Episode 10 Bizarre ER


Episode 10

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With mind-boggling medical mishaps...

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and the quirkiest of casualties...

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Boyfriend dropped a turnip on my foot.

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..this is Bizarre ER.

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And for the first time, we've camped out in not one but two British hospitals,

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Northampton General and Bradford Royal Infirmary...

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Hello.

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..to bring you the curious cases that are all in a day's work for the stoic staff...

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Can you see your pound coin there?

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..but which have to be seen to be believed.

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Plus, we've scoured the planet for the people who,

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thanks to amazing medics, have survived the most extraordinary accidents

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and emergencies known to man.

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Nobody believes they're going to get the Black Death.

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So scrub up, sit back and enjoy the sometimes silly, often odd, but never dull world of Bizarre ER.

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-All I can say is thank heavens for the NHS.

-Thank you.

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# Bringin' out the best in you. #

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Coming up - a Bradford granny's Tasered by her own toaster...

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I think what saved me was the fact that I had leather shoes on with rubber soles.

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..Bonfire Night ends early for the boy who ate his own sparkler.

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Chewed it and swallowed it.

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..and the curious tale of how an artist survived

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being skewered by a two-metre metal rod, when she impaled herself on her own sculpture.

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When I went to introduce myself to Sophia, I said, "Hi, I'm Jules, I'm a... Whoa!"

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But first we're heading to Northampton General, which sees its fair share of sporting injuries.

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-But when it comes to freaky football foul-ups, our next case is in the Premier League.

-It's hurting.

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Dean Taylor's arrived in A & E with his right ankle at a right angle,

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after an awkward tackle just five minutes into a Sunday League cup match.

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-I told the ambulance, "Just pop it back in and I'll carry on."

-HE LAUGHS

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Luckily for Dean, the medics can ease his suffering, but with a very peculiar kind of pain relief.

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It's the medicine that will make you feel sleepy.

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As well as morphine, Dean's being given midazolam,

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which doesn't stop him feeling pain but helps him forget it.

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It sedates him to the point that he can't remember stuff,

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but he's still going to have a response to the pain

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of what we're doing, but he's just not going to remember it.

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Dean's broken his tibia and fibula bones,

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but as well as bones, the break will affect nerves and blood vessels.

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If medics don't crank the ankle back into place quickly, Dean could lose his foot.

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Here we go.

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DEAN YELLS Well done.

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Well done, that's it. It's all done!

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-You did really well.

-Well done, Dean, the worst bit's over now.

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You sure?

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-I'm sure.

-Just putting a plaster on, then you'll be really comfortable.

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Dean's best foot is once again forward, but bizarrely,

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-due to the drugs, he has no memory of the manoeuvre.

-Have I been to sleep already?

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You have. It's all been done.

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All done.

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-OK, I'll come and talk to you later.

-OK.

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-Have I really been to sleep?

-Yes, they done it before we got here.

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Straightened your ankle up.

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Well, I didn't know that.

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He might have a memory like a goldfish right now,

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but Dean still recognises mum Belinda by her soothing bedside manner(!)

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One way of getting out of work, isn't it, son?

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Having straightened Dean out, Dr Pearce now needs to see

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exactly what damage has been done to the tibia and fibula.

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His ankle is broken in two places across here and up here as well,

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and this is his tibia bone and the bone is broken across here.

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To fix these bones, it ought to have a plate on this bone and a screw on this bone

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to stop his ankle from moving whilst it heals.

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So our Sunday League star needs surgery, but he'll have to wait for

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-the swelling to subside before his ankle goes under the knife.

-Bye.

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The family call full-time on today, and Dean gets some well-earned rest.

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The next day, the nasty fracture is still too swollen for surgery.

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Whenever anything breaks, it swells up.

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Your skin becomes like an over-ripe tomato.

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It's all right if you don't touch it,

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but if you do, it'll split open and then you can't sew it back again.

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With play delayed yet again, Dean settles in for another night on the ward.

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HE SIGHS

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A full five days into extra time, the leg still isn't match-fit.

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Dean's initial cast has also become uncomfortable,

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so he's been wheeled off to be put into some new team colours.

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I desperately need a shower, and the nurses said they'll only give me one

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if I change the colour to pink, so that's what I'm going to do.

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Excuse my fingers.

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They could have gone in worse places!

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After a few days on the ward, there's clearly nothing wrong with Dean's funny bone.

