Stamford To Buy or Not to Buy

-Hello and welcome.

-Today, we are in the villages of South Lincolnshire.

And if we can weave our magic correctly, it will soon become home

to one of the bravest people we've ever had on the programme.

On To Buy Or Not To Buy today, we are featuring

probably one of the bravest people we have ever had on the programme.

That's right. Today's buyer Mark was in the Army for over seven years,

serving Queen and country.

That's not why he's brave. I mean, he WAS for doing that, but that's not the reason I was thinking.

Right, yes. Mark cycled from Land's End to John O'Groats and back again, raising thousands for charity.

-That's great, heroic and brave - but he's not brave for that, either.

-No? What is it, then?

It's the work thing. Mark is in the Fire Service, saving people from burning buildings.

-He is a phenomenal guy, beautiful and brave, but that is also not the reason why he's brave.

-Really?

The reason he's brave is he's on the show with his mother-in-law.

-That IS brave.

-Brave, indeed.

'Coming up on To Buy Or Not To Buy... Jonny's sales pitch gets off to a bad start.'

Barn conversion you alluded to. It isn't, but it's got that sort of feel to it.

It was an old bakery!

It was a bakery? That's almost the opposite.

-'There is harsh words from the mother-in-law.'

-A little office.

-A collection of...is it radios?

-Don't think of that. Think of what you could do with this room.

-'But, luckily, to every problem...'

-Every woman should have one of these.

-'..we provide a solution.'

Every man should have this option.

-Our buyers today are Mark and Liz.

-Between them, they make up two of the three emergency services.

-Mark's a fireman and Liz is a police officer.

-They met at the Police and Fire World Games

in Canada a couple of years ago, when love blossomed over an isotonic drink and a power bar.

-You mentioned a mother-in-law?

-I did. Liz's job as a Royal Protection Officer means she's working.

-So her mum, Jean, has been drafted in to help Mark with his search.

-Good luck, Mark. You'll need it.

-This is a treat for all of us. Mark, you're a very brave man. The mother-in-law is here!

-Hello!

-I'm very pleased to be here.

-We're pleased you're here, as well.

-Liz couldn't make it.

-No, sadly.

-I don't want to go into specifics, but Liz does a brilliant job.

-She certainly does.

She's a police officer with the Met and she is with the Royals at the moment.

-Does she meet all of the Royals?

-Well, not personally on a day-to-day basis.

-Is she hiding up a tree?

-Has she got a favourite?

-Oh, no...

-You can't reveal that!

So you've been furnished with information of what to look out for. Start there. What's she looking for?

-She wants a house in a community...

-Mm-hm.

-..where she can...

Where there's a shop and a pub.

-Are we talking villages?

-Villages, really.

-But I think Mark's got different ideas.

-Oh, OK. So we've already got conflict right at the start.

-Go on.

-It's the only thing where we're really...

-not massively at variance.

-Come on.

I'd like to be just no neighbours, middle of nowhere,

country lane, no houses.

Are you prepared to compromise? Clearly, Liz will call the shots!

-Would you be able to deal with living in a rural community?

-I think we could compromise.

-All right.

We both want the same thing for the house.

OK, regardless of location, for the time being, what does this place look like?

Erm, we're looking at whether it's semi-detached, detached.

Erm...three to four bedrooms.

-We're talking more olde worlde, rather than new.

-OK.

-Is this all correct, Jean? Describe the look of it.

-I can see it being

-like a stone-built nice barn, perhaps.

-Oh, OK.

-Look at this!

-An animal house.

-Did Liz give you this or is this Jean speaking?

-I've got to stop that, haven't I?

But an old property. Not a new modern one.

Let's talk about areas. You're after a character property. That's what we're aiming towards.

We looked in North Lincolnshire, then we ventured this way on the way home.

-We saw Stamford and went...

-Wow!

-Ahhh! We love it.

-It's lovely.

-So areas around Stamford we can have as our central point and go around there?

-Yeah.

How have you settled on Lincolnshire as the place?

It's sort of the fact that we're living in Leicestershire now.

