Peterborough Outskirts To Buy or Not to Buy

THEME MUSIC: "The Magnificent Seven"

-Are you sure you know where you're going, Ed?

-Don't worry, partner.

Just beyond yonder tree over there is the rendezvous point.

-And what rendezvous point is that?

-Just outside Peterborough.

And there you were thinking we're doing To Buy Or Not To Buy Stateside. Come on!

Check this out. I can make Daisy here go right and left.

You're not exactly the UK's answer to the Horse Whisperer.

I know. But it is a good way to meet the buyers. They're horsey folk?

No, not exactly, but they want to be,

hence our equine arrival in these horsey surroundings.

-Yeah, but not exactly the Wild West, is it?

-No, but it did used to be a wild frontier tamed by man.

-A wild frontier? You're clutching at straws a bit, aren't you?

-I am. Onward, Colin! To the buyer chat!

'Coming up on To Buy Or Not To Buy, there's tough talking from today's buyers.'

It's still not huge. We'd struggle to get our bed in there.

-It wouldn't go up the stairs.

-So we'd have to cut it to pieces.

Sorry, Ed. Not doing very well, mate.

-I know that you live near the area.

-Yes.

-I've taken a gamble and not moved you very far. Good idea, bad idea?

-Bad.

'Oh, dear. Lucky we always have a wildcard up our sleeve.'

-Very nice.

-Superb. This is ticking just about every box.

'So let's meet today's posse of two as they ride out on their property quest in their shining steeds.

'Andy is an HGV driver, originally from Yorkshire.

'His partner Michelle is from Peterborough.

'And thanks to her hobby, she has created enough home-made wine to start her very own saloon.

'They've been together for five years and their next move not only involves finding the right house,

'but also finding enough land so Michelle can re-ignite her former passion for keeping horses.'

-Michelle and Andy, welcome to the programme. Are you excited and nervous?

-Very.

-I'm excited. She's nervous.

-Well, you've covered both areas.

-Now, you are very glamorous, very busy people, hard to pin down. Is this why you need our help?

-Partly.

-Partly.

-Partly.

-Why partly?

-We've been looking but we haven't found the perfect place.

-Uh-huh.

You've got very posh cars. You like to go on holiday.

-So we're looking for something quite swanky?

-It doesn't have to be.

-If you want swanky, have swanky.

-Swanky would be nice.

-We're all aiming for swanky. Describe us the dream. What are we after?

-Over to you.

-A house with land.

-Now, we're stood here for a reason, aren't we?

-Yeah.

-Just a bit.

-Land for?

-Gee-gees.

-Horses.

Have you got a minimum of acreage, a land amount, in mind?

Five would be nice. If it's more than that, it would be a bonus. But five would be nice.

-What's the minimum number of horses you're hoping to keep?

-For myself?

-Yeah.

-A couple.

-OK.

-A horse for me.

-And I want a pony.

-Oh! Now what's the joy of a pony?

-I've got a granddaughter.

-Ah! Well, of course.

You've been together five years. Do you need a house big enough for the children to be there as well?

-No. They do visit every now and then, but they don't live with us.

-No.

-So does that mean we need spare rooms?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-OK.

And we talked about the land, five acres would be ideal. But what sort of property have you got in mind?

It can be a derelict building that we want to do ourselves. It could be something perfect.

-It's...

-That makes our job easier.

-Yes, it certainly does.

Now, sometimes period is a bit of a sticking point.

-Do you want country "farmhousey"? Do you want modern or "olde"? Do you want what?

-Depends what it's like.

-OK. This is good.

-You're flexible.

-Yeah.

-A barn conversion would be nice.

-OK.

-So you do have the Utopian vision of what it'll be?

-Yes.

We are in the Fens. Now, where do you want to be? Have you got a particular place in mind?

-We need both commuting distance into Peterborough.

-Yes.

-So is there anything else we need to know before we set off on the hunt for you?

-Price-wise, basically.

-That's it. Everything else covered, just the price?

-Yeah.

So I would wager, with all the things you want, we need to be, to use estate agent parlance,

north of...300?

-300 would be nice. That would give us capital to spend.

-Can we go higher?

-Um... Maximum, if it's got absolutely everything, all singing, all dancing, 400,000.

-OK.

-Have we got a haggle zone?

-Yeah, you've got a haggle zone.

-Remember I'm a Yorkshireman.

-Oh, right.

-OK. So we're working with 400,000, but it has to be all singing, all dancing?

-Yes.

-Can we do this?

-I'm sure you two can. You guys are geniuses.

-Thank you. Brilliant!

