Lichfield To Buy or Not to Buy


Lichfield

Property series. Ed Hall and Jonny Benarr are property samurais as they karate kick their way though three fantastic properties in Lichfield.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

So, we meet again, young Jonny.

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That we do, Ed, but this time I will be the victor.

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-I will claim the "to buy".

-In your dreams, young sidekick.

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I am a property samurai

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and I will be crowned the To Buy Or Not To Buy master.

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You've broken the code by which us estate agents swear by.

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And for that, you will pay.

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-Well, in that case...

-SPLUTTERS

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We should get on with today's action-packed show.

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These black belt properties won't find themselves.

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Who better to do it than two property ninjas Jonny and myself?

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Let's see who's stepping into the fray...

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today.

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'The Staffordshire village of Handsacre

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'is where Paul and Maria reside.

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'With a tight green belt, martial artist Paul uses home like a dojo.

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'This professional tyre fitter, after stubbing his toe too many times, has a longing for more space.

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'After scouring the property pages and internet,

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'radiographer Maria has seen through all that estate agent jargon

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'and feels like they could utilise our help to facilitate a leg-up onto that property ladder.'

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Thank you very much for inviting us into your lovely house.

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It's quite snug, and that's part of the reason you're looking to move.

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-We've just outgrown it, haven't we?

-Yeah.

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Is this because you've outgrown it with stuff you've acquired?

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I noticed you've got a running machine in your conservatory.

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-Is this indicative of all the other rooms?

-I think so.

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-You accumulate and eventually you've got to get a bigger house.

-There's nowhere to put it all.

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-There's only so many cubbyholes.

-You can squeeze things into.

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In terms of things that you do, you've got your...

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-"Hi-ya!"

-Yes!

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Which you've neatly stored, your belts.

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What other things have we got to fit into this house?

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-I'm starting reiki.

-OK. You just need a rake for that!

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-That's kind of healing powers.

-Yes.

-With your hands?

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-Without actually touching.

-Yeah.

-Generating warmth.

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Yeah. In layman's terms, that's it.

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So we've got reiki. Do you need a room for that?

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-Are you going to reiki from home or out and about?

-From home.

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-So, like a table.

-A massage table?

-A massage table. That's it.

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What are we helping you find today?

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Basically, we're looking for, without being too greedy,

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more space, a detached house.

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-Driveway for your van.

-Yeah.

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-Detached?

-Detached is our main one.

-Main one?

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-Detached, three bedrooms, ideally.

-Why, why, why detached?

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We're in a mid-terrace now. Until you live in a mid-terrace...

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You've got people there and there. You don't want anyone.

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In a modern house, the walls are thinner.

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-Where do you want to be?

-We like this area, don't we?

-Yeah.

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It's close to Lichfield. It's close to work, close to the A38.

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We like Armitage and Handsacre.

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-Shall we have the budget?

-Yeah.

-Come on, then.

-Go on.

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-175.

-175.

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You shouldn't be nervous! Wish us luck.

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-We will see you later on.

-OK.

-See ya in a bit.

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I might be setting myself up for a fall but this should be fairly easy.

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They don't seem too fussy.

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Easy? Think back to the amount of money and their major requirement.

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-Detached.

-£175,000.

-There's a premium with detached houses.

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I'm going to endeavour to find something intriguing about the area.

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I'm putting all my faith in the local estate agents

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to find us three perfect houses for today's buyers.

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'Scintillating south Staffordshire within glorious Middle England

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'is home to breathtaking countryside,

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'the unique three spires of Lichfield Cathedral

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'and the recently discovered Staffordshire Hoard.

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'Nearby, beaming our illustrious show into some of your living rooms

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'is the Sutton Coldfield TV transmitter mast, which began broadcasting the BBC in 1949.

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'This mast covers the third highest population in the UK.

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'That's a lot of TV gold relying on this 271-metre tower

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'to reach around five million inhabitants across the area.

