Jonnie Irwin and Simon O'Brien take a trip to the Fens in search of a bungalow with canal views.
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-Hello and welcome to To Buy Or Not To Buy.
-We're casting our property nets far and wide to find a home
-in the fantastically flat Fens.
-You've just given me an idea.
Ah, this is the life, eh, Jonnie?
Peace and solitude. You can't beat a bit of fishing.
-Caught anything yet?
-Not yet, but the big one is on the way.
More like a tadpole. We do have work to do.
Hang on. I've got a bite! Ho ho!
And we've also reeled in today Richard and Dot Jones, a retired couple from Pembrokeshire.
They've been married for a year now and decided it's time to leave rural Wales for a new life in the Fens.
They like to keep on the move in this fancy motor home, reaching the Outer Hebrides and Morocco.
But before they head off again, they have a property wish list as long as my fishing rod.
We deal with some fussy people, but I have to say this 18-point list leaves nothing to the imagination
-that you've prepared for us.
-Some points have two points!
-There's a sub-point as well!
-Now it seems to me at the heart of this house hunt is that.
-That has been to Morocco?
-North Cap. France.
With wheels underneath a moving house, why choose just one place?
-I can't drive it when I'm sleeping, so I have to park it somewhere.
-OK! This is a perfect place to sleep?
-The Fens is famed for its waterways. Is that the appeal?
-Very much so.
-We like to think we can have a mooring so on a really nice day we could get on the boat,
go up the river for a couple of hours, gin and tonic and while away the world.
So is it the long-term plan to maybe get yourselves a watercraft?
-A narrow boat.
-On a waterway where narrow boats can run.
If we open up what seems to be along the lines of Mark's gospel,
-you don't want to live on a housing estate.
-What do you want?
-What is your perfect scenario?
-When we say housing estate...
-That's it there.
..we don't want executive-type housing, all exactly the same.
-What would be your preferred style?
-A nice detached bungalow on a riverbank
with plenty of land around it, a little paddock or woodland, river frontage with a mooring...
-I think we can guarantee that here.
-If not, Simon can move next door.
Thank you very much(!) How much do you know about this area? How much have you looked?
We've been coming up here on holiday for several years
and we've always liked the area. We did some research on the internet.
-We've got a fair idea of what's around.
-You have been extensively looking.
The internet is a great first step, but there's nothing like walking in the door to get a feel for it.
-You cannot tell from estate agents' photos.
-We might show you something you have seen on the internet.
You might well do, but we haven't been inside.
Let's go back to the list. It says car parking for three cars
and the beast. So we're looking at...
Because bungalows are all on one level, that's a large footprint for the bungalow.
-You are asking for quite a lot.
-Any of that you might compromise on? Size? Car parking?
-It depends what you show us.
-We could get away with three bedrooms if there's a study downstairs.
-It could be a house or a bungalow.
-That list adds up to perfection.
Budget. Let's talk about that. How much are you giving our mystery property hunting team to spend?
-We'd be very happy to come in under £300,000.
-I bet you would!
No, no, let's be realistic.
If you fulfilled everything on that list, we could find 350-ish.
What's your max? Let's push that.
-Fantastic! Well done. I think we just went up 70 grand there!
Now, OK, so 360 is the absolute top end and we would have to be ticking points 1 to 1.
-If you're prepared to drive all the way to Morocco in this,
-we would be prepared to find you a nice bungalow in the Fens.
-See you later.
This is like War And Peace. "Detached bungalow, four bedrooms,
"car parking for three cars plus space for a motor home."
To name but a few of the points! I tell you what we'll do - I'll take points 1-9
-and you take points 10-18.
-Oh, great. So I'm responsible for point number 13:
-"Riverside living with mooring."
-All right, I'll swap you 13 for number 5: "No main road noise."
-I don't think either of us has it easy.
-No. That is the main point.
Why not try to get as many of these as possible? Whoever gets that wins.
-I'll get help from the locals.
-And I'll get it from the estate agents.
The Fens countryside is famed for its flatness.
The big sky landscape stretches across four counties -
Lincolnshire, Cambridgeshire, Norfolk and Suffolk.
Farming is the main livelihood and the area is a major agricultural region.