-So we'll saddle up and ride our property pony and see you later.

-Thank you.

-That was sweet - geniuses.

-Yes, I'll take that every day of the week.

Housing humans, we are brilliant at, geniuses at.

But housing horses or "propertying" ponies or stabling shires...

..we're not very good at at all.

So I need to learn something about that. If they're going into that world, they expect answers from us.

-We need to know that.

-What will you do?

-I'll do that. What will you do?

-I'll find out about horses, houses and hectares of land.

-See you later.

So we're heading into the Fens. This is horsey territory.

Lots of people who have land here make the land work for them,

so fields of horses are not an unfamiliar sight here.

The Fenlands span from Lincoln to Cambridge and from King's Lynn to Peterborough,

covering an area of around one million acres of flat, fertile soil, with big skyscapes.

Fortunately, Andy and Michelle are only after about five acres.

The Fens was once a wild swamp-like frontier that has been tamed by the people of the area through drainage.

This drainage has uncovered valuable farming land, about half the grade-one farming land in England.

And obviously good quality land comes at a premium.

To add to the horsiness of the area, the world-famous Newmarket racecourse is just down the road.

-Could we throw in any more frontier or horsey lines?

-Indeed we could.

But let's see how much a property with land will cost you around the rest of the UK.

This three-bedroomed, detached bungalow

is in the heart of Exmoor with an orchard and a paddock measuring nearly two acres.

It's perfect for any pampered pony.

On the market for 415 grand.

Heading north to East Yorkshire,

how about this substantial, three-bedroomed, detached house

on a three-acre plot with its own fishing lake and large paddock?

An idyllic setting for horsing around,

all for 425 grand.

Last, but by no means least,

this five-bedroomed, detached house is just outside Lampeter in Wales.

Not only does it have six acres of land incorporating equestrian facilities,

it also has access to a private 22-acre lake. Astonishing.

Superb stomping ground for any stallion at 395 grand.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Hugo and Margaret. Clearly, Hugo is the horse.

-Margaret, how are you?

-Very well, thank you.

-Now, I need your help.

Because of high demand and short supply,

pony paddocks are the most expensive grazing land per acre in the UK.

At an average price of £10,000 per acre, it's almost twice as expensive as your standard grazing land.

If you picked one of the more des-res horsey areas such as the New Forest or Surrey,

then that acreage could cost you as much as £30,000. But you're worth it, aren't you? Yes, you are!

Now, we find our property and we might just have a field next to it.

-Is it as simple as just build some horse houses and away we go?

-No, it's not, I'm afraid!

-Really not?

-No. You've got to have planning permission.

-You've got to have the correct drainage because there's quite a lot of effluent from stables.

-Right.

You need water and somewhere to get rid of all your waste. So it's not as easy as just putting stables up.

It's hard to gauge the number of horses in the UK.

It's only the details of those kept on farms that are actually recorded.

It's thought to be between 600,000 and 1.2 million.

However, DEFRA, the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs,

have come up with a cunning plan and that is to give horses passports.

That conjures up images of horses squeezing into booths and putting coins in with their hooves,

but it's a very good idea. It means all horse details will be kept on a national equine database.

If I'm out there and I'm sticking me finger in the ground, what kind of ground condition are we looking for?

Well, you obviously don't want clay because that's going to be slippery as well.

-So you want the happy medium - gentle sloping would be nice.

-Uh-huh.

-Fenland is good cos it's quite peaty.

-Yes.

-So you don't really get a very wet problem.

-And really, anywhere where the grass grows well.

-Right. OK.

-If the grass grows well, it's good for horses.

LOUD NEIGHING

-I'm loving this whole country life thing.

-It is lovely. We almost look like cowboys. Almost.

I've learnt a lot about the world of horses from Margaret.

Horses and owning horses and owning a menage and doing all those things is not as easy as you think.

-I thought it was easy.

-It's not just buying a horse and buying some land.

-The viewers now know that. How have you got on?

-Very well indeed. We've got three fantastic houses today.

-They're all a bit wild.

-Wild West.

-It's the Wild West theme. So wild property number one...

Now for Andy and Michelle, they did say that the land is their first and foremost consideration, isn't it?

So as far as property one goes, it's got all the land that they're going to require,

-plus a driveway that Andy can stick his rig down.

-How much land? Give me a hint.

-More than four acres.

Now that's not to say that we've discounted the property cos that gives them everything they want.

It's in March. It's a location they'll love.

That is property one.

Wild one number two is wild for a few reasons. Wild because of the place's name. I won't spoil it yet,

but it is in my top three of comical-named villages that we've been to.