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'If you're after a home for these inhabitants,

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'the average price for a detached property in Staffs is £280,000,

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'so we may have our work cut out.

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'What could Paul and Maria's 175,000 buy near other transmitters?

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'Covering four million people, the Emley Moor mast in West Yorkshire.

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'Nearby, this renovated three-bed family home is a bargain at...

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'Leapfrogging Sutton's mast is Winter Hill, serving seven million people.

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'You'll find this lovely modern detached home in Chorley. The cost:

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'And top of the props, sending our faces to more than 11 million people

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'is a mast in Crystal Palace.

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'This one-bedroom apartment in a Victorian townhouse

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'would set you back...'

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-I'm with Karina, a local property expert. Thank you.

-No problem.

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Armitage is home to world renowned toilet manufacturer Armitage Shanks.

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The factory was founded here in 1817 and that beauty over there

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has been pumping out porcelain masterpieces ever since.

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Next time you sit or stand at one, don't think of me, think of that.

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Of course, other toilets are available.

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Without the first-time buyers moving up, no-one can get going.

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Exactly. That's where it all starts.

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As soon as that goes forward, the rest of the market picks up.

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Lichfield is a small city that is fiercely proud of its heritage -

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so fiercely proud that the local council have organised tours.

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Gruesome And Ghostly Lichfield,

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Bloodthirsty Lichfield - genuinely for children - and my favourite,

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Pubs, Priests and Prost... ladies of the night.

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In fact, I might go on that tour now.

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It is going off the boil a little for investors.

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They're sort of holding back, but they are still about.

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Things are still selling, just not as much as a few years ago.

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The Staffordshire crest is emblazoned with a Staffordshire knot.

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The Staffordshire knot came into being in a strange way.

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Three people committed a crime.

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They couldn't work out who to hang first, so the hangman devised the Staffordshire knot

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so they could hang all three at the same time.

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Why they decided to put this knot on their coat of arms is another story.

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In the quest for a detached property

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-I have done brilliantly. Jonny, yourself?

-Not too bad.

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Met Karina, who has helped us fantastically.

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Property one is quite a safe bet,

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it's essentially a detached version of what they've got. I like it.

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I've gone for a bigger version of Jonny's - a bigger, better version.

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It is lovely. It's kind of got it all.

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The wildcard is a metaphorical mountain for Ed and I to overcome.

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-But it's lovely.

-It IS lovely.

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-They wanted it to be detached. Is it?

-No.

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-They wanted a two-storey house. Is it?

-No.

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They wanted everything it's got. They just don't realise it.

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It might throw them when they see it but they'd be fools to disregard it.

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-Where shall we start the journey?

-Jonny's choice, property one.

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'For my property, we're off to Armitage. It's detached.

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'It has three bedrooms, a private garden and a conservatory.

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'Fingers crossed it's what Paul and Maria are looking for.'

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The great British weather has turned on us once again.

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Jujitsu not only makes you hard but weatherproof, despite the rain.

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You are going to dress for summertime, no matter what.

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There's no such thing as the wrong weather, just the wrong clothes.

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-Here we are. We're just round the corner from your own place.

-Yeah.

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Immediately, I'm hoping you're noticing the abundance of parking.

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-Yeah. Looking good.

-And detached.

-Brilliant.

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-Is this it, then? From the outside, is this what we're after?

-Yes.

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-This is perfect.

-All we need is the price and we'll move in!

-Yeah!

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-I told you!

-So, you just need to know the price?

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-We'll have it.

-The viewers have got to experience you looking round.

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-Go through the oohs and aahs.

-Go in there, do the house tour.

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-Enjoy yourselves.

-Lovely. Thank you.

-Enjoy!

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This is nice. Through to the lounge.

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This is lovely.

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Very nice.

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I like the fire. The fire's nice.

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They've already committed to buying it without seeing it.

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As long as it looks OK inside, done deal.

