-'Dad!

-Is he having difficulty breathing or swallowing?

-Wake up!'

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Every time I tried to move him, they'd just fall off and make room for more to hit him.

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'I can't get to him. They're killing him.' I thought he was dead.

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Lamar LaCaze is a Texas barber,

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John Wayne fanatic, steer roper

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and now bee attack survivor.

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Last summer, after a busy morning cutting hair,

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he decided to give the weeds on his land a short back and sides.

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Lamar didn't know it, but he had the neighbours from hell.

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At the edge of his property was a rusty old water heater, home to 70,000 Africanised honey bees.

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-We call them the killer bees.

-They're vicious.

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Bee attacks can be started by loud noise and vibrations

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like, oh, a tractor, say, even up to 100 feet away.

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I didn't see one bee or two bees or anything.

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They were just there.

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A dense, deadly, black cloud of bees swarmed over Lamar in a flash.

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Over 2,000 bees attacked Lamar's head, targeting the warmth of his breath, suffocating him.

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They'd fly up my nose.

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I'd blow them out and then I'd try to breathe and they'd fly into my mouth.

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I had to spit them out.

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This kamikaze colony of apian assassins sank more than 2,000 stingers into his skin.

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I couldn't open my eyes cos they'd sting me.

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Got in my ears, stung in the nose. I tried to mash them and get them off.

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Lamar collapsed as the devastating dose of poisonous bee venom brought him closer and closer to death.

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I said, I can't lose consciousness,

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because if I do, they're going to get in my mouth, up my nose and suffocate me.

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You'd be a goner then.

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Lamar's son Trey embarked on a desperate 90-minute search to track down his dad.

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He was slumped over with his head against the fence

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and I thought he was dead.

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When fire brigade paramedics found Lamar smothered in bees, they feared the worst.

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He wasn't moving at all.

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He didn't look like he was breathing.

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This limp body was laying there.

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Firefighters blasted Lamar's head with bee-killing foam, but feared this would be a hopeless case.

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Until Lamar moaned.

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I remember looking at my partner and going,

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"Oh, crud, he's still alive."

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His body flooded with deadly toxic venom and barely breathing, Lamar was rushed to Seton Medical Center.

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His wife Lois watched ER staff swarm over him to save his life.

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All I could hear was the doctor giving orders,

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a nurse was putting in an IV, somebody was cutting his jeans off,

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somebody was trying to ask him questions and he was not responding.

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Somebody else said, "There's a bee coming out of his ear."

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Over 2,000 stingers had left Lamar's head covered in bruises,

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-blisters and black spots.

-What I thought was dirt

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were stingers

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all over this gentleman's head, shoulders, neck.

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The ear canal, the throat and the neck,

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-the eyes...

-When we separated his eyelids, there were bee stingers along the lash line.

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His head looked like a pin cushion.

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The stinger has a sac of venom on the end of it, so you take the tip of the tweezers

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and you get as close to the skin as you can and pull on the stinger,

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trying not to squeeze any more venom into Mr LaCaze's skin.

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I said, "I think I've still got some in the roof of my mouth,"

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so she took a pair of tweezers and pulled eight more out of the top of my mouth.

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It wasn't just a couple here and there.

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It was black by the time we were done pulling them out.

0:20:070:20:09

Medics found it hard to keep a tally on the total of stingers stuck in Lamar.

0:20:110:20:16

Somewhere after the 1,200 mark they lost count.

0:20:160:20:19

The pain of just one sting is bad enough for some,

0:20:190:20:22

but it's the poisonous venom that can be life-threatening, as Lamar found out.

0:20:220:20:27

He swelled more and more, and by morning, he was completely blind.

0:20:270:20:31

50 stings can cause cramps, shortness of breath and a rapid pulse.

0:20:310:20:36

He was not out of the woods. In fact, he was just getting really worse.

0:20:360:20:40

The venom from 100 stings can paralyse the respiratory system, and in some cases kill.

0:20:400:20:46

Lamar had 20 times this amount.

