One Year Check Up Junior Doctors: Your Life in Their Hands


One Year Check Up

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Summer 2010,

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and seven junior doctors hit the wards of Newcastle's hospitals.

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Cardiac arrest.

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One year later, as they're about to move on,

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they're getting together for one last time.

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The sad thing about it all being over is,

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a year down the line, we are all moving apart.

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They'll recall the tough times.

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It was just so daunting on so many levels.

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-I felt like a rabbit in headlights, to be honest.

-The fun times.

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-# I really need you tonight! #

-Their most memorable moments.

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Someone says, "You're the girl with the toilet brush!"

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And I was like, "I was not WITH the toilet brush!"

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-That is on fire!

-It was like, oh, my God, everybody, it's a fire.

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And moments they'd rather forget.

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Suzi is going to murder me, but there is a moment with a chip.

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Cos you know, you've got...

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What they learnt.

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If you're nervous, you have to hide it as much as you can.

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-Has he ever done it?

-Oh, yeah, he's done it before.

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The nurses are our lifesavers.

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And where they're going next.

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I think it's time to go back to Hong Kong, where I come from.

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Just to not messing up too badly.

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August 2010, and these seven junior doctors were about to embark

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on one of the most challenging times of their lives.

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They were joining thousands of other junior doctors across the UK

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who were starting work on the wards for the first time.

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One year on, they're coming together for the last time.

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I'm doing a little bit more in terms of seeing patients

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and making decisions.

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Now I do feel more like a doctor than I did.

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At the end of the year you're like, I kind of know what's going on.

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I know what I'm supposed to do and I know how to do it.

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I've changed loads. It's completely different

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-from the start of the year.

-I feel more like a doctor, but I think

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that's because as I've improved throughout the year

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people are treating me more like one.

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Maybe you just give the wrong impression.

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I think we've all learned a lot about medicine

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and a lot about ourselves and how we deal with situations,

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-and that's all really good experience.

-Yeah.

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Has anyone mastered the art of being in four places at once yet?

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-No, I think you eventually...

-Eventually, you'll have a junior doctor underneath and you can.

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You can delegate that.

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12 months earlier, they were far less confident.

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I just keep telling myself that there's literally

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tens of thousands of people in exactly my position

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that will be going on the wards

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and at least one of those people...

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at least one of those people will make a worse mistake than me.

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Fresh out of med school were the first years

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Adam, Lucy and Katherine.

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It's the sort of profession

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where people don't want to know if you're a beginner.

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You'll never be ready. You have to deal with it.

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Sharing a house with them were second years,

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Andy, Suzi, Jon and Keir.

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I'm absolutely scared witless as well.

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And they'd already had a year's experience on the wards.

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You can make mistakes and people can die.

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And that's scary. Scares me quite a lot.

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Day one.

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Adam, Lucy and Katherine had only graduated a few weeks before.

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Would it be possible to take that blood from you?

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One of their first responsibilities was to take blood.

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Just tap on you to see if I can get them to stand up a bit better, OK?

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When you first start to take blood,

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you pray for somebody who's got veins you can see

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from the other side of the room and can practically get with a dart.

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That's kind of how I feel and how I felt

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when I first started taking blood on the wards.

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You dreaded the time the nurses said,

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they're difficult to get blood from.

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And first year Katherine was about to encounter such a case.

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The arm's quite swollen. I think it'll be quite difficult.

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I just can't see or feel the vein at all.

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If you're nervous, you have to try

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and hide it as much as you can.

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I don't think it helps the patient if...

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if it looks like you don't know what you're doing.

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I don't want to take it out of that arm.

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I could do your foot.

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-I can see a little one here.

-If you put a tourniquet on...

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Yeah. I'll put a tourniquet on. It's quite small.

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I don't know if I can make it bigger, though, with the tourniquet.

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I'm really not convinced this is going to work.

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'When you've been lying in bed with your feet up for three days

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'it's not so easy to get blood out of.'

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No, that's not going to go. Sorry about that.

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It's quite embarrassing to say I can't get blood.

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She was actually, um,

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a nurse herself, so she completely sympathised with me

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and so, you know, obviously I felt awful about it

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but I tried not to beat myself up too much about it.

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I think Katherine demonstrated one example of something

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that we all struggle with at some point.

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And if it's not blood taking, it might be something else.

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First year Adam HAD managed to take blood.

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Bit of a bruise, sorry.

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But struggled in other areas.

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Do you know what Addison's disease is?

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Do you know what the original Addison's disease was?

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Um... I'm trying to think of whether it was ac...

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Is the original Addis...Addison's disease from, er, the pi...

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-No, it's a primary, isn't it?

-Yeah.

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Do you know what I'm thinking of?

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Um, anyway, never mind. Another endocrine.

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Go on. So, it's primary adrenal failure

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and what did Addison describe on postmortem in the adrenal glands?

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What was actually causing adrenal destruction?

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-Was it an au... was it an autoimmune...?

-No.

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-It was TB...

-TB's...

-..of the adrenal glands.

-..the most worldwide.

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I'm sure I could talk about that in length now.

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However, at the time,

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I was under so much pressure to make a good impression,

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it just went straight out of my head.

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If I am asked on my first day what is Addison's disease,

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I will tell that it's something that Dr Biani does not know what it is.

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I didn't come out with it and it didn't sound right

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and I looked like a fool.

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I just felt like I'd made a really bad first impression.

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-I think you're too harsh on yourself.

-Am I? Oh.

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Second year Suzi might have had a year's experience on the wards,

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but her new placement was in A&E and she was scared.

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I woke up that day and I felt terrible

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and I just thought, I do not want to go in today and start in A&E.

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First days are petrifying

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and I think in our job, it's just a million times worse.

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A&E lived up to its reputation.

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Suzi's first case was a cardiac arrest.

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It was like, "Go!

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"Cardiac arrest, go!" And I was like, "Ahhhh! A&E!"

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BEEPING

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We're waiting for a cardiac arrest call to come in

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so everyone's just waiting, ready to go.

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I'm just trying to get all my bits and pieces gathered.

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'Inside I just thought, oh, this is just the scariest thing.'

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-Suzi, are you happy to pulse check?

-Yeah.

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-Yeah, OK. Are you happy to shock?

-Can do.

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-I haven't shocked anyone before.

-You haven't?

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-No.

-OK. All right, we'll show you, then. OK.

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Looking back, it seems just getting through A&E

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felt like a very long time. Like a lifetime!

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SIREN WAILS

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He arrested in an ambulance.

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The paramedics shocked him out of ETAC, he's now in sinus rhythm

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with a blood pressure of 114/82, but he's...

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he remains unconscious.

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We're in. I haven't got much blood off.

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I'll get some more on the other side as well.

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The patient was unconscious, but his body was writhing

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because of the shortage of oxygen to his brain, a difficult first case for Suzi.

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If you come round to that side,

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the cricoid ring is underneath the Adam's apple.

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When he starts to go to sleep, direct pressure backwards into the bed.