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PFFFRRRRT!

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Oh, Dean, that is definitely a red-card offence!

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While Dean's so far been doing a good job of keepie-uppie with his spirits,

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the long wait for surgery is starting to dampen his mood.

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I'm very bored. Very bored.

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It's not just the boredom crippling Dean.

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The longer surgery's delayed, the greater the chance of complications,

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and Dean's worried what this injury means for his footballing future.

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He lives for his football, and for him not to actually play football...

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well, he might as well give up.

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Join us later in the show, when we'll find out if Dean makes it to surgery

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and discover if staff can ensure he'll once again be able to play for his beloved Kislingbury FC.

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Next, we're heading to Bradford Royal Infirmary, where it's Bonfire Night.

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But the Wilson family have had to cut short their celebrations, after little Jacob

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turned his nose up at the usual treats and chose to chow down on a sparkler.

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Chewed it and swallowed it.

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It wasn't lit, thankfully.

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We'd not managed to light them with the wind,

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so he was keeping hold of it so we could light it later.

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-Mummy!

-But then he decided to eat it instead.

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Although he's all smiles now, Jacob's bizarre bite to eat

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could cause serious complications, so he's rushed in to see Dr Bell.

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-What time was that roughly, do you know?

-I think it was about...

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just about eight.

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Eight o'clock.

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And how's he been since then?

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He seems absolutely fine.

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He has said a couple of times that his tummy's hurting him.

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After picking over Jacob's potentially-lethal leftovers,

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Dr Bell needs to check that there are no abnormalities to his internal organs.

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The poor wee firecracker is clearly uncomfortable, and his tummy ache

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could be a symptom of something much more serious.

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So Jacob's sent up to the children's ward, where he'll be put under the care of Dr Singh Hunjan.

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One of the things we worry about with fireworks,

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or any kind of ingestion of fireworks,

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is there's a chemical called barium nitrate that's in them,

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and in very severe cases, it can affect your breathing

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and paralyse your muscles, and one other thing we worry about

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is it can bring your potassium level very low,

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and that can cause problems with the heart.

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It could take hours for problems to flare up, so while tonnes of

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the toxic barium nitrate safely go up in smoke outside, Jacob's kept in hospital overnight for observation.

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He's in safe hands, but Mum and Dad will have a nervous night ahead.

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The following morning, much to Mum's relief, Jacob's sparkler snack seems to be a bit of a damp squib.

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I think they came in every couple of hours, so they kept a good eye on him all night.

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Dr Singh Hunjan pops in for a final check-up.

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Can I have a little feel of your tummy, and then do you want to go home? What do you reckon?

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Can you tell me what you had for your breakfast today?

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-Toast.

-Toast. Now shall I see if I can find this toast in here somewhere?

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Let me have a little feel. Ah, there might be a little bit of jam.

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-Feel the sparkler.

-Shall I have a listen? I want to be able to hear that sparkler going off!

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Oh, no, I think it's gone. I don't think it's there.

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That's really good, isn't it?

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-He's fine. I think we should get you off. Is that OK?

-That sounds like a good plan.

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-Right. We'll leave you guys to it.

-Thanks very much.

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None the worse for his ordeal, Jacob heads home, where mum will be making sure

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that the only snap, crackle and pop he'll be munching on from now on will be at the breakfast table.

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Our next patient tonight has come to A & E after a quirky kitchen calamity.

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Gloria Declare's arrived stunned, but lucky to be alive, after she was electrocuted by her own toaster.

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I was very lucky. I think what was saved me

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was the fact that I have leather shoes on with rubber soles.

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Gloria had just got home from bingo and was feeling a little peckish.

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All the threes, pancakes for tea.

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She decided to pop some pancakes into the toaster,

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but events took a shocking turn when Gloria pressed the lever.

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A blue flash sparked and, faster than she could shout, "House,"

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she was thrown across the kitchen.

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Dazed but not fazed by the snack attack, Gloria had another go, with an unsurprisingly similar outcome.

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# Can I be electric too? #

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Staff's main concern is for Gloria's heart, which has been set racing

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by the treacherous toaster.

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If someone's had an adequately enough shock,

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then potentially, it can knock your heart

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into a what we call a ventricular fibrillation,

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which is like a load of worms in a bag, that, like, your heart's literally doing this.

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Death can occur if it's not dealt with quick enough.