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Is that a dining room? Yeah. That's something we haven't got.

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-What's one of those? Lovely.

-I like this, yeah.

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They're convinced their house is one of the smallest houses on Earth. It isn't THAT small.

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You couldn't charge money for it as a museum piece.

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And a conservatory. Bonus!

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It's not as big as our one, but very nice.

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Into the kitchen. Oh, it's a nice size, isn't it?

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Yeah. Spacious. I'm not too sure on the white.

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It makes it look bigger.

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Luckily for Paul, he's inside. Ed and I are in the garden getting wet.

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It is getting a bit wet now.

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Ooh, it's got a landing! We're not used to a landing!

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CHUCKLES Little things please me.

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The joy in Maria's voice tangible when describing that landing.

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-This must be...one of the smaller rooms.

-That's nice.

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That's a nice little size for all your junk.

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Oh. Bedroom number two.

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-Oh, this is a nice size.

-Yeah.

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The view's nice, as well.

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-No train track there.

-Just trees!

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-You're not overlooked.

-Listen to that.

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They're upstairs, where the only Achilles' heel is.

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Viewers, you'll know which one it is when we get there.

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Bathroom. Nice tiles.

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Nice and clean. Ooh, a stand-up shower. Bonus.

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-Yeah.

-Lovely.

-Excellent.

-No bath, though. Just shower.

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Mind you, that's good, isn't it? We don't use the bath anyway. Nice.

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Oh! It goes into a bedroom.

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Just like an en suite.

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THEY LAUGH Lovely.

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This is a nice size.

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-That's nice.

-And it's got double windows.

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A lot of light coming in, yeah.

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Lovely sized master bedroom. Two windows. Fitted wardrobes. En suite, Jack and Jill.

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-Jonny's done well. Shall we go and see what the price is?

-Yeah.

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-See how much it's going to cost us.

-Yeah.

-OK.

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Your first tour is now complete.

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Outside, you said you were going to buy the place.

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-Have you seen anything in here that would take you away from that train of thought?

-No.

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-Just dependant on the price.

-All on the price?

-Yeah.

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In here, you couldn't work out if it was any bigger,

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-the same size or smaller than the house you have.

-That's one issue.

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It's like Jonny said earlier, because detached is our priority

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-we might have to compromise.

-You'd make that compromise. OK.

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-If the price is right, we end the programme here!

-You cool with that?

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-I'm cool with that.

-Nearly.

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It would be a shame not to see mine or the wildcard.

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Now, £175,000 maximum budget.

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You're nervous cos I feel you feel this might be too expensive.

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How much is this on the market for? You first, Maria.

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I think 174,500. Right at the top.

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Paul?

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I think it's going to be...

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-smack on the budget. 175.

-OK.

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Upped by £500. It's a great strategy. Congratulations.

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Although I'm going to disappoint you slightly. It is over budget.

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Not by too much. 179,950.

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-Happy with that price?

-Yeah. We're happy.

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-It's not too much over budget.

-Yeah. We can sort something out.

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-Shall we see two other houses you might buy?

-Yes.

-Onwards to my choice. This way.

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'The day is young, Jonny, and my awesome property is about to thrill.

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'Also in Armitage, this three-bed detached family home

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'rocks an extended kitchen-breakfast room

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'and all-round space galore.'

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Walk towards this beauty, which is still in Armitage,

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slightly further away from a train.

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-I've got one question. Do you want to buy it?

-Yeah.

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ALL LAUGH

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Outside the last one, you were fairly convinced.

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-This one, n'est-ce pas, a little bit bigger?

-Yeah. Very nice.

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-That wasn't what I was expecting.

-Nice windows.

-Thank you.

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We've sacrificed the garage.

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It is one of the best garage conversions I've seen.

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You've got the apex there.

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They've utilised that and it's a very good conversion.

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What do you think about it? Garden at front. What do you think?

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Very aesthetically pleasing. Really pretty.

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-Are you ready?