We like the area and we're sort of looking in between Jean living in Essex

and my mum living in Lancashire. It's sort of a mid-ground.

Now with your sports, I'm guessing lots of equipment happens and you need things nearby.

-What can't you live without? What do you need to store?

-I can answer that.

It's got to have outbuildings so I lose the motorbike in my garage, which is Liz's,

there's a surfboard in her bedroom that I want to go, and all her bits.

-So it's got to have an outbuilding to get my house free of clutter.

-Finally,

-what are you bringing to the party?

-10 bikes...

-10?!

-A motor home.

-Right.

-A windsurfer.

-And the surfboard.

-And the surfboard.

And then all the equipment that goes with triathlon, really.

-All the Lycra you can handle!

-Yes!

So a lot, an awful lot of stuff.

I've got a question. I imagine the answer is positive.

You're a firefighter. Have you done a saucy calendar shoot?

-Yes, I've done the calendar.

-Oh, yes. It's in Liz's bedroom.

-You see!

-Should have brought it along. It's quite good.

-I'm relieved you didn't!

Can you do us the April face?

No!

All right. Your requirements aren't too strict.

Is there anything else? Beyond the excessive amount of storage?

Liz's requirements are large, nice dining/kitchen.

-And a granny annexe. She didn't say that, but I have.

-No, she didn't.

So...we're at the point now. We've got a lot of stuff to store.

How much money have we got?

We're talking around 250.

-250.

-That sort of Stamp Duty level.

-Yes, try to keep it below if we can.

-You are prepared to spend up to 250. That's the budget to purchase at.

-Yeah.

-So we could have a haggle zone

-to haggle back to 250?

-Yeah.

-Works for me.

-We'll disappear now.

-Anything you've forgotten about is now irrelevant. All right, we'll see you later.

-OK, thanks.

Everything I learnt from Les Dawson seems to be wrong.

-Mother-in-law and son-in-law in perfect harmony. Lovely.

-Goes against everything we've learnt.

The biggest concern is will we get the face of April from Mark? That's my big concern.

-Houses, we're fine.

-The other big concern is finding the property they're after. We have a battle -

mother-in-law, son-in-law. Liz's wants represented by Jean, with Mark on the other side.

-Do we go isolated, semi-rural?

-I think we play to Liz's wants.

-Yeah.

Today's search takes us to the villages around Stamford and Bourne in Lincolnshire.

Stamford is a historic town, mainly built in the Jacobean and Georgian periods.

-It has over 600 listed buildings.

-It was the first town to be declared a conservation area, back in 1967.

Nearby, RAF Wittering is the home of the Harrier jump jet,

-which first came into service in 1969 and is still flying today.

-Incredible.

The picturesque town of Bourne, about ten miles north of Stamford, was home to a motor sport legend.

British Racing Motors, BRM, achieved Grand Prix success

back in the '60s with Graham Hill winning the 1962 world championship in a car built here in Bourne.

But now it's time to feast your eyes on our selection of properties in other rural areas of the UK.

How about this detached barn conversion in Penzance?

The two bed property is finished to a high standard, with exposed wood and stone

giving it a rustic, yet contemporary, feel.

Or how's about this detached 1930s home in Prestatyn, Wales?

It boasts four bedrooms, a large Shaker-style kitchen, garage and off-street parking.

And last, but certainly not least, there's this four-bed home, just south of Beverley in Yorkshire.

With a beautiful contemporary decor

and lovely gardens, it could be yours for...

But now it's time for me to make an appearance back in Stamford.

The magnificent Burghley House, on the outskirts of Stamford,

is one of the principal examples of 16th-Century Elizabethan architecture.

Our buyers today have a budget of around £250,000.

-And they do like Stamford.

-Everybody likes Stamford, but £250,000 doesn't get you a lot.

Built by William Cecil, it comprises of 35 principal rooms and 80 lesser rooms.

The roof alone is 3/4 of an acre.

The further east they come, the cheaper the houses will become and the more choice you'll get.

-How is the market around here?

-I'd say it seems fairly stable.