The Fens are criss-crossed by a myriad of waterways
so narrow-boating could be perfect for Richard and Dot to explore.
If you prefer to stay on dry land, you can wander round the market towns of Wisbech and March.
Property is a mixture of modern and historic, plus a number of waterside homes.
After doing so well fishing, what price are waterside properties in the UK?
Well, if you fancy padding about or even paddling about, why not head off to Chertsey
and this unique two-storey houseboat. It includes a fabulous triple-aspect reception room
opening onto a large sundeck with some stunning views.
All this and more for just...
Very nice, indeed.
Or you could weigh anchor and head southwest to the county of Cornwall
to this fabulous four-bedroom house overlooking the River Fowey.
It has many original Victorian features, including fireplaces, picture rails and panel doors.
-The price? A sun-kissed £450,000.
-Very nice, Simon.
Or travel north to Scotland where you could own this four-bedroom villa in Argyll
with stunning views over the Kyles of Bute.
It has a fitted kitchen, a newly-refurbished wet room and gorgeous, mature gardens.
On for offers over...
'But back to our property hunt and I'm heading to the estate agents'.
'And I'm off to ask the locals what it's like to live in a flat... part of the country.'
What's good about the Fens? The people. They're fantastic.
-The countryside is not beautiful, but it's dramatic.
-It's amazing. I tell you what,
even in the depths of winter the skyscape is just phenomenal.
-It just blows your mind.
-That is the point.
-This is our equivalent of Montana.
-Yeah, like the prairies. The Fen-land prairies.
You've got new development, older properties, Georgian properties.
You've got a good selection so anybody coming here, if they wanted new, can have that.
If they wanted an older character property, they can have that.
-What's it like to live on the Fens?
-I like it. I've always lived here. It's a really nice, friendly place.
People talk to you when you're out.
-How much extra are people paying for waterside property?
-There is a premium. It depends on location.
By the river, if it's got a mooring, then you do pay a premium.
-Probably 15-20% premium.
-Really? As much as that?
If you come here, you've got the waterways, the boats,
-and if you hire one of them out for a week...
-You could disappear!
I'm supposed to be talking about property, but I've forgotten that.
-Here, I've got a bite.
-Oh, have you? Get back to it!
I've had a fabulous day, fishing around for properties
-and talking to the lovely people.
-I met a lovely estate agent called Hannah.
She told me there's all sorts of property available here.
There will also be, perhaps. anything they're looking for.
Property Number One is... a bungalow! It does have all the car parking they need,
-the exact number of bedrooms and it has a mooring.
-Oh, it has, has it?
-Feeling pretty pleased with yourself?
Property Two also has its own private mooring,
giving access to the Fens and the Broads.
From their back garden.
-When is a bungalow not a bungalow?
-When it's a house, by the looks of it!
Yes, Property Two IS a house. It's detached, but Rich and Dot did say they would prefer a bungalow,
but would consider a house. I think this is right for them.
It's perfect. On the edge of March. Everything they need. Now the Wild Card.
I was daunted by the list, as was the property hunting team,
but they might have come up trumps. Look at this little beauty.
It has what is termed an eyelash, peeking over the roofline.
It's gorgeous, it really is. Why it's the Wild Card, we'll not tell you just yet.
It differs in one way, but when it comes to grandeur,
if you want to know what you can get for your money, this will tell you everything.
-Shall we start?
-Property Number One.
My property is a modern three-bed bungalow in Surfleet near Spalding.
It's in great condition with plenty of space inside and out
and the River Glen at its door.
-How many boxes have you ticked?
-I think I've ticked them all.
-All will be revealed.
One of your requirements was you didn't want to live on a housing estate with houses all the same.
You didn't want homogeny. So look around.
-This is lovely. There's room for the motor home.
-Room for the cars.
-Room for many cars.
-A lovely garden.
-Never mind the parking, what about the house?!
-It looks like a very nice house.
-And we're hoping...
-What about the river?
-Well...wait and see.
Maybe you know about bits and bobs like rivers and bedrooms because you did a search on the internet.
-Does this ring any bells?
-It does. We have seen it on the internet.
-Well, had you discounted it?