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-As if Gloria hadn't had enough of bread-related run-ins, Dr Baker pops up...

-Hello.

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..and gets right to the heart of the matter.

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We've given you a good check over, and your heart tracing and ECG

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-that we did is normal, and so I think we can give you a clear bill of health, really, from this.

-Right.

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But before he can discharge her, Dr Baker wants to check that Gloria hasn't fried her fingers.

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-Got any burns on there at all?

-No.

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-Or toasted her tootsies.

-Fine.

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When electricity passes through the body, it can cause burns at the entry and exit points.

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-I think we can let you go home.

-With the all-clear,

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-Gloria can head home, but will those pancakes still be waiting for her?

-Oh, I've eaten them.

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I had the sense to eat them.

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-And dinner tonight?

-Nothing toasted, that's for sure!

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No doubt she'll be heading home for a nice cup of cocoa to toast her good health.

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Time now to enter the Bizarre ER confessional.

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We've invited medics from across the land to share the funniest

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and freakiest things they've seen in A & E.

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These stories might sound far-fetched, but they're all 100% true.

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A gentleman attended who apparently had some delicate baubles on his Christmas tree, which had fallen off,

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and he didn't want these delicate baubles to get broken, so he thought it would be a good idea

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to put them on the mattress on his bed next to him, for safekeeping of course, as we all would.

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Unfortunately, during the middle of the night he happened to roll over onto said baubles,

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which unfortunately somehow ended up lodged in his rectum.

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So we had him X-rayed and it was very festive, lots of baubles

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lodged in the rectum, which obviously had to be removed.

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It can happen to you even when you're off duty.

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I was down a local pub watching a jazz band.

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They got a fella out of the audience, a sprightly 70-year-old, to join the band.

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He starts singing that fateful song, "I've Got A Whole Lot Of Living To Do."

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He does the first verse brilliantly, he starts the second verse, he drops dead.

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His head hits my table as he falls.

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Couldn't find a better fella to fall dead in front of.

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Got up, gave him cardiopulmonary resuscitation, ambulance arrives, couple of shocks, heart started.

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He's had his coronary artery bypass grafting, his defibrillator's in, and believe it or not, he's back singing.

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We're back at Northampton General, where, along with

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the smell of disinfectant, there's romance in the air.

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But the course of true love has not run smoothly for poor Oriel Jackson.

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She's arrived at A & E after a romantic encounter

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ended not with a candlelit supper, but with a diced digit.

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Started gushing out with big droplets of blood and went everywhere,

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all over the cream carpets.

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Oriel was at college, minding her own business, chomping chips, when she noticed she was being watched.

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What's your problem, then?

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Smitten by the sight of Oriel eating chips,

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the love-struck stranger approached

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and asked her what her favourite flowers were.

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-What's your favourite flowers?

-Lilies.

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Just moments later, the mysterious stranger was back with a bunch of lilies.

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Thanks, see ya later.

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Overwhelmed by the romantic gesture, Oriel headed home to arrange her bouquet.

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Once there, she ended up taking a kitchen knife to her finger as well as the flowers.

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Never one to overreact, Oriel screamed.

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Ahhh, I'm dying!

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Prompting her brother, who'd not quite grasped

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that this wasn't a real life-or-death emergency, to call for an ambulance.

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I'm dying! I'm dying!

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I sat there screaming "I'm dying" for about 20 minutes, half an hour maybe.

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If I do die, my hair's curly and my nails are done, so I should be all right.

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On hand to ensure that Oriel won't be dying in the cause of love is Nurse Maria Katlin...

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Let's have a look at your hand.

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..who gets a good look at Oriel's impressive talons.

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They're beautiful nails.

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-Thank you.

-Are they yours?

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-No.

-Oh, all right, then.

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..before inspecting the gash.

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Luckily, Oriel hasn't sliced to the bone, so she won't need surgery to fix the finger.

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-But there's still the risk of infection getting into the wound or the bloodstream.

-It's really sore.

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-So Nurse Maria first cleans out the cut with saline solution.

-All right?

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-It shouldn't sting.

-Before binding the wound using a Steri-strip.

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With no stitches, there's less chance of scarring and Oriel won't need to come back to A & E.

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I'm just going to press gently.

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Relieved to learn that her love wound isn't fatal, Oriel's mind moves onto more pressing matters.

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-Can I get my nails done tomorrow?

-Is that what you're worried about?

-Yeah.