Prices aren't shooting up or crashing down. Good quality properties are still being sold.

That's how it's always been.

It's been featured in Pride and Prejudice, The Da Vinci Code and today it's made the A-list

and is on To Buy Or Not To Buy. Lucky you, Burghley House. Lucky you.

-Right, we've got some absolute gems.

-We have. We've played to both Mark and to Liz,

Liz, of course, being played by the character of Jean.

Property One is positioned more towards Liz.

It has got character, which they asked for. It is detached.

-And it has parking for their camper van.

-Has it got enough storage?

-Plenty of storage.

Nothing can possibly go wrong. Here's my choice, Property One.

Now Property Two, my beauty, I have played to Mark's desire for the middle of nowhere.

I'm kind of the middle of nowhere, but also the middle of somewhere.

The house is very, very big. There is a phrase I often use, "there's an elephant in the room".

There are several elephants in the room with this property.

-Basically, it's a zoo.

-If they can get over those issues, they get a lot of house for not a lot of money.

-It's a cracker.

-The wild card. As Mark is here and Liz isn't,

we've also directed this one more towards Mark's needs. "No immediate neighbours."

-That's what Mark is after.

-If you plan to come on the programme and the wife can't make it,

-you will be favoured heavily. It's a beautiful house.

-It is.

It's a little bit out of their area, to demonstrate that you can get more bang for your buck.

-So those are the houses. Where shall we start?

-Property One?

-Jonny's one.

My choice is in the lovely Lincolnshire village of Langtoft, nine miles east of Stamford.

It's a three-bed converted bakehouse with all the extras Mark asked for.

It'll be hard to beat this one.

OK, here we go, Property 1.

Jean, Mark, welcome. We're in Langtoft.

Immediately for you, this isn't isolated and rural.

-This is more geared for Liz's needs.

-Right.

We're in Camp Jean with the kind of property I hope you were describing.

-Characterful, a barn conversion was something you alluded to.

-It was.

-It isn't, but it's got that feel. It was an old bakery.

-It's not that at all, but it was a bakery!

-Almost the opposite.

-First impressions?

-Well, I liked it.

It looks really nice...

-from the outside.

-It's ticking a few boxes for me.

You probably think it's a cottage, head-ducking problems. Do not worry about that.

We've got knee pads for you!

There is an Achilles' heel. I won't flag it up just yet. You will notice it.

But it's a worthwhile compromise, to give you something extra special upstairs. Mystery!

The main dilemma is, is this too built-up an area?

-Initially, yes.

-For you, this is.

-For me, yes.

-Let's get a word from Liz, as Jean.

Liz would accept it. There's a church there, a village hall. It's a community.

Exactly what you're after. OK, what's it going to deliver inside that'll make you happy?

-It's got to have a bit of wow factor. I'm still...

-See? Look at that!

-There you go.

-Look at that.

-It's a Hummer!

-Pulling a caravan!

-A little bit too busy.

-So you need the wow factor to get over that. There's a car!

-People driving(!)

-Look for the wow factor. It might come in the form of a rabbit. Go!

-There is genuinely a rabbit in this house, folks.

-Its name is Doughnut and it wanders around.

-That's a fact. Shall we?

-Hop to it?

-Come on.

Very nice, Mark.

-Is it a working fire? Could be?

-Could be.

-'Is it?

-Yes.'

-It is.

-Just needs a quick chimney sweep. The current vendor just doesn't want baked rabbit.

-There it is.

-Is that Doughnut?

-Yeah.

Rabbit stew tonight.

-Nice.

-Yeah.

-So far.

I like it.

-It's decorated lovely, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-I think Liz would like it.

It's just...

The only issue is size. If it was bigger, but a similar kind of style, it would be spot on.

-Dining room, but it hasn't got a kitchen with it.

-No kitchen/diner.

-It must be the kitchen next, so...

-I like it.

I could certainly live with this as a dining room,

but the whole living space is not that big.

Could you...? No, you can't knock through. That's the stairs.

-Or you'd take out your whole chimney.

-Kitchen now.

-Very nice.