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HE GROANS

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All right. You're all right, well done.

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OK.

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30 minutes in, the patient was stabilised

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and Suzi had passed her first big challenge.

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I guess it's better to be thrown in at the deep end,

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because you think, if can do that on my first day, I can do anything.

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I think Suzi did really well, you know, kept a cool head,

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did things expected of her and she did them well.

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But I was glad that not every day was as tough as my first day.

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Some of them were, but others weren't as bad, thankfully.

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Some nice deep breaths in and out through the mouth.

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Second year Jon's new role was stressful too.

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I'm Dr Barclay, I'm one of the doctors

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at the Emergency Admissions Unit at the RVI.

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As well as working on one of the most demanding wards

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in the hospital, he was also part of the hospital's crash team.

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That's scary because the first couple of minutes

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of a cardiac arrest are important.

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Cardiac arrest!

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If his alarm went off, it meant a medical emergency

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and he had to get there quickly.

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This time, the patient had gone into cardiac arrest and her heart was failing.

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The patient had no pulse.

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Jon started chest compressions to keep blood flowing around the body.

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Yeah, 29, 30.

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But with no heartbeat, time was running out.

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The team had done everything they could.

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Thanks, guys.

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You go through a range of emotions. There's obviously, sadness,

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that someone's passed away, and someone's life's ended.

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Frustration that you have all this training

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and there's thousands and thousands of pounds

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have been invested in you as a doctor

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and nothing that you can do or, you know, think about,

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will be able to change the outcome for this patient.

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You get your first experience of failing to save somebody

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very quickly and very abruptly.

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First year Lucy was about to learn this herself,

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working with some acutely ill patients on the gastro ward.

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I am quite a sensitive and emotional person

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and I saw some lovely patients who were really unwell

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and I found it very difficult in my first job.

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As part of her ongoing training,

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Lucy would accompany consultant Dr Gun on the ward round.

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And what is it you've been noticing?

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First of all I completely lost my appetite.

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-I think I've lost at least a stone and a half.

-OK.

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Your tummy then, when did that start to swell up?

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I'm not sure, but it's got increasingly worse.

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The patient had a number of tests to determine the problem.

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Lucy helped Dr Gun assess the X-ray.

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Bowel-wise there looks like gaseous dilation on the left-hand side.

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But here, there's this...

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this sort of central dilated small bowel.

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And we know she's obstructing radiologically,

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and clinically, cos she's acutely distended.

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So, she's in trouble. I need to assess her clinically,

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but my gut feeling is, we should be conservative -

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this is only going to get worse.

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There isn't an operation to help with this,

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palliative or otherwise.

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Dr Gun made the final diagnosis - pancreatic cancer.

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In this case, the condition was terminal.

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The patient was just a lovely, lovely lady.

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She was cheerful, happy,

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and we were about to literally destroy that glint in her eye.

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I put myself in her shoes and thought,

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how do you deal with someone telling you that information?

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Dr Gun had to break the news, and Lucy accompanied her.

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This poor lady we've seen today

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has been told some of the worst news...

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well, the worst news that she's ever going to hear, ever.

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Her life has literally been taken away from her like that.

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And she's just been told, right, you're going to go home to die.

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It's awful. So...

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Yeah, anyway...

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Is there anything else you want me to do for her today?

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Is it all sorted?

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-You all right?

-Yeah. Fine.

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Sure? I know, it's sad, isn't it?

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She's...she's got good family support, which helps a lot,

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and we'll get her feeling better.

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The most important thing now is quality of life,

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which we can definitely improve.

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I'm fine.

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I know, it's horrible, and the difficulty is...

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I was all right and suddenly it sort of just came over me.

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That's all right and I won't be nice cos that'll make it worse.

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All right.

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-Thank you. But that's it for today?

-Yeah, thanks, Lucy.

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Brilliant, OK, no problem. It's all right.

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What I hoped was I would perhaps be able to hide my emotions a bit more at work.

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You don't expect your doctor on the wards to get upset or to cry over you

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or over their patients, but at the same time

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we all have those emotions and we all really care.

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That's why we do the job.

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Are you OK?

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Just knackered and had a shit day.

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It's one thing caring within yourself and it's another thing

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actually showing that and, you know,

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you could just hug and kiss Lucy when you see her crying about a patient,

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you know, cos she's sincere with it.

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It just left me completely drained.

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I sort of sat there and I was just like...

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So, anyway, that was my day.

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Do you need a hug?

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Maybe. Thanks.

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I honestly think it should get to you.

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I know it sounds weird

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but I think the day that you stop being affected

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by the amount of suffering that's going on around you is probably the day you should leave.

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With more experience of kind of death and dying and people being unwell

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you never accept it, but you find better coping mechanisms.

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So, you... It's not that you care less,

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it's that maybe you deal with it better.

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I now understand more that, you know,

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medicine isn't about being a superhero.

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It's about being a good doctor and doing the best you can for someone,

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even if eventually that means, unfortunately, you can't save their life.

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Being a junior doctor is a very stressful job.

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They worked hard and they played hard too.

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We work weekends and evenings and things like that

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so the time we do have off is quite precious

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and we like to use it wisely.

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And no-one played harder than Jon.

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The thing is, right, Jon Barclay is a rugby player.

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And he's a drummer.

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He's always on an adrenaline rush.

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# Jon Barclay is a horse's arse. #

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THEY CHEER

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I tried to fill my spare time, as it was,

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with as many extracurricular activities as I could.

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Rugby kind of has a bit of a niche

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for people of my size and with my abilities.

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It can be hard to fit in with my schedule sometimes.

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The time constraints of the job make it hard, but my job's my job,

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but this is kind of my fun.

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# Jon Barclay You suffer from morbid obesity

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# And you're gonna die young Jon Barclay! #

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On top of a jam-packed social life, Jon also had to revise.

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I'm studying at the moment for my first part of my surgical exams.

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I've got a pretty thick book

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to revise from,

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and I've got two of these to get through.

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But Jon also worked on

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one of the most demanding wards in the hospital, the Emergency Assessment Unit.

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He needs bloods, he needs bloods, he needs bloods, oh.

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The combination of hectic social life, revision

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and a week of night duty meant one thing.

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Jon was exhausted.

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The time is now quarter to four in the morning.

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Really, it was kind of my decision as to how far I thought I could push myself,

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how much I thought I had left in the tank as to how much extra stuff I could fit in.

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I booked my exam before I knew what my rota was and that was the pro...

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that is the risk you take

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and it came back to bite me in the ass a bit, really.

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Right, I'd better see this lady.

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Where is she?

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Left.

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Hello. My name's Jon, I'm one of the doctors.

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This has been the busiest three days I've had as a doctor, I think.

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In just a few days, Jon would be facing his surgical exam,

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but even that didn't stop him.

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In three hours' time I've got rugby training

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and then I've got my last night.

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So, I'm pretty tired. I might just go and fall asleep.

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Exam results.

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There was a price to pay for Jon's ethos of work hard, play harder.