0:20:460:20:48

He began to bleed from his eyes, his nose and his ears

0:20:480:20:52

a couple of days after he was in the hospital,

0:20:520:20:54

when he should have been getting better.

0:20:540:20:56

I said, "Lamar, I love you,"

0:20:580:21:01

and he still didn't respond.

0:21:010:21:04

The venom was also eating away at Lamar's muscles and organs.

0:21:040:21:08

He had muscle damage to the heart, he had muscle damage to the body and he also had kidney damage.

0:21:080:21:13

Against the odds, Lamar started to come back from the brink of death.

0:21:130:21:18

But his progress was slow.

0:21:180:21:21

His recovery took a staggering seven days.

0:21:210:21:23

Dialysis helped flush out the venom, the swelling subsided,

0:21:230:21:27

and one by one, his ravaged organs started to come back online.

0:21:270:21:31

They saved my life up there at the hospital.

0:21:310:21:34

After a week in intensive care, Lamar was allowed home.

0:21:350:21:38

The killer bees were now just killer wannabes, but the attack has left a sting in the tail.

0:21:380:21:44

One night I woke up fighting bees.

0:21:440:21:48

Now I have these phantom nerves.

0:21:480:21:52

I keep slapping myself.

0:21:520:21:55

A beekeeper removed 70,000 bees from the old hive, taking away 13 giant combs of honey.

0:21:550:22:02

She called it the Killer Bee Honey.

0:22:020:22:04

It was just as clear and pretty as you could see.

0:22:040:22:07

Tastes good too.

0:22:070:22:09

It's sweet to see Lamar's not bitter.

0:22:090:22:11

This series, the Bizarre ER confessional is back.

0:22:180:22:22

We've invited medics from across the land to share the funniest

0:22:240:22:27

and freakiest things they've seen in A&E.

0:22:270:22:32

These stories might sound far-fetched, but they're all 100% true.

0:22:320:22:36

We had this old fella in the days before Viagra who couldn't maintain his erection,

0:22:470:22:52

and you know those penile rings

0:22:520:22:54

that you put at the base of the penis that keeps it engorged?

0:22:540:22:58

What he did was, he took his bike padlock,

0:22:580:23:01

which wasn't an ordinary padlock, it was a combination lock,

0:23:010:23:05

and he stuck that round the end of his penis, had sex,

0:23:050:23:07

and then, because I think he was elderly, he forgot the combination.

0:23:070:23:11

Forgot the combination! By the time he came to A&E, his knob was three times the normal size and blue.

0:23:110:23:17

I'm glad to say we were able to get it off with a hacksaw.

0:23:170:23:20

Funnily enough, he didn't want the lock back.

0:23:200:23:23

One of my colleagues was asked to examine

0:23:270:23:29

someone's back passage with a proctoscope.

0:23:290:23:33

A proctoscope is like a sort of Perspex cigar holder,

0:23:330:23:37

and so what he had to do was to put this cigar holder, sort of Perspex thing,

0:23:370:23:42

up the guy's bottom so he could see inside to look at the lining.

0:23:420:23:45

So he puts this thing inside him, he removes the introducer and he peers down.

0:23:450:23:49

He has a light over his shoulder so that he can see inside,

0:23:490:23:53

and he looks down it and all he can see is this crazy psychedelic pattern,

0:23:530:23:57

and then he suddenly realised what he's done is,

0:23:570:23:59

he'd pushed his tie into the guy's bottom, so he's left hanging.

0:23:590:24:02

He just asks the nurse for scissors and just chops it off.

0:24:020:24:05

Earlier in the show, we met nearly-weds Nick and Emma.

0:24:130:24:17

Their big day was blighted when Nick came off his Harley at high speed.

0:24:170:24:20

It was down to Emma to decide whether to go ahead with the knees-up without Nick

0:24:220:24:27

or spend the night by his bedside in her bridal veil.

0:24:270:24:31

So which did she opt for?

0:24:310:24:33

Nick wanted the party to go on, so I'm here, veil, no dress, no wedding ring.

0:24:400:24:47

-And of course, no groom.

-There's a little picture of him.