-It was on our shortlist.
-Thank you for bringing us.
-My pleasure. I'm hoping we've got ticks next to a lot of these points.
-So what's the feeling at the moment?
-Very, very good.
Well, keep those positive thoughts. There's lots to look around.
It's spread out. It's a big old house and it's got a few surprises inside.
-Have a great time.
-Enjoy. We'll see you in a moment.
-Wow, this is huge.
-A good size hall.
-You could almost park the motor home in the hall!
-Yeah, pick a room.
-Look at this. It is huge.
-A good-sized room, isn't it?
Very nicely done. Very neutral, very nice.
-What we didn't discuss is taste of decor, but they like this.
-It seems to be going down very well.
Somebody's got very nice taste. What a lovely room.
I'm not keen on a yellow ceiling, but...
-No, but you can change that.
-I can get you paint and a roller.
-It's beautifully done.
I like that.
-And this is this sun lounge.
-Oh, gosh! Look at this one.
Oh, I love the tiles. This is superb.
These are all very positive.
We get the measure of any house hunter when they go in. Are they going to be positive for all three?
-I'm a bit upset by this place.
-Cos it's very, very good.
I'm looking forward to you getting your list out and all 18 points.
-I've never seen a ceiling quite like that before.
-I like it, though.
-It really looks good.
-Layout depends on what you put in it, I suppose.
Yes, it's a versatile room. I think I might even be inclined to use this as a main lounge.
You could see the river. That's really nice, isn't it?
TV in that corner and look out over the river.
I could do a lot with this hall.
-And this would be the dining room. It's a nice size, too.
-Yes, it is.
-Would it make a better study?
-It depends on the kitchen.
-I wonder if it would stand patio doors.
-It would, very much indeed.
You want as much glass in the back of this building as possible for these beautiful waterside views.
Wow! Now I do like this white.
-Yes, I like this.
-It lightens it up and makes it nice and clean and bright.
-I do like it.
-I'm not struck on the opposing worktops with the sink so far from the cooker.
You don't do the cooking.
Fair comment. Why should I worry?
-One area I would think of updating is the kitchen.
-A more modern kitchen?
-Patio doors straight out into the garden.
-That's what the dining room needs.
-Patio doors? Yeah, you're right.
-But I could put the dinner on and sit with a gin and tonic.
-Doors open, sun shining.
They've tiled all the way through.
Right through to the utility.
-Oh, a nice blue bathroom!
-What a colour!
If you're not sure about the loo, wait till you see the bathroom!
This would be...
-Bedroom on the left?
-Yeah, I'm just wondering which bedroom it is.
-There's a double bed in here.
-It's a small bedroom.
-Double bed in here.
Yeah. Looks out into the garden.
Another double bed in here.
This is another spare bedroom. Might even make a painting studio.
-I don't know.
The living space works so well, the bedrooms are a disappointment.
They shouldn't be. They're all a good size.
-We could do things with this.
-It's a nice bungalow.
-I'd rather have an enclosed shower.
-Yeah, I agree.
-It's nitpicking on a property like this.
It's a nice home.
-Oh, gosh, this is a good size.
-This must be bedroom one.
-It does look out over the drive and not the river.
-But that doesn't matter.
-It does matter.
I'd like to look out over the river.
It would be lovely to wake up in the morning and see this gorgeous view,
but to make the most of it it's with your living area.
The living area has to be towards the back. To open this up and take in these beautiful views -
-not to do that would be a waste.
-Yeah, a tragedy.
Ooh, look at this! Wow, this is... And a shower enclosure.
-There we are.
-That is an interesting coloured suite, isn't it?
We could both get in there, no trouble.
-That sunken bath is a feature.
-Haven't seen one of those since we left Spain.
-I'm not sure I could live with this colour.
-Oh, I don't dislike this colour, actually.
This is a much better room than the main bathroom.
-The wacky en suite has brightened them up again.
-Shall we go and find Jonnie and look at the garden?
Yes, good idea.
-Now, look - the garden.
-It's much bigger than I thought.
-And, lo and behold, the mooring!
-Look at that, Rich!
This is a good-sized garden and I like the mooring.