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Just want to get my nails done.

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Yes, you can get your nails done.

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Unsurprisingly, she took the bouquet blunder as a sign that her mystery admirer wasn't Mr Right.

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-Thank you.

-You're very welcome.

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So while Oriel survived her trip to A & E, the fledgling romance was dead on arrival.

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Let's hope it hasn't put Oriel off love for life.

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Love is the most dangerous game to play.

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Don't play with it. It's not funny.

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Bizarre accidents aren't confined to Northampton.

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Across the UK, casualty departments are crammed with weird wounds and unusual ailments.

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Medics in Gloucestershire were confronted with a decidedly odd emergency

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when they went to the rescue of a woman who turned trauma into a fine art

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when she was skewered on her own sculpture.

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Squeamish viewers be warned -

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this story contains some gory images from the start.

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Most creators will suffer for their art, but none so much as Sophia Hughes,

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who fell and impaled herself on one of her very own creations.

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Sophia has been making art for 30 years.

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She first started in pottery, but now makes large sculptures using steel, wood and glass.

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I'm just used to looking at things, and I want to express it.

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This day in her home studio started just like any other.

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I'd got the radio on.

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-RADIO:

-'Welcome to Kent and to Sandringham, which was a medieval court.'

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It had just got onto Any Questions?

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I was up the ladder, which I'd been up hundreds of times before.

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But this day would end like no other before.

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At the foot of the ladder was a new sculpture called The Song of Experience.

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It was big, heavy and featured eight razor-sharp steel rods.

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'Marvellous...'

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I felt the ladder slide a bit from under me...

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...and then I tried to work out why my arm was stuck in the air.

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A knife-like steel rod plunged into her, skewering her from armpit to hand.

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The rod exited by her knuckles, extending an astonishing two feet

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past the end of her arm, leaving her like Wolverine.

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That's when I started taking deep breaths.

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This was very, very serious.

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Strangely, three days earlier, while meditating, Sophia had had an odd premonition.

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I became aware that something absolutely life-changing was coming.

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I was very scared.

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The huge metal rod impaled in her arm was very much a reality.

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It was also still attached to the massive sculpture.

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She lay helpless, trapped.

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Sophia contemplated sliding her arm off the pole.

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The pain would have had me pass out before I'd got even

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a quarter of the way there, so I knew that wasn't possible.

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Shouting for help would have been a precious waste of energy.

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-Sophia had only one choice.

-I've got to cut it.

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But what with?

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With pain searing through her arm, she reached for a file.

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I realised I was getting nowhere.

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Not giving up, Sophia was able to use a spirit level

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to try and reach her bolt cutters, but even they proved futile.

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-I couldn't do it.

-Things were getting desperate.

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Her mind would have to be stronger than steel.

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In the distance, a very small-looking saw lay on the ground.

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Sophia's last hope.

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Gritting her teeth, she began to cut...

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'I think it's about time we had another prime minister.'

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..each movement of the blade excruciating.

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'This needs change...

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'fundamental change.'

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There were very, very fine metal shards, like a dusting

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of metal powder, and so I knew I was getting somewhere.

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'The tragedy is...'

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A desperate Sophia tried to break the rod.

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It did absolutely nothing, and that was awful.

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'Freelance contractor.'

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It had been an agonising 50 minutes since the fall.

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Finally, she managed to cut through the rod.

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it was such a quiet moment.

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I just suddenly discovered I was free.

0:19:420:19:46

And then I realised that they'd moved on to Any Answers?

0:19:460:19:49

'Time now on Radio 4 for Any Answers? Your chance to phone...'

0:19:490:19:53

-Sophia began the small but painful journey to the phone.

-Out came this whisper.

0:19:530:19:57

Ambulance!

0:19:570:19:59

Suddenly, I was really seriously in danger of passing out.

0:20:000:20:04

A rapid-response vehicle arrived in minutes.

0:20:070:20:10

I went to introduce myself to Sophia.

0:20:100:20:12

I said "Hi, I'm Jules, I'm a... Whoa!"

0:20:120:20:14

It's amazing, it had actually missed a lot of the arteries and major blood vessels.

0:20:140:20:20

Potentially could have lost quite a lot of blood and gone into shock.

0:20:200:20:25

It can be very damaging. You can die from it.

0:20:250:20:27

Now the difficult task was how to get Sophia to hospital.