It is very beautiful. And I'm going out on a limb here. This is everything they've asked for.

An old-style property - tick.

They wanted horses - I've given them horses.

It is beautiful. It is lovely. If they don't like that, I don't know what I'll do.

-That's the one they'll buy.

-You think?

-That's a fact almost.

Out on a limb. Now, property three, the third and final wild property,

will challenge their conception of what they think they want because they didn't want a brand-new house.

Yes. We have really challenged that by giving them a brand-new house.

-Also, what else did they like?

-Lots of land.

-All about the land for them. We've challenged that.

It has the least amount of land. But it has enough, I would say.

Yes, exactly. The bare minimum that they were after. It has that. But it's such a fantastic property.

It's in a gorgeous village called Benwick. There's three wild houses to show them. Where shall we start?

Let's saddle up and ride our pony to property number one, Jonny's one.

So let's get this property bonanza started with my choice, wild property number one.

This three double-bedroomed, detached house has a fantastic entertaining garden,

five acres and fishing rights in the river at the bottom of the garden.

Not quite the barn conversion they're after, but this could be a frontrunner in today's horsey race.

OK. Andy, Michelle, property one today is my choice.

Before I get your first impressions, couple of details, things that you're after.

One of them wasn't a 50-foot driveway, but look at this.

30 minutes to Peterborough which is fantastic.

You wanted some land. You've got that. What do you think of the property?

-Nice, big plot.

-It's nice.

-Busy road outside. Not the best for horses.

The road's busy, but we've stood here and not a car's gone by, so...

-Well, here's one. Excellent timing! There we go.

-That's what roads do. They always deliver.

What do you think of its location? Is this a good spot for you?

-Location-wise, it's fine.

-The house is nicely set back from the road.

-You've got a lovely bit of frontage here.

-We've got a bit at the back and quite a bit at the front.

-So, yeah, best of both worlds.

-OK. Horses aside and access on to the speedyish road,

what do you think about the property itself? This is kind of modernish. Well, it's modern looking, isn't it?

-So it's not the country cottage. What are your feelings on that?

-Um...

-I don't know yet.

-May I just hark back to earlier? You said you were flexible on property style!

-Yeah.

I wouldn't actually come out myself and look at it, I must admit.

OK. Never judge a book by its cover, although we do make you do that outside every single house!

The great thing about this show is it gets people viewing properties that they normally would dismiss.

-So this now is a really interesting prospect.

-What a great way of justifying a house!

So get yourselves inside. Have a look around. We will be listening.

-Lovely.

-Enjoy.

-Thank you.

Nice hallway.

Yes, it's nice.

I'd certainly change the wallpaper but there you go. Rocking horse for Bailey. Very nice.

Oh, this is nice. Nice country kitchen.

That's what you call a dog-friendly kitchen because if they do their proverbial on the floor,

you can still wipe it up.

-Dog-friendly spaces mean wipe clean, don't they?

-Yeah.

-Otherwise it's not that dog-friendly.

-They couldn't get much purchase on a shiny floor.

-Good fun, though. Call them to you and then make them stop.

That's nice. It's got the fire.

-It's nice, but it's compact, isn't it?

-Yeah.

I wonder what would sit there?

-Nice little cover over it. Hot tub.

-Mmm...

-Very nice.

Actually, forget the hot tub there, we'll put it round the back. It'll be more private.

What we've learnt about Andy and Michelle is what goes on in the hot tub stays in the hot tub.

They don't want anyone else to see... Think no more about that as that's invading their privacy.

I've thought too much about it and I need to get it out of my head.

-Looks like a bit of a...

-What have we got out there? Let's have a look.

-A conservatory.

It's more a storage, isn't it, really? Actually, you can do your wine-making in there.

-It would be ideal for that.

-Wouldn't it?

-Yeah.

-Here's a thought.

-Yeah.

-That utility is quite big. Horses have four legs. Humans have two legs.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

It would speed up the process of treading the grapes immeasurably. You'd do it in double-quick time.

If you got planks of wood and joined the front hoof to the rear hoof...

French people, if you're watching, this is our idea. Right?

-Oh, look.

-Downstairs bathroom.

-Corner bath.

-That's nice.

-You wouldn't really touch that, would you?

-No, that's lovely.

Oh, a dining room.

-A-ha! And that goes into the conservatory. Well, you'd get the table in here no problem.

-Yes.

-Conservatory.

-Very nice.

-There's more rooms than you think. It's a lot bigger than you think.

-Yeah. No two ways about that.