Don't get carried away by the boat. You'll have to buy your own.
-The boat doesn't come with the house.
-Is that all right?
-What do we think now? Pretty nice garden.
-A good size.
And you've got a bit of garden where you can grow your veggies.
Oh, right! I didn't know that.
And if you wanted to go to the coast, this river goes right out to the Wash.
And they're talking about putting some tributaries on to this to open the whole network.
What's he confusing you with?
-He's talking geography.
-What do you think?
-I think it's a fabulous place.
It's got a great garden. We were looking for a place that's better than the one we've got. This is.
Oh, well! It's guess-the-price time. I'm not sure whether this is a bit of a formality today.
You have peeked on the internet. But we'll put you on the spot.
Jonnie managed to force your budget up to £360,000, tops.
Rich, you might have been on the internet, so, Dot, I'll ask you first.
I think I've got an idea of what it was. I would think it's round about 329.
Well, the last time I looked it was £339,950.
Not quite so fast, actually! Slight indiscretion there.
It's £339,995. So you're out, I'm afraid.
-£45 out, mate. Sorry.
-That makes it unaffordable.
-That's a swim for you.
So it's a little bit more than you can remember yourselves.
-We would agree to go up to that, anyway. For something like this.
-Hang on a minute!
-Hang on a minute. We've got two more houses.
-You have! You're right!
And Property Two is this way.
Property Two is my choice and it's big.
It's near March and sits right on the old River Nene. Four bedrooms, plenty of space downstairs
and for those water lovers, lots and lots of bathrooms!
It does need some modernisation, but I think it ticks boxes 1-14.
Right, Property One is out of the way. It went very well.
For Property Two, we've taken a slow stroll to March. Lovely town.
I wanted to put you in the community, rather than being slightly isolated.
So that's why we have chosen this property. There it is. First impressions, please.
-It's a house.
-Dot, excellent observation. It IS a house.
I know you said a bungalow,
-but your list...
-We'd prefer a bungalow.
-Well, that list, I tore it up and threw it away.
-What else are we thinking?
-It looks a nice house.
I think what we've got here is a really nice community feel.
-You didn't want to be isolated.
-No, it's got a lovely feel.
Look down there - all the little cottages.
-It's got a lovely feel.
-Walking down is like Hansel and Gretel.
-Well, that's nice, isn't it?
-Hansel and Gretel! I hope you find it made of sweet things.
-Get in there and enjoy it.
Here we are.
-This is the hallway.
-Nice big hall.
-Yeah, good size.
This is the living room? Yeah.
-It's a reasonable size.
-Yeah, it's a good size.
-Got a nice picture window.
-Shame there's no view.
-Well, it's got a garden.
-Decor's very neutral, but I think I'd have to change it.
-I think so.
-It's nothing special. Just an average lounge.
Now here's a dining room. A good-sized dining room!
-Gosh. You could have a party.
-As dining room's go, it's a good size.
-A very good size.
A lot of glass!
-You know that glass in there? Would you keep it?
A lot of people think anything from the '60s or '70s you rip out.
We go through into...the kitchen.
-Again it's a good size.
-Nice kitchen, nicely fitted.
And it's not dark wood. It's light.
You could have a little table in the corner, so it's a kitchen breakfast room if you wish.
-You know I said I ripped up Richard's list?
-I didn't throw it away.
-I think we should piece it back together.
-Oh, Rich! Oh!
Look at that lovely garden. You could use this as an office, or a bedroom.
Yes, if we get too old and frail for the stairs, put a bed in here.
"Bungalow or chalet bungalow, but houses or...are fine." I've missed a bit there.
"..as long as they have extra room downstairs for a bedroom."
One thing this house has in spades is loads of room.
And I think the ancillary areas could contain a stairlift.
Right, let's go round and see where the... This is one of the bedrooms.
-Oh, my word! What a size!
-Gosh, what a room.
-Big rooms, aren't they? You can see the river from there.
Not my choice of colour again, but a can of paint changes that.
-Shall we go and have a look...
-See what else we can find.
-A jolly good size for a spare room or an office.
-You could get two single beds in here or a double.
-Good views over the back garden.
-Which is pleasant.