0:20:270:20:31

We decided to go in on blue lights, but very, very carefully and very, very steadily.

0:20:310:20:36

We walked into hospital with her arm up like this.

0:20:360:20:38

Everybody was looking where she was pointing!

0:20:380:20:41

In hospital, Sophia had some very unusual visitors.

0:20:430:20:48

Five firefighters and myself around near the bed.

0:20:480:20:52

-And they'd come to cut the other end off, the end that stuck out.

-The hacksaw was the tool of choice.

0:20:520:20:59

Poor guy cutting was being teased, especially when the saw got stuck.

0:20:590:21:04

At one stage, she gave us some helpful hints.

0:21:060:21:08

With the sharp edges gone, thanks to the fire department, it was safe for doctors

0:21:080:21:14

to figure out just how to get the metal rod out of Sophia's arm.

0:21:140:21:17

We were wondering a little whether it might be able to slide out

0:21:170:21:21

the way it had come in,

0:21:210:21:22

but it was readily apparent it wasn't going to do that.

0:21:220:21:25

The solution was simple, but squeamish viewers be warned...

0:21:250:21:29

it wasn't pretty.

0:21:290:21:31

Doctors opened the limb, slicing down the entire length of the arm.

0:21:310:21:35

We cut from the entry point, all the way down.

0:21:350:21:38

Just basically followed the rod.

0:21:380:21:40

The main thing we were concerned about was infection.

0:21:400:21:43

It was not just a rod, but it had been wrapped with copper wire that had been purposely corroded by her.

0:21:430:21:50

After the rod was removed, the wound was left open for two-and-a-half days

0:21:500:21:54

so doctors could be sure there was no infection.

0:21:540:21:58

It took 66 stitches to put Sophia's arm back together.

0:21:580:22:01

Amazingly, the rod had missed all her tendons, and Sophia still has full use of her arm and hand.

0:22:010:22:08

Five inches to the left, and I'd have impaled the whole of myself and I'd have died.

0:22:100:22:16

I feel as though this is the beginning of rethinking the way I live

0:22:160:22:20

and I'm enjoying it. It's great.

0:22:200:22:22

The art world may seem refined, but easels can be evil,

0:22:270:22:32

and even chisels can land you in the shizzle.

0:22:320:22:35

Poisonous palettes are one of the main problems, and Danish specialists

0:22:350:22:39

have identified a neurological condition brought on by long-term exposure to paint solvents...

0:22:390:22:45

It's thought that, down the ages, lead and other toxins in paint

0:22:490:22:53

are behind the famed artistic temperament,

0:22:530:22:55

-causing depression...

-What's your problem?

0:22:550:22:58

..irritability and odd behaviour in the likes of Van Gogh and Michelangelo.

0:22:580:23:02

I'll have your ear off next time!

0:23:020:23:04

Even if paint doesn't pain you,

0:23:040:23:05

there are plenty of other bizarre ways to make suffering a fine art.

0:23:050:23:10

British artist Mark McGowan cut short his attempt to remain

0:23:100:23:13

buried up to his neck on Margate beach for 48 hours

0:23:130:23:16

after seagulls started to dive-bomb at his head.

0:23:160:23:20

And Belgrade-born performance artist Marina Abramovic nearly went down in flames

0:23:210:23:26

after leaping into the centre of a giant burning wooden star

0:23:260:23:30

from which fire had sucked all the oxygen.

0:23:300:23:32

Collectors should note the value of her work didn't increase overnight,

0:23:320:23:36

as the stunt fortunately proved far from fatal.

0:23:360:23:39

Gallery-goers, as well as artists, risk life and limb,

0:23:390:23:42

such as the British tourists who,

0:23:420:23:44

while taking in the culture at a French chateau in Moulidars,

0:23:440:23:49

was savaged by a swarm of bees.

0:23:490:23:51

Or the casualties of Carsten Holler's Test Site.

0:23:510:23:54

This infamous installation of steel slides at Tate Modern

0:23:540:23:57

left three people with injured fingers

0:23:570:24:00

and one with a broken wrist.

0:24:000:24:03

Art. It's an ugly business.

0:24:030:24:06

Earlier in the show, we met Dean Taylor, who arrived at Northampton General A & E with a wonky ankle,

0:24:080:24:15

after spectacularly bending it like Beckham.

0:24:150:24:18

HE YELLS

0:24:180:24:20

Dean's faced an agonising wait

0:24:200:24:22

for the swelling to subside so that surgeons could fix his fractures.