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Right,

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I didn't pass.

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Priorities have shifted. I'm not captain any more, so that takes a bit of pressure off.

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But then my relationship with my girlfriend's now pretty serious

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so maybe any free time that I could have generated by not doing rugby

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now I'll spend with her, so I'm always...

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I'm always finding stuff to do.

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He might have failed the surgery exam first time around

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but Jon's not giving up.

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I think the future for me, I'm still hoping to become a surgeon,

0:20:490:20:53

so I'll try and do orthopaedics, which is broken bones

0:20:530:20:56

and, you know, mangled knees and things like that.

0:20:560:20:59

And do that for a year and see where that takes me.

0:20:590:21:03

Although most of the housemates knew one another before the series,

0:21:060:21:11

living together cemented their friendship.

0:21:110:21:13

Ultimately, one of the most important traits in any doctor is maturity.

0:21:130:21:19

Take that off.

0:21:190:21:21

I think we all got on really well in the house, actually.

0:21:210:21:24

You're gross.

0:21:240:21:27

Oh...!

0:21:270:21:28

I think the most likely person to keep everyone entertained in the house is Keir.

0:21:280:21:32

I was thinking of opening a bottle of fizzy.

0:21:320:21:34

I think you'd have to say Jon!

0:21:390:21:42

Probably a combination of Keir and Jon together.

0:21:420:21:44

Yeah, yeah, Keir and Jon together,

0:21:440:21:47

cos Keir alone's one thing,

0:21:470:21:48

Jon alone he'll just sit down and eat something,

0:21:480:21:50

but then when they're together, singing, piano.

0:21:500:21:53

-They're a double act. Yeah.

-They're a double act.

0:21:530:21:56

# Turn around Every now and then I get... #

0:21:560:22:00

So, it's like Laurel and Hardy, you know.

0:22:000:22:02

Yeah. Hale and Pace.

0:22:020:22:04

Yeah, Trinny and Susannah.

0:22:040:22:06

# Turn around, bright eyes Every now and then... #

0:22:060:22:09

Oh, sorry, sorry.

0:22:090:22:11

That's one for the outtakes.

0:22:110:22:12

Jon actually is a very talented singer.

0:22:120:22:16

Yeah, and he's a pretty good pianist as well. He carried my awful singing.

0:22:160:22:20

# We'll only be making it right

0:22:200:22:23

# I really need you tonight... #

0:22:230:22:25

And it seemed that Adam wanted to get to know one of the housemates

0:22:250:22:31

better than the others.

0:22:310:22:32

How does this girl, who was never in my life previously,

0:22:320:22:35

now still not really in my life.

0:22:350:22:37

I think I had good chemistry with Suzi.

0:22:370:22:39

I think she's a nice girl, she had a good personality,

0:22:390:22:42

I got on with her well,

0:22:420:22:44

and she's an attractive girl.

0:22:440:22:46

-Can I have your number?

-Can you have...

0:22:460:22:48

OK, I've already got it.

0:22:480:22:50

-You've already got my number.

-Can I have a kiss?

0:22:500:22:53

Suzi is, you know, bubbly and cute and good looking and outgoing, so that helps.

0:22:530:22:57

Suzi is going to possibly murder me for bringing this up, but there is a moment with a chip.

0:22:570:23:02

Oh, look at that.

0:23:020:23:04

Which looks a little bit Lady and the Tramp.

0:23:040:23:08

I love pepper.

0:23:100:23:11

Dirty laundry.

0:23:270:23:30

Public.

0:23:300:23:31

Don't look at me.

0:23:340:23:35

-Well, I just...

-Don't say Adam and look at me.

0:23:350:23:38

-Well, I don't know because, you know, you've got...

-Don't feed me things!

0:23:380:23:41

Just because I ate a chip out of Adam's hand,

0:23:430:23:46

-I got the rumour mill spinning around.

-Oh, I know.

0:23:460:23:50

Nothing happened with me and Adam.

0:23:520:23:55

I'm sorry to disappoint everyone.

0:23:550:23:56

Adam's lovely, but he's just not my kind of guy.

0:23:590:24:02

But it wasn't discussions of Suzi's love life that took up most of the time.

0:24:070:24:12

It was discussions about the state of her bedroom.

0:24:130:24:16

Suzi is a delight to live with, an absolute delight,

0:24:180:24:22

as long as you don't go anywhere near her bedroom.

0:24:220:24:25

I mean, I have seldom seen anywhere that has been "tidied"

0:24:250:24:30

and is as suitable for animal habitation.

0:24:300:24:34

There'd be stuff on the floor that wouldn't move because it was superglued to the floor

0:24:340:24:39

because it had been there for so long, it had moulded into the floor.

0:24:390:24:42

Bombsite.

0:24:420:24:44

You can't see your feet.

0:24:440:24:45

Yeah, it was like a pink version of Basra.

0:24:450:24:48

Her parents tidied if for her.

0:24:500:24:51

I haven't had time to tidy.

0:24:510:24:54

Da-daa!

0:24:540:24:55

Oh, Suzi. Oh, Suzi.

0:24:550:24:58

Right, bin liner and skip, Suzi.

0:24:580:25:00

I'm just wondering why I can't find anywhere to walk.

0:25:000:25:04

I've done... I was up till one o'clock tidying last night.

0:25:050:25:09

Wash, wash.

0:25:090:25:11

-What's this here for?

-I was cleaning a surface.

0:25:110:25:13

You keep telling us that normal life is impossible.

0:25:130:25:17

Normal life IS impossible.

0:25:170:25:19

Last week I worked five 14-hour shifts and two 12-hour shifts.

0:25:190:25:24

I then came home, went to sleep, got up, had a shower,

0:25:240:25:27

ate, like, some chocolate and then went back to work again.

0:25:270:25:31

-I'm a messy person, OK.

-Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

0:25:310:25:34

And I can accept that I am messy and untidy at home.

0:25:340:25:37

I can assure everyone that at work, I'm very organised.

0:25:370:25:41

If I had to choose whether to be organised at work or at home,

0:25:410:25:44

I'd rather be organised at work, so my excuse...

0:25:440:25:47

-Can you not choose whether to be organised or whether to be disorganised?

-No...!

0:25:470:25:51

-That's the decision I made.

-My mum can't understand how I can be one and not be the other.

0:25:510:25:55

-But it's true.

-I'm on her side.

0:25:550:25:57

-You're on my mum's side? Thank you.

-Yeah, I'm sorry.

0:25:570:26:00

Oops. Can I just get back into bed for the rest of the day?

0:26:000:26:04

Your room looks like you've spent the last week in bed anyway.

0:26:040:26:07

I don't want you to overdo it today. I don't want you to get stressed out.

0:26:070:26:12

-Let's go and crack this egg open.

-Right, Suzi, coffee time.

0:26:120:26:16

I'm messy but I've always been messy and I know that...

0:26:160:26:20

I've had lots of people comment on it and go, "Oh, my god, you're so messy!

0:26:200:26:24

"I can't believe that you're that untidy."