-Ah, now this is good, yeah.

-So you can use a table in here.

-I like this. Lizzie would love this. She really would.

-Yeah.

-Lizzie would love it.

-What is it?

-The kitchen.

-Good news.

It's not perfectly ideal for the eating side,

as in sitting relaxing while somebody else is cooking. It's not the perfect space for that.

At the moment, when this broadcasts, Liz could be watching this programme

-because she looks after the Royals with Liz.

-Think she calls her Liz?

-Could do.

-They have the same name.

-They could be doing that now.

The Queen will be saying, "I like it, Liz. You should move in there."

-Is it a bathroom?

-It is a bathroom.

-It's been nicely done.

-It reminds me of the Hitchcock movie.

-It's in need of a little bit of an update.

You've got to have something to do in your spare time!

The problem people have with downstairs bathrooms is they imagine themselves needing the toilet

-between midnight and four o'clock.

-Yeah.

-And that bit kills them.

-How often do you do that?

-Quite a lot.

-But you're older.

OK, let's go up.

Let's have a look left first. Mm, a nice bedroom. Master bedroom, I would say.

-It looks like it.

-This is quite big, Mark.

It's a good size. Could certainly fit our bed in.

Right.

-It's a good size for a third room.

-Yeah. Would I fit in here?

-It's not too bad.

-What about a nursery room, Mark?

-Ideal, Jean, ideal.

-Let's move on, shall we?

-Yeah.

Oh, wow. This is a big room. This is it.

That's the reaction from Jean I wanted. Come on, Mark!

-It's...

-A pause, a stumble and a hesitation!

When I walked in, I was thinking it would be a country cottage -

chintz and that - but it isn't.

I'm glad!

I'm not sure what they want. Do they want chintzy? What is chintzy?

-This is country with a modern twist. Ish.

-It's that nice blend between character and contemporary.

They could easily revert it back to more character, without the contemporary.

-Oh, it's quite a big garage.

-A good size.

-You couldn't get your motor home in here,

-but motorbike, surfboard, rubbish...

-Lots of bikes, yeah.

What's lovely, at no point has Jean stopped mentioning, "It could take the bikes and the surfboard

"that are stored at MY house. Get them out. Out of my house!"

-This is why Jean's here. Liz was available, but Jean wanted the stuff...

-She wants the most storage.

Oh, wow. Look at this.

-It's a...posh sun room?

-Yeah. This is nice.

Ah. I could live here.

-It's not a bedroom, Jean.

-I know. I could be invited to stay.

-It's certainly a surprise.

-Yeah.

I didn't even know it existed.

What is wrong with you two? That place is lovely. It's characterful, it's got the space

-and it's got a gym outside.

-It's not got the space we want.

I was going to say!

You are outdoorsy people. Didn't want to give you too much inside.

I want to encourage you to maintain your outdoor pursuits.

-Jonny's initial thought of the Achilles' heel was the downstairs bathroom.

-Didn't phase you?

-We've got one now.

-So that's fine.

-What is the crux of the issue?

-Size of the living room. Not enough living space, really.

-Good size dining room and... it's just not grabbing us.

-Just not catching us.

Not giving you the vibe, the feeling that you want.

Which is a shame. Outside is great. It's got all the storage you need.

-It's a plus for me!

-Shall we play Guess the Price?

-You go first.

-Straight in!

-We've got a maximum budget of £250,000.

-Good luck with this. You don't know the area very well.

-I don't.

-Mark?

-I'd say around 240.

-So 240's your number?

-240's the number.

I would say...

..one nine nine nine. 200.

-You're saying 200.

-200,000.

-£200,000, OK.

-I think I might be winning this.

-Yes. It's on the market for £269,950.

-Wow! I was way out!

-You were. 70 grand, not bad(!)

-Take it as a positive, Mark. It's a victory for you.

-What do you think?

-Where's the next one?

-Come on!

-After you, please.

Well, for my property I've come north of Stamford, to Little Bytham in the gorgeous countryside,

for this classic Victorian home. This four-bed property

will give Mark and Liz all the space they desire.