Labyrinthine, I would say, this house. Labyrinthine.

-Not upstairs, but downstairs, very much labyrinthine. Like a labyrinth.

-Labyrinthine?

Labyrinthine or labyrin-"tine". Either way.

-Labyrin-"theen". Is it definitely not that?

-I don't know.

-I'm not good with words.

-If that's what you think it is, then I would say it's not that.

-One more room.

-One more downstairs, right?

-Yeah.

It's the bedroom.

-It's not a bad size, is it?

-I suppose this would be all right if Ma and Pa came to stop,

then they wouldn't have to climb upstairs.

Here we go! Now this is the sensible thing. Right, Ma and Pa - perfect.

This is a house that keeps on giving.

They're dealing with the fact that you've given them a bungalow very well.

-What I like is it is a bungalow until you go upstairs and then it's a house!

-But isn't every house that?

This is nice.

-So this is obviously the master bedroom then.

-Yeah.

That gives you your first inkling of a bit of a view.

-Nice.

-Yeah. Very nice.

And what have we got in there?

Oh, now then...

-Well, there's your shower.

-Yeah.

-Oh, that's nice, isn't it?

-So this is obviously bedroom number three.

-Yes. It's bigger though than the other one, isn't it?

-Yeah.

It's just a pity it hasn't got an en-suite, isn't it? But what's that in there?

-A-ha!

-An en-suite.

-It has got an en-suite.

Oh, it's got a shower round there. That's nice as well.

So you've got guests that can stop in the other room with the en-suite.

You've got parents who can stop downstairs that have got their own bathroom downstairs.

-All bases covered.

-Yeah.

-Jonny...

-Yeah.

-You've not done a bad job, mate.

-Hello!

-Hi.

-Hiya.

-How are you doing? All right?

-Good, thank you.

So, property one, you've had a good look around. What do you think?

-It's totally different from the outside.

-It is.

-You were saying, from the outside, that you wouldn't have viewed it, so was it worth it?

-Yes.

-Definitely. A really good idea. I'm glad you brought us.

-OK.

The only issue that I possibly have is the living room is not quite big enough.

-But this land is a bonus.

-Well, the land was certainly the first thing you flagged up as what you wanted.

There are sort of smaller reception rooms and it does have a nice flow.

And it is a house that offers you options for entertaining.

-We did say if there was going to be a compromise, it would be the house.

-Exactly.

-Let's talk about the land. 5.1 acres we've got out here. Not bad, that, is it?

-Perfect.

We're at the point now where we play "guess the price".

-The beauty that we are dealing with here is lovely.

-Yep.

-We have a maximum budget of £400,000.

-That's if everything is done and doesn't need any work.

-Yes.

How much is Jonny's beast on the market for?

-Who would like to go first?

-Ladies first.

-The 400 mark.

-£400,000.

OK. Andy, your go is next.

-Confession time.

-Confession time out here in a field? What have you done?

Confession time. I've seen this one on the internet.

You... So... This is very gentlemanly of you here, Andy.

-So you're owning up to knowing it?

-Yes.

I would have just gone for "guess the price" and tried to win, but...

-You've seen it on the internet and decided you didn't want to look at it?

-Yep.

LAUGHTER

Well, here we go. And what do you know this is on the market for?

-Well, Michelle is close. Very close. 415.

-Look at that. Is he right?

-Yeah.

-He is right!

-That was absolutely spot-on.

Jonny, it's up to you to choose who's won that. We've got someone who knew the answer

-and technically cheated, but owned up.

-Yeah.

-And you've got Michelle who's just lost.

-You were within about 3%.

-Who's won?

-OK, Michelle, you get it.

-Unbelievable.

-Shall we go to property number two?

-Sounds good to me.

-Yes.

-It's not this way but let's go there.

'Not bad, but it's my turn to take the reins with this characterful, farmhouse-style property.

'Situated on a site measuring about three acres,

-'it already has paddocks, two timber stables and a menage.

-A what?

-It's a horse exercise area, Jonny.

-Nice.'

Andy and Michelle, Michelle and Andy,

welcome to a place that is in my top three favourite names ever on To Buy Or Not To Buy.

"Wapload" Drove. Have you ever been to "Wapload" Drove before?

-Not in Lincolnshire, probably in Yorkshire. But no, it's Whaplode Drove.

-Whaplode Drove?

Well, I start the campaign to call it "Wapload" Drove.

It's a beautifully named place. It would give a smile to anyone on a Christmas card.

-The property is beautiful. I know that you live near the area.

-Yes.

I've taken a gamble and not moved you very far. Good idea? Bad idea?