0:26:240:26:28

I am. People need to just get over it!

0:26:280:26:32

Even though some of them were living like teenagers...

0:26:360:26:41

the first years were getting grown-up salaries for the first time.

0:26:410:26:45

The average junior doctor gets paid about £30,000 a year,

0:26:450:26:48

so it is quite nice to be paid, as shallow as that sounds.

0:26:480:26:51

Please be paid, please be paid.

0:26:510:26:54

I'm the only one who hasn't received a pay slip.

0:26:540:26:56

I think that I gave them the wrong...the wrong National Insurance number.

0:26:590:27:04

Yes, I got paid! Sweet.

0:27:080:27:10

Having actually £99 in credit was just awesome.

0:27:100:27:13

I was like, I've not been in credit for years. This is brilliant.

0:27:130:27:17

I have more debt now than I finished medical school with.

0:27:170:27:21

Because as your gains increase, your expenditure increases as well.

0:27:210:27:24

As fully paid up doctors, they had to learn to be professional

0:27:270:27:32

at all times, whatever they encountered.

0:27:320:27:36

Tell me about what's been going on, then.

0:27:360:27:39

Basically, I went to the bathroom about 2.30,

0:27:390:27:41

-3 o'clock this morning.

-Yep.

0:27:410:27:43

I've just moved into the property so I haven't got carpets throughout.

0:27:430:27:46

My bathroom floor was a bit wet, I slid off the toilet seat.

0:27:460:27:50

Right next to the toilet seat was a toilet brush

0:27:500:27:52

and I've landed literally on it.

0:27:520:27:55

The patient said he's slipped in his bathroom

0:27:550:27:58

and landed on the toilet brush, which was now stuck up his bottom.

0:27:580:28:02

Have you been able to get any of it out?

0:28:020:28:04

Has any of it broken off at all?

0:28:040:28:06

No, right.

0:28:060:28:08

And you just tried kind of pulling at it and things?

0:28:080:28:11

Tried easing it in the shower.

0:28:110:28:14

But it just seemed it was catching and...

0:28:140:28:17

HE GROANS IN PAIN

0:28:170:28:18

I'm sorry.

0:28:180:28:19

Back up again, all right?

0:28:210:28:24

-It brings tears to your eyes, I tell you.

-I'm sure it does.

0:28:240:28:27

I'm sorry to embarrass you today, ladies.

0:28:270:28:29

-Don't be silly, it's fine.

-I'm more embarrassed myself.

0:28:290:28:34

Back in a second, all right. I'll get you some painkillers.

0:28:340:28:37

There was a danger that the toilet brush had torn a hole in his bowel

0:28:370:28:41

and if this wasn't treated, he could have died.

0:28:410:28:44

Really fast, James. This man, he's had some PR bleeding around it.

0:28:440:28:48

-Toilet brush stuck up...

-I can't see how much more of it there is.

0:28:480:28:52

-Do we give him an X-ray first?

-Is it...? Right...

0:28:520:28:55

-Is it actually poking out the end?

-Mmm.

0:28:550:28:58

Can you see the...?

0:28:580:29:00

-It's like...

-I think that probably needs referring to the surgeons.

0:29:000:29:04

That's fine, that's what I thought.

0:29:040:29:07

Someone needs to pull it out, but if it's been bleeding...

0:29:070:29:10

-I would refer it to them and let them take it out.

-That's fine.

0:29:100:29:13

Looking back, keeping a straight face was so hard but, you know,

0:29:130:29:19

it's my job to sort out what's going on with that patient.

0:29:190:29:22

-We need to get you an X-ray done, OK?

-Right.

0:29:220:29:26

To make sure that there's no hole in the bowel.

0:29:260:29:28

But it was so hard for him to come into A&E.

0:29:280:29:31

'It would have been mean to laugh in his face.'

0:29:310:29:33

So, if I leave you to get sorted and then I'll come back

0:29:330:29:37

and then we'll get a porter to bring you round to X-ray, OK.

0:29:370:29:40

-Champion.

-Is that all right?

0:29:400:29:42

'I haven't had anything else kind of embarrassing happen.'

0:29:420:29:46

But there's worse things I could have done in my career, I think.

0:29:460:29:50

Potentially.

0:29:500:29:51

But for first year Adam, who always wanted to be a doctor, the thrills of A&E seemed a long way away.

0:29:540:30:00

I was jealous of Suzi in the thick of it in A&E.

0:30:000:30:05

As a first year doctor, I was doing simpler tasks.

0:30:050:30:08

Oh, God, what's the dose of that?

0:30:080:30:10

I forgot what she said.

0:30:100:30:12

I had massive ambition

0:30:140:30:15

and I wanted to, you know, save the world and do all that kind of stuff

0:30:150:30:19

and I was doing paperwork.

0:30:190:30:21

Um...

0:30:210:30:23

One gram.

0:30:230:30:25

OK, so that's TDS. TDS means three times a day.

0:30:250:30:28

It felt like I was drowning in it.

0:30:330:30:34

At one point, I think I was in a back room for eight hours

0:30:340:30:38

just doing discharges.

0:30:380:30:40

Mm...

0:30:400:30:42

And I did not see a patient all day.

0:30:420:30:44

And that's when I wanted to quit!

0:30:440:30:46

60 to 70% of the job's probably paperwork, I reckon.

0:30:490:30:53

I think people watch Casualty and ER and Holby City and think,

0:30:530:30:57

you know, the life of a junior doctor is running round saving lives

0:30:570:31:00

and actually, most of what we do is pretty mundane.

0:31:000:31:03

And when Adam wasn't doing paperwork, he was taking blood.

0:31:050:31:09

Bloods or paperwork?

0:31:090:31:10

Back at the house, Adam let off steam.

0:31:190:31:22

Guys, I don't think being a doctor's all it's cracked up to be.

0:31:220:31:25

It's just being, you know, like a ward bitch.

0:31:250:31:28

You're saying that you feel experienced enough to be a doctor.

0:31:280:31:31

Do you feel ready to give somebody the diagnosis

0:31:310:31:35

-that they've only got three weeks to live?

-Yes.

0:31:350:31:38

Are you sure you can tell someone they've only got weeks to live,

0:31:380:31:41

because that took me a long time

0:31:410:31:44

to actually have the courage to say that to somebody.

0:31:440:31:47

It's not easy.

0:31:470:31:48

There's nothing more I can do without actually being a doctor,

0:31:480:31:51

so yeah, I do feel ready.

0:31:510:31:53

I need the experience now to hone my skills and to..

0:31:530:31:58

I think it's quite dangerous, in a sense, to have that...

0:31:580:32:03

that understandable confidence that says, I'm ready to be a doctor.

0:32:030:32:08

These are the sort of things that you only get from...decades of experience.

0:32:080:32:13

That is on fire!

0:32:130:32:15

It was just a hilarious moment where Keir was like,

0:32:220:32:26

"You think you can tell someone that they have days to live?"