Have to find out if that's a shared
parking space out there or not. We'll come to that in due course.
Yes, you do have a parking space. Plenty of room for your mobile home.
-Let's see what's round here, shall we?
-Is it the bath?
-Oh, and it's a green one!
-And a shower.
-Avocado is coming back in.
-Avocado and prawns was the starter in the period this house was built.
-Coloured suites will be fashionable.
-Right. Oh, there is a bathroom!
-Oh, gosh, Sun King.
I haven't seen a Sun King bathroom for ages! Sun King or Dusky Pink?
-One would act, in effect, as an en suite, but it's separate.
-Not the end of the world.
No, it's not that far away. Maybe I'd change it to white.
-See what else we've got here.
Here's another bedroom. They are big bedrooms.
-You could get a double in here at a push.
-You see these new houses with such tiny bedrooms.
This is really good.
Oh, my goodness, yet another... Another great big room!
-Isn't it just?
-Like ballrooms, aren't they?
-And I think from here... Yes, you can.
-You can see the river.
-You can see the river.
You see? In the bungalow, they lamented that they couldn't get up and see the river.
-Not a problem here.
-Oh, that's nice. That's nice.
-My goodness! Another en suite!
This must be bedroom one after all, not the one we looked in first.
-I'm amazed at how much space is here.
-You could shower in a different room every day!
Shall we go and see Simon? And tell him how well he's done.
I think you will both agree that there's plenty of room inside the house.
Yes, very spacious. Very clean and very tidy.
But come stroll with me down through this secret garden.
-Just across that little lane there this is also your garden. So you've got this space here.
You've got the front garden proper and the rear garden. If things were jigged around a bit,
there would be plenty of room to park the motor home.
The place when it was first being built was going to be two semi-detached houses.
-I looked at that and wondered.
-Halfway through, they decided on one big detached house.
That's why you've got two bathrooms next door to each other. But imagine if you knocked them both through.
-So there's potential there. And you know what? I haven't finished yet.
Come with me. One more thing.
Jonnie's lovely house, his bungalow, had its own private mooring.
-So, not to be outdone, I give you the same.
-This is excellent.
-One slight difference - this is the River Nene.
And so, from here, you can navigate to Cambridge, Peterborough, the world.
This links up with all the other waterways, canals and rivers.
So there you go. Not bad, eh?
It seems like you really came round to this. You seemed a little bit hesitant when we got to the house,
-but you've come round to it.
-Yeah. I couldn't see a parking space.
-He wouldn't let you down.
-I ticked all the boxes on the list, which I've torn up.
-But I've still got the pieces.
-I thought that was our secret!
-Have you seen this place before on the interweb?
-Yes, I have.
-You have? It's been on the market for a couple of months.
-How much do you think it is?
-I would think...289?
-OK, then, Rich.
I would have thought about 279, 285, something like that.
-You're wishful thinking, aren't you?
-A touch, but not far out.
-It's actually on the market for £310,000.
-Oh, is it really?
I'm not surprised, actually. There's a lot of garden, a lot of house and its mooring.
There's nothing wrong with the house and the garden is fine. It's the location I'm not struck on.
Look, I know how we can cheer this man up here.
-Do you know how? Everybody's favourite part of the show - Le Wild Card!
-It's that way.
-Lead the way, Simon.
-No, you go that way.
-He'll catch us up.
And I did indeed catch them up for our Wild Card today.
-It's a converted dormer bungalow near the village of Upwell.
-It was an 18th-century lodge.
The roof has now been converted and modernised with a unique facade.
It's not just the front that stands out. The space inside is spectacular and the garden simply stunning.
-And we've not forgotten the water. There it is.
A beautiful village called Upwell. What's going through your mind?
-Upwell is one of our favourite villages.
Location is most people's priority when they look at a house,
but if that is a big tick I'm hoping the bricks and mortar will be in line with that.
-It's an odd-looking shape, but not unpleasant.
Now why is it the Wild Card? The reason why we love this place you will discover when you get inside.
It is gorgeous. Well, we think so. We'd like you to think the same. We want tell you the rest yet.
-Enjoy it and discover it. Off you go.
-Thank you very much.
-That's a very nice front door.