0:24:470:24:51

He's here in spirit but not in body.

0:24:510:24:53

And finally, there's reason to celebrate.

0:24:530:24:57

We've heard from Nick. He's out of surgery, bit groggy on the morphine.

0:24:570:25:01

He's OK and he'll be on the mend soon.

0:25:010:25:03

I spent ages pondering over the speech and put it carefully together, but...

0:25:050:25:08

-WOMAN:

-And you've just ripped it up!

-LAUGHTER

0:25:080:25:11

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like raise a glass to what will be, in time, the happy couple.

0:25:130:25:17

-ALL:

-Cheers!

0:25:170:25:19

Nick's awake, but it's all a bit hazy.

0:25:230:25:27

I can remember exactly what happened but it all seems like it was 50 years ago.

0:25:270:25:32

The last text that I got on my phone was off someone wishing me good luck in a traditional manner

0:25:320:25:38

by saying, "Hope everything goes well today, cuz, and break a leg."

0:25:380:25:42

And lo and behold, that's exactly what happened.

0:25:420:25:45

Bizarre.

0:25:470:25:48

While Nick's beloved has been sipping champers,

0:25:480:25:53

surgeons have hammered a titanium bar into his leg

0:25:530:25:56

and screwed it in place to support the bones and help them heal.

0:25:560:26:00

The quicker I can get recovered and get life back to normal,

0:26:000:26:03

the quicker we can get married.

0:26:030:26:06

She knows I love her, so job's a good 'un, hopefully.

0:26:060:26:10

Hiya!

0:26:100:26:11

Finally, the stricken couple are reunited.

0:26:110:26:14

I come bearing gifts for the invalid.

0:26:140:26:17

I hope he's all right.

0:26:170:26:19

Ah, the smell of disinfectant and an oxygen mask for a hat.

0:26:220:26:26

It's what every couple dreams of on their wedding night.

0:26:260:26:29

But at least it hasn't dampened Nick and Emma's love.

0:26:290:26:32

It's two months later, and Nick's better but still not back on his feet.

0:26:390:26:44

I've no longer got a plaster. It's called an air boot,

0:26:440:26:46

which is removable, referred to in the hospital as a Beckham Boot.

0:26:460:26:51

We've got loads of things in common, me and Dave!

0:26:510:26:54

And just like Dave, our couple are front page news.

0:26:540:26:57

It was in the Mail and stuff, wasn't it?

0:26:570:26:59

The Mail, the Telegraph.

0:26:590:27:01

-Some Russian website.

-Yeah!

0:27:010:27:03

We're worldwide celebrities now.

0:27:030:27:05

And will there still be a celebrity wedding?

0:27:050:27:08

Well, at the moment, the wedding is just miles away

0:27:080:27:12

because I don't even know when I'm going to be able to walk.

0:27:120:27:15

I don't want push him in a wheelchair with my dress and veil and heels on.

0:27:150:27:20

It's just not a good look for a new bride.

0:27:200:27:22

-After all this, Em, do you still want to marry me?

-Yeah, go on, then.

0:27:220:27:26

Next time on Bizarre ER, we meet a lady with a very peculiar pout...

0:27:380:27:44

one student has a jaw-dropping emergency...

0:27:440:27:47

SHE MUMBLES Sorry?

0:27:470:27:50

..and a medieval menace makes a comeback in modern day Manhattan.

0:27:500:27:54

I just could not believe that we really had the plague.

0:27:540:27:59

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:200:28:23

E-mail [email protected]

0:28:230:28:26

Sheridan Smith narrates a series which follows the most extraordinary and fascinating A&E cases from two British hospitals, and recounts amazing tales of medical survival from around the world.

We meet a man who superglued a tiny top hat to his head; a patient who has been suffering with a nosebleed for a week; and a couple whose wedding day ended in surgery rather than matrimony after a bizarre motorbike accident.

Plus, the Texan barber who survived a near-fatal attack by a swarm of more than 2,000 killer bees, and medical professionals confess the oddest and most outlandish cases they have been confrontred with in casualty.


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