0:32:260:32:30

And, "Oh, my God, it's a fire! Everybody, it's a fire!"

0:32:300:32:35

Everybody, flap, flap, and then he just came with this fire blanket

0:32:350:32:39

and just threw the fire blanket on the sizzling piece of paper.

0:32:390:32:43

It was just the worst and best timing ever.

0:32:430:32:47

A year on, Adam has been doing jobs in intensive care,

0:32:470:32:52

doing all sorts of procedures on very critically ill people

0:32:520:32:56

and learning an awful lot about complex medicine.

0:32:560:33:00

Now I do the same amount of paperwork,

0:33:000:33:02

but my job's really different

0:33:020:33:03

and I feel like I have a lot of clinical responsibilities

0:33:030:33:07

and, you know, that's really nice, so I don't mind.

0:33:070:33:11

It's just the amount of the day it took up and the fact that I was rubbish at it as well.

0:33:110:33:15

Whilst Adam came to terms with the realities of the job,

0:33:150:33:20

all of the junior doctors were beginning to realise

0:33:200:33:23

the benefits of working as a team.

0:33:230:33:25

The nurses are your best friends and they have to be.

0:33:270:33:30

They are life-savers, to be honest.

0:33:300:33:33

They were there to support us, they were there to give you advice.

0:33:330:33:37

I always make a point of saying, "I know you're new,

0:33:370:33:40

"it must be horrible.

0:33:400:33:41

"If there's anything you're unsure of, ask."

0:33:410:33:44

-Did you know you could get medical degrees off iPhones?

-Um...

0:33:440:33:49

SHE LAUGHS

0:33:490:33:51

I think any way you can build rapport with the people that you work with is good

0:33:510:33:56

because you need to build relationships

0:33:560:33:59

to kind of work effectively as a team.

0:33:590:34:02

Get your bloods done?

0:34:020:34:04

But good communication skills didn't come naturally for second year Andy.

0:34:040:34:10

I found that I didn't fit in immediately in the beginning

0:34:100:34:14

and it took me a while to understand.

0:34:140:34:17

We work well on here cos we work as part of a team and we expect

0:34:170:34:21

good communication, and if you're not prepared to communicate

0:34:210:34:24

and work within the team then you get pretty short shrift,

0:34:240:34:27

particularly if it's busy.

0:34:270:34:29

When it came to treating his patients,

0:34:290:34:32

Andy knew what he wanted to do

0:34:320:34:34

and had to consult his seniors.

0:34:340:34:37

But he sometimes left the nurses out of the loop.

0:34:370:34:43

What's your plan for him?

0:34:430:34:46

My current plan is to get bloods and get X-ray.

0:34:460:34:48

-Have you spoken to orthopaedics?

-Not yet.

0:34:480:34:51

I'm asking our reg to have a look at him first and see what he thinks.

0:34:510:34:55

Then orthopods would ask for an X-ray before they would.

0:34:550:34:59

'I like to have a good idea of the characters around

0:34:590:35:01

'before I interact with them.'

0:35:010:35:04

It, in strange way, helps me be professional.

0:35:050:35:10

Andy tries to come over as very professional

0:35:120:35:16

and, for him, professionalism is kind of being slightly detached.

0:35:160:35:19

Sometimes you've got to grab him by the scruff of the neck

0:35:190:35:22

and say, "For goodness sake lighten up!"

0:35:220:35:24

The nurses on Andy's ward didn't give up on him

0:35:240:35:27

and devised a plan to make him part of the team.

0:35:270:35:31

We're having a ward night out

0:35:310:35:33

and we just wondered if you'd fancy joining us, Andy?

0:35:330:35:36

-You made it sound more scary than it should be.

-No, it's not scary.

0:35:360:35:40

No, not just me and you on a night out. An actual ward night out.

0:35:400:35:43

-I got that bit.

-There's nothing to be scared about.

0:35:430:35:46

-Yes, I would love to.

-A really nice bonding session to get to know you.

0:35:460:35:50

And then you can see what we're like when we're out socially.

0:35:500:35:54

'The ward is very social but he's not been out with us yet.'

0:35:540:35:57

We're going to take him round town and get him into the mood of things.

0:35:570:36:00

Working on a ward is all about building relationships

0:36:000:36:04

and whether you do that with a pen in your hand or a drink in your hand

0:36:040:36:07

-is neither here nor there.

-I'll be in a bad state tomorrow, but yeah, what the hell.

0:36:070:36:13

And after a few drinks, a very different Andy emerged.

0:36:160:36:19

It's great having Andy out. A good character.

0:36:190:36:22

He's having a great laugh and I think we're getting to know the real Andy.

0:36:220:36:26

I think you had some impressive dance moves there, Andy.

0:36:310:36:34

All I think is, now the whole nation knows I can not dance.

0:36:340:36:38

Andy obviously has his own style, which we appreciate,

0:36:470:36:50

and that's something we'll just have to improve on in the future.

0:36:500:36:54

The night has been amazing.

0:36:560:36:58

I never knew how much fun the people I work with are outside work.

0:36:580:37:05

-OK, one drink.

-One drink.

0:37:050:37:08

Andy has now finished his junior doctor training in Newcastle

0:37:080:37:12

and has decided to make a big move.

0:37:120:37:14

I've lived in Britain for 12 years now.

0:37:140:37:17

I love the country, but I think it's time to go back

0:37:170:37:21

to Hong Kong, where I come from.

0:37:210:37:23

I don't think I'll ever leave medicine.

0:37:230:37:25

I just can't think of a career that I would enjoy more

0:37:250:37:30

than what I'm doing right now.

0:37:300:37:32

You're cold? Well, can I open up this blanket a bit for you

0:37:350:37:38

so it's a bit more round you?

0:37:380:37:40

A few months into their rotations,

0:37:400:37:42

the junior doctors were starting to find their place in the team

0:37:420:37:46

and even forge relationships with some of the longer-term patients.

0:37:460:37:50

One of the challenges I faced when I first got onto the wards

0:37:500:37:53

was learning how to communicate with patients.

0:37:530:37:55

You have to learn quickly.

0:37:550:37:57

Margaret, where are you going with your table?

0:37:570:38:01

-Just down there.

-I'll take it back for you, if you like.

0:38:010:38:04

'We had a lovely lady on Ward 48 when I was on there called Margaret

0:38:040:38:08

'who had come in with various things but had a background of dementia.'

0:38:080:38:13

Oh, Margaret, come on. Away. Come on.

0:38:130:38:16

He's not breathing.

0:38:160:38:17

'Some days she was really confused and quite distressed.'

0:38:170:38:21

My husband hasn't had anything to eat today, as far as I know.

0:38:210:38:24

'Other days she was clear in her thinking

0:38:240:38:26

'and quite aware of everything that was going on.'

0:38:260:38:31

It's hard to change the way you are with somebody on a day-to-day basis.

0:38:310:38:35

You tailor communication with a patient to how they are on the day.

0:38:350:38:38

Aren't they wonderful pictures?