-Bad.

-THEY LAUGH

-Hang about. This sounds like fun. Why?

-If you're moving, you want to move?

-Yes.

Yeah, but I can put it in a cart and bring it down here. I don't want to do that.

OK. So area-wise, I've made a bold gamble, not the cleverest one. But the property is beautiful.

-OK.

-We're playing with four to five bedrooms in here. What do you think?

-Open-minded.

-Yes.

-Open... You are hard to please.

-What are the issues? What are the concerns?

-Not the right area for the horses.

-OK.

-Let's take the area out of the equation...

-Yep.

-So we can learn something from this,

cos I think when you go in there, you may change your opinion.

Building. Land. The look of it from here. Michelle, what do you think?

-It looks nice. It does look nice.

-I think it's a property that's got loads of period charm.

-Right.

Which is one of the things you did ask for. I'm not sure it'll give you the entertaining space you want,

-but you're prepared to do some work to make it fit your requirements.

-There's none needed in there!

-OK, are you ready?

-Yes.

-Be on your best behaviour.

-We'll try.

-Whaplode Drove - go.

-Thank you.

-Oh, this is useful. It looks perfect for shoes.

-Mm-hm.

-The kitchen's nice.

-Very nice.

-Is it big enough for the table?

-Yeah, I would think so.

-Yeah? Unless there's a dining room, of course.

-They said that their furniture wouldn't fit. And I said, "Don't you dare make me say this to you."

-No.

I said it. "Don't buy a house based on your furniture."

-He said, "Our furniture's very expensive." I said, "Fair enough."

-Good point.

Well, this is a quirky little area, isn't it?

-Mm-hm. A bit like another entrance or...

-So that's probably your main entrance door, isn't it?

And this is...

-A living room or dining room.

-It'll probably be a dining room. It's not big enough for a living room.

Oh, this is a living room.

It's dark.

If you can call it a living room.

You can just about pick the cat up and throw it about, can't you? Just about enough room.

-That's just a little add-on, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-A bit strange.

-That's a waste of space, isn't it?

-If these walls disappeared, that would be twice the size.

-Yeah, then it would be a big...

You take away the character then.

You ask for character on this show, you get it. I've given it them and somehow...

It's amazing the amount of people who ask for character. You show them and they go, "But it's a bit small."

The stairs are steep.

Yeah. Just a little bit.

-More wood.

-Yeah.

-To make what is a little bedroom, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Basically.

-How big is this one?

-Well, this one's bigger.

-A-ha!

-Oh, look at that.

THEY LAUGH

-That is old-fashioned, isn't it?

-Very, yeah.

-You notice every room has got a fireplace?

-Yes. You've got your floorboards as well.

-This is like your grandma's old room.

-Yeah.

I don't know if that's a positive or a negative, reminding Andy of his grandma or not.

Depends how close they were. It could have wonderful connotations or...

I always remember there being a very scary picture at my grandma's house and I wouldn't go into one room.

It was a boy with a lute with a kind of wayward look in his eye. And I never wanted to go in the room.

-Oh, this is the...

-Crikey.

-..shower room.

-Well, that's bright. So that's supposed to be the bathroom then?

Well... I don't know.

-Unless it's just the shower, I don't know. Unless there's another one.

-OK.

-I like the panelling. That's nice.

-Now, the rooms are small. But that's what you get when you get five rooms in a house this size.

-Yeah.

-There's plenty of them, isn't there?

-There are. And there a lot of double bedrooms there.

And it's not a bungalow in disguise like Jonny's. It's lovely. It's character.

It's in a brilliantly named place called "Wapload" Drove. And I love it.

And number four.

Well, there's a door there.

Oh...

Bathroom.

-It's different, isn't it?

-Very different.

Must be the family bathroom, I would think.

-Oh, there's the other staircase. So it comes right through.

-Oh...

-There's the master bedroom, I think.

-Still not huge. We'd struggle to get our bed in there.

-I don't think we'd get it up the stairs.

-We wouldn't, so we'd have to cut it to pieces.

Sorry, Ed! Not done very well, mate.

Andy was polite to reveal outside your property that he already knew the price.

And he's polite enough here to say, sorry, he doesn't like it.

"But thanks for showing me. Helps me rule out the things I don't want."

And the viewers found out about a place called "Wapload".

-Hello!

-Hello!

Now, I may not have a GCSE in reading people,

but I do believe you did not like that as much as I thought you would like it.

You're very perceptive(!)

Right. This has, technically, everything you want.

-Except the right house.

-That is it. I thought you'd like this house more than you'd like Jonny's one.