Goodness me. This is...different!
-Really different. Good.
-It is, isn't it?
-Isn't it just?
They obviously use it as a dining room, so you could use it as that.
-It opens out and that hallway is spectacular.
-Knocked me off my feet.
-It's really different. I really like it.
Oh, look. A ground floor bedroom. That's good.
-Let's see what's in here.
-A nice red carpet.
This is a nice-sized bathroom. It's a nice shower.
-I like the tiles.
-We could get the whole family in there.
-I do like the tiles and the sink.
-It's in keeping.
-And a proper cistern.
-Instead of push-button things that don't work.
I'm all for attention to detail, but I think the main feature is the space that this room affords,
not the flushing style.
-And again it's fitted wardrobes.
-We'll have to sell ours.
-This is nice.
-A lovely big room.
-It is nice.
This is so exceptional, this house, I really am taking to it.
-Mm. It's cottagey on a grand scale.
-Shall we see what else there is?
I guess this... This is the lounge.
Oh, now look at that fireplace.
-Wow. That is some fireplace.
You've got your patio doors there which go onto the garden.
You've got your two windows here which face the back. Wow.
This is some garden.
-Oh, the garden looks interesting.
-That looks lovely.
We wanted them to feel the grandeur, the opulence. And they are buying into it.
-Oh, a kitchen diner.
-That is a super kitchen.
-It is, isn't it?
I do like this light sort of colour. It's really nice.
-Isn't it lovely done? I like the terracotta tiles with the contrast.
-They've put terracotta on the carpet down there...
-..to blend with these tiles.
-It doesn't work for me.
-Well, no, that's...
-I'd rather pick up on the cream.
-You could change that.
-Oh, yeah, it's only a can of paint.
We might have trouble prising Dot out of this house.
-It's whether Rich comes with us on this adventure.
And, oh, yes... Look at this lovely sun room.
Yeah. I'm not a great lover of this wood effect,
-but this works well.
-This is lovely. And you've got a radiator out here.
This is ideal, isn't it? The wood effect out here does work.
-Got an outbuilding of some sort.
-Yeah, looks like it. That could be a potting shed.
-Oh, can you see what I see?
-No, because you're in front of me!
There's a study right ahead of us.
-It's more than just a landing. It's a room.
-It's a room.
-A room in itself.
-What a wonderful space again... isn't it?
-Isn't it just?
-You can sit up here.
-This is the eyebrow. See the curve?
-Yes, it is, isn't it?
Wonderful views across the field.
-Let's see what we have in here.
-Another huge room!
-Yeah, I guess it is.
-You'd call this the Yellow Room.
-There must be another eye window at the back.
-But would you rather have the bedroom downstairs?
-So this becomes a glory hole.
-I don't mind that Dot prefers the downstairs bedrooms.
For me, they wanted essentially a bungalow and I think this makes fantastic guest space.
Send them up there, use the double bedroom for sleeping and the other one is their walk-in wardrobe.
A little bit of space there, I would think.
-And it goes through... Oh, this is the en suite!
-It's an on "suet"!
-This is quite different as well, isn't it? This is a real house of intrigue, isn't it?
-I could come up here and have a bath and you wouldn't even know where I was.
I'm not a great lover of painted wood panels, but in this house it works.
-It fits the house.
-And it's tasteful colours. Colours that suit us.
Yeah, absolutely. This is ideal.
Well, I think this is... Jonnie and Simon have found something extremely different.
-It ticks a lot of boxes.
-They've given us something to think about.
-We hope you'll agree that is a beautiful, grand house.
And we also hope you'd agree that out here we have a mature, private, very good-sized garden.
-Yeah, it is great. Wonderful.
-Why it's the Wild Card is obvious.
You wanted to be next to a waterway. Well...this is all you get - this lovely pond
-with the water feature.
-A private waterway.
-I did say we wanted a view OR an outlook.
-This has a terrific outlook.
-The whole house seems to point out to this garden.
And you've got a beautiful walled garden and a vegetable patch. It's even got a fig tree.
And for the motor home, there is the double garage for two cars with parking in front of it.
-That's where you'd approach the house.
-It would be that entrance.