0:38:380:38:41

Who brought these in for you? Your daughter?

0:38:410:38:43

She brought them in.

0:38:430:38:45

Is this you?

0:38:450:38:47

That's me, yes, when I was 18.

0:38:470:38:49

-Look at your hair.

-Loads.

-Amazing, isn't it?

0:38:490:38:53

You're opened up and let into someone's life.

0:38:530:38:56

You've been a part of something difficult with them

0:38:560:38:59

and it's such a privilege, really is.

0:38:590:39:02

-Thank you for showing me these. Gorgeous.

-Lovely, aren't they?

0:39:020:39:06

Like Adam and Katherine, Lucy's staying in Newcastle

0:39:060:39:09

and will get a chance to try out specialities

0:39:090:39:11

as a second year junior doctor.

0:39:110:39:14

I've enjoyed everything I've done so far and I love learning new things.

0:39:140:39:18

I don't know where I'm going, but in ten years' time

0:39:180:39:21

I still will be working as a doctor.

0:39:210:39:23

Hello. How are you?

0:39:270:39:30

In A&E, second year Suzi also developed a good rapport with her patients.

0:39:300:39:35

But she was learning there were times to put down boundaries.

0:39:350:39:38

When did this happen?

0:39:380:39:40

Probably, like, four hours ago now. I've been sat here for ages.

0:39:400:39:44

That's A&E for you, I'm afraid.

0:39:440:39:47

I've literally never had so much fun in hospital before.

0:39:470:39:51

Well, that's good.

0:39:510:39:53

-Are you a student doctor?

-No. Fully qualified.

0:39:530:39:56

Just look over that door handle, please.

0:39:560:39:59

I'm going to shine this into your eyes.

0:39:590:40:02

Where is it most sore, if it's sore anywhere? Nose.

0:40:020:40:06

Nose, yeah, just there.

0:40:060:40:08

-Is it broken?

-I think it probably is, yeah.

0:40:080:40:10

-Are you going to break it back for me and put it into place?

-No.

-Why?

0:40:100:40:14

What we do here is you get seen at the Freeman

0:40:140:40:18

after the swelling has gone down.

0:40:180:40:20

Give them a call and they'll do it for you.

0:40:200:40:22

All right? Do you have any other questions about anything?

0:40:220:40:25

Can I have your phone number?

0:40:250:40:28

-You can't have my phone number. No, sorry.

-Ahhhh!

0:40:290:40:33

This has ruined my A&E experience.

0:40:330:40:36

-I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

-Is that your phone number?

0:40:360:40:39

No. This is the number that you call about your nose.

0:40:390:40:42

Patients that flirt with you is a weird thing to have to deal with.

0:40:420:40:47

It's very flattering and I kind of thought, wow, you know,

0:40:470:40:51

it's in the middle of the night and I'm wearing scrubs

0:40:510:40:54

and I've been stuffing my face with loads of food and someone thinks

0:40:540:40:58

I'm not like the back end of a bus and that's nice, you know.

0:40:580:41:01

-But it's hard. I didn't know what I should be doing.

-You look lovely tonight.

0:41:010:41:06

Suzi, you're the best doctor ever.

0:41:080:41:10

You're the best trainee doctor ever. No, not trainee doctor.

0:41:100:41:13

You're the best freshly 16-month qualified doctor ever.

0:41:130:41:16

OK. That's very kind. Thank you.

0:41:160:41:19

Yeah!

0:41:210:41:23

Oh, bless him. Thank you.

0:41:240:41:28

Yeah!

0:41:280:41:29

I think now sometimes I choose carefully

0:41:290:41:31

if I say that I'm Suzi or if I'm Dr Bachelor.

0:41:310:41:34

I think with some patients, I think I feel as though I need to kind of show that,

0:41:340:41:39

you know, I know more than they do about what's going on.

0:41:390:41:43

As she finishes her time at Newcastle,

0:41:430:41:46

Suzi's moving on to a new job in South Shields.

0:41:460:41:49

I'm going to be doing adult medicine cos I think it's interesting.

0:41:490:41:53

I've got a couple of exams since filming

0:41:530:41:57

so I'm kind of part way there to doing that anyway now.

0:41:570:42:00

It's a job that I can't wait to get stuck into and things.

0:42:000:42:05

Excited!

0:42:050:42:06

It'll be good.

0:42:060:42:08

First year Katherine has another year in Newcastle.

0:42:130:42:18

The past 12 months have increased her confidence.

0:42:180:42:21

One of my patients came in

0:42:210:42:22

to basically have his little finger stitched up.

0:42:220:42:25

And when I took a history, he mentioned he was getting some pain.

0:42:250:42:31

Feel the pain since yesterday morning

0:42:310:42:33

but I think it's just through work.

0:42:330:42:35

I think it's just muscle pain.

0:42:350:42:37

It's quite a problem, having this pain now?

0:42:370:42:40

It's just heavy lifting.

0:42:400:42:42

-Did it come on suddenly or gradually? Do you remember?

-Just gradually.

0:42:420:42:46

-Do you smoke at all?

-Yeah.

0:42:460:42:49

-Do you drink at all?

-Yeah.

0:42:500:42:52

How many units would you say a week?

0:42:520:42:54

I'm not sure. Um... Probably about 60 pints a week.

0:42:540:42:59

-60?

-Yeah. I don't know what that is.

0:42:590:43:02

-Sorry, 16 or...?

-60.

-60.

-Mm-hmm.

0:43:020:43:05

Katherine decided to investigate further.

0:43:070:43:09

I'm just going to tap down from this end now.

0:43:110:43:14

OK. I mean, I...

0:43:190:43:20

-From the history, I'm not worried at all about your heart.

-Yeah.

0:43:200:43:24

-The pain's sort of more round there.

-Mm-hm.

0:43:240:43:28

-Do you know if you've ever had any tests done on your liver before?

-No, I haven't.

-OK.

0:43:280:43:32

Just cos when I was...feeling, I thought maybe your liver

0:43:320:43:35

was slightly enlarged.

0:43:350:43:37

99% of your day

0:43:370:43:38

is just doing, you know, the jobs like taking bloods

0:43:380:43:42

and filling in forms.

0:43:420:43:43

'So, it does feel quite nice to be able to say,

0:43:430:43:46

'"I think I know what's wrong with you and it's this."'

0:43:460:43:49

I might just ask one of my senior colleagues what they think.

0:43:490:43:52

If you pop back to the day room...

0:43:520:43:55

-Just come with me.

-Cheers.

0:43:550:43:57

I went to see this guy, I think that's his...

0:43:570:44:00

Don't know where his notes are. This guy,

0:44:000:44:02

and I think he's got an enlarged liver.

0:44:020:44:04

60 pints a week is 120 something units, good spot.

0:44:040:44:08

You don't want patients to be ill and you don't want them to be sick

0:44:080:44:11

but when you're the one that spots what's wrong with them,

0:44:110:44:15

it is quite satisfying.

0:44:150:44:16

As she faces the start of her second year,

0:44:190:44:22

Katherine knows where she wants to end up.