-We're ready.

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-So, on paper, will you buy it?

-I'll buy it.

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Good. Three, two, one. Internal viewing highly recommended. Go!

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Straight into the dining room.

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Oh. That's a bit strange.

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-So this is how they've converted the garage.

-Yeah.

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Let's have a look. Oh, that's nice, up there.

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-Yeah. Nice beams.

-Very nice.

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They're walking straight into the action.

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I say why waste an area on a hall space when you can have that?

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-They're in it.

-A lot of people prefer that open-plan feel.

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-Kitchen.

-This is nice and big, isn't it?

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Yes. I'm not too sure of the doors again, but that's...

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-We can change them.

-That's cosmetic, isn't it?

-Yeah.

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It seems bigger than the other kitchen.

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Yeah, much nicer size.

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Into the...lounge.

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Ooh, wow. Oh, this is nice.

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That's a nice space!

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You can see it's a lot bigger than ours.

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They've sectioned this area off

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and got the office computer as well.

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Maria is used to looking at a layout of a human. She looks at X-rays.

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She's looking at the layout using her expert eye. I think it pleases her.

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A lot of landing here.

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This is the first room.

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-It's a good size.

-Fits a single bed. It's all right for a spare room.

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Second bedroom. Oh, this is a nice size.

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Oh, yeah. It is, isn't it? It's a big window as well.

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Nice big window.

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-They're overlooked a little bit more than the last house.

-Yeah.

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-Bathroom. Oh! Floor's nice.

-It's like a laminate floor.

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-Not as nice as the last bathroom.

-I don't know. It's bigger.

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This is nice. A nice size.

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-We'd get our bed in here, wouldn't we?

-Big windows again.

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Just the one window.

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Overlooking the front? Yeah. Lovely.

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-What's that room there?

-Ooh! They've got a little en suite.

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-That's a little surprise.

-With a shower. That's nice.

-Really nice.

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Ed's done well, hasn't he?

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Considering you said you would buy it from the outside,

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I expected a bit more enthusiasm. It's bigger.

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Much bigger. There were parts when you were, "This is it!"

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Overall, I felt that it didn't...

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I'm doing that for some reason. ..didn't grab you.

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-I think it's bigger and that's good.

-Definitely bigger.

-Much bigger.

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-But, it's just a bit...disjointed? Maybe?

-It does need updating.

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-Straight away.

-Yeah.

-You could live within it.

-Oh, yeah.

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Imagine it done up. A much bigger house, your fireplace, that lovely bit there. It is very nice.

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It is.

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It's 1-0, Paul. You very sneakily put an extra £500 on Maria's guess.

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-So you're going first this time.

-OK.

-What do you think?

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I'm thinking 180.

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Obviously, with the size, you think it's worth a bit more money. 180.

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-Hm. I'm going to go with 169,950.

-169,950?

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-Considerably less!

-Yeah. I'm very optimistic.

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Someone is out by 50 quid. Who is it?

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-Paul.

-It is Paul.

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You have lost Guess The Price. You can only get a sorry second.

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-Oh, shame.

-So, the same price as Jonny's house, 179,950.

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We've got one more to go to. You might want to buy that one as well.

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This is the wildcard! This way.

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'Last, but never least, today's wildcard.

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'It's not detached, but its location is swell and its grounds are lush.

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'What it lacks in separation, it makes up with in decor and space,

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'making this a beautifully finished family home.'

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OK, welcome to the wildcard.

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-What did you stipulate you wanted in your property?

-A detached house.

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So we brought you to a semi-detached bungalow!

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-There is method to our madness.

-Genuinely, there is. Don't fear it.

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As far as footprint's concerned,

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with a detached house, you're paying a premium to be detached.

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This has the biggest footprint. First impressions?

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It deviates wildly from what you were hoping for. What do you reckon?

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Yeah. You were doing so well.

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-You first, Paul.

-You were doing so well.

-And now...?