Something you could experiment with there, whether there's enough space for you there. You can look into it.
Now guessing the price. I know you've looked at so much property on the internet,
-but are we one each?
-One-all at the moment.
Your top budget is £360,000, the very top limit.
Rich, I'm guessing because you've done an awful lot of research,
you will have a fairly good idea. Dot, are you so sure?
-I'm not, not at all.
-I'll put you on the spot. You're going first. How much?
-I would... I would say 340.
-Can you remember?
-Then you should do very well here.
-Go on, then.
-Well, I would like to let the lady win...
-But you won't!
-That would mean me pricing it at 250.
It's 295, I think.
Well, 295, yeah. Potentially, you're on the money, but it is offers over.
As I am a gentleman, I think I'll award a dead heat.
-I'll go with that.
We've now shown you three very different properties. You've got to decide which one to spend time in.
-Why don't you take yourselves off and make that decision?
-Could go either way.
-I can't make my mind up.
Here's a reminder for you of the voyage that was today's three properties.
Property One is my stunning three-bed bungalow with the lovely mooring at the end of the garden.
And it's in budget!
Or will they go for my rather more spacious house? Four bedrooms and three bathrooms
and it, too, has a lovely mooring. Only the price is smaller.
Impressive, Simon. Then the Wild Card - a three-bedroom lodge with an eyebrow window.
It's the cheapest of them all and is an example of what you can get without a waterside premium.
Offers over £295,000, this one.
-Well, well, well. The Wild Card wins again?
-Looks like it, Jonnie.
-We can't blame you.
What a splendid property this is, despite not having a mooring.
Our eagle-eyed surveyor has given it the once-over.
It's not legally binding and, if you go ahead, make sure you get all your surveys done.
-But he's come up with interesting stuff.
He's a very, very picky fellow. Right?
One point he mentioned was some crack on the corner there.
That may be from the load of the hip joint on the roof,
but, more than likely, the movement has done all the moving it will do.
-But as an added precaution, he recommends taking out that small tree.
It's then very important to backfill that hole and not to undermine it.
-Another couple of bits... He's been really nitpicky because it's in great condition.
He thinks the fuse box could do with replacing. It hasn't got a breaker, needs modernising.
Little bits and pieces like that. Then there's a cracked tile here, little tiny bits.
But, all in all, in very, very good condition. That's it, really.
So why don't you get in there and enjoy the place some more? Enjoy it! It's yours!
-Spot of fishing?
-What is it with you and fishing?
-I'll catch something this time!
-Richard was very keen to park the motor home to see how it fits. Here he comes.
-There you go.
Gently does it, gently does it.
Back a bit. Bit more. Keep going, keep going.
There you go, you see!
Now what's Dot doing? She's checking out the garden and doing her impression of Monet.
-But will this property be on the Monet? Get it?
-You just can't help yourself.
That does deserve a slap on the wrist. Not the painting hand!
Time to check out the rooms. It looks like Dot's in the mood for more painting.
I think they're trying to match the room to Richard's jumper.
-It's that one.
-I'd go for a whiter shade of pale.
Your jokes give me the Moody Blues, Simon.
Let's find out what THEY think.
OK, you lovely couple. You've now spent a bit more time here. How did it feel?
It felt very, very good. It's an exceptional house, beautiful grounds,
very, very sheltered and the inside is quite stunning.
I know you've fallen in love with it. That's my instinct.
But, Richard, you had reservations. You got the motor home parked.
-But I wouldn't get any cars in!
-There's a car next to it now! You KNOW that's true.
-Plenty of room.
-I can overcome that.
Right, we've had some ups and down. Jonnie, ask the big question.
After this monumentous journey and, hopefully, successful test drive,
do you now want to buy or not to buy?
I think it's a good possibility that after a few more enquiries we might buy it.
-Well, She Who Must Be Obeyed has spoken.
-Now we cut to the quick.
-I think that's fair comment, mate. Very, very diplomatically put.
But it sounds very positive, just dotting Is and crossing Ts?
-I think it is.
-Could well be.
-It's been an absolute pleasure.
-We hope wherever you end up becomes your home for many years.
-I hope so.
-Thanks for your help.
-See you later.