0:44:220:44:25

When I started my first year as a junior doctor, I wanted to do surgery.

0:44:250:44:31

In the past few months I've passed my first set of surgical exams, which I'm excited about,

0:44:310:44:35

so I'm on track to make applications in a few months' time.

0:44:350:44:40

While Katherine's confidence was starting to grow,

0:44:420:44:46

Adam finally got the chance to prove himself.

0:44:460:44:49

I felt my first chance to make my mark was during my first on-call.

0:44:490:44:53

That was hugely different to the day job.

0:44:530:44:57

He was covering up to 170 patients over five wards.

0:44:570:45:00

BEEPING

0:45:020:45:04

Hello.

0:45:040:45:06

He was called to see 85-year-old Lester, with a lung complaint.

0:45:060:45:11

Hello.

0:45:110:45:13

His condition had deteriorated.

0:45:150:45:17

Lester was already very, very poorly

0:45:190:45:21

but when I got called to see him, he looked ghastly.

0:45:210:45:25

Honestly, I thought he was on the verge of dying.

0:45:250:45:29

He's not well. He's not well at all.

0:45:290:45:32

Adam decided to investigate further

0:45:320:45:35

and ordered a new X-ray to compare with the first one.

0:45:350:45:38

I could be convinced the new one's worse, actually.

0:45:380:45:41

I think it's the heart that's the problem and it's backed up into the lungs.

0:45:410:45:45

Yeah, I think the new one's definitely worse.

0:45:450:45:49

Definitely.

0:45:500:45:52

Adam thought the patient should be on additional medication,

0:45:520:45:56

but needed to clear this with the senior doctor.

0:45:560:45:59

Do you think I can give him furosemide,

0:45:590:46:01

or is it not a decision I should be making?

0:46:010:46:03

-His renal function...

-If you're comfortable and you know what you're doing.

0:46:030:46:07

Cool, sweet. OK... Can we start furosemide?

0:46:070:46:13

40... I'll hand it over and she'll come over.

0:46:130:46:16

-Thanks very much.

-This was the first time as a doctor Adam had made a diagnosis.

0:46:160:46:22

Yeah, I'm going to give him furosemide.

0:46:220:46:24

I knew it was... I knew it.

0:46:240:46:27

Goddamn right.

0:46:270:46:29

-Furosemide.

-Yes, I'm going to give him furosemide!

0:46:290:46:32

I'm sure everybody knows now. I'll get taken the piss out of for it.

0:46:320:46:35

Now, that is different from the day job.

0:46:350:46:39

That's why you're a doctor.

0:46:390:46:41

The next day I came back and he looked well.

0:46:410:46:44

-I'm so happy about that.

-Seriously, good job.

0:46:440:46:48

'The staff were nice and he was nice.

0:46:480:46:50

'It was like one big Care Bear moment. It was just amazing.'

0:46:500:46:54

Hello. How are you feeling today?

0:46:540:46:56

I feel much better than what I did yesterday.

0:46:560:46:59

-OK, good. I'm glad to hear it.

-I do, and so am I.

0:46:590:47:04

'I'll never forget that.'

0:47:040:47:05

It just doesn't happen like that in medicine very often.

0:47:050:47:08

Just doesn't. And it was just great, it was a great moment.

0:47:080:47:12

As he enters his second year,

0:47:120:47:14

Adam is learning that responsibility will come in time.

0:47:140:47:18

I see now that I need the transition to go through, but I'm about to start A&E myself in a month,

0:47:180:47:24

and I'm really looking forward to it

0:47:240:47:26

but still really apprehensive, even after a year's training.

0:47:260:47:30

I definitely, in hindsight,

0:47:300:47:32

wouldn't have gone onto it straight away, you know.

0:47:320:47:34

I think it's wise to have at least a year under your belt

0:47:340:47:37

before you go onto something like A&E.

0:47:370:47:39

Hello, it's Keir on call for plastics.

0:47:450:47:48

Wheee, you're flying!

0:47:480:47:50

Do you want to shake my hand?

0:47:500:47:52

Keir had a big decision to make about the direction

0:47:520:47:55

he wanted his career to take.

0:47:550:47:57

When you start off as a junior doctor, you think, right, I've made it,

0:47:570:48:01

this is the end, I've sat my exams, I am now a doctor.

0:48:010:48:05

And then suddenly, 14 months later, someone turns to you

0:48:050:48:08

and goes, "Do you want to be a chemical pathologist or a psychiatrist?"

0:48:080:48:12

I don't know what a chemical pathologist is!

0:48:120:48:15

Keir had to decide whether to become a medic and treat with medicine

0:48:150:48:19

or become a surgeon and wield the surgeon's knife.

0:48:190:48:23

-Hello.

-You OK?

-Yeah.

-My main problem with this is the nail.

0:48:230:48:27

So, we need to remove the nail and then flap the skin over the top.

0:48:270:48:33

-Is it?

-Yep.

-I've never done this before.

0:48:330:48:35

I'm quite excited and a little trepidatious at the same time.

0:48:350:48:39

When he was in plastic surgery, Keir had the opportunity to assist

0:48:430:48:47

in operating theatres, which gave him real hands-on experience.

0:48:470:48:51

So, have a go.

0:48:530:48:56

-That's the bone.

-Mm-hmm.

0:48:560:48:57

And we're just literally nibbling, like that.

0:49:000:49:04

-What I'm hoping to do is preserve a little bit of the joint.

-Mm-hmm.

0:49:040:49:09

The operation was performed on a conscious patient

0:49:090:49:14

so he could go home on the same day.

0:49:140:49:17

The bone in his finger was shortened with a bone nibbler.

0:49:170:49:21

-Are we down to that, then? Oh, fantastic.

-Wow, look at that!

0:49:210:49:24

AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: That's not a bone nibbler, THIS is a bone nibbler.

0:49:240:49:28

-Right.

-You don't mind us talking, do you?

-Oh, no.

-That's all right.

0:49:280:49:33

At the end of the operation, Keir stitched up

0:49:330:49:37

-the tip of the patient's finger.

-Lovely. Well done. Grand.

0:49:370:49:41

But it didn't really help Keir come to a decision.

0:49:410:49:44

People say that that decision's the easiest one.

0:49:460:49:50

I find it the hardest one.

0:49:500:49:52

Major choice. Surgeon or medic?

0:49:520:49:54

And you can't tell, can you? Cos you like both.

0:49:560:49:58

Boy did good.

0:49:580:50:00

Just what I expect.

0:50:000:50:02

He has natural ability.

0:50:020:50:05

It'd be a shame to lose him from surgery.

0:50:050:50:07

Obviously surgery is a lot more practical.

0:50:070:50:10

You are physically removing bits of people that have gone wrong.

0:50:100:50:14

So, I can see what I'm dealing with now.

0:50:140:50:16

'Looking at a healthy patient and saying, "I did that", is fulfilling.'

0:50:160:50:20

See you a bit later.