-But I am a fool. What don't you like about this one?

-I don't like where it's set.

-It's very enclosed as well.

-The rooms are tiny.

-Yeah.

-It's just not us.

On paper it almost reads as though it should work for you.

It's a period property. It has character, three acres of land, double garage.

So it sounds like this is what you're after. But when you put those things together...

-More rural, I'd say.

-It's just not floated your boat.

-No.

-So you'd like it more rural?

-Yes.

So we'll learn from this experience or this has been a dreadful error.

So, time to play "guess the price". Ed's choice.

-It's lovely, but it's not floated your boat for whatever reason.

-No.

-Andy, do you want to go first?

-We should check if Andy has...

-You know the price?

-No. I think it's ladies first.

-OK.

-He's only doing that, so wherever I go...

-So we think he's being chivalrous, but it's tactical?

-I'll go first.

-Right.

-That's fine.

I would say it's on the market for about 325.

-OK. Michelle, what do you think?

-I would say lower.

I think lower.

Maybe nearly 300.

-So you're saying 300,000?

-Mm-hm.

-And you're saying 325?

-Yes.

-The correct answer is?

Well, this is disgusting. You have underestimated Whaplode Drove!

It's lovely!

You're out... You're... You... Right. The actual price it's on the market for is 349,950.

-OK.

-Shame on you both.

Well, there we go. Two properties down. One went very well. One not so well.

But there's still a chance to redeem ourselves - property three.

-Are you ready for it?

-Yeah.

-It's this way.

-OK.

'OK. Time to dust myself off and get back in the property saddle with today's wild property number three.

'They didn't want a newly-built house.

'But will they be able to resist this individually designed, four-bed detached house,

'complete with paddocks, stables and an all-weather surface exercise area?

'But with only two acres, will this property fall at the final hurdle?'

-OK. Andy, Michelle, first of all, is everybody calm? Is everybody all right?

-Well...

-Let's not ask me at the moment, shall we?

-OK. So, property three. Here we are. Now, we are in Benwick.

-So first of all, location-wise, are we OK?

-Location, it's ticking pretty much most of the boxes.

-Not as amusing to write on a Christmas card as "Wapload" Drove, is it?

-No.

You are all about the land, so let's talk about just how much you've got with this property.

There is two acres. I know that's the lower end of the scale of the amount of land you wanted,

but, as you did say, if you get a couple of horses, Michelle, it'd be worth considering.

It's also a very new house. So first impressions - what do you think?

First impressions - we said we didn't want new.

You said you didn't want new! I gave you old and then I...

-There is the "but".

-Go on then.

The "but" is it's built in character and it does look very nice.

-It is characterful. And one of the reasons that is, it's because it's individually designed.

-Right.

-Michelle, what do you think?

-It looks nice.

-Are you as much a fan of it, from the outside, as Andy is?

-It looks good.

-It's a very horsey village.

-Yes.

There is a person that comes round and collects the horse doings for you.

-And they've got horse-sitters here as well.

-Oh, very good.

So going on your holidays, call in the horse-sitter. I don't know how it works,

if they read them bedtime stories or not. I don't know if that's part of the deal.

-So everything covered. Are you excited about going in?

-Yes.

-Be on your best behaviour.

If you don't like this one, there'll be trouble. Three, two, one, go!

Oh.

Oh, that's nice.

Wow! You never thought you'd hear that from me, did you?

Dining room.

-Which is... That's just a perfect size for what we've got, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-And then you've got your patio doors that go outside as well.

-Yeah.

-Hmm.

-Very nice.

-Have your meal. Glass of wine. Outside in the sunshine. Everyone's happy.

-Andy is always banging on about the wine.

-Well, he's married the right woman, hasn't he?

-If his missus is brewing it up... Is it called brewing?

-Fermenting?

-This is quite a big room, isn't it?

-Mm-hm.

-Very nice.

-Fireplace.

-Liking this one.

-Yes, it's nice, isn't it?

-I'm getting a good feel about this one.

-French doors.

-Yeah. So you're outside again.

-To the garden.

-Yeah.

Dare I say? I'm sorry, Ed. And I'm sorry, Jonny.

-The first two weren't brilliant, but this one is looking...

-Very nice.

-..superb.

This is ticking just about every box. Very nice.

-There you go!

-He's blown any tension on the programme, which I care about slightly.

But I'm just happy that he likes it.

Oh, I like this!

This is lovely.

-Now, this is ticking the old box, isn't it?

-This is fantastic.

-You always said you wanted a central island.

-Oh, this is really nice.