Mark and Jean, we are at Property Two, the one you wished to be whisked away to after Property One.

We are in Little Bytham. It may be the name of the village, but look at the size of this beauty.

I don't want to compare it to Jonny's, but I'm going to.

I would say maybe twice the size.

-That's ludicrous.

-"Maybe" was there.

-Jean, I'm coming to you first. It's a little remote.

-I know.

-But the house is huge.

-I love it.

-You love it?

-I said that about the other one outside, but this...

-You changed your mind.

-I think this has got potential.

-Where do you think the potential is?

-It's next to the primary school, which is a bonus.

-I'm thinking of the future.

-That could easily have been a negative.

Not for me. The children have summer holidays, half-term.

OK, so the positive of the school from you, Jean. Thank you.

I thought that was an elephant in the room. The other elephant in the room

-is over that way. Have you seen it?

-I'd say that's a rhinoceros at the back.

-OK, go on.

A charging, rampaging rhino going through your living room every five, six minutes.

It's a little bit further away.

There's always a compromise in life.

The house has got to make up a lot inside. It looks great outside.

What I'll throw out there is that the outlook from the upstairs bedrooms

over these rolling fields is a beautiful vista. Just the shape of the fields.

-It's glorious.

-It is.

-We're loving it.

-I'm ticking boxes.

Brilliant. This is beautiful. You're the one that I'm worried about.

-So are you ready and excited?

-Yes.

-This could be the new home.

-I know.

-I can see myself in there.

-Quick! Before the rhino goes through! Go!

I can't hear anything!

Wipe your feet.

-Nice hall.

-More of a hallway here than the last time.

-Oh, it is nice. Yeah, I like this.

-It's still probably just as small as the other one.

-But it's...cosy.

-It feels a bit nicer.

-Double glazing.

Cosy can only be used within the term, "it feels cosy".

This is massive.

For 250 grand, environs of, massive, isn't it? Massive.

-Ah, I like the hall.

-That looks interesting.

-A little office. A collection of... Is it radios?

-Yeah, but don't think about that.

Think about what you could do here.

-She's good. She's focusing his mind.

-She's playing a really good role.

He's, "Oh, look at that radio."

-"No, listen, lad. Come on."

-Pulling him in. Concentrate.

A nice downstairs loo. Bathroom, shower.

-A shower room?

-Yeah, shower room.

-Providing we've got one upstairs, we're all right.

And then...dining room.

-Dining room/kitchen.

-Oh, this is nice. This is what you wanted.

-Yeah.

-I like it.

-Obviously, the kitchen needs ripping out and a new one put in.

-Yeah, but you can do that.

Mark, when he was in the Army, was in a part which assembled electrical stuff, built bridges...

Mark could build a kitchen in there lickety split. He could probably build it from things he finds here.

-He's not MacGyver.

-He could do that. He could do that.

-Ah.

-Let's have a look.

-A utility.

Oh, yeah. Every woman should have one of these.

-Oh, wonder what's behind there.

-And every man should have this option.

-I like it. Lizzie would love it.

-Yeah.

-She really would.

-We didn't get this in yours. We sort of got the...

-Meh.

-But it's happened here.

-Yeah.

-A train hasn't...

-A train's going past.

-There we go.

-TRAIN ROARS PAST

-You can barely hear it. That's the most important thing.

-A train going past?

-Was it?

-Up we go.

-Let's have a look at what they've got up here.

Another nice landing. I like this.

-Nice and spacious, Mark.

-Quite light, as well. Through here first?

It's another little... Ah, this is interesting.

-Another office.

-Wow.

-That's a good size.

-This is huge, yeah.

-See, they're all nice and big rooms.

-This is a single room, really, this one, isn't it?

-Yeah, but...

-Fantastic views.

-I know. I like it.

Lizzie, you'd like this.

-Oh, look! Another bathroom!

-Now that's...

-Brilliant.

-That's lovely.

-Yeah.

-A third bedroom.

-Third. Oh, gosh. Another big one.