0:24:220:24:26

Incredibly, it's now been ten days, and Dean still hasn't had surgery.

0:24:260:24:31

He's hoping today will be his lucky day.

0:24:310:24:34

OK, so the swelling's gone down enough that we can do the operation.

0:24:340:24:37

-You shall go to the ball. You can go home.

-Yeah, that's fine.

-Good!

0:24:370:24:41

Be glad to get this out the way, won't you?

0:24:410:24:44

With Dean under general anaesthetic, Mr Stock and his team are ready for kick-off.

0:24:440:24:49

OK.

0:24:490:24:51

Squeamish viewers who don't want to know the results of tonight's match should look away now.

0:24:510:24:56

MUSIC: Theme from Match Of The Day

0:24:560:24:59

Mr Stock begins by opening up the leg, revealing Dean's broken bones.

0:24:590:25:03

Hopefully it should fit together a bit like a jigsaw puzzle.

0:25:030:25:06

Dean's breaks are so serious, a series of screws and plates

0:25:060:25:10

are needed to help his ankle knit back together.

0:25:100:25:14

So this is just sterile carpentry really, with respect to Dean.

0:25:140:25:18

This is a screw going in, grips the far side, and as it engages,

0:25:180:25:24

it pulls them together. So I should be able to take this off and it'll hold it.

0:25:240:25:29

More screws are brought on to stabilise the tibia,

0:25:290:25:32

and a plate is then added to the fibula to beef up the defence.

0:25:320:25:38

As well as bones, Dean's also damaged a ligament,

0:25:380:25:42

and to compensate for that he'll need a different bit of kit.

0:25:420:25:45

You need the bones to heal together to move properly.

0:25:450:25:48

At the moment, they're damaged, so they're moving too much,

0:25:480:25:51

so we use this thing called a tightrope, which is a strong, wire-like structure.

0:25:510:25:56

The tightrope wire is threaded through the two bones.

0:25:560:25:58

Toggles at each end anchor it firmly in place once it's tied off by the surgeon.

0:25:580:26:03

And there you are. Beforehand, when I pulled, it moved up in here.

0:26:030:26:09

It's not moving now.

0:26:090:26:11

It's bizarre.

0:26:110:26:12

With the final whistle not far off, Mr Stock moves into the closing stages of Dean's op.

0:26:150:26:21

So all we've got to do now is to close over the skin, and you can see it's relatively tight now.

0:26:210:26:26

If we'd tried if when it was very swollen in the early days,

0:26:260:26:29

-we wouldn't have got it back together again.

-And with the would sewn up, it's full-time.

0:26:290:26:36

We'll check his wounds tomorrow. All being well,

0:26:360:26:38

put him into a full plaster and he'll be home in a few days' time.

0:26:380:26:42

He's a young, fit man, so he'll be all right on crutches.

0:26:420:26:45

Back up on the ward, Mum's ready and waiting for some post-match analysis.

0:26:450:26:50

Just come to see Dean. Very groggy, very grumpy, I'd say.

0:26:500:26:53

I think he really wants a good night's sleep, so hopefully today's morphine will do the job for him.

0:26:530:26:59

As Dean gets back in the game, there's just one thing on his mind...tonight's Man United match.

0:26:590:27:05

If I'm not awake at 7.45 tonight I will not be happy.

0:27:050:27:09

SHE LAUGHS

0:27:090:27:12

For us, as a family, it's such a relief.

0:27:120:27:15

Hopefully, by the end of the year, he'll be back playing football.

0:27:150:27:20

It'll be around six months before Dean's back on the road to Sunday League glory.

0:27:200:27:25

For now, his family are just glad that he's coming home.

0:27:250:27:28

# It's coming home, it's coming... #

0:27:280:27:31

As Dean's story comes to a close, so does this series.

0:27:340:27:38

Dean's the last in a long line of casualties

0:27:380:27:41

who've been patched up and put back together by the staff at our two hospitals.

0:27:410:27:45

So while we're away, remember - however bizarre your blunder,

0:27:450:27:50

-whatever the time of day...

-Whoa, OK.

0:27:500:27:53

..the doctors and nurses of Britain will be there to make it all better.

0:27:530:27:57

Thanks very much, everybody. See you later!

0:27:570:28:00

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0:28:040:28:07

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0:28:070:28:10

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