-And there you are.

And it's got loads of space! Your table.

This is...a proper kitchen.

-Oh!

-Now then...

-Oh, my goodness!

-Oh, utility... Hey!

Wine-making heaven.

Yeah!

We have created wine-making heaven by happy accident.

I imagined they would do it in the shed, but this is even better.

-Another door here.

-Oh. Another surprise.

-Wow!

-Oh, now then.

-Computer room!

Ha-ha! Just think, you could lock yourself away in here and do whatever you wanted.

-And I reckon, judging by that carpet, it's shoes off time.

-Yeah.

The owners of this house were very nervous cos they love it.

They didn't want anyone to not love it as much as they do.

-They do. They've taken their shoes off.

-That's respect.

-It's respect.

-Brought up very well.

-Perfect!

-Oh, yes.

-Oh! Gallery landing!

That looks lovely.

Oh, look.

Look how big it is!

-HIGH VOICE:

-"Oh! Gallery landing! Michelle, gallery landing!"

"Oh, Michelle! Gallery landing!"

That's exactly how he said it.

"Michelle! The cat's done a whoopsie. He's got a gallery landing."

-Oh, very nice.

-Oh, en-suite.

And that, correct me if I'm wrong, is a double shower.

Yeah.

-It's very nice.

-You've got room for two in there.

-Well, we can't correct you on that because it is in fact a double shower.

-Get in!

-Also, they've got the hot tub out the back there. This is a sexy house, n'est-ce pas?

-Hello!

Look at all the wardrobes.

-So this is possibly master then?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

Right. Let's see what wonders we find in this one.

-Blimey!

-Oh, crikey. Whoa!

HE LAUGHS

-It's massive.

-That's not a bathroom, that's a swimming pool.

-Could fit a jacuzzi in there, you know.

-Yeah.

-That's not difficult.

-Even this has got loads of room.

-So this is bedroom three.

You've got two double wardrobes there. Still got plenty of room for a double bed.

I do like this one. It's lovely.

-Oh.

-Oh!

-Same again.

-So we've got four bedrooms? Every one's got storage.

-Yeah.

-And the view...

-It's lovely, isn't it?

-Hmm.

Very nice indeed.

-There's only one thing I hope now.

-What?

-I hope we can afford the lovely, beautiful house they've got.

I'm just hoping they haven't overpriced it.

-Well, it's safe to say that you've definitely redeemed yourself with this choice.

-I think so.

-It's gone really well in there. You two shone.

-That's very kind. Thank you.

-Now, I'm confused because when we first met...

-Yes.

..you were all about the land and you would compromise on the house.

-Yeah.

-You've done the exact opposite here.

-Yes.

We've got the smallest amount of land here, but they've used it well.

-It's really well set out.

-So that ticks that box for you?

-It does.

-You didn't like modern houses.

-No.

-This was built in 2006.

But it is not a modern, brick-built, same house. It's got character.

Exactly. This is what we were saying, isn't it?

-How could I win with it? Anyway, I am pleased, though, that you've been open to different areas.

-Yes.

-There's nerves because...

-There's more than nerves.

-There's huge butterflies in there.

-It's "guess the price" time. We are neck and neck.

-It's the decider!

-But this time it's not really about who wins "guess the price".

-It's about how much does it cost? Who wants to go first?

-You go first.

-All right.

-OK.

Maximum budget - £400,000. That's if it all sings, all dances.

I'll go just below - 399,999.

-Very optimistic.

-Yes. Yes!

-No.

-Come on, Michelle.

It's going to be higher.

I would go more likely 430, somewhere... Maybe even higher!

-But I think it's going to be...

-So you think we have incorporated the haggle zone?

-Mm-hm.

-£430,000?

-Well... You're spot-on!

-Am I?

I'm glad you're really happy because it's 30 grand over budget.

-How does that sound? You're just thrilled you've won?

-Yeah.

-Is that softening the blow?

-No. No way!

-But we are not about cruelty on the programme.

-Yeah.

We have incorporated the haggle zone.

-Now, we have been led to believe that they will accept offers very near to the top of your budget.

-OK.

-So, we figured it was worth showing it to you because it's lovely.

-I'm glad you did.

-Yeah.

So you are at the point where you have to go away and make the biggest decision of your adult lives.

-Are you prepared?

-It's not going to be easy!

-OK. Well, once you've made your decision,

-we will see you outside of your chosen vehicle. Good luck.

-Thank you very much.

-See you later.

-Cheers.

We've seen all three properties. Property one went very well.

Property two, not so much. But property three came back a stormer.