Nice fitted wardrobes. I hope there's a bigger one. This isn't big enough for our bed.

This will be the telling, if it will hold your huge bed.

Yes! It's big.

-Lovely.

-Yeah, that's a better size, isn't it?

It's just perfect. Look, big bed there.

-And it has, again, lovely views.

-Yeah.

-So what have we got altogether? Four bedrooms?

-Yeah.

-Two bathrooms, shower room.

-Kitchen/diner.

-Living room, office.

-Lovely hall. The office, yeah.

The hall and the stairs and the landing is lovely.

It gives you space.

-It feels a nice atmosphere, but...

-You've got a "but".

There's always a "but".

-Mark and Jean... Jean, you love it.

-I did.

-I liked it!

-You didn't like it, you loved it! Did you dislike anything?

-Mark being negative about it.

-You disliked Mark's attitude!

-You were being realistic and pragmatic.

-The hall was nice and spacious.

-You loved the landing.

You see, I can see...children's toys and clothes all over the place.

I feel for you, mate.

It was referred to as a rhino, but you've been inside the house. Some trains have gone past.

Have you noticed them?

-Yes.

-No.

-I didn't hear them!

-Jean couldn't hear them!

-Think about the house, the practicalities of that.

How did the property work? I'll come to you, Mark!

The bathroom was pretty basic, the kitchen wants addressing, but overall, did it work for you?

It's all very workable. There's obviously great potential, if you like.

-Shall we play it?

-Yeah. It's 1-0 to you, Mark.

So your maximum budget is £250,000. Ed's found us a lovely property.

-Jean, you go first this time.

-I reckon 225.

-Again, ludicrously low.

-Is it?

I think Mark wins again.

-TRAIN PASSES

-Rhino!

-After the rhino's finished.

-That's a big one.

-They don't hang about for long.

-Carry on, sorry.

-I'd have a stab in the dark at 265.

OK.

Go on.

-Am I so low?

-You are.

You won the last time, Mark. You have won again.

You've ruined it. The actual price it is on for is offers over £250,000.

Price-wise, it's definitely there. And I think Liz would definitely have to come and see.

-There are a few jobs that need doing, as well.

-Yeah.

And we said if it was exactly what we wanted, possibly just changing curtains, that sort of thing,

-then we'd go to 260.

-Right.

But putting a new kitchen in...

-(Ask her.)

-I think we already have!

Jean, you love it so much, you could end up moving here.

Shall we have these discussions en route to the wildcard?

It's this way.

Yes, folks, it's that time again, the wildcard.

We're a little further away from Stamford and out towards The Fens, at the village of West Pinchbeck.

The property is a little rough, but will they see the potential?

OK, Mark and Jean, here is the third and final property, the wildcard.

Now, what do you think?

I think it's fantastic. I like it. I'm getting really good warm feelings and vibes.

Yeah, we'll have it.

-Jean, you've so far said this outside most properties!

-Did I?

-Well, kind of.

-I did, didn't I?

-It's brilliant.

-Really?

Setting couldn't be any better. I just want to go inside and see if it's as good as the outside.

This is all great news so far, fantastic news. Different area.

That's one reason it's the wildcard. You specified Stamford. We're a little bit further out.

Mark? Does it matter?

No.

-Honestly?

-That was one of my concerns driving down here,

-the fact that you can see for miles, it's flat.

-We're in The Fens.

There are no hills, but we're not far from the hills.

We're not that far from Stamford. I'd like to be closer, but possibly can't afford this

closer to Stamford, so I don't care.

-Compromise happening right there.

-Do you speak for you and Liz?

Yes.

-Liz...

-Jean, is that correct?

-I think so. I really do agree with him this time.

-"This time". Brilliant!

-OK, I want you to go inside and hope it doesn't let you down.

-OK.

-Good luck. Go!

Well, Mark, I like the outside. I wonder what the inside will be?

Stairs up there. Good.

-We're going through.

-Doorway is big enough.

-Oh, look, it's enormous!

It is...perfect.

-Ah.

-It's not your kitchen/diner, but you'd forego that, wouldn't you, for this lovely property?