0:50:200:50:22

'Whereas in medicine, you're trying to identify lots of difficult patients'

0:50:220:50:27

with lots of different things wrong with them

0:50:270:50:29

so solving that puzzle is attractive.

0:50:290:50:31

Ultimately, you have to make your career decisions based on experience.

0:50:330:50:38

Right, hello.

0:50:380:50:40

-OK, let's have a look, then.

-Let's take them off for you.

-That's grand, thank you.

0:50:400:50:45

As part of his training, Keir also treated

0:50:450:50:48

some of Newcastle's youngest outpatients.

0:50:480:50:52

-Is it hurting all the time? It is.

-When I move it, it really hurts.

0:50:580:51:01

It's hurting most when you move, OK.

0:51:010:51:05

That's cool. What we do need to do is clean it, OK?

0:51:050:51:10

Are you feeling a bit dizzy and queasy and rotten?

0:51:100:51:13

No? Excellent.

0:51:130:51:15

-I'm just really hungry.

-You're really hungry!

0:51:150:51:18

One year on and Keir has made his decision.

0:51:190:51:23

But I've finally made my mind up.

0:51:230:51:27

I'm now going down to Great Ormond Street to do children's medicine,

0:51:270:51:30

which is kind of my...dream, as it were,

0:51:300:51:34

so I'm confident I've made the right decision.

0:51:340:51:36

Plus, I think if/when I have kids,

0:51:360:51:40

-I would love Keir to be my kids' doctor.

-Aw!

0:51:400:51:42

Because, I mean, watching him on television and things with kids,

0:51:420:51:47

you put kids at ease so well, you're good at talking to patients

0:51:470:51:52

and I just think that you'll be great at it.

0:51:520:51:54

I'm just immature!

0:51:540:51:55

That's it. BLOWS RASPBERRY

0:51:550:51:57

-How old are you, Alicia?

-Six.

-Six.

0:51:570:52:00

Are you a bit frightened? Yeah.

0:52:000:52:02

There's no need to be frightened, OK?

0:52:020:52:04

She's gorgeous.

0:52:040:52:07

You're the cutest patient I have had all day.

0:52:070:52:09

He says that to all the girls!

0:52:090:52:12

-See you later, guys.

-See ya.

0:52:220:52:24

Six months into the job,

0:52:240:52:26

the junior doctors had a whole new experience to face.

0:52:260:52:30

The programme hit the air and they started to be recognised.

0:52:320:52:36

-Is that why you've cut your hair, so that people don't know who you are any more?

-No.

0:52:360:52:41

-That's what the theory is.

-I've heard this theory.

0:52:410:52:44

"You know Lucy? She's cut her hair since the show.

0:52:440:52:46

"She's trying to go under the radar."

0:52:460:52:48

Not a day goes by when someone goes, "You've had your hair cut!"

0:52:480:52:52

The one that I get the most is, "Have you passed your exam yet?"

0:52:520:52:55

Or, "Do you still play rugby?"

0:52:550:52:56

I get, like, toilet brush a lot, especially at work.

0:52:560:52:59

"You're the girl with the toilet brush."

0:52:590:53:01

I was like, "Wait a second, I was not WITH the toilet brush!"

0:53:010:53:04

I happened to be there, dealing with the toilet brush but it was nothing to do with me.

0:53:040:53:09

Tonight is the last time the seven junior doctors will all be together

0:53:110:53:17

before they go their separate ways.

0:53:170:53:20

-We might not see each other again for a long time.

-Mm.

0:53:200:53:24

You're going down to London.

0:53:240:53:25

You're going to Hong Kong! It'll be more difficult to visit you.

0:53:250:53:28

Out of everything that we've been through,

0:53:320:53:34

what do you reckon you'll be remembered for?

0:53:340:53:36

Me crying, definitely.

0:53:360:53:38

-No doubt.

-It's a good thing to be remembered for,

0:53:380:53:42

for actually having emotions.

0:53:420:53:44

-Well, for me, it's the other way round. No emotions.

-Yeah!

0:53:440:53:49

-Do you still want to save the world?

-Well, I have good intentions.

0:53:490:53:53

What about you, Katherine?

0:53:530:53:55

I certainly felt, at some times, quite isolated and overwhelmed.

0:53:550:54:00

It's important to remember you're not the only person to have gone through that.

0:54:000:54:04

You have to remember as you go from being a first year to a second year,

0:54:040:54:08

having someone underneath you,

0:54:080:54:10

-they're feeling exactly how you used to feel.

-Yes.

0:54:100:54:13

When we were all round the table at the start of the year,

0:54:130:54:16

I think some of us were worried

0:54:160:54:19

about potential disasters and we've managed to get through the year

0:54:190:54:22

without anything too bad going wrong.

0:54:220:54:25

So, cheers to not messing up too badly.

0:54:250:54:27

-Cheers.

-To not being struck off.

0:54:270:54:30

LAUGHTER

0:54:300:54:32

It's finally hit us, you know.

0:54:330:54:36

We're actual doctors now.

0:54:360:54:38

'I'm really glad my first year's almost over.

0:54:410:54:45

'Don't get me wrong, I've really enjoyed the year, but I'm hoping the next few years'

0:54:450:54:49

are going to be less and less kind of, you know, painful.

0:54:490:54:54

'I think I've still got a long way to go'

0:54:560:54:59

and I think I still have a lot that I've got to learn.

0:54:590:55:01

But I feel ready to move on to the next stage.

0:55:010:55:05

To the left or right?

0:55:050:55:07

Which way?

0:55:070:55:08

There aren't many other jobs that you can go home from at the end of the day

0:55:100:55:15

and feel like you've really made a difference in someone's life.

0:55:150:55:19

'It's weird, because that first day

0:55:190:55:22

'and those first experiences almost feel alien to me now'

0:55:220:55:25

because being a doctor and working as I am just feels to be part of me.

0:55:250:55:30

The most important thing I learned in the last two years

0:55:320:55:35

is how to be professional.

0:55:350:55:37

But I think letting your guard down often,

0:55:370:55:39

from time to time, is important.

0:55:390:55:41

When I say letting the guard down,

0:55:410:55:43

I don't mean just go absolutely bonkers.

0:55:430:55:47

The best thing about being a doctor is actually seeing people

0:55:500:55:54

with problems, putting them right.

0:55:540:55:57

That is, by far, the most amazing thing

0:55:570:56:00

that I could ever imagine doing in my life.

0:56:000:56:02

Take a chill pill, count to ten.

0:56:040:56:07

Even for all the bad hours, you know, and the difficult patients,

0:56:070:56:11

I would not trade in this job for anything else, honestly.

0:56:110:56:15

MUSIC: "Lie Down In Darkness" by Moby

0:56:150:56:19

# No more

0:56:210:56:24

# No more

0:56:260:56:29

# No more, hmmmm

0:56:350:56:40

# No more

0:56:420:56:44

# The sun

0:56:470:56:48

# Will be no more. #

0:56:530:56:56

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0:56:560:57:00

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