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-And then...

-Give us a chance.

-Yeah. I'll be open-minded.

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-Shouldn't have asked Paul. Maria?

-We've never thought about a bungalow, have we?

0:19:420:19:47

It's not just your stereotypical older people, bungalows.

0:19:470:19:53

-Youth are in them as well.

-That's true.

0:19:530:19:55

You've wanted to buy every house so far. Do you want to buy this one?

0:19:550:19:58

No.

0:19:580:20:00

-I think you'll be bowled over once you get inside!

-Inside, it is very different.

0:20:000:20:04

Three, two, one, be that bungalow. Go!

0:20:040:20:08

Be positive.

0:20:080:20:10

Ooh. It's different, isn't it? I've never looked around a bungalow.

0:20:180:20:23

First room.

0:20:230:20:26

It's like a little office, isn't it?

0:20:260:20:29

-A very strange room, isn't it?

-Very compact.

0:20:290:20:32

-Bathroom!

-Oh, yeah!

0:20:350:20:37

-This is nice.

-I like the bathroom.

-This is lovely.

0:20:370:20:41

-Really nice. A free-standing bath.

-Nice tub, yeah.

-Oh, it's lovely.

0:20:410:20:46

Is a really nice bathroom enough to outweigh their desire for a detached property?

0:20:460:20:52

None of the bathrooms have been outstanding until this one, which is lovely.

0:20:520:20:57

This must be the second bedroom.

0:20:590:21:02

It's a nice size, isn't it?

0:21:020:21:04

Strange having it on the first floor, though, looking outside.

0:21:040:21:08

I don't know whether I like that. Bedroom on the first floor.

0:21:080:21:13

-This is the main bedroom.

-It's massive.

0:21:130:21:17

-Really, really big.

-Again it's at the front though, isn't it?

0:21:170:21:22

Nice room, but I can't get used to bedrooms being on the ground floor.

0:21:220:21:29

-I don't think it's what we want.

-No.

0:21:290:21:32

-In Hollywood, this is how they live!

-We've seen The Hills.

-This is how they live!

0:21:320:21:38

-This is a nice size living room.

-Wow!

-Brilliant.

0:21:410:21:44

-Not so sure about...

-No. I like it, I do.

-It's a good size, though.

0:21:440:21:49

Yeah. Again, it's a nice size. Really big.

0:21:490:21:53

The kitchen, now.

0:21:530:21:55

-The kitchen's big, isn't it?

-Oh, wow! Yeah.

0:21:550:21:59

Really nice kitchen.

0:21:590:22:02

-It's the nicest kitchen we've seen.

-Yeah. It is.

0:22:020:22:05

Nicest kitchen they've seen. Nicest bathroom. What sell houses?

0:22:050:22:10

-Kitchens and bathrooms.

-And location.

-Location, sometimes.

0:22:100:22:14

And a conservatory. That's a bonus, isn't it?

0:22:140:22:18

Yeah. That's nice.

0:22:190:22:22

It's a good size, but it's just not what we're looking for, is it?

0:22:220:22:27

We came, we saw, we don't feel like we conquered the wildcard today.

0:22:300:22:34

Why, though? This place is big and nice.

0:22:340:22:38

We just don't like the bedrooms on the front, downstairs. Not our cup of tea, is it?

0:22:380:22:44

It's big, but I don't think we're used to it all being on one floor.

0:22:440:22:49

As they say in the housing game, kitchens and bathrooms sell houses.

0:22:490:22:55

-You liked the kitchen and bathroom more than both houses.

-Yeah. True.

0:22:550:23:00

-Shall we play Guess The Price?

-Yeah.

0:23:000:23:03

We had £175,000 maximum budget.

0:23:030:23:06

-What is the price?

-172 and a half.

-LAUGHTER

0:23:060:23:11

-172,500, OK.

-Maria, the pressure's on you.

0:23:110:23:15

-I'd say 169,950.