It was astounding. I wonder which one they'll pick?

And here's a recap for you at home.

So will my choice be wearing the winner's rosette today?

This deceptively spacious, three-bedroomed detached house

with five acres clearly had the equestrian potential.

Slightly over budget, though, at 415 grand.

Now, I loved my choice, property two.

It had character and charm, much like me.

It also had three acres and a menage - again, like me.

I thought Andy and Michelle would have loved this more than they did.

Maybe they'll have a change of heart as it was under budget at 349,950.

Call me crazy, but I think property three is possibly odds-on favourite

for making it into the winner's circle.

It may have their minimum requirement of two acres of land,

but it was a snapshot of the lifestyle they're after

at the princely sum of 430 grand.

Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise!

-You have chosen to test-drive...

-The wildcard.

-Shall we even ask why?

-Lovely.

-Beautiful.

-You love it, don't you?

-Yeah.

Despite your inhibitions about modern houses, this one has really resonated with you, hasn't it?

-It's modern, but it's character modern.

-It's gripped you.

We have had our mysterious To Buy Or Not To Buy surveyor give it a thorough once-over.

It is not legally binding. So if you do buy it, you have to get your own survey.

-Are you prepared for the news?

-Fire away.

One of the things he picked up on is with regards to the fireplace.

It's a lovely feature, but it's currently gas.

Now, it's worth looking to see if the chimney could take other forms of fuel.

OK. Otherwise... Now, the building itself is a one-off.

-The guy has done it. You need to know whether it's got its NHBC and its architect's certificate.

-Right.

-OK. Knowing all that stuff, do you wish to test-drive it?

-We'd love to, please.

-Even the word "please".

-OK. In three, two, one, get in that house and fool around. Go!

-Thank you.

-When we say fool around, we mean have a bit of fun.

-Yes. Or fool around.

-We're now going to fool around somewhere else. Or have a bit of fun.

-In the paddocks?

-Yes!

'Well, Michelle is getting her priorities right

'and seeing if she can make that all-important wine in the lovely, large kitchen.

'It looks complicated. Can't she just nip to the local supermarket?

'No, Jonny, it's all about the process. And you couldn't wish for better surroundings.

'OK. Well, it looks like Michelle may have whipped Andy into some work.'

# So whip crack away, whip crack away, whip crack away

# Whip crack away, whip crack away!

# Whip crack away! #

'Nice sponge work, Andy. You deserve a drink.

-'So do you think they're toasting us on our excellent house-finding skills?

-Let's find out.'

-Hello.

-Hi.

-This is lovely.

-Are you test-driving the horse as well?

-That's included in the price?

-I don't know.

Everything is negotiable, I believe. But I'm not sure if the horses are.

-So...

-Expertly fed.

-The open palms so it doesn't eat your fingers. Are you having a lovely time?

No, it's terrible. Absolutely terrible(!) Yeah.

-I can see why you're going for the lifestyle here.

-Because the outside space is the only compromise

-you're having to make with this property, isn't it?

-Yes.

-But how much of a compromise does it feel?

-There isn't any compromise.

-No.

-Look at that!

-Back of the net.

So you've been having a wonderful time. Wine has been made. This is now the vintage of the village.

-This is Benwick's finest.

-I believe you are the only person making wine in the village,

-so you've got that market cornered.

-Yes.

-You've spent more time in it. What do you reckon?

Just about ticks every single box we can think about. Almost there. Almost there.

And is it worth moving, do you think?

I think it could be, yeah. I think it very well could be. Yeah. It's serious thought. Serious thought.

So we are tantalisingly close to the end of the programme, but it can't end without one thing.

The big question. We've seen three houses. You test-drove this one.

-Andy, Michelle, to buy or not to buy?

-What do you think?

-What do you think?

-What does the horse think? Come on!

-Well, the horse wants us to stay.

-Right.

-Are you saying "neigh"?

-We'd love to be here. If we can negotiate the price right - to buy.

-So, hinging on everything, this is a definite "to buy", isn't it? You love it.

-Yes.

-You don't want to reveal too much because you've got to negotiate.

-Yes.

-They love this property a lot.

-Thank you for coming on.

-Thank you for having us.

-And we are relieved that you love this place. Can we have lessons on the horses when you open up?

-Yes.

But you were fine on that horse this morning.

-And you'll be able to go in the hot tub.

-With a glass of...

-Some wine.

-Nice.

-A stage too far, I would say. Well, we're going to leave you here.

-Become more acquainted with the property and please buy it.

-We'd love to.

-See you soon.

-Thank you.

Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd - 2011