-You'd have to see if we could do anything with it. It's not Liz's ideal kitchen.

-No.

-But the house is.

-Ah, this is good. Look.

-Ah, now that's a better size.

-It's huge.

-And we've got the open fire.

-Yeah.

-Ah, really, really good. I really like it, do you?

-Yeah.

In the house where Mark will raise his children, Mark can say, "Your grandma found this with me

"on a television programme." And they'll say, "What programme?"

He'll say, "The greatest TV programme ever, To Buy Or Not To Buy.

"The guy called Ed won an Oscar and Jonny... Who knows? Who knows where he went?"

Another... Oh, this is... I said this is what every woman wants.

That makes a big difference to the kitchen. You can have your washing machine...

-Unless it's a granny annexe.

-If you want to live in here.

-Jean is always trying to get herself a place to stay!

-Good girl.

-She's put some hard work in here.

-Two things she's tried, rather unsubtly, to get across -

-she wants grandkids and to live in.

-And to clear out her garage.

-True.

-And a big double garage.

-Yeah.

A-ha! I can see, dare I say,

-surfboard.

-Oh, brilliant space.

-Yeah.

Here we go! She's ticked the boxes now.

Every house, she's done it.

Bedroom one. Been used as an office.

Or a tiny little nursery, as I keep saying.

Yeah, you'd get a single bed in.

-Room two.

-The other room.

-It's a bit bigger.

-This could be the master room.

-It is.

-Get your great big bed in somewhere.

-The bed would have to go this way.

-I like it.

-It'd fit like that.

-A bit smaller.

-Ah, yes.

-But again...

-This wouldn't be your bedroom.

-No.

-This would be your room.

-It's where I'll be!

Does Jean think it's called You Must Buy You Have To Buy?

-She expects Mark to buy a house.

-There are estate agents thinking, "We need a Jean in our office

-"to go on every viewing with our clients."

-Even though it's constant positivity,

-it still seems fresh.

-There's a big bathroom.

-That's a bonus.

-Look at the size of that shower.

-I wouldn't say the inside grabs me as much as the outside does.

-The outside space is everything I want.

-Yeah.

Ho-ho! Hey-hey! A-ha!

So...you wanted to buy from the outside. You want to buy everything.

-But this time I mean it.

-You love it. Mark, you loved it from the outside and wanted to buy.

You went inside, you loved it, but we all spotted there was one area of compromise.

But it would seem it's not too much of a compromise.

-It's not too much. The "but" is obviously the kitchen.

-Yeah.

The kitchen-cum-diner doesn't quite work as it is,

-but I still think we can work with it.

-That's love, isn't it?

They only asked for one thing. "Just get me a kitchen/diner."

Now it's, "That's the one thing we can live without."

Let's look at the garden. This is a phenomenal plot it sits on. Just over half an acre.

It's gorgeous. Open views. How does this suit you?

Secluded. Not even a neighbour, really, even in sight.

Ample parking for the motor home, a double garage for all my bikes...

-Surfboard.

-Surfboard.

-Good work, Jean.

-I've got to get that in.

-Get it out of your house!

So it has gone very well indeed. The one thing that could scupper it is an inability to afford it!

Who would have thought that? Guessing the price time. Jean, you have been appalling.

-You have, but that's fine. Would you like to go first or second?

-First.

You'll go first. Right. A maximum budget of £250,000.

-You've lost every one so far. This is for pride.

-I reckon it will be a little bit more.

-Right.

-And I'd say...260.

-£260,000. OK.

We can all assume that's not the price, because it's your guess!

It might be! We never know. Mark, what do you think?

-I'll say 255.

-255.

-£5,000 underneath what Jean said. Unbelievable.

-He plays a shrewd game. It's a whitewash.

It's a win for you. Well done. Congratulations.

-Commiserations.

-He was nearer than I was?

Listen, Jean. It's bad news for the competition, but here comes the gold.

It's more important than you losing.

-The price of this property, the wildcard, is £225,000.

-Wow.

-Well below your budget.

-Yeah.