-There you go!

0:23:150:23:19

Pride is back on the plate. Congratulations.

0:23:190:23:23

It's considerably less than that. It's on the market for 157,950,

0:23:230:23:27

so a real bargain.

0:23:270:23:29

Do you think that might help the decision along?

0:23:290:23:32

-No.

-No.

-You have now got to make the biggest decision of your adult lives.

0:23:320:23:37

Good luck, and we will see you at your chosen vehicle. See you later.

0:23:370:23:42

This is where the jeopardy kicks in.

0:23:420:23:45

-It's down to your house or my house.

-Neck-and-neck!

-Who will it be?

0:23:450:23:49

-Normally, it's the wildcard.

-This is exciting for us.

0:23:490:23:52

-OK, what should we do now?

-Give them a recap?

-Have a recap.

0:23:520:23:57

Spin through this one but look at our two closely.

0:23:570:24:00

'My property went down a proverbial storm.

0:24:000:24:03

'Granted, it was comparable in size to their own home,

0:24:030:24:06

'but the detached plot was a major selling point.

0:24:060:24:09

'And the test drive race isn't over. On the market for:

0:24:090:24:11

'But with my choice, size was not a problem.

0:24:140:24:17

'It dwarfed their mid-terrace home

0:24:170:24:20

'and sported a superb garage conversion to boot.

0:24:200:24:24

'Finally, our wildcard.

0:24:270:24:29

'Immaculate inside and boasting the best bathroom and kitchen...

0:24:290:24:33

'I don't think Paul and Maria could get past single storey living.

0:24:330:24:38

Hm, which has reigned supreme?

0:24:410:24:43

'As I said 20 minutes ago, I am the To Buy Or Not To Buy master.

0:24:450:24:51

'Touche, Ed. The size of your choice seems to have won the day.

0:24:510:24:55

'Paul and Maria have jumped right in to their in-depth second viewing.

0:24:550:25:00

'Maria measures up for either running machine or reiki table.

0:25:020:25:07

'Worry not, you could fit both.

0:25:070:25:09

'And Paul, Ed has made sure that there's plenty of driveway for your trusty van.

0:25:090:25:15

'But let's be honest. Paul is all about the jujitsu.

0:25:150:25:19

'He can't wait to don his gi and get stuck into a kata, while Maria takes it in her stride.'

0:25:190:25:25

There was genuine, genuine jeopardy amongst Jonny and myself,

0:25:270:25:31

as to which property you'd pick and you have gone for this one, which is my house.

0:25:310:25:35

-Why did you go for this?

-There's just more potential.

0:25:350:25:39

-I like you. I love you, Paul.

-And bigger.

0:25:390:25:43

You've had the test drive.

0:25:430:25:45

You've measured and read and done very little.

0:25:450:25:48

-You've humiliated yourself in many ways.

-Yeah!

0:25:480:25:53

The jujitsu community won't see it as humiliating yourself!

0:25:530:25:57

How does it feel to do kung fu in the back garden

0:25:570:26:01

-and for you to sit and laugh whilst watching?

-It's great.

0:26:010:26:04

-You enjoyed it.

-Yeah. I've enjoyed it.

-Shall we do it?

0:26:040:26:09

You go for it.

0:26:090:26:10

The house you already said you were going to buy, to buy or not to buy? That is the question.

0:26:100:26:16

-To buy.

-Have that!

0:26:170:26:20

-Would you like any caveats?

-If we could negotiate the price.

0:26:200:26:25

-OK, you are allowed to haggle.

-Yeah.

0:26:250:26:27

-Other than that, happy days.

-Yeah.

0:26:270:26:29

-Have you enjoyed yourselves?

-It's been brilliant.

0:26:290:26:32

-When you buy the house, invite us round for a cup of tea.

-Will do.

-And don't kung fu kick us.

0:26:320:26:38

-See you later on.

-Thank you. Bye.

0:26:380:26:41

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