-And pretty much everything you want.

-I would still try to haggle.

-Everyone would haggle.

-You have pointed out a few things that need reworked.

-And we'll check out what the surveyor finds

and look at the potential of costs, et cetera.

Well, do you know what? We have a 45-minute episode, so whichever one you test drive,

you will get a non-legally binding survey with it. There you go.

-You have to get off and make the biggest decisions of your lives. Are you happy and excited?

-I am.

-I'd call an ambulance if you weren't. Head off over there and we'll see you later on.

-OK.

There we go. Three houses down. Which one will they test drive? You guys can have a recap.

My choice had the period feel and all the storage space,

but Mark seemed a bit lukewarm.

I've got to say Jean loved my Victorian four bed.

It was massive, with all the room they hoped for, but a compromise - the high-speed train line nearby.

The wildcard's magical powers are in evidence today.

-They both fell in love with it.

-Even the lack of a kitchen/diner and the flat Fens landscape was OK.

Mark, shiver my timbers! Goodness gracious me! What have you chosen to test drive? The wildcard!

-Jean, do you still love it?

-I do.

You do. So go on, then. I think we all know why, but why have you picked this one?

Probably more the outside space. And the look of the house from the outside, definitely.

-And its potential.

-We've had our surveyor come round and give it a thorough once over.

It's not legally binding and you'd have to get your own survey,

but it's a good heads up of what's involved.

You mentioned potential. It has it in abundance.

There's been some movement. We think it's most likely historical. Nothing recently,

so far as subsidence is concerned, but you'd do a more in-depth survey.

But the roof was an area where that is notable, OK?

But because of the depth of the roof, if you want to make a three-storey house, it's perfect.

Other than that, it's cracking. You've got room to expand there. It can take it.

-Are you still prepared to go in?

-We want a look around, yeah.

-Get in there, then! Go!

Right, here they come. Let's see how the camper van fits.

-Motor home, Jonny.

-Oh, yeah. Seems to go in very comfortably.

Right, let's get out and have a look.

-They're heading to the garden.

-It IS flat round here. Will Mark like it?

-I'm not sure, but I know Jean will be positive about it.

-I love it.

-There you go.

-Sounds like they've got wife Liz on the blower.

-'What's it like?'

-It's really good.

The outside space is more than we could hope for, really.

'Oh, my word! Excellent.'

Liz, when I first saw it, I really was so pleased that I nearly cried. It's lovely.

It really, really is. I can see me here at Christmas.

-Oh, they're buying this house, mark my words.

-Hang on a minute. The Lycra's coming out.

There he goes. Magnificent. Poetry in motion.

Hold the front page! Look at Jean go!

Look at that. Jean's back already.

-How long have you been back?

-Hours!

Mark, the Tour de France will have to wait.

-Well, how's it been? We know the camper van fits.

-Sure does.

-And you don't like that phrase.

-I don't.

-I know he doesn't!

-Motor home is what we'd like, yes?

-It's an upgrade from a camper van. It is definitely a motor home.

So all three properties, you've identified the area for you. Have you found that space here?

I have, yeah. This is what I'd like them to buy. I really would.

I notice, Mark, you have not mentioned an event that took place. Guess The Price, you're phenomenal.

Cycling, you own seven bikes. It would seem... Yeah?

-I was hoping we could avoid this.

-We could, we should, but we shan't.

-Jean...

-Well, I won, didn't I?

-What do you put it down to? Was it cunning? Guile?

-Good diet?

-Age and stamina.

-Age and stamina!

That'll work.

We're at nearly the end. Jean, you've loved every house.

-I have, yes.

-But you are not buying this. It will be your daughter.

Shall we ask you together? Should we ask Jean?

-Or Jean as Liz.

-OK.

-Be your daughter.

Right. I'm Liz and I think this is the one I'd like to live in.

-Turn to your loved one.

-Don't you think, darling?

-To buy or not to buy?

-Yes.

-To buy.

Yes!

Without our show, you'd have never looked here. It's not your area.

-No.

-We are brilliant.

-You are.

-Thank you!

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